All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S06E02

Janine: I AM VERY MISERABLE
IN THIS BODY,

AND I FEEL LIKE
I'M A TICKING TIME BOMB.

**

[ GROANING ]

MY LIFE IS WASTING AWAY,
AND I HATE IT.

I'VE TRIED TO CHANGE,

BUT SOMETHING ALWAYS
KNOCKS ME DOWN.

**

MY LIFE -- IT'S LIKE
LIVING A DEATH SENTENCE.

[ GROANS ]

OW, [BLEEP]!

THIS IS NO LIFE FOR ANYONE.

**

[ Sobbing ]
JUST PRAY FOR ME!

OW, MY LEG!

-SIT DOWN RIGHT THERE.
-WAIT.

YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD.

THIS IS COMPLETELY
UNACCEPTABLE.

**

[ Sobbing ]
I CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU GOT THIS.
YOU GOT THIS.

[ SOBBING ]

OH, GOD.

-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

**

Janine: LIFE CAN BE
COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE.

AND WHEN YOU TRY HARDER
TO CONTROL IT...

THE WORSE IT CAN GET.

**

**

**

[ GROANS ]

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,
MY BODY HURTS SO MUCH,

AND THE PAIN IN MY JOINTS
IS SO BAD.

I HURT IN WAYS I NEVER DREAMED
THAT I WOULD.

AND I'M LIKE,
"HOW AM I GONNA DO THIS,

AND HOW AM I GONNA GET
THROUGH THIS DAY?"

I JUST DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY
TO DEAL WITH IT.

**

BUT BECAUSE OF HOW PAINFUL IT IS
TO WALK...

I HAVE TO USE MY SCOOTER
TO GET ANYWHERE...

OOH.

OKAY,
THAT DIDN'T FEEL GOOD.

...EVEN HERE IN MY APARTMENT.

**

THERE ARE MANY DAYS I WISH
I HAD SOMEONE TO HELP ME

BECAUSE IT'S GETTING
HARDER AND HARDER

TO DO ANYTHING.

AND MY PERSONAL HYGIENE HAS
BECOME VERY CHALLENGING.

[ GRUNTS ]

BUT I JUST CAN'T GIVE UP
AND STOP TRYING.

BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT I CLEAN

ALL OF THE FOLDS AND THE ROLLS,

AND ANYTHING WHERE
MOISTURE CAN COLLECT,

I HAVE TO MAKE SURE
IT'S CLEAN...

BECAUSE MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

IF I GET A RASH THAT
GETS INFECTED,

IT COULD KILL ME,

SO I HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT
I TRY TO CLEAN EVERY DAY,

ESPECIALLY AT THE
LYMPHEDEMA IN MY LEGS.

BECAUSE IT COULD GET REALLY BAD,

AND I JUST DON'T WANT
ANY INFECTIONS.

I AM VERY MISERABLE
IN THIS BODY.

I FEEL LIKE...
[ SIGHS ]

I FEEL LIKE MY BODY
HAS BETRAYED ME.

**

BECAUSE THE PAIN I FEEL
WITH EVERY SINGLE MOVE

IS GETTING TO THE POINT
WHERE IT'S ALMOST UNBEARABLE.

**

I WOULD NOT WISH
THIS ON ANYBODY.

**

BECAUSE THIS ISN'T HOW
ANYONE'S LIFE IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

I DON'T HAVE A LIFE ANYMORE.

AND I CAN'T EVEN DO
SOMETHING SIMPLE,

LIKE PUT MY CLOTHES ON

WITHOUT FEELING LIKE
I'M GONNA PASS OUT.

**

BECAUSE IT'S SO EXCRUCIATING.

[ WHEEZING ]

**

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG

I CAN CONTINUE
TO FUNCTION LIKE THIS.

I'M JUST AFRAID I'M GONNA BECOME
THIS BIG MASS OF PAIN

THAT JUST LAYS
IN MY BED ALL DAY.

**

BUT THE REALITY IS, IS THAT,

THAT IS STARTING
TO HAPPEN TO ME,

**

AND I KNOW IT'S BECAUSE
I'M KILLING MYSELF WITH FOOD,

BUT I WON'T STOP EATING.

**

FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP,

IT'S ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT.

AND I AM A SUGAR ADDICT,
FOR SURE.

SCORE!

SUGAR RULES MY WORLD,

WHETHER I WANT IT TO OR NOT.

**

I LOVE SUGAR.

BUT I KNOW MY LOVE AFFAIR
WITH FOOD IS KILLING ME.

**

BUT I JUST CAN'T STOP MYSELF
AT THIS POINT.

**

BECAUSE NOTHING MAKES ME
FEEL AS GOOD AS I DO

WHEN I HAVE THAT TASTE
IN MY MOUTH.

**

AND WHEN I'M DONE,

I ALREADY CAN'T WAIT
UNTIL MY NEXT MEAL.

BUT I'M HORRIFIED.

I NEVER THOUGHT
IT WOULD GET TO THIS.

I NEVER THOUGHT MY LIFE
WOULD BE LIKE THIS.

[ GROANS, SIGHS ]

**

I WAS ADOPTED WHEN
I WAS ABOUT 2-MONTHS-OLD,

AND I GREW UP IN A FAMILY WHERE
I WAS THE YOUNGEST OF THREE

AND THE ONLY GIRL.

**

SO IN A LOT OF WAYS,
I THINK MY PARENTS

JUST DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH ME.

AND WHAT MADE IT WORSE WAS,

THE ADOPTION AGENCY
TOLD MY PARENTS

THAT MY BIRTH MOTHER
WAS A LARGE WOMAN,

THEREFORE, I SHOULD BE
CLOSELY MONITORED

SO THAT I DIDN'T TURN OUT
THE SAME WAY.

MY MOTHER, GOD BLESS HER,
TOOK THAT VERY MUCH TO HEART

AND WAS WAITING
FOR ME TO GET FAT.

SO, FOR MY MOM,
IT WAS LIKE AN OBSESSION.

SHE WAS CONSTANTLY
WORRIED OR CONCERNED

ABOUT MY WEIGHT ALL THE TIME.

AND SHE AND THE PEDIATRICIAN
DECIDED,

ABOUT THE TIME I WAS 3,
TO PUT ME ON MY FIRST DIET.

AND WHEN I WAS 4,

THE SAME PEDIATRICIAN DECIDED
THAT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA

TO START ME ON DIET PILLS.

AND THAT REALLY STARTED
TO MESS ME UP.

'CAUSE THE PILLS HAVE THE SAME
SIDE EFFECTS AS AMPHETAMINES.

SO I WAS, BASICALLY,

A 4-YEAR-OLD ON SPEED.

AND MY LIFE WAS NEVER THE SAME
AFTER THAT.

**

AND MY WEIGHT STAYED
THE CENTRAL FOCUS

IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOM
AS I GOT OLDER.

SO, MY MOM WAS ALWAYS ON ME
ABOUT THE DIET,

WAS ALWAYS ON ME ABOUT EATING.

I CAN STILL,
IN THE BACK OF MY HEAD,

HEAR HER YELLING AT ME
TO STOP EATING.

AND IT MADE ME FEEL
LIKE THERE WAS

SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME

AND THAT I WAS A DISAPPOINTMENT
TO MY PARENTS.

THEY HAD WANTED THIS
CUTE LITTLE DAUGHTER,

AND INSTEAD OF SOME CUTE
LITTLE BLONDE DARLING DAUGHTER,

THEY GOT ME.

[ SIGHS ]

I THINK IN THE END,

ALL THIS CONTROL OVER MY FOOD

ACTUALLY HAD
THE OPPOSITE EFFECT,

BECAUSE IT MADE ME WANT
TO EAT EVEN MORE.

SO I WOULD FIND WAYS
TO SNEAK FOOD

WHEN THEY WEREN'T LOOKING,

BECAUSE I NEVER KNEW WHEN MY MOM
WAS GONNA TAKE AWAY MY FOOD.

I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHY SHE TREATED ME LIKE THIS.

I'D EVEN ASK HER
WHY SHE EVEN ADOPTED ME.

DID THEY ADOPT ME
TO BE MEAN TO ME?

IS THAT WHY I WASN'T ALLOWED

TO EAT THE SAME FOOD
AS EVERYONE ELSE?

IS THAT WHY I WAS HUNGRY
ALL THE TIME?

DID YOU ADOPT ME TO STARVE ME?

I ACTUALLY REMEMBER ASKING
MY MOM THAT QUESTION ONCE.

SO, I JUST KEPT TURNING TO FOOD

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
MADE ME FEEL GOOD.

IT WAS COMFORT.
IT WAS LOVE.

AND IT FELT LIKE
IT WAS ALL I HAD.

SO I STARTED GAINING.

AND BY THE TIME I WAS 12,

I WAS ALREADY UP TO 200 POUNDS.

AND IT ONLY GOT WORSE
AS I GOT INTO HIGH SCHOOL.

BECAUSE WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14,

I FOUND OUT
THAT MY MOM HAD CANCER.

AND IT WAS DEVASTATING
TO SEE HER START

TO WITHER AWAY LIKE SHE DID,

AND THE ONLY THING I HAD
TO HELP ME THROUGH THE PAIN

WAS FOOD.

SO BY THE TIME
I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL,

I WAS APPROACHING 300 POUNDS.

**

AND THEN THE YEAR AFTER
I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL,

MY MOM PASSED AWAY.

EMOTIONALLY,
HER PASSING WAS VERY DIFFICULT.

I WAS VERY ANGRY.

I WAS VERY HURT.

BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE
WE NEVER GOT THE CHANCE

TO FIX ANYTHING BETWEEN US.

AND I THINK ON SOME LEVEL,

I WAS ALWAYS HOLDING
OUT HOPE FOR THAT.

BUT I TRIED TO MOVE ON
WITH MY LIFE.

**

IN MY 20s,
I FINALLY WENT TO COLLEGE.

I WENT TO FASHION SCHOOL,

AND I STARTED SELLING
CLOTHES I DESIGNED,

AND IT WAS A GOOD TIME
IN MY LIFE.

I LOVED FASHION.

I LOVED HELPING OTHER WOMEN
FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES.

AND I HAD CUTE CLOTHES
AND I LOOKED HOT,

AND I KNEW IT.

BUT THERE WAS STILL THIS ACHE
INSIDE ME.

THE EATING MADE ME
FORGET ABOUT IT.

**

SO I WAS STILL SLOWLY GAINING,

BUT I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE MY WEIGHT
WAS HOLDING ME BACK AT ALL.

UNTIL THAT CHANGED ONE NIGHT,

WHEN I FELL,
AND I HURT MY KNEE REALLY BAD.

**

SO WITH THAT INJURY
AND MY WEIGHT,

I WASN'T ABLE TO DO
MY JOB ANYMORE

AND HAD TO QUIT,

BUT I STILL HAD
TO MAKE A LIVING,

SO I TURNED TO
PLUS-SIZE MODELING.

AND AT THAT POINT, MY WEIGHT
BECAME SOMETHING POSITIVE.

**

AND THERE WAS NO NEED TO DIET
OR TRY TO KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL.

SO OVER THE NEXT DECADE,

I STOPPED EVEN KEEPING
TRACK OF MY WEIGHT.

**

BUT ABOUT THE TIME I TURNED 40,

MY HEALTH STARTED
TO GET REALLY BAD,

SO I WENT
TO A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,

AND I WEIGHED IN AT 444.

I HAD NEVER WEIGHED
SO MUCH BEFORE,

AND IT JUST WAS LIKE,
"OH, MY GOD.

NOW WHAT DO WE DO?"

**

SO AT THAT POINT, I WAS RESOLVED
TO GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL

AND TO DO WHATEVER I NEEDED
TO LOSE IT ALL.

BUT I STARTED WORKING OUT
AND BROKE MY FOOT.

SO AT THAT POINT,
I WAS WORSE THAN EVER

BECAUSE I COULDN'T
GET AROUND AT ALL NOW.

**

AND BECAUSE OF THAT
AND HOW I WAS STILL GAINING,

I STARTED TO DEVELOP
THESE LARGES MASSES ON MY LEG

THAT TURNED OUT
TO BE LYMPHEDEMA,

AND IT JUST MADE IT
MORE IMPOSSIBLE TO GET AROUND.

**

SO BY THE TIME I WAS 45,

I WAS OVER 500 POUNDS.

BUT WHEN I WAS 50,

MY DAD GOT CANCER
AND PASSED AWAY.

**

AT THAT POINT, ANY DESIRE I HAD
TO GET MY EATING UNDER CONTROL

JUST WENT OUT THE WINDOW.

IN THAT TIME,
I WAS AN EMOTIONAL WRECK,

AND I DID THE ONLY THING
I KNEW HOW TO DO,

WHICH WAS TAKE FOOD
AND STUFF IT DOWN

'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT
TO DEAL WITH IT.

**

SO ALL I DID WAS EAT
FOR THE NEXT FIVE YEARS,

UNTIL I GOT UP TO THE 600s,

AND NOW I LIVE ALONE,

AND I SPEND JUST ABOUT
EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY

EITHER EATING OR GETTING FOOD.

I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO HELP ME,

AND PEOPLE DON'T COME
TO SEE ME VERY MUCH,

SO I HAVE TO FEND FOR MYSELF.

BUT I CAN ONLY GO THE DISTANCE
MY SCOOTER CAN TAKE ME.

SO I DON'T GO FAR.

AND IT'S EMBARRASSING BECAUSE
I KNOW EVERYONE'S LOOKING AT ME

AND PROBABLY MAKING COMMENTS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE
I'M A FREAK SHOW...

BASICALLY, I GUESS.

WOMAN: Hi.
How may I help you?

HI, YEAH.
I'D LIKE A 20 PIECE NUGGETS,

LARGE FRIES,
A LARGE DR. PEPPER.

OKAY, JUST DRIVE
TO THE FIRST WINDOW.

THANK YOU.

THEY USED TO HAVE
THOSE SIDESHOWS

WHERE YOU'D GO AND PAY 10 CENTS
TO SEE THE FAT LADY, WELL...

-HELLO.
-HI.

...NOW ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS

WAIT AND SEE
IF I LEAVE MY APARTMENT,

SO I JUST TRY TO GET MY FOOD

AND GET HOME AS QUICKLY
AS POSSIBLE...

**

...BECAUSE ONCE THAT FOOD
IS IN MY MOUTH,

THE REST OF THE WORLD
JUST FADES AWAY.

**

THIS IS NOT HOW MY LIFE
IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

I SHOULDN'T BE SITTING
ON THAT SCOOTER.

I SHOULDN'T BE SITTING
IN THIS BED.

**

I AM VERY TIRED
OF HOW MY LIFE IS RIGHT NOW.

**

HEY, SWEET PEA.

AND I JUST CAN'T LIVE
LIKE THIS ANYMORE.

I JUST CAN'T.

**

[ Voice breaking ] I NEED
THINGS TO CHANGE SO MUCH...

**

...BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'M A TICKING TIME BOMB.

**

AND IF I DON'T MAKE

A HUGE AND DRASTIC CHANGE
TO MY LIFE...

[ GROANS ]

...I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA BE
AROUND MUCH LONGER.

**

**

**

Janine: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR
THIS DAY FOR A COUPLE WEEKS NOW.

I AM GOING TO SEE
DR. NOWZARADAN,

TO SEE IF WE CAN FIND
A WEIGHT-LOSS SOLUTION FOR ME.

**

MY APPOINTMENT IS TOMORROW,

AND IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME

SINCE I'VE GONE ON A JOURNEY
LIKE THIS,

SO I KNOW THIS IS
GONNA BE HARD.

YOU BETTER MOVE.

COME ON.

IT'S TIME TO GO.

[ GROANS ]

[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

I AM TAKING A PLANE TO TEXAS,

AND I KNOW I CAN'T TAKE
MY SCOOTER ON THE PLANE,

SO THAT'S MAKING ME NERVOUS,

AND I KNOW I CAN'T
DO THIS ALONE,

**

SO I PUT OUT AN ONLINE AD
TO PAY FOR SOMEONE TO HELP ME

MAKE THE TRIP TO HOUSTON,

AND A REALLY NICE GUY
NAMED JONATHAN RESPONDED,

SO HE'S BEEN HELPING ME A LOT.

I THOUGHT THAT HAD
TWO SIDES TO IT.

IT DOESN'T, HUH?
-YEAH, IT DID.

-OH, IT DOES?
-YEAH.

I PUT MY STUFF THERE
ON THE BOTTOM,

AND YOU CAN PUT
YOUR STUFF AT THE TOP.

OH, OKAY.

SEE, YOU GOT
A WHOLE 'NOTHER...

SEE, YOU HAVE A WHOLE
NOTHER SIDE TO IT.

IT'S A REAL NICE SUITCASE.
-YEAH, IT IS.

IT'S LIKE DOUBLE-SIDE,
SO...

OKAY.
COOL DEAL.

Jonathan: I AGREED TO GO WITH
JANINE 'CAUSE I WANT TO HELP HER

GET TO THE POINT
WHERE SHE WANTS TO BE,

SO I'M GOING TO REALLY HELP
JANINE PACK HER CLOTHES

AND WHATEVER ELSE
SHE NEEDS ME TO DO.

Janine: I KNOW IT'S NOT
THE BEST OPTION, TO PAY SOMEONE,

BUT IT'S MY ONLY OPTION
RIGHT NOW.

I ASKED MY BROTHERS
AND THEIR WIVES

IF THERE WAS ANY WAY THAT

THEY COULD COME UP
AND HELP ME DO THIS,

BUT THEY HAVE FAMILIES
AND LIVES,

AND THEY JUST CAN'T HELP ME
RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S ABOUT IT, HUH?

I THINK SO.

RIGHT ON.

ALL RIGHT.

WE HAVE A FLIGHT FIRST THING
IN THE MORNING,

SO JONATHAN'S STAYING THE NIGHT.

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA
STAY THE NIGHT IN HOUSTON

AND FLY BACK.

AND SO IT'S GONNA BE
A REALLY LONG TWO DAYS.

JUST GONNA GO BACK
IN MY ROOM.

YEAH, I GOT YOU.

**

I JUST HOPE THAT I DON'T
END UP REGRETTING THIS.

**

BUT I'M TRYING NOT
TO GIVE INTO THE FEAR

AND NOT GET TOO OVERWHELMED.

**

'CAUSE IF I DO,
AND I CHICKEN OUT TOMORROW,

I KNOW I'M DONE FOR.

AND I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.

WE'LL PACK YOU UP ANOTHER TIME.

**

I WAS PRETTY RESTLESS
LAST NIGHT.

I JUST HAVE TOO MUCH
RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND

ABOUT WHAT CAN GO WRONG
AND HOW HARD THIS IS GONNA BE,

BECAUSE THIS ONE OF THE MOST
IMPORTANT TRIPS OF MY LIFE.

SO, WE GOT EVERYTHING?

YES.

**

I KNOW MY BODY'S
NOT GONNA HANDLE EVERYTHING

I'M GONNA PUT IT THROUGH TODAY,

BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE IT'S TIME.
JUST SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.

IT'S TIME TO GO.
GOT TO GET THIS DONE.

**

I'VE TRIED SO MANY THINGS
TO GET MY WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL,

AND EVERY SINGLE THING
HAS FAILED,

SO I KNOW THAT THIS IS,

QUITE LITERALLY,
MY LAST CHANCE

TO GET THE HELP I NEED
TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND.

SO I CAN'T FAIL AT THIS.

BUT RIGHT NOW, I'M SO NERVOUS

THAT MY HEART IS JUST ABOUT
POUNDING OUT OF MY CHEST.

WHATEVER IT TAKES,
I CAN'T LET ANYTHING STOP ME.

**

I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT
ON THE PLANE,

AND I CAN CALM DOWN.

BUT UNTIL THEN,

I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
LIKE A FREAK SHOW.

AND EVERYONE'S GONNA STARE AT ME

AND POINT AT THE LARGE WOMAN
WHO CAN'T WALK FOR HERSELF.

**

IT'S ONE OF THE REASONS
I HARDLY GO OUT ANYWHERE.

BECAUSE I HATE
WHEN PEOPLE STARE.

**

IT'S HUMILIATING,

AND I'M SCARED OUT OF MY MIND
RIGHT NOW.

**

I'M ON THE FLIGHT TO HOUSTON?

AND I GOT MY SCOOTER
AND NEED TO PRE-BOARD AND...

**

I'M JUST HOPING THAT I CAN GET
DOWN THE AISLE OF THE PLANE

AND GET TO MY SEAT, SO...

THAT'S MY BIGGEST CONCERN
RIGHT NOW.

OKAY.

**

[ Straining ]
OH, GOD! OH, GOD!

OH, JESUS!
-WANT ME TO TAKE HER?

OH, GOD.

I JUST NEED SOMETHING
RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT THERE
ON THE LEFT.

OKAY.

GOT IT?

I CAN'T DO THIS.
I CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU'VE GOT THIS.
YOU'VE GOT THIS.

[ SOBBING ]
YOU'VE GOT THIS.

YOU'RE IN.

YOU'RE IN, OKAY?

YOU'RE IN.

TAKE A BREATH.

OKAY.

I NEED TO GET
INTO MY SEAT.

OKAY.

I NEED TO GET MY SEAT.

EVEN IF IT'S BABY STEPS,
WE CAN DO THIS, OKAY?

OKAY.

THERE'S A BAR
RIGHT THERE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

OH, GOD.

WANT TO TAKE A BREATH?

-YOU'RE ALMOST THERE.
-I'M ALMOST THERE.

**

OH GOD, PLEASE DON'T...

OH, JESUS, HELP ME.

[ PANTING ]

OH, GOD.
OKAY.

ARE YOU READY TO TURN
A LITTLE BIT?

YEAH.

OH GOD, IT HURTS.

OH, MY GOD!

IT HURTS SO BAD.

OH!

[ GROANS ]

IT ALL JUST HURTS.

THIS IS A NO-GO.

I'M GOING HOME.

I'M GOING HOME.
I CAN'T DO THIS.

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

[ SOBBING ]

OH, GOD.

**

CAN I SIT NOW?
-YEAH.

[ SIGHS DEEPLY ]

-OKAY, IS THAT GOOD?
-I HAVE TO GET OFF THIS PLANE.

OH, HELP ME, JESUS.
OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE.

OH, GOD.
-ARE YOU OKAY?

Janine: I SCRAPED
MY KNEE PRETTY BAD.

**

**

I DID THE BEST THAT I COULD DO.

IT JUST WASN'T ENOUGH.

**

MY BODY JUST IS DONE.

IT JUST CAN'T DO ANY MORE.

AND I'M JUST IN SO
MUCH PAIN RIGHT NOW.

IT FEELS LIKE MY BODY
IS STARTING TO SHUT DOWN.

AND I'M TERRIFIED THIS
IS GONNA BE IT FOR ME.

**

**

**

**

Janine: THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE
OF TRYING TO GET ON THE PLANE

AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED

WAS PRETTY MUCH MY WORST FEAR
COME TO LIFE.

**

AND THAT WAS ONE OF
THE MOST PAINFUL

AND HUMILIATING EXPERIENCES
I'VE EVER HAD.

I KNEW IT WAS
GONNA BE HARD,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS GONNA BE THAT HARD.

I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF

THAT I LET MY BODY GET SO BAD

I COULDN'T EVEN GO GET
THE HELP I NEED.

IT'S JUST...
IT'S A REAL WAKE-UP CALL

THAT I NEED TO JUST BE
REALLY FOCUSED ON MY HEALTH.

**

BUT I'M SCARED
I'M JUST OUT OF OPTIONS.

BECAUSE I DON'T SEE
HOW MEETING DR. NOW IS

GONNA HELP AT THIS POINT.

I CAN'T GET ON A PLANE.

AND AS DEPRESSED
AS I AM ABOUT THAT,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE
I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

**

OH, MY DONE.

I DON'T THINK THERE'S MUCH HOPE
FOR ME AT THIS POINT.

**

**

LET'S GO THIS WAY.

IT TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE
TO GET OVER THE INCIDENT

THAT HAPPENED ON THE PLANE.

**

I JUST STARTED HAVING
A PANIC ATTACK

BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T MAKE
MY BODY MOVE ANY FURTHER.

**

NONE FOR YOU.

**

AND THE HARDER I TRIED,
THE WORSE IT GOT.

SO I WAS WORRIED THAT
I HAD PUSHED MY BODY TOO FAR

TRYING TO GET ON THAT PLANE.

I MEAN, I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN SO MUCH PAIN

IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

IT WAS PHYSICALLY
VERY DEMANDING,

EMOTIONALLY VERY DEMANDING.

MMM-MMM-MMM.

OOH, THAT'S GOOD STUFF.

[ Voice breaking ] I'VE NEVER
EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

I NEVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE
ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.

EVER.

**

SO I'VE BEEN RESEARCHING
AND TRYING TO FIND OTHER OPTIONS

SINCE GOING TO HOUSTON
IS OUT OF THE QUESTION.

BUT I HAVEN'T FOUND ANYTHING

THAT I THINK WILL WORK
FOR ME YET.

**

I KNOW I'M STILL
ON A TICKING CLOCK

AND THAT EVERY DAY THAT PASSES,

IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER FOR ME
TO DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF.

**

EVER WANTED TO KNOW
HOW A FAT WOMAN WIPES HER ASS?

THIS IS HOW.

SO IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME
BEFORE I NO LONGER

AM GOING TO BE ABLE
TO EVEN GET UP.

**

BIG BUTT'S COMING --
YOU GOT TO GO.

AND AFTER THAT,

I'M JUST GONNA BE
TRAPPED HERE ALONE,

JUST WAITING TO DIE.

ALL RIGHT.

**

SO I KNOW I HAVE
TO FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

BECAUSE I CAN FEEL MY BODY
GETTING WORSE,

AND I DON'T THINK I'LL BE ABLE
TO SURVIVE MUCH LONGER.

**

[ SIGHS ]

**

**

**

DR. NOW'S OFFICE HAS TRIED
TO RESCHEDULE WITH ME.

BUT I KNOW
I CAN'T MAKE THE TRIP,

SO I'VE AGREED TO DO
A VIDEO CALL WITH HIM.

I WANT TO HEAR
WHAT HE HAD TO SAY

AND SEE IF WE CAN WORK TOGETHER.

**

I KNOW I STILL NEED HELP,

AND SINCE I CAN'T
MAKE IT TO HOUSTON,

I'VE BEEN THINKING,

MAYBE HE KNOWS SOMEONE HERE
THAT COULD HELP ME,

OR HE COULD TELL ME
WHAT I NEED TO DO

TO START LOSING WEIGHT.

JUST AS LONG AS
IT DOESN'T INVOLVE ME

TRYING TO GET
ON A PLANE AGAIN.

THERE IS JUST NO WAY
ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH

I'M PUTTING MYSELF
THROUGH THAT AGAIN,

BECAUSE I KNOW I WON'T
SURVIVE IT A SECOND TIME.

**

SO IF DR. NOW SO MUCH
AS MENTIONS THE IDEA,

THE CALL WILL BE OVER.

SO THE BALL'S IN HIS COURT.

HE CAN EITHER HELP ME,

OR LET ME DIE.

[ Ringing ]

**

**

Janine: I KNOW THAT MY BODY
HAS BEEN GETTING WORSE

AND WORSE THESE PAST TWO MONTHS,

SO I WANT DR. NOW TO HELP ME.

BUT ALL I KNOW IS

THAT I CAN'T GO TO HOUSTON,

SO ANY OPTIONS HE PUSHES
WITH THAT INVOLVED

ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION.

AND IF HE PUSHES THAT,
THEN AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO DISCUSS,
AND THE CONVERSATION IS OVER.

[ Ringing ]

Hi, Janine.
I'm Dr. Nowzaradan.

How you doing today?

I'M DOING OKAY.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.

It is nice to finally
meet you, too.

First thing's first,

let me ask you
a couple questions.

So, what happened?

Why did you miss
your appointment?

WELL, IT WAS ACTUALLY
REALLY AWFUL.

I TRIED TO GET ON THE PLANE,
AND I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.

I JUST STARTED HAVING
A PANIC ATTACK SO BAD,

AND EVERYTHING WAS HURTING
SO BAD, I JUST...

THEY HAD TO CALL THE PARAMEDICS
AND TAKE ME OFF THE PLANE.

SO WHAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM
COMING TO HOUSTON RIGHT NOW?

WELL, I'D HAVE TO GET BACK
ON THE PLANE, I GUESS.

AND THERE'S NO WAY
I CAN PHYSICALLY DO IT,

SO IT'S JUST NOT
AN OPTION.

Okay, slow down.

Before you tell me
what you think

your options are
or aren't,

let's take a step back
and discuss a couple things

before you draw lines
in the sand.

Can you do that for me?

YES, OKAY.

Okay, first thing's first.

Let me ask you
a couple questions

to explain
something to you.

OKAY.

Do you know
how much you weigh?

LAST TIME I WEIGHED,
I THINK I WAS 629.

And how old are you now?

JUST TURNED 54.

Okay, Janine, what you
need to understand

is at your age
and your weight,

your longevity is not very long,
you know that?

YES, SIR.

I TOTALLY GET IT.

I don't think you do
completely.

Janine, the reason
I took your case

was that someone
in your situation

will likely suffer
a life-threatening event

within a year.

For example, you're going to
suffer cardiac arrest one night

and that will be it.

That's your future,
and it's going to happen soon.

And if you understood that,

you wouldn't be playing around
like you are.

UNDERSTOOD.

So you need to come down here
as soon as possible.

When can you come?

I'M NOT SURE. UH...

I MEAN, I DO WANT TO DO IT --
IT'S JUST...

TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT
THE BEST THING IS FOR ME TO DO.

This is very serious.

You said it yourself --
you suffered a panic attack.

It was your fear
that held you back.

YEAH.

And every day that passes,

your window
to get help is shorter,

And you'll be
too far gone physically.

The more weight you gain,
the bigger you get,

there will be more danger
in travelling, too.

So this danger is not
gonna go away.

YEAH.

This is your last chance

before your situation gets
any worse, okay?

So now do you think
you can come to visit?

YES, OKAY.

Okay, you've got
a long way to go.

The sooner we start,
the sooner we get you there.

SO YOU'RE MY DOCTOR NOW,
YEAH?

100%.

You take this leap of faith
and stick to the program,

then we will do everything
we can to help you.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU SAY I CAN DO THIS,
THEN I BELIEVE YOU.

SO I WILL DO IT.

All right, Janine,
I will send you a diet

and I want you
to start on it immediately.

I look forward to seeing you
in Houston, okay?

THANK YOU, DR. NOWZARADAN.
APPRECIATE YA.

All right,
we'll see you then.

OKAY,
HAVE A GOOD EVENING.

BUH-BYE.

Buh-bye.

**

Janine: IT WAS REALLY HARD TO
HEAR HIM SAY SOME OF THE THINGS

THAT HE THINKS
ABOUT MY HEALTH SITUATION.

HE FEELS MY SITUATION

IS VERY URGENT.

THOSE ARE KINDA SCARY WORDS.

SO AFTER HEARING DR. NOW OUT,

I'M MORE SCARED NOW TO STAY HERE
AND RISK DYING EVERY DAY

THAN TRYING TO GO TO HOUSTON.

BECAUSE WHAT DR. NOW IS SAYING,
I FEEL IT EVERY DAY.

SO I KNOW THAT
I NEED TO GET THE WEIGHT OFF

AND GET THE HECK
OUT OF THIS CHAIR.

BUT IT'S GONNA TAKE A LOT.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M GONNA
GET OUT OF THIS CHAIR,

BUT I'VE GOT TO TRY --

I'VE GOT TO DO IT.

SO I'M GOING TO DO
EVERYTHING IN MY POWER,

WHATEVER IT TAKES,

SO THAT I CAN GET ON THAT PLANE.

BECAUSE THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE.

**

**

AFTER TALKING TO DR. NOW
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO,

I SAW HOW COMMITTED HE
WAS TO HELPING ME

AND HOW MUCH
HE WANTED ME TO DO THIS.

BUT I REALIZED, EVEN IF
I'M ABLE TO GET TO HOUSTON,

THEN THERE'S NO WAY I CAN
MAKE THE TRIP BACK TO SEATTLE

AND THEN HAVE TO DO IT
ALL OVER AGAIN.

-HI.
-HI!

SO, I THINK THE GUYS
PRETTY MUCH HAVE EVERYTHING

READY TO ROLL FOR YOU
OUT THERE.

YOU WANT TO THROW
A COUPLE BOXES MY WAY,

AND THEN I'LL WORK ON IN HERE.

ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL GET STARTED NOW.

OKAY, THANKS!

SO I TOLD DR. NOW I NEED

A LITTLE MORE TIME
TO GET DOWN THERE

BECAUSE I'M GOING
TO MAKE IT PERMANENT.

HE TOLD ME THAT HE UNDERSTOOD
AND THAT THAT WAS FINE,

AS LONG AS I DIDN'T
TAKE TOO LONG

AND I STARTED TO GET
MY EATING UNDER CONTROL

WITH THE DIET HE SENT ME.

SO TODAY, I'M PACKING UP
TO MOVE TO HOUSTON,

AND THEN TONIGHT,

I'M HEADED TO THE AIRPORT
TO TRY AGAIN.

**

KNOWING THAT THIS IS
A ONE-WAY TRIP FOR ME

IS GONNA KEEP ME MOTIVATED
TO DO THIS.

BECAUSE IF I FAIL,
I HAVE NOTHING TO COME BACK TO.

MY STUFF WILL BE
ON THE WAY HOUSTON.

SO I EITHER DO THIS,

OR I HAVE NO PLACE TO GO.

BUT THIS WHOLE PROCESS
HAS BEEN STRESSFUL

FOR A LOT OF REASONS.

WHAT DO I NEED TO TAKE?
WHAT DO I LEAVE BEHIND?

AND JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT LIFE IS GONNA BE LIKE

IN A TOTALLY DIFFERENT STATE.

SO THERE ARE MOMENTS WHERE

I, HONESTLY, DON'T KNOW
IF I'M GONNA MAKE IT,

BUT I CAN'T ALLOW MY EMOTIONS
TO GET THE BEST OF ME AGAIN.

I'VE HAVE TO STAY IN CONTROL,

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'LL GET
A THIRD CHANCE AFTER THIS.

SO I'M TAKING
A HUGE LEAP OF FAITH

THAT THIS IS ALL GONNA WORK OUT.

**

I'M NOWHERE NEAR
READY TO DO THIS...

**

...AND THERE'S A BIG PART OF ME

THAT'S FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

**

LIKE, "WHAT AM I DOING?

THIS IS INSANE.

I'VE ALREADY TRIED THIS
AND FAILED."

**

I'M JUST HOPING IT'S NOT
GONNA BE CATASTROPHIC.

BECAUSE JONATHAN
CAN'T COME WITH ME.

AND WHEN I GET TO THE AIRPORT,
I'M COMPLETELY ON MY OWN.

SO I'M JUST TRYING TO STAY

CALM AND IN CONTROL.

BUT I HAVE A FRIEND DRIVING ME,

SO I'M GRATEFUL TO
AT LEAST HAVE THAT HELP.

OH, GOD.
HELP ME, JESUS.

'CAUSE IF I LOSE IT AGAIN
AND HAVE ANOTHER PANIC ATTACK,

I COULD PUT MY BODY
IN A POSITION

WHERE IT'S OVEREXTENDING
PHYSICALLY.

AND AT THAT POINT,

IT'S NOT JUST MY LAST CHANCE
I'M GOING TO LOSE...

IT COULD BE MY LIFE.

**

**

**

Janine: IT WAS SUCH AN EPIC FAIL

THE LAST TIME I TRIED
TO GET TO HOUSTON.

**

AND TODAY, I'M EITHER
GOING TO DO THIS

AND GRAB AHOLD
OF THE ONLY HOPE I HAVE LEFT,

OR I'M GONNA FAIL AGAIN,
AND THEN I'M DONE.

SO I CAN'T LET MY EMOTIONS,

OR ANY PAIN, OVERWHELM ME.

**

OKAY, I CAN DO THIS.

I CAN HANDLE LOTS OF PEOPLE.

MOVE ON --
LET'S MOVE ON, PLEASE.

IS THIS CHECKPOINT FIVE?

CHECKPOINT FIVE IS
RIGHT DOWN THAT WAY.

**

THE ONE RAY OF HOPE IN ALL THIS

IS THAT I MANAGED TO CONVINCE
MY SISTER-IN-LAW, SUSAN,

TO FLY FROM DENVER
AND MEET ME IN HOUSTON

TO, AT LEAST,
HELP ME GET MOVED IN.

BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY
I CAN GET SET UP BY MYSELF,

SO I'M REALLY THANKFUL
SHE'S DOING THIS FOR ME.

I JUST HAVE TO GET TO HOUSTON.

**

OOH-WEE.

I CAN HANDLE THIS.

EVERYTHING'S FINE.

OKAY...

I'M JUST SCARED ABOUT
TRANSFERRING TO THAT THING.

YEAH.

OKAY.

OH, GOD.

[ INHALES SHARPLY ]

OOH.

CAN I HELP TOO,
IF THAT'LL HELP A LITTLE BIT.

YEAH.

[ GROANS ]

OH, MY GOODNESS.

HOLD ON.

SORRY. THERE WE GO.
-I'M SORRY.

OKAY.

OH, [BLEEP].

OKAY. SORRY.

-YOU ALL RIGHT?
-YOU OKAY?

Janine: ALL RIGHT.

[ SCREAMS ]

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE'VE GOT YOU.

NO, WE'VE GOT YOU.

I KNOW, IT'S JUST...

-WE'VE GOT YOU.
-I CAN'T DO THIS!

[ WHEEZING ]

OH, MY GOD.

JUST SLOWLY.

WATCH YOUR ARM
ON THAT SIDE.

YEAH.

AND ON THAT SIDE.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT,
HERE WE GO.

OH, GOD.
YOU GOT IT.

OKAY.

I JUST WANT TO GET IN THAT SEAT.

WE WANT TO BE CAREFUL.

YEAH, WE DO.

OKAY.

OKAY,
GO IN THAT WAY.

THERE WE GO.

OH, GOD.
YOU DID GOOD.

I'M IN.

I CAN'T.

**

-WE'LL DO IT TOGETHER.
-WE GOT YOU.

-ONE, TWO, THREE.
-THERE WE GO.

Man: ALL RIGHT,
ARE WE GOOD?

THIS IS SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
I'M NOT GONNA MAKE THIS.

SERIOUSLY.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

Woman:
GENERAL BOARDING.

THANK YOU.
YOU HAVE A GOOD FLIGHT.

OH, THANK GOD.

I CAN HANDLE THIS FROM HERE...

I HOPE.

**

**

[ SOBBING ]

THIS HURTS SO BAD.

I DON'T KNOW IF I'M GONNA
BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

**

I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

**

WE'RE GONNA START
DESCENDING SOON.

I CAN'T DO IT.

I HAVE ONE STOP IN DALLAS
BEFORE THEY GO ON TO HOUSTON,

AND I HAVE TO GET OFF HERE.

IT'S SO TIGHT.

**

**

...FOR RENTAL.

HEY, JUST BREATHE.

I NEED TO GO
TO A HOSPITAL.

[ Voice breaking ]
I APPRECIATE YA.

**

OH GOD, THAT HURTS.

OH, AND I'M FALLING
OFF THE SEAT.

WE GOT YOU.
WE GOT YOU.

I SWEAR TO GOD,
I'M FALLING.

-WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU GO.
I'M FALLING.

-WE GOT YOU.
-WE'RE NOT GONNA LET YOU GO.

-JANINE, WE GOT YOU.
-I'M IN PAIN.

-LET ME KNOW IF IT HURTS.
-...TWO, THREE.

[ ALL STRAINING ]

ONE, TWO, THREE.

Janine:
I JUST CAN'T.

TRY IT SIDEWAYS.

ONE, TWO, THREE, PUSH.

-HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
-OW, OW, OW.

Man: THERE IT GOES.
THERE IT GOES.

**

ONE, TWO, THREE.

Man #2: COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON.

[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]

-THERE WE GO.
-WE'RE ON THERE.

**

[ INDISTINCT CHATTER ]

**

I'M SO HUMILIATED.

[ Voice breaking ] I FEEL
LIKE A FAILURE AGAIN.

E.M.T.: LET'S SEE
WHEN WE GET OUT THERE.

Y'ALL THINK WE CAN
GET HER IN THE BACK?

AND I'M SCARED OUT
OF MY MIND RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

OR WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME.

**

I'M DISAPPOINTED
WITH MYSELF.

I JUST COULDN'T
HANDLE THE PAIN.

I'M SO SORRY.
I WANTED TO DO IT.

I WANTED TO DO IT SO BAD.

**

I JUST COULDN'T.

AND NOW I'VE PROBABLY LOST

THE ONLY CHANCE I HAD
TO GET HELP.

**

**

**

Janine: IT'S BEEN REALLY SCARY

BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE
HERE IN DALLAS

TO HELP ME.

BUT I CALLED MY SISTER-IN-LAW
WHO WAS FLYING TO HOUSTON,

AND SHE WAS ABLE TO GET
ON ANOTHER FLIGHT

TO COME UP HERE EARLY
THIS MORNING TO BE WITH ME.

AND SHE ALSO HAS BEEN TRYING
TO SEE WHAT OPTIONS I HAVE

AND WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
TO GET ME TO HOUSTON.

AND I'M SO THANKFUL
FOR HER DOING THAT.

JUST KNOWING I HAVE
SOMEONE HERE WITH ME

IS A NICE COMFORT
TO ME RIGHT NOW.

[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]

COME IN.

HI, JAN!

HEY, SUSAN!

HOW ARE YOU?

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU.

GOOD TO SEE YOU!

YOU FEELING OKAY?

I'M WAY BETTER.
THANK YOU.

GOOD.

MY LEG JUST SWELLED UP
SO MUCH ON THE PLANE

THAT IT JUST KEPT

KINDA PUSHING ME
OFF THE SEAT,

AND THEN I JUST --

I DON'T KNOW,
I JUST LOST MY ENERGY.

I DON'T THINK I HAD
ENOUGH TO EAT YESTERDAY,

AND SO I JUST...

IT WAS REALLY SCARY,
AND I JUST...

I FELT BECAUSE MY FEET
WERE SO BIG, I JUST...

JUST NOT ENOUGH ROOM.

WELL, THEY ARRANGED
A TRANSPORT

TO TAKE US FROM HERE
TO HOUSTON.

OKAY.

Janine: I COULDN'T
DO THIS ALONE,

AND I'M GRATEFUL BECAUSE
I, AT LEAST, HAVE THIS OPTION.

BUT I JUST KNOW IT'S GONNA BE
A REALLY LONG DRIVE.

**

**

[ BEEPING ]

Janine: I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE
PAINFUL AND DIFFICULT FOR ME,

JUST, HOPEFULLY,
NOT AS BAD AS THE PLANE.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MY BODY'S
GONNA HANDLE IT.

**

SO THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY
SCARING ME RIGHT NOW.

I JUST HAVE TO MAKE IT THROUGH
THE NEXT FIVES HOURS,

AND THEN I'M GOOD.

THANK YOU, GUYS!

YOU JUST WANT
TO SIT THERE?

**

**

I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO,

BUT THEY'RE TAKING ME
TO A HOTEL IN HOUSTON.

WE DECIDED
SINCE I'LL PROBABLY BE

IN A GOOD BIT OF PAIN
WHEN I GET THERE,

TO TRY AND STAY
IN A HOTEL TONIGHT,

GO SEE DR. NOW IN THE MORNING,
AND THEN GO TO MY APARTMENT.

SUSAN IS GOING TO HELP ME
GET IT ALL SET UP

BEFORE SHE GOES BACK TO DENVER.

SO, THAT'S THE PLAN.

BUT FOR ME,
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

IS THAT MY SCOOTER IS THERE
WHEN I ARRIVE.

WE HAD IT SENT
TO THE HOTEL EARLIER,

AND I'M JUST REALLY HOPING
IT MAKES IT THERE

BY THE TIME I DO,

BECAUSE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING
OR GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT IT.

[ SUSAN LAUGHS ]

WE FINALLY MADE IT TO HOUSTON,

AND I AM IN A GOOD BIT OF PAIN.

SO I AM VERY GLAD
THAT WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

BUT I'M CONCERNED ABOUT
HOW GETTING OUT IS GONNA WORK,

BECAUSE I AM SO SORE AND STIFF.

IT'S NOT GONNA MATTER, THOUGH,
IF MY SCOOTER'S NOT THERE,

LIKE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

SO THAT'S MY BIGGEST CONCERN
RIGHT NOW.

**

IF IT'S NOT, THERE'S NO WAY

I CAN WALK ALL THE WAY
TO MY ROOM.

**

THEY'LL HAVE TO EITHER CARRY ME
TO THE BED THERE

OR LEAVE ME HERE.

THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION.

SO I'M JUST REALLY ANXIOUS
RIGHT NOW.

**

YEAH.

**

[ ENGINE IDLING ]

READY TO GET IN?

RELEASE.

**

OKAY.

-READY TO SIT.
-YEAH.

[ GROANS ]

OH, GOD.

OKAY. OW.

TWO, THREE.

[ Straining ]
OH, GOD.

OH, GEEZ.

OKAY, L-LET ME GO.

LET ME GO. OKAY.

OH, GOD.

OH! THAT WAS MY KNEE.

AAH! OKAY.

OKAY.

YEAH.

THERE'S NOTHING
TO BRACE AGAINST.

UGH!

OH GOD, OKAY.

I'M ON.

AS GOOD AS
IT'S GONNA GET.

I DON'T NEED TO BE UP.

OKAY, I'M ON.

-I'M ON.
-THANK YOU.

NO PROBLEM.

Susan: OKAY.
THAT'D BE GREAT.

**

Janine: I'M FINALLY ABOUT
TO MAKE IT TO SEE DR. NOW,

AND MY STOMACH IS ALL IN KNOTS.

**

BUT I'M TRYING NOT TO WORRY

ABOUT ALL THE WAYS
THIS COULD GO WRONG.

WELL, UM...

I'M FEELING A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT MEETING HIM,

BUT I'M VERY HOPEFUL THAT,
YOU KNOW,

HE'LL BE ABLE TO HELP ME.

**

I JUST NEED TO GET THERE
AND SEE WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

BECAUSE I'M WALKING
INTO EVERYTHING

COMPLETELY BLIND.

**

JANINE MUELLER?

**

THIS IS REALLY
SCARING ME.

OH, GOD.

OH, GEEZ.

OH, I CAN'T.

COME ON, JAN,
JUST STEP UP.

I C-- [INHALES DEEPLY]

IT'S TOO NARROW.

**

[ GROANS ]

GOD!

IT'S OKAY, JAN.

[ SOBBING ]

**

[ SOBBING ]

OKAY.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT.

[ GROANS ]

**

YOU CAN DO IT, JAN.
COME ON, GET IT UP THERE.

OKAY.

**

**

IT'S SURREAL TO SEE
THAT NUMBER.

OH, GEEZ.
OKAY.

OH, I'M SORRY.

JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE.

[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]

HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

I'M WORSE THAN EVER.

THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

**

MY FEAR RIGHT NOW IS THAT,
SEEING ME IN PERSON,

THE DOCTOR'S GOING
TO TAKE ONE LOOK AT ME

AND TELL ME HE THINKS
THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO.

[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]

**

-HELLO.
-HELLO.

HOW Y'ALL DOING?

GOOD, HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT.

I KNOW IT'S BEEN A VERY
DIFFICULT JOURNEY FOR YOU.

AWFUL.
[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M JUST SO GLAD
TO BE HERE.

WELL, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE FINALLY HERE.

SO, LET'S TALK ABOUT
A COUPLE THINGS.

OKAY.

YOU'RE ACTUALLY BIGGER

THAN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE
ON OUR CALL.

YOU'RE 678.

AND AT 5'3",

YOU'RE, ESSENTIALLY,
550 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.

GOOD LORD. OKAY.

WE DISCUSSED HOW CLOSE TO DEATH
YOU ARE IN THIS STATE,

BUT YOU CLEARLY DIDN'T START
THE DIET I SENT YOU.

SO WE NEED TO GET
YOUR COMPULSION

UNDER CONTROL NOW.

BUT WHAT'S DRIVING YOU
TO EAT?

A LOT OF TIMES,
IT'S 'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.

BUT THEN THERE ARE
OTHER TIMES

WHERE, UM...
IT'S LIKE A HABIT THING.

AND THEN, OF COURSE,
IF THERE'S STRESS INVOLVED,

THEN YEAH,
CHOCOLATE HAPPENS.

OKAY, YOU'RE GOING
TO READ AND FOLLOW

THE 1,200-CALORIE- A-DAY DIET
THAT I'M GIVING YOU AGAIN.

YES.

AND YOU'RE GOING
TO STICK TO IT,

AS WELL AS START TO GET UP
AND OUT OF THIS SCOOTER.

YES, SIR.

YOU'RE PRETTY MUCH IMMOBILE
AT THIS POINT.

SO ALL THESE FACTORS TOGETHER
MAKES SURGERY

FAR TOO RISKY
TO PERFORM ON YOU.

AND YOU ARE NOT
GONNA BE APPROVED

UNLESS YOU LOSE
AT LEAST 100 POUNDS, OKAY?

-OOH. OKAY.
-OKAY?

MOST EVERYBODY
AT YOUR WEIGHT

CAN LOSE THAT
IN TWO MONTHS.

OKAY.

WE HAVE A LOT OF WORK
TO DO WITH JANINE.

BECAUSE AT HER HEIGHT,
BEING OVER 600 POUNDS IS

COMPARABLE TO BEING
OVER 800 POUNDS

FOR SOMEONE OF AVERAGE HEIGHT.

AND THAT COMBINED WITH THE FACT
THAT SHE'S IMMOBILE ALL DAY LONG

MEANS HER BODY IS
IN A VERY WEAKENED STATE,

AND IT IS FAR MORE LIKELY
SHE'S GOING TO DIE

IN THE NEXT SIX MONTHS
THAN IT IS SHE'LL LIVE.

SO IF WE DON'T GET THIS ALL
UNDER CONTROL VERY SOON,

SHE'S NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.

ALL RIGHT, JANINE,
WHEN I SEE YOU NEXT TIME,

I WANT YOU TO BE ABLE
TO GET OUT OF THE SCOOTER

AND WALK IN THIS ROOM,
OKAY?

YES, SIR.
ALL RIGHT.

-THANK YOU.
-MM-HMM.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

LET'S GO.

ALL RIGHT,
LET ME GET THE DOOR.

PLEASE.

**

I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE
STARTED ON HIS DIET BY NOW,

BUT I WAS SO FOCUSED ON THE MOVE
AND TRYING TO GET HERE.

AND NOW THAT I AM,

TO HEAR THOSE WORDS --

LOSE 100 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS?

THAT WAS LIKE A SOCK
IN THE STOMACH.

I NEED HIS HELP
DESPERATELY.

SO AS IMPOSSIBLE AS IT SEEMS,

I HAVE TO TRY.

**

**

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN
DOING WELL THIS PAST MONTH.

TRYING TO GET SETTLED IN
AND FIGURE OUT LIVE IN TEXAS.

AFTER MY LAST APPOINTMENT,

MY SISTER-IN-LAW SUSAN HELPED
ME MOVE INTO MY NEW PLACE,

BUT THEN HAD TO GO BACK HOME.

SO I'M ALL ALONE AGAIN.

BUT SHE SAID
SHE'D TRY TO VISIT SOON

AND THAT MY NIECE WOULD
ALSO COME DOWN TO SEE ME.

SO KNOWING THAT IS
KEEPING ME MOTIVATED.

DR. NOW WANTED ME TO GET UP

AND START WALKING
WITHOUT MY SCOOTER,

BUT MY LYMPHEDEMA PREVENTS ME
FROM BEING ABLE TO DO MUCH,

SO I'M DOING WHAT I CAN TO MOVE
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE IN MY BED.

BUT THE PRESSURE IT PUTS
ON MY KNEE AND LEGS...

THE LYMPHEDEMA MAKES ME
SO UNSTEADY.

SO EVEN WHEN I TRY,

IT FEELS LIKE MY WHOLE LEG

IS ABOUT TO JUMP OFF
THE REST OF MY BODY.

**

AND UNTIL I HAVE
THIS MASS REMOVED,

I'M NOT GOING TO BE
WALKING MUCH.

[ SMACKS LIPS ]
HEY, BABY KITTEN.

SO NOW I'M COMPLETELY RELIANT
ON MY SCOOTER.

THERE'S JUST NO WAY
I COULD DO WITHOUT IT.

I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE IT UP.

BELIEVE ME --
I WISH I COULD.

BUT IT'S BEST THAT
I DON'T PUT MYSELF

THROUGH TOO MUCH PAIN RIGHT.

BECAUSE WHEN I'M
IN A LOT OF PAIN,

I TRY TO DO THINGS
TO DISTRACT MYSELF

FROM THE PAIN.

ONE OF THE THINGS I USED TO DO
WAS I WOULD EAT...OF COURSE.

SOME OF THE THINGS I WOULD EAT
WOULD BE SUGARY THINGS.

OF COURSE, I'VE LEARNED I CAN'T
JUST EAT ANYTHING ANYMORE.

BUT I'M NOT GONNA LIE,
IT'S TOUGH --

REALLY TOUGH.

**

I'M GOING TO SEE
DR. NOWZARADAN TODAY.

AND I'M FEELING
PRETTY GOOD ABOUT IT.

I'M FEELING CHANGES IN MY BODY,

SO I THINK
I'VE LOST SOME WEIGHT.

SO I THINK WE'RE
DOING PRETTY GOOD.

**

I KNOW DR. NOW WANTED ME
TO BE ABLE TO WALK

TO THE EXAM ROOM THIS TIME,

BUT AS HARD AS I TRIED,
I'M NOWHERE NEAR CLOSE TO THAT,

SO I'M HOPING HE DOESN'T
SEE THAT AS A REASON

I'M NOT READY FOR SURGERY YET.

**

'CAUSE I'M TRYING REALLY,
REALLY HARD.

JANINE MUELLER?

**

I FEEL PRETTY CONFIDENT THAT
SOMETHING'S DEFINITELY

GONNA BE DIFFERENT
ON THAT SCALE TODAY.

BUT EVERYONE'S ALWAYS
JUST NERVOUS

BEFORE THEY GET ON THE SCALE,

EVEN WHEN THEY KNOW
THEY'VE DONE WELL.

**

DR. NOW TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED

TO LOSE 100 POUNDS
OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS,

SO I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE BELOW 578 THIS TIME.

OH, DEAR.

OH, GOD.
[ GRUNTS ]

**

JUST STICK ON
SOMETHING GOOD.

I'M DONE.
[ CHUCKLES ]

**

I DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOW THAT'S POSSIBLE.

[ GRUNTS ]

I DID WHAT I WAS
SUPPOSED TO.

**

SO I'M SCARED.

BUT I DON'T THINK
HE'LL YELL AT ME,

SO I'M OKAY.

[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]

-HELLO.
-HELLO.

ALL RIGHT.
SO, YOU'RE AT 663,

WHICH MEANS IN TWO MONTHS,
YOU ONLY LOST 15 POUNDS.

YES, SIR.

SO, HOW YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT?

PRETTY GOOD.

I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.

YOU FEEL PRETTY GOOD
ABOUT THAT?

WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T.

AND YOU'RE STILL NOT
UP AND WALKING.

I REALLY CAN'T DO MUCH
RIGHT NOW.

MY KNEES ARE JUST STILL
REALLY PAINFUL.

YEAH, AND THE LYMPHEDEMA
IS REALLY MAKING

MY RIGHT KNEE WORSE.

LET ME SEE WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

'CAUSE OF THE WAY IT IS.

IT'S LIKE STARTING
TO GET SOFT

AND PRESSES IN
ON MY KNEE JOINT HERE.

MM.

SO I'M GETTING A LOT
OF THE PRESSURE HERE.

AND THEN ALSO UP HERE LIKE AT
THE VERY TOP OF MY GROIN AREA.

BUT YOU'VE GOT SOME INFECTION

BUILT UP BETWEEN
BACK THERE.

OOH, THAT DOESN'T
LOOK THAT GOOD.

IT IS INFECTED.

OH, DEAR.

I DIDN'T EVEN
REALIZE.

LET ME LOOK AT IT
A LITTLE BIT CLOSER, SEE...

YEAH.
THIS IS INFECTED.

**

THERE IS NO EXCUSE
FOR JANINE TO ONLY HAVE LOST

15 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS.

SO SHE'S STILL EATING
WHAT SHE WANTS,

AND CONVINCED HERSELF
THAT'S OKAY

AND THAT SHE'S STILL STICKING
TO THE DIET.

BUT RIGHT, NOW WE NEED TO
ADDRESS HER PHYSICAL CONDITION

SO SHE CAN SURVIVE,

SO I NEED TO ADMIT HER
TO THE HOSPITAL,

NOT JUST TO GET
HER INFECTION UNDER CONTROL,

BUT TO PUT HER
ON A CONTROLLED DIET

SO WE CAN GET HER WEIGHT DOWN.

INSTEAD OF TAKING
THIS OPPORTUNITY

TO START TURNING
YOUR LIFE AROUND,

YOU'RE GETTING WORSE
RAPIDLY.

AND AT THIS POINT,
I'M CONCERNED

YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO SURVIVE
THE NEXT COUPLE MONTHS.

THAT INFECTION ALONE CAN
KILL YOU QUICKLY.

SO I'M ADMITTING YOU
TO THE HOSPITAL TODAY

TO GET YOUR WEIGHT
UNDER CONTROL.

AND WE NEED TO GET THAT
INFECTION CLEARED UP

BEFORE IT GETS ANY WORSE
AND KILLS YOU.

OKAY.

WOULD IT BE FOR LIKE A DAY,

OR JUST FOR A COUPLE HOURS,
OR...?

NO, IT'S GOING TO BE
FOR LONGER.

OKAY, I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT TO DO WITH MY CAT.

THAT'S GONNA BE A PROBLEM.
I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

I'LL HAVE MEDICAL TRANSPORT
COME PICK YOU UP NOW.

OKAY.

I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

**

THIS IS THE VERY LAST THING
I NEEDED TO HEAR RIGHT NOW.

I NEED STUFF FROM HOME
TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
I'M GONNA DO THAT

[Voice breaking] 'CAUSE
I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY HERE.

I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF MY CAT.

BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW I CAN DO THAT.

I'M JUST...
I NEED TO THINK IT THROUGH.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A SOLUTION --
I NEED TO THINK IT THROUGH --

BUT IT'S LIKE...

THIS IS SO HARD,
TO BE BY MYSELF.

SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

**

**

**

Janine: IT WAS A BIG SURPRISE,

HAVING TO COME
TO A HOSPITAL SO QUICK.

BUT THEY GAVE ME
A MEDICAL ASSISTANT

TO HELP GET ME SOME CLOTHES

AND HELP GET MY CAT
BOARDED FOR NOW,

BECAUSE I HAD TO
COME HERE IMMEDIATELY.

[ KNOCKS ON DOOR ]
COME IN.

-HI!
-HEY-O!

IT'S BEEN A BIT OF A WHIRLWIND.

AND I DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW BAD MY LEG WAS.

IF YOU WANT ME TO,
I CAN PULL OUT MY CELL PHONE

AND WE CAN
TAKE A PICTURE OF IT.

AND I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU
AND I'LL DELETE IT.

OKAY, SURE.

JUST SO I KNOW
WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH.

OKAY.

THAT'S MY HAND. OKAY?

SO YOU CAN SEE
HOW THAT IS?

HOLY [BLEEP].

-YEAH.
-I HAD NO IDEA.

SO THAT'S ON THE BACK
OF MY THIGH?

MM-HMM.
IT'S REALLY OPEN.

OH, MY GOD.
I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS SO BAD.

YEAH.

I NEED TO FIND A WAY
TO DEAL WITH THAT.

WELL, THAT'S WHY
YOU'RE HERE, HONEY.

YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING --
YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.

-THANK YOU.
-CALL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

WILL DO.

Janine:
I DON'T LIKE IT HERE,

AND I REALLY FEEL
LIKE THE DIET IS TOO EXTREME

AND THAT I'M BEING
PUSHED TOO HARD

TO DO THINGS
I'M NOT READY FOR.

SO ONCE THEY GET
MY INFECTION CLEARED UP

AND IT'S NO LONGER
ENDANGERING MY LIFE,

I WANT TO GO HOME.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: JANINE
HAS BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL

FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW.

HER HEALTH IS IN A BETTER PLACE,

BUT SHE HAD EVERY EXCUSE
IN THE BOOK

TO FIGHT US ABOUT HER DIET

AND GETTING UP
AND OUT OF HER BED.

AND SOME OF THE THINGS SHE SAYS
SOUND DELUSIONAL.

THE BIGGEST ONE BEING THAT

SHE BELIEVES SHE IS BULIMIC.

BULIMIA IS A SERIOUS CONDITION,

BUT NOT ONE SHE IS
EVEN CLOSE TO HAVING.

SO SHE'S EITHER LYING

OR SHE HAS AN INCREDIBLY ABILITY

TO CONVINCE HERSELF
INTO DELUSIONAL PERSPECTIVES.

EITHER IS A BAD SITUATION.

**

HI, JANINE.

HI, DR. NOWZARADAN.

HOW YOU FEELING TODAY?

BETTER.

OKAY, GREAT.

THEN WE'LL SEE HOW YOUR WEIGHT
IS DOING TODAY,

AND THEN
WE'LL SEND YOU HOME.

OKAY.

BUT YOUR HARD WORK
ISN'T OVER NOW.

WE'RE GOING TO SEND YOU
TO PSYCHOTHERAPY.

I'M EXPECTING THAT YOU WILL HAVE
A GOOD SESSION WITH THERAPY.

YOU STILL THINK
YOU ARE BULIMIC?

WELL, MY PROBLEM IS
I DON'T WANT TO EAT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
THAT IS THE PROBLEM?

THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM,
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT.

IF THAT'S THE CASE,
IT'S AN EXCELLENT PROBLEM.

BUT THAT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

YOU WOULD HAVE
LOST A LOT MORE WEIGHT.

SO IF I DON'T WANT TO EAT,
IT'S NOT A PROBLEM?

JANINE, YOU'RE 54 YEARS
AND YOU'RE 500-PLUS POUNDS,

AND YOU THINK YOU NOT WANTING
TO EAT IS THE PROBLEM?

YOU KEEP SAYING
YOU'RE BULIMIC,

YOU KEEP SAYING
YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT.

SO YOU NEED
TO GIVE UP THAT

AND WORK THROUGH
THESE ISSUES NOW.

ARE YOU EVER GONNA BE ABLE

TO START DOING EXERCISES
AT HOME?

YES.

ARE YOU GONNA WATCH
YOUR DIET

AND STICK
WITH A 1,200-CALORIE DIET?

ABSOLUTELY.

OKAY, YOU NEED TO GET
ALL THIS UNDER CONTROL

AND SHOW ME YOU CAN DO THIS
ON YOUR OWN

IF YOU WANT
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AND OVER
THE NEXT TWO MONTHS,

I WANT YOU TO LOSE ANOTHER
50 POUNDS, OKAY?

CAN WE GET YOU UP
AND CHECK YOUR WEIGHT?

SURE.

THEN YOU CAN GET BACK
ON YOUR SCOOTER

AND THEN HEAD HOME, HUH?

YAY. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

JANINE CAN'T STAY
IN THE HOSPITAL FOREVER.

SO NOW IS THE TIME TO SHOW US
THAT SHE CAN DO THIS.

AND IF SHE DOES, WE'LL DO
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY ON HER.

-ALMOST.
-OKAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
ALL RIGHT, 553.

THE WALKER WEIGHS 8 POUNDS,

SO THAT MEANS THAT'S
YOUR ACTUALLY 545 POUNDS.

OKAY.

OH, YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

I SEE WHERE YOU ARE NOW.

OKAY, I'M THERE.

-YOU THERE?
-ALL RIGHT, I'M THERE.

**

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

**

Janine:
I'M DISAPPOINTED.

I DIDN'T GET SURGERY
WHILE I WAS HERE.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S
A LITTLE RIDICULOUS

THAT I HAVE TO GO HOME
AND KEEP LOSING WEIGHT

TO PROVE TO DR. NOW I'M READY.

BUT IF THAT'S WHAT
HE WANTS ME TO DO,

THEN I'LL DO IT.

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T PUT MYSELF
THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN AND TRIAL

JUST TO NOT GET SURGERY.

**

**

I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN
DOING WELL.

I HAVEN'T MADE IT
TO THERAPY YET,

BUT I'M GOING TO GO SOON.

I JUST WANT TO GET MY ENERGY UP

BEFORE I GO OUT
AND DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

SO I FEEL LIKE THINGS
ARE ON TRACK.

BUT TODAY IS A BIG DAY FOR ME

BECAUSE MY NIECE FLEW
IN TO SEE ME,

AND I'M EXCITED
TO JUST HAVE ANYONE I KNOW.

BUT SHE AND I HAVE BEEN
ESPECIALLY CLOSE.

IT'S BEEN A LITTLE HARD,

BEEN A LITTLE LONELY WITHOUT
HAVING FRIENDS CLOSE BY,

AND I HAVEN'T MADE
THOSE CONNECTIONS HERE YET,

BUT I WILL.

SO, THIS IS A REAL
BIG TREAT FOR ME.

-COME IN.
-HELLO!

HEY!

-HI!
-HI, GIRL!

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!

OH, LOOK HOW PRETTY
YOU LOOK!

AWW! YOU, TOO.

HOW YOU DOING?

-I'M GOOD.
-GOOD.

I FEEL LIKE JAN AND I HAVE
BEEN REALLY CLOSE.

WE LIKE A LOT
OF THE SAME THINGS,

BUT PHYSICALLY, WE'VE NOT
EVER BEEN IN THE SAME PLACE,

AND THAT'S ALWAYS
CAUSED SOME BARRIERS.

DO YOU REMEMBER KIND OF WHAT
THE DOCTOR TOLD YOU

AS FAR AS LIKE EATING?

LIKE WHERE ARE WE AT
WITH THAT

AS FAR AS WHAT'S ALLOWED AND...

WELL, IT WAS SORT OF MORE
LIKE WHAT NOT TO DO,

AS OPPOSED
TO WHAT TO DO.

Janine: I THINK MY NIECE
AND I ARE PRETTY CLOSE.

OUR RELATIONSHIP
IS PRETTY SPECIAL.

AND I HAVEN'T SEEN HER
FOR A WHILE.

I DON'T KNOW IF MY NIECE RACHEL
HAS SEEN ME AT THIS SIZE.

I DON'T THINK SO.

AND DID HE TELL YOU THAT
YOU NEED TO BE EXERCISING?

OR WAS IT JUST ABOUT
THE FOOD RIGHT NOW?

NO, HE TOLD ME I WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE EXERCISING.

WELL, I BET THERE'S
A LOT OF THINGS

WE CAN DO HERE,
IN THE APARTMENT,

THAT WOULD BE
SIMPLE EXERCISES

THAT PROBABLY
AREN'T TOO HARD.

IT'S HARD BECAUSE
I HATE THE FACT

THAT I'M NOT
MOBILE ANYMORE,

THAT I CAN'T WALK AROUND

AND DO ALL THE STUFF
WE USED TO DO.

YOU MISSED
JOHN'S WEDDING.

I KNOW.

AND YOU MISSED...
MY GRADUATIONS.

AND, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE MY AUNT.

LIKE, AND I'M SAD
THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT.

[ Voice breaking ] I JUST WANT
YOU, SO MUCH, TO EXPERIENCE...

MY WEDDING SOME DAY,
AND MIKE'S WEDDING,

AND THE MUELLER BOYS --
THEIR GRADUATIONS.

I MEAN, YOU'RE OUR AUNT.
LIKE, THAT'S WHAT WE WANT.

YOU THERE FOR THERE
FOR THOSE FUN THINGS.

AND WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN
TO HAVE YOU FOR THAT.

Rachel: AUNT JAN TAKING THIS
JOURNEY IS A REALLY BIG STEP,

AND I FELT LIKE IT WAS
REALLY IMPORTANT

TO LET HER KNOW
THAT SHE'S LOVED

AND THAT WE SUPPORT HER 100%,

BUT ALSO
TO HOLD HER ACCOUNTABLE.

YOU READY FOR
SOME EXERCISES?

SURE, WHY NOT.

OKAY, I THINK MAYBE IF
YOU'RE LIKE LAYING DOWN,

AND THEN WE CAN SIT UP,
WE'LL DO FIVE OF THOSE.

-ALL RIGHT.
-WHAT DO YOU THINK?

AND I'LL BE HERE.
-I CAN DO THAT.

Rachel: PHYSICALLY, I'VE NEVER
SEEN HER IN SUCH BAD SHAPE.

I WORRY THAT SHE'S GONNA
FALL OUT OF HER BED

AND NOT BE ABLE TO GET HELP.

I WORRY ABOUT HER RUNNING
INTO A SITUATION

WHERE HER SCOOTER
ISN'T WORKING ANYMORE

AND SHE HAS NO ONE
TO HELP HER.

AND SO THERE'S
A LOT OF CONCERNS,

JUST ABOUT HER PHYSICAL SAFETY

AND ABOUT HER DAY-TO-DAY LIFE
RIGHT NOW.

-OKAY, READY TO GO AGAIN?
-YEP.

PUT A WATER BOTTLE
IN EACH HAND.

SO WE'LL DO
OUR ARMS UP.

Janine: I SEE
DR. NOW IN ONE MONTH,

AND I GET HOW IMPORTANT IT IS
FOR ME TO HIT HIS GOAL.

AND IF I DON'T QUALIFY
THIS NEXT TIME,

THEN I KNOW THAT
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE

DR. NOW WILL TELL ME
THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO.

NICE JOB.

THANK YA.

**

Janine: I KNOW HOW MUCH
IS RIDING ON TODAY.

JANINE MUELLER?

**

I NEED TO GET
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

**

AND IT'S BEEN SUCH A HARD
ROAD AND JOURNEY HERE.

**

[ SIGHS ]

WE CAN DO THIS, GIRL.

BE NICE TO ME.

OKAY.

I CAN'T MESS IT UP
AND LOSE EVERYTHING TODAY.

AND IF I DID,

I KNOW IT WILL BE
A DEATH SENTENCE.

**

**

Janine: TODAY IS
A BIG DAY FOR ME.

BECAUSE I WANT TO PROVE MYSELF
TO DR. NOW.

HE TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED
TO LOSE 50 POUNDS

OVER THE LAST TWO MONTHS,

SO I SHOULD BE 495 TODAY.

**

GOD, THAT REALLY SUCKS.

**

I GAINED SOME WEIGHT BACK,

AND I KNOW IT'S GONNA
REALLY UPSET DR. NOWZARADAN.

I MAJORLY SCREWED UP,
SO...

HE'S GOING TO BE VERY UNHAPPY.

**

-HI, JANINE.
-HI, DR. NOWZARADAN.

SO, WE PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL
ON A CONTROLLED DIET

AND WE GOT YOUR WEIGHT
DOWN TO 545.

MM-HMM.

AND NOW YOU'RE BACK
OVER 600 POUNDS.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS?

WELL, I DID NOT HAVE
A GOOD WEEK THIS WEEK.

I THOUGHT I WAS DOING OKAY,
BUT I CAME TO REALIZE

I MADE SOME BAD CHOICES.

BUT HERE'S MY CONCERN...

IN THE PAST TWO MONTHS,
YOU HAVEN'T LOST ANY WEIGHT,

AND YOU STILL WON'T GET UP
AND OUT OF YOUR SCOOTER.

SO TELL ME, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH YOU NOW?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO TELL YOU?

I'M TRYING TO SAY THAT,
YOU KNOW,

I'M REALIZING THAT CHOICES
I MADE WERE WRONG THIS WEEK.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT.

THAT'S JUST ANOTHER EXCUSE.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE
NO DESIRE TO CHANGE,

DESPITE THE FACT
THAT IT MEANS

THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO DIE SOON.

SO WHAT IS WRONG THERE?
CAN YOU TELL ME?

YES.

I DON'T FEEL WELL.

I DON'T FEEL HEALTHY,
I DON'T FEEL WELL.

I HAVEN'T FELT WELL
SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE.

OKAY, YOU'RE NOT
FEELING WELL HERE

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT EATING
THE FOOD THAT YOU USED TO EAT,

THE SUGARY STUFF
THAT YOU WANT TO EAT.

WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?

YOU WANT TO GO BACK
TO EAT SUGAR AND FEEL GOOD?

NO, I DON'T.
I DON'T.

THE REALITY IS,
THE SCALE DOESN'T LIE.

PEOPLE DO.

AND THIS IS JUST SOMETHING
THAT'S HAPPENING

OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

WE TRIED TO GET YOU TO
UNDERSTAND WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,

WHAT'S THE SOLUTION.

"I'M NAUSEATED.
I DON'T WANT TO EAT."

BUT THE REALITY IS,
YOU'RE EATING SOME OTHER STUFF.

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT
THE HEALTHY STUFF.

YOU WANT TO EAT ALL THE
JUNK FOOD THAT YOU USED TO.

AND THAT'S KILLING YOU.

OKAY, AS FAR AS I CAN SEE,

WE NEED TO TAKE
A MORE EXTREME APPROACH

TO GET YOU GOING
IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

THE ONLY OPTION
I'M THINKING ABOUT...

MAYBE WE DO SOMETHING PHYSICALLY
TO RESTRICT YOU FROM EATING.

AND ONE OPTION WOULD BE TO PUT
A BALLOON IN THE STOMACH.

OH, DEAR LORD.

IT IS ONLY
A TEMPORARY SOLUTION.

BUT IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING,
YOU'RE GONNA BE DEAD SOON.

SO THIS IS
THE ONLY OPTION.

THAT'S REALLY EXTREME.

THAT'S NOT AS EXTREME AS HAVING
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU THINK BEING
600 POUNDS IS OKAY?

NO, I DON'T.

I DON'T.

DO YOU THINK YOUR BODY
IS GONNA TOLERATE

BEING THIS WAY
MUCH LONGER?

NO.
NO.

BUT YOU WON'T CHANGE,
AND THIS IS A LAST RESORT.

A BALLOON IS SOMETHING
THAT PEOPLE SWALLOW DOWN,

GOES THROUGH,
AND WE INFLATE IT WITH GAS.

JUST LIKE THAT.

STAYS INTO YOUR STOMACH.

TAKES THAT MUCH ROOM OUT
OF YOUR STOMACH.

OKAY?

SO YOU'LL BE ABLE
TO EAT LESS.

FOR THAT, WE NEED
TO VERIFY THE BALLOON

GOING DOWN IN YOUR STOMACH
SO WE'LL BE ABLE TO SEE.

SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO...

I'M GONNA DO A QUICK TEST
ON YOU TO SEE

IF YOU EVEN HAVE
THE CAPABILITY

OF SEEING THAT BALLOON
WITH X-RAY, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, JANINE,
I WANT YOU TO COME WITH ME.

OKAY.

**

GOING THAT WAY.

OKAY.

**

Janine: I'M VERY
OVERWHELMED RIGHT NOW.

I GUESS, YOU KNOW,
MY ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

AND THESE ARE THEM.

IT FEELS LIKE PUNISHMENT
RIGHT NOW, HONESTLY,

BECAUSE IT'S THE CONSEQUENCES
FOR WHAT I CHOSE TO DO.

SO, WHATEVER I NEED TO DO
IS WHATEVER I NEED TO DO.

THIS IS NOT HOW I THOUGHT
IT WAS GONNA GO.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan:
I THINK IT'S CLEAR

WITH JANINE'S RECENT
WEIGHT GAIN,

THERE ARE SERIOUS ISSUES

THAT WE HAVE
TO ADDRESS WITH HER.

SURGERY WOULD KILL HER
RIGHT NOW.

SO A SHORT-TERM SOLUTION IS
TO PUT A GASTRIC BALLOON

IN HER STOMACH

TO HELP HER EAT LESS

AND BE FULL AND LOSE WEIGHT.

BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, THE PRIORITY
IS STOPPING HER WEIGHT GAIN

SO SHE DOESN'T KILL HERSELF.

**

OKAY, JANINE,
WE HAVE AN ISSUE.

YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FAT
AROUND YOUR ABDOMEN

FOR THE X-RAY TO PENETRATE
TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR STOMACH.

BECAUSE IF IT IS
IN YOUR ESOPHAGUS

AND I INFLATE IT,
IT WILL KILL YOU.

WELL...

BUT THERE ARE MORE POWERFUL
X-RAY MACHINES AT THE HOSPITAL,

SO I'M SCHEDULING TIME FOR YOU
TO GO THERE TOMORROW,

AND, HOPEFULLY,
WE CAN DO IT THERE.

OKAY.

AND IF YOU DON'T DO THIS,

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LIVE
MUCH LONGER.

SO I EXPECT
TO SEE YOU THERE.

ALL RIGHT, JANINE,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE

THOSE CHANGES, OKAY?

YES, SIR.
YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

OKAY, THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

**

I'M CONCERNED THAT JANINE
WON'T SHOW UP TOMORROW.

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT
TO GIVE UP HER EATING HABITS,

AND IF SHE DOES,
THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE

I MAY NEVER SEE HER AGAIN.

**

Janine: I HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO,

AND I KNOW THAT --

A LOT.

AND I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING
ALL THE WORK I NEED TO DO.

**

I JUST FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW,

I WISH SOMEONE WOULD JUST
CUT ME A LITTLE BREAK.

**

**

I'M PROUD OF JANINE
FOR COMING TODAY,

BECAUSE THIS IS HER LAST CHANCE
TO GET HELP FROM US.

AND WE HAVE MORE OPTIONS
HERE AT THE HOSPITAL

TO FIND A WAY TO SEE
INTO HER STOMACH

SO WE CAN ACTIVATE THE BALLOON.

BUT THERE IS A LARGE AMOUNT
OF FAT AROUND HER ABDOMEN

THAT STILL MAY BE TOO BIG
FOR ANY MACHINE TO SEE THROUGH.

AND IF THAT IS THE SITUATION,

THEN THERE IS NO WAY TO SAFELY

PUT A BALLOON
IN JANINE'S STOMACH,

AND WE MAY BE COMPLETELY
OUT OF OPTIONS TO HELP HER.

I'M SORRY.

Man: THAT'S AS FAR
AS IT GOES.

Dr. Nowzaradan: OKAY.
SIT STILL FOR A MOMENT.

THIS IS NOT WORKING.

WE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING.

OKAY, JANINE,
WE NEED TO LAY YOU DOWN

AND TRY IT THAT WAY.

**

[BLEEP].

YEAH.

**

OKAY, I'LL DO IT.

**

AND LIFT.

THERE YOU GO.

OH, THANK YOU!
-YOU'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
IF YOU JUST LAY LIKE THAT,

WE CAN WORK WITH YOU
LIKE THAT.

[ SOBBING ]

**

YEAH, I CAN SEE THOSE.

ALL RIGHT, SUPER.

SO, THIS IS THE CAPSULE,
BUT IT'S CONNECTED TO TUBING.

-OKAY.
-AND SO WE'RE GONNA WET IT,

AND IN GOES THE...

JUST SWALLOW.

**

**

ALL RIGHT.

**

[ GROANS, BELCHES ]

[BLEEP].
OKAY.

THAT'S COMING IN
AS FAR AS...

SEE IF WE CAN SEE
THE CAPSULE.

**

**

COME ON UP
A LITTLE BIT.

AND CAN YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND HOLD IT?

FOLLOW IT DOWN.

**

I'D SAY THIS IS
A LITTLE BIT HIGHER

THAN IT SHOULD BE, HUH?

YOU DOING OKAY?

AND THE BALLOON IS
NOW DOWN THERE.

[ RETCHES ]

YOU DID IT.

THE PROCURE
WAS A SUCCESS TODAY.

BUT THIS IS ONLY
A SHORT-TERM SOLUTION,

BECAUSE WE'RE ONLY ABLE
TO LEAVE IT IN FOR SIX MONTHS.

BUT THIS WILL BUY US SOME TIME
AND PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN JANINE

FROM OVER-EATING
AND KILLING HERSELF

IN THE NEAR FUTURE.

JANINE HAS, PRACTICALLY,
WASTED THE WHOLE YEAR.

IF SHE DOESN'T DO
WHAT SHE'S SUPPOSED TO DO

AND START MAKING
THE PROGRESS SHE NEEDS,

THEN WE'RE OUT OF OPTIONS
WITH HER.

BUT, HOPEFULLY, THIS PROCEDURE
IS GOING TO BE THE START

OF TURNING THINGS
AROUND FOR HER.

**

**

**

**

OH, GEEZ.

OH, GOD.

I'LL TELL YOU,
IT'S NOT PRETTY.

AW.

DOES THAT FEEL BETTER?

KNEES FEEL BETTER.
TUMMY DOES NOT FEEL BETTER.

[ SIGHS ]

JUST HAVE A SEAT
WHEREVER AND...

OKAY, I'LL SIT
ON THE FLOOR.

OKAY.

SO, HOW HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING
THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS?

WELL, I'VE BEEN
PRETTY NAUSEOUS,

AND THEN GETTING THIS
BALLOON THING IMPLANTED

HAS LIKE INCREASED
IT TIMES 10.

I'M JUST LIKE...
OH, MY GOD.

I MEAN, IMAGINE
THE WORST INDIGESTION

YOU'VE EVER HAD
IN YOUR LIFE.

TO BE HONEST, I JUST FEEL
THE BEAT DOWN, I REALLY DO.

I JUST FEEL SO BEATEN DOWN,
LIKE I'M JUST NEVER GONNA WIN.

SO, WHEN I HEAR YOU TALKING
ABOUT BEATEN DOWN,

IT BREAKS MY HEART,
YOU KNOW,

AND IT MAKES ME REALLY SAD
THAT YOU'RE --

-SORRY.
-IT'S OKAY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
TO ME FOR THAT, AUNT JAN.

IT'S OKAY.

I JUST WANT TO BE HONEST.

I'M SAD THAT
YOU'RE AT THIS PLACE,

AND I'M SORRY
THAT IT'S HARD.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE
TO ME FOR BEING BEATEN DOWN.

YOU ONLY HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO ME
IF YOU START NOT TRYING

AND WHEN YOU STOP CARING
ABOUT IT.

AND I KNOW
YOU DON'T NOT CARE,

BUT I NEED YOU
TO STAY IN TRENCHES

AND I NEED YOU
TO FIGHT BACK.

BECAUSE YOU'RE
THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN.

I KNOW.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE
VERY IMPORTANT TO ME,

AND I NEED YOU
TO BE THERE.

I NEED YOU TO BE
IN MY LIFE

ON MORE THAN A BASIS WHERE
OUR LIFE REVOLVES AROUND

YOU NEEDING TO GET
YOUR WEIGHT UNDER CONTROL.

WE'RE NOT LIVING THE LIFE
THAT WE SHOULD LIVE.

-I KNOW.
-IT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME

ONCE I FOUND OUT YOU WERE
WILLING TO DO THIS.

BECAUSE I KNEW THAT
YOU'RE NOT JUST DOING IT

FOR A BETTER LIFE FOR YOU,

BUT YOU'RE DOING IT
FOR A BETTER LIFE

FOR ALL OF US AND
OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

OH, YEAH.
FOR SURE.

YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
I HATE THE FACT

THAT I'M NOT ABLE TO GO

AND BE WITH ALL OF YOU
AND, YOU KNOW,

BE AT THESE DIFFERENT
FAMILY EVENTS AND...

WELL,
AND WE NEED YOU THERE.

LIKE WE JUST NEED YOU
AT THESE THINGS

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'VE MISSED OUT

ON [ Voice breaking ]
SOME OF OUR FAMILY'S LIFE

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THEM.

YEAH. I KNOW.
AND MY MOM DOESN'T KNOW THEM.

SHE NEVER KNEW GRANDMA.

NO, SHE DIDN'T.
BUT YOU DID,

AND YOU'VE BEEN GONE
AND SO WE NEED YOU THERE.

WE JUST NEED YOU THERE.

I'M SORRY, HONEY.

OKAY.

I'M SO SORRY.

I'M SORRY, RACHEL.

SORRY,
I JUST NEED A SECOND.

NO.

I'M SORRY.

**

SOME OF MY LIFE FEELS
LIKE IT'S BEEN TAKEN FROM ME.

I NEVER KNEW MY GRANDMA.

AND SOMETIMES I GET REALLY ANGRY
THAT MY AUNT KNOWS HER

AND SHE'S NOT THERE,

RECOUNTING STORIES
OF OUR FAMILY ALL TOGETHER.

AND I DON'T THINK SHE REALIZES

HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS.

GAINING WEIGHT IS
HER OWN FORM OF SUICIDE,

AND SHE'S GONNA DIE,

AND I CAN'T GO THROUGH THAT
WITH HER.

AND SO SHE HAS
TO FIX SOMETHING.

SHE HAS TO GET BETTER.

**

Janine:
I KNOW I HAVE A LOT TO LIVE FOR,

AND I NEED TO TRY A LOT HARDER.

I VOW NOT TO WASTE THIS CHANCE
LIKE I HAVE.

I KNOW I HAVE TO MAKE
THIS NEXT YEAR COUNT.

BECAUSE IF I DON'T,

THEN I KNOW I'M GOING
TO LOSE EVERYTHING

I HAVE TO LIVE FOR,

AND I'M GOING
TO LET DOWN THE PEOPLE

I CARE ABOUT MOST.

SORRY, I JUST...

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

I'M SO SORRY.

**