All language subtitles for its.always.sunny.in.philadelphia.s08e04.720p.bluray.x264-demand

[ Charlie ] I can't
believe you just bought,

like, another
ridiculous, ugly car.

You are lucky I'm letting
you into my goddamn-

Oh, shit. Okay, okay.
Here she comes.

Okay, see, what is she doing?

[ Dee ] She appears to
be delivering food.

[ Charlie ] No. That's not what I'm saying.
I know that.

She's actually delivering Indian food now.
It's a good gig.

But, I mean, why is she not looking up
her bike? This is a bad neighborhood.

Oh, shit.
Okay, look at this guy.

He's totally gonna steal it. I gotta move.
What are you talking about?

[ Barking ]

- Keep it moving, guy! [ Barking
Continues ] - Goddamn it! Charlie!

What are you doing here? You're
just leaving your bike unlocked?

I'm protecting it
so it doesn't get stolen!

Okay, you know what?
I'm done.

I am so done with this. You
need to stop stalking me.

You need to leave me alone.

Look. Do you have any idea what
a mess your life would be...

if I wasn't
always helping you out?

I keep a list. I keep a list
of things that I do, okay?

I watch your bike
so it doesn't get stolen, okay?

I put, uh-I put vitamins in your
shampoo so your hair doesn't fall out.

I test your food
so it doesn't get poisoned.

Charlie!
Listen to me.

I am finished.
Stop following me.

Yes! Do you want me to be happy?

Then stop being around every time I turn
around! You have to leave me alone!

You want me to be, like,
gone forever? Yes.

Do you hear me?

Yeah, I hear you. It's-

Okay-Okay, so this is good-bye?

Yeah.
Good-bye, I guess.

Great.
I get it, yeah. Good-bye.

Okay, good.
Thank you.

Bye. Goddamn.

[ Laughing ]
Charlie.

Oh, shit.
She slammed you, huh?

Do you want to follow her around some more?
Nah, whatever. She's, like-

She's right, you know? Look-Can
we just go back to the bar, Dee?

Uh-No, I'd like to
follow her around.

[ Tires Screech, Crash
] Uh-Goddamn it!

If you don't have car insurance,
you better have dental,

because I am gonna
smash your teeth into dust!

So sorry.
That was completely my fault.

Yeah, it's goddamn your fault!
I-[ Gasps ] Oh.

Look at you.
My God.

I'm Trevor.
This is my sister, Ruby.

[ L/I/oman Singing j
'P A t' last, » Hi.

Hi.

♪ My love has come along ♪
Hi.

Hi.

[ Both Chuckle]

♪ My lonely days ♪
Oh, geez.

♪ Are oven/J'
[ G898 1

[ Dennis ]
No. I don't understand.

None of this is making any sense.
Dude-

What is not to understand, okay?

We got in an accident, right?
They felt a little bad about it.

One thing led to another.
They asked us out to dinner.

Who are these people exactly?

Trevor and Ruby Taft.
Right? Yeah.

What do you mean, Taft?
Like, the Taft family?

I don't know. Yeah,
Taft family, yes. Okay.

That's a good get, Charlie.

I'm rich, but these people
are in the stratosphere.

Yeah, my whole family
was a Taft family.

My uncles and grandfathers and cousins
all work for TaftCo Enterprises.

My uncle even drowned in a
vat of their molten steel.

He didn't drown.
He burned up.

Yeah, he probably burned.
I don't think he drowned.

Either way, this is a great opportunity,
okay? Do not screw this up.

Because if you get into a family like
this, it's like becoming royalty.

What's the plan for the date?

The-I mean, no plans. We
were just gonna be ourselves.

[ Frank ] Don't. Ha!

Do not be yourself. No, no, no.
That's terrible.

Be anybody but yourselves.
Anybody!

Charlie, do not eat any cheese or
any cheese-like substances, okay?

If you see cheese,
you run away from it!

Dee, do not be a drunk, punchy whore.
Okay, you whore?

- But... No, there's no buts!
There's no buts!

Do not screw this
up for me-for you.

For all of us.

What is the plan for the date?

I guess we'll become one of them or
something. We'll talk about it. Yeah, yeah.

Now, uh, as I understand it, your
family came over on the Mayflower?

Um, yes, they can actually be traced
back to the original settlement.

Oh, yeah. Well, I imagine they
destroyed many an Indian.

Mmm.
[ Chuckles ]

I too sort of have a distaste
for the Indians. Right.

They're savage things.
They're nasty, really.

Right, right. They needed
to be exte rminated.

You hate to say it,
but-You do hate to.

But it's the truth. So
congratulations to your family.

Uh, my family, uh, we were-
We were a railroad family.

Yes. That's right. The \/andervelts
were a distant relative.

Right, yeah. Well, and
I too am of a large,

um, moneyful family.
He too.

Shippers of-of goods
and, uh-Services.

- Builders of... tall-
- Buildings.

Would anyone like a drink?

A drink?
No, thank you.

No, thank you.
Never will I drink.

Whoop! Mmm.

It's all right.
That's all right.

- Is he all right?
- [ Groans, Laughs]

- Just talk about a different-
- I can ignore the cheese.

Yeah, we'll talk-
I'm sorry, can't do it!

All right, then screw it.

'Cause I've been eyeing this
guy all night long. Excuse me.

Hottie, hello. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

We've been putting on airs.

I know I come across, like, super fancy.
[ Gasps ]

I'm not. We're not
the blue blood...

fancy types that
you think that we are.

Thank God. We thought
we made a huge mistake.

We like you guys 'cause you aren't
anything like the people that we know.

- Really?
- Yes.

Oh, my God.

Shit, that is such a relief,
because look at this pit stain.

I mean, we're, like,
totally, like, normal.

Oh, I'm sweating like-
You like this pit stain?

That's nasty, yo! I've got
bodily functions. I'm sorry!

HEY, 9W8, can we do some shots?

Yes! I would love
to do some shots.

See, we're getting after it now!

Shots!
We're getting after it!

[ Dennis] No. No, see,
this doesn't add up.

This does not make any sense.
Why is this going well?

Can the girl not smell Charlie?

Can the guy not see Dee?
Somethings fishy.

Dennis, don't poke holes
in this, okay?

This is like Lady Di being plucked from
the streets like the trash she was,

and the trash
that Charlie and Dee are.

No, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I know what's
going on here, guys.

Now this makes sense. See, I
know what's happening here.

This is
a Les Liaisons Dangereuses.

Oh, Shit!
A what?

Dangerous Liaisons.
What is that?

The movie.
I don't know that movie.

It was like Cruel Intentions-She
is All That? Can 7 Buy Me L0 ve?

Almost any movie made
in the late '90s?

Guys, guys, these are the
games that rich people,

with nothing but time
on their hands, play...

with people that they
perceive to be below them.

That girl is just toying with Charlie.
She's gonna crush him.

I hate to say it,
but I think you're right.

What about Dee? What, Dee? No,
she's constantly being crushed.

She'll bounce back. She always does.
Or she won't.

It doesn't matter.
I don't care about that.

All I care about
is Charlie here.

Now, guys, we gotta
dig a little deeper.

[ Charlie ] Oh!
[Mac] Ooh!

Ooh!

[All Chuckling ] [ Dennis
] Oh, look at this.

Shall we?
No, no, no, no.

VVhere are you going? Yeah,
you guys are going, right?

No. Get in the car and leave.
No, we're coming with.

- Don't glom onto this.
- Hi, you guys.

Hi!
Hi.

Hey, you brought some friends.

- No. No, not friends.
- No!

- Hoboes.
- Come on in. The more, the merrier.

- You guys up for some tennis?
- [All ] Yeah!

Yeah, absolutely. [ Frank
] You got stuff to eat?

All right.
Shit.

[ Grunts 1

All right, Frank.
I'll play on Ruby's team,

and over the course of
the game, I'll subtly

extract her plan to
humiliate Charlie.

I'll get her.

Oh, yes. I will
definitely have her.

Whoa. Dennis, you're not
gonna hit on her, right?

Huh? No, no. It just sounded like
you were gonna try to bang her.

I'm not gonna hit on her, okay?
Don't.

Don't do it.
Will you trust me?

[ Grunts 1 Whoa!
Good one, Frank!

Hey, stay on that side when
the ball comes to you.

No.

- [ Charlie ] Fault!
- Damn it!

All right, you know what?
Ruby? Time out, time out.

Let's take a little break. Let's
take a little breather. Eh-

I thought you said you were good at this.
I am good.

It's just, this shirt is,
like, ridiculously tight,

and it's restricting my play, so, I
think I'm just gonna pop it off.

Oh.
What do you think about this?

About what?

What I'm presenting you.
[ Sighs ]

I think you look really pale.
Do you need some sunscreen?

It's the first of the season. I haven't
had a chance to get a base going.

Dennis. Dennis.

What do you think of the pecs?
[ Frank] Dennis.

- What?
- Come here. Come here.

Give me a second, all right?

What?

I thought you said you
weren't gonna hit on her.

Am I hitting on her?
[ Grunts ] Yeah.

Oh, shit. Okay.
No, you're right.

I went into default mode.
My bad.

Yeah, all right.
Hey, do I look pale?

[ Man j 'r Compa/ZVJ'
[Slurping ]

♪ Always on the run ♪

♪ Destiny;

what the hell is she doing? She's
gonna ruin this whole thing.

♪ That's why they cal! me ♪

♪ Bad company."
♪ Bad company ♪

♪ Until the day I die ♪♪

[ Mouthing V\/ords ] I love how
free and uninhibited you are.

Oh, yeah?

How about I free that
big, fat snake in your

pants and “uninhibit”
myself all over it?

[ BurpS ]

What?

Let's hump.
Oh.

Whoops.
Hey, guys.

- Shit!
- Whoa!

No. No.

Oh, sorry.
You startled me.

That's a pretty good stance you got there.
Are you trained?

[ Scoffs ] There's been
some training, yeah. You?

Yeah.
Krav Maga.

[ Exhales ] That's cool.
Jew karate.

I got more of a Catholic thing going on.
You know, sort of the hand of God.

Stupid idiot.
Get out of here!

Beat it. We were
in the middle of a thing.

No, no. That was really cool. Could
you show me that last move again?

[VVhooshing ] Get out of here!
Go on! Get out of here!

We're in the middle of
some-V\/hoa, whoa, whoa.

The middle of something.
No, whoa, hey, hey, whoa.

Ow.
Sorry you got a cramp.

[ Chuckles ] She's really
digging her hooks into him.

What a bitch.
Mm-mmm.

[Cell Phone Rings]
Hold on a second.

Oh, this same person keeps calling me.
I'm just gonna answer it.

Hello. Who is this?
Who?

Who is-I don't know that name.
VVho? Who?

Oh, oh, waitress.
Why didn't you just say that?

Uh, because my name
is not waitress.

Okay, you know what?
It doesn't even matter.

Did Charlie steal my bike?
What are you talking about?

Charlie's been with me
the entire day.

How did you get this number?
Ichangedit

Look. I need my bike back. Because if I
don't get it back, I'm gonna lose my job.

[ Mumbles, Grunts]

Hello?
Hello?

God! I'm gonna have to
change my number agai-

Holy shit.

Oh, no. Frank,
I just realized something.

What?

VVithout Charlie doing all those insane
things he's always doing for the waitress,

her life is gonna
completely change.

What do you mean?

She's gonna be constantly calling or
dropping by, looking for answers.

So there's a very good chance that
she's gonna have a front-row seat...

for the final moment
of humiliation.

And that's gonna
destroy Charlie for good.

What's the final moment
of humiliation?

That's the climactic moment where the
rich people reveal their twisted game...

to all their wealthy friends,
and everybody has a good laugh.

Okay, Frank, here's
what's gonna have to happen.

You're gonna have to do all of those
creepy things on Charlie's list...

to keep the waitress from poking around
while this whole thing runs its course.

What are you gonna do?
[ Exhales ]

I got something
very important planned.

I'm in.
There's a problem.

I can't make head or tail of
Charlie's chicken scratch.

[ Dennis ] Just do the best you can, okay?
I can't really talk right now.

Putting rat poison
in her shampoo.

Just gonna make her hair
fall out.

Crazy.
I don't know.

Look. The kid knows her
better than anybody else.

If he puts rat' poison in her hair;
put' rat' poison in her hair.

I'm busy. I can 'z' talk.
What do you mean, you're busy?

This is the whole thing, Dennis.

I'm just-I'm getting
some stuff done, okay?

Oh, shit.
I think she just came in.

I'm getting another call.
Hold on, hold on.

Hello. Who?

Who?
Just say “waitress.”

Look, has Charlie
been poisoning me?

'Cause I've been-
[ Phone Beeps ]

Frank, you got to step it up with that
list, man. This bitch is driving me nuts.

- What happened?
- Just, I'm busy, okay?

Justdoit [Beeps]

Hello? Hello?
[ Grunts ]

Hello?

Charlie?

No. It's your neighbor.

- [ Shouts ]
- [ Screams ]

Help!

Can I be, like, perfectly honest
with you about something?

Yeah.

There's a-There's a girl
who lives in this building,

and, um, well, she's-
she's the love of my life.

Okay- And, uh-

And I like you so much that before
we move any further, I just-

I don't know.
I had to get that out there.

'Cause I think I'm ready to let her
go, but I just have to be sure.

Does that make sense?
Yeah.

Charlie?
There you are.

I don't know what kind
of twisted game you're

playing, but you need
to make it stop.

V\/hoa. Hold on a second. I have
no idea what you're talking about.

Really? Because someone's
been poisoning me,

and something is making
my hairjust fall out.

Look, calm down,
all right? I-

I've been with her
the last couple days.

I really haven't been anywhere near you.
Yeah, he's been with me.

Oh, shut up, bitch! Who the
hell is this, Charlie?

Hey! No. She-

She's my girlfriend.

Oh, my God.

Sorry about that. Come on. Let's
get out of here. Let's go.

I'm sorry about that.
Wow.

[ Dee Grunting ]

How's this, Trevor?
Is this cool?

Very cool.

Get off me!
Shut up, Dee!

[ Groans ]
[Laughs]

I got that stupid bitch.

Oh! Goddamn it!

- Goddamn it! Oh!
- Clocked him.

Oh! Oh, no.

Amazing! You guys
are out of control.

Hey, I'm out of control.
I'm out of control.

Yeah, you are.

Hey, I want to invite you two to a
party at our estate tomorrow night.

My father's going public
with TaftCo.

Oh, well, then, are you
sure you want him to come?

Of course. [ Chuckles ]
He's practically family.

Hey! Come on. Show me
some more of those moves.

Oh, yeah.
Okay, well-

This next stuff I learned from
a wrestler called the Maniac.

So we're gonna have to go ahead
and get pretty oiled up.

Sure.
Great.

- ♪♪ [Classical ]
- [ Chattering ]

- This is classy as shit, huh?
- Yeah. Here.

Dee, crack that open for me,
'cause it's hurting my hands.

Yeah. I wonder why he didn't
tell us it was black-tie.

I feel like we're underdressed.

Because, Dee,
Trevor loves us for us.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey!

Glad you guys could make it. Thanks, man!
How you doing?

These are a few of
my old frat brothers.

This is Dee and Mac
that I was telling you about.

Hi.
What's up, boys?

How are you?
[ Chuckles ]

Hey, um, I'm sorry that we're
not dressed appropriately.

You guys all look so good.

Oh, well, the attire
at these sorts of events are,

well, things my friends
and I take for granted.

Don't be embarrassed though. You
guys didn't know any better.

No, I should've known better, 'cause
I'm practically a Taft myself.

My uncle's probably built into
the foundation of this place.

Really? Weird.

Hey, where do you
want us to sit?

Well, you guys'll be out here with
some of my frat brothers' guests.

[ Chuckles ]
Now, if you'll excuse us,

we all have some
catching up to do.

Oh, yeah. We'll-We'll meet
you af-We'll see you after.

- [ Trevor Laughing ]
- Kind of weird, right?

Yeah, but at least we can make fun of
these dorks all night long, right?

That'll be fun. Geeks!
[ Deep Gasp]

Oh, no, Mac.
I see what's going on here.

He's doing to us what I like to
do to Charlie and the waitress.

Huh? (Dh, no. Fommurne.

[Men] Oh! I got
that stupid bitch.

- Oh! Goddamn it!
- ON.!

[ Trevor] Man, biggest losers ever.
You know it.

On
[All] Oh! -’

That's two for one, fellas.
Come on. Pay up, pay up.

Those two are by far the worst
we've ever had. Let's go.

Goddamn it.

I can't believe it.

That's a tough pill to swallow.
Hmm. what are you doing here?

They're not the only ones who
know how to play these games.

Huh?
What?

I'm saying I also know-I have a thing.
Just come with me. Come on.

All right, folks, if you
could settle down, please.

I wonder if I could
have your attention.

Thank you all
for being here tonight.

I, uh-I wanted you all here
so that I could tell you this.

I've decided to go public
with TaftCo Enterprises.

[ Chuckles ]

Wonderful! Oh, bravo! Excuse me.
Fantastic news!

Good for you!
Good for you!

Too bad when you do, the S.E.C.'s
gonna be all up in your ass.

[ Murmuring ]
What?

You see, you thought you all could get
together and play your little games,

have some fun, you know,
invite some geeks to the ball,

swap some stories, have a laugh.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

But you took it
a little too far...

when you gave an inside-trading tip
to my friend Mac, didn't you, Trevor?

What are you talking about?

- Pedro.
- [Whirring ]

And b y the way, my fa theris going
public with TafiCo next' week,

so buy stock toda y at 34, not' 36.
[All Gasp ]

Cool. Yeah, I'll call my broker.
Right, cal! your broker.

Ooh. You ready for
round two, big guy?

- This-This is taken out of context.
- What was the context?

It's wrestling.
It's wrestling.

We're oiled up and wrestling.

What is so hard
to understand about this?

_ f G.
- [Annféififiw]

[ Grunting ]

Nice, huh?

Trevor, you imbecile!
Why would you tell him that?

I didn't know
I was being filmed!

If you're in my room,
you're always being filmed.

It's true.
He does.

It's his thing.
It's kind of creepy, but-

But that's not all, everyone.

See, Ruby Taft, she likes to play her
little games too. Don't you, Ruby?

But I'm not gonna let you
humiliate my other friend either.

'Cause he might be choosing
someone else after all.

Charlie, phone call for you.

[ Frank ] Charlie, somebody accidentally
hit the waitress with my car-

their car-
when they were following her.

She-She wants to talk to you.
She says she really needs you.

Wait, did she say that,
or are you just saying it?

Yeah, talk to her yourself.

Charlie, look. I don't
know what's been going on.

But if you think you can make
it stop, I need your help.

[ Sighs ]
I want you back in my life.

- Do you really mean that?
- Yeah.

I need you.

Okay.
I'll be right there.

Awesome. Well, I'm out of here.
VVh at?

What are you talking about?
I'm leaving.

I'm going to be with the waitress.
She's the woman I love.

No, but I-I wasn't using
you like Trevor was.

He's a total asshole. I really,
really, really like you.

Oh.
Yeah, I know.

Okay?
I was using you.

That's why I kissed you
in front of the waitress.

That's why I banged you a bunch of times,
just to make the waitress jealous.

Amazing. You slept with
me almost instantly.

And by the way, a quality
woman doesn't do that.

She doesn't say yes right away. She says
no to a man, for years, like, 1 O years.

That's what a real woman does.

You know what you were acting like?
A stupid little rich slut.

And that's all that you are.

[ Sobbing ] How can
you do this to me?

Are you still talking?
Go away, dum-dum.

Go. Run and hide.
Go from me.

[ Sobbing ] I d0n't want
to see you anymore.

[ Chuckles ]
Women, right?

Ah, man. All right, cool.
I'm out!

Oh!

[Whistles ]
I didn't see that coming.

No.

Guess Charlie had the cruelest
intentions of all, huh?

Uh, see?
Feeling better?

Yeah.

You know, I-I've, um-I've been
thinking about the restraining order.

You're gonna get rid of it?
No. No, no.

But, um-But I was thinking
about reducing it...

from, like, a hundred
feet to, like, 5O feet?

[ Sighs ]
Awesome!

Okay-
Okay-

I can work with that. All right.

Oh, so now?
Starting now?

Yeah, probably. Could you
just leave the soup there?

Uh, is this okay
over here, or-

Uh, I don't think there's
50 feet in this room, so-

Um, I'll go down the hall.
Okay. Yeah.

I'll see you tomorrow.

All right. Well, that's fine.
From a distance though.

♪ At last ♪

♪ My love has come along ♪

♪ My lonely days are over ♪

♪ And life is like a song ♪♪

[ Voices Speaking Backwards]