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1
00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:04,569
(theme song playing)
2
00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:23,782
Phew! Hi, everybody!
3
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:25,016
ALEX:
Hi.
Hello, Elaine.
4
00:01:25,050 --> 00:01:26,684
I have no time
to talk today.
5
00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:28,353
Hey, hey, hey,
what's the big rush?
6
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:30,488
Oh, I've got an opening
at the art gallery.
7
00:01:30,522 --> 00:01:32,891
And my last fare
wouldn't get out of the cab.
8
00:01:32,925 --> 00:01:34,091
He kept flirting with me.
9
00:01:34,126 --> 00:01:36,227
You know, uh, telling me
about his Porsche,
10
00:01:36,261 --> 00:01:39,130
his stock investments, his plans
to scale Mount Everest.
11
00:01:39,164 --> 00:01:40,698
Every trick in the book.
12
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,534
Well, why didn't you just
throw him out of the cab?
13
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:44,369
And let him get away?
14
00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,304
Well, you didn't make a date
with this guy, did you?
15
00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:47,672
No, not a date.
16
00:01:47,706 --> 00:01:50,542
Just dinner tomorrow night.
17
00:01:50,576 --> 00:01:54,578
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have
to go make myself exquisite.
18
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:05,190
(as Vic):
Hey, working class.
19
00:02:05,224 --> 00:02:09,027
Well, if it isn't...
Mr. Personalities.
20
00:02:09,061 --> 00:02:10,895
What is new?
21
00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:12,697
Oh.
22
00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,733
Great question.
23
00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,535
I'm thinking
about taking up jogging.
24
00:02:17,569 --> 00:02:20,772
Hey, the granola man is
into physical culture.
25
00:02:22,274 --> 00:02:23,475
Forget jogging,
my friend.
26
00:02:23,509 --> 00:02:25,042
I've got one
word for you
27
00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:28,212
that's gonna make your
body say merci beaucoup.
28
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,849
Jazzercise.
29
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,384
Jazzercise.
30
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:33,984
That's right.
31
00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:35,453
Of course.
32
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:38,857
Tell me about this jazzercise.
33
00:02:38,891 --> 00:02:40,825
Well, it's...
34
00:02:43,795 --> 00:02:46,364
It's exercise to music
at a health club.
35
00:02:46,398 --> 00:02:48,132
In its purest form,
36
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,269
it's just you
and 25 ladies
37
00:02:51,303 --> 00:02:53,404
stretching,
38
00:02:53,438 --> 00:02:57,242
twisting and sweating.
39
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:03,982
Uh...
40
00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:07,986
how does a fella,
41
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:12,090
uh, get into this,
uh, jazzercise?
42
00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:14,625
(clears throat)
43
00:03:14,659 --> 00:03:16,494
Well, I'll tell you, my friend.
44
00:03:16,528 --> 00:03:17,829
You need three things.
45
00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,264
First, you need the desire,
46
00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:20,298
and you've got that.
Uh-huh.
47
00:03:20,332 --> 00:03:22,433
Then you need a sweat suit,
and you can get that.
48
00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:23,568
And then you need a friend
49
00:03:23,602 --> 00:03:25,803
who's not gonna be embarrassed
to take you with him.
50
00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:27,071
Good luck.
51
00:03:27,106 --> 00:03:28,573
(laughing)
No.
52
00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,675
I'm only kidding, Jimbo.
53
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,244
Hey, listen, every man needs
a cause, and you're mine.
54
00:03:33,278 --> 00:03:34,812
How about
tomorrow at 8:00?
55
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:36,881
(clicks tongue)
56
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,053
I see a vision.
57
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,454
Oh, thanks.
58
00:03:43,488 --> 00:03:46,424
She walks in beauty
like the night.
59
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:51,695
Of cloudless climes
and starry skies.
60
00:03:51,730 --> 00:03:56,367
Of all that's best
and dark and light
61
00:03:56,401 --> 00:04:00,671
meets in her aspect
and her eyes.
62
00:04:00,706 --> 00:04:02,907
Thanks.
63
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:04,809
Hey, Jim, that
is really nice.
64
00:04:04,843 --> 00:04:06,277
Where's that from?
65
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:09,547
Oh, some punk spray-painted it
on my van.
66
00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:15,520
ALEX:
Elaine?
67
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,388
Uh...
Something bothering you?
68
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,056
Yeah, um,
69
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:22,126
there's this small hole
above the sink in the bathroom,
70
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:23,961
you know, just, like,
large enough
71
00:04:23,996 --> 00:04:25,296
to poke my finger through?
72
00:04:25,364 --> 00:04:26,497
ALEX:
Yeah.
73
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:28,967
And I know
this sounds crazy, but...
74
00:04:29,001 --> 00:04:32,270
I thought I saw an eye
behind it looking at me.
75
00:04:32,304 --> 00:04:33,605
Nah. Come on.
76
00:04:33,639 --> 00:04:36,641
It's probably
your imagination... or a rat.
77
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:39,076
Where is Louie?
78
00:04:39,111 --> 00:04:40,444
Now, now, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
79
00:04:40,479 --> 00:04:41,679
I mean, Louie's a creep,
80
00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:43,047
but I don't think
he'd sink that low.
81
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,917
¶ A pretty girl
82
00:04:45,951 --> 00:04:49,553
¶ Is like a melody...
83
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,555
Ooh, I am gonna
pluck his eyes out.
84
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,124
No, no, no, Elaine,
Elaine, Elaine,
85
00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:55,627
you cannot
pluck his eyes out yet.
86
00:04:57,596 --> 00:05:00,230
Without proof, it's just
his word against yours.
87
00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:01,298
You want proof?
88
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:03,167
I'll give you proof.
89
00:05:03,201 --> 00:05:04,736
You know, maybe
I'm overdressed.
90
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,070
I think I'll
91
00:05:06,105 --> 00:05:08,306
change back into
what I had on before.
92
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,710
(humming)
93
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:17,682
TONY:
That's it!
94
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,350
That's it! I'm going in
there and breaking his jaw.
95
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:20,518
Tony, now,
look now, look now,
96
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:21,852
violence may be your way
of handling this,
97
00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:23,621
but I think Elaine
has a plan of her own.
98
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:24,789
Come on, let's just
let her handle...
99
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:26,724
(screaming loudly)
100
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:27,859
You were watching
me undress
101
00:05:27,893 --> 00:05:28,926
through that peephole,
weren't you?
102
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,194
No, no, no, no, no!
103
00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:31,562
It was your eye
I poked!
No!
104
00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,531
No. How could you accuse
me of such a thing?
105
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:34,432
It's absolutely untrue.
106
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,733
ELAINE:
Oh, yeah?
107
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:37,402
So then, why are
your eyes tearing?
108
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,969
Be... Be...
Because I'm hurt.
109
00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,304
I'm hurt
that you would even think
110
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,206
that I could do
such an awful thing.
111
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,308
So, how come
only one eye is tearing?
112
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,210
Well, it's not the end
of the world.
113
00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:49,280
If you... If you...
114
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:51,583
I'll forget
the whole incident.
115
00:05:55,287 --> 00:05:56,887
Louie, I hate you!
116
00:05:56,922 --> 00:05:59,824
I hate you more now than
I ever hated you before,
117
00:05:59,858 --> 00:06:02,660
and that's saying
something!
118
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,630
I'm an innocent man
falsely accused.
119
00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:07,999
Innocent, huh?
120
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:09,400
The gall of this man!
121
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:11,202
What gall? I'm innocent.
122
00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:12,303
We saw you go in.
123
00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:13,871
We know
there's a peephole there.
124
00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:15,206
We saw you come out,
125
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,575
and your eye is tearing
because Elaine poked it.
126
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:20,311
I'm innocent as a lamb.
127
00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:21,779
I... You just...
128
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,014
I... You...
129
00:06:23,048 --> 00:06:24,615
Oh, forget it.
130
00:06:24,683 --> 00:06:25,783
Forget it.
131
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:28,652
And that goes double
for me, Louie.
132
00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:31,222
You know, there aren't
too many do's and don'ts
133
00:06:31,256 --> 00:06:32,990
when it comes to women,
134
00:06:33,058 --> 00:06:38,262
but in Vic's book,
file this under "W" for whoa!
135
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:40,130
JIM:
Boss,
136
00:06:40,132 --> 00:06:42,900
nobody could want
to believe you more
137
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,668
than I want to believe you.
138
00:06:44,703 --> 00:06:48,506
I've had four heroes
in my life.
139
00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:51,709
Saint Thomas Aquinas,
140
00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:53,711
Mahatma Gandhi,
141
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,780
Alan Alda and you.
142
00:06:58,150 --> 00:06:59,884
Just look me in the eyes
143
00:06:59,918 --> 00:07:02,487
and tell me straight
that you didn't do it.
144
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:05,022
I can't look you
in the eye, Iggy,
145
00:07:05,056 --> 00:07:07,391
because Nardo just stuck
a finger in this one.
146
00:07:07,425 --> 00:07:08,826
But I didn't do it.
147
00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:10,661
That's good enough for me.
148
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:23,074
And three, four, five, six.
149
00:07:23,108 --> 00:07:25,209
Hips, hips, hips, hips.
150
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,411
Four, three, two, one.
151
00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:29,613
Rotate, rotate, rotate, rotate.
152
00:07:29,648 --> 00:07:31,783
Buns, buns, buns, buns.
153
00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:34,652
Buns, buns.
154
00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,290
There's one word I
never want to hear
155
00:07:39,324 --> 00:07:41,425
as long as I
live-- jazzercise.
156
00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:42,593
Oh, come on, man,
157
00:07:42,627 --> 00:07:43,761
get into it.
158
00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:44,929
Hips, hips,
hips, hips.
159
00:07:44,963 --> 00:07:46,097
Hey, Vic...
160
00:07:46,131 --> 00:07:47,265
Come on now,
one, two...
161
00:07:47,299 --> 00:07:48,900
I'm not a violent man
by nature.
162
00:07:48,934 --> 00:07:50,101
Hey, all right.
(mumbles)
163
00:07:50,135 --> 00:07:52,003
I'm sorry, sorry.
164
00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:57,208
Guys... this is
Andrea Stewart
165
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:58,742
from the National
Organization for Women.
166
00:07:58,777 --> 00:08:00,144
TONY:
Oh, hi.
167
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:01,746
She's here to settle up
the score for me with Louie.
168
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:02,914
Hello there.
Hi.
169
00:08:02,948 --> 00:08:04,115
Maybe, Elaine.
170
00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:05,817
Look, you know
I'm on your side,
171
00:08:05,851 --> 00:08:08,686
but that's why I just
feel it's important
to meet Mr. De Palma
172
00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:10,922
and hear his side of the
story before we get...
173
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:11,989
Hey, who's the toots?
174
00:08:12,023 --> 00:08:13,258
Louie, Louie,
Louie, Louie!
175
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:18,829
Hey, I saw her first, Reiger.
176
00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:23,267
What's your
name, sweetcakes?
177
00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:25,470
May I do this?
178
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:26,804
Uh, Louie De Palma,
179
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,841
I am pleased to introduce you
to Andrea Stewart.
180
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:31,208
She's the regional
director
181
00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:34,144
for the National
Organization for Women.
182
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:36,113
So?
183
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:38,449
They're here to take
action against you
184
00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:40,117
for what you
did to Elaine.
185
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:41,318
Fair enough.
186
00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:44,789
Might I suggest
a spanking?
187
00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:46,924
I've heard enough.
188
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:54,065
Louie, Louie, Louie.
189
00:08:54,099 --> 00:08:55,232
You really...
190
00:08:55,267 --> 00:08:56,834
You really did
it this time.
191
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:59,704
The boss is gonna
come down hard on
you for this one.
192
00:08:59,738 --> 00:09:01,338
What? Ratledge will laugh
those dames
193
00:09:01,372 --> 00:09:02,907
right out of his office.
194
00:09:02,941 --> 00:09:04,842
I've been
a loyal employee
195
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,745
of this company
for 15 years.
196
00:09:07,779 --> 00:09:10,381
It's my word against hers.
197
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:13,318
Against ours.
198
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:15,553
I don't want to talk
about this anymore.
199
00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:21,558
Hey, Ton, how would
you like cab 7-41?
200
00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,161
You mean the brand new one
that came in yesterday?
201
00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:26,264
I can't think
of a nicer guy
202
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,932
or a better cabbie
to break her in.
203
00:09:28,967 --> 00:09:31,969
Happy motoring, paisan.
204
00:09:32,003 --> 00:09:33,437
Gee, thanks, Louie.
Yeah?
205
00:09:33,471 --> 00:09:34,638
I really appreciate this.
206
00:09:34,672 --> 00:09:36,007
Thanks a lot.
Yeah?
207
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:38,742
You know, I'm still gonna have
to, uh, testify against you.
208
00:09:38,777 --> 00:09:40,177
Give me that!
209
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:43,281
You got 4-13,
the widow maker.
210
00:09:47,286 --> 00:09:49,820
Oh.
211
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:52,022
Wha...?
212
00:09:52,057 --> 00:09:54,024
What's going on up there?
213
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,526
Why are they saying such things?
214
00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:58,262
Iggy, come here.
215
00:09:58,296 --> 00:09:59,597
You heard what's going on?
216
00:09:59,631 --> 00:10:01,298
What'd they say?
What'd they say?
217
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,234
All I got was bits
and pieces, boss.
218
00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:04,434
Yeah?
219
00:10:04,469 --> 00:10:05,569
Let me think.
220
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:08,940
Uh... Uh, women's rights.
221
00:10:08,974 --> 00:10:10,341
Yeah.
222
00:10:10,375 --> 00:10:12,943
Uh, not an easy job.
223
00:10:12,978 --> 00:10:16,714
Uh... 15 years
loyal service.
224
00:10:16,748 --> 00:10:19,216
Aha! Hmm.
225
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:21,719
Lawsuit.
226
00:10:21,753 --> 00:10:24,822
Uh, serious charge.
227
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,591
Um... have a coffee?
228
00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:29,693
What else? What else?
229
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:31,028
Think! Think! Think!
230
00:10:31,096 --> 00:10:33,797
Uh, Sweet 'N Low.
231
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,035
I should be talking
to the banana.
232
00:10:38,069 --> 00:10:40,604
Like... give me a chance.
233
00:10:40,638 --> 00:10:43,073
There was something else.
234
00:10:43,075 --> 00:10:45,075
I'll search my mind
for it, boss.
235
00:10:45,109 --> 00:10:46,377
Yeah.
236
00:10:46,411 --> 00:10:48,145
Bring bloodhounds.
237
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,980
(Elaine clears her throat)
238
00:10:50,014 --> 00:10:52,249
Well, well, well, that was fast.
What happened?
239
00:10:52,283 --> 00:10:53,751
I decided not to sue.
240
00:10:53,785 --> 00:10:56,521
I've agreed to accept
his out-of-court settlement.
241
00:10:56,555 --> 00:10:57,655
(laughs)
242
00:10:57,689 --> 00:10:59,189
I knew it!
243
00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:02,593
The old fire dragon put you
in your place.
244
00:11:02,628 --> 00:11:04,361
You lost the battle, huh?
245
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:06,964
No, you lost your job.
246
00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:08,699
(groans)
247
00:11:12,237 --> 00:11:14,172
Oh, yeah, yeah.
248
00:11:23,882 --> 00:11:26,049
So...
249
00:11:26,084 --> 00:11:28,852
good-bye, cockroach.
250
00:11:28,887 --> 00:11:30,922
Good-bye, mouse.
251
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,890
Good-bye, Jeff.
252
00:11:34,192 --> 00:11:36,260
Good-bye, Louie.
253
00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:37,694
We can't let him go
254
00:11:37,729 --> 00:11:39,930
without giving him a good-bye,
can we, Alex?
255
00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:42,133
It's inexcusable
what he did to Elaine.
256
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:44,302
The reign of terror is over.
257
00:11:46,137 --> 00:11:50,374
So why do I feel sorry
for that broken toilet of a man?
258
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:55,146
Uh, Lou?
259
00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:57,314
What?
260
00:12:01,319 --> 00:12:03,354
Good-bye, Lou.
261
00:12:07,292 --> 00:12:10,093
Oh, yeah?
262
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:12,697
Well, you can keep
your good-byes.
263
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:14,699
You guys had your chance.
264
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:17,134
You could have stuck up for me,
but you didn't.
265
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,106
You never liked me,
and I never liked you.
266
00:12:22,174 --> 00:12:25,476
I'm going out there,
and I'm going to claw,
267
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,378
backstab, lie,
268
00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:30,014
cheat, walk all
over people,
269
00:12:30,048 --> 00:12:32,249
do whatever I have to,
to get to the top
270
00:12:32,317 --> 00:12:35,285
of this dung heap
we call a life.
271
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:39,423
And when I get there, I'm going
to spit on all you losers.
272
00:12:41,593 --> 00:12:44,061
Oh, I miss him already.
273
00:12:44,095 --> 00:12:46,297
(sobbing)
274
00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:53,036
Thanks a lot, Mrs. Brewer.
275
00:12:53,071 --> 00:12:55,406
I really appreciate that
you're taking the kids tonight.
276
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,007
Yeah.
(knock at door)
277
00:12:57,041 --> 00:12:59,910
Oh, okay, well, um,
I really can't talk to you now.
278
00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:01,111
My date is here.
279
00:13:01,145 --> 00:13:03,046
Okay, bye-bye. Thank you.
(knock at door)
280
00:13:06,117 --> 00:13:07,585
(knock at door)
281
00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:12,022
Hi.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
282
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:13,056
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
Louie!
283
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:14,625
Come on, come on, this
is not going to help.
284
00:13:14,659 --> 00:13:15,692
I'm not going to
change my mind.
285
00:13:15,727 --> 00:13:16,894
Please, Nardo.
286
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,095
Please, please.
Louie, come
on, get up.
287
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,363
No, no, no, no,
this is something
288
00:13:19,398 --> 00:13:20,898
I got to say
to your feet.
289
00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:22,032
Louie, come on.
290
00:13:22,066 --> 00:13:23,434
I have a date due
here any minute.
291
00:13:23,468 --> 00:13:24,701
I want you
out of here.
292
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:26,503
If you don't listen to me,
I'll kill myself.
293
00:13:26,538 --> 00:13:28,172
I swear I will--
I'll kill myself.
294
00:13:28,206 --> 00:13:29,206
Oh, no, you won't--
you are not
295
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,808
the kind of person who
takes his own life.
296
00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:32,009
Come on, Nardo.
Unfortunately.
297
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:33,410
Come on, Nardo.
298
00:13:33,445 --> 00:13:36,146
Come on, you got to give me
a break here. I mean, what...
299
00:13:36,181 --> 00:13:38,616
what-what-what-what kind of...
what do you got to lose here?
(knock at door)
300
00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:40,717
What's it going to cost you?
301
00:13:40,752 --> 00:13:42,353
She'll be with you
in two seconds.
302
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:45,989
Robert?
303
00:13:46,023 --> 00:13:47,224
He didn't give his name.
304
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,326
Oh, get out
of my way.
305
00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:55,532
Hi.
306
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:56,834
(chuckling nervously)
307
00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,969
Did I come at a bad time?
No.
308
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,370
I'm so embarrassed.
309
00:14:00,405 --> 00:14:02,206
Uh, why don't
you come in?
310
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:05,108
Um...
311
00:14:05,143 --> 00:14:07,011
why don't you
sit down
312
00:14:07,045 --> 00:14:09,713
and, uh, make yourself
comfortable?
313
00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:12,083
Oh, thank you.
314
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:15,419
They were lovely.
315
00:14:20,525 --> 00:14:21,458
Sit down.
316
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:22,693
Uh, I'll just be a minute
317
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,428
until I get rid
of this guy, okay?
318
00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:25,896
Who is he?
Uh, that's Louie.
319
00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:28,032
You-you know, the one
I told you about, from work.
320
00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:30,234
I'm sorry, Nardo, I'm sorry!
Okay, Louie,
it's too late.
321
00:14:30,268 --> 00:14:31,535
It can't be too
late, Nardo.
322
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:32,970
It can't be.
You don't understand.
323
00:14:33,004 --> 00:14:34,505
Do you know
where I'm going tomorrow?
324
00:14:34,539 --> 00:14:37,274
I'm going
to the unemployment line.
325
00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:39,576
I'm going there
with the derelicts,
326
00:14:39,611 --> 00:14:41,611
the washouts,
the scuzzos.
327
00:14:41,646 --> 00:14:42,779
(hyperventilating)
328
00:14:42,813 --> 00:14:44,548
That-that... you
can't understand.
329
00:14:44,582 --> 00:14:47,084
That job meant
everything to me.
330
00:14:47,118 --> 00:14:48,752
It was my life.
331
00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,487
It was... (wheezes)
it was everything.
332
00:14:50,522 --> 00:14:52,022
Without it,
I'm a nothing.
333
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,524
I'm a zero.
334
00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:55,225
I'm...
Louie, you should
have thought
335
00:14:55,260 --> 00:14:57,361
of that before you did
what you did.
336
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,062
What's the matter with him?
337
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:00,530
It's a ploy--
he's faking.
338
00:15:00,565 --> 00:15:02,166
Where's the head?
339
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,134
I don't want you
in my bathroom.
340
00:15:04,169 --> 00:15:06,136
Oh, yes, you do.
341
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:07,671
Oh, okay.
342
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,306
All right... no, no,
no, no, Louie, Louie,
343
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:10,740
Louie, Louie, this...
it-it's this way,
344
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,043
Come on.
345
00:15:15,647 --> 00:15:18,115
(chuckling)
346
00:15:18,149 --> 00:15:23,086
Robert, you have no idea
how sorry I am about this.
347
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:25,189
Well, obviously not
as sorry as he is.
348
00:15:25,223 --> 00:15:27,357
Oh, I know what this
must look like,
349
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,392
but it's not.
What a pathetically sad
little man.
350
00:15:29,427 --> 00:15:32,629
(laughs)
He's actually physically ill
from being so upset.
351
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,631
You don't know who
you're talking about.
352
00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:37,801
That man is a filthy,
lecherous monster
353
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,438
who does not deserve
our sympathy.
354
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:42,439
I see.
355
00:15:44,108 --> 00:15:45,509
I don't think so.
356
00:15:45,543 --> 00:15:47,077
You think I'm the
villain, don't you?
357
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,213
Elaine, I don't think there
are any villains here.
358
00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:50,080
Oh, yes, there are!
359
00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:51,882
And right now, he's
in the bathroom,
360
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,251
making himself sick, trying
to elicit sympathy,
361
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,053
which he is not
going to get.
362
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:57,988
I see.
363
00:15:58,023 --> 00:16:00,290
Robert, you've
got to understand.
364
00:16:00,324 --> 00:16:02,025
I'm a warm, sensitive
human being!
365
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,593
You've got to
believe me!
366
00:16:03,628 --> 00:16:05,362
I believe you,
I believe you.
367
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,466
(groaning)
368
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:12,870
Are you okay?
369
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:14,505
(panting)
370
00:16:14,539 --> 00:16:16,640
I'm a little
weak, but, uh,
371
00:16:16,674 --> 00:16:18,842
considering what I've
just been through,
372
00:16:18,876 --> 00:16:20,411
I'm not so bad.
373
00:16:20,445 --> 00:16:22,479
Well, why don't you come
over here and sit down?
374
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:23,780
(sighs)
375
00:16:23,815 --> 00:16:25,482
You know, I'm-I'm sorry
about the flowers.
376
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:27,150
Oh, no, no...
don't-don't...
They were lovely.
377
00:16:27,185 --> 00:16:28,885
Don't... don't
you worry.
378
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:30,287
Don't worry
about that now.
379
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,888
Here, just sit down.
380
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:33,190
(panting)
381
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:36,260
Elaine, what is the worst
thing that could happen
382
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:38,462
if you gave this
man another chance?
383
00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:44,935
He's got a good soul.
384
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,903
Louie, I've seen
this act before.
385
00:16:46,938 --> 00:16:48,706
It's not going
to work this time.
386
00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:50,307
Well, it's obvious the two of
you have things to work out
387
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,109
and I'm in the way,
so I'm going to go.
Oh, no, no, no.
388
00:16:52,143 --> 00:16:53,310
D-don't go, don't go.
No, no, no.
389
00:16:53,344 --> 00:16:55,345
If you go, she'll just
take it out on me.
390
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:56,981
No, Robert,
you don't really have to leave.
391
00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,282
I-I-I think I-I
better go now. I-I...
N-no, no, no ,no.
392
00:16:59,317 --> 00:17:01,285
I'll... I'll call you.
No, no, no, no,
Robert, Robert.
393
00:17:01,319 --> 00:17:03,620
No, Bobby, Bobby,
Bobby, please don't.
394
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:04,421
Don't go, don't go.
395
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:05,723
You can't leave her like this.
396
00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:07,424
I mean, it's not her fault!
397
00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,693
That jerk.
398
00:17:09,727 --> 00:17:11,161
Good riddance.
399
00:17:11,195 --> 00:17:12,663
You're better off
without him.
400
00:17:13,898 --> 00:17:17,101
Do you have any idea
how much I hate you right now?!
401
00:17:17,169 --> 00:17:18,435
What are you talking about?
402
00:17:18,469 --> 00:17:19,837
I tried to keep him here.
403
00:17:19,871 --> 00:17:20,904
You heard me.
404
00:17:20,938 --> 00:17:22,906
Hey, I'm the one he liked.
405
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,312
There is nothing more
to say to you.
406
00:17:28,346 --> 00:17:30,280
Just get out!
407
00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,694
I can't open this door, Nardo.
408
00:17:43,795 --> 00:17:44,961
Don't you understand?
409
00:17:44,996 --> 00:17:47,097
I can't leave here
without my job!
410
00:17:47,131 --> 00:17:48,432
I can't, I can't!
411
00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:50,167
I... can't.
412
00:17:55,306 --> 00:17:58,475
You never quit, do you, Louie?
413
00:18:01,078 --> 00:18:02,613
Sorry.
414
00:18:02,647 --> 00:18:03,680
I'm sorry.
415
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:05,248
Louie, can I get you anything?
416
00:18:06,351 --> 00:18:08,385
Well, if it's not
too much trouble,
417
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:10,520
some weak tea and my job back.
418
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,156
Louie.
419
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,593
How can you see me
suffer like this, Nardo?
420
00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:18,595
I mean, don't you
have a heart?
421
00:18:18,629 --> 00:18:20,597
I keep telling you I'm sorry.
422
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,465
Why can't you forgive me?
423
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,768
Because you're not really sorry.
424
00:18:24,802 --> 00:18:27,303
Because you don't
even understand
425
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:29,305
what was wrong
with what you did.
426
00:18:32,910 --> 00:18:34,678
You mean...
427
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:38,648
if I understood what was
wrong with what I did,
428
00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:40,984
then you'd forgive me
and give me my job back?
429
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,686
But you won't
understand.
But what if I did?
430
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:43,987
But you won't.
What if I did?
431
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:45,388
What if I did?
But you...
432
00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:48,158
Yes... but you'll never
understand.
433
00:18:48,226 --> 00:18:48,993
I will!
434
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,527
I'll understand.
435
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:53,663
(sighs) It-it's wrong...
436
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:56,233
because...
437
00:18:56,267 --> 00:18:57,768
(laughs)
438
00:18:57,802 --> 00:19:00,938
It's... it's wrong
because we're not supposed
439
00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:03,540
to peek at girls
without their clothes on.
440
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:04,741
(laughs)
441
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,043
And she...
442
00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:08,411
she thought I wouldn't
know why it was wrong!
443
00:19:08,446 --> 00:19:09,813
(laughing)
444
00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:10,948
Yeah.
445
00:19:10,982 --> 00:19:12,515
I think Ratledge
is home.
446
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,951
I'll get him
for you.
447
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:16,420
No.
448
00:19:16,454 --> 00:19:17,955
No?
449
00:19:17,989 --> 00:19:19,556
No.
450
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:23,961
See, I'm not looking
for any pat answers.
451
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:26,296
Wha-wha-wha-wha...
But, you know,
in a way, I-I'm-I'm hoping
452
00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:29,466
that you really understand this,
because I'd like to forgive you.
453
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:30,935
And I'd like to be forgiven.
454
00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:32,303
What's holding us up?
455
00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:35,472
Me?
456
00:19:35,506 --> 00:19:37,507
(groans)
457
00:19:40,778 --> 00:19:43,013
Object! Object!
458
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,548
I was treating you
like an object.
459
00:19:44,582 --> 00:19:46,583
I was treating you
like a sexual object,
460
00:19:46,617 --> 00:19:48,718
like somebody without
a head or nothing.
461
00:19:48,753 --> 00:19:53,123
Thank God I watched
that Donahue show about broads.
462
00:19:53,158 --> 00:19:55,025
I'll get Ratledge
for you right now.
463
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,160
Louie, get out.
464
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:57,894
Get out of my apartment,
get out
465
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:58,762
of my life!
466
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,497
But-but... God, God!
467
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:02,599
It's wrong
because God doesn't like it.
468
00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:04,267
No, no, no, no.
469
00:20:04,301 --> 00:20:05,736
God likes it?
470
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,803
Well, help me.
471
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:07,937
Uh, meet me halfway.
472
00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:09,806
Give me a hint.
All right, I will.
473
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,808
Oh!
474
00:20:11,842 --> 00:20:15,479
Louie, has there ever been
a moment in your life
475
00:20:15,513 --> 00:20:17,981
when your most basic,
fundamental right
476
00:20:18,015 --> 00:20:20,450
as a human being
has been violated?
477
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:22,486
Your right to privacy?
478
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,788
I'm sorry I violated
your right to privacy.
479
00:20:24,823 --> 00:20:27,190
No, it's not just repeating
what I just said!
480
00:20:27,259 --> 00:20:28,892
I'm sorry I repeated
what you just said.
481
00:20:28,926 --> 00:20:30,226
Louie, think
for a second.
482
00:20:30,261 --> 00:20:31,628
I can't-- I'm
too nervous.
483
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:33,330
Have you ever been violated?
484
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:38,402
Yes.
485
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:39,303
When?
486
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,171
What do you want, a story?
487
00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:42,939
Yes, I do.
488
00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:48,379
Okay.
489
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:55,452
Uh...
490
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:01,291
Uh..
491
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:02,726
twice a year...
492
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,628
(mumbles indistinctly)
493
00:21:04,662 --> 00:21:08,098
What?
494
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:12,102
Twice a year, I...
I have to go get new clothes,
495
00:21:12,136 --> 00:21:14,637
and, uh, I, uh...
496
00:21:18,209 --> 00:21:21,844
the only way that I can...
497
00:21:21,879 --> 00:21:25,582
the only way I can get anything
to fit me is, uh...
498
00:21:27,552 --> 00:21:31,055
I have to go
to, uh, a men's store
499
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:35,526
and walk straight
to the boys' department
500
00:21:35,593 --> 00:21:38,628
and ask if...
501
00:21:38,662 --> 00:21:41,898
they have anything
in the husky sizes.
502
00:21:41,932 --> 00:21:44,901
Huskies-- I hate them.
503
00:21:46,871 --> 00:21:48,238
I, um...
504
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:52,408
I don't... I usually
505
00:21:52,443 --> 00:21:54,878
will try to go
when there's nobody there.
506
00:21:54,912 --> 00:21:58,749
I... I go during
school hours.
507
00:21:58,783 --> 00:22:01,118
But no matter
when I go,
508
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:03,686
the place
is crawling with kids.
509
00:22:03,721 --> 00:22:06,957
And, uh... I don't even look
at what I'm getting.
510
00:22:06,991 --> 00:22:10,160
I just go over
to the rack, take it off,
511
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:13,896
my size, and I rush
into the dressing booth.
512
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,801
The last time...
513
00:22:17,835 --> 00:22:20,703
(sighs)
one of the mothers said...
514
00:22:24,742 --> 00:22:26,676
"You're lucky.
515
00:22:26,710 --> 00:22:30,613
At least you won't outgrow it
in six months."
516
00:22:35,052 --> 00:22:36,954
Did you say anything to her?
517
00:22:36,988 --> 00:22:39,089
I mooned her.
518
00:22:46,931 --> 00:22:49,299
But the...
519
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:52,869
the worst moment...
520
00:22:55,039 --> 00:22:57,907
is when you got to...
521
00:22:57,942 --> 00:23:00,677
push open those doors...
522
00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:04,581
and walk out
into that room...
523
00:23:06,317 --> 00:23:08,786
wearing your new
corduroys,
524
00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:10,754
making that noise.
525
00:23:10,789 --> 00:23:13,557
(mimicking chafing sound)
526
00:23:18,529 --> 00:23:21,531
And then,
all the parents
527
00:23:21,565 --> 00:23:25,502
tell their kids...
not to stare.
528
00:23:32,810 --> 00:23:36,380
Is that the way I made you feel
when I peeked?
529
00:23:39,217 --> 00:23:41,151
Kind of.
530
00:23:45,089 --> 00:23:47,791
God, I'm sorry.
531
00:23:47,826 --> 00:23:49,559
(chuckles softly)
532
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,294
(crying)
533
00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,862
It's okay.
534
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:08,177
(theme song playing)
535
00:24:31,336 --> 00:24:32,836
WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!
536
00:24:32,870 --> 00:24:33,837
(man grumbling)
36089
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