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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,200 - I swear, if'n you don't learn to share this honey... 2 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,400 I'm gonna give you a real whuppin: 3 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,800 Now go on! 4 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:02,200 - Is the doctor in? - No doubt about it. 5 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:06,300 - What's ailin' ya, Fat Elmer? - I et too much cheese. 6 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,300 Now I can't burp. 7 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,700 Can ya fix me, Granny? 8 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,900 Dang. 9 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,100 Before I sign anything... 10 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,700 I want to know how much money we're talkin' about. 11 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,700 Mr. Clampett, there's more petroleum in your swamp... 12 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:34,500 than there is in all of Kuwait. 13 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,800 - That bad, huh? - Mr. Clampett... 14 00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:42,300 you are sitting on the biggest domestic oil strike in history. 15 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:46,300 And when you sign these contracts, we're going to pay you one billion dollars. 16 00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:51,800 Do you have anybody who can advise you on these contracts? 17 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,700 Cousin jethro's a-comin'tomorrow night for Sunday supper, Pa. 18 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,000 He's the one with the learnin'. He went to school at Oxford. 19 00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,900 - Jethro. - Yes, Ma? 20 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,300 Did you fix those bare-as-bones brakes like I told you? 21 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,300 Of course. I pulled 'em off yesterday. 22 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,500 The new ones are comin' in the mail next week. 23 00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:41,800 - Jethro! - Howdy, Granny. 24 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:45,400 Oh! You dadblamed simpleminded yahoo! 25 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:49,000 Your crack-bucket head's emptier than last year's bird's nest. 26 00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,800 If your head was filled with dynamite... 27 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,800 - Ow! Ow! - You wouldn't know how to blow your nose! 28 00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,900 - You... - Ow! 29 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,100 - Granny! Ow! Granny! - Just get out of my sight! 30 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,700 Now, jedediah... 31 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,200 you're fixin' to be the richest man in this here county. 32 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:10,700 Look at how you live. Why, your land's overrun with snakes and skunks. 33 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,100 You got no TV, no telephone and no radio. 34 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:19,700 You're right, Pearl. We are a-livin'in paradise. 35 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,300 No, Jed! Paradise is someplace like... 36 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,300 Beverly Hills, Californy. 37 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,900 - They got swimmin'pools. - Mm-hmm. 38 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,300 - And movie stars. - And smog. 39 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,400 What's a smog? 40 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,800 I reckon it's a small hog. 41 00:06:41,900 --> 00:06:45,900 Now, if you're not gonna think about yourself, think about your daughter. 42 00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:49,300 You need to get remarried, jed, and she needs a ma... 43 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,600 someone to teach her womanly ways. 44 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:56,300 - She's runnin'wild, jed. She's no different than a boy. 45 00:06:56,400 --> 00:07:00,500 Imagine that. Elly May wearin'fancy dresses... 46 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,400 and actin' ladylike! 47 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:07,500 Well, that don't sound like much fun. 48 00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:14,300 Beverly Hills. 49 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,600 Listen to what I'm sayin: jed. 50 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,200 It would be the best thing for y'all. 51 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:24,800 Just pack up all your belongin's and move on out there. 52 00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:28,800 Jethro could drive you out in his truck. 53 00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:32,700 I ain't drivin' in no movin' vehicle with no dunderhead. 54 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,900 I ain't no dunderhead. 55 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,200 - Come on! Put me down! - Set him down. 56 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,200 - See what I mean? - Who are you, mister? 57 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,500 Ozark Mountain Oil. Mr. Briggs sent me to see if you'd signed the contract. 58 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,700 - Oh, my. - Elly May Clampett. 59 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,400 Well, that's it. 60 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,500 I've made my decision. 61 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,700 For the good of this here family... 62 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,900 I'm a-movin' us to Beverly Hills. 63 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:12,100 Now, don't you worry, Elly May. 64 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,400 - We gonna take good care of your critters for ya. - Okay, Sam. I know you will. 65 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,700 Oh, Ma! 66 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:31,000 What's all this I hear about you not wantin' to go to Californy? 67 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,300 I like it here. Say what you will... 68 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:36,600 but there ain't nothin' you can do to get me off of this rockin' chair. 69 00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:41,800 - I ain't goin' nowheres! Cut me loose! - It's a long ride to Californy. 70 00:08:41,900 --> 00:08:44,900 Jedediah Clampett, I'm gonna skin you alive! 71 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,600 Hush up, Granny. 72 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,800 Get goin', boy, before she breaks loose. 73 00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:51,800 I ain't a-goin:! 74 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,200 Watch your head, Granny. 75 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:36,200 There's so many people in this here town. 76 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:39,600 Goin' to take a long time to meet everybody. 77 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:42,600 Hey! Nice wheels, buddy! 78 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:48,000 - Jethro, why do you think that feller's pointin' at us? 79 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,300 I reckon that's the way they wave "howdy" in Californy. 80 00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,500 - Has, uh... - Uh.! Excuse us.! 81 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,600 Has escrow closed on the Clampett estate? 82 00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:04,100 Yes, chief. With an offer of 22 million in cash, it closed swiftly. 83 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,100 And I must say, it is inspirational... 84 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,000 how you happened to find a place for the Clampetts right next-door to your own. 85 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:11,000 Hathaway, the people who lived there... 86 00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:13,700 were my best friends and neighbors for over 20 years. 87 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,700 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 88 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:21,000 Yeah. I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have anything to do with it. Well. 89 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,700 - Now, um, what time does their fight arrive? - That's just it, chief. 90 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,900 - They're driving. - Driving? 91 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,600 From Arkansas? 92 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,000 I know it makes no sense whatsoever. 93 00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,400 Not to you, perhaps. 94 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,700 But to a man with vision, like myself... 95 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:46,200 - That is a sign of daring, self-confidence, vigor. - Of course, chief. 96 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:52,200 Hmm. Doesn't he look busy at work. 97 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,400 Tyler. 98 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,700 - Would you step in here for a moment, please. - Oh! 99 00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:03,600 - Geez. - It's an earthquake.! 100 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,700 Oh. 101 00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,500 - You wanted to consult with me? - Sit down, Tyler. Relax. 102 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,600 I have heard that you are quite excited about the arrival of the Clampetts. 103 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:33,400 I think that you and I, together... 104 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:37,600 can fully exploit the potential of the Clampett financial portfolio. 105 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:40,200 Hmm. 106 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,600 You and I. The two of us. 107 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,700 I've already taken the liberty of drawing up the power of attorney papers. 108 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:50,500 - Have you now? - So I can write checks, arrange investments... 109 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,700 make international transactions. 110 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,400 - Really work the Clampett account. - Hmm. 111 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,100 We'll be quite the team, sir. 112 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,300 Mmm. 113 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,100 Tyler, you will personally rescind, shred and burn... 114 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:07,100 every paper you have drawn up with regard to the Clampett account. 115 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:12,200 - I'll be handling that account personally. - Duly noted. 116 00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,500 And nice kick, sir. 117 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,600 Took me completely by surprise. 118 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,000 Tyler. 119 00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:24,700 - The Clampetts will not be badgered. - Sir? 120 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,500 They are not your common garden-variety millionaires. 121 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:31,500 They are, in fact, billionaires. 122 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:36,000 By definition, people of, uh, discrimination... 123 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:39,400 discernment, great refinement. 124 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,500 Boy, howdy.! 125 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:48,400 Hey! Jethro, we's supposed to go thataway. 126 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,300 Hey! You cut us off, you bunch of nothin's! 127 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,700 That's real nice, son. 128 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,700 This here's what I carry. 129 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,300 Okay. Go! Go, go! 130 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,900 Margaret! 131 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,300 Morgan, come in here a minute, please. 132 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,700 Hi. I'm Doug Llewelyn, and welcome to the People's Court. 133 00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,200 Where is your mother? 134 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,300 She's changing. 135 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,800 That would be too much to hope for. 136 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:39,000 - Oh. - Milburn, I'm sorry. I have to cancel our lunch. 137 00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:42,200 - What? - I have to spend more quality time with Babette. 138 00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:47,600 Margaret, dear, we are trying to do more things together... put the spark back, remember? 139 00:13:47,700 --> 00:13:50,000 You claim the defendant has your dog? 140 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,000 - Um, well, actually... - Yes or no? 141 00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,700 - Yes, we do. - Morgan. Morgan. - It's my dog. 142 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,000 - It's your dog? - Yes. I raised this dog from a pup, and due to... 143 00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,600 Morgan, I have a little job for you. 144 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:07,600 - Ajob? - Yes. J.D. Clampett has a daughter your age. 145 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,800 Now, she's goin' to high school with you. 146 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:11,800 I want you to show her around. 147 00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,600 - Just be her friend. - Oh, man. 148 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,200 You wanna pay me to hang out with her? 149 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:20,500 She must be a major bowwow. 150 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,600 Son. 151 00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:24,700 Morgan. 152 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:27,100 Close your eyes. 153 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,500 Close your eyes. 154 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,600 Now picture this. 155 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,600 I cut off your allowance... 156 00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,600 Cancel your credit cards... 157 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:37,800 And delete you from my will. 158 00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:40,900 Now, how do you see your future? 159 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,700 Grilling frozen cow parts at Burger King? 160 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,900 And people say you're stupid. 161 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,300 Monday morning, first period, 8:00 a. M... 162 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:53,600 she'll be like the little sister Mom thought would ruin her figure. 163 00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:02,800 - The dog will go to the plaintiff, Rusty. 164 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,900 Honey, I'm home. 165 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,600 Why don't you come here and give your little embezzling cowboy a ride around the bungalow. 166 00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,300 - No. - Why not? 167 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:37,600 'Cause I'm still living in this dump when I should be living in a mansion in Beverly Hills. 168 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,000 Laura, sweetheart. 169 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:43,300 Bungalows 3A, 3B and 3C are in Los Angeles. 170 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,900 We live in 3G which, technically, is in Beverly Hills. 171 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,800 You're all talk, Tyler. 172 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:51,000 You said we'd have enough money this month... 173 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,600 to buy me that little baby sealskin coat. 174 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:57,000 - We will. - Promises, promises. 175 00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:59,000 Sweetie, we will. 176 00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:02,500 J.D. Clampett, the billionaire, just opened up an account at the bank. 177 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,700 Who is this Clampett guy? 178 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,300 If he's so rich, how come I've never heard of him? 179 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,100 Baby cakes, this guy's got more money than he knows what to do with. 180 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,300 Now, that's a problem I think we can help him with. 181 00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:21,800 Stop the car, Jethro! 182 00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:23,800 They's a fresh kill in the road. 183 00:16:23,900 --> 00:16:26,000 - Can't just leave it there. - You're right, Granny. 184 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,700 Roadkill stew sounds mighty good right now. 185 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,800 Oh, no, you don't, you old coot! I seen it first! 186 00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:37,400 - Milburn, call Westec Security. - Well, I... 187 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,500 I'm sure there's enough for us all. 188 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,400 Eww! How revolting. 189 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:45,500 Easy now, Granny. They're probablyjust bein'neighborly... 190 00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,600 like them nice folks we met on that extry-wide road. 191 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:51,000 Well, let's give 'em a Californy howdy. 192 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,000 - Howdy, y'all.! - Howdy.! 193 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:58,000 Milburn! 194 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,100 Did you fip me off? 195 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:39,000 You reckon we're at the wrong spot, UncleJed? 196 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,000 Could be. Don't know. 197 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,700 It's the right address, Pa. 198 00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,800 Whee doggies! 199 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,100 The whole place looks brand-new. 200 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,700 Hey, UncleJed, there's a whole 'nother house up here. 201 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,400 This is a big ol'house. 202 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:45,000 Why do you reckon they got two sets of steps? 203 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:47,200 That's easy. 204 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,700 One's for goin' up. The other's for goin' down. 205 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,900 Oh. 206 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,500 What a pretty critter. 207 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,000 Hello, police? This is Miss Jane Hathaway. 208 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,100 I wish to report the unlawful entry... 209 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,800 of a gang of armed and dangerous hooligans at the Clampett estate. 210 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,700 518 Crestview Drive. 211 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:12,500 - I need you here code three, and I will be timing you. 212 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,500 I think you got you a new friend, Duke. 213 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,400 Cease and desist.! Everyone.! 214 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:23,300 If I were you, sir, I would yield, submit and capitulate. 215 00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:27,600 What are you desperadoes doing here? 216 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,400 - Well, it's a mighty long story. - But he don't mind tellin' it. 217 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,200 - Pa was a-huntin' one day with old Duke. - Duke spotted this jackrabbit. 218 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,900 - So I throws up my gun, and I takes my aim... - Don't shoot! 219 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,400 Pardon, ma'am? 220 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:48,300 Two minutes and 46 seconds. 221 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:53,900 Go.! Go.! Go.! 222 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,800 I need three men over there on the south side.! 223 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,900 Attention, inside.! You're surrounded.! 224 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:06,800 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time.! 225 00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:10,500 - Don't shoot! Oh! They've taken me hostage! - Attention, inside.! 226 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,000 Drop your weapons and file out one at a time! 227 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,200 This is the Beverly Hills Police Department. 228 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,200 Told you this warn't no house. 229 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,900 - You heard him. It's the police department. - This is your last warning.! 230 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,900 All right! Fire one in! 231 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,600 Look. 232 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,400 They's a-playin' kick the can. 233 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:46,900 Move in! 234 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,400 I knew we shouldn't have never left home. I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! 235 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:56,500 Right this way. We've I.D. 'd them all. 236 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,000 - Excellent. - We want the wheels of justice to spin quickly. 237 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,700 These criminals must be prosecuted and incarcerated... 238 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,700 before our client finds out what happened. 239 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,800 Exactly. 240 00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:10,200 The reputation of Milburn Drysdale is at stake. 241 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,900 Would everyone turn to the right, please. 242 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,700 Huh.! Hmm.! Pathetic. 243 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,000 Now we have, starting on the left, a Jedediah Clampett. 244 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:23,100 - Then, next to him, his daughter, Elly May. - Huh? 245 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:27,200 And a Daisy Mae Moses, a. k. a. "Granny. " 246 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,000 And a nephew, jethro Bodine. 247 00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:35,500 And some woman involved in a drive-by slapping. 248 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,300 Oh, chief. Chief. Are you okay? 249 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,600 Chief. Quickly! Say something! 250 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,400 Say something! 251 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:52,200 You're fired! 252 00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:56,100 Mr. Clampett, sir! I am deeply sorry... 253 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,100 for any embarrassment my former assistant might have caused you. 254 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,200 - L-I... - Yes, sir. L-I... 255 00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:04,900 I- I humbly apologize for my egregious error. 256 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,100 And rest assured that it will never happen again... 257 00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,200 as I am no longer in the employ of the bank. 258 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:12,600 Chief, Mr. Drysdale, I will clean out my desk at once. 259 00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,900 Oh, dear.! Oh, please, don't trouble yourselves. 260 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,000 Please, gentlemen. Oh. Oh, thank you. Don't trouble yourselves. 261 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,200 Oh, I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh, thank... No. 262 00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,800 So, then everything is fine? 263 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:31,700 Mr. Clampett, please don't take your money from my bank. 264 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,100 I'll do anything you want. I'll contribute to charities, anything. 265 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,600 I'll eat mud. 266 00:22:38,700 --> 00:22:40,700 That won't be necessary. 267 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:44,600 All I want is for this here lady to watch over my affairs. 268 00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:48,500 Me? You want me? 269 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:50,700 Well, I reckon you done what you done... 270 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:53,400 'cause you didn't know we was who we was. 271 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,500 And if we hadn't have been who we was... 272 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,600 we'd have still been much obliged for you a-doin' what you done. 273 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:03,700 Mr. Clampett, I will work very hard for you. 274 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,600 I trust you will. 275 00:23:05,700 --> 00:23:08,300 Is that all right with you, Mr. Drysdale? 276 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,500 That's exactly what I'd do in your situation. 277 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,600 - So we got ourselves a deal. - Ah! 278 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,700 Absolutely! 279 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,900 Yeah. 280 00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,000 Just to show you there's no hard feelin's... 281 00:23:24,100 --> 00:23:26,600 we'd like to invite you and your family to Sunday supper. 282 00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:30,400 - Thank you. We'll be there. - It'll give me the opportunity to swap recipes with your wife. 283 00:23:30,500 --> 00:23:32,400 Oh, she'd love that. 284 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,500 Here you go. 285 00:23:41,700 --> 00:23:45,700 - What-What are you doing? - We're just payin' our respects. 286 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,000 - You... - Oh. 287 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:50,600 Oh. Oh, no. This is a limousine. 288 00:23:50,700 --> 00:23:53,000 You'll be going home in this. 289 00:23:53,100 --> 00:23:55,800 You take this, and I'll follow you in my Rolls-Royce. 290 00:23:57,100 --> 00:24:00,500 - There you go. - Is that your car? 291 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,800 - Yes, it is. - Ain't that fancy! 292 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,600 Can I drive it? 293 00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:10,100 You drive my $180,000 Rolls-Royce? 294 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,100 Uh, well, of course you can, son. I think that's a great idea. 295 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,100 Hot dog! 296 00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:49,700 Howdy! 297 00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:54,200 Oh, isn't this exciting? 298 00:24:54,300 --> 00:24:56,700 Elly May Clampett, sit down! 299 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,900 Oh, excuse me. 300 00:25:04,100 --> 00:25:06,400 Hello. 301 00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:08,700 Let Mr... Let Mr. Clampett know... 302 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,700 that the full weight of the bank is ready to help them. 303 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:15,100 - Yes, chief. - She thinks she's talkin' to somebody. 304 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,800 Ain't even a cord there. 305 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,600 Like real estate, bonds, securities. 306 00:25:21,700 --> 00:25:24,600 Whatever it is he wants, it's his. 307 00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:28,900 Mr. Drysdale wants you to know that the bank is ready to help in any way that it can. 308 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,900 There's one reason and one reason only I moved out here. 309 00:25:32,900 --> 00:25:34,800 I'm lookin' to get hitched. 310 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,800 Chief, he says he wants to get hitched. 311 00:25:37,900 --> 00:25:40,900 - "Hitched"? - Married. 312 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,100 - Married? - Chief, that's what I said. 313 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,100 Miss Hathaway, if... if Clampett wants a wife... 314 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,700 tell him that you will personally find him one. 315 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:54,900 Oh, chief, capable as I may be, matrimonial brokering is... 316 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,900 Is now one of your specialties. 317 00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:00,100 Congratulations, Miss Hathaway, and good luck. 318 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,500 Yes, sir. Oh, dear. 319 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,100 No problem. Uh, Mr. Clampett. 320 00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:12,900 Just exactly what are you looking for in a fianc�e? 321 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,400 A "fianc�e"? 322 00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:18,500 "Fianc�e"is French for the person you intend to marry. 323 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,200 Well, I'm lookin' for a refined lady... 324 00:26:21,300 --> 00:26:23,900 to help me raise my daughter, Elly May. 325 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,400 Aw, Pa, I'm already raised up. 326 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:30,900 And refined. 327 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,000 - Ah. - Elly May, don't spit from a movin' vehicle. 328 00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:37,500 Wait till it stops. 329 00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:45,400 Jethro, save some for our guests. 330 00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:51,900 Here you go, Unclejed. 331 00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,800 I think old Duke is sweet on your critter. 332 00:27:00,900 --> 00:27:04,800 She's not a critter. She's a champion French "Barbonet. " 333 00:27:04,900 --> 00:27:09,500 And her purebred puppies are gonna be worth $3,000 each. 334 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,300 Uh, son, what, uh... What do you do? 335 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:14,500 Don't know. What do you do? 336 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,500 Oh, I'm just president of a bank. 337 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,000 Wow. UncleJed, can I be a president too? 338 00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:25,600 Now, Jethro, that's a mighty disrespectful thing to say to Mr. Drysdale. 339 00:27:25,700 --> 00:27:29,400 - No. - Ask him if you can be vice president. 340 00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:33,700 Vice president. 341 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,200 Uh-huh. 342 00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:53,800 Vice president. Mm-hmm. I think so. 343 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,100 We can... We can always use another good man. 344 00:27:56,200 --> 00:28:01,100 Hoo-whee. I'm gonna get me a fancy offiice and a pretty secretary. 345 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:05,300 There's them bells again. 346 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,400 Jethro, I bet you there's somebody standin'at that front door right now. 347 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,800 If I was you, I'd eat real quick whilst he's gone. 348 00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:21,000 Oh, that's good. Margaret, why don't you help yourself, dear. 349 00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:23,800 - Oh, good Lord. - What is it? 350 00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:30,500 - Howdy, mister. - Hi. I'm Woodrow Tyler. 351 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,600 - I'm here to seeJed Clampett. - Well, come on in. 352 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,000 No, no. No. 353 00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:45,600 - Tyler. Well, what brings you here? - Sir, hello. 354 00:28:45,700 --> 00:28:50,400 We took up a collection to buy these beautiful flowers for our newest clients. 355 00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:52,900 Welcome to Beverly Hills. 356 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,100 Well, thank you, sonny. 357 00:28:55,200 --> 00:29:01,100 Tyler, can the ham. Just introduce yourself and get out of here, okay? 358 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:04,300 - Very pleased to meet you. - Howdy! 359 00:29:07,100 --> 00:29:10,900 Elly May Clampett! 360 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,000 - He was fixin' to bite my hand. - Well, stand him up. 361 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,000 - Tyler, apologize. - My fault completely, Mr. Clampett. 362 00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:22,800 I moved too quickly. 363 00:29:22,900 --> 00:29:26,400 You have a beautiful daughter... and very strong. 364 00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:29,300 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 365 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,400 What could help Elly May be as refined as you? 366 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,500 Well, I went to finishing school in France. 367 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:39,900 No one understands refinement and sophistication better than the French. 368 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:44,200 Hmm. Do you think we ought to move ourselves to France? 369 00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:47,000 - Yes, I do. - No, you don't. No, she doesn't. 370 00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:50,600 Actually, you can find a good French tutor that'll come right to your home. 371 00:29:52,100 --> 00:29:55,300 I don't wanna change. I just wanna be who I am. 372 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:58,500 - And I ain't goin'to no France.! - Oh, my. 373 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,100 Excuse me. 374 00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:04,800 - Mrs. Drysdale. - Hmm? 375 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,900 If you ain't gonna eat them vittles, can I have 'em? 376 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:11,400 Of course you can, son. Bon app�tit. 377 00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:13,500 Thank you. 378 00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:24,900 Elly May, come on down here. 379 00:30:29,900 --> 00:30:33,400 - How'd you know where I was, Pa? - 'Cause ever since you could walk... 380 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:36,600 you've been climbin' trees and cuddlin' with your critters. 381 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:51,600 It's high time you started thinkin' about changin' some things. 382 00:30:51,700 --> 00:30:54,700 You need to start wearin' dresses and fixin' up nice. 383 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:58,000 But, Pa, folks would call me a sissy. 384 00:30:58,100 --> 00:31:00,700 It ain't sissy for girls to act like girls. 385 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,000 Ever since your ma died, I done what I knew best... 386 00:31:06,100 --> 00:31:08,500 and raised you up like a boy... 387 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,100 roughhousin', fishin', fightin'. 388 00:31:11,300 --> 00:31:13,800 Yeah. That stuff's fun. 389 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:18,500 Elly, nature made you a girl, and here lately... 390 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,600 she's been gettin' more and more positive about it. 391 00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,600 Aw, Pa. 392 00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,200 Every time I look into your eyes... 393 00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:30,200 I can see your ma there. 394 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,500 Was my ma refined? 395 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,600 Oh, yes. 396 00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:42,100 She was a real genteel lady. 397 00:31:44,700 --> 00:31:48,900 I miss her so much... even now. 398 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,800 I wanna be just like my ma was. 399 00:31:54,100 --> 00:31:57,300 I reckon I do need somebody to teach me the ways. 400 00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:00,000 Yeah, reckon you do. 401 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,800 And now I got the means to make that happen. 402 00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:23,300 Tyler, don't you have anything better to do today? 403 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:27,000 I just thought you'd wanna know more about the richest dumb guy in America. 404 00:32:27,100 --> 00:32:31,300 - He's a hayseed, a hillbilly. - Mm! 405 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,500 So this Clampett guy should be easy, huh? 406 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,000 Yes, but we better do it fast before he gets married. 407 00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:40,200 Married? Tyler, Clampett's getting married? 408 00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:43,700 No, but he wants to. 409 00:32:47,500 --> 00:32:50,700 - He's a horny old goat lookin' for some action? - Nah. 410 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,700 He's just looking for a refined lady... 411 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,400 - to help raise his hellcat daughter, Elly May. - Hmm. 412 00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:59,700 But he did seem interested when somebody brought up the idea of a French tutor. 413 00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:03,100 Hmm. A French tutor. 414 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,600 Bonjour. My name is Laurette Voleur... 415 00:33:23,700 --> 00:33:27,100 and I am a... French governess. 416 00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:29,400 Well, come on in, ma'am. 417 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,700 Bonjour. I am going door-to-door... 418 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,600 to see if anyone needs my services. 419 00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,500 - My business card. - "Mademoiselle. " 420 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,100 "Mademoiselle... " 421 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:47,000 - Sorry, ma'am. I don't think so. - Are you sure? 422 00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:54,800 - Yep. - There is not a young woman in the house... 423 00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:58,400 who is perhaps a bit, uh, unruly? 424 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,200 Not that I can think of, but, then again, we just moved here. 425 00:34:03,300 --> 00:34:07,300 Nobody in need of refinement and sophistication? 426 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,400 No. Maybe you oughta try the neighbors. 427 00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:19,300 Oh, well, I am so sorry to bother you. 428 00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:22,300 I will be going now. 429 00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:25,700 Well, what's the problem, ma'am? 430 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:30,800 I was just hoping that my services would be needed, but... 431 00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:34,200 - Well, what do you do? - I teach, um... how do you say this... 432 00:34:34,300 --> 00:34:39,600 oh, rambunctious teenage girls how to be more ladylike and proper. 433 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:46,500 Well, dog my cats. You know, Mrs. Drysdale was just telling us... 434 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,500 about how the French was the best at finishing a gal out. 435 00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,800 Oui, they are. They are the very, very best... 436 00:34:52,900 --> 00:34:56,700 at making a woman a woman. 437 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,700 Hey. I just thought of somethin'. 438 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,700 Maybe she could help with Elly May. 439 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,300 Oh. 440 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,500 Here, Rascal. 441 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:16,700 Yeah. 442 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:20,200 You like swimmin' in this cement pond, don't you? 443 00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,600 You like it too, Frankie? 444 00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:24,700 Takin'that duck for a swim? 445 00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:32,100 And over here by the cement pond is my daughter Elly. 446 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,200 Elly, say hello to Miss Laurette. 447 00:35:34,300 --> 00:35:36,800 - Howdy, Miss Laurette. - Bonjour, Elly May. 448 00:35:36,900 --> 00:35:38,800 It is such a pleasure to meet you. 449 00:35:38,900 --> 00:35:40,800 I was thinkin', every day after school... 450 00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:43,900 maybe Miss Laurette could help teach you to be a lady. 451 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:45,900 - How about that? - Okay. 452 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,900 Spanky likes you. 453 00:35:50,500 --> 00:35:52,700 Not as much as I like him. 454 00:35:54,300 --> 00:35:57,300 Go on, now, and stay out of trouble. 455 00:35:58,500 --> 00:36:01,700 I finally figured this game out, Spanky. 456 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,700 You take this ball... 457 00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,900 you put it down this here gully. 458 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,600 It rolls down yonder. 459 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:14,200 Then you hurl yourself down this slippery gully... 460 00:36:14,300 --> 00:36:18,200 and see how many of them there snake-bashin' clubs... 461 00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:21,800 you can knock down... before the ball gets there. 462 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,700 What a stupid idiot. 463 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:29,100 Did you say somethin', ma'am? 464 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,900 What a stupendous intellect. 465 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,200 That's 'cause I graduated the sixth grade, ma'am. 466 00:36:35,300 --> 00:36:37,500 Only took three years. 467 00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:07,800 Now, Elly May, sit straight, chin up... 468 00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:12,300 and try to practice looking interested when people are boring you. 469 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:24,400 Ah, greetings, Mr. Clampett. 470 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,500 - Well, howdy, Miss Jane. - Hello, Elly May. 471 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,000 Miss Jane, this here is Miss Laurette Voleur. 472 00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:32,800 Bonjour, Mademoiselle Laurette. Comment allez-vous? 473 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:35,800 Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut. 474 00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:39,800 - I must only speak the English in front of Elly May. - Of course. 475 00:37:39,900 --> 00:37:43,800 Uh, Mr. Clampett, drawing from Commerce Bank clientele... 476 00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:47,400 I have selected some preliminary bridal prospects for you. 477 00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:50,800 Oh.! Oh, dear.! Oh, my goodness.! 478 00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:54,200 Mon Dieu.! How clumsy of me. I'm so sorry. 479 00:37:54,300 --> 00:37:56,600 Oh. Oh, it's no... no problem. 480 00:37:56,700 --> 00:38:00,300 No problem whatsoever. At the bank, I have these in triplicate. 481 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,900 - I shall return. - I'll walk you out, Miss Hathaway. 482 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,900 Why, thank you, Jethro. 483 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,100 So, Mr. Clampett... 484 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,600 perhaps we should discuss my, uh, weekly salary? 485 00:38:18,700 --> 00:38:21,000 Shoo! 486 00:38:21,100 --> 00:38:25,100 Shoo! 487 00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:36,200 Shoo, cow. Excuse me, I'm just going to reach over here and press this button. 488 00:38:36,300 --> 00:38:38,300 Hello. Can anyone hear me? 489 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,800 Can anyone hear me? 490 00:38:40,900 --> 00:38:43,600 - Yeah. - Can somebody help me? 491 00:38:43,700 --> 00:38:46,900 - Hello? - Miss Hathaway? 492 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:49,900 How's it feel to live in Beverly Hills? 493 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:53,400 - Hello? - I can hear you. Where are you? 494 00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:56,600 Please, can somebody let me out of here? 495 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:59,600 I am trapped inside the wall. 496 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:02,400 Hello? Hello? 497 00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:05,100 - Hello? Hello? - Just stay put, Miss Hathaway. I'll get ya out. 498 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,600 Hello? 499 00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,700 Watch your head. 500 00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:20,200 Miss Hathaway? 501 00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:23,500 Yoo-hoo! 502 00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:30,500 I'm in. This is gonna be easier than I thought. 503 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,600 So, they bought the French thing? 504 00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:35,900 Mais oui. They're bumpkins. 505 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,000 It's a crime they have so much money. 506 00:39:38,100 --> 00:39:40,900 It's worse than a foreigner winning the lottery. 507 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,300 I know exactly what I'm gonna do. 508 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,400 First, I'll lure in Clampett. That'll be easy. 509 00:39:46,500 --> 00:39:51,100 Next, I'll take Elly May and slap on a little window dressing. 510 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,600 Make him think I turned her into a real lady. 511 00:39:54,700 --> 00:39:57,200 Then, when the time is just right... 512 00:39:57,300 --> 00:39:59,800 I'll play one off the other and... wham! 513 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:03,900 - They won't know what hit 'em. - You're not gonna sleep with him, are you? 514 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,500 - That's not your problem. - Okay, Laura? 515 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:09,300 I got my hand on your butt. 516 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,400 Okay. Hold on. 517 00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:13,700 I got someone on call waiting. 518 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,900 Hello? Hello? 519 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,800 It was nobody. Okay, now. 520 00:40:21,900 --> 00:40:25,000 I got my hand on your butt, and I'm squeezing. 521 00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:27,900 Tyler! Get your hand off my butt. 522 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,800 - Mr. Drysdale! - Get a pencil and write this down. 523 00:40:30,900 --> 00:40:32,900 Yes, Mr. Drysdale. 524 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,100 Right. Uh-huh. I can do that. 525 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,300 Howdy, I'm Elly May. You must be Mr. Drysdale's son. 526 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:10,200 Well, thanks for picking me up. Is this here your car? 527 00:41:15,100 --> 00:41:19,400 Are we goin' to school, or are we just goin' to stand here all day? 528 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:28,800 - Hey, y'all. Howdy. - She's with me. 529 00:41:28,900 --> 00:41:31,000 Heck, Morgan, I'm tryin' to be friendly-like... 530 00:41:31,100 --> 00:41:33,700 but these folks don't seem to want to say howdy back. 531 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,000 - They sure are shy. - So what? 532 00:41:36,100 --> 00:41:38,300 Elly May, who cares? They're losers. 533 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,500 Not one of them is worth over 300 million. 534 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,700 - Uh-oh. - Well, if it isn't Morgan... 535 00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:45,300 spelled big "M," little "organ. " 536 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:49,400 - We've gotta go. - Not so fast, bank boy. Cough up your lunch money now. 537 00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:52,600 All I have is $400 in traveler's checks. 538 00:41:52,700 --> 00:41:55,700 So just sign them and hand them over. 539 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,200 Jake, show these two what happened to the last guy who didn't pay up. 540 00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:05,900 Well, I can wire the money to your account. 541 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000 Before the close of the business day. 542 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,400 I don't see why you had to give anything to that gorilla. 543 00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,100 Well, that gorilla is the captain of the wrestling team. 544 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,200 Wow. I never wrestled a team before. 545 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:24,100 - Well, 'lessen you count the McCarter triplets. - Cappuccino? 546 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,200 - What? - Two. 547 00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,800 Thank you, Tiffany. 548 00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:38,100 This here electronic whittler works real fine. 549 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,500 Why, hello, Jethro. 550 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,300 Well, howdy, Miss Hathaway. 551 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,800 My, don't you look strapping in your new business suit. 552 00:42:50,900 --> 00:42:55,800 - Armani? - No. I'm pretty sure it's wool. Sure does itch like wool. 553 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,700 - Miss Hathaway? - Oh, no, no. We're colleagues. 554 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,600 Call meJane. MeJane, you Jethro. 555 00:43:06,300 --> 00:43:09,600 Okay. Okay, Miss Hathaway. 556 00:43:09,700 --> 00:43:13,300 Can I get one of these electronic whittlers for UncleJed? 557 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,800 - It's his birthday coming up real soon. - Let me make a note of that. 558 00:43:16,900 --> 00:43:20,000 And speaking of your UncleJed, back to the job at hand... 559 00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:22,800 - Finding him a suitable wife. - Can I help? 560 00:43:22,900 --> 00:43:26,100 Heck, back in the hollow, my ma was the best matchmaker around. 561 00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:28,600 - Is that so? - Uh-huh. 562 00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:33,200 First thing she'd do is get the back-fence gossips start a-jawin'. 563 00:43:33,300 --> 00:43:35,200 Why, we could drop some items in the trades. 564 00:43:35,300 --> 00:43:38,200 - Excellent. - Thank you. 565 00:43:38,300 --> 00:43:41,500 And then she'd... What'd she do? 566 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:45,300 She'd hang a sign on the church bulletin board. 567 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,700 Maybe we can get a big bulletin board. 568 00:43:48,800 --> 00:43:51,200 No, no. We'd better be a bit more discreet. 569 00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:54,200 Tell me, what are your uncle's favorite things? 570 00:43:54,300 --> 00:43:56,200 Shoot, that's easy. 571 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:59,700 - He likes smoked crawdads. - Mm-hmm. 572 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,700 Sowbelly and hand-slung chitterlings. 573 00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:04,200 And sponge cake. 574 00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:06,400 Besides food, Jethro. 575 00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:11,100 - Oh. He likes people who don't waste nothin'. - Oh, go on. 576 00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:15,600 And his favorite song is "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" by Hank Williams. 577 00:44:15,700 --> 00:44:18,900 - Yes! - Yes, ma'am. 578 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:18,100 Entrez. 579 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:26,300 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 580 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,300 is that Hank Williams I hear? 581 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,300 I'm sorry. It must be too loud. 582 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,600 - I will... - No, no. 583 00:45:32,700 --> 00:45:35,800 I was just listening to it while repairing this old dress... 584 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,900 and, uh, waiting for my sponge cake to bake. 585 00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:41,000 You're cookin' a sponge cake? 586 00:45:41,100 --> 00:45:44,300 Oui. It is my sp�cialit�. 587 00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,500 I love this music. 588 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,500 It makes me want to dance. 589 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,800 It's so romantic. 590 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:40,100 You are a fine dancer... 591 00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,000 and a very attractive man. 592 00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:46,300 Whomever Miss Hathaway finds for you to marry... 593 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,500 is going to be a very happy woman. 594 00:46:48,700 --> 00:46:51,100 Well, thank you, ma'am. 595 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:55,400 And all women know "a-penis" is hard to find. 596 00:46:58,100 --> 00:47:01,300 - Excuse me? - "A-penis. " 597 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,700 Oh, happiness! 598 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:08,500 Well, uh... 599 00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,800 I've disturbed your work enough, ma'am. 600 00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,700 Jethro, have you considered getting a new car? 601 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:30,200 Nope, but I told UncleJed we should slap a new coat of paint on this'n. 602 00:47:30,300 --> 00:47:32,600 But he said just 'cause we had money... 603 00:47:32,700 --> 00:47:34,800 we didn't need to go showin' it off. 604 00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:36,900 I was just thinking, oh, you should, you should. 605 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,100 You would look so good in a big new fashy car. 606 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,600 Big fashy car, huh? Maybe. 607 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,100 Yep. 608 00:47:48,200 --> 00:47:52,400 Okay, Miss Jane, I'm 'bout ready to pull over. 609 00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:55,200 You are so impossibly romantic. 610 00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:57,600 Close your eyes. 611 00:47:57,700 --> 00:47:59,600 Hot diggity dog! 612 00:47:59,700 --> 00:48:02,500 Okay, now, keep 'em closed. 613 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:05,300 How charmingly old-fashioned. 614 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,800 Mm. 615 00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:10,000 Open your eyes and look up. 616 00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:13,500 Ain't she pretty? 617 00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,100 Oh, my God! 618 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,600 The chief is going to kill me. 619 00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:33,200 We'll be back with the financial news after this message. 620 00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:35,800 Howdy. I'm jethro Bodine. 621 00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:38,000 I'm talkin' to all you ladies out there. 622 00:48:38,100 --> 00:48:40,300 Are you looking for the perfect husband? 623 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,300 Then considerjed Clampett. 624 00:48:42,400 --> 00:48:45,000 Yes, Jed is rated triple A's... 625 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:49,300 for a-ttractive, a-vailable, and a-billionaire. 626 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,400 So come on down to the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills... 627 00:48:52,500 --> 00:48:54,600 and see me, jethro Bodine, vice president. 628 00:48:54,700 --> 00:48:56,600 - Dear, what's the matter? - And remember. 629 00:48:56,700 --> 00:49:00,500 I'm not onlyJed's wife finder. I'm also his nephew. 630 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,500 I'm ruined. 631 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:37,900 Oh! 632 00:49:51,100 --> 00:49:53,800 Howdy. 633 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,100 Thank you. 634 00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,900 Hathaway, you are embarrassing this institution! 635 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,900 This is a carnival. 636 00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:06,300 What kind of a numbskull would think up a harebrained scheme like this? 637 00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:08,400 That'd be me, Mr. Drysdale. 638 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,300 Y- Your idea. Well... 639 00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:13,200 Well, it's brilliant.! 640 00:50:13,300 --> 00:50:15,700 Insightful. Cutting edge. 641 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:17,900 You're a born leader, son. 642 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:21,500 We've have had 1,215 women respond to the ad. 643 00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:23,600 - And two men. - Wh... 644 00:50:23,700 --> 00:50:27,700 Once I've entered the data into the computer, worked my magic... presto. 645 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:32,500 - We will narrow them down to a precious few. - Send in the next five. 646 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:36,200 Oh, uh, Hathaway, uh, you're not validating parking, are you? 647 00:50:36,300 --> 00:50:38,200 Parking? Um... 648 00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:40,600 Oh, that was my idea too, Mr. Drysdale. 649 00:50:40,700 --> 00:50:44,800 Well, it's a brilliant idea, if I may say so. 650 00:50:44,900 --> 00:50:47,400 Let's see, uh... 651 00:50:47,500 --> 00:50:51,100 1,215 women... and two men. 652 00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:53,300 At a dollar and a half every 15 minutes. 653 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,300 Ah, well, that's only gonna cost me 5... 654 00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,900 5-5-5-5... $5,000. 655 00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:02,100 Well... 656 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,700 - Bonjour, Jethro. - Well, howdy, Miss Laurette. 657 00:51:10,900 --> 00:51:12,800 What is all of this? 658 00:51:12,900 --> 00:51:16,300 Miss Jane said a big fancy car would be more suitin' to my personality... 659 00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,400 so I'm fixin' on makin' one out of my truck. 660 00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:23,100 Personally, if it would have been me, I would have just bought a new one. 661 00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,600 But... carry on. 662 00:51:28,700 --> 00:51:30,700 What a moron. 663 00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,100 Hey, organ, what are you doin' here? 664 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,100 - You come here to wrestle me? - No. 665 00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:39,100 Or did you just come here to kiss the gym foor? 666 00:51:39,200 --> 00:51:41,800 Come on, Morgan, just kiss it. Come on, kiss it. 667 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:43,900 Why don't you pick on somebody your own size? 668 00:51:44,100 --> 00:51:46,400 And what business is it of yours, baby? 669 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:50,000 What are you doing here, anyway, corn pone? 670 00:51:50,200 --> 00:51:52,800 I came by to join the wrestlin' team. 671 00:51:52,900 --> 00:51:54,800 I don't wrestle girls, at least not in the gym... 672 00:51:54,900 --> 00:51:56,800 but in your case, I'll make an exception. 673 00:51:56,900 --> 00:51:58,900 - Good. Then let's get started. - Whoa! 674 00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:03,500 - I'm gonna kill you! - I'm goin' to kill you.! 675 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,500 No one is going to kill anyone here! 676 00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:07,600 Not without a signed permission slip from home. 677 00:52:07,700 --> 00:52:10,300 - Got it? - Got it, Coach. 678 00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:14,700 So, Jethro... 679 00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:18,000 building on your visionary plan for finding your uncle's wife... 680 00:52:18,100 --> 00:52:22,000 I've... I've created this rather modest database program. 681 00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:25,200 I've cross-referenced the applicants... 682 00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:29,200 against the parameters you indicated he desired... 683 00:52:29,300 --> 00:52:33,200 by specifying the search criteria into functional groupings... 684 00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:36,800 and selecting the fiield values... 685 00:52:36,900 --> 00:52:39,000 through the use of embedded commands... 686 00:52:39,100 --> 00:52:43,400 and, of course, basic Boolean algebra. 687 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:50,700 Miss Jane, I have no idea what you just said. 688 00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:58,200 Oh, Jethro, you are so delightfully... primitive. 689 00:53:01,500 --> 00:53:04,600 Uh, Miss Hathaway, would you step into my office, please. 690 00:53:04,700 --> 00:53:07,800 - And bring the, uh, the Arlington file. - Yes, sir. 691 00:53:07,900 --> 00:53:09,900 - I'm sorry. - Mr. Drysdale... 692 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:13,000 since I have trained three Kentucky Derby winners for other people... 693 00:53:13,100 --> 00:53:17,100 it seems a logical extension that I'd want to own and operate my own stud farm... 694 00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:18,900 Arlington Acres. 695 00:53:19,000 --> 00:53:22,000 Well, it's just... It's just a very exciting idea. 696 00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:25,100 Then you agree that his net worth and rural background... 697 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,700 makeJed Clampett the perfect partner for such a venture. 698 00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,200 Absolutely. You and Clampett, partners in a stud farm. 699 00:53:31,300 --> 00:53:34,300 - I think it's a wonderful idea. - So you'll call him and arrange for us to meet? 700 00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,600 You bet I will. 701 00:53:36,700 --> 00:53:39,600 - I'm sure he can't wait to see you. - Oh. 702 00:53:39,700 --> 00:53:43,300 In fact, as soon as you leave, I'm going to call Mr. Clampett on the phone. 703 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,700 - Ah! This is very exciting. - Isn't it? 704 00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,600 Yeah. 705 00:53:48,700 --> 00:53:51,300 But, chief, you specifiically told me... 706 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,700 that you did not want Mr. Clampett involved in such a risky venture. 707 00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,700 Exactly. Shred and burn that. 708 00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,300 And don't ever let that lady back in this offiice. 709 00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,900 It went fantastically. 710 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:05,900 Mr. Drysdale said I would be a perfect partner for Mr. Clampett. 711 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,800 Yes. I'll tell you more when I get back. Bye. 712 00:54:11,700 --> 00:54:15,800 Excuse me, ma'am. If Mr. Drysdale thinks you'd be perfect for my UncleJed... 713 00:54:15,900 --> 00:54:19,300 I can take you over to meet him right now. 714 00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,800 - Wonderful! - Come on. 715 00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,500 I think you're gonna like Miss Arlington. 716 00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:28,400 Miss Jane picked her out with her computer-datin' base. 717 00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:31,500 Then Mr. Drysdale personally approved her. 718 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,200 Computer-datin' base, huh? 719 00:54:34,300 --> 00:54:37,200 What'll they think of next? 720 00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:41,000 - Hello, Miss Arlington. - Mr. Clampett. 721 00:54:41,100 --> 00:54:44,800 Well, gee, uh, I don't know quite how to begin. 722 00:54:44,900 --> 00:54:47,900 Then let me start. 723 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:52,200 I know, by just looking at you, you are the perfect man for my stud farm. 724 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:57,000 - Stud farm? - If it makes it any easier for you... 725 00:54:57,100 --> 00:55:01,400 I am willing to take on multiple partners. 726 00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:04,700 Multiple partners. 727 00:55:08,500 --> 00:55:10,400 Uh, no offense, ma'am... 728 00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:13,600 but I'm afraid I'd find that just a tad uncomfortable. 729 00:55:15,700 --> 00:55:17,700 Well, what if it was with somebody you really trusted... 730 00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,700 like Mr. Drysdale? 731 00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:23,100 I don't think this is the sort of thing... 732 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,700 Mr. Drysdale would want to be involved in. 733 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,000 Oh, well, you should have seen his face... 734 00:55:28,100 --> 00:55:31,000 when I showed him the pictures of what I have in mind. 735 00:55:31,100 --> 00:55:34,100 - He was very excited. - I don't doubt that. 736 00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,900 Would you like to see the pictures? They're very detailed. 737 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,400 Not just yet! 738 00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,400 Don't you think we're movin' awful fast? 739 00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:46,800 Oh, not as far as I'm concerned, Mr. Clampett. 740 00:55:46,900 --> 00:55:49,900 I've got my license, and I'm ready to breed. 741 00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:54,400 Excuse me, ma'am, uh... 742 00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:56,600 I could use a glass of iced tea. 743 00:55:58,000 --> 00:55:59,800 - Yourself? - Sure. 744 00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:03,400 I'm learnin' Elly May to ride my motorcycle! 745 00:56:03,500 --> 00:56:06,800 - How do you stop this thing? - I'm gonna tan your hide.! 746 00:56:06,900 --> 00:56:10,800 You're doin' real good. Now put on the brakes! 747 00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:12,800 - Granny? - Whoa.! 748 00:56:12,900 --> 00:56:14,800 I'm gonna get you! 749 00:56:17,900 --> 00:56:20,000 Granny! Watch your head! 750 00:56:24,100 --> 00:56:27,300 Stop! Oh-oh-oh! 751 00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,000 - Dang! - I'll help you, Granny. 752 00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:37,400 Come on. Swim over here. 753 00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:39,600 There we go. Give me your hand. 754 00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:42,500 Upsy-daisy. Come on. 755 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:44,900 There we... Ow.! Granny.! 756 00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:47,600 Ow! Ow! Ow! Granny! 757 00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,100 Miss Arlington, you reckon if we got hitched, 758 00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:53,000 you could help me tame my daughter, Elly May? 759 00:56:53,100 --> 00:56:55,800 Are you proposing we get married? 760 00:56:55,900 --> 00:56:59,800 Well, I wouldn't feel right about breedin' if we didn't. 761 00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:13,700 Okay, men, that's it. Hit the mineral baths. 762 00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,100 - Howdy. - Well, well. Look who's here. 763 00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:19,900 - Missed you at practice, babe. - She didn't come alone. 764 00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:21,900 Hey, Morgan. What are you doin' here? 765 00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:27,800 - Well, who's all these folks? - Just to keep things fair. 766 00:57:27,900 --> 00:57:30,700 - Is this some kind of joke? - Well, come on, baby. 767 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,500 Let's wrestle. 768 00:57:35,100 --> 00:57:37,700 - Come on! - Come on. Give it to him. 769 00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,700 Oh, wait. That's mine. 770 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,000 It's mine. 771 00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,200 Come on, man. You can do it! 772 00:57:47,300 --> 00:57:50,000 - Fight in the gym. - All right. - Cool. 773 00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:09,800 Wait. Hold on. I'm getting a fax. 774 00:58:13,300 --> 00:58:16,100 Meet me there. 775 00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,600 This here's what I call the Clampett clamp. 776 00:58:28,700 --> 00:58:30,500 That's not legal. 777 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,900 Really? Well, try this one. 778 00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:38,200 Hey, come on. 779 00:58:38,300 --> 00:58:41,000 - I call it the possum pretzel. - That ain't legal either. 780 00:58:41,100 --> 00:58:44,400 - Well... - Ow! 781 00:58:46,100 --> 00:58:48,200 What about the hickory nut crunch? 782 00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:54,900 That's definitely not legal! 783 00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:58,700 Well, ain't nothin' legal 'round here? 784 00:59:07,100 --> 00:59:10,400 One, two... 785 00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,800 One, two... 786 00:59:15,900 --> 00:59:19,200 - Yeah! - Three. 787 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:33,400 Young lady! 788 00:59:33,500 --> 00:59:36,300 I think we've found a new team captain. 789 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:39,400 Sorry, Derek. You're demoted. 790 00:59:40,900 --> 00:59:42,500 Come here, Morgan. 791 00:59:42,600 --> 00:59:45,200 Thanks, y'all. 792 00:59:52,300 --> 00:59:57,400 I truly appreciate y'all a-tossin' me this here fancy birthday party. 793 00:59:57,500 --> 01:00:00,800 Everybody looks just as nice as peach pie. 794 01:00:00,900 --> 01:00:04,300 I just got one question for you... 795 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,900 - Who are these people? - Well... 796 01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,400 Howdy, Miss Jane. 797 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,900 Oh, my goodness, jethro. 798 01:00:20,500 --> 01:00:24,900 I took your advice... made me a big fashy car. 799 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:28,200 It's very you. Very, very macho. 800 01:00:28,300 --> 01:00:32,000 - Thank you. - Well, shall we? 801 01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:39,300 Is Pa here yet? 802 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:45,000 Elly May Clampett, you look plumb elegant. 803 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:49,000 Thanks, Pa. I feel kind of funny gettin' all gussied up like this... 804 01:00:49,100 --> 01:00:52,600 but Miss Laurette says I'll get used to it. 805 01:00:54,100 --> 01:00:57,000 You've done a fine job in turnin' Elly May into a lady. 806 01:00:57,100 --> 01:00:59,800 Thank you, Monsieur Clampett. 807 01:00:59,900 --> 01:01:03,700 She is a diamond in ze rough, just like you. 808 01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:07,900 What's all this? 809 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:11,300 Sushi, calamari, caviar. 810 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,400 What? Speak American. 811 01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:17,100 Listen, I was wondering if, um... 812 01:01:17,200 --> 01:01:19,200 maybe sometime we could go out. 813 01:01:19,300 --> 01:01:23,600 Not on a date or anything, but just maybe to go get some burgers or something. 814 01:01:23,700 --> 01:01:26,500 Take off that silly hat. 815 01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:31,300 Then again, I would, uh... understand if you didn't want to. 816 01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:35,200 Sounds like fun. 817 01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:38,600 So, Jethro, once we find your UncleJed a wife... 818 01:01:38,700 --> 01:01:42,500 - Perhaps it'll be your turn to get hitched. - Me? No. 819 01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:45,600 I'm gonna be a Hollywood bachelor... 820 01:01:45,700 --> 01:01:47,800 date all the hot young starlets. 821 01:01:47,900 --> 01:01:51,700 Well, let me remind you not to overlook the charms of the slightly older woman... 822 01:01:51,800 --> 01:01:56,200 who more than makes up with experience what she may lack in other arenas. 823 01:01:56,300 --> 01:01:58,700 Okay, Miss Jane. 824 01:01:58,800 --> 01:02:01,000 No problem. 825 01:02:01,100 --> 01:02:05,600 - Oh, please, let me. - Tyler, clam it. It's showtime. 826 01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:14,800 Miss Laurette? Why are you cryin'? 827 01:02:16,700 --> 01:02:19,600 I- I have just spoken with your father. 828 01:02:19,700 --> 01:02:23,000 And he says I would make ze best wife for him. 829 01:02:23,100 --> 01:02:27,300 - He did? - But as happy as I would make him... 830 01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:32,900 I am afraid that you will think I'm too young and beautiful to be your mother. 831 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:40,100 Who'd of thought it... Miss Laurette and my pa? Hmm. 832 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:45,000 Oh, where is he? Oh. 833 01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,800 So I can call you whenever I want? You'll hotfoot it right over? 834 01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:53,600 - Mm-hmm. - Hot dog. 835 01:02:53,700 --> 01:02:56,200 Thank you. 836 01:02:58,700 --> 01:03:03,500 I will miss Elly May so much when you find yourself a wife. 837 01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:09,300 - And I will miss you too. - I hadn't thought about you not bein' here. 838 01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,200 It's sure been a pleasure to have you stay with us. 839 01:03:12,300 --> 01:03:14,000 Thank you. 840 01:03:14,100 --> 01:03:16,000 Jed? 841 01:03:16,100 --> 01:03:19,200 Elly May said ze strangest thing to me tonight. 842 01:03:19,300 --> 01:03:22,100 She said she would love for me to be her mother. 843 01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:26,900 I'm sure she'll get over the disappointment in whomever you choose. 844 01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:31,800 I love Elly May just like a daughter. 845 01:03:31,900 --> 01:03:34,100 Perhaps you should speak with her. 846 01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:36,400 I'll do that. 847 01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,100 Well. 848 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,100 This here's a big night for you... 849 01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:53,500 all dressed up and ladylike at your first Beverly Hills social. 850 01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,200 Your ma would be so proud. 851 01:03:56,300 --> 01:04:00,100 Thanks, Pa. Miss Laurette said she was right proud too. 852 01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:02,900 You like her, don't you? 853 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:06,700 Well, I like her just fine, and I guess you like her too. 854 01:04:06,800 --> 01:04:08,700 I certainly do. 855 01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:12,900 All I want is for you to be happy, Elly May. 856 01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,600 I just want you to be happy, Pa. 857 01:04:16,700 --> 01:04:19,300 Well, I reckon there's no time like right now. 858 01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:26,900 - Happy birthday, jed. - Happy birthday. 859 01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:36,600 Oh! 860 01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:01,000 Well, I got a feeling you're worth every dime of it too. 861 01:05:01,100 --> 01:05:04,200 Step up here. Let me take a good look at you. 862 01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:07,500 Boy, you're looking good on your birthday. 863 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,400 I think we need a speech, don't you? Speech. 864 01:05:14,600 --> 01:05:18,300 You know, I have more than any one man deserves... 865 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:21,300 yet there is something I'd like for my birthday. 866 01:05:21,400 --> 01:05:26,800 I'd like to ask the one who helped Elly May become a lady to be my wife. 867 01:05:28,800 --> 01:05:32,400 Miss Laurette Voleur. 868 01:05:32,500 --> 01:05:35,400 Oh, I am so surprised. 869 01:05:36,800 --> 01:05:39,300 This is ze happiest day of my life. 870 01:05:42,700 --> 01:05:44,600 Huh? 871 01:05:44,700 --> 01:05:48,200 All right. Congratulations. 872 01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:46,500 - You don't say. - I do say! 873 01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,700 Well, I'll be. Who's he marrying? 874 01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:52,700 Oh, some foozy with a fancy accent. 875 01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:55,000 She seems sneaky to me. I don't trust her. 876 01:06:55,100 --> 01:06:57,300 Oh, Granny, you don't trust anybody. 877 01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:59,700 Never mind about that. 878 01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:03,600 I'm invitin' you to the weddin' and the cousins. 879 01:07:03,700 --> 01:07:08,300 But just from Jed's side, not includin' the Kelloggs nor the Daggs. 880 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:11,500 Now, Granny, you're not gonna get into your tonic... 881 01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:14,100 and disappear like you did when Jed married your daughter, are ya? 882 01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:22,100 Jethrine, your UncleJed's gettin' married. 883 01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,500 I always cry at weddings. 884 01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:30,100 Oh, now, honey. 885 01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:33,000 I do. 886 01:07:36,900 --> 01:07:39,900 Well, you got both kinds of chickens here, Jed. 887 01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,000 - White and the brown. - What you got there, son? 888 01:07:43,100 --> 01:07:46,700 Oh, it's just a standard prenuptial agreement. 889 01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:52,000 Miss Hathaway said for you not to tell anyone that you signed it, not even her. 890 01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:57,300 Well, if Miss Hathaway says so, I don't even have to read this. It must be fine. 891 01:08:01,500 --> 01:08:05,600 They'll be comin' from miles around to get my expert doctorin'... 892 01:08:05,700 --> 01:08:08,500 and I won't turn a one away. 893 01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:12,200 I done took me the "hypocritter" oath to help everybody. 894 01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:19,200 Kinda weak. 895 01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:24,400 Probably good enough for city folk. 896 01:08:24,500 --> 01:08:26,500 Tyler.! 897 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,400 Did you get him to sign the papers? 898 01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:34,600 Oh, yeah. He's a very trusting man. 899 01:08:34,700 --> 01:08:36,800 He thinks everyone's honest. 900 01:08:36,900 --> 01:08:40,400 That's a quality I admire in a man I'm taking advantage of. 901 01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:43,600 Hey, uh, you're not sleeping with him, are you? 902 01:08:43,700 --> 01:08:47,600 Tyler, you know once I move in with a man, I stop having sex with him. 903 01:08:47,700 --> 01:08:49,700 Oh, yeah. That's right. 904 01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:55,300 - Keep your mind on business. Now go. - Hey, wait. 905 01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:59,600 - How about a little good-bye kiss? - All right. 906 01:09:01,400 --> 01:09:03,500 I knowed it! I knowed it! 907 01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:06,600 I done catched you red-handed, you two-timin' hussy! 908 01:09:06,700 --> 01:09:10,200 When I inform jed, the weddin'will be off! 909 01:09:10,300 --> 01:09:12,500 Let's get her. 910 01:09:12,600 --> 01:09:15,400 Uh-oh. Oh. 911 01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:20,800 No! No! No! 912 01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:27,400 Shut up, you old hag.! 913 01:09:27,500 --> 01:09:31,000 We got just the place for you. 914 01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:33,000 Let me down! 915 01:09:38,700 --> 01:09:41,100 I've already input the info into the computer. 916 01:09:41,200 --> 01:09:44,600 Soon as you say "I do"... bing! I press "Enter. " 917 01:09:44,700 --> 01:09:47,300 Boom! The money goes via modem to Switzerland. 918 01:09:47,400 --> 01:09:50,700 Bing, bang, boom. We're rich! 919 01:09:52,700 --> 01:09:55,000 - Oh. - Look at those legs. 920 01:09:55,100 --> 01:09:58,100 I can't wait to get them wrapped around me. 921 01:09:58,200 --> 01:10:00,700 Get her off of me! 922 01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:03,400 - Get those legs off him! - She's got crap on her boots! 923 01:10:07,200 --> 01:10:10,300 She doesn't even think we're her grandchildren. 924 01:10:10,400 --> 01:10:13,100 And you say you fear for your lives? 925 01:10:13,200 --> 01:10:17,300 Yes. I'm afraid the poor old dear tried to shoot us with a shotgun. 926 01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,400 Are there any other indications of dementia? 927 01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:22,300 Last week, we caught her trying to eat a raccoon. 928 01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:25,300 - Really? - She calls us kidnappers. 929 01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,800 They are! They are! The old buzzards are! 930 01:10:27,900 --> 01:10:30,200 - Wait, now. - Grandma, please. 931 01:10:30,300 --> 01:10:33,100 Ow! She bit me again, honey! 932 01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:35,500 Better check her for rabies. 933 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:37,700 - Get two orderlies in here stat! - Poor old dear. 934 01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:44,500 We can't take the heartbreak a minute longer. We need to admit her someplace... 935 01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:48,400 where she can be kept in a straitjacket away from sharp objects and pay phones. 936 01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:51,800 From what you've told me, I'd say that your grandmother... 937 01:10:51,900 --> 01:10:57,600 is a perfect candidate for, uh, electroshock therapy. 938 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:06,100 And nobody... I repeat nobody... is allowed into the Clampett estate without an invitation. 939 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:09,200 Sans invitation, non. 940 01:11:09,300 --> 01:11:12,100 Miss jane, this fella's all mad at me 'cause I opened up... 941 01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:13,800 this box of wedding food... 942 01:11:14,000 --> 01:11:16,400 but there ain't nothin' in there but a bunch of snails. 943 01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:20,500 I think the snails got up in there and et all the food. 944 01:11:21,700 --> 01:11:24,200 No problem. Jethro, we'll just buy some more. 945 01:11:24,300 --> 01:11:27,000 And, Henri, the snails go back to the garden where they belong... 946 01:11:27,100 --> 01:11:29,900 s'il vous pl�it. 947 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,800 To your posts. 948 01:11:31,900 --> 01:11:36,100 Everything's going fine, but I have one small question. 949 01:11:36,200 --> 01:11:40,900 Granny has not been available for her fitting, and the wedding is tomorrow. 950 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:45,200 Hmm. Come to think of it, I ain't seen hide nor hair of Granny since yesterday. 951 01:11:45,300 --> 01:11:47,900 And you're not concerned? 952 01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:52,400 No. She done the same thing when I married Elly May's ma. 953 01:11:52,500 --> 01:11:55,400 Came pourin' in about three days later... 954 01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:58,900 naked as a jaybird and reeking of her medicine. 955 01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:02,100 Hmm. 956 01:12:36,100 --> 01:12:38,400 Play it, George.! 957 01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:52,600 Whoo! 958 01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:23,400 Miss Hathaway, if the immediate family isn't concerned enough... 959 01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:25,800 to file a missing persons report, then there's nothing we can do. 960 01:13:26,000 --> 01:13:28,100 But, Captain Gallo, I suspect foul play. 961 01:13:28,300 --> 01:13:31,200 I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. 962 01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:42,300 But if you're desperate, you might try this guy. 963 01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:47,600 He's expensive, but he's also the best private investigator around. 964 01:13:58,200 --> 01:14:01,100 Oh, this case was pretty easy to crack, Miss Hathaway. 965 01:14:01,200 --> 01:14:05,900 I have met unsavory characters before, but she takes the cake. 966 01:14:07,500 --> 01:14:10,700 Laurette Voleur, a. k. a. Laura Jackson. 967 01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:13,600 A.k. a. Lili Lebecque. 968 01:14:13,700 --> 01:14:17,700 Married 12 times to any guy with a little extra money to throw around. 969 01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:19,900 I should've known. 970 01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:24,900 Voleur. French for "thief. " Now what about Granny? 971 01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:29,900 The old lady is being forcibly held at the Los Viejos Retirement Home... 972 01:14:30,000 --> 01:14:33,900 a disreputable establishment, often cited for patient abuse. 973 01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,900 Be tough to break her out. 974 01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:40,900 What a calamity, and the wedding is just hours away. 975 01:14:44,600 --> 01:14:49,300 Reverend, do you think Cousin Bill's gonna be too busy to make it to the weddin'? 976 01:14:56,100 --> 01:14:58,600 Hillary, where did I put that invitation? 977 01:15:01,700 --> 01:15:04,000 Flowers, come here. Quick. 978 01:15:04,100 --> 01:15:08,100 They need tent stakes in the backyard right now. Let's go. 979 01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:18,000 Hello. Clampett residence. Mr. Drysdale? 980 01:15:18,100 --> 01:15:21,800 - I have an urgent call for Mr. Drysdale. - I'll take that. 981 01:15:21,900 --> 01:15:25,300 He works for me. 982 01:15:25,400 --> 01:15:28,400 - Woody Tyler. Can I help you? - Tyler, what are you doing there? 983 01:15:28,500 --> 01:15:31,100 Um, I just dropped by to see if I could be of help. 984 01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:34,000 Tell Mr. Drysdale to stop the wedding. 985 01:15:34,100 --> 01:15:38,800 - Okay. - Laurette is a phony who is after Mr. Clampett's money. 986 01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,300 Well, that's not good. 987 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:45,000 - Do it, Tyler, or your job is toast. - I got it. 988 01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:52,000 - She's getting fat, Mom. - Where is Hathaway? 989 01:15:52,100 --> 01:15:53,900 She was supposed to check in with me hours ago. 990 01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:57,000 - Well, I don't know, dear. - Mr. Drysdale. 991 01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:59,800 - What do you want, Tyler? - Miss Hathaway called. 992 01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,400 She said something had come up and to go ahead and start the wedding without her. 993 01:16:02,500 --> 01:16:05,100 - Well, what could have come up? - I wish I knew. 994 01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:07,800 My, what a lovely dog. 995 01:16:07,900 --> 01:16:10,100 Oh, thank you. 996 01:16:10,200 --> 01:16:12,700 Tyler, make yourself useful. Go count the olives. 997 01:16:12,800 --> 01:16:14,700 Oh, yeah. Right away. 998 01:16:14,800 --> 01:16:17,400 Oh, I hate that little worm. 999 01:16:17,500 --> 01:16:21,200 What could possibly be more important than this to Miss Hathaway? 1000 01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:37,900 - Look at that. New nurse. - Yeah. 1001 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:43,600 - Howdy, Mama! - My baby! Oh! Why! 1002 01:16:43,700 --> 01:16:46,600 My goodness, Beverly Hills has made you so sophisticated. 1003 01:16:46,700 --> 01:16:49,600 Doesn't your twin brother look handsome? 1004 01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:51,800 - Hi, jethro. - Give him a kiss, Jethrine. 1005 01:16:52,000 --> 01:16:55,600 Howdy, Jethro. 1006 01:17:05,500 --> 01:17:08,000 Oh, excuse me. 1007 01:17:11,800 --> 01:17:14,200 - I reckon. - Yep. 1008 01:17:15,700 --> 01:17:17,400 Young man... 1009 01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:21,100 I am here to see Daisy Mae Moses. 1010 01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:23,700 Ah, then you must be here for the rabies test. 1011 01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:27,400 Yes. Rabies test. Exactly right. 1012 01:17:27,500 --> 01:17:29,600 Then you want Room 525. 1013 01:17:31,800 --> 01:17:33,900 Oh, nurse. 1014 01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:36,300 Better be careful. She's a wild one. 1015 01:17:36,400 --> 01:17:39,300 We had to give her electroshock therapy. 1016 01:17:39,400 --> 01:17:42,700 Thank you. 1017 01:17:53,900 --> 01:17:57,200 - Excuse me. - No problem. 1018 01:18:00,300 --> 01:18:04,100 My God. Oh, Granny. 1019 01:18:06,800 --> 01:18:10,600 Your elixir. 1020 01:18:13,100 --> 01:18:16,000 I will take you out of here immediately. 1021 01:18:16,100 --> 01:18:18,000 Your hair is just a bit disheveled. 1022 01:18:18,100 --> 01:18:21,600 Miss Jane? Is that you? 1023 01:18:21,700 --> 01:18:24,700 - 'Tis I. - Oh! 1024 01:18:27,300 --> 01:18:32,200 - Granny says she don't trust Miss Laurette. - Oh. 1025 01:18:32,300 --> 01:18:36,800 Take off that silly hat. 1026 01:18:46,700 --> 01:18:49,800 I heard she's so skinny, you couldn't hit her with a handful of corn. 1027 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:59,800 Look where they're parking the cars. My God, how tacky. 1028 01:19:01,200 --> 01:19:03,700 This place is turning into a zoo. 1029 01:19:03,800 --> 01:19:07,900 I think she's tryin' to take him for all he's got. 1030 01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:09,600 Hmm. 1031 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,700 Hi there, handsome. 1032 01:19:21,800 --> 01:19:25,000 - You mind if I sit in this chair? - This chair? 1033 01:19:25,100 --> 01:19:27,700 - I was kind of saving... - Thank you. 1034 01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:32,300 Lovely wedding, isn't it? 1035 01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,000 Go. 1036 01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:44,000 Oh. We've got to get back. 1037 01:19:44,100 --> 01:19:46,600 I called. I told them to stop the wedding... 1038 01:19:46,700 --> 01:19:48,500 but that Tyler is so incompetent. 1039 01:19:48,600 --> 01:19:52,200 Tyler? Him and Laurette's the ones that stuck me in this hellhole! 1040 01:19:52,300 --> 01:19:55,700 So, stabbed in the back by one of our own. 1041 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:58,300 And she ain't no foreigner. 1042 01:19:58,400 --> 01:20:00,700 There they are. Stop them. 1043 01:20:26,400 --> 01:20:28,800 Jethro, hold up. 1044 01:20:53,100 --> 01:20:55,400 - Come on. Come on. - Oh, there she is. 1045 01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:58,700 - Come on. Come on. Come on. - Oh, she looks beautiful. 1046 01:21:00,500 --> 01:21:04,900 Oh, I've got the vapors. 1047 01:21:24,300 --> 01:21:26,700 My makeup. 1048 01:21:26,800 --> 01:21:29,800 Oh. 1049 01:21:29,900 --> 01:21:34,000 "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in case of an emergency. 1050 01:21:34,100 --> 01:21:37,600 "Oxygen masks will fall from the overhead compartment. 1051 01:21:37,700 --> 01:21:41,200 "Your seat cushion can be used as a floatin'device. 1052 01:21:41,300 --> 01:21:43,400 - Thus sayeth the Lord. " - Excuse me, Reverend. 1053 01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:46,600 But I believe you're readin' the airplane safety instructions. 1054 01:21:46,700 --> 01:21:49,800 May we skip this part? 1055 01:21:49,900 --> 01:21:53,500 Hathaway had better have a good excuse for not being here. 1056 01:21:54,800 --> 01:21:57,400 Quick, Granny, hurry.! 1057 01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,600 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Can I see your invitations, please? 1058 01:22:01,700 --> 01:22:05,400 I'll handle this, Granny. Young man, have you any idea with whom you're speaking? 1059 01:22:05,500 --> 01:22:08,900 I'd say one crazy lady and another one with a bad wig. 1060 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:11,600 Every strand of this here hair is mine! 1061 01:22:11,700 --> 01:22:13,700 - Ow! - Oh... Oh, Granny, no, no, no! 1062 01:22:13,800 --> 01:22:16,400 No, Granny, no! No, Granny, no! We'll find another way. 1063 01:22:16,500 --> 01:22:20,500 "We are gathered here to unite these two in holy matrimony. " 1064 01:22:23,900 --> 01:22:26,200 - Can we hurry things up, please? - Yes, ma'am. 1065 01:22:27,900 --> 01:22:31,100 Come on. Come on, baby. 1066 01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:34,200 "If any one of y'all has one good reason these two shouldn't be hitched... " 1067 01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:36,700 and it darn tootin' better be a good reason... 1068 01:22:36,800 --> 01:22:40,100 "then speak now or forever hold your peace. " 1069 01:22:42,300 --> 01:22:45,800 - All right, then. "I now pronounce you... " - Please. Please. Please. 1070 01:22:45,900 --> 01:22:48,000 "man and... " 1071 01:22:48,100 --> 01:22:49,700 What in tarnation is that? 1072 01:22:53,500 --> 01:22:57,500 Charge! 1073 01:23:31,700 --> 01:23:34,300 Come on, Granny! 1074 01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,800 It is I, Jane Hathaway. 1075 01:23:36,900 --> 01:23:39,200 Hathaway, have you lost your mind? 1076 01:23:39,300 --> 01:23:43,100 She's an impostor. She's marrying Mr. Clampett just to steal his money. 1077 01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:47,400 - That sidewinder Tyler helped her! - I'm ruined! 1078 01:23:47,500 --> 01:23:49,300 Milburn! Milburn! 1079 01:23:51,900 --> 01:23:54,800 Tyler. Let's set up the computer and push the button. 1080 01:23:54,900 --> 01:23:57,100 If I can't have their money, nobody should. 1081 01:23:57,300 --> 01:23:59,900 Quick! 1082 01:24:00,000 --> 01:24:01,500 Okay. 1083 01:24:01,600 --> 01:24:04,900 We'll send their billion bucks bouncin'around so many banks... 1084 01:24:05,000 --> 01:24:07,900 - they'll never find it. - It's all set. 1085 01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:11,800 All we got to do is push that button. 1086 01:24:11,900 --> 01:24:14,400 You rustic, nose-picking, inbred yokels! 1087 01:24:14,500 --> 01:24:18,800 - You're all about to be poor again. - Think again. 1088 01:24:32,900 --> 01:24:35,900 No, you don't, you schemin'skunk.! 1089 01:24:36,000 --> 01:24:38,000 Wait'll I get my hands on you! 1090 01:24:38,100 --> 01:24:41,500 Oh, Pa, you must be so disappointed. 1091 01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:43,700 A little. 1092 01:24:43,800 --> 01:24:46,400 But, Elly May, I was mainly marryin' Miss Laurette... 1093 01:24:46,500 --> 01:24:49,100 'cause I thought you wanted her for your new ma. 1094 01:24:51,700 --> 01:24:54,500 - I'm so sorry, Pa. - Don't be sorry. 1095 01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:56,800 I love you just the way you are. 1096 01:24:56,900 --> 01:24:59,600 I reckon I oughta raise you up to be who you want to be. 1097 01:24:59,700 --> 01:25:04,000 Well, I don't need a new ma, not as long as I got you and Granny. 1098 01:25:05,900 --> 01:25:09,500 Hot dog, Miss Jane! You sure are a good shot. 1099 01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:11,700 Well, thank you, Jethro. 1100 01:25:11,900 --> 01:25:12,800 - Whoo! - Got ya! 1101 01:25:13,000 --> 01:25:16,100 Well, folks, I guess you can say... 1102 01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:18,900 things didn't turn out quite the way we planned. 1103 01:25:19,000 --> 01:25:23,400 So, since there ain't gonna be no hitchin'... 1104 01:25:23,500 --> 01:25:25,800 and we're all here anyway... 1105 01:25:27,800 --> 01:25:32,400 I say we have one hellacious shindig. 1106 01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:34,700 Yeah.! 1107 01:25:41,000 --> 01:25:45,100 - Let go of me.! - Here, boys. She's all yours! 1108 01:25:52,400 --> 01:25:54,300 Let go of my hand! 1109 01:26:10,300 --> 01:26:13,200 - Hey! Nobody treats my pa that way! - Shut up! 1110 01:26:18,800 --> 01:26:21,900 How's that for ladylike, you old money-grubber? 1111 01:26:27,700 --> 01:26:30,300 Come on, city boy, let's dance. 1112 01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:32,800 All right, stand back! 1113 01:26:38,100 --> 01:26:40,300 You're under arrest for kidnapping... 1114 01:26:40,400 --> 01:26:42,300 attempted embezzlement and fraud. 1115 01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:45,700 Oh, right.! It was all Tyler's idea. 1116 01:26:52,400 --> 01:26:55,300 I admit it freely. It was all her idea. 1117 01:26:55,400 --> 01:27:00,100 I always fall in love with the wrong kind of man. 1118 01:27:00,200 --> 01:27:02,900 - Clean up that cake. - Don't step on the train. 1119 01:27:03,000 --> 01:27:07,000 I'll wait for you, honey. 1120 01:27:10,400 --> 01:27:14,000 Well, where was she? She... Oh.! 1121 01:27:14,100 --> 01:27:17,900 - Oh, well... - Whee doggie! 1122 01:27:32,500 --> 01:27:35,300 Whoo.! Yeah.! That's good. 1123 01:27:48,100 --> 01:27:50,700 Thank you. 1124 01:27:50,800 --> 01:27:54,700 That's just about right. Oops! 1125 01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,800 It's a shame they had to file for bankruptcy. 1126 01:27:57,900 --> 01:28:00,600 I just hope my call to the I.R.S. didn't have... 1127 01:28:00,700 --> 01:28:03,400 - Oh, I shouldn't open it. Sorry. - No problem. We'll do it again. 1128 01:28:03,500 --> 01:28:05,000 But I got there... 1129 01:28:05,100 --> 01:28:07,900 That old lady is, uh... 1130 01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:10,700 That old lady is... I'm sorry. 1131 01:28:10,800 --> 01:28:13,200 - That's okay. - She's gettin' pretty old by now, I'll tell ya. 1132 01:28:13,300 --> 01:28:15,300 Still rolling. 1133 01:28:17,000 --> 01:28:20,500 - Okay. Give me a big smile. - I can't get any bigger. 1134 01:28:25,300 --> 01:28:27,600 So, uh, what happened? 1135 01:28:27,700 --> 01:28:31,200 Actually, he slapped me. 1136 01:28:37,800 --> 01:28:40,900 Why don't you come up here? Let me take a good look at you. 1137 01:28:42,800 --> 01:28:46,000 Jim. Jim? They're gettin'worried about you. 1138 01:28:50,600 --> 01:28:54,100 - Not even a bridesmaid. - I gotta do this again. 1139 01:29:04,300 --> 01:29:06,400 Action.! 1140 01:29:09,800 --> 01:29:12,000 We've got... No, we've got to get back. 1141 01:29:12,100 --> 01:29:14,700 I called, I told them to postpone the... 1142 01:29:14,800 --> 01:29:16,700 - I lost my purse. - It's right here. 1143 01:29:16,800 --> 01:29:20,100 - How did you get it? - I don't know. 1144 01:29:20,200 --> 01:29:23,600 Jethro? Come on down here. 1145 01:29:23,700 --> 01:29:25,900 Likely as not, there's another family lives up here... 1146 01:29:26,000 --> 01:29:27,800 there. 92352