Original subtitles

MY BODY'S TAKEN OVER ME.

IT'S DESTROYING MY LIFE.

AND THIS PURE HELL.

IT REALLY IS.

**

Man: NOT FOR ONE MINUTE THAT I THOUGHT MY LIFE

WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

OW! MY LEGS!

Ashley: I'M SO FAR GONE.

Woman #1: I ABSOLUTELY NEED HELP,

OR I AM GONNA DIE.

-I CAN'T DO THIS. -I'M RIGHT UNDER YOU.

-[ Crying ] I NEED OVER! -YOU'RE FINE. YOU'RE FINE.

Woman #2: I FEEL LIKE I LET MY KIDS DOWN.

INSTEAD OF ME TAKING CARE OF THEM,

THEY'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME.

IT'S YOU -- YOU ARE THE ONE KILLING HIM.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR LIFE.

NOT TO HELP YOU TO JUSTIFY KILLING YOURSELF FASTER.

SCREW THIS WHOLE PROCESS. ALL RIGHT.

-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

**

Tanisha: SOMETIMES THE ROAD TO RECOVERY

IS A LOT LONGER THAN YOU EVER REALIZED,

AND YOU HAVE TO DECIDE HOW BAD YOU REALLY WANT IT.

**

[ GROANS ]

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

MY WEIGHT HAS ALMOST TAKEN EVERYTHING FROM ME.

MY BODY'S TAKEN OVER ME.

IT'S DESTROYING MY LIFE.

I FEEL LIKE IT'S TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME --

EVERYTHING.

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M IMPRISONED IN MY OWN BODY.

I DO FEEL LIKE A CAGED ANIMAL.

I DO.

AND THERE'S SOMETHING THAT'S ALWAYS HURTING.

MY KNEES WANT TO BUCKLE, MY BACK FEEL LIKE IT'S BROKEN.

AND IT'S JUST EXCRUCIATING TO EVEN GET UP.

I CAN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE BATHROOM TO START MY DAY.

JUST SOMETHING THAT SIMPLE,

USING THE RESTROOM, IS A STRUGGLE.

OW.

I'M TRAPPED IN THIS BODY AND MY HOME,

AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HELP ANYMORE.

SO MY HUSBAND EMPTIES MY BEDPAN WHEN I'M DONE

AND BRINGS ME WATER AND SOAP SO I CAN TRY AND BATHE MYSELF.

Troy: TANISHA WANTS TO GET OUT THE BED,

BUT SHE SITS IN THE BED ALL DAY

BECAUSE SHE'S OVERWEIGHT,

AND SHE HATE BEING LIKE THAT.

AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL SAD.

Tanisha: MY HUSBAND IS THE ONLY ONE I LET HELP ME,

BECAUSE I NEVER WANT THAT TO BE MY KIDS' JOBS.

I TRY TO WASH MYSELF AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE,

BUT I GET TIRED, AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO MOVE.

SO I CAN'T COMPLETELY DO IT ON MY OWN,

AND I HAVE TO HAVE HELP.

IT'S HUMILIATING.

WHEN YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE

REACH 30 SPOTS THAT YOU CAN'T DO,

IT'S HARD.

[ GRUNTS ]

I FEEL LIKE A CHILD,

BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS TO HELP BATHE ME.

AND WHEN YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF, IT'S HELL.

THIS IS PURE HELL. IT REALLY IS.

AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE

THAT I LET MYSELF GET TO A PLACE LIKE THIS.

I FEEL DISGUSTED.

[ SNIFFLES ]

AND I ALWAYS FEEL, LIKE,

"WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE DIFFERENT TO PREVENT IT?"

[ GROANS, GRUNTS ]

AND I JUST NEVER WOULD HAVE IMAGINED

THIS IS WHAT MY LIFE WOULD END UP LIKE.

WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG,

I DIDN'T REALLY STRUGGLE WITH MY WEIGHT.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A HAPPY CHILDHOOD.

I NEVER GOT TO EVEN HAVE A CHILDHOOD.

MY MOM STRUGGLED WITH ADDICTION TO ALCOHOL AND DRUGS,

AND HER BOYFRIEND WAS A VIOLENT ADDICT,

AND HE WOULD TAKE HIS ANGER OUT ON ME.

BUT I ENDED UP MOVING TO LIVE WITH MY GRANDPARENTS.

AND I WAS HAPPY FOR A BIT,

BUT IT WASN'T MUCH BETTER LIVING WITH THEM,

BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 9,

I WAS MOLESTED BY MY GRANDFATHER,

AND THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO TO STOP IT.

AND THAT'S WHEN I STARTED TO RUN TO FOOD TO FIND PEACE,

'CAUSE WHEN I ATE, NO ONE WAS HURTING ME.

SO, I WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S HOUSE,

AND I STAYED WITH MY MOM PERMANENTLY.

BUT SHE HAD DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIVING IN THE HOUSE WITH US,

AND I WAS MOLESTED BY ONE OF HER BOYFRIENDS.

SO I FELT LIKE I COULDN'T CONTROL WHO TOUCHED MY BODY.

'NISHA HAD TO GROW UP FAST.

SHE HAD TO GROW UP BASICALLY WATCHING HERSELF.

SHE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A CHILDHOOD.

IT BREAKS MY HEART.

Tanisha: SO, I STARTED STAYING OUT AT PARTIES WHEN I WAS 12,

BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME,

BUT ONE NIGHT WHEN I WAS OUT,

A MAN CAME AND PULLED ME BEHIND THE APARTMENT BUILDING,

AND HE RAPED ME ON TOP OF THE AIR-CONDITIONING UNIT.

AND I TOLD MY MOM AT ONE POINT,

AND SHE KIND OF MADE ME FEEL LIKE IT WAS MY FAULT.

I FELT LIKE A PARENT

WAS SUPPOSED TO SHIELD ME FROM ALL THIS.

YOU WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ME,

AND THEN WHEN I'M TELLING YOU THAT THIS IS GOING ON

AND YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,

THAT'S GONNA INSTANTLY MAKE ME DRAW BACK.

AND SO I ATE TO DROWN OUT EVERYTHING ELSE.

AND BY THE TIME I STARTED HIGH SCHOOL,

I WAS AROUND 180 POUNDS.

THE WEIGHT GAIN DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER ME AT THE TIME,

BECAUSE I FELT LIKE,

"OKAY, IF I'M BIG THEY'RE NOT GONNA LIKE ME,

THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE ATTRACTED,

THEY'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO TOUCH ON ME.

BUT IT STARTED TO ATTRACT MEN WHO WANTED ME FOR MY SIZE.

AND WHEN I WAS 15, I WAS DATING SOMEONE,

AND I GOT PREGNANT.

AND DURING THE PREGNANCY,

I PUT ON ANOTHER 40 TO 50 POUNDS

AND WAS AROUND 220.

AND WHEN I HIT THAT WEIGHT,

I WAS JUST DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF.

SO FOR THE NEXT FEW YEARS, I WAS ACTUALLY BULIMIC,

AND I LOST AROUND 70 POUNDS DURING THAT TIME.

WHEN I WAS 24,

I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND BABY,

AND AS THE PREGNANCY WENT ON,

I STARTED TO HAVE A LOT OF COMPLICATIONS,

AND I WASN'T GONNA DO ANYTHING TO HURT MY CHILD,

SO I DIDN'T FORCE MYSELF TO THROW UP ANYMORE.

AND I PROBABLY PUT ON 100 POUNDS IN THE FOLLOWING FEW MONTHS.

AT SEVEN MONTHS INTO MY PREGNANCY,

THINGS GOT SO BAD,

I HAD TO GO ON BED REST UNTIL THE BABY WAS BORN.

MY WEIGHT JUST WENT OUT OF CONTROL,

AND I FOUND MYSELF AT 25 OVER 500 POUNDS,

AND I WAS SO DEPRESSED,

BECAUSE MY BODY WAS WORSE THAN EVER.

SO I COULDN'T GET UP,

AND I STAYED BEDRIDDEN FOR A WHILE.

AND I KEPT EATING AND GAINING.

SO, I ONLY SAW ONE WAY OUT, AND THAT WAS TO KILL MYSELF.

SO I SWALLOWED A BUNCH OF PILLS.

BUT AS SOON AS I DID,

I REGRETTED IT AND MADE MYSELF THROW UP.

SO, I WANTED TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

SO I GAVE MY LIFE OVER TO GOD,

AND I RELIED ON HIM DURING THIS TIME,

AND I WAS ABLE TO START TO GET UP AND MOVE AROUND.

AND THEN THINGS STARTED TO GET A LITTLE BETTER

WHEN I MET TROY IN AN ONLINE CHAT ROOM.

Troy: I WAS ATTRACTED TO TANISHA 'CAUSE HER PERSONALITY

AND HER HEART ARE STILL RIGHT THERE.

THAT'S WHO I REALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH,

SO, THE SIZE, I DIDN'T SEE THAT.

THOUGH, SHE COULD JUST MOVE AROUND

AND BATHE HERSELF LIKE SHE WANTED TO

AND COOK WHEN SHE WANT TO, STUFF LIKE THAT.

Tanisha: NINE MONTHS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP, HE PROPOSED.

SO WE GOT MARRIED,

AND HE'S BEEN THERE FOR ME AND THE KIDS EVER SINCE.

YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOR SEVEN YEARS NOW.

BUT MY WEIGHT GAIN HAS NEVER REALLY SLOWED DOWN,

'CAUSE I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TURN AWAY FOOD.

A COUPLE OF YEARS BACK, MY MOM KICKED HER DRUG HABIT

AND GAVE HER LIFE TO CHRIST, TOO,

AND WE WERE ABLE TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP FOR A FEW YEARS.

AT ONE POINT, SHE FINALLY SAID "I'M SORRY."

"I'M SORRY FOR THE DRUG USE.

I'M SORRY FOR NOT PROTECTING YOU,

I'M SORRY FOR NOT BELIEVING YOU,

I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GROW UP FASTER THAN YOU SHOULD HAVE,

I'M SORRY THAT I DIDN'T DO MY JOB AS YOUR MOM,"

AND THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR.

BUT SHE WAS ADDICTED TO FOOD, TOO,

AND WAS CLOSE TO 700 POUNDS.

'NISHA'S MOM BECAME BEDRIDDEN LATER ON

AS SHE PROGRESSED WITH HER WEIGHT,

AND THAT WEIGHT JUST ACCUMULATED OVER THE YEARS

AND IT ACCUMULATED FAST.

Tanisha: WE DECIDED WE WERE GONNA LOSE WEIGHT TOGETHER.

I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO

"MAMA, WE GOT A LOT OF YEARS LEFT.

WE GOT TIME."

AND WE DIDN'T.

[ SNIFFLES ]

AND THEN SHE WAS FOUND DEAD IN HER HOME ALONE

BECAUSE HER BODY COULDN'T HANDLE IT ANYMORE.

THAT WAS MY DARKEST MOMENT.

[ Voice breaking ] MY MOM WAS YOUNG.

50 IS STILL YOUNG.

BUT I KNOW RIGHT NOW THAT'S WHERE I'M HEADED,

AND THAT SCARES ME.

AND NOW, I SPEND MOST OF MY DAY IN THIS BED,

TRAPPED IN THIS ROOM,

BARELY ABLE TO FUNCTION ON MY OWN

ALL BECAUSE I CAN'T STOP EATING.

AND NOW I'M NOT REALLY LIVING,

SO I DON'T EVEN CONSIDER MYSELF TO HAVE A LIFE,

BECAUSE THE SIMPLEST THINGS TO DO IS HARD,

AND I JUST HATE IT.

OKAY, COME ON.

I FEEL LIKE I'M SLIPPING.

OKAY.

BUT TROY TAKES CARE OF EVERYTHING.

AND IF HE DOESN'T, IT MAKES ME UPSET,

ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M HUNGRY,

BECAUSE WHEN I CRAVE SOMETHING, I JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT.

I HAVE A LOT OF FAMILY AROUND.

MY COUSINS AND THEIR KIDS

ARE IN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE ALL DAY,

SO I ALWAYS HAVE SOMEONE TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT.

LIKE, WHEN I'M READY TO EAT, I DON'T LIKE TO WAIT.

SO TROY BRINGS MY FOOD.

HARRY, YOU GOT THERE HOW MANY CHALUPAS?

I KNOW I'M ENDING UP JUST LIKE MY MOM DID,

AND I DON'T WANT THIS FOR ME OR MY CHILDREN.

MY DAUGHTER Jer'Monika IS 16 YEARS OLD,

AND MY OTHER DAUGHTER MALAYZHA'S 8 YEARS OLD NOW,

AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

BUT IT'S LIKE, SOMETIMES I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

MAL, GIVE ME A PEACH SODA, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

BUT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULDN'T BE AT THE POINT

WHERE I HAVE TO PUT MY CHILDREN IN THE SAME SITUATION

THAT I WAS IN WITH MY MOM.

MY MOM -- SHE STAYS A LOT IN HER ROOM,

AND IT MAKES ME SAD

BECAUSE IF WE COULD SWITCH PLACES --

ME HAVING ALL THAT WEIGHT ON ME, AND SHE COULD GO OUT AND PLAY --

I WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY,

'CAUSE I COULD SEE HER GO OUT AND HAVE FUN

INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IN THE HOUSE.

Tanisha: I'M DEFINITELY MAD AT MYSELF,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE MY WEIGHT IS OUT OF CONTROL.

BUT WHEN I'M EATING,

I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE.

I'M JUST LIKE, "OH, GOD, YES," YOU KNOW.

BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH.

I DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE,

I DON'T DO ANY OTHER TYPE OF DRUGS OR ANYTHING ELSE,

SO I THINK FOOD IS MY DRUG,

AND I CAN'T STOP.

I NEED HELP, AND I NEED IT NOW,

'CAUSE I'M KNOCKING ON DEATH'S DOOR,

AND IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE ANSWERS.

I THINK ABOUT --

ARE MY KIDS GONNA COME IN ONE DAY

AND FIND ME DEAD?

WHO WANTS TO THINK ABOUT THAT?

I KNOW I HAVE TO STOP LIVING LIKE THIS,

OR I'M JUST GONNA GO TO SLEEP AND NEVER WAKE UP.

**

Tanisha: I AM REALLY NERVOUS TODAY,

BECAUSE I'M GOING TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN.

YOU GET UP THERE.

I'VE WANTED TO GET HELP FOR A WHILE,

SO THE FACT THAT I'M FINALLY DOING THIS

IS A BIG DEAL FOR ME.

A LITTLE NERVOUS,

MORE SO READY TO, YOU KNOW, GET THERE

AND SEE WHAT HE HAS TO SAY

AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

Tanisha: THIS VISIT IS VERY IMPORTANT.

THIS IS LIKE A MAKE-OR-BREAK SITUATION FOR ME.

I'VE TRIED OTHER DIET THINGS, I'VE TALKED TO OTHER DOCTORS.

THIS IS IT.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

I LOVE YOU, MAMA. LOVE YOU.

Tanisha: I'M JUST TRYING TO PREPARE MYSELF MENTALLY,

BUT I'M VERY ANXIOUS,

BECAUSE THE WORST FEAR FOR ME A "NO."

A "NO" TO ME IS A "NO" TO MY LIFE.

READY, MAMA? YEP. LET'S GO.

OKAY, HANG ON TO MY SHOULDER.

OH, I MIGHT NEED IT, BABY.

Tanisha: I FEEL LIKE GOD HAS BROUGHT ME TO THIS.

HE'S OPENED UP A DOOR FOR ME,

SO I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO GIVE.

MY SIZE HAS TAKEN AWAY MY INDEPENDENCE,

TAKEN AWAY MY FREEDOM,

AND I HAVE CHILDREN THAT I NEED TO LIVE FOR.

SO I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, AND I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.

I NEED THE HELP. OH, LORD.

THE DOCTOR'S ONLY ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AWAY FROM ME,

AND I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT THE PAIN

OF BEING IN THE CAR THAT LONG.

BUT I KNOW IT'S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY

TO TRY AND GET HELP

AND THAT I CAN HANDLE IT.

Tanisha: WE JUST GOT TO HOUSTON.

YOU KNOW, I'M A BALL OF EMOTIONS RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING ABOUT MY MOM

AND, YOU KNOW, HOW I LOST HER DUE TO ALL OF THIS,

SO I'M -- A LOT OF THINGS WORRY ME.

IF IT'S A "NO," YOU KNOW,

"COULD THAT BE ME NEXT?" YOU KNOW.

SO, I'M WORRIED

BUT TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE AT THE SAME TIME.

Tanisha: WHAT I'M ABOUT TO BE TOLD IS OUT OF MY CONTROL.

SO THIS ALL JUST MAKES ME NERVOUS.

AND WHEN YOU'RE AS BIG AS I AM,

THERE'S NEVER A MOMENT

WHEN YOU AREN'T SCARED OF THE SCALE.

OH, GOD.

AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY WEIGHT IS,

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN WEIGHED IN YEARS.

Malayzha: LOOK AT THAT.

THAT'S HIGHER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

IT'S A LITTLE SHOCKING, BUT THAT'S WHY I'M HERE --

TO CHANGE THAT.

I DESPERATELY NEED A DOCTOR'S HELP,

AND I'M PRAYING TO GOD THAT HE CAN DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

Tanisha: OH, MY GOD.

HEY! Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO.

I'M SO EXCITED.

I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. HOW ARE YOU?

SO, YOU'VE BEEN BATTLING WITH YOUR WEIGHT

QUITE A WHILE, HUH?

IT'S BEEN MANY YEARS.

WHAT SEEMS TO BE YOUR BIGGEST CHALLENGE

WITH YOUR DIET?

SWEETS, SODAS.

OKAY, HOW MANY SODAS DO YOU DRINK A DAY?

OOH!

I CAN DRINK A 12-PACK,

MAYBE A LITTLE MORE SOMETIMES.

IT JUST DEPENDS.

SO, WHAT DO YOU EAT?

SOMETIMES FAST FOOD,

"LET'S GO GRAB A BURGER, PIZZA."

I'LL HAVE A SNACK -- YOU KNOW, I LIKE MY CHOCOLATE,

MAYBE SOME CHIPS SOME TIME.

DINNER USUALLY COMES 8:00, 9:00, 10:00 AT NIGHT

THEN I HAVE WHATEVER I'M GONNA EAT FOR DINNER --

MOSTLY BURGERS OR PIZZA.

SO, WHO BUYS THOSE?

WHO IS YOUR ENABLER?

Tanisha: I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SAY.

WHO ARE YOU POINTING AT? HE IS, YOU KNOW.

IT'S LIKE WHATEVER I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT IT.

IF I WANT -- "OKAY. I'LL GO GET IT," YOU KNOW.

SO HE DOES -- HE'S MY ENABLER.

EVERYBODY REALLY IS.

OKAY, TANISHA. THE TIME TO CHANGE IS NOW.

SO, WE'RE NOT GONNA BUY THIS STUFF.

OKAY. OKAY?

TANISHA IS GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING CASE.

AT 5'1", THAT WEIGHT IS EXTREMELY OUT OF CONTROL.

SHE'S PROPORTIONALLY EQUAL TO 700 POUNDS

FOR SOMEONE OF MORE AVERAGE HEIGHT.

SO HER BODY IS BEING PUSHED TO THE LIMIT RIGHT NOW,

AND ONCE SHE BECOMES COMPLETELY IMMOBILE,

SHE WON'T LIVE MUCH LONGER AT THAT POINT.

SO, HOW DO YOU SEE THAT THE SURGERY

IS GONNA CHANGE ANY OF THIS?

I FEEL LIKE IT'S GIVEN ME HOPE,

IT'S GIVEN ME SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

YOU KNOW, IT'S GONNA CUT WHAT I --

OKAY, NO, NO. THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH.

GIVE ME "HOW" -- I MEAN --

...THE MOTIVATION, "HOW."

BECAUSE THE REALITY IS THAT

THE SURGERY IS GONNA HELP ONE ASPECT OF YOUR EATING.

YEAH, BUT IT'S GOT TO BE ME WITH THE OTHER PART --

CUTTING BACK ON THE FOOD INTAKE,

CUTTING BACK ON THE SODAS, THE SWEETS,

THE OUTSIDE SNACKING,

YOU KNOW, THE FAST FOOD. CORRECT.

YOU KNOW, THE TYPE OF FOOD THAT YOU EAT

IS GONNA BE YOUR CHOICE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE FREQUENCY THEN IS GONNA BE YOUR CHOICE...

MY CHOICE -- THAT'S RIGHT.

...AND THE PORTION CONTROL COMES WITH THE SURGERY.

IN ORDER TO BE PREPARED FOR SURGERY,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET A HANDLE ON ALL THOSE THINGS.

AND THEN IF YOU GET TO THAT POINT,

THEN SURGERY WILL BE A GOOD OPTION FOR YOU.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TANISHA HAS AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING

BEFORE I EVEN TELL HER.

SO SHE LIKES TO STAY IN CONTROL,

AND SHE'S THE ONE WHO CLEARLY RUNS THE HOUSEHOLD.

SO THE WHOLE DYNAMIC OF WHAT NEEDS TO CHANGE AT HOME

REVOLVES AROUND HER.

YOU'RE ONLY 32,

AND AT THE WEIGHT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW,

YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH LONGER LIKE THIS.

SO THIS IS THE TIME TO CHANGE BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE,

AND THE PROCESS STARTS

FROM CHANGING YOUR EATING HABIT, OKAY?

THERE'LL BE NO SODA, THERE'LL BE NO CHOCOLATE.

YOU'RE GONNA EAT ONLY PROTEIN AND NO CARBS.

EAT ONLY TWO OR THREE TIMES A DAY --

NO SNACKING IN BETWEEN.

AND I'M GOING TO PUT YOU ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET,

AND WITH THAT,

I WANT YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH.

IF YOU CHOOSE TO STICK WITH THE INSTRUCTION

THAT WE GIVE YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA BE SUCCESSFUL.

BUT IF YOU EAT WHATEVER AND WHENEVER,

LIKE YOU'RE EATING NOW,

10 YEARS AFTER SURGERY,

YOU'RE GONNA BE AT THE SAME PLACE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I KNOW THESE UNHEALTHY EATING HABITS --

THEY DID NOT DEVELOP OVERNIGHT.

I DON'T EXPECT THEM TO GO AWAY OVERNIGHT,

BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE DRASTIC CHANGES RIGHT NOW.

OKAY, THEN. ALL RIGHT.

FINE. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELL, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME HOMEWORK.

OKAY. OKAY?

MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT.

OKAY. OKAY?

BECAUSE IT'S VERY IMPORTANT

THAT YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PROBLEM IS

AND WHAT THE SOLUTION'S GONNA BE.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

Tanisha: I KNOW I HAVE TO DO WHAT THE DOCTOR IS TELLING ME.

I'M NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, AND I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD.

BUT I KNOW THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE TO HAVE A LIFE.

THERE'S SO MUCH I WANT TO DO IN MY LIFE.

FOR ME TO STAY WHERE I'M AT,

IT MEANS NOTHING BUT DEATH TO ME.

SO, NO MATTER HOW HARD THIS IS, I'M READY FOR IT.

**

TROY, WHERE'S MY SALAD?

OH.

I'VE BEEN WORKING HARD THESE LAST FEW WEEKS

ADAPTING TO THE DOCTOR'S DIET.

BUT IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.

AND I'M STARVING,

BECAUSE I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING I REALLY WANT

OR NEARLY THE AMOUNT THAT I WANT.

BASICALLY, I CUT BACK.

NO SODAS, NO CHOCOLATES --

AND I'VE BEEN EATING LOTS MORE SALAD,

AND THAT'S IT.

IT'S HARD, BUT I'M DEALING WITH IT.

AND THE LAST MONTH HAS BEEN MORE HARD FOR ME TO FOCUS,

BECAUSE I DID JUST LOSE MY MOM,

AND USUALLY WHEN I'M EMOTIONAL, I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER.

SO THIS IS THE TIME

THAT I WILL USUALLY GO TO MY SNACKS AND FAST FOODS

AND JUST DROWN MYSELF IN WHATEVER.

BUT LOSING HER TO OBESITY --

I JUST DON'T WANT MY KIDS TO GO THROUGH THE SAME THING,

SO I HAVE TO LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.

AND EVEN THOUGH I LOST MY MOM,

I'M STILL HERE WITH MY CHILDREN.

WHAT IS THE PURPLE STUFF IN THERE?

IT'S LIKE LETTUCE. COME ON.

SO I'M PUSHING MYSELF HARD

TO LOSE EVERY POUND I CAN,

AND I'M GOING TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

BUT I KNOW I HAVE NO CHANCE LONG TERM WITHOUT SURGERY.

I'M REALLY HOT.

Troy: [ COUGHS ]

I THINK IT'S REALLY COLD IN HERE.

Tanisha: I'M HERE FOR MY FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT WITH DR. NOW.

OH, JESUS!

AND I'VE BEEN PRAYING NONSTOP FOR TODAY

AND THAT THE SCALE WILL BE DOWN TO THE NUMBER I NEED.

MS. CLEVELAND?

I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THIS IS MY CHANCE TO TURN MY LIFE AROUND,

AND I'VE WORKED AS HARD AS I CAN THIS PAST MONTH.

SO NOW IT'S ALL IN GOD'S HANDS.

**

[ GRUNTS ]

Tanisha: DR. NOW SAID I NEED TO LOSE 30 POUNDS

TO GET UNDER 558,

AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY.

BUT THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

SO MY LIFE IS IN GOD'S HANDS.

WHOO! Troy: WHAT DID I SAY?

YES! GO AHEAD.

LOOK! THANK GOD.

WHOO! I AM EXCITED! YES.

Tanisha: PRAISE GOD.

I AM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE I WAS SO WORRIED THAT NOTHING I WAS DOING

WAS GONNA HAVE AN EFFECT.

BUT I'M LOSING WEIGHT,

AND I HOPE THE DOCTOR SEES

HOW READY I AM FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

IT'S GONNA BE A LONG ROAD, IT'S A LONG JOURNEY,

BUT I'M DOING IT,

AND I'M PROUD OF MY PROGRESS.

HELLO. HI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? HOW Y'ALL DOING?

I'M FINE. HOW ARE YOU?

I'M DOING OKAY.

HOW ABOUT YOU? GOOD.

SO, YOU LOST ABOUT, WHAT, 11 POUNDS?

11 POUNDS. SO, ARE YOU HAPPY WITH THAT?

IT'S A START. I'M VERY HAPPY.

BUT YOU LOST LESS THAN HALF YOUR GOAL.

AND IF YOU HAD BEEN FOLLOWING THE DIET,

YOU WOULD EASY HAVE LOST 30 POUNDS.

SO THAT MEANS THAT YOU ARE NOT DOING

WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.

OKAY.

ARE WE BORING YOU? Troy: YEP.

AND YOU AGREE WITH HER

THAT SHE'S DOING OKAY WITH THE DIET?

IS HE STILL AN ENABLER --

Tanisha: NO, 'CAUSE I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING.

YOU'RE THE ENABLER FOR YOURSELF?

NO. I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING.

I HAVEN'T ASKED FOR THE FAST FOOD,

NO SODAS, NO SNACKS.

I DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING, SO...

TANISHA CAME IN VERY EXCITED ABOUT HER PROGRESS.

BUT IF SHE HAD ACTUALLY BEEN ON A 1,200-CALORIE-DAY DIET,

SHE SHOULD HAVE HAD NO PROBLEM

LOSING THE WEIGHT I EXPECT HER TO LOSE,

AND THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME TENSION

BETWEEN HER AND HER HUSBAND,

WHICH MAKES ME WONDER

IF HER HUSBAND MAY FEEL THREATENED

THAT HE'S LOSING HIS FUNCTION IN THE RELATIONSHIP,

AND THAT'S ADDING ANOTHER ISSUE THAT WE NEED TO RESOLVE.

ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO

IS GO BACK AND MAKE THE PROGRESS I TOLD YOU MAKE,

AND LOSE 30 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH

TO SHOW ME THAT YOU CAN DO THIS.

OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD. ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

YOU DOING OKAY?

LOOK AT THE SMILE --

THAT'S THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT BORED.

OKAY. [ LAUGHS ]

Tanisha: I THOUGHT I DID ENOUGH

TO SHOW DR. NOW I'M READY FOR THIS,

BECAUSE IT'S BEEN YEARS

SINCE I'VE LOST WEIGHT AT ALL.

AND I FEEL LIKE HE DOWNPLAYED MY PROGRESS,

AND I DON'T THINK TROY'S BEING VERY SUPPORTIVE EITHER...

OKAY, HOLD ON.

...AND I DON'T WANT TO FAIL.

AND I FEEL LIKE IF I DON'T GET THIS SURGERY,

HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I LIVE?

HOW MUCH MORE LIFE WILL I HAVE IN ME,

HOW MUCH MORE TIME WILL MY CHILDREN HAVE WITH ME?

AFTER MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT A FEW MONTHS AGO,

TROY AND I STARTED FIGHTING

BECAUSE I FELT LIKE HE WASN'T BEING SUPPORTIVE OF ME

TRYING TO GET MY LIFE TURNED AROUND FOR THE BETTER.

SO HE DECIDED TO LEAVE.

IT WAS DEFINITELY PAINFUL.

I'M THINKING THIS IS MY SOUL MATE,

THIS THE PERSON I'M GONNA SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH,

AND I DIDN'T KNOW HOW I WAS GONNA MAKE IT FOR A WHILE,

'CAUSE I'M -- LIKE, THIS IS THE MAN

THAT HELPS ME WITH EVERYTHING, BASICALLY,

YOU KNOW, WITH THE COOKING, THE CLEANING, RUNNING ERRANDS,

YOU KNOW, TAKING CARE OF ME PERSONALLY.

AND WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE THAT, YOU KNOW, IT WAS LIKE,

"GOD, WHAT AM I GONNA DO?"

SO, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO MAKE TIME

FOR ANY SORT OF DIET OR WEIGHT LOSS RIGHT NOW.

[ SIGHS ]

HOW CAN I WORRY ABOUT MY WEIGHT

WHEN I HAVE THE WEIGHT OF MY WHOLE HOUSE ON ME?

SO, I'M JUST TAKING A BREAK RIGHT NOW...

...AND I'M NOT SURE WHEN I'M GONNA GO BACK TO DR. NOWZARADAN.

I NEED TO BE THERE FOR MY KIDS RIGHT NOW.

BUT ALL THIS MOVING AROUND AND ACTIVITY

IS TAKING A BIG TOLL ON MY BODY,

AND I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN MOST OF THE DAY.

FOR ME TO GET TO WHERE I NEED TO BE,

I HAVE TO PUSH MYSELF,

SO I TRY TO WORK THROUGH THE PAIN.

BUT IT'S A STRUGGLE AT TIMES.

SO I'M NOT SURE HOW I'M GONNA KEEP DOING THIS.

HEY, PUD. HI.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY? GOOD.

WHAT'D YOU DO AT SCHOOL? YEAH?

WHAT'D YOU DO AT SCHOOL?

NO HOMEWORK? MNH-MNH.

PAPERS, THOUGH.

YOU NEED TWO...

I TRIED MY BEST.

THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK EVERY TIME.

[ LAUGHS ]

MM!

NOW, PUT THIS WHERE I PUT THE PAPERS.

Tanisha: WHEN I JUST NEED ESCAPE,

FOOD IS THE OPTION I NEED RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THAT HELPS ME TO KEEP GOING

AND RUN THIS HOUSE

AND TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS LIKE THEY NEED.

AND MY CHILDREN COME FIRST.

Malayzha: I'VE NOTICED THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN DIE

FROM HAVING ALL THAT WEIGHT,

AND IT JUST MAKES ME WORRY THAT MY MAMA'S GONNA DIE.

IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME,

BECAUSE WHILE I'M SEEING ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE

DOING STUFF WITH THEIR MOMS,

IT MAKES ME SAD THAT I CAN'T DO THAT STUFF WITH MY MOM.

I FEEL LIKE SOMETIMES IT'S MY FAULT

BECAUSE SHE STARTED GAINING THE WEIGHT

WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT WITH ME.

AND I FELT LIKE IT'S MY FAULT,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I PUT ALL THAT WEIGHT ON HER.

I WISH FOR MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE

IS FOR MY MOM TO LOSE WEIGHT

SO SHE CAN DO MORE STUFF WITH US.

Tanisha: I'M THEIR MOM, AND THEY NEED ME RIGHT NOW

AND FOOD HELPS ME COPE,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHEN MY SITUATION'S GONNA CHANGE

SO I CAN GO BACK TO TRYING TO GET HELP.

IT'S BEEN A HARD FEW MONTHS,

BUT THINGS HAVE STARTED TO GET BETTER.

SO I'VE DECIDED TO GET BACK ON THE PROGRAM

AND GO SEE DR. NOW.

I'M VERY NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN FOLLOWING ANYTHING,

SO I'M EXPECTING WEIGHT GAIN AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

I'M FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF

BECAUSE I COULD HAVE TRIED TO EXERCISE BETTER,

WATCH WHAT I EAT,

BUT 'CAUSE I'M DEALING WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS,

I WASN'T EVEN THINKING LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW, I JUST WENT BACK TO MY OLD WAYS.

I ALLOWED LIFE AND EVERYTHING I WAS GOING THROUGH

TO SIDETRACK ME,

BUT, YOU KNOW, I'M READY.

I'M IN A DIFFERENT SPACE, SO I'M READY TO MOVE FORWARD.

SEPARATING FROM TROY WAS DEFINITELY HARD FOR ME,

BUT NOW A LOT OF THINGS ARE BETTER IN MY LIFE,

AND I'M READY TO TRY AGAIN, BECAUSE I'M HAPPY NOW.

I HAVE A NEW MAN IN MY LIFE.

HIS NAME IS DAVID.

THANK YOU.

WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS FOR OVER 12 YEARS,

AND WITH MY SEPARATION

AND ALL THAT, YOU KNOW, WE WERE STILL JUST FRIENDS.

HE WAS STILL SUPPORTING ME,

AND WE JUST KIND OF TRANSITIONED INTO A RELATIONSHIP.

David: WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS

BEFORE ANY TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP CAME INTO PLAY,

SO, YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT WAS JUST A NATURAL TRANSITION.

SHE'S JUST FULL OF LIFE, YOU KNOW?

AND WHO WOULDN'T BE DRAWN TO THAT?

IT'S WHY I LOVE HER TO DEATH.

WELL, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?

[ SIGHS ] JUST NOT FEELING GOOD --

MY LEGS HURT IN THE DAY AND MY STOMACH GOING...

THIS IS ALL NERVES OR WHATEVER.

WHY ARE YOU NERVOUS?

WELL, I'M NOT SURE WHAT HE'S GONNA SAY.

I'M PRAYING FOR GOOD NEWS, THOUGH.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THOUGH --

I LOOK CUTE TODAY, SO THAT'S A PLUS FOR ME.

YEAH, HE'S GONNA THINK SO, TOO.

David: I WORRY ABOUT TANISHA A LOT,

BECAUSE IT WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO HER KIDS

IF SOMETHING HAPPENED IN OUR FAMILY,

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST IRREPLACEABLE.

BUT I'M FEELING HOPEFUL

THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE NUMBERS SAY

THAT THE DOCTOR WILL STILL SEE

THAT SHE'S WANTING TO DO THIS,

NOT ONLY FOR THE SHORT TERM BUT THE LONG TERM,

AND TRY TO HELP HER THE BEST HE CAN,

BECAUSE THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE THAT WANT TO SEE HER SUCCEED.

Tanisha: [ SIGHS ]

DAVID WILL BE WITH ME AT DR. NOW'S TODAY,

BUT I'M ALREADY NERVOUS

AND NOT SURE WHAT THE SCALE'S GONNA SAY,

WHAT DR. NOW'S GONNA SAY,

SO HAVING HIM THERE WILL DEFINITELY COMFORT ME.

WORST-CASE SCENARIO IS THAT I HAVEN'T LOST THE WEIGHT

AND DR. NOW TURNS ME AWAY.

BUT I JUST HOPE HE LETS ME COME BACK AND TRY AGAIN,

AND THAT ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME

DIDN'T CAUSE ME TO LOSE MY ONLY CHANCE TO GET HIS HELP.

**

Tanisha: TODAY I'M GOING BACK TO SEE DR. NOW.

IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS SINCE I WENT BACK TO SEE HIM,

AND I'M REALLY HOPING HE TAKES ME BACK.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET,

BUT I HAD A LOT OF THINGS ON MY PLATE

THAT I DIDN'T EXPECT,

SO I HAD TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF.

BUT I'M READY NOW TO TRY AGAIN

AND GET BACK TO DOING WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING.

I KNOW I PROBABLY GAINED A LITTLE WEIGHT

SINCE I'VE SEEN HIM LAST.

WE'RE AT IT AGAIN.

I JUST HOPE HE'S NOT TOO UPSET AND THAT HE TAKES ME BACK.

BACK WHERE I STARTED.

MY GOD.

IT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT, BUT I'M DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY.

Tanisha: I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

LIKE, EVERYTHING THAT I LOST, I'VE GAINED BACK.

I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF.

YOU KNOW, I'LL SAY THE NUMBERS DON'T LIE,

SO I HAVE TO FACE REALITY,

AND I KNOW THAT THE ROAD THAT I'M GOING

IS DEFINITELY NOT HEALTHY.

HELLO. HELLO, HOW ARE YOU.

ALL RIGHT. HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?

ALL RIGHT.

TELL ME WHAT'S HAPPENING.

WELL, I KNOW I SEE I'VE GAINED.

BASICALLY, EVERYTHING THAT I LOST,

I'VE GAINED IT BACK.

SO, I'M DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU FOR SIX MONTHS.

LIFE CHANGES IN GENERAL --

NOT MAKING ANY EXCUSE,

BUT DEFINITELY DIFFERENT, STRESSFUL SITUATIONS,

NOT THE RIGHT SUPPORT, THINGS LIKE THAT,

AND I ALLOWED IT TO GET TO ME.

BUT I KNOW I WASN'T DOING WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO.

I WASN'T EATING RIGHT, YOU KNOW, MOVING,

ANYTHING LIKE THAT, SO...

SO, LET ME EXPLAIN THE SITUATION TO YOU.

YOU GAINED MORE WEIGHT,

AND YOUR BMI IS 100.

100.

THAT'S VERY HIGH RISK FOR ANY KIND OF SITUATION.

IF YOU GET EVEN THE FLU,

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

SO, I DON'T THINK YOU REALIZE

HOW DANGEROUS THIS SITUATION IS.

I DEFINITELY REALIZE THAT.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I'M REACHING OUT.

WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION PROBLEM,

YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE SUPPORT,

THE MOTIVATION, ALL OF THAT,

AND I HAVE A BETTER SUPPORT SYSTEM NOW,

AND I'M JUST --

I'M READY TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO.

AND SO, TELL ME ABOUT

WHAT'S GONNA BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME?

[ SIGHS ]

I WAS DEALING WITH A HUSBAND

THAT WAS NEVER THERE, NEVER SUPPORTED ME,

STILL DEALING WITH THE DEATH OF MY MOM.

SO I'M NOW I'M GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE

AND, YOU KNOW --

BASICALLY ALL THE NEGATIVE THING ARE GONE.

TANISHA ESSENTIALLY JUST DECIDED TO QUIT THE PROGRAM

FOR THE PAST SIX MONTHS,

AND MY BIGGEST CONCERN IS HER BELIEF

THAT THE STRESS AND HARD TIME

JUSTIFY ABUSING HER BODY LIKE SHE HAS.

BUT, HOPEFULLY, SHE'S NOT BACK

ONLY UNTIL SOMETHING STRESSFUL HAPPENS AGAIN.

I REALLY DOUBT THAT YOU'RE GONNA MAKE

ANY SIGNIFICANT CHANGES FROM LAST TIME,

BUT I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A CHANCE, OKAY?

THANK YOU.

HERE'S THE LIST AGAIN.

SO YOU CAN GO BACK TO A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET.

THIS IS A LIST OF ALL ITEMS AND FOR THE FOOD

THAT YOU NEED TO AVOID, OKAY?

SO YOU'VE RUN OUT OF EXCUSES.

NOW IT'S TIME TO CHANGE.

AND I WANT YOU TO LOSE 30 POUNDS OVER THE NEXT MONTH,

JUST LIKE YOUR FIRST TIME.

OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD.

SO, WE'RE GONNA MAKE THE CHANGES, RIGHT?

DEFINITELY.

AND, DAVID, I HOPE YOU WILL HELP HER TO DO THIS.

YOU KNOW, I'LL DO THE BEST I CAN,

BUT I KNOW SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DO IT.

ALL RIGHT.

GOD.

HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE JUST PUT ON HERE

"DON'T EAT NOTHING."

LORD.

WHEN YOU HAVE A DOCTOR SAYING, "HEY," YOU KNOW,

"IF YOU DON'T GET THIS UNDER CONTROL,

THAT'S IT," YOU KNOW, "YOU'RE NOT GONNA LIVE."

THAT'S A REALITY CHECK.

AND I KNOW I HAVE TO REALLY PROVE MYSELF THIS TIME.

SO I'M GONNA WORK HARDER THAN BEFORE TO HIT HIS GOAL

SO I CAN GET APPROVED FOR SURGERY.

BUT I'M FEELING HOPEFUL...

...AND FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE TO DO IT.

**

SINCE I LAST SAW THE DOCTOR,

I'VE BEEN FULLY COMMITTED TO THE DIET,

AND I'M ONLY EATING WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE EATING.

I CAN HONESTLY SAY THIS TIME AROUND,

I HAVE HAD NO SET BACKS,

BECAUSE THE MORE I DO IT,

THE MORE IT'S BECOMING NATURAL TO ME.

I GET MY LITTLE PORTION TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY,

AND THAT'S IT.

SCOOT.

IT'S REALLY NOT BAD, THOUGH.

LIKE, I COULD EAT IT ON A REGULAR BASIS,

ESPECIALLY EATING LIKE THIS.

I REALLY COULD.

AND I'M ALSO MAKING MY DAUGHTERS

STICK TO WHAT I EAT WITH ME.

Jer'Monika: NOT BAD.

UGH! YOU SAY "UGH" NOW.

I'M TRYING TO PREVENT YOU FROM GETTING THIS SIZE.

IT'S NOT NO FUN.

Tanisha: I THINK THE LIFESTYLE CHANGE

HAS AFFECTED EVERYONE IN A POSITIVE WAY,

BECAUSE THEY SEE ME GETTING UP AND DOING THINGS FOR MYSELF

AND GETTING UP AND WANTING TO DO THINGS WITH THEM.

SO EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

BE WITH ME, JESUS.

EVERY TIME I'VE EVER CAME OUT OF MY HOUSE

HAS ALWAYS BEEN IN THE WHEELCHAIR.

SO ACTUALLY SEE YOUR MAMA WALK SO DIFFERENT.

TO BE ABLE TO STEP OUTSIDE THE DOOR,

NOT "I ROLLED OUT,"

BUT TO SAY "I WALKED OUTSIDE MY DOOR,"

FOR SOMEBODY WHO'S BEEN BEDRIDDEN FOR YEARS,

THAT'S A LOT.

OHH.

THANK YOU, JESUS.

OH, LORD.

OH!

THANK YOU, LORD.

[ EXHALING DEEPLY ]

Malayzha: LOOK.

I WENT FROM THIS SIDE TO THIS SIDE.

[ SIGHS HEAVILY ]

[ SNIFFLING ]

[ Crying ] THANK YOU, JESUS.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M SO GRATEFUL TO GOD...

...FOR THE PUSH

AND THE WILLPOWER AND THE STRENGTH.

THE STRENGTH...

WE GIVE IN TO PAIN SO MUCH.

WE JUST SIT THERE, AND WE WALLOW IT IN FOR SO LONG.

BUT WHEN I SEE THE LOOK ON HER FACE,

JUST ME BEING HERE,

AND AS SHE CHEERS ME ON,

IT MAKES IT ALL WORTH IT.

YOU STARTING ALREADY, GIRL.

YOU CLOWNING YOURSELF.

[ LAUGHS ]

Tanisha: YOU'RE CLOWNING.

THERE'S GONNA COME A DAY

WHEN I DON'T HAVE TO WALK AND GET TIRED,

AND I DON'T HAVE TO WALK AND SIT.

EVERYTHING I LOST, I'M GONNA GET BACK.

Malayzha: YES. YES.

WHY?

'CAUSE I WANT TO SWIM WITH YOU.

WHEN I SEE DR. NOW NEXT WEEK,

I'M HOPING TO SHOW HIM EXACTLY WHAT HE NEEDS TO SEE

TO PROVE TO HIM I'M COMMITTED AND I CAN DO THIS.

**

[ SIGHS ]

I'M HERE TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN FOR MY FOURTH APPOINTMENT.

MY LAST DOCTOR'S VISIT

DIDN'T GO ACCORDING TO HOW I THOUGHT IT SHOULD,

AND IT WAS A REALITY CHECK FOR ME.

AND HE WANTED ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS,

SO HOPEFULLY, I'VE LOST WHAT HE WANTED ME TO LOSE.

I'M DOWN TO MY LAST CHANCE.

MY PROGRESS TODAY IS GOING TO DETERMINE

IF I'M EVER GOING TO GET THIS SURGERY.

**

Tanisha: I'M AT DR. NOW'S TO SEE HOW MUCH PROGRESS I MADE

OVER THE LAST MONTH.

HE NEEDED ME TO LOSE 30 POUNDS AND GET UNDER 558.

SO I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS RIGHT NOW,

BUT I'M CONFIDENT I DID WELL

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN.

WHAT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YES! YES.

WOW.

I'M VERY RELIEVED.

I HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS.

ONE PART OF ME WAS LIKE, "YOU'VE DONE THE WORK,"

BUT THEN THERE'S STILL,

"OKAY, WELL, WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T DO ENOUGH?"

I'M PRAYING THAT HE SAYS I'VE LOST ENOUGH WEIGHT AND,

"LET'S GET YOU APPROVED FOR SURGERY."

THAT'S THE ONLY THING I REALLY WANT TO HEAR RIGHT NOW.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HELLO. [ CHUCKLES ]

HOW ARE WE DOING?

NOT BAD. ARE WE DOING OKAY?

DOING FINE. ALL RIGHT, SUPER.

SO, I SEE YOU LOST SOME WEIGHT SINCE LAST TIME.

SO, YOU'RE DOING GOOD WITH YOUR DIET, HUH?

DOING GREAT.

I'M HAPPY YOU'RE LOSING WEIGHT AGAIN,

BUT I'M A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED

THAT YOU DIDN'T QUITE GET TO THE 30-POUND WEIGHT LOSS.

WHAT IS YOUR LEVEL OF ACTIVITY?

I'VE BEEN MOVING MORE.

I USED TO JUST DO EXERCISE IN THE BED SOMETIME, YOU KNOW,

BUT NOW I'M STARTING TO GET UP AND WALK MORE.

YOU KNOW, IT HURTS, BUT I PUSH MYSELF.

ALL RIGHT. THIS IS A GOOD START,

BUT IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY ON A 1,200-CALORIE-A-DAY DIET,

AT YOUR WEIGHT, YOU COULD HAVE EASILY LOST 40 POUNDS

THIS PAST MONTH. OKAY.

SO, THAT TELLS ME THAT YOU HAVE CUT BACK,

BUT THERE ARE STILL SOME FOOD AND BIG PORTIONS

THAT YOU'RE NOT CHANGING. OKAY.

SO, WHAT I NEED YOU TO DO IS STICK WITH IT

AND HIT THE 30-POUND WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL

I GAVE YOU, OKAY?

OKAY? KEEP AT IT,

AND I'LL SEE YOU NEXT MONTH.

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M HAPPY THAT TANISHA IS MAKING SOME PROGRESS,

BUT THERE'S NO REASON

SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE LOST 30 POUNDS LAST MONTH.

AND HER HISTORY OVER THE LAST NINE MONTHS

HAS ME CONCERNED

THAT SHE'S JUST WORKING A LITTLE BIT HARDER TEMPORARILY.

SO I NEED TO SEE MORE PROGRESS FROM HER

BEFORE I'M CONFIDENT THAT SHE'S READY

FOR THE NEXT BIG STEP LIKE SURGERY.

Tanisha: I'M A LITTLE FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW

'CAUSE I'M WORKING HARD,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE I CAN DO TO PROVE IT TO HIM.

THERE'S A PART OF ME THAT'S NOT SURE

I WANT TO KEEP DOING THIS OR TRY ANYMORE

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE DONE ENOUGH.

BUT I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THIS CHANCE.

**

IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE I'VE SAW DR. NOW,

AND I'VE BEEN STICKING TO THE DIET.

BUT FOR THIS WEEK,

I'M JUST TAKING A LITTLE BREAK FROM IT ALL.

THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF STRESSFUL THINGS GOING ON,

AND IT WAS REALLY HARD TO GET LET DOWN LIKE THAT

WHEN I SAW THE DOCTOR LAST.

HOLY MERCY.

OH, LET ME SEE...

WHAT'S THE CLOSEST THING FOR ME TO SNACK ON?

**

[ GRUNTS ]

SO I'M GIVING IN A LILLIE BIT...

MERCY, JESUS.

...AND I'M NOT GONNA LIE -- I HAVE BEEN EATING FAST FOOD.

AND EATING SOME OF THE FOOD I REALLY LIKE

BEFORE I GO BACK ON THE DIET.

BUT WHEN I REALLY THINK ABOUT IT ALL,

DR. NOW DIDN'T REALLY GIVE ME A GOOD PLAN TO FOLLOW.

IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HAVE A GAME PLAN

BECAUSE FOR SOMEONE WHO'S USED TO EATING WHATEVER,

WHENEVER -- YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE YOU NEED STRUCTURE.

SO IT'S DEFINITELY FRUSTRATING.

**

WHAT IS THAT?

A SHAKE.

WHAT KIND OF SHAKE?

**

I SEE THE DOCTOR AGAIN SOON,

AND I'M GONNA START EATING RIGHT AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS

AND STAY ON THE DIET SO I HAVE PROGRESS TO SHOW HIM.

AND I'M HOPING THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR HIM TO APPROVE ME.

'CAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD,

AND I DESERVE TO BE ABLE TO GET WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

**

I'M HEADED TO SEE DR. NOW AGAIN,

AND I JUST WANT TO GET THIS APPOINTMENT OVER WITH.

I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING AS WELL ON MY DIET,

SO I JUST WANT TO GET THERE AND FIND OUT

IF I'M GETTING WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

**

WHEW!

BUT I'VE PUSHED MYSELF TO DO THIS FOR MONTHS NOW,

AND I'VE DONE ALL I CAN TO PROVE THAT I'M READY.

SO I THINK IT'S TIME I GET TO MOVE FORWARD,

AND I'M HOPING TODAY IS THE DAY I GET APPROVED.

**

THE SCALE SAYS I GAINED A POUND.

THAT'S A LITTLE DISAPPOINTING, BUT IT'S NOT A HUGE GAIN.

I FEEL DR. NOW -- HE'S NOT GONNA BE PLEASED

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE WORKING ON LOSING WEIGHT,

YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT EXPECTING YOU TO BE GAINING.

Tanisha: HOO, ALL RIGHT.

HELLO. HELLO, HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

COULD BE BETTER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "COULD BE BETTER"?

DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.

ALL RIGHT, TANISHA, LET'S SEE...

A MONTH AGO, YOU WERE 561 POUNDS...

YEAH, I GAINED A POUND.

...AND NOW YOU'RE 562.

WHY IS IT THAT YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR EATING HABIT AT ALL?

I KNOW I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER.

I KNOW THAT ABOUT MYSELF.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

ANY STRESS THAT ARISES IN MY LIFE --

SNACKING, YOU KNOW.

AND NOW THAT I'M DEALING WITH

A LOT OF STRESSFUL THINGS BESIDES MY HEALTH,

THAT'S WHAT I RUN TO.

THAT IS YOUR EXCUSE TO YOURSELF,

AND IT'S ONLY ACCEPTABLE TO YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED TO STICKING TO THE PLAN?

[ CHUCKLES ]

IT WENT OUT THE WINDOW.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TANISHA IS VERY UNRELIABLE.

SHE'S NOT ABLE TO CONTROL HER EATING HABIT,

AND THERE'S NO REASON TO START ANY JOURNEY

AT WEIGHT LOSS

AND NOT BE ABLE TO EVEN LOSE A FEW POUNDS.

RIGHT NOW SHE HAS A LONG WAY TO GO

BEFORE SHE'S A CANDIDATE FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

YOU AREN'T GETTING ANY OF THIS, TANISHA.

WELL, WHAT I'M SAYING IS WHEN I GET STRESSED,

I LOSE FOCUS, IS BASICALLY WHAT I'M SAYING.

ALL RIGHT. THE STRESS IS NOT GONNA GO AWAY,

YOUR BEHAVIOR IS NOT GONNA CHANGE,

THE SURGERY IS NOT GONNA CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR.

YOU DON'T SEE YOUR EXCUSES,

AND YOU DON'T SEE HOW CLOSE YOU ARE TO DEATH.

YOU'RE THE ONE -- YOU'RE MAKING A CHOICE,

AND YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T DO WHAT YOU NEED.

AND I KIND OF LAUGH TO --

TO KEEP FROM GETTING SO AGGRAVATED.

MM.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU SAVE YOUR LIFE,

NOT FIND A WAY TO HELP YOU

TO JUSTIFY KILLING YOURSELF FASTER.

SCREW THIS WHOLE PROCESS.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR TANISHA

IF SHE'S NOT TAKING SURGERY SERIOUSLY

AND SHE'S NOT ABLE TO FOLLOW THE DIET.

THAT'S A VERY BAD SIGN THAT SURGERY'S NOT GONNA BE

THE RIGHT ANSWER FOR HER.

HOPEFULLY, SHE DECIDES TO MAKE THE CHANGES SHE NEEDS

AND STICKS TO IT BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

I FEEL LIKE CRAP RIGHT NOW.

[ SNIFFLES ]

EVEN THOUGH I'M COMING FORTH AND I'M BEING HONEST

THAT I DIDN'T PUT THE WORK IN,

I ATE WHAT I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO EAT --

EVEN THOUGH I'M SAYING ALL THAT,

I FEEL LIKE I WAS MADE TO FEEL BASICALLY LIKE I WAS A LIAR.

THIS IS AN ADDICTION.

DON'T SIT UP HERE AND JUST BE LIKE --

ACTING LIKE I HAVE A FALSE SENSE OF REALITY OR WHATEVER.

[ SIGHS ]

AND I'M PISSED OFF!

SHOOT.

YOU KNOW, I'M A FULL-TIME MOM.

I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES.

AND I'VE DONE EVERYTHING HE'S ASKED OF ME

AND WORKED AS HARD AS I CAN, SO I'M DONE.

I DON'T NEED HIM,

AND I'LL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIS WHOLE PROGRAM.

[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]

HEY, TANISHA?

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

**

HI, TANISHA. IT'S SARAH FROM THE SHOW.

WE'RE AT YOUR HOUSE,

WANTED TO BE LET INSIDE, AND PLEASE GIVE ME A CALL BACK.

**

WE'RE AT TANISHA'S HOUSE TODAY TRYING TO GET INSIDE,

AND SHE WILL NOT LET US INSIDE.

**

SHE WON'T ANSWER ANY PHONE CALLS OR ANY TEXTS, SO...

I'M AT A LOSS.

HEY, THERE SHE IS.

HEY, TANISHA? HELLO?

**

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

IT'S SARAH. HOW ARE YOU?

YOU HERE? HI.

I'M SO SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.

ARE YOU NOT FEELING WELL TODAY?

Tanisha: IT'S A LOT OF THINGS THAT'S GOING ON.

AT THE END OF THE DAY,

I COULD STILL DO THE WEIGHT LOSS WITHOUT DR. NOW

OR ANY OTHER WEIGHT-LOSS DOCTOR,

PERIOD, POINT BLANK.

I DON'T NEED THIS. THIS IS NOT BENEFITING ME.

MNH-MNH.

MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH, MNH-MNH.

I CAN'T. I CANNOT DEAL.

OH, MY GOD.

Tanisha: THIS LAST YEAR HAS BEEN REALLY DIFFICULT.

I'M STILL TRYING TO DEAL WITH THE DEATH OF MY MOM,

DEALING WITH MY OWN HEALTH ISSUES,

TRYING TO HAVE A PROSPEROUS RELATIONSHIP,

TRYING TO RAISE KIDS,

AND THEN TRYING TO BASICALLY FIND MY OWN LIFE.

IT'S BEEN ABOUT FIVE MONTHS

SINCE I STOPPED DR. NOW'S PROGRAM.

AFTER SEEING HIM THE LAST TIME, I WAS REALLY UPSET FOR A WHILE

AND DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PROGRAM.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

IT KIND OF PUT ME IN A STATE OF DEPRESSION

AND WITH THAT, ANGER, AS WELL.

SINCE I BACKED AWAY FROM THE PROGRAM,

I WENT THROUGH A DOWNWARD SPIRAL FOR, YOU KNOW, A FEW MONTHS.

I WAS ANGRY WITH MYSELF.

I WENT BACK TO EATING HOWEVER I WANTED TO EAT,

BEING LAZY AGAIN, NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING.

I'M NOT UPSET ANYMORE,

BUT I DO THINK THAT I'M DONE WITH THE PROGRAM.

'LAY, GO SET THIS ON MY DRESSER, PLEASE.

I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WEIGH RIGHT NOW.

I FEEL LIKE I'M AT LEAST BACK TO MY ORIGINAL WEIGHT,

IF NOT A LITTLE MORE.

I'LL EAT THAT, SO...

Jer'Monika: PHYSICALLY IN THE LAST YEAR,

MY MOM HAS CHANGED

BY GAINING MOST OF THE WEIGHT THAT SHE LOST BACK.

[ SIGHS ]

SHE HASN'T BEEN STICKING TO ANY TYPE OF DIET PLAN,

AND I'M DEFINITELY WORRIED ABOUT HER HEALTH.

**

[ GRUNTS ] OH, LORD HAVE MERCY.

MY HEALTH HAS GOTTEN WORSE AGAIN,

ESPECIALLY WITH MY BREATHING.

IT GIVES ME BAD ANXIETY.

WHEN YOU CAN'T BREATHE, THAT'S AN AWFUL FEELING.

I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING AT THIS SIZE.

I'M AT THE POINT NOW

WHERE I FEEL LIKE I'VE HIT ROCK BOTTOM,

AND THE ONLY THING AFTER THIS IS DEATH.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE UP AND JUST DIE.

SO I NEED HELP, BUT AT THIS POINT,

I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE.

**

TODAY, I'M HEADED TO CHURCH WITH THE FAMILY.

MY FAITH IS VERY IMPORTANT.

THAT IS THE ONLY THING

THAT'S GOTTEN ME THROUGH THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

I'VE BEEN PRAYING A LOT LATELY

BECAUSE MY BODY HAS BEEN GETTING WORSE

AND I'M IN A LOT MORE PAIN.

PRAISE GOD IN FAITHFULNESS...

Tanisha: I'VE BEEN SCARED, AND I'VE BEEN TAKING THAT FEAR TO GOD.

Brooks: WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS --

EVERYONE IN HERE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU --

BLESSINGS WILL ONLY COME FROM UNCOMFORTABLE STATES.

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

Tanisha: IT NEVER FAILS -- WHATEVER I'M GOING THROUGH,

IT SEEMS LIKE MY PASTOR

IS TALKING DIRECTLY TO ME AND TO MY SITUATION.

Brooks: YOU WILL NEVER IN LIFE

BE PREPARED FOR SOMETHING YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO.

[ APPLAUSE ]

Tanisha: I THINK THE MAIN WORD TODAY THAT SPOKE TO ME

WERE WHEN HE SAID THAT BASICALLY, A BLESSING

WAS COMING OUT OF AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION.

THAT REALLY STUCK TO ME,

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW.

ALL RIGHT. [ APPLAUSE ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

I KNOW GOD HAS A BLESSING FOR ME,

BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M COMPLETELY HELPLESS IN MY SITUATION.

* THE NAME OF JESUS *

SO I STARTED PRAYING THAT I CAN WORK UP THE COURAGE

TO GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR AND THAT HE'LL ACTUALLY HELP ME.

BUT I'VE GONE BACK TO HIM TWICE AND STARTED OVER,

AND I FAILED BOTH TIMES.

Brooks: IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

Tanisha: SO, I HAVE NO IDEA IF HE'LL EVEN CONSIDER ME AGAIN,

AND THAT MAKES ME SCARED TO EVEN TRY.

SO, I'M PRAYING GOD GIVES ME THE STRENGTH

TO AT LEAST FIGHT FOR MY LIFE AND TRY AGAIN.

JESUS LOVES YOU.

[ CHEERING ] HALLELUJAH.

Tanisha: I JUST NEED ONE MORE CHANCE.

**

**

HEADED TO DR. NOW'S TODAY FOR A CHECK-UP.

WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES.

I LOOK AT TODAY AS A FRESH START FOR ME.

AND I'M PRAYING THAT HE TAKES ME BACK

AND LETS ME START THE PROGRAM AGAIN.

IT'S BEYOND TIME FOR ME TO DO SOMETHING.

BUT I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW TO FIND OUT

HOW HE'S GONNA REACT TO ME COMING BACK.

I'M GONNA DO THAT.

AND I'M ALSO REALLY NERVOUS TO SEE HOW MUCH WEIGHT I GAINED.

I'M JUST HOPING I'M NOT TOO MUCH HEAVIER

THAN WHAT I WAS ORIGINALLY.

**

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE GAINED THAT MUCH WEIGHT.

**

THAT NUMBER IS GONNA KEEP FLASHING IN MY HEAD.

AND I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW TO EVEN SEE DR. NOW.

I FEEL LIKE AT THE POINT I'M AT RIGHT NOW,

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA GET APPROVED.

IT'S LIKE, I ALREADY KNOW THAT.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: HELLO! MM.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'VE BEEN BETTER.

COME ON, LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

COME ON.

OKAY, TANISHA, SO, YOU ARE 602 POUNDS --

HIGHER THAN EVER.

YES.

SO, YOUR EATING HABITS ARE WORSE.

MM-HMM. IT'S BAD.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIME -- LIKE, I WON'T EAT ALL DAY,

AND THEN I'LL BE SO HUNGRY AT NIGHT

THAT I'LL EAT MORE THAN I SHOULD.

THAT'S MY MAIN THING, 'CAUSE I HAVE TO --

I'M MAKING UP FOR WHAT I DIDN'T EAT.

ALL RIGHT, SO, HOW DO YOU SEE

THAT YOU CAN MAKE ANY CHANGES ON YOUR EATING HABIT?

SOMETHING GOT TO GIVE --

I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS BIG IN MY LIFE,

AND THAT KIND OF HIT ME.

OKAY. SO, YOU WANT TO START THE PROGRAM AGAIN?

I MEAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE IF I DIDN'T WANT TO STICK WITH IT,

IF I DIDN'T WANT THE HELP.

I KNOW I NEED THE HELP. OKAY.

SO, WE CAN DO THAT,

BUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS TO LOSE 30 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH.

SAME SONG -- HOPEFULLY DIFFERENT DANCE THIS TIME, OKAY?

[ CHUCKLES ]

Dr. Nowzaradan: I'M GLAD TANISHA WANTS TO TRY AGAIN,

BUT IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF

SINCE SHE STARTED THIS PROGRAM, AND SHE'S HEAVIER THAN EVER.

TANISHA'S STARTING TO UNDERSTAND A LITTLE

ABOUT HOW SERIOUS HER SITUATION IS.

BUT THAT WON'T MATTER WHEN SHE GETS STRESSED AGAIN.

SO WE NEED TO ADDRESS HER INABILITY

TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT MOMENTS

WITHOUT RUNNING TO FOOD AND MAKING EXCUSES.

IF SHE DOESN'T DO THIS, SHE LIKELY WON'T SURVIVE

MORE THAN SIX MONTHS AT THIS POINT.

YOUR EATING HABIT IS GONNA HAVE TO BE CONTROLLED BY YOU,

AND YOU'VE TOLD ME A NUMBER OF TIMES

THAT YOU'RE READY TO WORK,

BUT YOU GO BACK TO FOOD WHEN YOU'RE STRESSED.

MM-HMM.

SO I WANT US TO TAKE A DIFFERENT APPROACH THIS TIME, OKAY?

I WANT YOU TO SEE A THERAPIST TO START WORKING THROUGH

HOW YOU HANDLE SOME OF YOUR STRESS.

SO, ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THAT?

I THINK THAT WOULD HELP.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.

LET'S WORK AT THIS AND DO IT, OKAY?

OKAY.

THANK YOU, DR. NOW. ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU THEN.

MM-HMM.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

Tanisha: I ACTUALLY THOUGHT

DR. NOW WAS GONNA COME IN AND BE HARD ON ME,

AND IT'S LIKE HE WAS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT,

BUT IT'S -- YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE,

"HEY, YOU NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUS."

HE JUST WANTS THE BEST FOR ME.

HE WANTS ME TO BE ABLE TO LOSE WEIGHT

AND LIVE MY OWN LIFE.

SEEING A THERAPIST IS SOMETHING I'VE NEVER THOUGHT OF

AND I WOULDN'T NORMALLY DO, BUT I'M WILLING TO DO

WHATEVER HE THINKS WILL HELP ME SUCCEED RIGHT NOW,

AND I'M SO THANKFUL TO HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE.

TODAY, I'M HEADED TO SEE THE THERAPIST

DR. NOW WANTED ME TO SEE.

TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS IS NOT SOMETHING I WOULD NORMALLY DO.

**

BUT GETTING ON THAT SCALE WAS A WAKE-UP CALL,

AND I DON'T WANT TO END UP DYING

BECAUSE MY BODY COULDN'T TAKE MY WEIGHT ANYMORE.

SO I'M WILLING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE

TO DO WHAT I NEED TO START MAKING PROGRESS THAT CAN LAST.

HI, TANISHA. I AM LAURIE SMITH.

IT'S VERY NICE TO MEET YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

YOU READY TO COME ON IN? I'M READY.

GOOD.

WE'LL GET STARTED.

[ SIGHS ]

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A COUNSELOR BEFORE?

IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME?

IT'S THE FIRST TIME. OKAY.

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT

OR EXPECT OUT OF THESE COUNSELING SESSIONS.

[ SIGHS ]

I WANT TO NOT BE SO ANGRY, BECAUSE EVEN DAVID --

HE'LL TELL ME ALL THE TIME, "YOU'RE SUCH AN AWESOME WOMAN,

BUT YOUR ANGER -- YOUR ATTITUDE GETS SO BAD."

I NEED TO FORGIVE.

AND I WANT TO BE ABLE TO HELP OTHERS

WHO HAVE BEEN WHERE I'VE BEEN OR WHO ARE WHERE I'VE BEEN.

SO, TANISHA, MY FIRST QUESTION

THAT MAY SEEM A LITTLE INVASIVE IS,

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED?

YES. OKAY.

AND HOW LONG DID THAT LAST?

FROM LIKE 7 TO MAYBE 16, 17?

THAT WAS A VERY LONG TIME.

A VERY LONG TIME.

WAS THAT A FAMILY MEMBER?

ONE WAS ACTUALLY BLOOD.

THE OTHER ONE WAS ONE OF MY MOTHER'S BOYFRIENDS AT THE TIME.

AND THAT'S HARD TO DEAL WITH AS A LITTLE GIRL.

FAMILY MEMBERS WERE YOUR ABUSERS.

CAN I ASK YOU WHO THOSE ABUSERS WERE?

[ SIGHS ]

ONE OF THE MAIN WAS MY GRANDFATHER.

SO, THE GRANDFATHER ABUSE WENT ON FOR A LONG TIME?

OH, THAT WAS YEARS,

AND THAT'S WHEN I REALLY STARTED PICKING UP,

YOU KNOW, WITH THE FOOD.

IT WAS JUST LIKE EAT WHATEVER I WANTED.

HOW DID YOU HANDLE TRYING TO STAY AWAY FROM HIM?

IT WAS REALLY HARD BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE,

YOU KNOW, MY PRIMARY RESIDENCE WAS.

AND SO IT WAS LIKE HOW DO YOU ESCAPE IT,

YOU KNOW, BESIDES RUNNING THE STREETS?

AND THAT'S WHAT I DID.

I FELT LIKE IF I'M GOING TO BE,

YOU KNOW, TOUCHED IN WHATEVER WAY,

THEN I'M GOING TO CHOOSE WHO I WANT TO DO IT.

JUST TRYING DIFFERENT THINGS WITH ANYBODY --

UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANY AND EVERYBODY.

YOU KNOW, I COULD REMEMBER ALL THAT, AND I'M LIKE, "MAN.

YOU KNOW, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING BACK THEN?"

I'VE DONE SO MUCH. OH, MY GOD.

WELL, THE THING ABOUT BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED

IS THAT SOME MANY TIMES, THERE'S MANY,

MANY DIFFERENT CHARACTER DEFECTS THAT COME FROM THAT.

EATING ADDICTION COMES ALONG WITH THAT.

IT'S THE COMFORT FOOD. IT'S SOOTHING TO YOU.

AND INAPPROPRIATE EXPRESSED SEXUALITY, THOUGH,

GOES WITH THE SEXUAL ABUSE, AS WELL.

WHEN YOU'RE TAUGHT THAT SEX IS SOMETHING THAT'S OKAY TO DO

BY SOMEONE THAT CLAIMS TO LOVE YOU,

THEN YOU BEGIN TO THINK THAT SEX EQUALS LOVE.

EVEN THOUGH THAT YOU KNOW IT'S WRONG,

IF GRANDPA DOES IT, IT MUST BE OKAY.

SO, I WANT YOU TO BEGIN TO WORK ON FORGIVENESS IN YOURSELF

AND GETTING RID OF SOME OF THAT GUILT AND SHAME

BECAUSE ALL THOSE DIFFERENT PARTNERS THAT YOU HAD

WHEN YOU WERE BEING PROMISCUOUS

WAS SIMPLY A CRY FOR HELP, REALLY.

OKAY. WHAT WE HAVE TO WORK ON DOING

IS BRINGING YOU INTO A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE

SO THAT YOU CAN MOVE FORWARD IN YOUR OWN LIFE.

SO TELL ME ABOUT, YOU KNOW, YOUR EATING.

DO YOU TRY TO EAT JUST THREE MEALS A DAY?

WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE?

I'M NOT A BREAKFAST PERSON. I DON'T DO LUNCH.

IT'S THE LATE-NIGHT EATING.

DID A LOT OF YOUR ABUSE HAPPEN AT NIGHTTIME?

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, THINGS LIKE THAT, YEAH.

AND THAT BECOMES A TRIGGER.

YOU BEGIN TO DEVELOP A FEAR OF NIGHTTIME,

SO WHEN THE SUN BEGINS TO GO DOWN,

THEN YOUR BODY BECOMES ON FULL ALERT.

AND WHAT I WANT YOU TO START DOING

IS I WANT YOU TO TRY TO GET ON A GOOD SLEEP PATTERN,

AND THAT'S GONNA BE YOUR VERY FIRST HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT,

IF YOU WILL.

WE CAN BEGIN THIS JOURNEY

AND GET YOU TO A PLACE OF HEALTHY TANISHA.

I WANT TO GET RID OF ALL THIS,

'CAUSE I NEED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD, YOU KNOW?

OBESITY RUNS IN THE FAMILY, RIGHT?

YES.

SO THAT'S A GENERATIONAL CURSE IN YOUR FAMILY, THEN.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA BE THE ONE TO BREAK THAT.

[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. TANISHA, IT WAS REALLY, REALLY,

REALLY GREAT TO MEET YOU TODAY. IT WAS AWESOME TO MEET YOU.

I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU MORE.

I'M GLAD I OPENED UP TODAY.

I KNOW THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DEAL WITH

TO START TO HEAL FROM A LIFETIME OF PAIN,

AND I KNOW I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS ABOUT DOING THINGS

I DON'T WANT TO DO SO THAT I CAN START TO CHANGE...

...BECAUSE IF I DON'T, I KNOW I'M GONNA FAIL AGAIN.

**

Tanisha: TODAY, I'M HEADED BACK TO THE CLINIC

TO SEE DR. NOWZARADAN AGAIN.

**

IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND A HALF I'VE TRYING TO PROVE TO HIM

I'M READY FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY...

**

...AND I'VE BEEN WORKING HARDER

THAN I EVER HAVE THIS PAST MONTH.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS

IN WAYS THAT DON'T INVOLVE FOOD

LIKE I TALKED ABOUT WITH THE THERAPIST

SO THAT I CAN BEGIN TO MAKE CHANGES

AND TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY FOR MYSELF.

I KNOW I HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO, BUT I'M HOPING

I LOST THE 30 POUNDS I WAS SUPPOSED TO LOSE

AND HIT MY GOAL.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'M REALLY GLAD I HIT MY GOAL,

AND I'M EXCITED FOR THE DOCTOR TO SEE THAT.

**

BUT MY EXPECTATIONS ARE LOW RIGHT NOW

THAT HE'LL APPROVE ME FOR SURGERY

BECAUSE I'VE LET HIM DOWN SO MANY TIMES.

BUT I KNOW I NEED THIS SURGERY.

IT'S HARD DOING IT BY MYSELF,

AND I KNOW I NEED THIS TO HELP ME OUT.

HELLO. HEY, DR. NOW.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? I'M OKAY.

HOW ARE YOU? YOU'RE JUST OKAY,

BUT YOU LOST 34 POUNDS THIS MONTH.

YOU MADE GOOD PROGRESS. YOU'RE NOT EXCITED ABOUT THAT?

[ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S FINE.

I MEAN, ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING.

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK YOU TO DO THIS?

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE SAW YOU.

LOOK AT THE DATE.

OKAY? MM-HMM.

SEE WHAT YOU WEIGHED?

MM-HMM.

NOW YOU'RE 568.

YOU LOST OVER 30 POUNDS THIS LAST MONTH.

THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SEE FROM YOU.

OKAY. SO, WITH THAT,

I THINK YOU'RE READY FOR SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY

TO CONTINUE YOUR WEIGHT-LOSS JOURNEY.

OKAY. GOOD JOB, TANISHA.

KEEP MAKING PROGRESS, AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

ALL RIGHT.

TANISHA HAS CERTAINLY HAD HER UPS AND DOWNS,

BUT SHE FINALLY HIT HER WEIGHT-LOSS GOAL

AND WENT TO A THERAPIST.

AND I FEEL CONFIDENT THAT SHE'S WILLING

TO FINALLY WORK HARD AND STOP MAKING EXCUSES.

SO I'M COMFORTABLE

APPROVING HER FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY.

Tanisha: I'M IN SHOCK RIGHT NOW.

I'M FEELING PRETTY GOOD

ABOUT BEING APPROVED FOR THE SURGERY.

I'VE BEEN BATTLING THIS WEIGHT LOSS UP AND DOWN.

I'VE BEEN YO-YOING UP AND DOWN,

AND I KNOW THAT I CAN'T DO IT ON MY OWN.

SO TO HEAR DR. NOW SAY, YOU KNOW,

THAT HE'S GONNA AT LEAST TAKE A CHANCE

AND TRY TO DO THE SLEEVE ON ME, THAT'S EXCITING.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S SOMETHING THAT I NEED.

SO, I'M HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

**

I'M SO NERVOUS RIGHT NOW.

**

MOST OF MY FAMILY CAN'T BE HERE,

EXCEPT MY COUSIN CHADSIDY, BECAUSE EVERYONE HAD TO WORK.

AND I JUST WISH I HAD MY WHOLE FAMILY HERE.

**

WHAT YOU CRYING FOR? ME AND MY MAMA --

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS TOGETHER,

SO I JUST KEEP -- JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT,

YOU KNOW...

I JUST HATE THAT SHE PASSED AWAY BEFORE I --

YOU KNOW, THIS DAY COULD COME.

IT'S A LITTLE SAD.

SHE WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE ME

MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF MYSELF.

ASIDE FROM MY C-SECTIONS, I'VE NEVER HAD SURGERY.

SO THIS IS REALLY SCARY

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TODAY.

BUT IF I CHANGE MY MIND AND QUIT NOW,

THEN I KNOW MY FATE IS SEALED.

BUT I HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR, SO I HAVE TO DO THIS.

Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, I'M ATTEMPTING TO DO A SLEEVE GASTRECTOMY ON TANISHA.

HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL HELP TANISHA

TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL HER EATING HABIT.

MY BIGGEST CONCERN RIGHT NOW IS HER TWO PAST C-SECTIONS.

ROOM LIGHTS OFF.

THAT CAN TAKE A LOT TO GET PAST OR MAY PREVENT US

FROM BEING ABLE TO DO THE OPERATION.

FOR A SUPER MORBID OBESE PATIENT,

WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY IS GOING TO BE

THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT.

DURING GASTRIC SLEEVE OPERATION, WE REMOVE APPROXIMATELY

70% TO 80% OF STOMACH THROUGH A SMALL INCISION.

MOVE THAT. OKAY.

RIGHT THERE.

AFTER WE REMOVE THE MAJORITY OF THE STOMACH...

...WHICH LIMITS THE AMOUNT THAT THEY CAN EAT AT ONE TIME.

**

Chadsidy: TANISHA MEANS A LOT TO ME.

SHE'S LIKE MY SECOND MOM.

AND I KNOW THERE'S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY

THAT SHE WON'T COME TO WITH THE ANESTHESIA,

BUT I HAVE TRUST THAT GOD IS GONNA PULL TANISHA THROUGH THIS.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

Dr. Nowzaradan: THIS IS A LITTLE BIT MORE DIFFICULT

WITH THE SCARRING THAN I WOULD PREFER.

SO I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO DO.

LIGHT OVER HERE.

PULL BACK THAT WAY.

**

OKAY. I'M CLEAR NOW.

OKAY. WE WILL START TO SUTURE HER.

ALMOST DONE.

**

AND WE'RE FINISHED.

ALL RIGHT.

TANISHA'S SURGERY'S OVER, AND SHE DID VERY WELL.

BUT SHE HAD A LOT OF ADHESIONS FROM PREVIOUS C-SECTIONS,

SO IT TOOK A LONG TIME TO TAKE THOSE DOWN,

BUT OTHERWISE, SHE'S DOING OKAY.

TANISHA'S JUST BEGUN TO WORK THROUGH

SOME OF HER EMOTIONAL ISSUES.

BUT NOW THAT SHE'S PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO OVEREAT,

IN THE NEAR FUTURE, SHE'LL BE FORCED

TO DEAL WITH THE THINGS IN A MUCH BIGGER WAY.

SO SHE'S GOING TO HAVE A FEW DIFFICULT MONTHS,

BUT WE'RE GOING HELP HER KEEP MAKING PROGRESS

SO SHE DOESN'T START GAINING AGAIN.

Nurse: JUST GAVE YOU SOME MORE MEDICINE, OKAY?

GIVE IT A FEW MINUTES TO WORK.

IF SHE DOES, SHE HAS USED ALL HER CHANCES,

AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE WE CAN DO TO HELP HER.

**

Tanisha: IT'S BEEN A HARD MONTH.

AFTER I GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL,

IT TOOK ME A BIT TO GET MY ENERGY BACK

BECAUSE I WAS HARDLY EATING AND ALL MY CRAVINGS WERE GONE.

BUT I'M FEELING LIKE I'M DOING BETTER NOW,

AND I'M STAYING ACTIVE DOING THINGS

AND TAKING CARE OF MY HOUSE.

**

THE MOST CHALLENGING PART IS THE STANDING FOR ME.

I'M SO USED TO SITTING OR RELYING ON THE WHEELCHAIR,

YOU KNOW, SO THE STANDING FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME

IS REALLY CHALLENGING.

NOT WANTING TO GO BACK TO BEING DEPENDENT ON OTHERS,

BEING RESTRICTED FROM ENJOYING LIFE,

AND THINGS WITH MY CHILDREN, AND JUST THINGS FOR MYSELF.

THAT'S WHAT KEEPS ME GOING.

WHEN I WANT A SNACK, THAT'S WHAT'S KEEPING ME FROM SAYING,

"NO," YOU KNOW, "DON'T TOUCH THAT.

DON'T GO TO THE CHIPS," YOU KNOW,

"GRAB A SALAD OR SOMETHING." SO, I THINK ABOUT THOSE THINGS.

**

GETTING THIS SURGERY IS THE MIRACLE

THAT I'VE PRAYED FOR FOR SO LONG.

SO I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP

AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME RIGHT NOW,

AND I DON'T WANT

THE POSITIVE CHANGE THAT'S HAPPENING IN MY LIFE

TO BE SOMETHING THAT'S INDEPENDENT FROM MY FAMILY.

**

WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO DO SO MUCH MORE TOGETHER,

AND I'M REALLY EXCITED BECAUSE TODAY,

I'M TAKING MY GIRLS TO HAVE A SPA DAY

AND GET OUR NAILS AND OUR MAKEUP DONE.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?

-PERFECT. -HI.

Tanisha: I LOVE GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.

I LOVE BEING FREE NOW

AND NOT JUST BEING ALL BOXED UP IN THE HOUSE,

SO IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO GET OUT.

ARE YOU NERVOUS? IS THIS YOUR FIRST MANICURE?

YES. [ CHUCKLES ]

RELAX, RELAX!

SO, WHAT COLOR DID YOU PICK?

Woman: PORT.

OH, IT'S PORT. PORT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

IT'S FUN SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY,

'CAUSE WE USUALLY DON'T GET TO DO THAT.

Tanisha: I'M GOING TO MAKE IT TO MY GOAL

AND BECOME THE MOM I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE.

EACH DAY, I'M ABLE TO DO MORE AND MORE,

AND IT'S BEEN REALLY GOOD FOR MY RELATIONSHIP

WITH MY FAMILY, ESPECIALLY WITH MALAYZHA.

**

AND RECENTLY, SHE STARTED OPENING UP TO ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OKAY, UM...

I GUESS WHEN YOU STARTED GAINING WEIGHT, I SORT OF FELT BAD,

'CAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS MY FAULT.

WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT?

**

HEY, WHAT?

GUESS I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY.

MAYBE 'CAUSE YOU'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES

OF WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH YOU, IS THAT WHY?

THAT MAY BE WHY, BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

I CHOSE TO HAVE YOU. I KNEW THE RISKS

AND THE COMPLICATIONS THAT I WOULD FACE

BY BEING PREGNANT WITH YOU AND BY HAVING YOU,

AND I STILL CHOSE TO DO IT.

SO WHATEVER HAPPENED, THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

THAT'S ON ME.

SO YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT.

I FEEL BAD BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO BE A MOTHER TO YOU

AND YOUR SISTER LIKE I WOULD WANT TO BE.

SHE JUST TOLD ME THAT I'M NOT THE REASON

THAT SHE'S OVERWEIGHT, AND SHE DID MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

AND I AM EXCITED FOR EVERYTHING THAT SHE'S GOING TO DO WITH ME.

ARE YOU OKAY NOW THAT WE'VE TALKED?

FEELING GOOD? MM-HMM.

HIGH TENS?

HIGH TEN!

Tanisha: I KNOW MY STRUGGLES WITH MY WEIGHT

HAVE INFLUENCED MY CHILDREN TO FOLLOW ON MY PATH

LIKE I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING ON MY MOM'S PATH,

AND I WANT TO BREAK THAT CYCLE NOW.

I DON'T WANT THERE TO EVEN BE A CHANCE

THAT MY GIRLS COULD END UP ON THE SAME PATH AS ME,

SO I WANT US TO MAKE THIS CHANGE AS A FAMILY.

I'M GRATEFUL THAT I'VE HAD YOU GUYS,

'CAUSE A LOT OF TIMES,

IF IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FOR Y'ALL,

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.

SO Y'ALL IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE HAVE REALLY SAVED MY LIFE.

I WANT MALAYZHA TO KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE HER, I LOVE HER,

I COULD ASK FOR A BETTER SUPPORT SYSTEM.

THOSE DAYS OF HER ALWAYS HAVING TO HELP ME ARE OVER,

AND I'M VERY GRATEFUL.

BUT IT'S TIME FOR ME TO BE MOM NOW.

ANOTHER. [ SMOOCHING ]

I LOVE MY FAMILY, AND I'M DOING THIS ALL FOR THEM.

**

I'M TRYING TO SERVE MORE AT CHURCH,

AND THEY'VE ASKED ME TO COME IN TO DISCUSS

A MORE ACTIVE ROLE WITH THEM.

HOW YOU DOING THIS MORNING?

ALL IS WELL. ALL IS WELL.

[ CHUCKLES ] ALL IS WELL.

ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

[ GRUNTS ] I GOT A JOB FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW WE'RE GETTING READY TO START THE MISSION.

A MISSION, SIMPLY WHAT IT IS, IS TO GO OUT TO HELP OTHERS...

THAT'S RIGHT. ...BUT IN THE PROCESS,

WHEN YOU HELPING OTHERS, GOD GONNA BLESS YOU.

WE NEED A VICE PRESIDENT.

WILL YOU TAKE ON THAT ROLE?

WOW.

THIS IS LIKE MY DREAM JOB.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE.

AND NOW THAT I'VE GONE THROUGH THIS,

IT'S LIKE I CAN HELP OTHERS NOW.

SO IT'S LIKE I'M JUST GONNA DEFINITELY PUSH HARDER

TO GET THIS DONE.

NOW, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO DO IT?

[ LAUGHS ] YES. HOW CAN I SAY NO?

[ LAUGHS ] YOU CAN'T SAY NO.

I'VE HAD THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE MY LIFE,

SO I OWE IT TO OTHERS TO GIVE BACK AND TO HELP THEM.

SO... AMEN.

AMEN. [ LAUGHS ]

HI, HOW ARE YOU? HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU? GREAT.

MY NAME'S MARK. I'M TANISHA.

NICE TO MEET YOU, TANISHA. AND...?

Tanisha: TODAY, ME AND THE GIRLS ARE GOING TO THE PARK

TO TAKE SOME FAMILY PHOTOS.

OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS,

I HAVEN'T WANTED TO TAKE PICTURES OF MYSELF,

AND THAT MEANS I DON'T HAVE ANY PICTURES WITH THEM.

SO I WANTED TO CHANGE THAT.

I THINK AS TIME GOES ON, ME AND MY GIRLS --

WE'LL JUST GET CLOSER.

YOU KNOW, I'LL BE ABLE TO DO MORE THINGS WITH THEM,

AND THAT'LL DRAW AN EVEN STRONGER BOND BETWEEN US.

JUST LIKE I WANT TO BE A BETTER MOM,

I WANT TO BE A BETTER GIRLFRIEND TO DAVID.

SOMETHING LOOK GOOD. Man: EXCELLENT.

HERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Tanisha: A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS.

I'M ABLE TO DO MORE, GOING OUT MORE,

JUST BEING ADVENTUROUS, JUST ENJOYING LIFE.

**

YOU LIKE IT?

[ LAUGHS ]

I'M HAPPY ABOUT ALL THE CHANGES IN MY LIFE.

WHEN I STARTED THIS JOURNEY, I WASN'T SURE HOW IT WOULD GO,

AND I WAS DEFINITELY TAKING LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

BUT NOW THAT I'M HERE LOOKING BACK,

I'M THANKFUL BEYOND WORDS FOR ALL THE HELP I'VE GOTTEN

AND ALL THE PROGRESS I'VE HAD.

GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE,

AND I'M GONNA TAKE IT.

David: YOU LOOK REALLY BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT.

THANK YOU, BABY.

YOU LOOK HANDSOME.

THANK YOU.

AND I'M NOT STOPPING FOR ANYTHING.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SO, SO LONG,

I HAVE HOPE.