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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:09,575 (SIGHS) 2 00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:01,776 Testing! 3 00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:11,179 Well, that seems pretty conclusive. She can also hear us. 4 00:01:28,663 --> 00:01:33,380 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 5 00:01:39,894 --> 00:01:41,263 Clear! 6 00:01:41,388 --> 00:01:44,072 This room gonna get some DIY! 7 00:01:44,198 --> 00:01:45,720 DIY! 8 00:01:45,849 --> 00:01:47,848 What is this impudence?! 9 00:01:49,248 --> 00:01:51,957 This is my room, do you hear me? My room! 10 00:01:52,083 --> 00:01:55,915 What sort of heathen just barges in on a lady while she's sleeping? 11 00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,920 What on earth is going on? 12 00:02:01,046 --> 00:02:03,263 ♪ Daddy gonna drill a hole in the wall... ♪ 13 00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:05,263 Daddy is not drilling any holes in any... 14 00:02:08,105 --> 00:02:09,887 This is beyond the pale! 15 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,397 No. What are you do...? 16 00:02:15,951 --> 00:02:19,263 Oh, you have got to be joking. 17 00:02:19,388 --> 00:02:22,143 Mike! 18 00:02:22,269 --> 00:02:24,263 This looks fun! 19 00:02:24,388 --> 00:02:27,160 I'm going to call it the smile hole. 20 00:02:27,286 --> 00:02:30,646 - Hello, Lady Button! Morning! - Mike! 21 00:02:30,772 --> 00:02:34,076 No, no, no! You can't just leave it like this. Where are you going? You can't just... 22 00:02:34,201 --> 00:02:36,985 So, what's your favourite morning song? I think mine is... 23 00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:41,265 ♪ There's a lark in the bushel at the corner of the... ♪ 24 00:02:43,187 --> 00:02:45,529 Mike! 25 00:02:49,356 --> 00:02:50,664 - They're back! - Who? 26 00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,388 Them! 27 00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:59,062 Don't shriek, you ill-bred hen. It is unseemly for a lady to... 28 00:03:00,254 --> 00:03:04,622 Him! Cover that up at once. You beastly wretch! 29 00:03:04,748 --> 00:03:09,133 I refuse to be taunted in my own home by that lying, cheating... 30 00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,304 Ex-husband. You know how it is. 31 00:03:12,135 --> 00:03:14,664 - Oh, we're the same height! - Do you need a tea? 32 00:03:14,789 --> 00:03:16,313 Lady coming through! 33 00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:17,843 What's your favourite colour? 34 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,280 - Oh, I do wish they wouldn't do that! - Aly! 35 00:03:24,406 --> 00:03:27,713 There's a cave one and there's an Army one and there's one with no pants on... 36 00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:30,319 - And a first from Cambridge! - OK, OK. 37 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:33,671 I know it may seem very real, but remember what they said at the hospital, yeah? 38 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,752 "May experience visual disturbances." 39 00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,125 But I can hear them too. 40 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:40,402 And my Uncle Graeme, he thought he could smell toast, but you know what? There was no toast. 41 00:03:40,528 --> 00:03:43,235 He was having a stroke! He died, Mike. 42 00:03:43,361 --> 00:03:44,321 OK, bad example. 43 00:03:44,447 --> 00:03:46,783 I'm just saying, think about it, what's more likely, 44 00:03:46,909 --> 00:03:50,316 that you can see ghosts, or that you're still suffering from severe concussion? 45 00:03:50,441 --> 00:03:52,151 - Ghosts. - Concussion. 46 00:03:52,388 --> 00:03:54,263 Exactly. You don't just... 47 00:03:54,388 --> 00:03:56,237 Robin, you've been here a while. 48 00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:58,025 Have you ever seen anything like this before? 49 00:03:58,133 --> 00:04:00,896 One time, yes. But was a bear. 50 00:04:01,022 --> 00:04:03,916 Bear was like, "Raargh!" and I'm like, "Argh!" 51 00:04:04,042 --> 00:04:08,023 and then he like, "Ooh, hurr, hurr!" And I'm like... 52 00:04:08,171 --> 00:04:10,177 "Woo!" And the bear's like... 53 00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,297 You had to be there. 54 00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:20,928 - Rare, then. - Or magic? 55 00:04:21,054 --> 00:04:24,541 - Black magic. - Perhaps she's just special. 56 00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:25,954 Indeed she is. 57 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,790 And you'll be back to your old self in no time. 58 00:04:27,915 --> 00:04:29,849 - Just give it a few days, yeah? - OK. 59 00:04:33,138 --> 00:04:34,338 - OK? - Yep. 60 00:04:36,287 --> 00:04:38,634 So, Mike, what are you up to? 61 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,956 Well, I'm hooking up all the stuff that we can't live without. 62 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,978 - So like heating and hot water and... - TV. 63 00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:45,077 But the boiler's next on the list! 64 00:04:45,388 --> 00:04:47,486 After that. 65 00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:49,281 Are you sure you know what you're doing? 66 00:04:49,388 --> 00:04:51,905 No. But Google does, so we're golden. 67 00:04:52,031 --> 00:04:56,353 Wowee. That's quite the encyclopaedia. 68 00:04:56,479 --> 00:04:59,586 It's gotta be, what, two CD-ROMs, min. 69 00:04:59,712 --> 00:05:03,323 It's all under control here, so why don't you go and relax? 70 00:05:03,449 --> 00:05:06,186 Have yourself a nice war... tepid bath. 71 00:05:06,312 --> 00:05:08,199 I'd like that. 72 00:05:08,324 --> 00:05:10,070 One of them just said what I said. 73 00:05:10,196 --> 00:05:13,580 See? It's all in your head. Just give it a few days, yeah? 74 00:05:13,706 --> 00:05:15,308 Now go on... Bath. 75 00:05:20,707 --> 00:05:22,396 Clearly, this changes things. 76 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:24,263 By some quirk of fate, it would seem 77 00:05:24,388 --> 00:05:27,017 - the new Lady Button... - She's no lady, and no Button. 78 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:30,440 Well, whoever she is, she can now both see and hear us, 79 00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:32,538 which opens up some intriguing possibilities... 80 00:05:32,663 --> 00:05:35,407 chiefly the potential for a full-frontal assault. 81 00:05:35,533 --> 00:05:37,359 Order them to leave. Face-to-face. 82 00:05:37,485 --> 00:05:38,826 Yes! 83 00:05:39,260 --> 00:05:44,643 Well, conversings with the dead be witchcraft. People been burned at the stake for less. 84 00:05:44,769 --> 00:05:47,991 Except of course she isn't truly conversing, is she? 85 00:05:48,117 --> 00:05:50,116 She may give ear to my overtures, 86 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:53,150 but, alas, she is yet to respond... to any of us. 87 00:05:53,276 --> 00:05:54,878 - She spoke to me. - What? 88 00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,911 - What? No, she did not. - Did. Said... 89 00:05:58,561 --> 00:06:00,309 - I don't think that's a word, Robin. - No. 90 00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:03,398 'Tis. I had cousin, that's all he said. 91 00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:06,660 She's not conversing because Mr Sledgehammer up there has convinced her 92 00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:08,982 we are just figments of her imagination, 93 00:06:09,108 --> 00:06:11,333 which is why we need a change of tactics. 94 00:06:11,459 --> 00:06:14,263 We work in shifts. Campaign of attrition. 95 00:06:14,388 --> 00:06:15,434 Guerrilla war. 96 00:06:16,622 --> 00:06:18,050 Gorilla always win. 97 00:06:18,176 --> 00:06:20,782 Why is it always about war with you? 98 00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:24,654 - Well... - What's wrong with a nice 'hello'? 99 00:06:24,780 --> 00:06:26,263 Maybe show them around. 100 00:06:26,388 --> 00:06:28,043 Then we could all sit down and have a nice friendly chat 101 00:06:28,168 --> 00:06:30,784 - about this whole hotel business. - It is nice to be friendly. 102 00:06:30,909 --> 00:06:33,851 - Ideally more than friendly. - Befriended by you lot? 103 00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:37,065 I can't think of anything more annoying. In fact, you know what? 104 00:06:37,191 --> 00:06:39,402 Do that! Yeah, good plan. 105 00:06:39,528 --> 00:06:43,470 That'll send them running. Perhaps I should handle the negotiations. 106 00:06:44,995 --> 00:06:49,196 Well, I did, after all, resolve the Arabian crisis of '91. 107 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:52,648 - What, you stopped a war? - No, I stopped a crisis. 108 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:56,144 By starting a war, as it happens, but, you know, that's not the point. 109 00:06:56,270 --> 00:06:59,221 The point is, I was lead envoy in the negotiations. 110 00:06:59,347 --> 00:07:00,668 Utter toffee. 111 00:07:00,794 --> 00:07:03,427 You couldn't negotiate your way out of a corn maze. 112 00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,403 How dare you! 113 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:09,192 I'm a respected politician and diplomat, 114 00:07:09,318 --> 00:07:11,467 and I will not have my credentials called into question 115 00:07:11,592 --> 00:07:14,320 by some work-shy Bohemian. 116 00:07:14,446 --> 00:07:16,796 That treaty was my legacy. 117 00:07:19,386 --> 00:07:21,735 Oh, yeah, oh, very, very funny. Fine! 118 00:07:21,861 --> 00:07:23,940 I'll prove it to you! Mmm. Yeah. 119 00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:26,006 Ho-ho! You'll see. 120 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,512 Imagine that slammed! 121 00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:40,888 ♪ Daddy's gonna give it some DIY, DIY... ♪ 122 00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:46,471 Right. I'll show them. 123 00:08:01,624 --> 00:08:02,913 That's better. 124 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:06,886 No, no, no, no, no, that's worse! This is awful! 125 00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,941 I shall write to the owners. 126 00:08:09,067 --> 00:08:10,771 But where's my quill? 127 00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:14,358 Maybe I left it downstairs. 128 00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:15,833 Oh, brick it up, you oaf. 129 00:08:15,959 --> 00:08:18,953 I refuse to spend eternity in the company of a halfwit. 130 00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:21,107 - I thought we were friends! - Friends 131 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:23,502 are peers and intellectual equals, Kitty. 132 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,565 - We are neither. - Fine! 133 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:28,427 Then I'm not letting you go in my canoe. 134 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:29,928 I just... 135 00:08:30,054 --> 00:08:31,645 Right, then. 136 00:08:31,934 --> 00:08:33,609 Old boiler. 137 00:08:40,388 --> 00:08:42,191 This'll learn those berks. 138 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,263 There's nothing to be scared of. 139 00:09:19,522 --> 00:09:23,728 ♪ Daddy gonna fix the boiler now... ♪ 140 00:09:26,388 --> 00:09:29,840 ♪ YouTube gonna show Daddy how... ♪ 141 00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:44,018 Come on! 142 00:09:48,784 --> 00:09:50,262 Oh, it's not playing ball, is it? 143 00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:55,664 - What's he doing? - Oh, no, Daddy. 144 00:09:55,789 --> 00:09:59,913 No, you need to prime the inlet pump, open the induction loop, 145 00:10:00,039 --> 00:10:03,263 repressurise the system, then connect the gas feed, 146 00:10:03,388 --> 00:10:06,020 - and then ignite the... - Or just hit it with a hammer. 147 00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:07,815 Unbelievable. 148 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,238 - Technophobe. - Yeah. 149 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,061 Right. It's going to take a sustained assault to grind her down, 150 00:10:13,187 --> 00:10:16,263 - so we'll take it in shifts. - I'll go first! We have a connection. 151 00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,838 A frisson, if you will. 152 00:10:17,964 --> 00:10:20,124 Maybe I should go first. Let her know the lay of the land. 153 00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:22,366 No. This is a military campaign, 154 00:10:22,492 --> 00:10:25,603 and I'm not the sort to bring up the rear. No, I'll go first. 155 00:10:25,789 --> 00:10:27,733 - Urgh! - And then you, Pat, 156 00:10:27,859 --> 00:10:29,263 and then Mary, and... 157 00:10:29,388 --> 00:10:31,448 Good heavens. What on Earth is that? 158 00:10:31,574 --> 00:10:35,263 Ah, now, that is the front bit of a television. 159 00:10:35,388 --> 00:10:37,352 I don't know where the back bit is, 160 00:10:37,478 --> 00:10:39,813 - but that's the front! - Extraordinary. 161 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:42,463 - Any luck with the boiler? - Nah, not really. 162 00:10:42,589 --> 00:10:46,263 It's in a pretty bad way. Looks like some idiot has taken a hammer to it. 163 00:10:46,388 --> 00:10:48,149 I'll have a look at it tomorrow. 164 00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:52,056 Connect this one to the one from the roof 165 00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,733 and we should... 166 00:10:53,859 --> 00:10:55,669 get a picture. 167 00:10:56,557 --> 00:10:59,689 Right. Over the top we go! 168 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,050 Now look here. 169 00:11:10,176 --> 00:11:13,264 As a officer of His Majesty's Armed Forces... 170 00:11:13,389 --> 00:11:16,674 it is my duty to inform you that you are considered an enemy insurgent 171 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:20,531 and you should surrender your territories to incumbent forces with immediate effect... 172 00:11:20,656 --> 00:11:22,913 or face the prospect... OK. 173 00:11:23,039 --> 00:11:25,989 - Very good. I see what you're doing. - ♪ La-la-la-la-la-la ♪ 174 00:11:26,115 --> 00:11:27,383 Two can play at that game! 175 00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,783 ♪ I am the very model of a modern Major-General I've information vegeta... 176 00:11:45,197 --> 00:11:47,128 ♪ ...ble, animal and mineral 177 00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:49,539 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical 178 00:11:49,664 --> 00:11:52,646 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical! ♪ 179 00:11:53,056 --> 00:11:56,165 You can run, but you can't... 180 00:11:57,911 --> 00:11:59,473 Hello to you. 181 00:12:00,098 --> 00:12:02,263 Hello! And welcome! 182 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,100 On behalf of me and my fellow dead people, may I just say... 183 00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:08,718 Oh, straight onto the tour, OK! On your left is the Master's chamber, 184 00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,844 or "chambre", that's French. Wait! 185 00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:14,578 You beautiful girl. 186 00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:28,520 Oh, no. 187 00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:33,003 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 188 00:12:33,221 --> 00:12:35,714 TV: Up next, Hitler's Secret Superweapons. 189 00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:39,159 Oh, good Chr... I mean, it's Christmas, it's Christmas morning! 190 00:12:39,752 --> 00:12:41,036 Alison? 191 00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:43,588 Aly? 192 00:12:45,224 --> 00:12:47,440 What the bally hell do you think you're doing, sir? 193 00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:50,901 What have you done with the tanks? You turn that back on this instant... 194 00:12:52,073 --> 00:12:53,264 Where are you going? 195 00:12:53,389 --> 00:12:56,263 If you were dead, I would thrash your bottom, sir! 196 00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:58,531 And there's been a settlement on this site for well over... 197 00:12:58,656 --> 00:13:01,590 - A while now, although this part... - You're not real. 198 00:13:01,716 --> 00:13:03,951 - Well, we're not alive, but we are... - I can't hear you. 199 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:06,099 - Well, clearly you can, because... - No, I can't. 200 00:13:06,224 --> 00:13:09,264 - Well, it's just, you keep answering me... - No, I don't. 201 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:13,080 - My turn? - Sorry, Tom, Captain said that Mary's next. 202 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:16,192 - Get out my way, you soppy bit o' rag. - Good luck. 203 00:13:16,318 --> 00:13:18,117 Although she's not much of a one for chitchat. 204 00:13:18,242 --> 00:13:22,657 Oh, don't you worries about me. I've got something up my sleeves. 205 00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:27,263 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 206 00:13:27,388 --> 00:13:29,893 get out, get out, get out, get out, 207 00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:31,386 get out, get out, get out... 208 00:13:37,388 --> 00:13:39,848 - Boo! - Oh, my...! 209 00:13:39,974 --> 00:13:42,088 - Boo! - Classic. 210 00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:46,018 - Yes, to replace the boiler. - So it needs amending. My entry. 211 00:13:46,143 --> 00:13:48,397 - To reflect my political achievements. - What did you say, sorry? 212 00:13:48,522 --> 00:13:50,798 There's plenty who've done worse than I did, believe you me. 213 00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:53,625 - My phone number... - The MP for Watney got horses involved. 214 00:13:53,751 --> 00:13:55,397 - 0-7-9... - Yeah, that's plural! 215 00:13:55,522 --> 00:13:58,263 - Horses! It was the shire ones as well. - Sorry, 0-7... 216 00:13:58,396 --> 00:14:00,672 - You know, the ones with the flares? - Can I call you back? 217 00:14:00,797 --> 00:14:03,851 A lady employs a knife AND fork. 218 00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:07,285 A lady pinches. Whores use rouge. 219 00:14:07,411 --> 00:14:10,496 A lady does not hold a carrot like that. 220 00:14:12,125 --> 00:14:15,763 A lady wouldn't tell me to do that to myself! 221 00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,263 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 222 00:14:18,388 --> 00:14:19,913 get out, get out, get out, get out, 223 00:14:20,038 --> 00:14:22,263 Get out, get out, get out, get 224 00:14:22,388 --> 00:14:24,473 - get out, get out, get out... - No better? 225 00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,617 get out, get out, get out, get out... 226 00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:29,025 Just give it till morning. I'm sure it'll pass. 227 00:14:29,151 --> 00:14:32,654 get out, get out, get out, get out. 228 00:14:43,787 --> 00:14:45,263 ♪ I... 229 00:14:45,388 --> 00:14:47,435 ♪ am the very model of a modern Major-General 230 00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:50,263 ♪ I've information vegetable animal and mineral 231 00:14:50,388 --> 00:14:53,263 ♪ I know the kings of England and I quote the fights historical 232 00:14:53,388 --> 00:14:57,263 ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical! ♪ 233 00:15:08,578 --> 00:15:10,177 Oh, God. 234 00:15:17,956 --> 00:15:21,029 I don't even feel the cold! 235 00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:25,107 - I am a strong, sane woman. - He'd crafted it from a rubber glove 236 00:15:25,232 --> 00:15:28,264 - and was using the gravy as lubricant. - Challenges only make me stronger. 237 00:15:28,389 --> 00:15:30,862 And you can imagine the jokes about "the Chancellor's red box". 238 00:15:30,987 --> 00:15:33,554 And then there was this Liberal fellow, well, you can imagine what he got up to. 239 00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:37,493 He was caught in a sailors' sauna, and he was not there to learn about boats. 240 00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:40,137 Get out, get out, get out, get out. 241 00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:41,629 Get out! 242 00:15:50,277 --> 00:15:52,276 Alone at last. 243 00:15:56,388 --> 00:15:57,682 - Alison! - Oh, God! 244 00:15:57,808 --> 00:16:00,304 - A moment, please, I beg of you. - You're in my head. 245 00:16:00,841 --> 00:16:02,906 And you in mine, my sweet! 246 00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:04,331 What are we doing? 247 00:16:04,457 --> 00:16:07,263 You're married, I'm dead. It can never work. 248 00:16:07,388 --> 00:16:09,056 Can it? Maybe it can. 249 00:16:09,182 --> 00:16:12,827 Like Romeo And Juliet, but specifically the bit where he's already dead 250 00:16:12,953 --> 00:16:15,263 and she kills herself to be with him? 251 00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:20,889 I am too bold. Forgive me. Accurse my impetuous loins! 252 00:16:21,256 --> 00:16:24,607 You're not yet free of that buffle-headed bobtail. 253 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,263 I'll wait for you, my comely nug. 254 00:16:27,388 --> 00:16:29,912 - Though some idea of timescale would be... - Oh! 255 00:16:30,038 --> 00:16:33,339 No, I understand, this is all happening so fast. 256 00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:35,171 I can wait! 257 00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:39,263 Lord knows I've had the practice. 258 00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:41,263 Come on, man! 259 00:16:41,388 --> 00:16:43,834 I'm trying! 260 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,397 Well, try harder, man! 261 00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:48,561 You! I demand you reactivate this device with immediate effect! 262 00:16:48,687 --> 00:16:50,952 - Any joy with the people from Goggle? - Me again! 263 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:54,068 Today I thought we could do halls and common passageways. 264 00:16:54,194 --> 00:16:56,397 Get out, get out, get out, get out, 265 00:16:56,522 --> 00:16:58,263 - Darling! There you are. - Ohh... 266 00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:00,798 - Now, I know I said no pressure, but... - None of it is real. 267 00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:02,263 None of it is real. 268 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:04,114 - A lady doesn't mumble. - Ohh! 269 00:17:06,389 --> 00:17:09,263 Don't suppose you've seen a body anywhere? 270 00:17:09,388 --> 00:17:10,588 Is that a no? 271 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,433 Will you be my friend? 272 00:17:34,652 --> 00:17:36,579 Do you think it's something we said? 273 00:17:37,737 --> 00:17:41,038 - And press the hilt of the venturi... - What is a venturi? 274 00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:44,061 - into the domed brass union. - What's a union?! 275 00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:50,464 Don't panic. It takes maybe ten, 20 seconds. 276 00:17:50,590 --> 00:17:52,072 Oh, that's good. 277 00:17:52,223 --> 00:17:54,360 Oh, that's bad. 278 00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:57,123 - Mike! - Jesus, you scared me! 279 00:17:57,249 --> 00:18:00,523 It's no good, I need to go and get some... Holy Mary Mother of God! 280 00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,532 - Oh, my God. - What's wrong? 281 00:18:03,658 --> 00:18:06,263 "What's wrong"?! The room is full of zombies! 282 00:18:06,388 --> 00:18:08,092 Donkeys? 283 00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:09,664 Honey, I promise you it isn't. 284 00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,531 Then I have to go back to the hospital and get some drugs 285 00:18:11,656 --> 00:18:13,554 or some therapy or a bang on the other side of my head, 286 00:18:13,679 --> 00:18:15,263 or whatever it takes to stop me from seeing the cast of 287 00:18:15,388 --> 00:18:17,263 The Night Of The Dead every single time I walk into a room! 288 00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:19,912 It's Night Of The Living De... Not now. 289 00:18:20,038 --> 00:18:21,847 I can't go on like this, OK? 290 00:18:21,973 --> 00:18:24,798 So you either drive me to the hospital right now, or I drive myself. 291 00:18:24,923 --> 00:18:26,264 And I see things that aren't there! 292 00:18:26,389 --> 00:18:28,646 Well, we are. I'll get my keys. 293 00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:31,395 Ohh. Red lever. 294 00:18:33,388 --> 00:18:36,198 - Red lever! - Red lever! 295 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,798 - Red lever! - Red lever! 296 00:18:40,816 --> 00:18:42,263 What now? Aly?! 297 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:45,065 What's wrong? 298 00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,501 Red lever! 299 00:18:46,627 --> 00:18:47,839 Red lever? 300 00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,771 Oh! On it! 301 00:18:57,872 --> 00:18:59,747 Oh, what? 302 00:19:07,557 --> 00:19:09,766 - How did you know about the red...? - Maybe we should go. 303 00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,264 Yeah, yeah, we're going. 304 00:19:11,389 --> 00:19:13,263 No, no, no, I mean away from here. 305 00:19:13,388 --> 00:19:15,162 Just move out. It just doesn't feel right. 306 00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,962 What? Why would you say that? 307 00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:20,605 It's hard to put my finger on. 308 00:19:20,730 --> 00:19:23,952 All right. Just one thing at a time, yeah? We'll talk about this later. 309 00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:25,825 Ooh! Electric windows! 310 00:19:25,951 --> 00:19:27,826 - Get out of here! - OK, OK! 311 00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:42,480 I say. 312 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,390 Well, fascinating. 313 00:19:44,590 --> 00:19:47,709 But you don't see them now, do you? 314 00:19:47,835 --> 00:19:49,710 Not since we left the house. 315 00:19:50,086 --> 00:19:52,151 Maybe I'm on the mend! 316 00:19:52,277 --> 00:19:54,014 Yes, I know how loans work. 317 00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:55,664 - Sort of. - As I've said before, sir... 318 00:19:55,789 --> 00:19:57,913 But surely if we just give you the money back, then... 319 00:19:58,038 --> 00:20:00,410 - we cannot end the agreement now. - Yes. 320 00:20:00,536 --> 00:20:02,200 - Do you see? - Yes, I see. 321 00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,204 - Do you think it was related to the accident? - Oh, yes, undoubtedly. 322 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:06,438 Oh, good. 323 00:20:06,564 --> 00:20:10,264 So it should just stop happening, as I heal? 324 00:20:10,389 --> 00:20:13,725 Well, my diagnosis, based on what you've told me, 325 00:20:13,851 --> 00:20:17,045 is that your accident left you so close to death yourself, 326 00:20:17,171 --> 00:20:19,454 you're now able to see dead people. 327 00:20:19,689 --> 00:20:22,650 - What do you mean? - Well, can you see me? 328 00:20:22,776 --> 00:20:24,397 - Yes. - Exactly. 329 00:20:24,522 --> 00:20:26,317 I'm dead. 330 00:20:26,443 --> 00:20:28,442 So sorry to have kept you. 331 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,489 Oh, she's very good. 332 00:20:33,709 --> 00:20:34,997 What can I do for you? 333 00:20:35,123 --> 00:20:38,263 - All right, listen to what I'm... - Wait. 334 00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:40,160 The doctor's dead! 335 00:20:42,388 --> 00:20:43,752 I just... 336 00:20:44,621 --> 00:20:47,263 I don't understand. If it's come back, why not accept the sedatives? 337 00:20:47,388 --> 00:20:49,714 - I mean, they might help with... - Because... 338 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,993 back at the house I see the same faces every day. 339 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:55,932 But at the hospital, completely different ones. 340 00:20:56,058 --> 00:20:58,263 Different places, different faces. 341 00:20:58,388 --> 00:21:00,766 - Why would my brain do that? - OK, that is... 342 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:04,006 It wouldn't. Because they're not in here. 343 00:21:04,294 --> 00:21:05,494 They're out there. 344 00:21:26,095 --> 00:21:28,741 Right, we're selling up. We'll buy a little new-build. 345 00:21:28,867 --> 00:21:32,115 One of those soulless little boxes that I've always hated. 346 00:21:32,388 --> 00:21:36,866 One bed's fine. Just somewhere with absolutely no past whatsoever. 347 00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:39,263 Right. Yeah. 348 00:21:39,388 --> 00:21:40,698 It's just... 349 00:21:40,923 --> 00:21:42,949 OK, well... 350 00:21:43,291 --> 00:21:44,745 - I don't want you to get mad. - Am I going to get mad? 351 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:49,120 Yes. I spoke to the loan people and, with the prepayment penalties and... 352 00:21:50,015 --> 00:21:53,263 Well, long story short, getting out now 353 00:21:53,388 --> 00:21:54,987 would probably bankrupt us. 354 00:21:55,113 --> 00:21:58,208 And I only added "probably" to make it sound better. 355 00:21:58,388 --> 00:21:59,879 Didn't you read the contracts?! 356 00:22:00,005 --> 00:22:01,787 I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim. 357 00:22:01,913 --> 00:22:04,520 Oh, Mike, I could kill you! 358 00:22:04,646 --> 00:22:06,263 Ooh! Good idea! 359 00:22:06,389 --> 00:22:08,435 Though maybe not here, just because he might... 360 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:13,140 Right! 361 00:22:13,997 --> 00:22:16,139 Well, there's only one thing for it, isn't there? 362 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,162 Fine! I see you! OK?! 363 00:22:21,288 --> 00:22:23,065 I see Major-General Can't-Sing, 364 00:22:23,190 --> 00:22:25,181 I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you! 365 00:22:25,307 --> 00:22:28,264 OK? You win! Mission accomplished! 366 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:32,012 I admit your existence. Now what the hell do you want?! 367 00:22:32,138 --> 00:22:34,995 - We want you out of this house! - Yes, you do not belong here! 368 00:22:35,159 --> 00:22:36,476 Well, that's tough, isn't it? 369 00:22:36,602 --> 00:22:40,264 Because thanks to my resident mortgage advisor, we're stuck here! 370 00:22:40,389 --> 00:22:43,508 - OK, you're officially freaking me out. - So how about you leave? 371 00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:46,659 - We can't leave. - You sort of just stays where you dies. 372 00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:48,836 And how you dies... Died! 373 00:22:48,962 --> 00:22:50,462 It's your classic haunted house. 374 00:22:50,588 --> 00:22:52,861 - Er, Alison... - Whoa. Right. 375 00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:55,468 So I can't go and you can't go. So... 376 00:22:55,921 --> 00:23:00,104 what will it take to get you all just out of my face, huh? 377 00:23:00,822 --> 00:23:02,804 What do you want? What do you actually want?! 378 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,463 Specifically! You? 379 00:23:05,804 --> 00:23:07,930 Right! I'll tell you what we want. 380 00:23:08,056 --> 00:23:09,852 We demand that... 381 00:23:11,186 --> 00:23:12,966 One hour a week of the thing about tanks 382 00:23:13,092 --> 00:23:15,032 and anything on superweapons, please? Thank you. 383 00:23:15,157 --> 00:23:17,271 - Done! Next. - It feels like I should call someone? 384 00:23:17,388 --> 00:23:20,056 Who you gonna call?! You, Sourpuss. 385 00:23:20,182 --> 00:23:23,928 Remove my husband's portrait, and fill the hole in my wall! 386 00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:26,872 - Done. You? - Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me. 387 00:23:26,998 --> 00:23:28,149 - No. - To which bit? 388 00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:30,628 - You? - I just wanted to say hello!! 389 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:32,308 - Hello! - Oh, hello. 390 00:23:32,434 --> 00:23:35,263 And on behalf of myself and my fellow ghosts... 391 00:23:35,388 --> 00:23:38,263 Listen. I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle 392 00:23:38,388 --> 00:23:41,263 to amend my entry for the next edition. I am a respectable... 393 00:23:41,388 --> 00:23:43,264 It doesn't work like that, it's the internet. 394 00:23:43,389 --> 00:23:45,397 Right. And where are they based? 395 00:23:45,522 --> 00:23:49,149 It's everywhere. In every house in the country, in the world. 396 00:23:49,275 --> 00:23:53,263 You mean every person on the planet just thinks of me as the weirdo MP 397 00:23:53,388 --> 00:23:55,263 who died in some sex scandal? 398 00:23:55,388 --> 00:23:57,962 - That was you?! - What? No! 399 00:23:58,388 --> 00:24:01,174 I don't want anything, actually. Who's next? 400 00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:03,559 Renounce Satan, witch! 401 00:24:03,685 --> 00:24:05,394 Um... OK! 402 00:24:05,637 --> 00:24:08,263 Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it. 403 00:24:08,632 --> 00:24:11,952 And what about you, Budget Tarzan? 404 00:24:12,078 --> 00:24:13,264 What do you want? 405 00:24:13,389 --> 00:24:15,466 - Oh, nuffin', thanks. - Nothing? 406 00:24:16,513 --> 00:24:18,152 So you just spent... 407 00:24:18,862 --> 00:24:20,834 So you just spent the last three days 408 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:25,037 hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, 409 00:24:25,163 --> 00:24:27,745 scaring me out of my mind, 410 00:24:27,871 --> 00:24:29,316 for no reason?! 411 00:24:29,808 --> 00:24:31,263 Well, it was something to do. 412 00:24:31,388 --> 00:24:33,175 My turn! I think we've got a lot in common. 413 00:24:33,300 --> 00:24:35,263 OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break" 414 00:24:35,388 --> 00:24:38,057 and I'm not saying that this is one, but there is an article 415 00:24:38,183 --> 00:24:39,262 that I think you should have a... 416 00:24:39,388 --> 00:24:41,137 Mike, this isn't... Can you just come with me? 417 00:24:41,262 --> 00:24:42,902 All of you! 418 00:24:43,028 --> 00:24:45,879 - Where are you going? - To shut you all up. 419 00:24:46,005 --> 00:24:48,696 Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko. 420 00:24:49,231 --> 00:24:50,896 Dooka-dakka-deeko. 421 00:24:52,007 --> 00:24:53,387 OK, you go. 422 00:24:53,513 --> 00:24:55,531 Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 423 00:24:55,656 --> 00:24:57,303 Even more softly. 424 00:24:58,923 --> 00:25:00,263 When's our sleepover again? 425 00:25:00,388 --> 00:25:02,121 - Eighth of March. - And what is it now? 426 00:25:02,246 --> 00:25:04,514 - June. - Oh! So exciting! 427 00:25:06,043 --> 00:25:07,383 How long's this on for? 428 00:25:07,509 --> 00:25:09,497 I need to contact this Vicky Pedia. 429 00:25:16,778 --> 00:25:18,313 Er, well played. 430 00:25:18,439 --> 00:25:21,887 Perhaps there is some Button blood in those veins after all. 431 00:25:22,388 --> 00:25:23,264 Yeah. 432 00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:26,263 Well, I'm not sure I buy all this, but I've moved the painting. 433 00:25:26,388 --> 00:25:27,397 And bricked up the hole? 434 00:25:27,522 --> 00:25:30,159 Yeah, I filled the hole. 435 00:25:34,265 --> 00:25:36,347 Oh, this will NOT stand! 436 00:25:38,056 --> 00:25:39,699 Well, you seem happier. 437 00:25:40,449 --> 00:25:43,103 The good news is I'm not mad. 438 00:25:43,229 --> 00:25:45,396 That's a relief. What's the bad news? 439 00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:52,016 They are. 440 00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:10,569 - Alison! - Turn the right-hand dial horizontal. 441 00:26:12,389 --> 00:26:14,388 And press the ignition. 442 00:26:15,114 --> 00:26:16,314 Hey! 443 00:26:17,270 --> 00:26:18,470 OK. 444 00:26:19,656 --> 00:26:22,263 I believe you. And, er... 445 00:26:22,958 --> 00:26:25,180 - thank you? - They say you're welcome. 446 00:26:25,306 --> 00:26:28,301 "They"? You mean there's two of them?! 447 00:26:32,286 --> 00:26:33,486 Yes. 448 00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:38,212 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 34807

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