Original subtitles

Max: This is my boss Jonathan Hart,

a self-made millionaire.

He's quite a guy.

This is Mrs. H. She's gorgeous.

She's one lady who knows how to take care of herself.

By the way, my name is Max.

I take care of both of them,

which ain't easy, 'cause when they met,

it was murder.

Well, what do you think?

You're just jealous.

Maybe you're right, I won't wear it.

Darling, do you know how long it's been

since we've had a vacation at the ranch?

- Has it been that long? - Longer.

Well, we did get held up in Hamburg.

After we got delayed in Denmark

and stuck in Sweden.

And nailed down in Nice.

And if you hadn't have showed up,

I would've probably routed in Rowan

and perished pathetically in Provignon.

How do you like that?

- Very poetic. - Oh, thanks.

Well, for the next few weeks all we're gonna do

is rest and relax, and I'm gonna go on a diet.

A diet?

Darling, German pancakes, Danish pastries,

Swedish sausages and France.

And it all wound up right here.

Every delectable ounce.

How is it you always know the right think to say?

Just good instincts and I have an empathic

understanding for women.

And I also like you a little plump.

- What? - You know, kind of round

and kind of rich, and you know,

sort of that Rubens looks.

You what? You like me how?

I like that Rubens look, that robust.

- Rubens? - Yeah, like Rubens.

- Round and robust? - Will you take it...

You sexist savage.

You better smile when you say that,

partner.

Man: Pull over.

- Hiya. How you doing? - What's up?

Looks like we got some orders to ride shotgun with you.

Everybody just stay right where you are,

this is a solo act.

Nobody move.

Come on now. Hey!

- Beautiful. - Thank you, Mr. Lawrence.

Tanner, I'm Larry Tanner from now on.

Oh, by the way, Mr. Tanner,

you'll find your new passport and papers

in that manila envelope back there.

Good.

But first we have to take care of Jennifer Edwards.

Oh, wait a minute, I almost forgot.

Her name is Jennifer Hart now, right?

Did you locate her?

Yes, sir, she and her husband got back from Europe yesterday.

They're going up to their ranch tomorrow.

It's a very secluded location.

It's eight miles from the nearest town.

That's perfect, rent us a place nearby,

as close as possible.

One question, Mr. Tanner.

You're out now, you could be out of the country by dark,

why look for trouble?

I did five years of hard time

because of Jennifer Edwards, Jennifer Hart.

I owe the lady.

Yes, sir, but is it worth the risk?

The risk is half the pleasure.

Jonathan: I feel as if I'm leading

an invasion with this convoy.

How much gear did we bring?

Jennifer: Well, you know Max, he always packs

for the duration, including his computer.

There she is.

Welcome home, Jennifer.

Mr. Hart.

Hey, Max.

Well, Wayne, how's everything going?

Well, I guess you know about them,

your advertising people, they set up down

by the old barn and corral.

You can't see 'em, but you know they're here.

They haven't been messing up my kitchen, have they?

No, Max, they mostly eat out of cans

or they heat up frozen dinners.

That's uncivilized.

I'll get lunch ready, Mr. and Mrs. H.

A half hour to a veritable taste treat.

- That sounds good. - Great. Wayne would you help me

get some of this stuff in the house?

All right, Mrs. H.

I'll be right back. I'll check on our guests.

Like I said, you sure know they're here.

- Hello, Mike. - Oh, darling.

Well, you seem a little frantic.

Well, thanks, boss, it's that damn limey.

What's this, prejudice?

No, just personal hatred.

Rupert Barrington, our genius director,

imported at vast expense from London.

Well, so far, he's rejected eight models,

assaulted our casting director,

and he's assaulting model number nine right now.

I mean, the man's an egocentric psychopath.

It's the werewolf of the west in there.

Woman: Listen, buddy, don't touch me.

Who do you think you are?

Why did you hire him?

Because he's brilliant, the monster.

Rupert: Too tall, I wanted someone shorter.

Woman: This is ridiculous.

Rupert: That belt's an absolute disaster.

Look, you're trying to tell me how to do my job?

Woman: I'm not too tall, you're too short.

Who's your agent, Nicole?

Get out of my way.

Excuse me.

You see that stupid cow?

I simply explained to her she was totally wrong

for the project and... extraordinary.

Oh, she's a perfect piece of plastic,

I grant you that, but she's got no presence, none.

You're Barrington.

My dear fellow, I am the Rupert Allan Jermaine Barrington,

I've made radial tires heroic,

eyeglasses immortal,

and I intend to turn Hart jeans into genius.

You know what I can't understand is,

why this half-witted tycoon Jonathan Hart

refuses to let me hire the sort of model that I want?

Well, I see you've found him, Jonathan.

Did I tell you he was a monster?

Jonathan.

Hart?

Hart.

And I suppose you expect an apology, do you?

Do you intend to give me one?

Not bloody likely. Why can't I have a model

who looks like a woman not like a doll?

Well, that's a good question.

Mike?

Well...

I think I'll let Graham explain that to you,

our casting director.

Graham Spence, meet Jonathan Hart.

- How do you do? - Mr. Hart.

Explain your rather dubious choice of models, Spence.

We've done extensive media research.

The public prefers the concept of feminine beauty

which is Nicole Andrews.

Made out of polyvinyl chloride.

Damn it, I want a woman who fits the landscape.

Mike, Spence, is Mr. Barrington...

Do call me Rupert.

Is Rupert as good as he thinks he is?

Almost.

Well, then you can choose whomever you want.

Shoot one sequence on her, we'll all take a look at her,

if we think she's better, fine.

If not,

then you'll use Nicole Andrews, fair enough?

Fair enough.

You know, you presented me with rather a nasty problem.

Yeah, what's that?

I've always loathed the very rich

and you're forcing me to change my mind

and I detest changing my mind.

It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Hart.

Jonathan.

Oh, Max, that was delicious.

- Sure was. - More wine, Mr. H?

- No, thanks Max. - Mrs. H?

No, thank you.

Well, this Mr. Barrington sounds very difficult.

Except I like him.

Ah, that's just because you're easy.

Oh, yeah?

How about a ride after lunch,

up to the rim rock?

Yeah, that'd be good, but can you pick me up?

I've got to get this model situation straightened out.

Well, how long is that gonna take?

It shouldn't take too long now that Barrington's

got everything that he wants.

To you.

And you.

Easy, huh?

Very.

Rupert: No, no, no. God almighty,

I asked for an aristocrat not a bloody bar maid.

You know I don't have to take that kind of crack,

Miss Saunders.

I think the only thing you're going to take,

my darling, is your departure.

Rupert, we are trying.

And failing.

How about Joanie here?

Now wait a minute, she's perfect.

There she is, still beautiful.

Rupert: Exquisite.

Elegance in a delectable flesh.

You girl, what's your name?

Me?

Yes, you.

Jennifer.

Jennifer. Amazing, real.

What do you make of her, Hart?

Well, I can't really answer that,

you see, I know the lady personally.

Well, who is she? What is she?

It seems that this man has fallen in love with you.

Oh.

Precisely.

Frankly, I can't blame him.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Well, damn it, Hart, introduce me.

This is my wife Jennifer.

Darling, this is Rupert Barrington.

How do you do?

Do?

Your wife?

That's absolutely perfect.

Now I expect you to think I'm a complete idiot,

but I want you.

I think that Rupert wants you to star in our commercial.

Ah, no, no, no.

Great bones, sits on a horse beautifully,

exactly the right air of aristocratic sexuality,

quite marvelous.

- No. - Yes, ma'am.

Now you're going to play a part of a lady in the old west,

a sort of Calamity Jane,

outlaw gun-slinger, but with an authentic,

aristocratic jeans-clad presence.

Wherever you go, you're in style.

Mrs. Hart.

I can make you immortal.

Thank you, but no thank you.

She's absolutely perfect.

Obviously the lady is not interested.

Joanie's ready now, Mr. Barrington.

I'm a saint amongst men.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, darling.

This whole thing is crazy.

- It's insane. - I am not a model.

- You're not even attractive. - That's right. What?

Except for that aristocratic sexuality.

I can't do it, darling. I'm wrong.

My nose, my cheeks are too cheeky.

Great cheeks, fantastic packaging.

You really think I could do it without making an idiot of myself?

I think you'd be great

and you'd be doing us a great favor.

All right, I'll do it.

You will?

Just for you because I love you.

Oh, well, let's spread the word.

Okay.

Well, that's marvelous news, Jennifer.

But I must say that I am a little nervous.

There's nothing to be frightened of.

Now we're going to start shooting here tomorrow,

but first of all, I want to get a shot of you over here,

in a nice old-fashioned family setting

and then you invade a cutthroat western poker game

and you outbid tin-horn gamblers and gunmen

and the whole thing culminates in a shoot-out, okay?

She's gonna be just fine.

Rupert really is the best.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hart.

Mike said you wanted to talk to me?

Yes, I did.

Congratulations, Mrs. Hart.

Uh.

Nicole, the reason I wanted to talk to you

is because I'm sure that you feel like you've been mistreated

and I'm very sorry.

It happens, I'll heal.

Well, if it'll help, I've arranged for you

to do a major commercial for our electronic division.

- You interested? - Interested?

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help.

That's great.

Goodbye, Jennifer.

Nicole:

That truck came from out of nowhere,

hit her and just disappeared.

Some drunken idiot.

And the sheriff's office said there's no chance of us

ever identifying the truck.

Translation, file and forget.

The hospital just called, she's gonna be okay.

- Great. - Thank God.

They said she has a fractured tibia

and a few scratches, but that's it.

Mike, will you tell 'em that we'll take care

of all of the treatment?

I could've predicted that.

Yeah, I'll take care of it.

Very generous of you, Jonathan.

Nicole was working for us, she's one of our people.

I see.

Well, I also work for you.

And I'm going to try to do my damnedest

to produce something really brilliant for you.

Jennifer, prepare to welcome stardom.

- Just like that? - Just like that.

All right, all right, thank you.

The hospital says that the girl that you hit,

Nicole Andrews, is going to recover.

She looked just like Jennifer Hart.

Bad luck.

At least they can't trace you.

All right, I want a complete rundown on the commercial crew.

I want to know who's for sale.

We're gonna set this up right.

And this time, we won't miss.

Thank you.

Look at that, she's beautiful.

Always has been, always will be.

Flattery will get you everything.

- Are you insane? - What?

Well, Jennifer is a key element in a work of art,

do not touch.

- I'm sorry. - Thank you.

Now if you'll kindly move your plutocratic backside

from the field of vision, we can get on with it.

Go on, out, out.

- See ya later. - Shoo.

Okay, standby, villains.

Now, Jennifer, when I say action,

I want you to run to the this carriage.

- Carriage? - Wagon.

Wagon. Yes, you run to the wagon

and off you go, hotly pursued by these two villains

who will come out from behind the trees.

But you outdistance them and you knock

one of them off with your whip.

Just in time to reach your goal, which is the tea party here.

And you pull up, jump off the wagon

and thanks to the miracle of film,

you'll appear perfectly attired. Understood?

Good, right.

Okay, quiet, standby everybody.

Standby.

Go on, villains, get going.

Go on, shoo.

- Okay, settling down. - Standby.

Man: Quiet.

Rupert: And action.

Whoa.

And cut it.

Good, Jennifer.

But not good enough, we're gonna do another one.

Now look, I want more assurance.

You know, you're windblown, casual, vital,

a real woman in an artificial world.

We're gonna do another one, okay?

- Another one? - Another one.

Well, how many times do we have to do this?

Until you get it right, darling.

Okay, here we go.

Standby, everybody.

Until I get it right?

Oh, darling, I am dead.

I'm going to get you a brandy,

give you a hot bath

and then one of my first-class massages.

Oh, you're brilliant.

So are you.

Rupert actually smiled.

You know, I think he likes torturing people.

We're not really giving a party tonight, are we, darling?

- Yes, we are. - Oh.

In about one hour and a half.

Do we have to?

You're the star.

Yes, and I want to be alone with you.

Oh, well, maybe we can arrange that

and be a little bit late, huh?

- Oh. - Oh, sorry.

No, my back doesn't feel too good.

There you go, Mrs. H.

Any for you, Mr. H?

Yeah, thanks, Max.

Frankly, I thought you'd be too tired to eat.

Oh, no, I have a wonderful remedy for that, food.

I expect you to be dazzling tomorrow.

Moderation in all things, please.

Absolutely.

Spare ribs or chicken or both?

I think spare ribs, please.

All right, get yourself a plate.

What if they recognize the truck?

In this country everybody past the age

of puberty drives one, relax.

I'm a concerned neighbor dropping in.

She may recognize you, though.

Jennifer Edwards has seen me exactly twice,

in court without a beard and years ago,

five hard time years ago.

Now she's Jennifer Hart

and I'm Larry Tanner, we're different people.

Besides, the fun in this is walking the edge

when I know it and she doesn't

and I can think to myself,

"Lady, you're gonna be dead."

Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

Hello, I'm a neighbor or yours, Larry Tanner.

Oh, how are you?

The sheriff's office told me what happened last night,

I just wanted you to know that my foreman spotted

a truck running past my place without any lights last night

up near rim rock, we gave a description to the sheriff.

- Just hope it helps. - Well, thanks very much.

Well, that's very neighborly of you, Mr. Tanner.

Larry, please.

Actually I had an ulterior motive, you see,

I was an admirer of yours.

Of mine?

Jennifer Edwards, investigative journalist

who covered the Harms murder,

the Eider election and broke open

the Multinational case.

Names from my sordid past.

The Multinationals case, what was that all about?

There was a very clever embezzler called...

Tom Lawrence.

That's right.

And he invented something called Multinational Metals,

conned an awful lot of people out of a lot of money.

Until you dug out the story.

Well, the people didn't get their money back,

but he is still in prison.

Yes, yes, I remember because I was involved

with Multinational Metals.

You were? I hope you didn't lose too much money.

Well, I survived.

Anyway, I wanted to thank you.

I'm very flattered.

My pleasure, Jennifer.

Aren't you gonna have something to eat?

I'm sorry, I can't,

I have a big day tomorrow but thanks very much.

- Good night. - Thank you again.

You never told me about that.

Oh, it was a long time ago, ancient history.

Anyway, I'd almost forgotten about it.

- Graham Spence? - Yes.

- Larry Tanner. - How do you do?

I think we have a mutual friend.

Oh, really, who's that?

Al Jarvis, Las Vegas.

Graham: I don't understand. What do you want?

Cooperation.

Al Jarvis tells me you dropped $53,000

at his casino.

I had a bad run, but I'll pay him.

I already have.

I bought your markers.

As I say, I just want a little cooperation,

I want to know everything there is to know about

this Hart commercial shoot.

How, when, where are they using Jennifer Hart?

You know, all the details.

I can't do that, I'd get fired.

Ah, now, you miss

the small pleasures of life.

Spence, you can cooperate with me

or pay me the $53,000.

Okay.

Today, we're shooting at a rim rock.

No, Hart, I don't want you cluttering up my frame.

Out, go on.

Out!

Now, Jennifer. I want you to ride in a wide loop all the way around,

bring the wagon back, stop,

dismount and then come over and join the party over here,

but don't do anything until I say action, okay?

I promise.

Man: All right, standby, everyone.

Man: Runaway!

It's a runaway!

Somebody get the jig.

Get the jig.

Hurry up, get the jig.

Jonathan: Jennifer.

Grab my hand.

Now!

I'm awfully glad you came along.

Jennifer, my darling, I think we slightly overdid the thrills, didn't we?

Just slightly.

It was horrible.

She could've been killed.

Tragic accident.

She wasn't hurt, was she?

No. We just can't figure out what scared that horse.

Maybe it was a piece of bad luck.

At any rate, Spence,

I've decided what I want you to do.

I gave you the whole shooting schedule.

I need one thing more, the camera.

That's impossible.

You said that Hart had invited everybody

in the crew to a barbecue late this afternoon.

So bring it to me then,

we'll have it back in half an hour

and nobody will ever know.

I can't do that.

What for?

Okay. I'll be honest with you.

I represent a rival fashion firm.

We want to delay this commercial.

You want to wreck the camera?

In a way that can't be traced.

I could get fired.

Spence, you're gonna save $53,000.

You bring me the camera,

you're all paid up free and clear.

Plus, $10,000 more, cash.

You're sure that there's no way

that they can trace this back to me?

Positive.

Trust me.

Come on, let's dance.

All just because I saved your life?

What better excuse for a celebration?

I don't suppose you care to risk all

with a man called Rupert of the two left feet, would you?

- Love to. - Good. Come on, up we go.

Have a good time.

Spence, would you care to dance?

Not this time, save me one, okay?

All right, thank you.

Here it is.

Why don't we take a little stroll

in the sunset before I faint?

What will everybody think?

The worst.

Oh, good.

Let's go.

What are you doing?

You can have this back in ten minutes.

I asked, what are you doing?

You see, I'm leaving for Europe tomorrow

so this is my farewell gift

to Jennifer Hart.

That's explosive.

Very perceptive.

Oh, my God. It's a bomb.

Stay at least 50 yards

from the camera tomorrow.

The trigger is hooked to the footage counter,

when it reads precisely 480,

or roughly five minutes of film,

it'll blow.

Are you crazy?

What if they find out I stole the camera for you?

Spence,

we all have to make our sacrifices.

You don't tie me into any murder.

Make it seem accidental, Hayward.

He is beautiful.

Oh.

I love him.

And I love you for giving him to me.

Yeah?

He is a winner, isn't he?

He's gorgeous.

You know, I think we'd better get back to the party.

I suppose so.

You don't have any idea how it could've happened?

No, I don't.

Freak accident, I guess.

I don't know what he was doing to that light,

but it sure busted his neck when it fell on him.

Mr. Hart, the sheriff told me

I have to get a statement from all the witnesses.

Well, that'd be my wife you'd want to talk to.

I'm sorry.

She ought to be back in about an hour

after they finish shooting the commercial.

I figured it would be better to get it done and over with.

Rupert: Now, you've reached your beloved just in time

and you react with instant confidence. Now.

Okay, we're ready. Everything else is packed.

All right, I'll meet you at the airfield.

Leave my case by the door.

You sure you don't want to come on now?

And miss this?

No way.

No, no.

I got plenty of time.

You go on.

Okay. Well, I'll be back around 3:00 if that's okay, Mr. Hart.

Yeah, Jennifer should be done by then.

It's really kind of weird, first that girl gets run down

and then this Spence gets killed.

That first accident,

have you gotten very far investigating it?

Haven't got anything to go on.

Oh, I was hoping you'd get some...

Something out of that description

that Larry Tanner gave you.

- Tanner? - Our neighbor.

Oh, that fella. The one staying down

at the Hobart place.

He doesn't live there?

No. No, he rented the place

from Ben Hobart about a week ago.

He didn't tell us anything.

You're sure about that?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Okay, I'll be back after 3:00

if that's okay, Mr. Hart.

Thanks.

Careful, Mr. Hart.

Breaking and entering, I'm shocked.

Yeah, it's downright criminal,

Mr. Lawrence.

It is Lawrence, isn't it?

I'm impressed.

When I found out that you lied to me

about the police report, I called the LAPD.

They ran your description through the computer,

all sorts of bells went off, lights,

all about your escape

from prison last week.

Yes, yes, clever I thought.

Clever?

What the hell are you doing here?

You should be over the nearest border.

I have a date with your wife.

I've been planning it for five years.

You blame Jennifer?

Jennifer put me in prison.

So when I got out, I looked her up

because I'm taking a personal interest in her new career

in front of the camera.

I understand she might be a star,

perhaps a nova.

A what?

Oh, Jonathan.

A nova is a star

that gets too bright for its own good

until finally, one day it self-destructs.

It explodes.

You're...

planning some kind of an explosion?

In the camera magazine,

when the footage counter reaches precisely 480 feet...

She put me in a cage.

She took five years of my life

and I always pay my debts, always.

Rupert: Joyous, victorious laughter.

Good, excellent.

Cut it. We're gonna do one more, Jennifer.

One for Lloyds.

For who?

For Lloyds, for protection.

Here we go, standby.

Are you okay?

Rupert: And now you've reached your beloved at last

and you react with instant confidence.

That's it, you've done it. Now this is your moment of triumph.

Joyous, victorious laughter.

Good, cut it!

Excellent!

Absolutely perfect, Jennifer.

Right, new setup over here,

close shot on Jennifer over here.

Okay, Jennifer.

Now, here we go. Give me that look.

That's it, it's a marvelous feeling.

Enjoy it, share it.

That's good, good.

Get that look.

That's good, beautiful.

That wonderful feeling inside you.

Excellent. Enjoy, share.

Good, good.

Good. Cut it.

We're gonna do one more.

Makeup.

A little bit shiny.

Standby.

And action.

There we go, Jennifer.

That wonderful feeling

welling up inside you. That's it.

Jennifer, give me that look,

give me that look we had before.

I want it, I want it.

Jennifer, pay attention, give me that look.

Get that magazine off the camera.

Get it off.

Get back, get back.

Get back!

Darling.

As I always said, you're dynamite.

Rupert: The man must be mad.

He destroyed a magnificent day of shooting.

Jennifer: But at least we are all still alive.

That is something, isn't it?

Rupert: Yes, good point.

Anyway it's all over.

The law has Tanner

and we have some brilliant footage.

Naturally.

And you could be a top model forever.

No, thank you.

Well, at least we ought to celebrate,

don't you think? Alone.

Are you implying that you prefer

your privacy to my presence?

No, not implying, stating.

Oh, you understand that, don't you, Rupert?

Yes, I understand.

I think it's rude and insufferable

and I'd love to take a photograph of you both.

Oh, well. How's that?

Rupert: Perfect.

Good, let's go.