All language subtitles for Taxi - 3x19 - On the Job Pt2

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:06,467 ( theme song playing ) 2 00:01:11,634 --> 00:01:13,067 You couldn't just drive 3 00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,701 and be happy you had jobs. 4 00:01:14,734 --> 00:01:17,534 The Sunshine Cab Company is broke. 5 00:01:17,567 --> 00:01:19,567 We'll have to find ourselves other jobs. 6 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:20,767 We'll meet in a month and we'll tell about 7 00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:21,801 the great jobs we all got. 8 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:22,801 Yeah! 9 00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:23,868 Here. 10 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,367 Congratulations. 11 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,767 Hello, my name is Elaine Nardo. 12 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,634 Come on, Latka, there's a lot of tables to be cleaned. 13 00:01:47,801 --> 00:01:51,100 ( Louie chortling ) 14 00:01:51,133 --> 00:01:52,367 Oh, I forgot. 15 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,234 Tonight's the night the losers get together 16 00:01:55,267 --> 00:01:57,367 to share their success stories. 17 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,501 It's going to be a short evening. 18 00:02:00,701 --> 00:02:03,501 You have made lots of money, Louie? 19 00:02:03,534 --> 00:02:05,601 Oh, I get by. 20 00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,334 No one ask him. 21 00:02:19,367 --> 00:02:21,701 Ah, well, I can't stick around. 22 00:02:21,734 --> 00:02:23,667 I got to get back to work. 23 00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:27,033 I just stopped by to have a beer and gloat. 24 00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:28,067 ( chortles ) 25 00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:30,000 Hey, Louie, you forgot to sign 26 00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,601 your unemployment check. 27 00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:32,934 ( Bobby snorts ) 28 00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:35,901 ( all snickering ) 29 00:02:37,534 --> 00:02:38,701 TONY: Go, Louie. 30 00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,868 All right, before you laugh at me 31 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:42,901 you better listen to my story. 32 00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:44,400 Thank you. 33 00:02:44,434 --> 00:02:45,901 All right... 34 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:49,367 I said I could succeed in any field and I proved it. 35 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,501 I went down to Wall Street and I became a stockbroker. 36 00:02:52,534 --> 00:02:54,734 BOTH: Get serious. 37 00:02:54,767 --> 00:02:56,133 You've got to be kidding? 38 00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,567 You, a stockbroker, Lou? 39 00:02:57,601 --> 00:02:58,734 BOBBY: Give us a break, Louie. 40 00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:00,634 Hey, I'm not saying it was easy to break in. 41 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,734 These reports look fine. 42 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,801 File them with the Clifton portfolio 43 00:03:08,834 --> 00:03:11,367 and bring me the Wesley- Cosgrove prospectus. 44 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,400 Yes, sir. 45 00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,067 You the top dog here? 46 00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:19,267 I didn't know Guys and Dolls was in town. 47 00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:21,934 Excuse me. 48 00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:24,133 You can't barge in here like this. 49 00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:25,534 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 50 00:03:25,567 --> 00:03:27,300 Are you the cheese or not? 51 00:03:27,334 --> 00:03:30,334 I'm the head of this firm, if that's what you mean. 52 00:03:31,367 --> 00:03:32,767 Snap this picture. 53 00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,868 Future generations are going to want 54 00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,067 an exact record of the moment 55 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:42,968 that you hired your greatest salesman. 56 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,467 Say "cheese," Cheese. 57 00:03:45,501 --> 00:03:47,000 There you go. 58 00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:48,767 Miss Lang, what are you doing? Call security. 59 00:03:48,801 --> 00:03:50,367 Yes, sir. 60 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,400 Good, good, call security. 61 00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:55,067 If I can't convince you to hire me 62 00:03:55,100 --> 00:03:58,133 by the time they get here, I'll leave. 63 00:03:58,167 --> 00:04:02,501 You know what the problem with this company is, Mr. Gray? 64 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,067 You don't know how to get dirty. 65 00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:11,167 What this organization needs is a man who can get dirty-- 66 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,367 someone who'll go out there 67 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:17,234 and scrape up any business he can, any way he can, 68 00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:20,501 from anybody who's got a couple of bucks. 69 00:04:20,534 --> 00:04:22,901 You don't need fancy clothes 70 00:04:22,934 --> 00:04:25,701 and a nice education to make money. 71 00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:28,701 What you need is volume. 72 00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,934 You need hustle! 73 00:04:30,968 --> 00:04:33,300 You need to get dirty! 74 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:38,567 I was born dirty, Mr. Gray, 75 00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:42,467 and every day I get dirtier... 76 00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:44,300 and dirtier! 77 00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,467 ( rapping on door ) 78 00:04:46,767 --> 00:04:48,100 Trouble, Mr. Gray? 79 00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,801 Go on. 80 00:04:54,834 --> 00:04:57,133 And dirtier! 81 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:01,667 Hello, De Palma here. 82 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,067 You want a quote? 83 00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,467 Hang on a second. 84 00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:05,934 Let me have that. 85 00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,868 All right, 33 1/8. 86 00:05:09,901 --> 00:05:11,467 All right, all right. 87 00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:13,367 Hello there, De Palma here. 88 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,267 Oh, Tom, baby, how are you? 89 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,801 All right. 90 00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:19,934 Yeah, listen, Tom, I'm very upset to find out 91 00:05:19,968 --> 00:05:25,901 that you've got your entire account sewed up in one stock, 92 00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:29,234 but if you want to bounce up and down the boards with AT&T, 93 00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,834 that's your business. 94 00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:34,934 I'm telling you, Tom, they're a fly-by-night outfit. 95 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,801 Hold on a second, something just flashed on the big board. 96 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,868 Hello there, sweetheart. 97 00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:42,667 I don't believe I've had the pleasure. 98 00:05:42,701 --> 00:05:44,234 We've met. 99 00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:47,167 That's not the pleasure I was talking about. 100 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,467 Tom, listen to the words 101 00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:57,634 that are going to send you to an early retirement: 102 00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,701 Genetic research. 103 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:02,701 You know, cloning and stuff like that. 104 00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:06,133 Listen, today they're doing it with rats. 105 00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:11,167 Tomorrow, they'll be cranking out Cheryl Tiegs by the dozens. 106 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,400 Ah, I know what you're going to say. 107 00:06:13,434 --> 00:06:15,367 I know, you got a philosophical problem 108 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,200 because there's a possibility 109 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,501 that something maybe could go wrong. 110 00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:21,100 I mean, some mutant virus 111 00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:23,100 could wipe out half the world. 112 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,801 If you're in the half that's still around 113 00:06:25,834 --> 00:06:27,834 do you want to be rich or not? 114 00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:30,434 All right, all right. I'm going no further on this. 115 00:06:30,467 --> 00:06:32,734 I'll put you down for 5,000 shares. 116 00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:36,067 If you change your mind, you get back to me, okay? 117 00:06:37,033 --> 00:06:39,634 5,000 shares! 118 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,868 ( chortling ) 119 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:45,734 Yes, guys, that's the way he does it. 120 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,234 All right. 121 00:06:48,267 --> 00:06:49,968 Let's see... 122 00:06:51,834 --> 00:06:53,234 Whoop! 123 00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,400 Hello, Mrs. Greer? 124 00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:59,367 Uh, this is Louie De Palma. 125 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,200 Have you decided what to do 126 00:07:01,234 --> 00:07:04,901 with your husband's life insurance settlement yet? 127 00:07:04,934 --> 00:07:08,200 Well, I noticed in the obits this morning 128 00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:10,234 that he died last night. 129 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,400 Oh, oh, oh, well, well, um, I'll call back in a... 130 00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,801 you know, after the services. 131 00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:25,701 All right, in the meantime, think chemicals and electronics. 132 00:07:25,734 --> 00:07:27,000 All right. 133 00:07:28,067 --> 00:07:29,634 Okay, let's see... 134 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:38,033 Hello, Myron Schwartz? 135 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:40,767 This is your cousin, Louis Ginzberg. 136 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,934 No, I was at your wedding. 137 00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,434 We met behind the chopped liver. 138 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:48,734 Uh, listen, listen-- 139 00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:51,400 I think our family should stick together. 140 00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,033 I got some hot stock here 141 00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,634 and I saved some for you. 142 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,567 I'll send you the prospectus. 143 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,734 Don't mention it. 144 00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,033 Shalom. 145 00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:05,033 Uh... ( clears throat ) 146 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,901 Uh, I'll be right with you. 147 00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:12,000 ( humming ) 148 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,734 Uh, Mr. Tobias? 149 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,901 Uh, this is Louie De Palma. 150 00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:18,367 Oh, well, have you ever thought 151 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,000 of investing in the stock market? 152 00:08:22,567 --> 00:08:25,234 Oh, well, is your mommy home? 153 00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:29,000 No? 154 00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:30,400 Well, do you know 155 00:08:30,434 --> 00:08:33,400 where your mommy keeps her checkbook? 156 00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:37,567 Uh, all right, look, David, David, 157 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,167 I'll have to get back to you. 158 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,200 Okay. 159 00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:42,200 All right, bye-bye. 160 00:08:42,234 --> 00:08:43,634 Uh, Mr. De Palma, 161 00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:46,501 I have to speak to you about something. 162 00:08:46,534 --> 00:08:48,767 I'm very busy here, so make it quick. 163 00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:50,667 Certainly-- you're fired. 164 00:08:51,601 --> 00:08:54,067 I rushed you a little bit, didn't I? 165 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,734 I'm sorry, I... I made a mistake. 166 00:08:56,767 --> 00:09:00,267 You simply don't fit into our organization. 167 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:04,000 I'm... I'm... I'm making more money than anybody here! 168 00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,634 We realize you're doing high-volume business. 169 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,667 That's not the problem. 170 00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,901 It's your... demeanor. 171 00:09:10,934 --> 00:09:13,968 Your taste in clothing is loud. 172 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,133 Your taste in everything is loud. 173 00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,634 You're loud! 174 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,267 Secretaries have been complaining. 175 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,434 You eat too much 176 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,534 in the corporate dining room. 177 00:09:25,567 --> 00:09:29,567 You make noises when you eat. 178 00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,968 Everybody makes noises when they eat. 179 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,868 Everybody makes eating noises when they eat. 180 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,767 Yours are not eating noises. 181 00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:46,267 Yours are not... 182 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,300 human noises. 183 00:09:49,534 --> 00:09:51,734 What are we talking about here? 184 00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,033 I mean ethics or something? 185 00:09:53,067 --> 00:09:55,467 Oh, no, I certainly have no complaints 186 00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:56,667 about your ethics. 187 00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,100 You have no ethics. 188 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,400 The problem is... 189 00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,267 we can't stand you. 190 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,200 Everyone's complaining. 191 00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,834 It's nothing personal, you're just... 192 00:10:09,868 --> 00:10:11,133 disgusting! 193 00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:34,467 What you call disgusting, I call selling! 194 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:38,601 I'm better at this business than any of you. 195 00:10:38,634 --> 00:10:41,267 I just don't look the part. 196 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:44,601 I don't behave like the rest of you. 197 00:10:44,634 --> 00:10:48,601 I didn't go to the right college, or any college, 198 00:10:48,634 --> 00:10:51,968 but let me tell you something, Mr. Gray. 199 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:56,067 I'm going to leave here feeling good about myself 200 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,834 because I know that I succeeded. 201 00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,267 You have to stay here 202 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:06,100 knowing that some guy off the street can outdo you. 203 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,701 Hmm! 204 00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,067 I'm sorry. 205 00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:18,601 Uh, Mr. De Palma, I like to think 206 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:22,334 that even the most fleeting and shallow relationships 207 00:11:22,367 --> 00:11:24,567 in this life somehow enrich us. 208 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:28,033 I think if you take a good look at this situation 209 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,434 you'll find you've profited by it. 210 00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:38,100 I couldn't agree more. 211 00:11:49,968 --> 00:11:52,300 So long, loser. 212 00:11:58,501 --> 00:12:00,300 TOMMY: Louie, phone for you. 213 00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:02,133 That's probably Wall Street 214 00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:03,834 begging me to come back. 215 00:12:03,868 --> 00:12:04,834 ALEX: Go. Go. 216 00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:06,834 So, Bobby, I guess it's your turn. 217 00:12:06,868 --> 00:12:07,901 What job did you get? 218 00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:11,434 Um, I got something in the entertainment field. 219 00:12:11,467 --> 00:12:12,434 All right, Bob! 220 00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:13,968 ALEX: That's interesting, Bob. 221 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,100 Well, sort of. 222 00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:16,501 What do you mean sort of? 223 00:12:16,534 --> 00:12:19,033 Well, I had a real hard time finding anything, 224 00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:21,434 so I took a job in a department store 225 00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:22,634 doing parties. 226 00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,300 People would have parties 227 00:12:25,334 --> 00:12:26,667 for their children 228 00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:29,567 and they'd hire me to come to the party 229 00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:31,167 and I'd play a part. 230 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,267 Oh, yeah? What kind of part? 231 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,200 Um... well, nothing crazy. 232 00:12:35,234 --> 00:12:38,200 Something pretty traditional, actually. 233 00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:39,501 ( doorbell rings ) 234 00:12:42,167 --> 00:12:44,267 BOBBY: Is this the Beck residence? 235 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,534 Yes, it is. 236 00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,067 Well, I'm here for your party. 237 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,901 Oh, good-- come in, please. 238 00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:52,634 That's... 239 00:12:56,167 --> 00:12:57,534 that's a nice outfit. 240 00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,267 ( giggles: ) Thanks a lot, 241 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,801 but you got to understand, 242 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,267 this is not what I do for a living. 243 00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,701 You just do it for fun? 244 00:13:03,734 --> 00:13:05,968 No... not for fun. 245 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,367 I'll get the kids. 246 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,801 Hey, listen, um... 247 00:13:08,834 --> 00:13:12,167 excuse me, aren't you Cynthia Beck, the film director? 248 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,300 That's right, I am. 249 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:18,467 My name's Bobby Wheeler and... and I just love your work. 250 00:13:18,501 --> 00:13:22,000 Well, I've always admired your jelly beans. 251 00:13:22,033 --> 00:13:23,734 Hey, listen, actually, I'm really an actor 252 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,467 and I haven't done very much, 253 00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:27,234 but I'm really, really good. 254 00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:28,667 And I'd love to read for you sometime, 255 00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:30,501 but you're really hard to get in to see. 256 00:13:30,534 --> 00:13:32,801 Uh, the kids are kind of restless. 257 00:13:32,834 --> 00:13:34,000 I'll send them right in. 258 00:13:34,033 --> 00:13:35,000 Okay. 259 00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,501 Kids, come on, the Easter bunny 260 00:13:36,534 --> 00:13:37,767 wants to see you. 261 00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:38,868 ( all cheer ) 262 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,534 ( high voice: ) Hi, kids. 263 00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:45,133 Yeah! I'm the Easter bunny 264 00:13:45,167 --> 00:13:50,033 and I've come all the way from the enchanted lettuce patch 265 00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:52,667 just to spend Easter with you. 266 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,667 Now, you want to sing a song? 267 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:55,667 Hmm? KIDS: Okay. 268 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,934 Okay, now you join in. 269 00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:59,367 I think you'll know this one, okay? All right. Okay. 270 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,400 BOBBY ( kids join in ): * Here comes Peter Cottontail 271 00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:05,200 * Hoppin' down the bunny trail 272 00:14:05,234 --> 00:14:07,167 * Hippity-hoppity, Easter... 273 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:12,000 Oh! And now, kids, in keeping with the Easter season 274 00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:16,467 the Easter bunny has a special surprise for you. 275 00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,534 He's going to perform a scene 276 00:14:18,567 --> 00:14:22,033 from the Broadway play Whose Life Is It Anyway? 277 00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,133 That's right, kids. 278 00:14:26,167 --> 00:14:30,033 The Easter bunny is also a serious artist, too. 279 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:32,100 Now, you have to pretend 280 00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:36,567 that the Easter bunny's paralyzed from the neck down. 281 00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:40,133 And he's talking 282 00:14:40,167 --> 00:14:41,133 to his doctor, okay? 283 00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:42,901 You got that, right? 284 00:14:42,934 --> 00:14:44,534 Good. 285 00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:48,868 ( dramatically ): Can't you see that is why I've decided 286 00:14:48,901 --> 00:14:51,167 that life is not worth living? 287 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,334 I'm not human! 288 00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:56,467 And I'm even more convinced of that 289 00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,300 by your visit than I was before. 290 00:14:58,334 --> 00:14:59,901 Now, how does that grab you? 291 00:14:59,934 --> 00:15:02,100 The very exercise 292 00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:04,400 of your so-called "professionalism" 293 00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:05,934 makes me want to die. 294 00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:11,634 She was so impressed by my performance 295 00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:13,234 that she offered me a part. 296 00:15:13,267 --> 00:15:14,234 Really? Yeah. 297 00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:15,367 What part? 298 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,901 The clown at her daughter's birthday party. 299 00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:20,167 All right, Bob! 300 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,534 Well, um... that leaves, uh... 301 00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:25,334 the guy in the yellow sweater. 302 00:15:25,367 --> 00:15:27,267 ( everyone laughs ) 303 00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,567 TONY: Yeah, Alex, tell us. 304 00:15:28,601 --> 00:15:29,801 What'd you do? 305 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:31,033 What'd you do? What'd you do? Come on. 306 00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:32,767 Well, I, uh... I took a job 307 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,567 as a night watchman in an office building. 308 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,767 A night watchman? 309 00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:38,601 ALEX: I thought I would, you know, 310 00:15:38,634 --> 00:15:40,167 have a lot of time to myself-- 311 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,968 you know, catch up on a lot of reading 312 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,767 I always wanted to get done. 313 00:15:43,801 --> 00:15:45,767 Well, the first couple of weeks 314 00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:47,267 it was kind of boring. 315 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,467 But after that 316 00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:50,467 I started to go a little nuts. 317 00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:59,167 12,389... 318 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,667 12,390... 319 00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:05,000 12,391. 320 00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:10,267 12,391 hairs on my head. 321 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:17,434 Oh, what the hell, let's make it an even number. 322 00:16:19,033 --> 00:16:21,567 12,390. 323 00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:27,467 Oh, what else is left on the agenda? 324 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,234 And I had dinner... 325 00:16:31,267 --> 00:16:33,934 Oh, next is my rounds, make sure the building is secure. 326 00:16:33,968 --> 00:16:36,767 My rounds, my rounds. 327 00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:39,934 Corridor A, Corridor B, Corridor C, Corridor D. 328 00:16:39,968 --> 00:16:41,234 Wow. 329 00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:48,133 Work, work, work, work, work. 330 00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,934 Keep in shape. 331 00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:57,133 ( makes karate chop noises ) 332 00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:05,133 ( grunting ) 333 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,868 ( barks ) 334 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,734 This is how I look when I talk. 335 00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:10,067 This is how I look 336 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,400 when I say, "This is how I look when I talk." 337 00:18:13,434 --> 00:18:15,767 This is how I look when I smile. 338 00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:20,968 This is how I look with my flashlight in my mouth. 339 00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:27,667 This is how I look when I'm the star of my own TV show: 340 00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,968 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! 341 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,534 Welcome to The Alex Rieger Show, starring Alex Rieger. 342 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,834 Now let's get to our first guest. 343 00:18:35,868 --> 00:18:38,467 Our first guest this evening, ladies and gentlemen, 344 00:18:38,501 --> 00:18:40,901 is the greatest juggler in the world. 345 00:18:40,934 --> 00:18:43,968 And let's see if I get his name straight here: 346 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,067 Alex Rieger! 347 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,367 ( grunts ) 348 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,033 I am now going to attempt juggling... 349 00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,300 backwards. 350 00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:03,968 With one leg. 351 00:19:06,434 --> 00:19:09,534 Now, for my greatest trick, ladies and gentlemen, 352 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,501 I must have complete silence. 353 00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:14,601 I am going to juggle and eat at the same time. 354 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,300 This is station Y.A.W.N. signing off 355 00:19:30,334 --> 00:19:33,000 after an evening of telecasting. 356 00:19:35,901 --> 00:19:45,934 ( humming "The Star-Spangled Banner" ) 357 00:19:57,634 --> 00:20:00,434 ( imitating airplane ) 358 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:03,100 ( keeps humming ) 359 00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:08,534 ( mimics airplane swooping ) 360 00:20:11,834 --> 00:20:14,300 ( yawns ) 361 00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:18,267 Oh... 362 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,634 Hi, Henry. 363 00:20:19,667 --> 00:20:21,033 You okay? 364 00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:23,501 Oh, sure, sure, I'm fine, Henry. 365 00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:26,267 Well, I'll just be going along now. 366 00:20:27,534 --> 00:20:29,634 Yeah, just take it easy, Rieger. 367 00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:31,868 It's just the first couple of weeks 368 00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:34,100 on this job that are kind of tough, you know? 369 00:20:34,133 --> 00:20:37,167 But once you've been at it 20 years like I have, 370 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,734 boy, you're going to learn to handle it. 371 00:20:39,767 --> 00:20:41,400 Thanks for the tip, Henry. 372 00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:42,801 Take it easy. 373 00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:44,234 Yeah, good night. 374 00:20:45,267 --> 00:20:47,968 ( Alex humming ) 375 00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:54,534 Gee. 376 00:20:54,567 --> 00:20:56,868 Boy... gee. 377 00:21:13,167 --> 00:21:14,501 It's time now... 378 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:17,100 for The Harry and Muffy Show! 379 00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,300 Yeah! 380 00:21:23,868 --> 00:21:26,300 Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. 381 00:21:26,334 --> 00:21:29,634 Well, who are our guests tonight, Muffy? 382 00:21:30,667 --> 00:21:31,834 ( giggling ) 383 00:21:31,868 --> 00:21:33,167 ( gasps ) 384 00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:38,033 ( high voice: ) Harry... 385 00:21:38,067 --> 00:21:40,434 you are a sick man. 386 00:21:46,901 --> 00:21:49,200 Listen up, dregs of society. 387 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,868 The Sunshine Cab Company 388 00:21:54,901 --> 00:21:57,067 was just purchased by a new owner. 389 00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:58,601 All right? 390 00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:01,200 We're back in business, boys and girls. 391 00:22:01,234 --> 00:22:04,968 If you want your jobs back, you better follow me. 392 00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:13,267 ( sniffs ) 393 00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:16,667 So okay, so cab driving is a stinky, lousy job 394 00:22:16,701 --> 00:22:18,601 that, uh... has no comforts 395 00:22:18,634 --> 00:22:20,601 and no dignity and no future, 396 00:22:20,634 --> 00:22:22,400 but on the other hand... 397 00:22:22,434 --> 00:22:24,400 would anyone like to help me 398 00:22:24,434 --> 00:22:25,901 with the other hand? 399 00:22:25,934 --> 00:22:26,968 On the other hand 400 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,701 we stink at everything else? 401 00:22:28,734 --> 00:22:30,534 Come on! 402 00:22:30,567 --> 00:22:31,534 All right! 403 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:32,567 I guess... 404 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,801 Let's go, Latka. 405 00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,534 TONY: Hey, Tom, on my tab. 406 00:22:35,567 --> 00:22:36,834 TOM: You got it, Tone. 407 00:22:36,868 --> 00:22:38,133 ( Tony hoots ) 408 00:22:44,267 --> 00:22:46,334 Take this job and shove it. 409 00:22:55,934 --> 00:22:57,701 You know something? I can't believe it, 410 00:22:57,734 --> 00:23:00,267 but it's actually good to be back. 411 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:02,167 Yeah, I have to admit it. 412 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:03,667 It is. 413 00:23:03,701 --> 00:23:06,634 Who ever thought we'd miss this crummy place? 414 00:23:06,667 --> 00:23:08,267 Yeah, I know what you mean. 415 00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:09,934 Oh, my God. 416 00:23:09,968 --> 00:23:12,434 It actually feels like home. 417 00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:15,000 Yeah, it sure does. 418 00:23:15,033 --> 00:23:18,300 Well, let's get to work. 419 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,968 Yeah. 420 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,367 Hey... 421 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,467 what is it we do? 422 00:23:24,501 --> 00:23:26,334 We're cab drivers, Jim. 423 00:23:26,367 --> 00:23:28,367 Ah, come on. 424 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,167 No, really. 425 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,601 Wow! 426 00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,467 Ignatowski... 427 00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:36,300 111. 428 00:23:36,334 --> 00:23:37,601 Banta... 429 00:23:37,634 --> 00:23:40,634 412. 430 00:23:40,667 --> 00:23:42,467 Wheeler, 603. 431 00:23:42,501 --> 00:23:44,467 BOBBY: Old 603. 432 00:23:44,501 --> 00:23:46,601 LOUIE: Nardo... 433 00:23:46,634 --> 00:23:48,033 218. 434 00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:50,667 Rieger... 435 00:23:50,701 --> 00:23:52,234 134. 436 00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,133 ( theme music playing ) 437 00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:27,868 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 438 00:24:27,901 --> 00:24:29,234 ( grunts ) 29867

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.