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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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_
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♪ Okily-dokily, okily-dokily ♪
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♪ Come meet Ned Flanders ♪
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♪ And his two boys Rod and Todd ♪
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♪ He's friends with God
and has a ripped bod ♪
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♪ Diddly ♪
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♪ Doodily, diddly ♪
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♪ Doodily ♪
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- _
- ♪ Diddly... ♪
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♪ Doodily ♪
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♪ Diddly, doodily, diddly... ♪
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No couch, boys. I gave it to the poor.
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- Yay!
- Yay!
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- _
- ♪ A-diddly-doodily ♪
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♪ Diddly-doodily. ♪
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Neddy? Neddy.
18
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Oh, Maude, you've come back.
19
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Completely clothed and untouchable.
20
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This is the sexiest dream I've ever had.
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Wait, Maudie.
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Just one little kiss.
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(HOWLS)
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All tongue, no lips.
25
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Just like Maude.
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(CRYING)
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Daddy, why are you crying?
28
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,119
Oh, just watering the old lip lawn.
29
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I had a dream about your mom.
30
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Don't you ever dream about her?
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Faster, Mommy, faster.
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Aah!
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Ow!
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(SCREAMS)
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What's wrong, Todd?
36
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I can never unsee that.
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(WHIMPERS)
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It's okay, son. Just a bad dream.
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Want some lukewarm water?
40
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,982
Daddy, I can't remember
what Mommy looks like.
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I think I might have a video
or two of your mother.
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00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:51,403
ROD: What's wrong?
43
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(SCREAMS)
44
00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:57,492
I'm doing Mommy's old skin routine.
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Now, that's the healthy way to grieve.
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(TODD GROANS)
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_
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(HUMMING "DECK THE HALLS")
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(GIGGLES) I'm scared.
50
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Well, I have faith in you.
51
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Who are you people,
52
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and what have you done with my family?
53
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- Answer me!
- (CHUCKLES)
54
00:02:19,050 --> 00:02:22,179
Oh, Dad, every time we make
you shovel the driveway,
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you wind up someplace crazy.
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Won't you join us for dinner?
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(CHUCKLES): He sure will.
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I'll pick him up tomorrow.
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(CRYING): Mommy was so nice.
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And she still is, Roddily Doddily.
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How do you know?
Have you heard from her?
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Oh, uh, n-no, sir.
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00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,540
But, uh, faith is believing
in something without proof.
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00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:45,859
Uh, you can't see my
lip below my mustache,
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- but you know it's there.
- Can I see it?
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No.
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00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:51,470
My math teacher said
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believing in something
without proof is crazy.
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00:02:54,170 --> 00:02:56,779
You think the coat of
many colors was crazy?
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00:02:56,780 --> 00:02:59,049
Noah's ark and the Holy Ghost, crazy?
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Don't tell me you're doubting
Balaam's talking ass.
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00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:08,179
Mommy, if you still remember
me, give me a sign.
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00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,819
This is Homer Simpson auditioning
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00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,479
for the air guitar
championship of the world.
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00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:14,779
I'm taking you down, Bjorn Turoque.
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(IMITATING GUITAR PLAYING)
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♪ Praise God from whom ♪
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♪ All blessings flow ♪
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♪ Praise God ♪
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♪ It's almost time to go ♪
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♪ This boring sermon ♪
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♪ Must end soon ♪
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♪ Arena football's ♪
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♪ On at noon. ♪
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- _
- HOMER: Ooh!
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(CROWD CHEERING)
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Whoo-hoo!
88
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:55,149
And for that simple reason, we are right
89
00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:59,059
and Episcopalians are
wrong, wrong, wrong.
90
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:00,239
Now I'd like to invite
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00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,569
our littlest parishioners to the front.
92
00:04:02,570 --> 00:04:05,578
Gertie, a little
traveling music, please?
93
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,490
(SLOW HYMN PLAYING)
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00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:13,559
Soon as we can, we're
replacing her with Spotify.
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00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,330
I'm taking middle C.
96
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,969
So, tell me, young Christians,
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00:04:18,970 --> 00:04:21,319
if you could speak to Baby Jesus,
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00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:22,609
what would you say?
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00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,509
I'd say thank you for being born,
100
00:04:24,510 --> 00:04:26,390
'cause that gave us Christmas.
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ALL: Aw!
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Mmm, I'm killing it.
103
00:04:29,430 --> 00:04:31,229
Ralph, what would you say?
104
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I'd say, "Baby Jesus,
105
00:04:33,340 --> 00:04:35,983
thank you for dying for our shins."
106
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,402
(CONGREGATION CHUCKLES)
107
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,323
And you, Todd? What would you say?
108
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,219
(HOARSELY): I lost my voice from crying.
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Oh, come on, young man.
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You're my closer.
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("CHARGE" PLAYING)
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What would you say to Jesus?
113
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I'd say...
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00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,540
thanks for nothing!
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00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:04,899
My mommy's dead and
she's never coming back,
116
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,014
and I don't believe in God anymore.
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(FEEDBACK SCREECHES)
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(CONGREGATION GASPS)
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No. No! (WHIMPERS)
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00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,239
Thank God these collection
baskets were empty.
121
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You're welcome.
122
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♪ A mighty problem is our Todd ♪
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♪ His faith in God ♪
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♪ Is failing ♪
125
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♪ Homer accidentally killed his mom ♪
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♪ He knocked her off a railing. ♪
127
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:54,179
Now, son, let me put this gently.
128
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We're all going to hell!
129
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You opened a doorway to
disbelief in God's own house!
130
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,699
Why does God need so many houses?
131
00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:03,439
Couldn't some go to poor people?
132
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,620
You just stop right there, boy.
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You do not question
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00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,439
God's real estate holdings
and tax-free status.
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00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,330
(EXHALES) I have to
let off a little steam.
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Shucks! Shucks! Shucks!
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00:06:17,740 --> 00:06:19,580
- _
- (GRUNTS)
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00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,090
That's it. Young man, I am
FaceTiming the reverend.
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(CHUCKLES): Reverend,
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I know you hate it when I bother you.
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(THEME FROM SWAN LAKE PLAYING)
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- Aah!
- (CRYING)
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00:06:30,940 --> 00:06:32,339
It's okay. It's okay.
144
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:34,685
I'm at my daughter's ballet recital.
145
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,689
Oh, is she good?
146
00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:38,439
Seriously, are any of them good?
147
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,519
Reverend, like the pharaoh's
army in the Red Sea,
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I'm in over my head.
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00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:43,890
My heathen son needs you right now.
150
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:48,279
Oh, sorry, got to go.
151
00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:50,139
I have to read the last rites...
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00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,769
for the art of ballet.
153
00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:54,539
Lord, please punish my boy thoroughly
154
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so he may once again believe
in thine divine mercy.
155
00:06:57,794 --> 00:07:01,479
- Daddy, I have a problem.
- Oh, you, too?
156
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,049
I accidentally watched
a 30 Rock by mistake.
157
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,419
Oh! Oh, my good, good boy.
158
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,679
- Mmm.
- So it's okay to watch?
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00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,516
Just Kenneth. Just Kenneth. Mmm.
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00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,679
(GROANS)
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Good morning, Rod. Todd. God.
162
00:07:18,950 --> 00:07:20,279
- Good morning.
- Morning.
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Let us, uh, stiffly resume
our nice, regular routine.
164
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,239
Dear Lord, we thank
you for this breakfast,
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00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,689
each generic brand Circle-O a
symbol of God's unending love.
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00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:30,560
- Amen.
- Amen.
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00:07:30,570 --> 00:07:31,868
Todd?
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Son? Can I just get an amen?
169
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A prayer without an amen
170
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is like a Tootsie Pop without a center.
171
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:42,159
Oh, I apologize for
thinking the word "tootsie."
172
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But there must be a way
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to scare religion back into my son.
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Isn't there some hell on earth
I could briefly place him in?
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00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,719
HOMER: Let me in, boy!
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00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,303
The school bus will be here any minute!
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00:07:52,304 --> 00:07:55,640
(LAUGHS) To find your clothes,
just solve this series of clues:
178
00:07:55,650 --> 00:07:57,810
what has bark but no bite?
179
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,179
Um, the dog?
180
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:00,935
(IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong. A tree.
181
00:08:00,936 --> 00:08:03,779
- (GROANS)
- Here's another. If a plane crashes
182
00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,979
on the border of North and South Dakota,
183
00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,695
where do you bury the survivors?
184
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:08,863
Uh, Minnesota.
185
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,479
(IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong.
186
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,201
You don't bury the survivors.
They're survivors!
187
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,320
I don't understand, but I'll bury you.
188
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:17,379
Tell you what. I'll give
you your pants back
189
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:19,949
- if you can answer this last one.
- Uh-huh.
190
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:22,109
- What has two hairs on top...
- Right.
191
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,628
- ... is somebody's dad...
- Somebody's dad, yes.
192
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,381
... and starting right now
he's getting quite mad?
193
00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:30,385
I don't know, but just
give me my pants, boy!
194
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,636
(KIDS LAUGHING)
195
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,055
(BART LAUGHS)
196
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,549
Can we take pictures?
197
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,559
Wait, you see that, too?
198
00:08:40,470 --> 00:08:41,779
FLANDERS: That Simpson house
199
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:43,400
will put the fear of God in him.
200
00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,650
Give me your pants.
201
00:08:46,810 --> 00:08:49,179
Todd Flanders, I cast thee out.
202
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,749
♪ His little mind ♪
203
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:54,299
♪ Is filled with doubt ♪
204
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:59,409
♪ So now we have to cast him out ♪
205
00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:04,085
♪ You'll learn the Lord is sweet ♪
206
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:09,800
♪ On his journey of 40 feet. ♪
207
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,540
Daddy, do you love me more now?
208
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:20,929
(CHUCKLES) Just by asking,
209
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:22,930
you have committed the sin of pride.
210
00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:25,839
Yes, Ned, yes.
211
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:27,567
We'll keep him here till tomorrow.
212
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,460
Yes, I'll read him a good bedtime story.
213
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,339
Right, right. No wizards.
214
00:09:32,340 --> 00:09:34,799
No pagans. No wild things.
215
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,989
How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar?
216
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,661
No, that celebrates gluttony.
217
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:40,329
Clifford the Big Red Dog?
218
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,791
(SCOFFS) Clifford the
satanic abomination.
219
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:43,874
Everyone Poops?
220
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,829
Not me.
221
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:47,959
Todd. Psst! Todd.
222
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:50,620
I know what it's like to leave
the faith of your family.
223
00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:52,169
Thank you so much, Lisa.
224
00:09:52,170 --> 00:09:54,179
At last, someone gets it.
225
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:55,499
(NEW AGE MUSIC PLAYING)
226
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,549
But have I got a god for you.
227
00:09:57,550 --> 00:10:00,119
Consider the Buddha.
He brings peace from within.
228
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,079
He avoids the pitfalls of ego,
229
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,159
he loves yoga and Yoda,
230
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:05,890
and he's lost weight.
231
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,619
What happens when you die?
232
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,640
You get reincarnated as a human
233
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:11,640
or an animal or a ghost.
234
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:15,739
Pass. Buddha's no god,
and neither is God.
235
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,399
Don't worry, I'll get him.
236
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,828
By the way, what did you
reincarnate David Bowie as?
237
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,997
Help me, love. It's Bowie.
238
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:26,329
(GASPS) I've been meditating too much.
239
00:10:26,330 --> 00:10:28,679
Where's Todd?
240
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:29,689
It was horrible.
241
00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:31,659
I woke up, and he'd cleaned my room.
242
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:33,466
What kind of psycho does that?
243
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,079
Hi, Grampa Simpson.
244
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:36,259
(EXCLAIMING)
245
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,519
You're talking to me directly?
246
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,799
Even my Alexa won't do that.
247
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:46,312
ELDERLY FEMALE VOICE: Being
with him has made me so tired.
248
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,639
HOMER: Hey, Marge,
249
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:48,739
you may have noticed
250
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:51,359
I took a shower earlier this week.
251
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,769
(MAKES KISSING SOUNDS)
252
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,699
I can't. I can't.
253
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,320
Not with Todd in the house.
254
00:10:56,330 --> 00:10:58,799
Oh, we've had kids in
the house for ten years.
255
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,529
Not that one. He's used to silence.
256
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,959
- He'll hear us.
- No, he won't.
257
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:05,299
TODD: Yes, I will!
258
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,834
Oof! Got to get rid of that kid.
259
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,119
Can it be?
260
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,420
Oh, my goodness!
261
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,249
The face of our Lord and Savior
262
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:14,979
in a humble piece of toast?
263
00:11:14,980 --> 00:11:17,343
Clearly, no human could have made this.
264
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,669
Huh?
265
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:20,039
And the Lord said,
266
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,859
"Take this and eat, for I
am the toast of the town."
267
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:25,619
- You drew that on.
- No, no.
268
00:11:25,620 --> 00:11:27,853
God drew it on. Look, he signed it.
269
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,772
"Jebus." See?
270
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,691
Why would God make toast
that looked like Jesus?
271
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,579
'Cause parents are always
showing off pictures
272
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:37,189
- of their kids?
- (MUNCHING)
273
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:39,379
(CRYING): So much innocent bread died
274
00:11:39,380 --> 00:11:40,879
for my sins.
275
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,979
(SOBBING)
276
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:44,703
So innocent.
277
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,599
♪ What is good ♪
278
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,624
♪ And what is sin ♪
279
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:54,459
♪ Bart wants to get rid of him. ♪
280
00:11:54,460 --> 00:11:55,949
Yo, this is Todd.
281
00:11:55,950 --> 00:11:58,509
I have to share my room until
he believes in God again.
282
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:01,399
You don't believe in God?
Well, that's crazy.
283
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:04,129
Who else but an all-loving,
omnipotent being
284
00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:07,379
could create beautiful
wedgies and purple nurples?
285
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,539
Not so fast.
286
00:12:08,540 --> 00:12:10,459
What if I'm the only
being in the universe,
287
00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,499
and you're all my mental projections?
288
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,191
Project this!
289
00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:17,109
I must have wanted this to happen!
290
00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:19,299
So now that you see
how bad kids turn out,
291
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:20,782
you want to go home, right?
292
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,359
Stop using us as examples!
293
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,419
I believe your friends
294
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,149
- are all going to Hell.
- Whoa!
295
00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:27,162
- Yeah!
- Cool!
296
00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:28,497
- (HOMER GIGGLING)
- (MARGE MOANING)
297
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,333
(HOMER AND MARGE MOANING)
298
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,829
TODD: I hear you!
299
00:12:34,830 --> 00:12:36,999
What doesn't that little twerp hear?
300
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,279
TODD: I don't know, but I heard that.
301
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,759
(DRYER RATTLING)
302
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,619
(QUIETLY): Okay. He can't hear us now.
303
00:12:43,620 --> 00:12:44,729
TODD: Yes, I can.
304
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,480
You're unbuttoning your
shirt, Mr. Simpson.
305
00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:50,979
- _
- What does that paper say?
306
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,559
LISA: Oh. Hi, Todd.
307
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,179
Still seeking enlightenment?
308
00:12:57,180 --> 00:12:58,729
I told you, not now.
309
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,980
Maybe I'll reconsider
your stupid beliefs
310
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,519
when I come back as a worm.
311
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,159
In Buddhism, that's halfway to "yes"!
312
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,325
Look, Todd, you don't have to believe.
313
00:13:07,326 --> 00:13:10,959
In church, just smile and nod,
but be sleeping on the inside.
314
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,414
That works at work, too.
315
00:13:12,415 --> 00:13:14,160
But I really don't believe.
316
00:13:14,170 --> 00:13:17,709
I'm sad because my mommy's
gone and never coming back.
317
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,257
You know how that feels?
318
00:13:19,258 --> 00:13:20,640
Oh, do I.
319
00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:22,427
Oh, no, don't relive it. Don't!
320
00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,269
You don't come home for dinner
321
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:26,379
till 10:00 at night.
322
00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:28,279
You never cook anything worth eating.
323
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,267
Well, who wants to cook for a failure?
324
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,399
Good God, woman, why did you marry me?
325
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,079
To piss off my mother, and it worked!
326
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,499
Tell the kid I love him,
but I'm as bad at goodbyes
327
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,779
- as I am at picking husbands.
- (GRAMPA GROANING)
328
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,939
(CRYING): My mom is gone.
329
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,419
And so is my ice cream.
330
00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:50,280
And so is my hair!
331
00:13:51,623 --> 00:13:55,043
Moe, I got to get drunk. And fast.
332
00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,339
FLANDERS: I'll take one, too.
333
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,382
BOTH: What the... ?!
334
00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,467
I'm losing everything.
Just give me a drink!
335
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:05,839
I'm sorry, Flanders.
I can't pour you a drink.
336
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,598
You're too good. It's just,
it's not something I can do.
337
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:10,320
Please. I'm begging you.
338
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,929
Yeah, that's $24.
339
00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:17,719
♪ Ned Flanders is drinking today ♪
340
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:21,689
♪ Allelujah ♪
341
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:26,819
♪ His son Todd has gone astray ♪
342
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:31,499
♪ Allelujah ♪
343
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:35,374
♪ Raise your mug and drink it down ♪
344
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:40,419
♪ Allelujah ♪
345
00:14:40,420 --> 00:14:43,019
BARITONE SINGER: ♪ In the worst bar ♪
346
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:45,160
♪ In this town ♪
347
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:50,120
♪ Allelujah. ♪
348
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:53,139
(SLURRING): You know,
Homer, I always thought
349
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:54,799
you proved the existence of God.
350
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:57,644
I mean, you fall off cliffs,
and you're fit as a fiddle.
351
00:14:57,645 --> 00:14:58,999
Well, ain't that a diddle!
352
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,739
(LAUGHS)
353
00:15:00,740 --> 00:15:02,379
- Diddly, diddly.
- (LAUGHS)
354
00:15:02,380 --> 00:15:04,279
- Diddle, diddle, diddle, diddle.
- (LAUGHS): Diddly, diddly.
355
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,569
Whoa!
356
00:15:05,570 --> 00:15:08,479
(BOTH LAUGHING)
357
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,060
So this is what it's like
358
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,799
to look down on someone.
359
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,069
(BELCHES)
360
00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:14,799
You know what, Ned? There may...
361
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,460
there may not be a heaven,
362
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:19,319
but getting drunk with you ain't hell.
363
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,719
(BOTH LAUGH)
364
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,380
(MUMBLES): Oh, you're great.
365
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,429
This is the beginning of a beautiful...
366
00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:27,759
(GRUNTING)
367
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,849
You killed them!
368
00:15:29,850 --> 00:15:31,779
This is the worst Uber ride ever!
369
00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,390
You're getting four stars.
370
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:40,470
No... !
371
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,039
_
372
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:47,780
♪ ♪
373
00:15:49,660 --> 00:15:51,030
_
374
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:52,452
_
375
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,679
Welcome to Heaven.
376
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,479
Oh, Lord. It's just as
beautiful as I pictured it.
377
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,469
This is your version, Ned.
378
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,424
Homer gets his, too.
379
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,499
So, not like I'm feeling I
put in way too much work,
380
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,199
but Homer got in, too?
381
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,239
Well, a couple of years
ago, sloth became a virtue.
382
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,339
I don't really understand it.
383
00:16:18,340 --> 00:16:20,109
You'd have to talk to my kid.
384
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:22,519
He's 33 and still lives at home.
385
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,769
I've been through some stuff, man.
386
00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:26,985
(GASPS) Abe Lincoln!
387
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,309
Did you know the picture
388
00:16:28,310 --> 00:16:31,879
about my life is
Spielberg's biggest movie?
389
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:35,479
No! What about Jaws and E.T.,
and all the Jurassic... ?
390
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,739
Well, how did I do in the awards?
391
00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:40,079
- You were beaten by Argo.- Argo?!
392
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:44,079
That was the worst experience
I ever had in a theater.
393
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,921
You have other people to see.
394
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,249
- Wear these passes.
- Visitors?
395
00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:49,419
Hmm, that's odd.
396
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:51,969
It must mean that your
bodies aren't dead yet.
397
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,299
♪ We need you now ♪
398
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:58,260
♪ O God on high ♪
399
00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:04,849
♪ So stupid Flanders
and Homer don't die. ♪
400
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:08,059
Ned Flanders, I swear to you
I will use every ounce of skill
401
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,487
in my body to bring you back to life.
402
00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:12,519
(SNIFFLES) What about Homer?
403
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,829
Mm, qué será, será.
404
00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:15,117
(LAUGHS)
405
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:17,787
(SOBBING)
406
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,918
(SOBBING)
407
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:27,809
Oh, my. They're holding a vigil.
408
00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,959
Look how many, many lives Dad touched.
409
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,519
That's Flanders' vigil.
410
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,879
Dad's is over there.
411
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,560
Vigils are a surprisingly
large part of this job.
412
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,679
Oh, yeah! So sad!
413
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,719
Dad's an acquired taste, Lis,
414
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,059
like Hawaiian pizza.
415
00:17:43,060 --> 00:17:46,259
Dad never judged a pizza
by where it came from.
416
00:17:46,260 --> 00:17:49,189
(CRIES) He just ate it.
417
00:17:49,190 --> 00:17:51,239
BART: God, this is just you and me,
418
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,519
so I'm gonna tell you a secret.
419
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,179
I love my dad, so please don't take him.
420
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:56,479
(LISA CRIES)
421
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,899
Bart, what are you praying for?
422
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,480
New bike.
423
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:04,460
Are you sure you don't
want to pray for your dad?
424
00:18:04,470 --> 00:18:05,909
I can't pray.
425
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,239
I don't think anyone's
listening anymore.
426
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,259
Oh, sweetie, prayer doesn't
have to be to God.
427
00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:13,939
It can also just be an
honest conversation
428
00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:15,499
we have with ourselves.
429
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,888
Just do what your heart tells you.
430
00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:21,719
Oh, I'm not really
sure what's happening,
431
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:25,019
but I'm really sad, and I need help.
432
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:29,399
♪ Rejoice, rejoice ♪
433
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,329
♪ O Springfield town ♪
434
00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:36,239
♪ 'Cause what goes up ♪
435
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,619
♪ Must come down. ♪
436
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,070
(BUZZING)
437
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,080
(SHIP HORN BLOWS)
438
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:46,379
(CHEERING)
439
00:18:46,380 --> 00:18:48,100
I'm winning every bet!
440
00:18:48,110 --> 00:18:50,779
And there's no stupid Fox halftime show.
441
00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,579
Could Heaven be any better?
442
00:18:52,580 --> 00:18:54,675
(MUNCHING)
443
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:57,959
I agree. This is everything
I could possibly dream of.
444
00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,629
(PLAYS PRETTY CHORD)
445
00:18:59,630 --> 00:19:00,722
(GASPS)
446
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:03,141
Todd is praying. He's praying for me.
447
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,519
(LAUGHS) And it's working!
448
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,399
I'm returning to my family!
449
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,690
Bye, Homer.
450
00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,119
- Homer?
- Mom?
451
00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,519
I never got a chance to say goodbye,
452
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,979
but now I can.
453
00:19:17,980 --> 00:19:20,099
Remember, I'm not a hugger.
454
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:21,200
Oh, right. Sorry.
455
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:23,699
You never need to apologize to me.
456
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,519
In my eyes, you're perfect.
457
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,519
Ah, we're in Heaven.
458
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,039
Come here, you.
459
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,740
Oh, my God, this is all I ever wanted!
460
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,880
HOMER: Aw, damn it!
461
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,299
Hallelujah! I'm alive and back
462
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,859
in this big beautiful world.
463
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:43,299
I could kiss the first thing I see.
464
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,299
Ah. Promise is a promise.
465
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,779
- Homie!
- Dad!
466
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,529
- Doughboy!
- Yay!
467
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:51,769
Daddy, you came back! I believe again!
468
00:19:51,770 --> 00:19:54,059
Two lives saved by prayer.
469
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:55,599
And modern medicine.
470
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,759
This is why I became a doctor.
471
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,939
Because you both owe me $12,000.
472
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:01,640
(LAUGHS)
473
00:20:03,730 --> 00:20:05,359
No, no, no, no.
474
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,299
Nirvana is for closers,
475
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,659
and you couldn't close the deal.
476
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:10,629
- But-but...
- But-but-but-but-but nothing!
477
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:13,479
You couldn't even close
Todd frickin' Flanders!
478
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,172
That kid would follow a butterfly.
479
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,091
Just give me one more chance.
480
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:20,839
Do you think I got to be
Buddha by being patient?!
481
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,119
Check this out. I got you Ralph Wiggum.
482
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,279
Ralph Wiggum?
483
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,339
What am I gonna do with Ralph Wiggum?
484
00:20:27,340 --> 00:20:29,529
Everything is nothing!
485
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:33,023
Kid, you just blew my mind.
486
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:35,689
(ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING)
487
00:20:35,690 --> 00:20:38,362
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
488
00:20:41,830 --> 00:20:43,367
Good night, Roddy.
489
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,119
Ha!
490
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:55,499
♪ Praise God from whom
all blessings flow ♪
491
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,799
♪ Praise God ♪
492
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,079
♪ It's almost time to go ♪
493
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:08,620
♪ Todd has found just what he seeks ♪
494
00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:15,280
♪ New episode in two weeks. ♪
34845
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