All language subtitles for My 600-lb Life S05E19

-- Captions by VITAC --
www.vitac.com

Milla: I CAN'T EVEN
TAKE CARE OF MYSELF.

MY CHILDREN HAVE TO DO
EVERYTHING FOR ME.

Charity:
I FEEL LIKE SOME MONSTER.

Nikki:
I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.

[ Crying ]
IT'S MISERABLE.

Brittani: MY BODY IS THE MOST
DISGUSTING THING IN THE WORLD.

**

Woman:
I'M TERRIFIED RIGHT NOW.

June: I'M RISKING MY LIFE
FOR A BETTER LIFE.

I LOVE YOU, MOMMY.

-OOH, CHILD!
-PULL. GOOD. THERE YOU GO!

GOOD JOB.

Teretha:
I'M GETTING STRONGER, BUT I KNOW
I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO.

Paula: I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE
WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.

**

Susan: I AM NOW EXPRESSING
MYSELF AND LIVING MY OWN TRUTH.

Milla: I'M SO HAPPY
ABOUT THE PROGRESS I'VE MADE.

June: I AM LIVING LIFE, AND
I'M LOVING EVERY SECOND OF IT.

Ashley: I'VE ACCOMPLISHED
A LOT THIS YEAR.

Lupe: THIS FEELS AMAZING.

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

Dottie: I'M JUST GROTESQUE.
I'M HUGE.

I'M SICKENING LOOKING.

AND I'VE FELT THAT WAY
FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER.

EVEN THOUGH I AM
AS OVERWEIGHT AS I AM,

I HAVE TO GET UP EVERY DAY

BECAUSE I HAVE TWO KIDS
THAT DEPEND ON ME.

DANIEL, WHO IS 12
AND HAS CEREBRAL PALSY,

AND LANDON, WHO IS 1.

BUT I CAN BARELY GET AROUND.

AND IT MAKES IT SO HARD
TO TAKE CARE OF THEM.

Chris: DOTTIE -- SHE'S A --
SHE'S A GREAT MOM.

SHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE,

BUT I THINK SHE'S
KILLING HERSELF.

Dottie:
AND I DON'T WANT TO DIE.

BUT I KNOW I DON'T
HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT.

SO, ME AND CHRIS
ARE HEADING TO HOUSTON

TO SEE A DOCTOR WHO DOES SURGERY
ON PEOPLE MY SIZE.

I JUST HOPE I'M NOT BEYOND HELP.

Nurse: 641.

DOTTIE HAS TO BE EATING
AROUND 30,000 CALORIES A DAY.

I WANT YOU TO LOSE 40 POUNDS
OVER THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

Dottie: WHEN I GOT HOME
FROM THE DOCTOR'S,

DANIEL WAS HAVING
TROUBLE BREATHING,

SO HE HAD TO BE RUSHED
TO THE HOSPITAL.

AND UNTIL DANIEL GETS BETTER,
I CAN'T WORRY ABOUT MY WEIGHT.

SO THE DOCTOR
IS GONNA HAVE TO WAIT.

AFTER ABOUT FIVE WEEKS
IN THE HOSPITAL,

DANIEL STARTED GETTING BETTER,

SO WE WERE ABLE
TO BRING HIM HOME.

BUT I'VE BEEN REALLY WORRIED

THAT SOMETHING
COULD GO WRONG AGAIN.

SO MY SISTER'S COME
TO HELP WITH THE KIDS.

BUT SHE REALLY
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND

WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL
WITH EVERY DAY.

YOU GONNA EAT SOME PIZZA?

I COULD TAKE THAT PIZZA

AND THROW IT OUT
THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.

I'M SO MAD.

WELL, WE HAD TO HAVE
SOME SUPPER TONIGHT.

[ BABY CRIES ]
THAT'S KILLING YOU.

THAT'S KILLING YOU.

THAT'S KILLING YOU.

THIS HAS TO STOP.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
YOU GAINED 30 POUNDS.

I'M READY TO PUT MY HEALTH
FORWARD THIS TIME,

THEN IT'S TIME
TO PROVE IT TO ME.

YOU'RE GOING TO
A HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW

TO START
YOUR CONTROLLED DIET.

IT'S BEEN A BIT
OF AN ADJUSTMENT

SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE
IN THE HOSPITAL

BECAUSE I USUALLY EAT THREE
OR FOUR TIMES THESE AMOUNTS.

BUT I'M TRYING TO LEARN MORE
OF WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING.

Dr. Nowzaradan: DOTTIE HAS BEEN
ON A CONTROLLED DIET

FOR A MONTH NOW.

YOU LOST ALMOST
70 POUNDS THIS MONTH.

SO I'M GONNA SET YOU UP
FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, OKAY?

-YAY! YAY!
-OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, DOTTIE'S
SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

THERE WILL BE SOME UPS AND DOWNS
WITH HER SOON, I'M SURE.

BUT SHE'S ON THE RIGHT
TRACK FOR NOW.

Dottie: AND SEEING
THE PROGRESS I'M MAKING

MAKES ME EXCITED TO DO MORE.

I KNOW I STILL HAVE
A LOT OF WORK TO DO,

BUT FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN A LONG TIME,

I'M NOT AFRAID
OF WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.

**

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT TODAY

BECAUSE I'M GONNA START
WORKING OUT WITH A TRAINER.

LOSING OVER 100 POUNDS
IN THE LAST FIVE MONTHS

AND HAVING ALL THE ENERGY THAT I
HAVE RIGHT NOW FEELS INCREDIBLE.

AND I WANT TO KEEP DOING MORE

NOW THAT I SEE
ALL THESE CHANGES.

BUT IT'S HARD TO DO
SOMETHING REALLY ACTIVE.

I'LL WORKOUT AT THE HOUSE
WITH DANIEL AND LANDON

NEEDING ME ALL THE TIME.

SO MY HUSBAND CHRIS AND I
HAVE DECIDED TO EXTEND THE NURSE

WE'VE HAD WATCHING DANIEL SO I
CAN SPEND SOME TIME AT THE GYM.

THIS IS GONNA BE
A COMPLETELY NEW EXPERIENCE,

AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.

I'M KRISTINA --
SO NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU WANT
TO GET STARTED?

SO, WE'RE GONNA START WITH
OUR ARM CIRCLES FORWARD, OKAY?

REALLY TRY TO TWIST.
YEP.

THIS FEELS REALLY GOOD.

ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
NOW WE'RE GONNA GO ROWS.

IT'S HARD, BUT IT'S NICE
FOR RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE IT'S TIME

THAT I CAN SPEND JUST BEING ME

AND NOT BEING A MOM
AND NOT BEING A WIFE.

I CAN JUST FOCUS ON THIS
AND TRY TO PUSH MYSELF.

GOOD JOB. GOOD.
THAT WAS A GOOD REP.

I'VE SPENT SO MANY YEARS JUST
FOCUSING ON MY FAMILY AND DANIEL

BECAUSE HE CONSTANTLY NEEDS ME.

AND I'M HAPPY TO BE THERE
FOR HIM ALL THAT I CAN,

AND I WOULDN'T TRADE
ANY OF THAT.

BUT I KNOW IF I DON'T
GET HEALTHY

AND I KEEP GETTING WORSE,

I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE
FOR HIM AT ALL.

WHEN DANIEL STARTED STRUGGLING
AGAIN THIS PAST YEAR

AND I ALMOST LOST HIM,
I JUST WENT OFF THE RAILS

AND GOT UP
TO MY HIGHEST WEIGHT EVER

BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE MOST
STRESSFUL TIMES IN MY LIFE.

DR. NOWZARADAN KEEPS TELLING ME
THERE IS NO SITUATION

THAT JUSTIFIES
MAKING UNHEALTHY CHOICES.

SO ALL I CAN DO
IS TRY HARDER EVERY DAY,

AND NO MATTER THE SITUATION,

TO KEEP GETTING HEALTHIER
AND TO SET MYSELF UP

TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES NO MATTER
WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY LIFE.

AND THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING NOW.

NICE!

GOOD JOB!
WAY TO FINISH.

I HAVE DEFINITELY
SURPRISED MYSELF AT THE THINGS

THAT I'M DOING IN THE GYM.

NICE JOB!

I'VE DID THINGS NOW THAT
I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE

TO DO A YEAR AGO, AND IT --

YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME FEEL
REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF.

I'M MORE ACTIVE THEN
I'VE EVER REALLY BEEN.

BUT I KNOW
THAT'S HALF THE BATTLE.

AND I'M ALSO STILL WORKING
ON THE OTHER HALF OF MY BATTLE

WITH MY FOOD CHOICES.

THE HARDEST MEAL
IS DINNER, THOUGH,

BECAUSE ONCE I GET DANIEL
AND LANDON READY FOR BED

AND EVERYTHING
TAKEN CARE OF FOR THE DAY,

IT'S JUST HARD TO COOK A MEAL,
SO WE ORDER OUT A LOT RIGHT NOW.

AND I'M TRYING
TO STICK TO SALADS.

BUT I WILL SAY MAKING
HEALTHY CHOICES WITH WHAT I EAT

AT EVERY MEAL
IS MY BIGGEST STRUGGLE...

Chris: YEAH, I'LL BE BACK
IN A MINUTE.

...ESPECIALLY WHEN I START
TO WORRY ABOUT DANIEL,

IF HE'S NOT DOING WELL
THAT DAY OR STRUGGLING.

HI, POOH.

MY GOAL IS TO BE THERE
FOR MY FAMILY...

ARE YOU GONNA
OPEN YOUR EYES?

...AND TO BE THERE
FOR DANIEL

FOR AS MUCH AS HE NEEDS ME,

AND WHEN HE HAS HIS HARD TIMES,
TO BE READY TO STAY ON TRACK

SO I DON'T START TO GAIN AGAIN.

WHEN I HAVE
ALL THAT STRESS ON ME,

MY FAMILY IS MY MOTIVATION,

AND I'M NOT GONNA
LET THEM DOWN AGAIN.

I DIDN'T KNOW
THEY PUT BACON ON THESE.

Chris:
I DIDN'T EITHER.

WELL, I CAN'T
PICK ALL THAT OFF,

NOT IN THEM LITTLE,
BITTY, OLD PIECES.

I THINK I'M READY TO GO BACK
AND SEE DR. NOW.

YOU THINK YOU'VE LOST
ENOUGH WEIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH.

**

THE WEIGHT IS TOO MUCH.

AND IT'S JUST DIFFICULT
TO DO ANYTHING ON MY OWN.

SO GIRLFRIEND, SADI,
DOES EVERYTHING PHYSICAL FOR ME.

FOUR YEARS AGO, MY SON MACK
WAS IN THE WRONG PLACE

AT THE WRONG TIME
AND HE WAS SHOT AND KILLED.

I INSTANTLY WENT NUMB.

THAT WAS THE MOMENT
WHERE EVERYTHING CHANGED.

I SHUT DOWN.

I NEEDED SOMETHING TO COPE WITH.

I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT MY SIZE.

AND I JUST ATE.

BUT SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE,
OR I'M GOING TO DIE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE SCALE
IS GONNA SAY.

[ GASPS ]

YOU HAVE A NUMBER
OF MEDICAL ISSUES.

A HEART ATTACK IN --
I HAD A MAJOR STROKE.

I AM VERY CONCERNED.

IF I SEND YOU HOME, IT MAY BE
THE LAST TIME I SEE YOU.

SO I'M GOING TO ADMIT YOU
TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: JUNE HAS BEEN
IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A MONTH,

BUT DESPITE HER PUSHBACK TO
THE PROGRAM, WE STUCK WITH IT,

AND SHE MADE SOME PROGRESS.

HEY.

RIGHT NOW, SHE'S
HEALTHY ENOUGH TO GO HOME,

AND FOR NEXT MONTH, I WANT JUNE
TO JUST LOSE FIVE POUNDS.

IS SHE DOES, THEN I WILL APPROVE
HER FOR GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY.

June: SINCE BEING
AT THE HOSPITAL,

I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING WELL.

I WAS HOPING TO HAVE MADE
MORE PROGRESS BY NOW.

AND I HAVE TO ADMIT,
I DID CHEAT.

HMM.

Dr. Nowzaradan: OKAY, JUNE,
YOU GAINED 20 POUNDS,

AND I SEE THAT
UNWILLINGNESS TO CHANGE.

I RESPECT YOU TOTALLY,

BUT I'M GONNA SAY THIS --
YOU'RE WRONG.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU
WHY YOU'RE WRONG...

BECAUSE I KNOW THIS IS
MY TIME TO LOSE WEIGHT.

OKAY. LOSE THE 20 POUNDS
THAT YOU GAINED.

I'LL GIVE YOU TWO WEEKS.

2 WEEKS, 20 POUNDS?

YOU CAN DO THAT.

I HAVE WORKED SO HARD.

I HOPE AND PRAY IT'S ENOUGH
TO GET THIS SURGERY.

THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE.

EVERYTHING IS RIDING ON THIS
NUMBER BEING LOW ENOUGH.

THAT'S IT.

SUPER.

WE'RE GOING THEN TO SET YOU UP
FOR YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

AWESOME.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS BYPASS
IS GOING TO BE

A MAJOR ADJUSTMENT FOR HER.

IT WILL LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD
SHE CAN EAT IN ONE SETTING.

June: IT'S BEEN FRUSTRATING,
BECAUSE I EXPECTED THE SURGERY

TO MAKE THINGS EASIER.

IT HASN'T, AND I FEEL
WEAKER THAN EVER BEFORE.

BUT I STILL MADE GOOD PROGRESS.

WELL, SOMETHING ELSE
IS GOING ON.

WHAT I RECOMMEND THAT WE
GET YOU SEE A PSYCHOTHERAPIST.

WHY CONSTANTLY DWELL
ON SOMETHING

THAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE?

THE POINT IS FOR YOU TO BE ABLE
TO SIT WITH THE FEELINGS

THAT CAME ABOUT
FROM WHAT HAPPENED.

TODAY'S MY SON,
MACK'S, BIRTHDAY.

I'LL NEVER BE OKAY
WITH HIS PASSING.

BUT I WILL LEARN TO BE STRONG,
AND THAT LIVING MY LIFE

DOESN'T MEAN I'M FORGETTING HIS.

SO NOW I AM LIVING LIFE.

AND I'M LOVING
EVERY SECOND OF IT.

SINCE I STARTED
MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY,

I'VE LOST OVER 200 POUNDS,

AND I'VE SEEN A LOT
OF POSITIVE CHANGE

IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THAT.

WHEN I FIRST STARTED
THIS JOURNEY,

I WASN'T ACTIVE AS MUCH.

NOW I HAVE SO MUCH MORE
ENERGY THAN I HAD BEFORE,

BUT THERE ARE ALSO
SOME NEGATIVE THINGS

ABOUT LOSING A LOT OF WEIGHT.

AND THE BIGGEST ONE WILL BE
ALL THE EXCESS SKIN ON MY BODY.

IT'S HEAVY, AND IT MAKES IT
DIFFICULT TO WALK,

IT MAKES IT DIFFICULT
TO EXERCISE.

IT'S TIRESOME.

THE MORE WEIGHT I LOSE,
THE HEAVIER IT GETS,

AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DO,
ALL THIS SKIN,

IT'S NOT GONNA GO ANYWHERE,
SO IT HAS TO BE REMOVED.

THE FIRST STEP IS
MY RIGHT INNER THIGH,

BUT DR. NOWZARADAN SAYS IT CAN
TAKE UP TO FOUR SURGERIES

TO REMOVE ALL MY EXCESS SKIN.

SO THAT'S WHAT I'M DEDICATING
THE NEXT YEAR OF MY LIFE TO --

LOSING ALL THE WEIGHT I NEED
TO GET ALL OF MY SKIN SURGERIES.

BUT I'M NOT LETTING MY EXCESS
SKIN STOP ME OR SLOW ME DOWN,

BECAUSE THAT WOULD TAKE ME
IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION

FROM GETTING SKIN REMOVAL.

MY YEAR LEASE WAS UP
ON MY APARTMENT,

SO LAST WEEK,
I MOVED TO A NEW PLACE,

AND I PICKED IT
FOR TWO MAIN REASONS.

I HAVE TO GO UP AND DOWN
A FLIGHT OF STAIRS --

THAT WILL KEEP ME ACTIVE --

AND IT HAS REALLY
NICE PLACES TO TAKE WALKS.

SO I'M GOING OUT TWICE A DAY
RIGHT NOW TO GET THE EXERCISE

I NEED AND TO STAY ACTIVE.

BUT MY BROTHER'S
ACTUALLY DELIVERING

ALL MY REALLY BIG ITEMS

AND FURNITURE
FROM MY OLD PLACE TODAY.

Jerome: JUNE'S A WHOLE LOT
SMALLER THAN BEFORE,

AND SHE'S GETTING AROUND
A WHOLE LOT BETTER.

ACTUALLY, I HAVEN'T SEEN
HER MOVE LIKE THIS

IN PROBABLY ABOUT FOUR YEARS.

AFTER MY FIRST SKIN SURGERY,
I'M HOPING TO BE ABLE

TO WEAR PANTS
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 10 YEARS.

I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW
ABOUT ALL THE WAYS MY LIFE

IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER,
EVEN WHEN THAT CHANGE IS HARD.

SADI AND I ARE BROKEN UP,
BUT WE DECIDED

WE WERE STILL GOING TO LIVE
TOGETHER TO COVER THE RENT.

SO SHE MOVED WITH ME,
BUT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS NOW.

AND SHE TRAVELS A LOT,
SO I DON'T SEE HER AROUND MUCH.

AND I KNOW THIS WHOLE CHANGE
BETWEEN US IS NOT JUST

GOOD FOR ME, BUT FOR HER

BECAUSE SHE NO LONGER
HAS TO TAKE CARE OF ME

ALL DAY, EVERY DAY
AND STAY TRAPPED AT HOME.

AND BECOMING AS INDEPENDENT
AS I AM RIGHT NOW

IS ONE OF THE THINGS

I'M MOST PROUD OF
FROM THIS PAST YEAR.

I'M DOING IT ALL
COMPLETELY ON MY OWN.

AND I DON'T REALLY STRUGGLE
WITH OVEREATING RIGHT NOW.

AFTER STARTING TO DEAL
WITH A LOT OF THE EMOTIONS

THAT I HAD FROM MY SON'S DEATH,

THE CRAVINGS STARTED
TO GET MORE MANAGEABLE.

THEY AREN'T GONE, AND I DON'T
THINK THEY EVER WILL BE FULLY,

BUT I FEEL LIKE
I'M MORE IN CONTROL NOW

THEN I HAVE BEEN
IN A REALLY LONG WHILE.

SO, I'M REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT THIS NEXT YEAR

AND EVERYTHING I'M GOING
TO ACCOMPLISH.

**

Dottie: I'M DEVASTATED RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE TODAY
I'M BURYING MY SON DANIEL.

WHEN HE WAS BORN,
THE DOCTORS DIAGNOSED HIM

WITH CEREBRAL PALSY,

AND THEY TOLD ME
HE ONLY HAD FIVE YEARS TO LIVE.

I GOT 13 YEARS WITH HIM
BECAUSE I NEVER LEFT HIS SIDE

AND I MADE SURE
HE WAS ALWAYS OKAY.

BUT I STILL THOUGHT
I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME WITH HIM.

HE WAS MY LIFE.

ALMOST EVERY MOMENT I HAD I GAVE
TO MAKING SURE HE WAS OKAY,

AND THAT NOTHING
HAPPENED TO HIM.

BUT LAST WEEK, HE JUST
STARTED TO GET WORSE,

AND WE RUSHED HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL.

BUT THERE WAS JUST
NOTHING THEY COULD DO.

THERE WAS ALWAYS A POINT
THAT DOTTIE KNEW

AND A DAY THAT SHE DREADED --
THAT ONE DAY

THAT DANIEL WOULDN'T
COME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL.

BUT RIGHT NOW, MY CONCERN IS FOR
THIS NOT TO BE A SETBACK FOR HER

AND A REASON TO USE FOOD
AS A WAY TO GRIEVE.

Dottie: I LOVED HIM AS MUCH
AS ANY HUMAN BEING

COULD LOVE ANOTHER PERSON,

AND ONE OF THE LAST THINGS
THAT I PROMISED DANIEL

WAS THAT HIS MAMA
WAS GONNA GET HEALTHY,

THAT I WAS DOING THIS FOR HIM

AND THAT NOTHING
WAS GONNA STOP ME.

BUT I'M SCARED, BECAUSE
I KNOW THERE ARE MOMENTS COMING

WHERE ALL THE EMOTION
AND GRAVITY OF THIS

IS GOING TO HIT ME, AND I DON'T
KNOW HOW I'M GONNA HANDLE IT.

**

June: I'M HERE TO SEE
DR. NOWZARADAN

FOR MY NEXT APPOINTMENT

AND HOPEFULLY GET
MY SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY.

JUNE McCAMEY.

MY LAST WEIGHT
WAS 389 POUNDS,

AND I NEED TO HAVE GOTTEN
BELOW 350 TO BE WHERE

DR. NOW SAYS I'LL BE READY
FOR THE SURGERY.

I KNOW I'VE WORKED HARD,
SO I'M HOPING I HIT THAT GOAL

AND THE SCALE IS GOING TO SHOW
I'M UNDER THAT NUMBER.

352.

GREAT.

NOT EXACTLY AS LOW AS I WAS
HOPING, BUT IT'S SO, SO CLOSE

THAT I FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT,

AND HOPEFULLY DR. NOW DOES, TOO.

I DEFINITELY WANT THE SKIN
SURGERY ON MY THIGHS RIGHT NOW.

IT'S PIVOTAL FOR ME
IN MY PROGRESS.

IT'S HINDERING ME RIGHT NOW,
SO I NEED IT DONE.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY, JUNE.

HEY, DR. NOW.
HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.
HOW ABOUT YOURSELF?

I'M DOING GREAT.

SO, YOU'RE DOWN
TO 350 POUNDS ALMOST?

YES, SIR.

OKAY, YOU'RE STAYING ON TRACK,
AND THAT'S GREAT.

SO, HOW IS YOUR WALKING?
HOW IS YOUR LEVEL OF ACTIVITY?

EVERYTHING'S GOING PRETTY GOOD
EXCEPT FOR MY INNER THIGHS.

HOW'S THE EXCESS SKIN FEEL?

WHEN I'M WALKING,
THEY'RE HEAVY.

IT WEARS ME DOWN
JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE.

LET ME TAKE A LOOK.

IT'S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE
IT'S HANGING VERY LOW

AND BEGINNING
TO GET UNCOMFORTABLE.

YEAH.
YEAH, IT IS.

ESPECIALLY THE RIGHT LEG
IS WORSE THAN THE LEFT, HUH?

YEAH, THE RIGHT LEG
IS DEFINITELY WORSE

THAN THE LEFT SIDE,
DEFINITELY,

BECAUSE WHEN I'M WALKING --

AS YOU SEE, THAT,
ALL THIS RIGHT IN HERE...

MM-HMM.

...IS REALLY DOING IT.

Dr. Nowzaradan:
JUNE HAS DONE VERY WELL.

SHE'S COME A LONG WAY
FROM JUST UNDER 600 POUNDS.

AND MY HOPE WAS THAT
IF SHE HIT THAT 350-POUND MARK,

THAT SHE'LL BE READY
FOR EXCESS SKIN REMOVAL.

BUT SHE'S STILL NOT READY
BECAUSE SHE STILL HAS

TOO MUCH FAT AROUND HER LEGS.

THAT MAKES IT FAR MORE LIKELY
TO HAVE ISSUES HEALING PROPERTY.

SO SHE'S GOING TO HAVE
TO LOSE MORE WEIGHT.

I KNOW THIS IS GOING TO BE
DISAPPOINTING TO HER,

BUT WE HAVE TO BE SAFE.

I KNOW YOU'VE GOT
A LOT OF EXTRA SKIN,

AND I WAS HOPING
THAT YOU'LL BE READY

FOR YOUR FIRST EXCESS
SKIN-REMOVAL AT THIS POINT,

BUT IT'S LOOKING LIKE
YOU STILL HAVE TO MUCH FAT

IN THAT AREA TO SAFELY PERFORM
YOUR SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY.

SO I WANTED TO STAY ON TRACK
AND LOSE ANOTHER 50 POUNDS

TO GET BELOW 300
BY YOUR NEXT APPOINTMENT.

OKAY, SO YOU WANT ME
TO WAIT SO I GET TO 300

FOR THE THIGHS, AS WELL?

RIGHT.
OKAY.

I'M CONFIDENT IF YOU DO THAT,
YOU WILL BE READY THEN.

OKAY.

I'M SORRY FOR THE DELAY.

ALL RIGHT.

JUST STAY ON TRACK
AND KEEP MAKING PROGRESS,

AND YOU'LL GET THERE.

OKAY.

YOU HAVE DONE GREAT.

I'LL SEE YOU
IN A COUPLE MONTHS.

AWESOME.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

ALL RIGHT.

June: THERE'S A PART OF ME
THAT WANTS TO BE

REALLY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I WANT THIS
EXCESS SKIN GONE.

IT'S BECOME EXTREMELY PAINFUL,
ESPECIALLY ON MY RIGHT LEG.

BUT IF THE DOCTOR SAYS
IT'S NOT SAFE YET,

THEN I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I DEFINITELY DON'T WANT
TO DO ANYTHING

BEFORE IT'S AS SAFE
AS IT CAN BE,

ESPECIALLY A SURGERY LIKE THIS.

AND I KNOW THAT MY SON
IS WATCHING OVER ME

AND HE'S PROUD OF ME,

SO I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF
GET OFF TRACK

OR DO ANYTHING
TO MESS UP THIS CHANCE.

**

Dottie: IT'S BEEN ONE MONTH
SINCE DANIEL PASSED,

AND I'M STILL JUST TRYING
TO COPE WITH IT ALL.

I JUST STILL CAN'T
BELIEVE HE'S GONE.

IT'S STILL NOT REAL TO ME.

AND THEN THERE'S MOMENTS IT IS,
AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN'T GO ON

UNTIL I PULL MYSELF TOGETHER.

THIS WAS DANIEL'S FOOTPRINT
THAT THEY MADE AT THE HOSPITAL.

WITH THE MEMORIAL TABLE,
I'VE PUT UP PICTURES

AND DIFFERENT REMINDERS.

I STILL HAVE A COUPLE
THINGS TO ADD,

BUT I REALLY LIKE IT.

IT'S SOMETHING
THAT'S MEANINGFUL TO ME,

AND, YOU KNOW, TO OUR FAMILY.

MOST DAYS, I HAVE TO
JUST REMIND MYSELF

THAT LANDON STILL NEEDS ME,

SO I REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME

TO FALL APART
AND MOURN RIGHT NOW.

SO I JUST DEAL WITH IT ALL
WHEN I HAVE THE TIME.

AND WHEN I REALLY START TO
STRUGGLE AND I WANT TO GIVE IN

AND RUN TO SOMETHING
I'M CRAVING,

I REMIND MYSELF
OF MY PROMISES TO DANIEL,

AND GIVING IN WOULD BETRAY HIM
AND HIS MEMORY.

SO I'M STICKING
WITH IT RIGHT NOW.

NO MATTER HOW MUCH I STRUGGLE,
I'M NOT RUNNING TO FOOD.

YOU EAT YOUR S'ghettiOs, AND
MAMA'S EATING A PROTEIN SHAKE.

I MISSED MY LAST APPOINTMENT
WITH DR. NOWZARADAN THIS MONTH.

WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON,
IT WAS JUST TOO HARD TO MAKE IT.

BUT I CALLED HIS OFFICE,

AND THEY SET ANOTHER ONE
FOR ME IN A FEW WEEKS.

ARE YOU READY TO GET OUT
AND GET CLEANED UP?

SO I'M WORKING HARD
TO LOSE AS MUCH AS I CAN,

BUT THERE ARE MOMENTS
WHEN THE REALITY

OF EVERYTHING STARTS TO SET IN.

AND THOSE ARE
THE HARDEST MOMENTS,

BECAUSE WHEN THAT STRESS
USED TO HIT ME

AND I STARTED
TO FEEL OVERWHELMED,

I WOULD JUST EAT
AS MUCH AS I CAN.

BUT I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF
I CAN'T GIVE IN,

BECAUSE I PROMISED I WOULDN'T.

WHO IS THAT?

WHO IS THAT?

WHO IS THAT?

I KNOW DANIEL WOULD STILL
WANT ME TO STAY ON TRACK

AND NOT GIVE UP

AND DO THE THINGS
THAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.

BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN
THE PAIN JUST GETS OVERWHELMING,

SO I HAVE TO STEP OUTSIDE
FOR A BIT TO COLLECT MYSELF.

I HAVE TO GET HEALTHY,
AND I HAVE TO HOLD IT TOGETHER

FOR MY YOUNGER SON, LANDON,
AND FOR MY HUSBAND.

THEY NEED ME, SO I HAVE
TO JUST KEEP MOVING,

AND I CAN'T GIVE INTO THE PAIN.

THERE'S TOO MUCH TO DO
RIGHT NOW FOR THAT.

**

June: I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD,
AND I'VE BEEN STAYING ACTIVE

WALKING OUTSIDE TWICE A DAY.

IT FEELS GOOD TO GO FOR A WALK,
BUT IT'S GETTING A LITTLE HARDER

KEEPING UP WITH IT BECAUSE
THE EXCESS SKIN ON MY LEGS

IS HURTING MORE AND MORE.

AND IT'S GETTING TO THE POINT

WHERE IT'S HARD TO STAY
AS ACTIVE AS I WANT.

I'M STILL PUSHING MYSELF,

BUT I'M WONDERING
IF I'M ACTUALLY DOING TOO MUCH

AND MAYBE I'M CAUSING
IT ALL TO CHAFE.

OR MAYBE I'M MAKING IT WORSE
WITH HOW MUCH I'M MOVING.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO SLOW DOWN.

AND I'M AMAZED AT HOW,
IN JUST OVER A YEAR,

MY LIFE IS ALMOST
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT,

AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO CHANGE.

BUT SO FAR, I'VE
SHORTENED MY WALK SOME

TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN
FROM MY EXCESS SKIN.

BUT WITH MY DECREASED ACTIVITY,

I'M TRYING TO EAT EVEN LESS
TO COMPENSATE A LITTLE.

THERE ARE DAYS
IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH,

AND I DO HAVE CRAVINGS.

BUT I HAVE NO DESIRE
TO EAT LIKE I DID.

THERE WERE TIMES LAST YEAR
BEFORE MY SURGERY

WHERE I WOULD FILL MY PLATE
COMPLETELY, FINISH IT ALL,

AND THEN GO BACK FOR MORE.

BUT I'M NOT GIVING IN,

BECAUSE I'M DETERMINED
TO GET THIS SURGERY.

AND IF I DON'T
GET IT NEXT MONTH,

I KNOW IT'S GOING TO START
TO REALLY AFFECT

MY ABILITY TO GET AROUND,

AND I DON'T WANT TO EVER GET
TO THAT PLACE AGAIN

WHERE I START SITTING
AROUND ALL DAY AGAIN.

I REFUSE TO GO BACK
TO THAT LIFE.

SO I'M WORKING REALLY HARD TO
HIT MY GOAL BY THE NEXT VISIT.

**

I'M HERE AT DR. NOW'S OFFICE
TO SEE IF I LOST THE WEIGHT

I WAS SUPPOSED TO,
AND I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.

IT STARTED TO GET
HARDER AND HARDER

TO KEEP UP WITH MY ACTIVITY.

JUNE McCAMEY.

THE PAIN STARTED TO
GET UNBEARABLE AT TIMES,

SO I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN WAIT

ANOTHER TWO MONTHS
TO GET APPROVED.

I REALLY HOPE
I LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT

BECAUSE I NEED THIS SURGERY NOW.

**

June: I'M HERE FOR
MY APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW,

AND I'M EXTREMELY NERVOUS
BECAUSE I REALLY HOPE

I'VE MADE IT BELOW 300 POUNDS

TO GET APPROVED FOR MY FIRST
EXCESS SKIN-REMOVAL.

SO THAT'S THE NUMBER
I'M HOPING TO SEE.

Nurse: 320.

OKAY.

AMEN.

THAT'S NOT AS MUCH PROGRESS
AS I HAD HOPED,

BUT IT'S STILL
OVER A 30-POUND LOSS,

AND I'M STILL HOPING DR. NOW
SEES HOW HARD I'M TRYING

AND HOW MUCH I NEED
TO GET THIS SURGERY

TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO.
HEY.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M OKAY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

ALL RIGHT.

SO YOU ARE DOWN TO 320.

YES, SIR.

HOW'S YOUR EATING HABIT
COMING ALONG?

SOMETIMES I DON'T HAVE
NO APPETITE, TO BE HONEST,

AND SOMETIMES I DO EAT.

I EAT SOME OF THAT
WHEN I DON'T SUPPOSED TO.

WHEN I DON'T EAT,
I'LL EAT SOME FRUIT

AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE IT,
AND I KNOW THAT.

YOU SHOULD BE DOWN
TO AROUND 300 TODAY

AND EASILY BE LOSING
25 POUNDS A MONTH.

I AGREE.
I'M NOT GONNA ARGUE WITH IT.

YOU'RE COMPROMISING MORE
THAN YOU REALIZE RIGHT NOW,

SO THIS IS AN ISSUE
THAT WE NEED TO RESOLVE,

BECAUSE MY CONCERN
IS IN FIVE YEARS,

YOU'RE GONNA BE BACK
TO 500, 600 POUNDS.

BUT SURGERY'S
NOT A QUICK FIX.

IT WAS NEVER PUT ON
JUST LIKE THAT.

SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO
COME OFF JUST LIKE THAT?

EVERYBODY'S
NOT THE SAME.

EVERYBODY
IS NOT THE SAME.

BUT MATH IS THE SAME,

AND EVERYBODY HAS A PARALLEL
PATTERN OF WEIGHT LOSS.

I'M NOT EVERYBODY ELSE,
AND EVERYBODY ELSE IS NOT ME.

JUNE, THERE ARE THINGS
THAT I'M WRONG ABOUT.

WEIGHT LOSS IS
RARELY ONE OF THEM.

JUNE IS STARTING TO MAKE CHOICES
THAT WILL LEAD HER

TO A VERY DANGEROUS PLACE.

I'M GLAD SHE'S STILL
MAKING PROGRESS,

BUT THE WRITING ON THE WALL
IS THAT SHE'S STARTING

TO COMPROMISE A LITTLE BIT
HERE AND THERE,

AND THAT'S GOING
TO CONTINUE TO LEAD

TO EVEN MORE COMPROMISE,

AND HER WEIGHT LOSS IS GOING
TO SLOW DOWN EVEN MORE,

AND THEN IT WILL STOP
ALTOGETHER

RIGHT BEFORE SHE BEGINS
TO GAIN AGAIN.

YOU WANT TO TRY ME
AND TEST ME, GO AHEAD.

BUT I HOPE YOU
LISTEN TO ME INSTEAD

BECAUSE I WANT
THE SAME THING YOU DO --

TO GET YOU HEALTHY,
AND THAT'S MY JOB.

BUT YOU WANT ME TO LOSE
20 POUNDS A MONTH.

IS THAT YOUR GOAL FOR --
WELL, YOU FEEL LIKE IT NEEDS

TO BE MORE REALISTIC,
SO LOSE 10 POUNDS A MONTH.

THEN YOU'LL BE DOWN
TO WHERE YOU NEED TO BE

FOR SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY
IF YOU WANT TO FOCUS ON THAT.

HEY, I CAN ROLL WITH IT.

SO GET BELOW 300 POUNDS,
THEN WE'LL GO FROM THERE.

OKAY?

THAT'S FAIR.
ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

JUNE IS IN A LITTLE BIT
OF DENIAL ABOUT

WHY HER WEIGHT LOSS IS SLOWING.

AND MY CONCERN IS AT HER
NEXT APPOINTMENT,

SHE WILL HAVE LOST EVEN LESS.

BUT IF SHE GETS DOWN TO
AT LEAST AROUND 300 POUNDS,

THEN I WILL APPROVE HER
FOR SKIN REMOVAL.

BUT IF SHE DOESN'T HIT HER GOAL,

THEN SHE'S GOING TO STOP
LOSING WEIGHT SOON

AND BEGIN TO GAIN AGAIN,

AND THAT WILL BE A SITUATION

THAT IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY
DIFFICULT TO TURN AROUND.

June: I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD,

AND I'M PROVING MYSELF

BECAUSE I'M NOT
LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

I'M ME, AND I KNOW
WHAT I CAN DO.

BUT NO MATTER WHAT, I'M NOT
FALLING SHORT OF ANY OF MY GOALS

OR LOSING ANY OF MY MOTIVATION.

SO I'M GOING TO DO
WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

IT MAY NOT BE
HOW DR. NOW WANTS IT,

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M LETTING UP.

**

Dottie: WE'RE HERE AT
A SPEECH THERAPIST FOR LANDON.

...MAMA'S HAND.

FOR WHATEVER REASON,
HE HASN'T REALLY BEEN TALKING...

COME ON.

...AND WE DON'T KNOW WHY.

WOW.

I KNOW WITH TAKING CARE
OF DANIEL ALL THESE YEARS,

HE'S MOSTLY BEEN AROUND HIM,

AND DANIEL WASN'T
ABLE TO TALK MUCH.

Woman:
YOU CAN JUST HAVE A SEAT,

AND MS. HEATHER WILL OVER
IN JUST A MOMENT.

OKAY.

Dottie: SO WE DON'T KNOW
IF IT'S BECAUSE

HE HASN'T HAD
THE CHANCE TO BE SOCIAL,

IF HE JUST DOESN'T WANT
TO TALK RIGHT NOW,

OR IF SOMETHING'S WRONG.

BUT I'M REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

Heather: HEY, LANDON,
YOU READY TO GO?

COME PLAY WITH ME?

YEAH, BACK THERE.
LET'S GO.

Dottie: AND MAYBE LANDON
NEEDS ME TO BE AROUND

AND CARE FOR HIM
A LOT MORE THAN I REALIZE.

I'M JUST FEELING
MORE LOST THAN EVER NOW,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

MY FAMILY IS MY WHOLE LIFE,
AND THEY NEED ME RIGHT NOW.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

HE'S REALLY OFF.

Dottie: SO, I HAD TO SKIP
MY APPOINTMENT

WITH DR. NOWZARADAN AGAIN.

I JUST DON'T HAVE
TIME RIGHT NOW.

WELL, FIXING
TO GO TAKE A WALK.

THIS IS JUST A HARD TIME.

I'LL SIT OVER HERE.

WITH LANDON NEEDING MY ATTENTION
AND TAKING CARE OF MY FAMILY,

THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH
TO DO RIGHT NOW.

I WANT TO KEEP LOSING WEIGHT,
BUT I'M NOT SURE

I CAN KEEP UP WITH WORKING OUT
AND STAYING AS ACTIVE AS I WANT

AND MAKE EVERY
DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,

AND I KNOW I HAVE
TO FIND A BALANCE.

FAMILY HAS TO ALWAYS
BE MY PRIORITY.

I'M GETTING HEALTHY FOR THEM.

BUT IF I'M NOT THERE FOR THEM,
THEN WHAT'S THE POINT?

SO I HAVE TO FIND
A WAY TO DO BOTH.

HEY, LANDON!

HI, POOH!
HEY!

COME HERE, POOH!

DID YOU DO SO GOOD?

HE DID.
HE DID REALLY GOOD TODAY.

Y'ALL HAVE
A GREAT AFTERNOON.

-YOU TOO.
-THANK YOU.

BYE.

I'M GONNA TRY TO MAKE IT
TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN

NEXT MONTH,
BECAUSE I WANT TO DO THIS,

BUT I JUST NEED TO BE THERE
FOR LANDON RIGHT NOW.

**

June:
IT'S BEEN ABOUT A MONTH

SINCE MY LAST
DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO KEEP UP WITH MY PROGRESS.

BUT I WILL ADMIT,
IT'S BEEN GETTING HARDER.

I STARTED INTERVIEWING FOR JOBS

THAT WILL GET ME
OUT OF THE HOUSE MORE,

AND A FEW WEEKS AGO,
I WAS OFFERED A POSITION

ASSISTING AT A NEARBY LAW FIRM.

I'M HAPPY I'M OUT OF THE HOUSE,
AND I'M LOVING MY NEW JOB

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE
TRAPPED IN THESE WALLS ANYMORE.

AND WHEN I'M AT HOME ALL DAY,
IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE

I'M STILL LIVING LIKE I WAS
WHEN I WAS ALMOST 600 POUNDS

AND TRAPPED IN MY BED
OR MY CHAIR ALL DAY LONG.

SO I'M FINDING AS MANY REASONS
AS I CAN TO GET OUT,

BECAUSE I NEVER WANT TO LIVE

LIKE I DID OR FALL BACK
INTO THAT LIFE.

BUT BEING AT WORK ALL DAY
HAS ALSO MADE IT MORE DIFFICULT

TO KEEP UP WITH MY EXERCISE
AND TO GET OUT AND WALK.

AND EVEN THOUGH
I'M OUT OF THE HOUSE,

THERE'S A LOT OF TIMES
I'M JUST SITTING AT WORK.

IT'S JUST AMAZING HOW EASY
IT IS TO BE SO BUSY

BUT NOT STAY ACTIVE.

THERE'S A GYM HERE
AT MY APARTMENT COMPLEX,

AND I'M THINKING
ABOUT CHECKING IT OUT

AND MAYBE GOING TO EXERCISE
THERE A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK

TO MAKE UP FOR IT.

HOW I WILL FIND
ENOUGH TIME IN A DAY --

BUT I HAVE TO TRY AT SOMETHING.

THE BIGGEST PROBLEM
I STILL HAVE RIGHT NOW, THOUGH,

IS THE EXCESS SKIN ON MY LEGS.

IT'S GETTING TO A POINT
WHERE WHEN I GET HOME,

MY LEGS JUST HURT TOO MUCH
AND I'M JUST DONE FOR THE DAY,

SO I EAT AND THEN GO TO BED.

I'M CONFIDENT I'M STILL
MAKING PROGRESS.

I'M JUST WORRIED
IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ENOUGH

WHEN I SEE DR. NOW NEXT.

AND IF I'M STILL NOT ABLE TO GET
MY EXCESS-SKIN SURGERY,

I'M JUST NOT SURE
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

ALL THE WEIGHT IS, LIKE,
DROPPING INTO MY INNER THIGHS,

SO IT'S LIKE CARRYING
A 10-POUND BABY ON EACH THIGH,

SO I'M PRETTY SURE
MY INNER THIGHS

ARE MAYBE 10 POUNDS A PIECE,

GIVE OR TAKE,
AND THAT'S DIFFICULT BECAUSE --

I MEAN, THE SKIN IS COMING BACK
AND FORTH ON EACH OTHER,

AND IT'S GETTING SO BAD
THAT I'M STARTING

TO NOT WANT TO GET UP AT TIMES.

AND IF MY WEIGHT LOSS IS SLOWING
EVEN MORE BECAUSE OF THIS,

I'M SO SCARED
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT

AND HIT THAT GOAL.

AND IF THAT HAPPENS, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.

**

I'M AT DR. NOWZARADAN'S
CLINIC AGAIN,

AND IT'S BEEN ABOUT FIVE MONTHS

SINCE MY LAST APPOINTMENT
WITH HIM.

WITH EVERYTHING
GOING ON IN MY LIFE,

IT'S BEEN JUST TOO TOUGH
TO COME IN.

I TOLD DR. NOW I'VE BEEN DEALING
WITH THE DEATH OF MY SON,

AND I'VE JUST BEEN BUSY.

BUT I HAD TO MAKE THE TIME
THIS MONTH BECAUSE MY LEG

AND BACK HAVE
REALLY STARTED TO HURT.

DOTTIE PERKINS.

Dottie: IT'S GOTTEN SO BAD

THAT I'VE HAD TO START
USING MY WALKER AGAIN.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE AWAY
FROM LANDON FOR TOO LONG,

SO I WANT TO DO THIS QUICKLY.

I JUST NEED TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT'S WRONG,

BECAUSE I'M STILL WORKING HARD
TO KEEP MY PROMISE TO DANIEL.

I CAN'T FAIL HIM.

LAST TIME I WAS HERE, I WAS
AT 520 POUNDS AND DOING WELL,

AND THE DOCTOR WANTED ME TO KEEP
LOSING 20 POUNDS A MONTH.

SO IF I STAYED ON TRACK,

THAT WOULD PUT ME DOWN
TO 440 POUNDS TODAY.

Nurse: 509.

THAT'S A LOT LESS PROGRESS
THAN I WAS HOPING.

I HAVE NO IDEA
HOW I LOST SO LITTLE,

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING
TO STICK TO MY DIET,

AND I'M NOT GIVING IN REALLY.

SO I'M HOPING DR. NOWZARADAN
ISN'T TOO DISAPPOINTED.

-HELLO.
-HEY.

HI, DR. NOW.
HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

PRETTY GOOD.

YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?

I'M SORRY TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR SON.

THANK YOU.

YOU HOLDING UP OKAY?

I'M OKAY.

HE'S NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE --
NO MORE PAIN.

WHEN HE WENT TO THE HOSPITAL
THIS LAST TIME,

HE, UM...
HE WASN'T SICK.

HIS LUNGS
WERE JUST TIRED.

I AM VERY SORRY.

SO, WHAT IS THE ARMBAND?

IT'S DANIEL'S.
I JUST HAVEN'T TOOK IT OFF.

OH.

I FIND IT KIND OF HARD
TO TAKE IT --

DON'T MAKE ME CRY.

I FIND IT KIND OF HARD
TO TAKE OFF,

SO I LEFT IT ON.

OKAY.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING
OVERALL?

I'M HAVING A LOT OF ISSUES
WITH PAIN IN MY LEGS.

LIKE, I'M ON A WALKER.

WHERE IS IT IN PAIN?

IT'S MY BACK -- LIKE, ALL
UP UNDERNEATH HERE AND DOWN.

JUST HURTING.
IT HURTS.

SO YOUR BODY CONTOUR
IS CHANGING,

THIS STRAIN IN YOUR BACK
IS CHANGING.

SO THAT'S NORMAL,
AND IT WILL PASS

AS YOU LOSE MORE WEIGHT
AND YOU ADJUST.

I KNOW I FELT LIKE, YOU KNOW,
THE MORE WEIGHT THAT I LOST

I WOULDN'T HURT
SO BAD, BUT I DO.

I MEAN, LIKE, I CAN
BARELY LIFT MY LEG UP

AND PUT IT IN THE VAN.

I UNDERSTAND.

SOME WATER THERAPY MAY BE GOOD
FOR YOU TO DO EVENTUALLY,

BUT RIGHT NOW YOU NEED
TO PRIORITIZE PSYCHOTHERAPY.

DOTTIE, OBVIOUSLY,
HAD JUST EXPERIENCED

A VERY TRAUMATIC EVENT
IN HER LIFE.

BUT SHE SEEMS IN DENIAL
ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S FINDING REASONS AND WAYS
WHILE DEALING WITH THE PAIN.

SHE SAYS SHE COULDN'T COME IN

BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BUSY
THESE PAST FEW MONTHS.

BUT THE REALITY IS
SHE MADE HERSELF BUSY,

LIKE SHE DID WITH DANIEL.

SHE LET HERSELF BECOME CONSUMED
WITH CARING FOR HIM

AND USE IT TO AVOID
A LOT OF ISSUES IN HER LIFE.

AND IF SHE SUPPRESSES
ALL HER EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW,

THAT'S GOING TO CREATE
AN EVEN WORSE SITUATION FOR HER.

YOU JUST EXPERIENCED
A TRAUMATIC EVENT,

ONE THAT IS PART OF WHAT
HAS BEEN DRIVING YOU

TO EAT ALL THESE YEARS.

WHAT IS IMPORTANT
FOR YOUR HEALTH

AND YOUR WEIGHT LOSS
IS THAT YOU TAKE A MOMENT

TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

OKAY.

SO, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU
A WEIGHT LOSS GOAL RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE YOUR PRIORITY NEEDS
TO BE GOING TO SEE A THERAPIST.

OKAY.

YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON
HEALING RIGHT NOW

AND DEALING WITH THE EMOTIONS
OF WHAT YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH.

IF YOU JUST PUSH THIS DOWN
OR TRY TO IGNORE IT,

THAT EMOTION SUPPRESSION

IS GOING TO START
TO LEAD YOU BACK

TO THE SAME EXACT HABITS
THAT GOT YOU TO 600 POUNDS.

YOU NEED TO BE
HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY

TO BE HEALTHY PHYSICALLY.

SO YOU NEED TO MAKE
PSYCHOTHERAPY

A PRIORITY RIGHT NOW.

WE'LL GET BACK TO ALL OF THIS
AFTER YOU'VE HAD SOME TIME.

OKAY.

OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU
SOON, OKAY?

THANK YOU.
OKAY.

Dr. Nowzaradan: AFTER
WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY,

DOTTIE HAS TO BE EATING
SMALL AMOUNTS ALL DAY LONG

TO SLOW HER WEIGHT LOSS
TO THE DEGREE SHE HAS,

AND SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T
EVEN REALIZE IT RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S IN DENIAL ABOUT
A NUMBER OF THINGS,

AND IF SHE DOESN'T TAKE TIME
TO ALLOW HERSELF

TO MOURN OVER THIS LOSS,

SHE'S GOING TO BE CAUSING
FAR MORE DAMAGE TO HERSELF

THAN SHE REALIZES.

Dottie: I THINK
DR. NOWZARADAN IS RIGHT.

SEEING A THERAPIST WILL BE GOOD.

I WANT TO KEEP MAKING PROGRESS,

AND IF THERAPY CAN PLAY
ANY PART OF THAT,

I'M WILLING TO TRY.

TODAY, I'M AT THE THERAPIST
THAT DR. NOW WANTS ME TO SEE,

AND I REALLY HOPE
SHE'LL BE ABLE TO HELP ME

BECAUSE I'M A LITTLE LOST
RIGHT NOW.

SO I WANT TO KNOW WHAT TO DO
AND HOW TO FIX THIS FOR DANIEL,

FOR MYSELF,
AND FOR MY FAMILY.

-HI, DOTTIE.
-HI.

-I'M RACHEL.
-I'M DOTTIE.

NICE TO MEET YOU.
COME ON BACK.

OKAY.

YEAH, YOU CAN JUST HAVE A SEAT
ON THE SOFA THERE.

THANKS FOR COMING IN,
DOTTIE.

DO YOU WANT TO GO AHEAD
AND START

BY JUST TELLING ME
WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?

I'M STRUGGLING WITH
A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT NOW.

I LOST
MY OLDEST SON.

-HOW OLD WAS HE?
-HE WAS 13.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN
REALLY HARD.

YES.

HIS NAME WAS DANIEL.
-MM-HMM.

HE HAD CEREBRAL PALSY.

AND I KNEW WHEN WE WENT
TO THE HOSPITAL THAT NIGHT

WE WERE NOT
GONNA COME HOME.

YOU HAVE A LOT OF DIFFERENT
LAYERS HERE, IT SOUNDS LIKE.

YES.

SO FIRST OF ALL --
I MEAN, YOU HAVE THE TRAUMA

AND THE SHOCK.

YOU ALSO HAD
THAT ROUTINE CHANGE, RIGHT?

AFTER 13 YEARS, YOU HAD,
"THIS IS MY PURPOSE,"

"THIS IS WHAT I DO,"
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,

YOUR JOB IS GONE,
SO TO SPEAK.

THOUGH IT'S REALLY INTERESTING
NOW BECAUSE IN A LOT OF WAYS,

YOU'RE REALLY GOOD
AT CARING FOR SOMEONE ELSE,

AND NOW YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
"HOW DO I DO THAT FOR MYSELF?"

LATELY -- YOU KNOW,
WITHIN THE PAST SIX MONTHS --

I HAVE NOT LEARNED
HOW TO CONTROL MY ANXIETY.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR BODY'S
ALL TIGHT, YOU KNOW,

AND HOLDING ON,
AND IT JUST NEEDS TO LET GO.

AND SO THAT'S
EMOTIONAL LETTING GO,

AND THAT'S WHAT GRIEVING IS --
GRIEVING IS LETTING GO.

AND SO IT DOESN'T MAKE IT EASY
FOR CHANGES TO HAPPEN

LIKE WEIGHT LOSS
OR ANY OF THOSE OTHER CHANGES,

AND SO WHAT WE WANT
TO HELP YOU DO IS TO LET GO.

SO I'D LIKE FOR YOU,
JUST FOR A MOMENT NOW --

JUST KIND OF IMAGINE
THAT DANIEL'S HERE WITH US,

AND I WANT YOU TO TELL HIM
WHATEVER IT IS

THAT YOU'D LIKE
TO TELL HIM

HAD YOU KNOWN
THAT YOU WOULDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN.

[ Crying ]
I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

[ SNIFFLES ]
I WISH YOU WERE HERE.

I WISH YOU WERE HERE
TO SEE ALL --

ALL THE THINGS,
YOU KNOW,

THAT ARE GOING ON
WITH ME.

MM-HMM.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

WHAT WOULD BE
HIS WISH FOR YOU?

HIS WISH FOR ME...

...WOULD BE
PROBABLY NOT TO WORRY ABOUT HIM.

TO LET IT GO,
THE WORRY --

I THINK
YOU NEED THAT.

I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU GET
A LITTLE JOURNAL

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT...
-MM-HMM.

...THAT YOU KEEP
BY YOUR BED.

WHEN YOU START HAVING
A LOT OF THOUGHTS,

THAT MAYBE YOU JUST
ARE WRITING THINGS DOWN,

OR YOU HAVE THINGS IN THERE
ALREADY WRITTEN DOWN

THAT CAN KIND OF HELP YOU
TO REMEMBER,

YOU KNOW,
HOW TO LET GO.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU, DOTTIE.

THANK YOU,
THANK YOU.

OKAY.
GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING.

OKAY.

Dottie: I'VE HAD SO MUCH FEAR
AND GRIEF AND HURT

THAT I JUST HAVEN'T EVER
DEALT WITH OR LET GO OF.

I WAS ON SUCH A GOOD TRACK,
SO I'M GONNA START

WITH THE JOURNAL IDEA
AND SEE HOW I DO WITH THAT.

I SPENT SO MANY YEARS
JUST TAKING CARE OF DANIEL,

AND I WOULDN'T CHANGE THAT
FOR THE WORLD.

BUT I KNOW I STILL HAVE A LOT
OF THINGS I NEED TO DEAL WITH

FROM ALL OF THAT,

AND SO I'M GONNA NEED TO DO THAT
NOW IF I WANT TO MOVE FORWARD.

**

June: I'M BACK AGAIN
TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN,

AND I'M ABOUT
TO GET MY WEIGHT CHECKED.

AND I'M MORE NERVOUS THAN I'VE
EVER BEEN FOR AN APPOINTMENT

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN SO DIFFICULT

TRYING TO MAKE PROGRESS
THESE PAST TWO MONTHS.

JUNE McCAMEY.

SO I DON'T KNOW
IF I'M GOING TO BE AT

WHERE I NEED TO BE AT TODAY,
AND IF I DON'T GET APPROVED

AND GET THIS EXCESS SKIN
OFF OF ME,

I'M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT

WHAT THAT'S GOING TO MEAN
FOR MY ACTIVITY.

SO I JUST HOPE
I LOST THE 20 POUNDS

I NEED TO HIT THE GOAL TODAY
AND FINALLY GET MY SURGERY.

**

June: I'M ABOUT TO GET
MY WEIGHT CHECKED,

AND IF I GET UNDER
300 POUNDS THIS TIME,

I'LL FINALLY QUALIFY
FOR MY SKIN REMOVAL.

SO I JUST HOPE
I LOST THE 20 POUNDS

I NEED TO HIT THE GOAL TODAY
AND FINALLY GET MY SURGERY.

Woman: 306.

MY WEIGHT LOSS HAS SLOWED, BUT
I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE RANGE.

IT'S PROGRESS, AND WHAT IT MEANS
TO ME IS I'M WORKING HARD

AND I'M REALLY TRYING.

SO I JUST HOPE
DR. NOW SEES THAT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO.

HEY,
HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.

SO, HOW ARE YOU
GETTING ALONG?

I'M DOING MUCH BETTER.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT,
AND YOU'RE DOWN TO 306 POUNDS.

YES, SIR.

BUT YOU WERE DOING WELL
AND STAYING ON TRACK,

BUT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS
IS SLOWING DOWN.

LAST TIME, YOU DROPPED TO LOSING
ONLY 16 POUNDS A MONTH,

AND NOW YOU'RE DOWN TO LOSING
ONLY 7 POUNDS A MONTH.

SO THIS IS
A VERY CONCERNING PATTERN

THAT YOU NEED
TO GET A HANDLE ON,

OTHERWISE,
THIS IS GOING TO LEAD YOU BACK

TO GAIN
EVERYTHING YOU LOST.

I DISAGREE.

I DON'T THINK I'M OVEREATING,
BECAUSE I'M STILL LOSING WEIGHT.

JUNE ISN'T UNDERSTANDING
HOW SEVERE

THIS DECREASE
IN HER WEIGHT LOSS IS.

SO THIS IS AN ISSUE

THAT WE WILL NEED
TO KEEP ADDRESSING WITH HER.

BUT REGARDLESS
OF HER SLOW WEIGHT LOSS,

SHE HAS LOST ENOUGH TO PERFORM
HER EXCESS-SKIN REMOVAL SAFELY.

ALL RIGHT,
WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS,

AND THIS CONVERSATION
IS NOT OVER.

BUT MAYBE IT WILL HELP
IF WE GET YOU MORE MOBILE.

YES.

OKAY, AND SO LET'S LOOK
AT YOUR THIGH AND SEE.

YOUR LEG IS ACTUALLY
LOOKING PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH.

THE FAT IS REDUCED ENOUGH
AROUND HER LEG TO SAFELY REMOVE

HER EXCESS SKIN
ON HER RIGHT UPPER THIGH,

AND AFTER THE OPERATION,

HOPEFULLY THIS SURGERY
WILL HELP MOTIVATE HER

TO MAKE THE PROGRESS SHE NEEDS
AND GET BACK ON TRACK.

OKAY, I'M APPROVING YOUR FOR
YOUR FIRST SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY.

PERFECT.

I'M GONNA GO AHEAD
AND SCHEDULE YOU

FOR THE OPERATION
IN A MONTH.

YOU GONNA DO JUST
THE RIGHT THIGH OR BOTH THIGHS?

RIGHT THIGH -- THAT'S GONNA BE
TOO MUCH TO DO...

-OKAY.
-...ON THE RECOVERY PART.

OKAY,
SO THE RIGHT THIGH.

AFTER THIS OPERATION, I WANT YOU
TO GET BACK ON TRACK, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.
THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT,
TAKE CARE.

June: I'M REALLY PROUD OF MYSELF
RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M SO EXCITED

TO BE GETTING
MY SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY,

DESPITE HOW HARD IT'S BEEN
OVER THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS.

I PUSHED MYSELF
AND KEPT MOVING AHEAD,

AND I'M SEEING THE RESULT
OF THAT PAYOFF NOW.

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO START
GETTING AS ACTIVE AS I WAS AGAIN

WITHOUT ALL THE PAIN.

**

DOROTHY?

-HEY.
-HI, I'M GAIL.

I'LL BE WORKING WITH YOU TODAY.
-YOU CAN CALL ME "DOTTIE."

THANKS, DOTTIE.
COME ON UP.

ARE YOU READY?
-YEAH.

Dottie: MY BACK AND LEGS
ARE STILL REALLY HURTING,

SO I'M GOING TO BE DOING
AQUATIC THERAPY TODAY,

LIKE DR. NOWZARADAN SAID.

**

GO AROUND THE CORNER,
THERE.

IT'S BEEN YEARS
SINCE I'VE BEEN IN A POOL,

AND I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD

TO THE FEELING OF MY WEIGHT
BEING LIFTED OFF ME.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO
EMOTIONALLY WITH MY JOURNALING,

AND I WANT THAT FEELING
PHYSICALLY, TOO.

YOU NEED SOME HELP,
OR ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU GOT IT?
ALL RIGHT.

THE MORE I AVOIDED
THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT ON ME,

THE MORE WEIGHT
I PUT ON PHYSICALLY,

AND I'M HOPING IT WORKS A LITTLE
THE OTHER WAY AROUND TODAY, TOO,

THAT LIFTING ALL THIS WEIGHT
OFF ME IN THE WATER

WILL BE CATHARTIC, IN A WAY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FEELS GOOD?
-IT FEELS GOOD.

Dottie: IT'S REALLY PHENOMENAL
JUST BEING ABLE TO MOVE AROUND

AND STRETCH
AND MOVE MY BODY IN WAYS

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO
IN A LONG TIME.

OKAY, DOTTIE, WE'RE GONNA
DO THE BICYCLE NOW.

SO YOU'RE MOVING YOUR LEGS
AS IF YOU'RE RIDING A BIKE.

IN THE WATER,
I'M ABLE TO STRETCH MY LEGS,

I'M ABLE TO MOVE MY LEGS
A LOT MORE,

WHICH I'M NOT ABLE TO DO
OUTSIDE OF THE WATER,

AND I HOPE DOING THIS
EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS HELPS ME

TO START MAKING PROGRESS AGAIN,
BECAUSE I HAVE TWO CHOICES --

I CAN LET THE LOSS OF DANIEL
BREAK ME

AND END UP FALLING SHORT
OF MY COMMITMENT TO HIM,

OR I CAN LET MY PROGRESS

BE SOMETHING THAT HONORS HIM
AND HIS MEMORY.

SO I'M GONNA STAY COMMITTED
TO THE PROGRAM

AND REACH MY FINAL GOAL WEIGHT.

NO MATTER WHAT, I'M DOING THIS.

June: TODAY, I'M GETTING
MY SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY.

I DO WISH
I HAD SOME FAMILY WITH ME.

BUT I KNOW MY SON
IS WATCHING OVER ME RIGHT NOW,

AND THAT BRINGS ME SOME PEACE

AND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE NEXT BIG STEP.

SO I KNOW
I'M GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT

AND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE
EXACTLY WHAT I NEED

AND THE NEXT BIG STEP FOR ME
IN MY JOURNEY.

JUST BIG,
DEEP BREATHS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY,
WE'RE DOING EXCESS-SKIN REMOVAL

ON JUNE'S UPPER-RIGHT THIGH.

SHE HAS NOT ONLY DEVELOPED
A LOT OF HANGING SKIN THERE,

BUT SHE HAS
A LARGE LYMPHEDEMA MASS.

SO THIS OPERATION TODAY
IS GOING TO BE

A LITTLE MORE COMPLICATED
THAN USUAL.

OKAY,
STARTING THE FIRST INCISION.

BECAUSE OF ALL THE MASS PULLED
DOWN AND THE WEIGHT OF IT,

IT'S ALL IN HER NERVES

AND BLOOD VESSELS
FROM HER LOWER LEG,

AND WE HAVE TO SEPARATE THOSE

AND MAKE SURE
THEY DON'T GET CROSSED.

IF A SINGLE ONE DIES, IT CAN
CREATE NEUROLOGICAL PROBLEMS

OR CIRCULATION PROBLEMS.

SO WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TODAY

AND MAKE SURE
WE HANDLE EACH NERVE

AND BLOOD VESSEL PROPERLY.

SO THIS IS GOING TO BE
A LONG SURGERY,

BUT THE RESULT WILL BE
SIGNIFICANT FOR JUNE.

SHE'S GOING TO BE ABLE TO BE
MUCH MORE MOBILE ONCE THIS MASS

IS OFF OF HER.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS THE SKIN
OFF THE RIGHT THIGH.

CAN YOU PUT THAT BACK
ON THAT TABLE?

OKAY.

IT HAS DEFINITELY STARTED
TO MAKE IT DIFFICULT

FOR JUNE TO MOVE AROUND
AND WALK AS MUCH.

SO IT IS A GOOD THING THAT WE
ARE ABLE TO REMOVE THAT TODAY.

IT'S GOING TO TAKE HER ABOUT SIX
TO EIGHT WEEKS TO FULLY RECOVER.

BUT EVEN BEFORE THEN,
SHE'S GOING TO NOTICE

A HUGE IMPROVEMENT
IN HER ABILITY TO GET AROUND.

SHE WILL JUST NEED TO GET BACK
TO TAKING IT SLOWLY

UNTIL SHE'S FULLY HEALED.

AND WE'RE DONE.

JUNE'S SURGERY
WENT VERY WELL TODAY.

JUNE?
WE'RE ALL DONE.

WE WERE ABLE TO REMOVE THE MASS
WITHOUT ANY ISSUES,

SO SHE SHOULD BE ABLE
TO GET UP IN A COUPLE DAYS.

ONCE JUNE RECOVERS
FROM THIS OPERATION,

SHE WILL NEED
THREE MORE SKIN REMOVALS

FROM HER LEFT LEG
AND HER ARMS AND HER BACK.

BUT BEFORE WE CAN CONSIDER
ANY MORE OPERATION,

JUNE NEEDS TO WORK TO GET
HER WEIGHT LOSS BACK ON TRACK

BECAUSE IF HER WEIGHT LOSS
CONTINUES TO SLOW,

SHE WILL BE GAINING AGAIN
IN A MATTER OF MONTHS,

AND THAT'S GOING TO BE
A VERY BAD SITUATION.

SO I'M HOPING THIS REMOVAL TODAY
WILL ENCOURAGE HER TO DO MORE

AND GET BACK ON TRACK.

**

Dottie:
I'M HERE TO SEE THE DOCTOR AGAIN
AND FIND OUT HOW I'M DOING.

**

I FEEL LIKE
I'VE BEEN DOING BETTER,

AND I'M HOPING
I LOST A GOOD AMOUNT OF WEIGHT,

EVEN THOUGH DR. NOWZARADAN

REALLY DIDN'T GIVE ME A GOAL
THIS TIME.

DOROTHY PERKINS.

I KNOW I'M SUPPOSED TO BE LOSING
AT LEAST 20 POUNDS EACH MONTH,

AND I WAS AT 509 POUNDS,

SO THAT MEANS
I SHOULD BE AT 470 POUNDS TODAY.

AND I'M HOPING I'M AT LEAST
CLOSE TO GETTING BACK ON TRACK.

I DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING.

I THOUGHT I WAS DOING
A LOT BETTER NOW,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE

BECAUSE I'M DEALING WITH THINGS
AND I'M GETTING EXERCISE.

I GUESS THE ONLY REASON
IS THAT I'M STILL OVEREATING

AND I DON'T REALIZE IT.

SO I DON'T THINK DR. NOW'S
GONNA BE HAPPY WITH ME.

[ COUGHING ]

YOU OKAY?

[ LAUGHTER ]

HOW YOU ALL DOING?

I'M FINE.
HOW ARE YOU?

DOING ALL RIGHT?

I'M DOING OKAY.

SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
MORE SPECIFICALLY?

I'M IN A BETTER PLACE
THAN I WAS,

AND I'M SEEING
A THERAPIST

AND STICKING
TO MY EXERCISES AND DIET.

OKAY,
IF THAT WAS TRUE,

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE LOST
ONLY FIVE POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS.

TO MAINTAIN YOUR WEIGHT,
YOU HAVE TO TAKE IN

AT LEAST 4,000
TO 5,000 CALORIES A DAY.

YEAH.

SO YOU ARE STILL USING FOOD
TO COPE RIGHT NOW.

YOU AREN'T DEALING WITH
YOUR EMOTIONS,

AND THAT'S
DRIVING YOU TO EAT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THE FACT
THAT DOTTIE IS NOT LOSING WEIGHT

MEANS THAT SHE'S STILL TRYING
TO AVOID

DEALING WITH WHAT HAPPENED
TO HER RECENTLY.

SO HER PRIORITY RIGHT NOW
IS TO MAKE SURE

SHE KEEPS GOING
TO THE PSYCHOTHERAPY.

IF SHE DOESN'T, THEN NOTHING
WE DO WILL MATTER BECAUSE

SHE'S NOT ADDRESSING THE CORE
ISSUES BEHIND THIS RIGHT NOW.

BUT SHE CAN'T GO TOO MUCH LONGER
LIKE THIS

BEFORE SHE STARTS TO GAIN AGAIN.

SO, I'M STILL NOT GIVING YOU
ANY WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE YOU STILL NEED
TO DEAL WITH THINGS,

AND I WANT YOU
TO DO TWO THINGS RIGHT NOW.

FIRST, JUST GO BACK TO THE BASIC
WITH YOUR FOOD,

BECAUSE YOU'RE CLOSE
TO GAINING AGAIN

AND WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING
WE CAN TO PREVENT THAT.

HERE'S A LIST OF FOOD
THAT YOU NEED TO AVOID.

SO JUST FOLLOW THIS
FOR WHAT TO EAT AGAIN.

AND THE SECOND THING
IS THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE

YOU KEEP GOING TO A THERAPIST
TO WORK ON THIS ISSUE.

THAT'S YOUR PRIORITY
RIGHT NOW.

DON'T TRY
TO AVOID AND SUPPRESS

WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH,
DOTTIE.

SO LET ME KNOW
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING.

OKAY.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

-COME ON.
-LET'S GO.

LET'S GO.

Dottie:
I'M SCARED RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE
I'M NOT EVEN IN CONTROL.

SO I'M JUST GONNA TRY
AND DO WHAT DR. NOWZARADAN SAYS

AND START OVER WITH MY DIET
AND GO BACK TO THE BASICS AGAIN.

I MADE DANIEL A PROMISE,

AND I PROMISED HIM
I WAS GONNA BE OKAY.

AND I AM GONNA BE OKAY.

MY MINDSET GOING FORWARD
IS TO READ OVER THE THINGS

THAT DR. NOW HAS GIVEN ME
AND TO GET BACK ON TRACK.

I CAN'T MESS THIS UP,
SO I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT.

**

June: I'VE BEEN HOME FROM
SURGERY FOR ABOUT A MONTH NOW,

AND I'M SLOWLY RECOVERING
AND FEELING BETTER EVERYDAY.

MY BROTHER HAD TO COME OVER
FOR A FEW DAYS

JUST TO HELP ME GET AROUND.

BUT I'M DOING A LOT BETTER NOW.

EVEN THOUGH I'M STILL HEALING,

I CAN ALREADY GET AROUND
AND MOVE SO MUCH EASIER.

THE MASS IS NOT THERE --
IT'S NOT RUBBING,

SO IT MAKES IT
A WHOLE LOT EASIER.

I CAN'T BE TOO ACTIVE JUST YET,
BUT I'M GETTING UP

AND MOVING AROUND
AS MUCH AS I CAN CONSTANTLY

BECAUSE NOW THAT

I'M ALMOST RECOVERED
FROM MY FIRST SKIN SURGERY,

I WANT TO LOSE THE WEIGHT
TO GET APPROVED

FOR MY SECOND ONE
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

SO I'M EATING RIGHT,

AND I'M MAKING SURE
MY SUTURES STAY CLEAN.

MY ONLY ISSUE
IS THE DRAIN TUBES.

IT'S JUST A LITTLE ANNOYING.

I HAVE TO TAKE THE DRAINS TO
THE TOILET AND EMPTY THEM OUT.

BUT NOW MY FOCUS IS ON
MY OTHER SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY

AND THEN GETTING
TO MY TARGET WEIGHT.

DR. NOW WANTS ME DOWN TO 200,

BUT I DON'T KNOW
IF I WANT TO GET THAT LOW.

I LIKE BEING THICK, SO I DON'T
KNOW IF I WANT TO BE BELOW 200,

TO BE HONEST.

BUT THAT'S GONNA BE A HASH TAG

ME AND DR. NOWZARADAN
ARE GONNA HAVE TO WORK OUT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHATEVER IT IS, I WANTED TO GET
TO MY TARGET WEIGHT

AND HAVE ALL MY SURGERIES
THIS YEAR,

AND IT'S TOOK ME A LOT LONGER
THAN I THOUGHT

TO GET APPROVED
FOR MY FIRST SKIN REMOVAL.

AND I DON'T WANT TO END UP

IN THE SAME SITUATION
I WAS LAST TIME.

WITH IT TAKING SO LONG, THE SKIN
STARTED TO GET UNBEARABLE,

SO I'M NOT SLOWING DOWN AT ALL.

I'M GOING TO WORK HARD
TO SHOW DR. NOW I'M READY,

AND HE'S GONNA HAVE
NO REASON TO TURN ME DOWN.

**

Dottie: SINCE MY LAST
DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT,

I'VE STILL BEEN MEETING
WITH A THERAPIST

LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO.

AND AT MY LAST APPOINTMENT,
SHE SUGGESTED

I FIND AN ACTIVITY
TO DO WITH MY FAMILY

WHERE WE ALL JUST HAVE FUN.

SHE SAYS I'VE LOST
A LOT OF MY IDENTITY

BY MAKING MY FAMILY MY JOB

AND THAT EVEN THOUGH
I TAKE CARE OF THEM WELL,

SHE THINKS
IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR ME

AND US AS A FAMILY
TO WORK ON A NEW DYNAMIC

WHERE I DON'T TURN THEM
INTO A JOB

TO AVOID A LOT OF ISSUES.

I DID THAT WITH DANIEL FOR YEARS
BECAUSE HE NEEDED ME,

AND NOW I'M REALLY FOCUSED
ON LANDON

BECAUSE HE HASN'T BEEN TALKING.

CHRIS!
-WHAT?

PUT HIM UP
ON THAT BIG SLIDE.

COME ON.
COME ON!

[ CHUCKLES ]
HE WON'T DO IT.

SHE ALSO THINKS
THIS WILL BE GOOD FOR HIM

AND MAY EVEN HELP BRING HIM
OUT OF HIS SHELL A LITTLE BIT.

ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, BUDDY.

-[ LAUGHS ]
-YOU READY?

OH!

[ LANDON SQUEALS ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT'D YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
[ LAUGHS ]

COME ON, LET'S GO.

COME ON.

I FEEL THIS BURDEN
TO BE THERE FOR MY FAMILY

BECAUSE I LOVE THEM.

HERE --
COME HERE.

SO A LOT OF TIMES, THAT MEANS
I DON'T REALLY HAVE THE TIME

TO SLOW DOWN

AND DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
GOING ON IN MY LIFE.

HOLD ON.
WEE!

AT LEAST EVERYONE IS TELLING ME
I'M AVOIDING

DEALING WITH MY EMOTIONS
AND THAT I'M OVEREATING.

SO I'VE GONE BACK
TO THE BASIC DIET PLAN

THAT THE DOCTOR GAVE ME AGAIN,
AND I'M TRYING TO FOLLOW THAT

AND KEEP MY PORTIONS AROUND
1,200 CALORIES A DAY.

BUT IF I'M STILL NOT
MAKING ANY PROGRESS,

I REALLY DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO,

BECAUSE I'M LISTENING
TO THE THERAPIST.

I DON'T WANT
TO START GAINING AGAIN.

NO MATTER WHAT,

I HAVE TO TURN MYSELF AROUND
BEFORE THAT HAPPENS.

**

I'M HOPING TO IMPRESS THE DOCTOR
WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS TODAY...

JUNE McCAMEY?

...SO HE HAS NO REASON

NOT TO APPROVE ME
FOR MY NEXT SURGERY.

I WAS DOWN TO 295
WHEN I LEFT THE HOSPITAL,

SO IF I STAYED ON TRACK,
I SHOULD BE DOWN TO 255 TODAY.

OKAY.

IT IS WHAT IT IS.

IT'S NOT AS MUCH OF A LOSS
AS I WAS HOPING,

BUT I FEEL MY PROGRESS IS GOOD.

I MEAN, HIS NUMBERS FOR HIM
IS HIS NUMBERS,

BUT MY NUMBERS FOR ME --

I FEEL LIKE I'M DOING
PRETTY DOGGONE GOOD.

SO HOPEFULLY,
DR. NOW SEES MY PROGRESS

AND THINKS
I'M READY FOR MY NEXT STEP.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HELLO.
-HEY.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

I'M DOING, I'M DOING.

HOW IS
YOUR SUTURES DOING?

ANY ISSUES?

UM...
IT'S SWOLLEN, BUT NO.

OKAY, THEN YOU'RE
STILL RECOVERING

FROM YOUR SURGERY WELL.

BUT WHAT'S GOING ON
WITH YOUR WEIGHT?

WHEN YOU LEFT THE HOSPITAL,
YOU WERE 295.

NOW YOU'RE 292,

SO YOU AREN'T
LOSING WEIGHT ANYMORE.

I JUST MADE SOME POOR CHOICES,
TO BE HONEST.

WELL, THIS HAS BEEN
A CHRONIC PROBLEM.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN,
RIGHT NOW, UNDER 200 POUNDS,

AND YOU ARE AROUND
300 POUNDS.

THIS IS NOT A SINGLE INCIDENCE
OF POOR CHOICES,

AND THE SAME THING
THAT DRIVE YOU TO EAT BEFORE

IS STILL PLAYING A ROLE
IN YOUR LIFE.

AND YOU HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE

TO GET A HANDLE
ON THAT SITUATION.

I FEEL I'VE GOT A HANDLE ON IT,
BUT THEN I HAVE MOMENTS.

I'M NOT GONNA LIE
AND SAY THAT I DON'T.

Dr. Nowzaradan: JUNE IS NOT
UNDERSTANDING THE ISSUE.

SHE THINKS THAT HER WEIGHT LOSS
SLOWING IS NOT A BIG DEAL

BECAUSE SHE'S FAILING TO SEE
THE WARNING SIGNS.

AND IF SHE DOESN'T WAKE UP NOW,

SHE'S GOING TO START GAINING
BEFORE HER NEXT APPOINTMENT.

SO LOSING 285 POUNDS
IN A YEAR AND A HALF

IS NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

IS THAT
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?

YOU'RE NOT
UNDERSTANDING ME --

IT'S NOT ABOUT
HOW MUCH YOU LOST,

IT'S ABOUT
WHERE YOU'RE AT NOW

AND THE CHOICES
YOU'RE MAKING.

YOU ARE NOT AT YOUR GOAL WEIGHT
OF 200 POUNDS.

THAT'S YOUR THEORY.

I MEAN, YOUR THEORY IS YOU WANT
EVERYBODY AT 200 POUNDS,

BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BE UNDER 200.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE
UNDER 200 POUNDS?

-NO.
-THAT'S FINE.

IT'S NOT ABOUT
BEING AT A NUMBER.

IT IS ABOUT UNDERSTANDING
YOUR EATING DISORDER

AND CORRECTING IT.

YOU'RE JUSTIFYING

LETTING YOUR EATING DISORDER
BACK IN RIGHT NOW,

BUT YOU DON'T GET
THAT ADDICTION

IS LIKE
A SMALL PET YOU FEED.

YOU THINK YOU CAN CONTROL IT
BECAUSE IT'S SMALL,

BUT YOU DON'T REALIZE THAT
IT GROWS AND YOU LOSE CONTROL.

AND YOU'RE ALREADY
LOSING CONTROL.

THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT
FOR JUNE.

SHE HAS TO DECIDE
WHAT SHE'S GOING TO DO --

IF SHE'S GOING TO TAKE CONTROL
OF HER SITUATION AGAIN

OR IF SHE'S GOING TO CONTINUE
MAKING COMPROMISES

AND JUSTIFY IT.

BUT JUNE SEEMS TO BE MOTIVATED
FOR A SKIN-REMOVAL SURGERY,

SO MAYBE THAT'LL BE WHAT
IT TAKES TO GET HER TO REALIZE

WHAT SHE NEEDS TO DO.

I'LL MAKE IT SIMPLE
FOR YOU.

IF YOU WANT SKIN-REMOVAL,
THINK ABOUT FIGURING OUT

HOW TO GET
BACK ON TRACK.

GET CONTROL OF YOUR EATING
DISORDER AND HIT THAT GOAL.

IF NOT,
THEN DO IT YOUR WAY.

SO, LET ME ASK YOU THIS --
IF I GET DOWN TO MAYBE 250,

WILL YOU DO THIS ONE?

IF YOU GET DOWN
UNDER 250, YES.

OKAY.
THAT'S FAIR.

THAT'S FAIR.

BUT IT'S NOT
GONNA BE PRODUCTIVE

IF YOU CONTINUE
GAINING WEIGHT.

RIGHT.

-OKAY?
-OKAY.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU THEN.

**

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

June: TODAY DIDN'T GO
EXACTLY AS I HOPED.

I DON'T AGREE WITH DR. NOW

THAT I'M NOT MAKING
THE PROGRESS THAT I NEED.

BUT IF DR. NOW WANTS ME TO RISE
TO THE CHALLENGE,

THEN I CAN HANDLE THAT,
ESPECIALLY IF THAT MEANS

I GET APPROVED
FOR MY NEXT SKIN REMOVAL.

SO I'M GOING TO RISE
TO THE OCCASION

AND SHOW HIM WHAT I CAN DO.

**

Dottie:
I'M BACK TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN

AND SEEING IF
I STARTED MAKING PROGRESS AGAIN.

I THINK I'M DOING BETTER,
BUT I THOUGHT THAT OTHER TIMES.

MY BIGGEST FEAR RIGHT NOW
IS I MAY HAVE EVEN GAINED.

DOTTIE PERKINS.

SO I'M JUST HOPING AND PRAYING
IT'S A GOOD NUMBER TODAY,

AND IF I'M BACK ON TRACK
MAKING THE PROGRESS

I'M SUPPOSED TO MAKE, THAT
I'LL BE AT 464 POUNDS TODAY.

BUT I'M JUST HOPING
I'M LOSING ANYTHING AGAIN.

AT LEAST IT'S NOT A GAIN,
BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND

HOW I'M STILL NOT
LOSING ANY WEIGHT.

AND I'M SURE DR. NOWZARADAN
IS GONNA BE REALLY CONCERNED,

AND I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE
I'M NEVER GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT.

-HELLO.
-HEY.

-HI.
-HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

WE'RE OKAY.
HOW ARE YOU?

ALL RIGHT.

SO, YOU HAVEN'T LOST
ANY WEIGHT, HUH?

NO.

THE REALITY IS THAT YOU'RE STILL
NOT DEALING WITH THE ISSUES.

YOUR WEIGHT LOSS
HAS SLOWED,

AND NOW IT HAS
COMPLETELY STOPPED.

NOW YOU'RE A COUPLE MONTHS
FROM GAINING AGAIN,

SO WHAT WE NEED
TO DO

IS TO GIVE YOU
THE BYPASS REVISION

AND CONVERT YOUR GASTRIC SLEEVE
TO A FULL BYPASS.

-OKAY.
-OKAY.

DOTTIE IS STILL IN DENIAL
ABOUT HER SITUATION.

SHE KEEPS THINKING
THAT SHE'S MAKING PROGRESS,

BUT THE FACT THAT SHE'S
NO LONGER LOSING ANY WEIGHT

MEANS THAT SHE'S EATING
EVEN MORE NOW.

AND SHE'S ABOUT
TO LOSE CONTROL.

SO WE NEED TO INTERVENE
AND DO REVISION

ON HER WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY
TO MAKE IT MORE AGGRESSIVE

AND REDUCE HER ABILITY TO EAT.

DOTTIE, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
THIS OPERATION

IS NOT
GOING TO SOLVE YOU PROBLEM.

IT'S GOING TO PREVENT YOU
FROM GAINING WEIGHT RIGHT NOW

AND BUY YOU SOME MORE TIME
TO DEAL WITH YOUR ISSUES.

BUT EVEN
WITH A FULL BYPASS,

I THINK YOU'RE GONNA
FAIL THE OPERATION

BECAUSE WHAT IS
EMOTIONALLY DRIVING TO FOOD

IS NOT BEING ADDRESSED
IN YOUR SITUATION.

BUT THIS
IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

YOU UNDERSTAND?
-OKAY.

-ALL RIGHT.
-THANK YOU.

I'LL SEE YOU.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan:
DOTTIE USES FOOD AS A CRUTCH,

AND THIS REVISION
WILL TAKE THAT AWAY FOR NOW.

AND WITH HER ABILITY
TO COPE WITH FOOD REMOVED,

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE
NO OTHER CHOICE

BUT FACE HER EMOTIONS.

SO THIS IS GOING TO BE
A HARD PROCESS FOR HER.

**

Dottie: I THINK THIS OPERATION
IS SOMETHING I NEED,

AND I'M WILLING TO TRY
ANYTHING AT THIS POINT

BECAUSE I DESPERATELY DON'T WANT
TO START GAINING AGAIN.

**

June:
SINCE MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT,

I KNOW I'VE BEEN CRUSHING IT.

I AM NOT MAKING ANY COMPROMISES
WITH MY DIET,

AND I'M STAYING ACTIVE.

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT
THREE DAYS A WEEK

HERE AT THE GYM AT MY APARTMENT.

AND I'M ALSO BACK TO
TAKING MY WALKS TWICE A DAY.

[ TREADMILL BEEPS ]

I PLAN TO GO BACK
TO DR. NOW'S OFFICE NEXT MONTH

AND SHOW HIM
I ROSE TO HIS CHALLENGE.

I HAVE THREE MORE
SKIN SURGERIES TO GO,

AND I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE
I GET MY SECOND ONE SOON.

AND THEN I'M GOING TO
KEEP WORKING HARD

UNTIL I GET ALL OF THEM

SO THAT I CAN BE
COMPLETELY FINISHED

AND HAVE MY WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY
BEHIND ME.

I'M DETERMINED TO DO THIS.

AND I'M WALKING INTO
HIS CLINIC NEXT MONTH,

AND I'M GOING TO WOW HIM
WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS.

**

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, WE'RE
DOING A GASTRIC BYPASS REVISION

TO DOTTIE'S SLEEVE SURGERY.

A GASTRIC SLEEVE
IS A WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY

THAT REDUCES
THE SIZE OF PERSON'S STOMACH

AND PREVENT THEM FROM EATING
TOO MUCH IN ONE SETTING.

OKAY,
STARTING THE FIRST INCISION.

BUT TODAY, WE'RE REDUCING THE
SIZE OF HER STOMACH EVEN MORE.

TURN THE ROOM LIGHT OFF.

THE BYPASS REVISION WILL ALSO
CONNECT THE LOWER PORTION

OF INTESTINE TO HER STOMACH
SO THAT SHE HAS REDUCED ABILITY

TO ABSORB CALORIES
AND GAIN WEIGHT.

AND IT ALSO
WILL CHANGE HER METABOLISM

AND ALTER HER PHYSICAL DRIVE
TO EAT RIGHT NOW.

DON'T GO TOO LATERAL.

FOR ME, IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
TO JUST SIT HERE.

I DON'T KNOW
IF SHE'S HAVING PROBLEMS,

OR THEY JUST TAKE THAT LONG.

BUT DOTTIE
MEANS THE WORLD TO ME,

AND I CAN'T IMAGINE
MY LIFE WITHOUT HER.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS PROCEDURE
IS GOING TO HELP PREVENT DOTTIE

FROM GAINING RIGHT NOW
AND GIVE HER A LITTLE MORE TIME

TO START DEALING WITH
HER ISSUES.

IF SHE DOESN'T DO THAT,
THEN WITHIN SIX MONTHS,

THIS SURGERY WILL FAIL, TOO,
AND SHE'LL START TO GAIN AGAIN.

BUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER
THIS PROCEDURE

IS GOING TO BE A PIVOTAL MOMENT,

BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAKES UP
FROM SURGERY,

SHE'S GOING TO DISCOVER

SHE HAS LITTLE
PHYSICAL DRIVE TO FOOD.

SHE WON'T BE ABLE
TO EAT ANYTHING

THAT SHE HAS BEEN USING TO COPE,

AND WITH THAT
COPING MECHANISM GONE,

SHE'S GOING TO BE FORCED TO DEAL
WITH HER EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW.

SHE'S GOING TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM

AND HAVE TO FACE EVERYTHING
SHE HAS BEEN AVOIDING.

ROOM LIGHT ON.

OKAY.
LET'S CLOSE HER UP.

SO, FOR THE NEXT WEEK,

WE ARE GOING TO NEED
TO KEEP HER HERE TO WATCH HER

AND MAKE SURE THAT WE HELP HER
THROUGH THIS TIME

BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T REALIZE
HOW HARD THIS IS GOING TO BE

AND HOW MUCH PAIN
SHE'S BEEN RUNNING FROM.

ALL RIGHT, ALL FINISHED.

OKAY.
DOTTIE'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL.

SO, THE NEXT WEEK MAY BE

ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT TIMES
OF HER LIFE

BECAUSE SHE HAS SOME HARD DAYS
IN FRONT OF HER.

BUT SHE WILL GET THROUGH IT

AND HOPEFULLY GET BACK ON TRACK
WITH ALL OF THIS.

AND WE'LL BE THERE
TO HELP HER THROUGH IT.

**

June:
DR. NOW GAVE ME A CHALLENGE

AND WANTED ME TO LOSE 40 POUNDS
BY THIS VISIT...

JUNE McCAMEY.

...SO I NEED TO BE DOWN
TO 250 POUNDS.

AND I'M HERE TODAY
TO SHOW HIM NO MATTER WHAT,

I'LL RISE TO THE CHALLENGE.

JUST BECAUSE I HAVE MY OWN PACE

DOESN'T MEAN
I CAN'T DO IT AT HIS.

OH, HE GONNA BE HAPPY
ON THIS ONE.

LET'S SEE HOW HE GONNA REACT
TO THIS ONE.

I GOT IT.
OKAY.

I DID EXACTLY LIKE I SAID.

I'M BACK ON TRACK, AND I KNOW
HE'S GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

I'M CURRENTLY 242,
AND I FEEL DAMN GOOD ABOUT IT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

-HELLO.
-HEY.

-HOW ARE YOU?
-I'M GOOD.

SO, YOU'RE DOWN
TO 242 POUNDS.

AND THAT MEANS YOU LOST
AROUND 350 POUNDS.

-YES, SIR.
-THAT IS GREAT.

SO, YOU'RE BACK
IN CONTROL RIGHT NOW

AND YOU HIT THE GOAL
WE AGREED ON,

SO I'M APPROVING YOU

FOR YOUR SECOND
EXCESS-SKIN REMOVAL.

PERFECT.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M HAPPY
WITH JUNE'S PROGRESS THIS MONTH.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

WAS TO BREAK THE CYCLE
THAT SHE WAS FALLING INTO

SO THAT SHE DIDN'T
START TO GAIN AGAIN,

AND THE CHALLENGE
TO HIT HER GOAL

FOR HER SKIN-REMOVAL
SEEMS TO HAVE MOTIVATED HER

TO GET BACK CONTROL
OF HER EATING HABIT.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

YES.

I'M PROUD OF YOU --
STICK WITH THE PROGRAM.

I'LL SET YOU UP FOR THAT SURGERY
IN ONE MONTH.

I DO APPRECIATE YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ALL RIGHT, JUNE.
SEE YOU LATER.

BYE-BYE.

**

June: I'M VERY PROUD
OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

I SET MY MIND TO IT,
AND I HIT MY GOAL

AND I GOT WHAT I WANT.

TO GO FROM YOUR HEALTH
BEING HORRIBLE,

WHERE IT'S A POSSIBILITY
YOU MAY NOT WAKE UP

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BREATHE,

TO BEING EXTREMELY BLESSED --
IT FEELS GOOD.

IT'S BEEN A JOURNEY.

IT'S BEEN HARD,
BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE IT.

**

Dottie: I'M HERE
TO VISIT DANIEL'S GRAVE.

**

AND IT'S COMING UP
ON A YEAR OF HIM BEING GONE,

AND EMOTIONS ARE REALLY HIGH.

I STILL MISS HIM SO, SO MUCH.

HE WAS SUCH A BIG PART OF ME,

AND LOSING HIM WAS ALMOST LIKE
COMPLETELY LOSING MYSELF.

BUT AFTER
THE GASTRIC BYPASS REVISION,

I COULD HARDLY EAT ANYTHING.

I WAS ON LIQUIDS
FOR A FEW WEEKS,

AND NOW I CAN STILL ONLY EAT
A SMALL PORTION.

AND IT WAS A HUGE SHIFT FOR ME
THAT I WASN'T EVEN READY FOR

BECAUSE I HAD NO IDEA

HOW MUCH I WAS ACTUALLY
STILL EATING.

AND WHEN THAT
WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM ME,

I HAD NOTHING TO FALL BACK ON,

AND I CRASHED HARD
IN THE HOSPITAL.

THERE WERE A COUPLE OF DAYS
I WAS EVEN SUICIDAL.

I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE ALL
THAT WAS BOTTLING UP INSIDE ME,

AND FOOD IS WHAT
MADE ME NUMB TO IT ALL.

I'M DOING A LITTLE BETTER NOW,

BUT I'M FAR
FROM BEING PAST THIS.

AND IF I DON'T
WORK THROUGH IT SOON,

DR. NOWZARADAN SAID THAT
EFFECTS OF THE BYPASS

WILL START TO LESSEN

AND I WILL START TO BE ABLE
TO OVEREAT AGAIN.

SO I NEED TO
DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS.

BUT FOR NOW,
I STARTED LOSING AGAIN,

AND I'VE LOST 37 POUNDS
TO GET DOWN TO 465 POUNDS.

**

BUT I KNOW I HAVE A LOT
TO DEAL WITH STILL

IF I WANT TO KEEP THAT GOING.

SO I'M GONNA KEEP
GOING TO THERAPY

AND TRY TO WORK
ON MY EMOTIONS AND PAIN.

I DON'T THINK I'LL EVER
FULLY GET PAST IT,

BUT IT'S NOT REALLY ABOUT THAT.

IT'S MORE ABOUT
LEARNING HOW TO COPE

AND DEAL WITH IT IN A WAY
THAT'S NOT SELF-DESTRUCTIVE.

THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A HARD YEAR.

BUT WHAT I'VE LEARNED

IS I HAVE TO START
TO DEAL WITH THINGS...

**

...NO MATTER HOW AFRAID I AM.

**

I'M WORKING ON NOT MAKING
MY FAMILY A COMMITMENT

OVER AN ENJOYMENT
AND JUST BEING WITH THEM.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM
AND STILL NOT LOSE MYSELF.

SO CHRIS AND I
ARE MAKING IT A PRIORITY

TO ALLOW LANDON TIME
TO BE A KID...

OH, HE'S AT THE THING!

...AND TAKE HIM OUT
AND HAVE FUN LIKE HE SHOULD.

AND I'M ALREADY SEEING
SUCH A CHANGE IN HIM

FROM JUST THE FEW TIMES
WE'VE DONE IT.

HE'S NOT TALKING MUCH MORE YET,
BUT HE'S ENGAGING A LOT MORE,

WHICH IS A BIG STEP
I'M HAPPY ABOUT.

AND I KNOW I STILL HAVE
A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME.

BUT GOOD OR BAD, I CAN FACE IT,

AND I CAN START TO LEARN
HOW TO DEAL WITH THINGS

IN A WAY THAT'S HEALTHIER
THAN I HAVE IN MY WHOLE LIFE.

SO AS HARD AS THE DAYS AHEAD
MAY BE,

I KNOW THAT I CAN HANDLE IT.

**

I AM GOING SHOPPING THIS MORNING

FOR SOME NEW CLOTHES
FOR THIS NEW BODY.

I'M LOOKING FOR A FORM-FITTING,
LIKE, EVENING DRESS

TO BASICALLY GET BACK OUT THERE
ON THE DATING SCENE.

I'VE LOST OVER
300-AND-SOME POUNDS,

SO I'M LIKE DOWN FROM A 6X
TO 14, 16.

IT FEELS GOOD TO FINALLY
GET BACK TO A SMALLER SIZE --

NOT WHERE I HAVE TO SHOP ONLINE.

TO BE ABLE TO PULL SOMETHING
OFF THE RACK

AND THEN SEE HOW IT LOOKS ON ME
FEELS AMAZING,

AND I'M LOVING HOW I LOOK.

SO NOW I CAN GO GET US
IN TROUBLE.

I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME
FEELS SO MUCH BETTER NOW.

I LOOK A LOT BETTER,
I FEEL A LOT BETTER,

AND I HAVE SO MUCH
MORE CONFIDENCE NOW.

**

THIS TIME TWO YEARS AGO,
I HAD LET THE PAIN

FROM THE DEATH OF MY SON

DRIVE ME
TO SUCH A DESTRUCTIVE PLACE,

AND WHEN I STARTED
TO LET THAT PAIN GO A YEAR AGO,

I STARTED TO BREAK FREE.

AND I'M WORKING ON LETTING GO
OF MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY,

WHETHER IT'S BY FINDING WAYS

TO REMEMBER HIM
OR CELEBRATE HIM.

AND JUST ABOUT EVERY YEAR
AROUND HIS HEAVEN DAY,

THE DAY HE WENT TO HEAVEN,

I THINK ABOUT ADDING SOMETHING
TO THE TATTOO

I HAVE OF MY SON ON MY BACK.

MY SON
IS ON MY BACK...

UH-HUH.

...TODAY'S ACTUALLY
HIS HEAVEN DAY,

AND I NEED --
-A TOUCH-UP?

YEAH, A TOUCH-UP, AND THEN
HIS HEAVEN AND HIS BIRTHDAY.

YEAH, WE CAN DEFINITELY
DO THAT.

AFTER I LOST MACK, I WENT DOWN
THIS REAL DEEP RABBIT HOLE.

NO ONE KNEW THAT I WAS DESTROYED
ON THE INSIDE,

AND THERE'S NOT A DAY THAT
GOES BY THAT I DON'T MISS HIM.

I THINK I WAS REALIZING
HIS HEAVEN DAY WAS COMING,

AND I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO AVOID IT.

BUT I'M PULLING MYSELF
OUT OF IT AGAIN

AND NOT LETTING MYSELF GO THERE.

AND I'VE LEARNED
TO DEAL WITH MY PAIN

SO THAT I CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT.

AND I KNOW I'LL SLIP UP LIKE I
DID WITH MY WEIGHT LOSS SLOWING.

BUT I'M PULLING MYSELF
OUT OF IT AGAIN

AND NOT LETTING MYSELF
FALL BACK INTO THAT PLACE I WAS.

I'M BACK ON TRACK NOW,
AND NOTHING IS SLOWING ME DOWN.

YOU'RE LOOKING
REALLY NICE, MOM.

I'M SCHEDULED TO GET MY NEXT
SKIN REMOVAL IN A COUPLE WEEKS,

AND AFTER THAT,
I'M NOT LETTING UP.

I'LL SEE YOU THE NEXT TIME.
OKAY.

TO FINALLY PUT MACK'S HEAVEN DAY
AND HIS BIRTHDAY ON MY BACK --

IT FEELS GOOD.

I'M JUST SO THANKFUL
FOR MY LIFE NOW,

AND I'M NEVER GOING BACK
TO MY OLD LIFE.

THE NEW JUNE IS HERE,
AND SHE'S HERE TO STAY.

SO THE WORLD BETTER WATCH OUT,
BECAUSE HERE I COME.