All language subtitles for Taxi - 3x19 - On the Job Pt2
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:06,467
( theme song playing )
2
00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,067
You couldn't just drive
3
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,701
and be happy you had jobs.
4
00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,534
The Sunshine Cab
Company is broke.
5
00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:19,567
We'll have to find
ourselves other jobs.
6
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:20,767
We'll meet in a month
and we'll tell about
7
00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:21,801
the great jobs we all got.
8
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:22,801
Yeah!
9
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:23,868
Here.
10
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,367
Congratulations.
11
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,767
Hello, my name
is Elaine Nardo.
12
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,634
Come on, Latka, there's
a lot of tables to be cleaned.
13
00:01:47,801 --> 00:01:51,100
( Louie chortling )
14
00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:52,367
Oh, I forgot.
15
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,234
Tonight's the night
the losers get together
16
00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,367
to share their
success stories.
17
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,501
It's going to be
a short evening.
18
00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:03,501
You have made
lots of money, Louie?
19
00:02:03,534 --> 00:02:05,601
Oh, I get by.
20
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,334
No one ask him.
21
00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:21,701
Ah, well, I can't
stick around.
22
00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,667
I got to get
back to work.
23
00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:27,033
I just stopped by to
have a beer and gloat.
24
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:28,067
( chortles )
25
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,000
Hey, Louie, you
forgot to sign
26
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,601
your unemployment
check.
27
00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:32,934
( Bobby snorts )
28
00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:35,901
( all snickering )
29
00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:38,701
TONY:
Go, Louie.
30
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,868
All right,
before you laugh at me
31
00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:42,901
you better listen to my story.
32
00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:44,400
Thank
you.
33
00:02:44,434 --> 00:02:45,901
All right...
34
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:49,367
I said I could succeed
in any field and I proved it.
35
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,501
I went down to Wall Street
and I became a stockbroker.
36
00:02:52,534 --> 00:02:54,734
BOTH:
Get serious.
37
00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,133
You've got to be kidding?
38
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,567
You, a stockbroker, Lou?
39
00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:58,734
BOBBY:
Give us a
break, Louie.
40
00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:00,634
Hey, I'm not saying
it was easy to break in.
41
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,734
These reports look fine.
42
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,801
File them with
the Clifton portfolio
43
00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:11,367
and bring me the Wesley-
Cosgrove prospectus.
44
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,400
Yes, sir.
45
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,067
You the top
dog here?
46
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:19,267
I didn't know Guysand Dolls was in town.
47
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:21,934
Excuse me.
48
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,133
You can't barge
in here like this.
49
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:25,534
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
50
00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,300
Are you the cheese or not?
51
00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:30,334
I'm the head of this firm,
if that's what you mean.
52
00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:32,767
Snap this picture.
53
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,868
Future generations
are going to want
54
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,067
an exact record
of the moment
55
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,968
that you hired your
greatest salesman.
56
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,467
Say "cheese," Cheese.
57
00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,000
There you go.
58
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,767
Miss Lang, what are you doing?
Call security.
59
00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:50,367
Yes, sir.
60
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,400
Good, good,
call security.
61
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:55,067
If I can't convince
you to hire me
62
00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:58,133
by the time they get
here, I'll leave.
63
00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:02,501
You know what the problem
with this company is, Mr. Gray?
64
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,067
You don't know how to get dirty.
65
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:11,167
What this organization needs
is a man who can get dirty--
66
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,367
someone who'll go out there
67
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,234
and scrape up any business
he can, any way he can,
68
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:20,501
from anybody who's got
a couple of bucks.
69
00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,901
You don't need
fancy clothes
70
00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:25,701
and a nice education
to make money.
71
00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:28,701
What you need is volume.
72
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,934
You need hustle!
73
00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:33,300
You need to get dirty!
74
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,567
I was born
dirty, Mr. Gray,
75
00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:42,467
and every day
I get dirtier...
76
00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:44,300
and dirtier!
77
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,467
( rapping on door )
78
00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,100
Trouble,
Mr. Gray?
79
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,801
Go on.
80
00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,133
And dirtier!
81
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,667
Hello, De Palma here.
82
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,067
You want a quote?
83
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,467
Hang on a second.
84
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:05,934
Let me have that.
85
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,868
All right, 33 1/8.
86
00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:11,467
All right, all right.
87
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:13,367
Hello there, De Palma here.
88
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,267
Oh, Tom, baby, how are you?
89
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,801
All right.
90
00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:19,934
Yeah, listen, Tom,
I'm very upset to find out
91
00:05:19,968 --> 00:05:25,901
that you've got your entire
account sewed up in one stock,
92
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:29,234
but if you want to bounce up
and down the boards with AT&T,
93
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,834
that's your business.
94
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:34,934
I'm telling you, Tom,
they're a fly-by-night outfit.
95
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,801
Hold on a second, something
just flashed on the big board.
96
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,868
Hello there,
sweetheart.
97
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:42,667
I don't believe
I've had the pleasure.
98
00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:44,234
We've met.
99
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:47,167
That's not the pleasure
I was talking about.
100
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,467
Tom, listen to the words
101
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:57,634
that are going to send you
to an early retirement:
102
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,701
Genetic research.
103
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,701
You know, cloning
and stuff like that.
104
00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:06,133
Listen, today they're
doing it with rats.
105
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:11,167
Tomorrow, they'll be cranking
out Cheryl Tiegs by the dozens.
106
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,400
Ah, I know what
you're going to say.
107
00:06:13,434 --> 00:06:15,367
I know, you got a
philosophical problem
108
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,200
because there's
a possibility
109
00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,501
that something maybe
could go wrong.
110
00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:21,100
I mean, some
mutant virus
111
00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:23,100
could wipe out half the world.
112
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,801
If you're in the half
that's still around
113
00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,834
do you want to be rich or not?
114
00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:30,434
All right, all right.
I'm going no further on this.
115
00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:32,734
I'll put you down
for 5,000 shares.
116
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,067
If you change your mind,
you get back to me, okay?
117
00:06:37,033 --> 00:06:39,634
5,000 shares!
118
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,868
( chortling )
119
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,734
Yes, guys, that's the way
he does it.
120
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,234
All right.
121
00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:49,968
Let's see...
122
00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,234
Whoop!
123
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,400
Hello, Mrs. Greer?
124
00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:59,367
Uh, this is
Louie De Palma.
125
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,200
Have you decided
what to do
126
00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,901
with your husband's
life insurance
settlement yet?
127
00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:08,200
Well, I noticed
in the obits this morning
128
00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:10,234
that he died last night.
129
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,400
Oh, oh, oh, well, well,
um, I'll call back in a...
130
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,801
you know, after the services.
131
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:25,701
All right, in the meantime,
think chemicals and electronics.
132
00:07:25,734 --> 00:07:27,000
All right.
133
00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,634
Okay, let's see...
134
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:38,033
Hello, Myron Schwartz?
135
00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,767
This is your cousin,
Louis Ginzberg.
136
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,934
No, I was at your wedding.
137
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,434
We met behind the chopped liver.
138
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,734
Uh, listen, listen--
139
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,400
I think our family
should stick together.
140
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,033
I got some
hot stock here
141
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,634
and I saved some for you.
142
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,567
I'll send you the prospectus.
143
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,734
Don't mention it.
144
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,033
Shalom.
145
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,033
Uh... ( clears throat )
146
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,901
Uh, I'll be
right with you.
147
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:12,000
( humming )
148
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,734
Uh, Mr. Tobias?
149
00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,901
Uh, this is Louie De Palma.
150
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:18,367
Oh, well, have you ever thought
151
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,000
of investing
in the stock market?
152
00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:25,234
Oh, well, is your mommy home?
153
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:29,000
No?
154
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:30,400
Well, do you know
155
00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:33,400
where your mommy
keeps her checkbook?
156
00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:37,567
Uh, all right,
look, David, David,
157
00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,167
I'll have to
get back to you.
158
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,200
Okay.
159
00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:42,200
All right, bye-bye.
160
00:08:42,234 --> 00:08:43,634
Uh, Mr. De Palma,
161
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:46,501
I have to speak to you
about something.
162
00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:48,767
I'm very busy here,
so make it quick.
163
00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:50,667
Certainly-- you're fired.
164
00:08:51,601 --> 00:08:54,067
I rushed you a little bit,
didn't I?
165
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,734
I'm sorry, I...
I made a mistake.
166
00:08:56,767 --> 00:09:00,267
You simply don't fit
into our organization.
167
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:04,000
I'm... I'm... I'm making
more money than anybody here!
168
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,634
We realize you're doing
high-volume business.
169
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,667
That's not the problem.
170
00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,901
It's your... demeanor.
171
00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:13,968
Your taste in
clothing is loud.
172
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,133
Your taste in everything
is loud.
173
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,634
You're loud!
174
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,267
Secretaries have
been complaining.
175
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,434
You eat too much
176
00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,534
in the corporate
dining room.
177
00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:29,567
You make noises when you eat.
178
00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,968
Everybody makes noises
when they eat.
179
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,868
Everybody makes eating noises
when they eat.
180
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,767
Yours are not
eating noises.
181
00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:46,267
Yours are not...
182
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,300
human noises.
183
00:09:49,534 --> 00:09:51,734
What are we talking about here?
184
00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,033
I mean ethics or something?
185
00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,467
Oh, no, I certainly
have no complaints
186
00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:56,667
about your ethics.
187
00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,100
You have no ethics.
188
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,400
The problem is...
189
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,267
we can't stand you.
190
00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,200
Everyone's complaining.
191
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,834
It's nothing personal,
you're just...
192
00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,133
disgusting!
193
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:34,467
What you call disgusting,
I call selling!
194
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:38,601
I'm better at this business
than any of you.
195
00:10:38,634 --> 00:10:41,267
I just don't look the part.
196
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,601
I don't behave like
the rest of you.
197
00:10:44,634 --> 00:10:48,601
I didn't go to the right
college, or any college,
198
00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:51,968
but let me tell you something,
Mr. Gray.
199
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,067
I'm going to leave here
feeling good about myself
200
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,834
because I know that I succeeded.
201
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,267
You have to stay here
202
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:06,100
knowing that some guy
off the street can outdo you.
203
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,701
Hmm!
204
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,067
I'm sorry.
205
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:18,601
Uh, Mr. De Palma,
I like to think
206
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:22,334
that even the most fleeting
and shallow relationships
207
00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,567
in this life somehow enrich us.
208
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:28,033
I think if you take a good look
at this situation
209
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,434
you'll find
you've profited by it.
210
00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:38,100
I couldn't agree more.
211
00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:52,300
So long, loser.
212
00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,300
TOMMY:
Louie, phone
for you.
213
00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:02,133
That's probably
Wall Street
214
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:03,834
begging me to come back.
215
00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:04,834
ALEX:
Go. Go.
216
00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:06,834
So, Bobby, I guess
it's your turn.
217
00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:07,901
What job did you get?
218
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:11,434
Um, I got something
in the entertainment field.
219
00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:12,434
All right, Bob!
220
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:13,968
ALEX:
That's
interesting, Bob.
221
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,100
Well, sort of.
222
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,501
What do you mean sort of?
223
00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:19,033
Well, I had a real hard time
finding anything,
224
00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:21,434
so I took a job
in a department store
225
00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:22,634
doing parties.
226
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,300
People would
have parties
227
00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:26,667
for their children
228
00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:29,567
and they'd hire me
to come to the party
229
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:31,167
and I'd play a part.
230
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,267
Oh, yeah?
What kind of part?
231
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,200
Um... well,
nothing crazy.
232
00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:38,200
Something pretty
traditional, actually.
233
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:39,501
( doorbell rings )
234
00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:44,267
BOBBY:
Is this the
Beck residence?
235
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,534
Yes, it is.
236
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,067
Well, I'm here for
your party.
237
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,901
Oh, good-- come in, please.
238
00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:52,634
That's...
239
00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,534
that's a nice outfit.
240
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,267
( giggles: )
Thanks a lot,
241
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,801
but you got to understand,
242
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,267
this is not what I do
for a living.
243
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,701
You just do it for fun?
244
00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,968
No... not for fun.
245
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,367
I'll get
the kids.
246
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,801
Hey, listen, um...
247
00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:12,167
excuse me, aren't you Cynthia
Beck, the film director?
248
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,300
That's right, I am.
249
00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:18,467
My name's Bobby Wheeler and...
and I just love your work.
250
00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:22,000
Well, I've always admired
your jelly beans.
251
00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,734
Hey, listen, actually,
I'm really an actor
252
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,467
and I haven't
done very much,
253
00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:27,234
but I'm really,
really good.
254
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,667
And I'd love to read
for you sometime,
255
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:30,501
but you're really
hard to get in to see.
256
00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:32,801
Uh, the kids are
kind of restless.
257
00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,000
I'll send them
right in.
258
00:13:34,033 --> 00:13:35,000
Okay.
259
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,501
Kids, come on,
the Easter bunny
260
00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,767
wants
to see you.
261
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:38,868
( all cheer )
262
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,534
( high voice: )
Hi, kids.
263
00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:45,133
Yeah! I'm the Easter bunny
264
00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:50,033
and I've come all the way
from the enchanted lettuce patch
265
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:52,667
just to spend
Easter with you.
266
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,667
Now, you want to sing a song?
267
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,667
Hmm?
KIDS:
Okay.
268
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,934
Okay, now you join in.
269
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,367
I think you'll know
this one, okay? All right.
Okay.
270
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,400
BOBBY ( kids join in ):
* Here comes Peter Cottontail
271
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:05,200
* Hoppin' down the bunny trail
272
00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,167
* Hippity-hoppity, Easter...
273
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:12,000
Oh! And now, kids, in keeping
with the Easter season
274
00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:16,467
the Easter bunny has
a special surprise for you.
275
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,534
He's going
to perform a scene
276
00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:22,033
from the Broadway play
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
277
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,133
That's right, kids.
278
00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:30,033
The Easter bunny
is also a serious artist, too.
279
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,100
Now, you have to pretend
280
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:36,567
that the Easter bunny's
paralyzed from the neck down.
281
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:40,133
And he's
talking
282
00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:41,133
to his
doctor, okay?
283
00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,901
You got that, right?
284
00:14:42,934 --> 00:14:44,534
Good.
285
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:48,868
( dramatically ):
Can't you see that
is why I've decided
286
00:14:48,901 --> 00:14:51,167
that life is not
worth living?
287
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,334
I'm not human!
288
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:56,467
And I'm even more
convinced of that
289
00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,300
by your visit than I was before.
290
00:14:58,334 --> 00:14:59,901
Now, how does that grab you?
291
00:14:59,934 --> 00:15:02,100
The very
exercise
292
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:04,400
of your so-called
"professionalism"
293
00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:05,934
makes me want to die.
294
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:11,634
She was so impressed
by my performance
295
00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,234
that she offered
me a part.
296
00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,234
Really?
Yeah.
297
00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,367
What part?
298
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,901
The clown at her
daughter's birthday party.
299
00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:20,167
All right, Bob!
300
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,534
Well, um... that leaves, uh...
301
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:25,334
the guy in the yellow sweater.
302
00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,267
( everyone laughs )
303
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,567
TONY:
Yeah, Alex, tell us.
304
00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:29,801
What'd you do?
305
00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,033
What'd you do?
What'd you do?
Come on.
306
00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:32,767
Well, I, uh...
I took a job
307
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,567
as a night watchman
in an office building.
308
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,767
A night watchman?
309
00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:38,601
ALEX:
I thought I would,
you know,
310
00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,167
have a lot of
time to myself--
311
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,968
you know, catch up
on a lot of reading
312
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,767
I always wanted
to get done.
313
00:15:43,801 --> 00:15:45,767
Well, the first
couple of weeks
314
00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:47,267
it was kind of boring.
315
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,467
But after that
316
00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:50,467
I started to go
a little nuts.
317
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:59,167
12,389...
318
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,667
12,390...
319
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:05,000
12,391.
320
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:10,267
12,391 hairs on my head.
321
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,434
Oh, what the hell,
let's make it an even number.
322
00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,567
12,390.
323
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:27,467
Oh, what else is left
on the agenda?
324
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,234
And I had dinner...
325
00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,934
Oh, next is my rounds, make
sure the building is secure.
326
00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:36,767
My rounds, my rounds.
327
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,934
Corridor A, Corridor B,
Corridor C, Corridor D.
328
00:16:39,968 --> 00:16:41,234
Wow.
329
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:48,133
Work, work, work, work, work.
330
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,934
Keep in shape.
331
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:57,133
( makes karate chop noises )
332
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:05,133
( grunting )
333
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,868
( barks )
334
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,734
This is how I look when I talk.
335
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,067
This is how I look
336
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,400
when I say, "This is how I look
when I talk."
337
00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,767
This is how I look when I smile.
338
00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:20,968
This is how I look
with my flashlight in my mouth.
339
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:27,667
This is how I look when I'm
the star of my own TV show:
340
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,968
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen!
341
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,534
Welcome to The Alex Rieger Show,
starring Alex Rieger.
342
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,834
Now let's get
to our first guest.
343
00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:38,467
Our first guest this evening,
ladies and gentlemen,
344
00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:40,901
is the greatest juggler
in the world.
345
00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:43,968
And let's see if I get his name
straight here:
346
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,067
Alex Rieger!
347
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,367
( grunts )
348
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,033
I am now going
to attempt juggling...
349
00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,300
backwards.
350
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,968
With one leg.
351
00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:09,534
Now, for my greatest trick,
ladies and gentlemen,
352
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,501
I must have complete silence.
353
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:14,601
I am going to juggle
and eat at the same time.
354
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,300
This is station Y.A.W.N.
signing off
355
00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:33,000
after an evening of telecasting.
356
00:19:35,901 --> 00:19:45,934
( humming"The Star-Spangled Banner" )
357
00:19:57,634 --> 00:20:00,434
( imitating airplane )
358
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:03,100
( keeps humming )
359
00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:08,534
( mimics airplane swooping )
360
00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,300
( yawns )
361
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:18,267
Oh...
362
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,634
Hi, Henry.
363
00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:21,033
You okay?
364
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:23,501
Oh, sure, sure,
I'm fine, Henry.
365
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:26,267
Well, I'll just be
going along now.
366
00:20:27,534 --> 00:20:29,634
Yeah, just take it easy, Rieger.
367
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:31,868
It's just the first
couple of weeks
368
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,100
on this job that
are kind of tough, you know?
369
00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,167
But once you've been at
it 20 years like I have,
370
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,734
boy, you're going
to learn to handle it.
371
00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:41,400
Thanks for
the tip, Henry.
372
00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:42,801
Take it easy.
373
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:44,234
Yeah, good night.
374
00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:47,968
( Alex humming )
375
00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:54,534
Gee.
376
00:20:54,567 --> 00:20:56,868
Boy... gee.
377
00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:14,501
It's time now...
378
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:17,100
for The Harry and Muffy Show!
379
00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,300
Yeah!
380
00:21:23,868 --> 00:21:26,300
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
381
00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:29,634
Well, who are
our guests tonight, Muffy?
382
00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:31,834
( giggling )
383
00:21:31,868 --> 00:21:33,167
( gasps )
384
00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:38,033
( high voice: )
Harry...
385
00:21:38,067 --> 00:21:40,434
you are a sick man.
386
00:21:46,901 --> 00:21:49,200
Listen up, dregs of society.
387
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,868
The Sunshine Cab Company
388
00:21:54,901 --> 00:21:57,067
was just purchased
by a new owner.
389
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,601
All right?
390
00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:01,200
We're back in business,
boys and girls.
391
00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:04,968
If you want your jobs back,
you better follow me.
392
00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:13,267
( sniffs )
393
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:16,667
So okay, so cab driving
is a stinky, lousy job
394
00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:18,601
that, uh...
has no comforts
395
00:22:18,634 --> 00:22:20,601
and no dignity
and no future,
396
00:22:20,634 --> 00:22:22,400
but on the other hand...
397
00:22:22,434 --> 00:22:24,400
would anyone
like to help me
398
00:22:24,434 --> 00:22:25,901
with the other hand?
399
00:22:25,934 --> 00:22:26,968
On the other hand
400
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,701
we stink at
everything else?
401
00:22:28,734 --> 00:22:30,534
Come on!
402
00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:31,534
All right!
403
00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:32,567
I guess...
404
00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,801
Let's go, Latka.
405
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,534
TONY:
Hey, Tom, on my tab.
406
00:22:35,567 --> 00:22:36,834
TOM:
You got it, Tone.
407
00:22:36,868 --> 00:22:38,133
( Tony hoots )
408
00:22:44,267 --> 00:22:46,334
Take this job and shove it.
409
00:22:55,934 --> 00:22:57,701
You know something?
I can't believe it,
410
00:22:57,734 --> 00:23:00,267
but it's actually
good to be back.
411
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:02,167
Yeah, I have
to admit it.
412
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,667
It is.
413
00:23:03,701 --> 00:23:06,634
Who ever thought we'd
miss this crummy place?
414
00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:08,267
Yeah, I know what you mean.
415
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:09,934
Oh, my God.
416
00:23:09,968 --> 00:23:12,434
It actually
feels like home.
417
00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:15,000
Yeah, it sure does.
418
00:23:15,033 --> 00:23:18,300
Well, let's get to work.
419
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,968
Yeah.
420
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,367
Hey...
421
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,467
what is it we do?
422
00:23:24,501 --> 00:23:26,334
We're cab drivers, Jim.
423
00:23:26,367 --> 00:23:28,367
Ah, come on.
424
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,167
No, really.
425
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,601
Wow!
426
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,467
Ignatowski...
427
00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:36,300
111.
428
00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:37,601
Banta...
429
00:23:37,634 --> 00:23:40,634
412.
430
00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,467
Wheeler, 603.
431
00:23:42,501 --> 00:23:44,467
BOBBY:
Old 603.
432
00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:46,601
LOUIE:
Nardo...
433
00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,033
218.
434
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,667
Rieger...
435
00:23:50,701 --> 00:23:52,234
134.
436
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,133
( theme music playing )
437
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,868
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
438
00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,234
( grunts )
29867
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.