All language subtitles for Succession.S02E03.iNTERNAL.480p.x264-mSD[eztv]

Obviously, this is daunting,
writing a biography.

A serious study of a
man like Logan Roy, I...

Thank you so much for
agreeing to meet with me.

Sure. Uh, but just to be
clear, uh, this isn't a meeting.

This is a precursor to see
if I might be willing to meet.

Absolutely. You were very
clear about your concerns.

Because actually meeting
you would be a big step.

- Uh-huh.
- I'm a time-pressed executive,

so before we even get to
the ethical considerations,

can I eke out time in my calendar?

Of course.

Um...

On the other hand, I...

don't think it's too self-aggrandizing

to hope I might have
some wisdom to impart.

There's no time like the present,

- right?
- It would need to be discreet.

I don't wanna make my uncle
mad, because he can be, uh...

Well, he can be scary,
vindictive, paranoid...

- Oh, yeah.
- ...violent...

(MUTTERS) Scary, vindictive...

Wait, I'm sorry. Uh...

No, no, no. None of this...
I'm not actually saying that.

- Yet.
- Oh.

Would you like this
meeting to be on background?

But this isn't...

You can't say I said anything.

But you did.

Look, Greg, if you want
this to be anonymous,

you have to say that from the outset.

You can't do that retroactively.

But no, because this isn't a meeting.

- This... You can't...
- Look...

- That's not fair. That's unfair.
- Greg,

I am writing this biography.

I am going to cover
Logan Roy's life and work.

- Mm-hmm.
- And I really have no doubt

that you have been to
a bunch of meetings,

and you have done a bunch of things.

So, my question is:

Do you want to present your side,

or are you happy for everyone
else to tell their version?

(GREG EXHALES SHARPLY)

Okay, I need to think.
I need... I'm gonna go,

I... I'm... But this
leaving... How I look,

and how I'm getting up and everything,

is off the record, okay?

- Thank you, ma'am.
- (CHAIR SCRAPES)

♪ ("SUCCESSION" THEME MUSIC BEGINS) ♪

- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

♪ Succession 2x03 ♪
Hunting

DOCTOR: So you're still
getting the stiffness?

Neck and shoulders.
Chest pains, too, I heard.

(SIGHS) Pain. One pain.

That's 'cause you've got me
working out so fuckin' much.

I'm Johnny fuckin' Weissmuller here.

And the meds we've got you
on, well, you let me know

if you suffer from
any anxiety, paranoia,

- irritation...
- Oh, fuck off.

They're trying to
destroy my life's work.

Maria just called about Mo.

She was wondering if you'd
like to go to the hospice.

Oh, I'll let them know, yes.

Should I schedule a visit?

She says he's probably only
got a matter of a week or two.

Nah, remind me in a week or two.

And Shiv's on the line.

I'll do her after the proxy meet.

Uh, pencil it for midnight.

DOCTOR: Can I suggest you
look for some downtime?

Could you sit out the
corporate retreat this year?

(SIGHS) Let them do the meet without me?

(CHUCKLES) While the cat's
away, I don't fuckin' think so.

So...

how we looking?

I've burned villages and
overthrown governments

on your behalf,

and I believe with the right offer,

correctly couched, uh,
we could be at a "maybe".

Maybe?

So?

Just taking five to regroup.

I've got three banks, 50 lawyers,

two PR agencies,

DF Kings,

and an army of private dicks
trying to fight this takeover,

but take five to eat my
pastries, why don't ya?

Uh, we were actually at, uh,
something of an impasse, um...

There were some doubts
as to whether, you know,

an acquisition is really
what we need right now.

LOGAN ROY: Uh-huh.

It is.

The bigger the better.

And I have it.

We're going for PGM.

Pierce.

Okay. Again. G... Great.

- TOM WAMBSGANS: That's chunky.
- LOGAN: Nice and chunky.

We leverage up and eat Pierce,

we're too big for Sandy
and Stewy to come for.

They'd fucking choke.

GERRI KELLMAN: Could be a great move.

It's an, um, interesting challenge,

because last time we
tried it, their surrogates

called us "cultural vandals",

and "poison in the well
of public discourse".

(CHUCKLES)

Well...

times have changed.

Um, I... I don't wanna say too much.

Oh, some of the young
cousins want yacht money?

Well, it's... it's delicate, um,

like French kissing an armadillo.

LOGAN: We're gonna fucking eat them up.

- Good?
- Yeah. Let's do it.

- I like it.
- ROMAN ROY: Oh, fuck off, dude.

Don't be such a suck-up. It's pathetic.

What about you, Romulus?

Uh, I fucking love it, but
that's my honest opinion.

Great. Forward. Fast.

We all like this?

(ALL ASSENTING)

Pierce...

Why does he keep coming back to this?

I just... You know, I wanna understand.

KENDALL ROY: Uh, because
it's a force multiplier.

Once sector, many brands.

Plus PGM is basically
plug and play for us.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's
'cause Uncle Ewan watches it.

It's his favorite news,
so Dad wants to buy it

- to piss him off.
- KARL: What, for 20 billion?

Well, can't he just take the
batteries out of his remote?

Well, Pierce also own the New York Mail,

and we fucking hate the Mail.

Logan loaned a number of
ancient Greek military artifacts

to the Getty Villa, and
held a drinks reception.

The Mail did a hit piece.

They said he served warm white wine,

and that he thought Plato
was one of the Marx brothers.

And to avenge that four
inches of newsprint,

we are rolling the dice on a
20-billion-dollar crapshoot.

So...

Okay, I mean, yeah. If
there are doubts, let's...

- let's air them.
- (KARL SCOFFS)

- No, I...
- KENDALL: Because you're right,

if the debt from an
acquisition like this

became unmanageable,
we could death-spiral,

and then, uh, we'd all
go down with the ship.

It would be a reputational
and financial...

disaster for all of us. Right?

ROMAN: What are you saying, Ken?

No, I'm just gauging the room.

No, it's nonetheless extremely exciting.

Oh, yeah. No, no. I... I... I like it.

- Good.
- Good.

KENDALL: Okay. Good. Great.

Let's, uh... Let's bag
this elephant for Dad.

ROMAN: Yeah. Let's do it.

Yeah. Let's bone this turkey.

So, Pierce is the answer.

Those blue-blooded fucks.

The business answer.
They take over defense.

It's the whole thing. So what's next?

Uh, the tough part is
contact with the family.

We need a pair of safe hands.

Dainty hands, in exquisite mittens.

Who's our most pointy-headed fuck?

Well, it's a shame...

Uh, but you did have one
heavyweight that they liked.

Old Bore Vidal.

Oh, yeah. They all love
fucking Shakespeare Frank.

Backstabber.

What? Frank?

Yeah fuckin' right!

Oh. Dad, no.

Frank does have friends in dry places.

He's close to Nam Pierce, uh, Naomi.

LOGAN: You think he'd come back?

(KENDALL SIGHS) Yeah, maybe.

He's power-hungry and status-obsessed,

and, you know, avaricious,

- so...
- And pretty much your godfather,

- and your closest business...
- KENDALL: Those are just facts.

This is fuckin' bullshit. Jesus Christ.

I think he knows he did bad.

Oh, fuck. I swear to God, Dad,

if you bring him back, I am walking.

Back to my office to...

- sulk. Fuck!
- LOGAN: Fine.

I don't fuckin' care.

Guest of fucking honor at the retreat.

Let's try it. Good?

KENDALL: Corporate retreat?
You... You still wanna do that?

- You don't wanna... hunker?
- Nah. It's a morale booster.

- Where is it?
- Uh, Hungary.

Still.

It'll keep the top team tight
till we agree on a strategy.

- No leaks.
- Okay.

Logan...

it's Connor.

I ranch, I ride, I earn, and I give.

Just like you.

But... ding-dong,
who's there? Uncle Sam.

And where's his hand?

In my pants.

ROMAN: Hey, is anyone in my house?

Hey. Uh, have you seen this?

Yeah.

He said he's beta testing it,

before he Instagrams and
enters the "ideas primary".

Maybe he's a genius.

TABITHA: That's one word for it.

ROMAN: A genius rancher.

All I want is a fair, flat
tax, same for all Americans,

but headed down to zero
within a decade or so.

- (CHUCKLES)
- CONNOR: What am I gonna do? Well, I'll tell ya.

- I ain't paying.
- TABITHA: Oh, my God.

And if you want to arrest me, go ahead.

No, really. Just go ahead and try.

Quick question.

Do you think he even
knows what a jail is?

He literally only
knows it from Monopoly.

(LAUGHS) He's not actually
gonna put this out there,

- is he?
- Um...

I think Dad's all over it.

I have a question for you, though.

Uh-huh.

You're, uh... You're pals
with Naomi Pierce, right?

Yeah. Why?

Dad wants to buy PGM.

Pierce.

But that wouldn't be allowed.

Would it?

I mean that's what...
My parents watch that.

- That's like actual news.
- Mm-hmm.

He can do whatever the fuck he likes.

He's like a human Saudi Arabia.

So, what, you... you wanna
use Naomi to broker a deal?

Bingo.

And I think it's a good plan.

- I land the deal...
- Mm-hmm.

...I kill Kendall. I'm crowned the king.

Just like in Hamlet.

If that happens in Hamlet. I don't care.

- Just like Hamlet.
- Okay.

Um, here is Naomi's...

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- ...address.

She's cool. I think you'd like her.

- Oh, yeah?
- Hmm.

How do you know her, anyway?

Ew. You fucked her.

Is there anybody you haven't fucked?

You.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

Dad. Hey. Finally.

Hello.

LOGAN: Enjoying your downtime?

Uh, I'm re-reading the 10-K.

Uh, we need to talk about Pierce.

That's not to be
spoken of. Who told you?

SHIV ROY: Am I not supposed to know?

Hey, I was thinking,
we should maybe think of

a reason for me to be on the retreat,

in case we're talking strategy.

Ah. Listen.

LOGAN: I need you to go and see Connor.

Oh, what, I'm Connor's babysitter now?

LOGAN: You're unemployed. This is a job.

He could hurt us.

You don't go shouting about tax.

We have arrangements.

We'll talk when I'm back,

- okay?
- SHIV: Dad, I...

(SIGHS)

- Hey.
- Hi. What the fuck is happening?

Do you know about chasing Pierce?

Sure, I was in the fucking meeting.

How do you know about Pierce?

I had Gerri on the phone.

She thinks Dad's gone
woo-woo and I agree.

Did your dad update you?

This is a disaster. Who said what,

- and who wants to stop it?
- I think it could be good.

Yeah. Dick over Pierce,

dick over Sandy and
Stewy, double our size.

No one is gonna wanna tackle
a big angry puffer fish

bristling with dick.

Tom, it's batshit. It's an obsession.

- What?
- Can you imagine the blowback?

Us trying to buy Pierce, the
most respected name in news?

But we already do news,
right? So it's just more news.

It's like synergies...

Yeah, but if we own all the news,

I do actually wonder where
I'll get my fucking news.

Because at some point,
someone needs to actually

keep track of what's
going on in the world.

Who went where, and who wore a hat.

I think it's gonna be a separate brand.

Let me keep the truthy,
oatmeal branding.

Yeah, but the American Republic
is in not great shape as it is.

What, you've got the...
The Times, The Post,

editors at Pierce,

and a couple of hundred
angry young women on Twitter,

and that's about it.

- (SCOFFS) Please.
- SHIV: No! Tom,

it is thread-fucking-bare out there,

and now we're gonna eat another one?

Well, do you want to tell him that?

SHIV: Tom, this is serious.

It's a snake eating a crocodile.

It doesn't fit, it's too big.

It's a 20-billion-dollar acquisition

that either breaks us or takes
half a decade to integrate.

We need to stop him.

So, talk to him in Hungary.

- What?
- Yeah.

I... I don't think
I wanna do that, Shiv.

Uh... Oh, hello? Is this
the replicant department?

Yeah, my meat-puppet
has stopped working.

Shiv. Shiv.

Tom, I'm joking.

But I'm also not.

People would do well to remember

there's gonna be a new
sheriff in town one day.

So, rally the resistance,

Deputy.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hey, Gerri, what's the
thinking behind Hungary?

I's a nice place to shoot a gun
where no one cares what you hit.

So, guys, listen.

I have a great drinking
game for the flight.

Any time he says Pierce, take a sip.

ROMAN: Oh, you brought
your own? Super soaker?

- Yep.
- I got my own. Blaser.

I don't wanna get into a
dick-measuring competition,

but I have a better, more
powerful dick than you.

Which I'm sure isn't saying much.

LOGAN: Ken. You're with me.

Let's talk timetables.

I can't believe I'm
a... on a private plane.

It's like I'm in a band.

A very white, very wealthy...

band.

It's like I'm in U2.

Welcome to the inner-sanctum.

Yeah. Yeah, it's... it's nice.

Way nicer than the outer-sanctum.

Well, I hope you like
red wine and killing shit.

- ...about the...
- LOGAN: What...

What the fuck's the whispering?

GERRI: Oh, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)

Carolina has bad news,
I'm afraid. On the book.

The biography.

I told you to stop it.

GERRI: I know. I'm sorry.

We were very clear there'll
be no co-operation, but...

I don't want it to come out.

Okay... Got it.

Well, it... it will come out.

I can't actually, in this nation, yet,

uh, sadly, halt the
publication of a book.

Yeah, we can.

GERRI: Well, we can threaten and harass,

we can intimidate names

who might cooperate
and get a little dicey.

LOGAN: Everything.

The writer, Pantsil.

Can we not get her writing us
a movie for the next decade?

- Tooth comb her.
- Leave it with us.

LOGAN: Anyone who
speaks to her is fucked.

They're dead to me.

No one goes sniffing
round my fucking panties.

Well, I'm afraid that
what her friend has

suggests that she's met with
someone close to you already.

- Who?
- Well, we don't know.

But someone inside.

- Ken, is it you?
- Is it me?

Dad. (SCOFFS) Come on. Jesus.

Well, it's just, historically speaking,

when I'm betrayed, it's usually you.

Oh, I'm kidding, son.
I'm kidding. (CHUCKLES)

I can get Sam on it.

Go to IT, comb emails,
company phones. Yep.

Fuck!

Fucking rats.

Rats!

What's going on in there?

Uh, somebody's trying
to write Dad's biography.

Oh, sh... Okay.

I hadn't heard. That's...
That's interesting.

He's not a fan of the old,
uh, the old biographical, uh...

Yeah, he's not a fan.

And, uh, seems like somebody talked.

Okay.

That's bad.

So, yeah. Someone talked.
Someone inner-circle.

Sam over there will, uh, smoke 'em out,

and, uh, Dad's gonna chop them up

and throw them into the fucking Danube.

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Right.

Blue Danube no more.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

That's because... I'm
at a hunting lodge.

Pierce. We can start to push?

Well, that would be pushy.

Well, too slow is no defense.

Well, too fast and we spook 'em.

(MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

- This is just... Oh!
- Ah!

Mon dieu!

Nice, right?

Good for the morale.

- How's your morale?
- Great.

- We're very happy.
- LOGAN: Good.

I want my top minds on Pierce.

I'm gonna need some
meat in the sandwich.

Mm?

You can do that, top minds?

- GERRI: You got it.
- Yeah.

(GERRI SIGHS)

Good?

Good. Yeah.

- Here you go.
- Good, good, good. Great.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Hello.

Is this the right place
for the punishment beating?

Frank! How ya been? Come
here, you old bastard!

Come on!

(SIGHS, CHUCKLES) Oh,
Kendall, where's the thing?

Yeah.

I'm sorry we didn't get a chance
to speak at the wedding, but...

You must have cut me dead four times.

Ah, busy, busy, busy.

- Kendall, the thing. Oh.
- Yeah, here it is.

Frank.

- For you.
- What's this?

The back, the back.

(FRANK SIGHS)

"Some work of noble
note may yet be done,

not unbecoming men
who strove with gods."

That's nice. It's a nice thing.

You okay?

Sandy and Stewy have
got my nuts in a vice.

But Frank, you've got the
grease to slip them out.

- Right?
- Truly revolting image.

- Hey, Kenny.
- Good to see you, Frank.

ROMAN: Frank.

It's not been the same without you.

It's been better.

- I'm fucking with you.
- Okay.

I'm... I'm kidding, sir.

Gentlemen, time to change.

- Our safety briefing.
- Safety briefing?

Here's the safety briefing:

If you move against me,

I'll put a hole in the
back of your fucking head.

(BLENDER WHIRRING)

Connor?

Hey!

- SHIV: Hey!
- There you are.

- Here I am. Hi.
- Hi.

- What's this?
- Uh... You know.

Okay, thank you. Hey,
listen. Come with me.

I want you to meet my consultants.

(KEYS TYPING)

You know Eric Schulman
and Bud Henley, of course.

- They've joined the team.
- Wow, Eric.

- Hey.
- CONNOR ROY: Good guys.

- You saw the vid?
- Uh, yeah.

Hey, Connor...

Those are serious guys.
They're fuckin' pieces of shit.

Yep. They're my pieces of shit.

(CHUCKLES)

Willa's finishing up a
re-write. Would you like a drink?

- Uh, no. I'm good. Thanks.
- CONNOR: Okay.

What's, uh... What's in the smoothie?

Burgundy.

- I'm sorry?
- I hyper-decant.

You don't hyper-decant?

You're just doing regular decanting?

If by regular decanting you mean

pouring into my open mouth, yeah.

You should hyper-decant.

It softens the tannins.
Heightens the aromas.

You can age your wine
five years in ten seconds.

Truly.

- Mm-hmm.
- Connor...

You know what they do
to rich people in jail.

Yes, they let them out early

to mitigate the risk of litigation.

Going to jail is not a good look.

Not many campaign posters use mugshots.

The world has changed, Shiv.

The old shibboleths are crumbling.

And you know what?
The elites are scared.

I can see 'em down there,

a-scrabbling and reconfiguring,

with no clue what the whirlwind
they have stirred heralds.

Do you think that maybe
if you're looking down

on the elites from, like,
you know, this penthouse,

maybe it's indicative of something?

Smart.

My baby sister is smart, right?

- She is. Hey.
- SHIV: Hi.

- How are you?
- Uh, yeah. Connor,

don't release the video. Okay? Please?

(SIGHS) Why?

The family. We're worried
you're gonna humiliate us,

and humiliate yourself.

- CONNOR: Oh, okay. Dad?
- Yeah.

Dad wants to stop me.

Well, tell him to get in line
behind Bezos and the Clintons.

Connor, I'm asking a favor.

Please.

Well, how about I make counter-offer?

I'd like to make a
rather indecent proposal.

I'm g... (CHUCKLES) guessing
you haven't seen that film.

Ooh. He has. Yeah, it's his favorite.

I happen to know you're at a loose end.

Shiv, come and work for me.

Hmm? What? No.

(LAUGHS) No. No.

It's a big offer. Big.

Big offer, Shiv. You'd
run the whole shebang.

And look, if Gil fired
you, maybe you're, um,

- a difficult hire right now.
- He didn't fire me.

- I walked out.
- Okay.

- I... I...
- No. Okay.

So what would it take for
you to change your mind?

- A lobotomy.
- (CONNOR LAUGHS)

And a total realignment
of modern politics.

The... Connor, the video is batshit.

Okay.

I will consider with my team.

- Okay.
- CONNOR: Mm! Okay.

Guys, I need five.

I'll come back and we'll shoot the shit.

Hey, what's, uh...

(WHISPERS) What's your read on this?

Sorry, I... (STAMMERS) I, um...

I have to go. I'm meeting
my cast for drinks.

Oh, okay. That sounds fun.

Yeah. Yeah, I mean,

(CHUCKLES) it's basically
just a bunch of actors,

you know, bitching in a shitty bar.

- Uh-huh. Can I, uh...
- What?

You wanna come?

Well, yeah. You know,
I'd love an audience

with the future first lady.

(CHUCKLES) Okay. Yeah. Come on.

(GEESE HONKING)

- (DOG BARKING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- You okay there?
- Yeah.

(GROANS) This is nice.

Europe.

Nice bit of war-torn,

spooky,

anti-Semitic, vampirey,
authoritarian Europe.

Yeah.

Hey, Greg, it's good to see you, man.

You're spending so much time
hanging out with Kendall,

a girl could start to wonder.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

No. No. No.

Listen. Uh... So... Yeah,
c... can I ask you something?

On the... On the friend level?

Yeah. You worried about
what you did in Cruises?

What we did? No. No. Uh...

No. I was gonna ask
you about this Sam guy.

- Do you know him?
- Rat-fucker Sam? Yeah, sure.

You know he background-checked me

before I started dating Shiv?

Wow. Yeah. So, what's
his... (STAMMERS) Is he...

Like, what's his competency?

Is he... Is he nice?

Is he nice? You're asking
about the moral character

of a man named Rat-fucker Sam?

He is a fucking piece of
fucking shit, is what he is.

- Yeah. What's up, Greg?
- (GREG SIGHS)

We've been through a bit, right?

Can I trust you?

Yes. Of course you can trust me.

To a point, yes.

So, you know how Logan's mad

someone talked to his biographer?

- Greg.
- So...

I'm wondering how likely it is

that Sam will find
out the person emailed

- from a private email.
- Oh, fuck, man. Really?

I didn't even meet her.
I didn't... I pre-met her.

She... She tried to turn the
pre-meet into a meet-meet,

so I left.

Okay, well. (LAUGHS) Oh, my...

If you... If you tell Logan,

he might kill you.

- Mm.
- Okay,

so you need to put
that in the locker, man,

and don't tell anyone.

And pray that you can trust me,

'cause you just handed me
a valuable piece of capital.

Greg!

Buddy. Trust no one, ever.

Okay. Wise words.

- (WILLA LAUGHS)
- SHIV: No, not having me here,

just being out of... out of the desert.

- (WILLA LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.

Hey, can I ask you a favor, about Con?

Sure thing.

Could you maybe get him to
pump the brakes on that video?

- WILLA: Mm...
- And actually just the whole

wanting to be the leader
of the free world thing?

He does love a project. I...

Oh, yeah. No, I know, but...

I mean, you're smart. You're... worldly.

- You get it.
- Okay.

I mean, I thought it looked okay, but...

♪ ("MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE"
BY THE POLICE PLAYS) ♪

And you and Con, you're...
I mean, you're okay, right?

It's... This whole...

Sure. I mean, we support
each other's dreams.

His dream is the White House.

Mine is Broadway.

Uh-huh.

Well, you realize those
guys that he's got in there,

those are serious guys.

I mean, they'll suck
ten million from him,

and he won't even realize it's gone.

And how much is your play gonna cost?

WILLA: Mm-hmm.

Okay, I'll think about it.

- I will. Thank you, Shiv.
- Uh-huh.

- Willa.
- Hi! Good to see you.

And you. Hi. Chris.

Shiv.

WILLA: And you, Shiv?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Are you okay? You're
happy, calm, everything?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fuck, yeah.

I got everything I could want.

Great.

Cheers. (CHUCKLES)

- (GLASSES CLINK)
- Oh, hey.

_

KENDALL: You look good with a rifle.

(DOG BARKING)

How you doin', man?

Eh. You?

I think my guy's working for the boar.

Hey, so listen, I have a question.

- Mm-hmm?
- Between us,

did you get a call from that biographer?

I mean, yeah, obviously.
I'm the interesting one.

You?

Yeah.

Yeah.

- You thinking of talking to her?
- Uh...

I don't know.

Maybe.

What about you?

Uh, no. I mean...

If you're gonna talk to her,
I guess I have to talk to her,

just to correct your bullshit.

So why are you so into Pierce?

I just think we know news,
you know, stay in our lane.

Do you like it?

Oh, I fuckin' love it.

- (PHONE VIBRATING)
- Yeah, I mean,

synergies are great.

Exactly. Carnage and
layoffs, all that shit. Ooh.

Uh... Pardon me. This is private.

Hello.

You have Roman.

How are you?

Oh, yeah? And what would that be?

Great. Let's, uh...
Let's stay across that.

Mm-hmm. Thank you for the information.

Talk soon. Thanks for
letting me know. Bye.

Good news?

- Um, yeah, sure.
- Hey, come on, man.

What was that?

Just fuckin' leave it. It's
a PR thing. It was nothing.

Look at me.

I know you. Come on.
You're full of shit.

Well, I know you.

Why the fuck are you lying about Pierce?

HUNTER: We are ready
to do the drive now.

All right. Go on.

Let's go murder a terrified mammal.

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Okay.

We're such shitty hunters

that we're just shooting
piggies in a barrel.

Might as well just throw
a grenade at the pigs.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (HORN BLOWS)

- (GUNFIRE)
- (MEN SHOUTING)

(PIGS GRUNTING AND SQUEALING)

- (DOGS BARKING)
- (GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

- (WHISTLE BLOWS)
- (MEN SHOUTING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Hold on. Hold on.

Good.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Hey, listen, Karl.
- Yeah?

I was thinking I... It
would be nice to have a chat,

'cause I was... about a
possible cool move for you?

- Oh, right. Oh, Gerri?
- GERRI: Yeah?

Yeah. We... Uh, we wanted to have
a, uh... a chat with you, Tom.

- Yeah.
- Um...

I don't know how you feel about Pierce,

but a few of us were
having a few doubts.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Okay. Well, that's interesting.
That's... That's really smart.

Why don't you... Why don't you raise it?

Okay. Although we also
thought it could be good

- for you to talk to him?
- Yeah.

Okay. All right. Although...

wouldn't it be better if it came from

- old, trusted...
- Right.

- ...colleagues?
- That's smart.

Karl, that's interesting.
Should we do it?

That would be cool.

Um, it's not a big deal,
really, who actually says it.

I guess you are family,
and he does treat family

- differently.
- Yeah. No, sure.

Although, he did once call
me "The Cunt of Monte Cristo".

- (ALL LAUGH)
- That's... That was joshing.

In a way, that's a
testament to your closeness.

- In a way...
- He likes you, Tom.

He likes you. You're a
fine mind, articulate,

- strong leader.
- (SCOFFS) I'm articulate?

Oh, you're so kind, you know.

In fact, I'm so flattered,

I'll just fucking walk right
into the machine gun nest.

Also, I've spoken to Shiv

and I know she asked you to talk to him.

- You spoke to Shiv?
- And if you don't,

and she asks, yeah?

That's where heroes are
born, Tom. On the battlefield.

It's also commonly where
they're killed, Gerri.

KARL: We'll back you up.

Well, Logan, uh, look...

I hate to be a party
pooper, but I have poop.

The Pierce family
bank have called to say

the family got word that
you were on maneuvers.

It freaked them out. We
need to back right off.

This was supposed to be choreographed.

That's about as choreographed

as a dog getting
fucked on roller-skates.

Was there a leak?

It was cagey. It might
have been accidental.

No. No, no. This was no accident.

Someone's trying to fuck me.

Who knew? No one.

It's someone here.

I've got snakes in the fucking basket.

Do you want me to go down the list

- of other acquisition targets?
- No!

I want Pierce!

Get back to the city. Find another way.

Oh, some of these fuckers

are trying to kill
this. Fucking pygmies!

Fucking lice!

- ♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

LOGAN: How we all doing?

All havin' a nice time
on the company dollar?

Ah.

Gerri, you all right? You look tired.

Oh, no, I'm... I'm good, thanks.

Good. 'Cause I want the Pierce
pension options first thing.

Right, so... so I should probably go.

Stay. You know, we need to boost morale.

Okay, great. Yeah. I can feel it rising.

Oh, Logan? Just a... a heads
up. A fam... A family heads up,

just to... just to let you know

that in a moment I might say something,

but not to worry, 'cause it's not real.

Okay?

- Wh...
- Just, headline is

I'm gonna say something,
but disregard it.

I think that people think
of me as a kind of leader.

Because there was an issue
that they wanted raised,

but don't you be under the impression

that... that I'm against what
I'll say I'm against. Okay?

- Pierce.
- What?

Pierce. People are against it.

But that's because they're scared.

But they think of me as kind of brave,

which I would be if I needed
to be, but I don't, so...

Good.

LOGAN: A toast.

Uh, musicians?

- Pianissimo.
- ♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪

Uh...

To our top team.

ALL: Top team.

- Top team.
- LOGAN: Mm.

And again. And again.
Fill her up, fill her up.

Eat, everybody. Eat. And drink.

Come on now. It's a
party, isn't it? (CHUCKLES)

Come on. Hey! Ray, where you going?

To take a leak.

Uh, you know. We're
all sticking together.

If you need a leak, piss in a bucket.

I mean... (CHUCKLES) we're locking down.

It's all right. We're
all pals here. Yeah.

(LAUGHS) Right.

Jesus Christ, Ray. I'm
pullin' your pisser.

Put that bucket down,
you disgusting bastard.

Oh, my God.

Where do we find 'em?

Musicians! Thank you. Again.

- ♪ (MUSIC RESUMES) ♪
- Good. The food.

Sit, sit.

CHRIS: So what do you
do? Something important?

Uh, no. Nope.

Well, you will one day.

(SHIV LAUGHS)

Here's hopin'.

Uh, I gotta make a call.

Jealous boyfriend?

No.

Just a guy who works for me.

- Working on a Saturday?
- He better be.

Wow, sounds like you're riding him hard.

Well, maybe he likes it.

Are you flirting with me?

Your flirt got all over my pants.

I'll be right back.

Hey, Tom. Just checking
you talked to him.

Don't let me down, soldier.

Shiv? (CHUCKLES)

- It's, uh...
- (SHIV SIGHS)

Connor Roy, eldest son of media mogul,

- Logan Roy...
- SHIV: Oh, Jesus Christ.

...announced his
intention to go to prison,

rather than pay federal income tax

at the current level.

Hey. Connor Roy.

He looks cute, though.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

GREG: It tastes... I guess
boar tastes like chicken.

No! Boar is boar. Boar is piggy.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

TOM: Try that black...

- blood sausage...
- Come on, everyone.

We're supposed to be
having a nice time! Drink!

KARL: Tom. Now's the time, Tom.

- Oh, you think?
- Yeah.

LOGAN: Paid enough.

(LAUGHTER)

A toast. Uh... Oh, Frank. You wanna?

Oh. Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)

Uh... (LAUGHS) 'Scuse me.

- To old friends.
- Lovely. To old friends.

- (FRANK LAUGHS)
- Wow.

Why'd you come, Frank?

- W... Here?
- LOGAN: Mm-hmm.

- Because you invited me.
- LOGAN: Uh-huh.

Not on a recon for some
of your old stuck up pals?

Logan, we're old. I try
not to leave fences broken.

LOGAN: You're a fucking creep.

- Excuse me?
- LOGAN: Ah.

I mean you... you went for three jobs,

you didn't get any of them.

Your vineyard was a write-off.

And now your trophy girlfriend

is sucking some
waiter's dick in Palermo,

so now you've come crawling back,

like a fucking worm.

I'm actually kinda glad he's back now.

What's happening here?

Ken.

(WHISPERING) Talk to him, Tom. Now.

(WHISPERING) Fuck off.

Someone has spoken to Michelle Pantsil.

We've got rats on this ship.

And Pierce.

What's going on? Hmm?

Who's got my back?

Who's really behind me?

Anyone? Excuse me.
Anyone wanna own up? Hmm?

Anyone wanna rat out a rat?

Cyd?

Are you a rat?

No.

- How about you?
- (STAMMERS) No. I'm not.

Karl, you got something to tell me?

Um, such as?

Oh, I don't know, where
the local whorehouse is.

(KARL CHUCKLES)

Well, I don't know about that.

Does your old lady know about that?

Hmm, no.

Um, you know. Um...

She knows that I'm
something of a Libertine,

- but... Okay.
- Oh, is... is that a yes?

Sh... Should we get her on
the speaker phone and ask her?

Oh, come on. Logan,
please. What the fuck?

Everyone, phones on the table.

Company and private. Come
on. Phones on the table now.

GERRI: Is that really necessary?

I'm not even sure it's... it's legal

- to demand people...
- LOGAN: Yeah, well,

we're getting down to
brass fucking tacks.

Tom, did you and your
fragile ego talk to Pantsil?

No. No, sir.

No. Logan, why don't
we switch to strategy?

Oh, oh. Here's a strategy, Tom:

Why don't you pipe down
till you come and tell me

I've got a grandson coming?

Hmm? Or are you shooting blanks?

- Karl?
- KARL: Yeah?

Do you like the, uh, the Pierce deal?

I do. I do, yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

(LOGAN CHUCKLES) Bullshit.

Boar on the floor.

(KARL SCOFFS)

LOGAN: Hey!

- (CHUCKLES) Okay.
- It's a game.

In the corner, over there. Stand there.

- Go, go, go, go, go.
- (KARL LAUGHS)

All right. (SIGHS)

Tom?

- Me?
- Yeah.

- Uh, Pierce?
- Yeah.

Um...

Well, there's a lot
of... (CLEARS THROAT)

factors, and...

but yes. I personally...
I like it. I like it.

Boar on the floor over there.

Gerri, stand up.

Stand up!

Pierce?

Couldn't tell you. Couldn't
tell you. Don't know.

- Have you played it before?
- No!

Well, actually, I...

To be perfectly honest,
I've... I've had a few doubts.

LOGAN: Honesty.

You see, everybody? Do you see?

Honesty.

Greg, stand up.

Did you get any orders from my brother,

the fuckin' Conscience of the Prairies?

- Me?
- LOGAN: Yeah.

I... don't... Uh...

Yeah. I... 'Cause I... (STAMMERS)

I've had some doubts too.

Oh? Fucking doubter. Over there.

But the rules are that you're
spared if you tell the truth,

- and I just told you the truth!
- Oh, oh! There are rules?

- GREG: Right?
- Do you know something, Greg?

There are no fucking rules.
(WHISPERS) Over there.

GREG: Okay. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

(ROMAN CHUCKLES)

LOGAN: Roman!

I like it for real, Dad,

- I wanna help...
- Stand the fuck up.

Um, okay.

Kendall took a call from the biographer.

We all got a call, Rome.

Okay, yes, but you...
See, he seemed like

he wanted to actually talk to her.

To smoke you out for Dad.

What? Fuck you. Why'd
you get to smoke me out?

I was smokin' you out.

Why don't you tell us
about your mystery call?

The phone call?

Uh, yeah. It was Frank.

He meant to call you.

He wants to know if the plan to
overthrow Dad is still happening.

Someone spiked Pierce.

Which one of you boars did it?

- Tom!
- Yes?

Sit on the floor!

It's fun.

- Seriously?
- Yeah, it's a game!

- Boar on the floor!
- TOM: I really... I feel...

LOGAN: Get down!

Boar on the floor.

Boar on the floor.
Kendall, bring the troops.

ALL: (CHANTING) Boar on the floor.

- Get down!
- ALL: Boar on the floor.

- Greg! On the floor, boar.
- (CHANTING CONTINUES)

- Come on, Frank!
- (CHANTING CONTINUES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Why am I in this?

How the fuck would I know, Greg?

You think I have a rational
explanation for this?

Frank! Feed the
piggies, guests of honor!

That's it. Boar on the floor!

ALL: Boar on the floor!

Oink for your sausages,
piggies. Shh. Shh. Shh.

Oink for your sausages, piggies. Oink.

KARL: Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Oink for your sausage, Tom. Oink.
- Oink.

- LOGAN: No.
- (TOM SNORTING)

No half-hearted oink.

- I'm not doing it.
- KARL: Oink, oink, oink.

On the count of three,

the last piggy to eat
a sausage is the mole.

That doesn't seem like
a very good system...

Who spoke to Pantsil?

(WHISPERING) Please.

Hey!

Crawl in a circle and close your eyes.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Three...

Greg, oink.

(GREG SNORTS)

Two...

(GREG, TOM AND KARL
SNORTING AND OINKING)

One...

(CHEERING AND LAUGHING)

Eat the sausage, Tom!

- TOM: I got it!
- (JEERING)

(SHOUTING AND CLAMORING)

Take it out of his hand!

Come on.

Karl stole my sausage.

Too effing slow. I'll
get you your booby prize.

Eat up, piggies.

ROMAN: I believe he
said "Eat up, piggies."

I wanna see you little
piggy fucks eat. Eat it.

Indemnification, you fuckin' dummy.

Wh... You fucking
serious? How old are you?

Give me back my fucking phone.

- Huh? What are you hiding?
- What are you... Wh... Hiding?

Nothing. Give me back my fucking phone.

- What's your code?
- Are you fucking serious?

- Yeah. What's your...
- My code? Uh, my code is,

um, fuck you... What?

(KENDALL AND ROMAN ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

Okay, you got it. All right?
Happy? There's nothing in there.

Hey, do you wanna hit this?

It's actually just some
resin I left in the downpipe

- in the bowl, I'm afraid.
- Mm. Wow, yum. No.

- Uh, thank you.
- All right.

So, uh, no TV?

You a... You a laptop guy?

Nah, no screens.

No, uh... No news?

Oh, I don't follow the news.

No, these days, actually the real news

- comes from comedians.
- (CHUCKLES) Oh. Wow.

I'm not crazy to hear the
next thing you're gonna say.

Can I just kiss you?

Uh, full disclosure,
I am in a relationship,

but it's an open relationship.

It sounds bohemian and complicated,

but actually it's pretty simple.

You, um... Wow. Do you
have any, uh, questions?

- Um, I don't think so.
- Great.

Mm.

(CHUCKLES)

(SHOUTING AND LAUGHING)

- Hey, I'm sorry.
- ROMAN: Give me my phone.

Give me my fucking phone.

You're... Grab my...
You like touching me?

Grab my fucking balls, I
will drop you, cocksucker.

Yeah, you see a phone number, so what?

LOGAN: All must have prizes.

What's in there? What's the prize?

Hey, Dad?

It was Roman. Roman talked to Pierce.

He, uh, took a call from Naomi Pierce.

Dad.

Roman, did someone get at you?

Dad, I didn't betray you.

Then what's this call from today?

- Why are you talking to her?
- Come on, man.

I wasn't trying to fuck the deal,

I was trying to land the deal.

I was trying to help. I...

I thought it would be a nice surprise.

Roman...

you're a moron.

Boar on the floor?

- I'm just saying.
- Fuck you.

I'm not a moron, Dad.

(LOGAN SIGHS)

How much is a gallon of milk?

What?

- How much is a gallon of milk?
- I don't know.

I mean, who the fuck knows,
Dad? Literally no one knows.

- Who gives a shit?
- LOGAN: Ray!

How much is a gallon
of milk? Uh-Uh, wh...

I mean, like regular milk, or, uh...

I am surrounded by
snakes and fucking morons.

You're a bunch of silk-stocking fucks!

Who backs me on Pierce?

Hmm?

Who?

KENDALL: None of them do, Dad.

They're all against it.

Okay? Karl's lying,

Ray's lying, Gerri's playing both sides.

(SIGHS) Well...

(CHUCKLES)

Here's news. We are going after it.

And what's more...

I will win.

Hey, morning.

How you doing'? Quite a night.
I don't know about you guys,

but I had one too many.
I can't remember anything.

(CHUCKLES)

Morning, Tom.

- Sausage?
- No, thank you.

- I'll eat your sausage, Tom.
- I'm sure you will, Cyd.

What you were expecting?

Not really.

He said he offered you your job back.

Yeah.

I'm considering.

Why?

I need money to pay someone
to kill a guy in Palermo.

Baby needs shoes, moth to a flame...

(SIGHS) I don't know.

Hey.

Hey.

Morning, morning. Morning.

- Coffee?
- Nah. The usual.

(SIGHS)

Come, join me.

I'm, uh, sorry if last night
got a little bit fruity.

(CHUCKLES) But, you know...

jet-lag, meds, horseplay, right? Right?

The jet-lag...

Mm-hmm. I get the same way.

I just heard who Michelle
Pantsil talked to.

It was Mo.

Piece of shit!

I also talked to Maria.
Mo passed away last night.

What?

Mo now?

Jesus.

Uh...

Give Maria my, um...

uh, condolences. I...

I... In fact, send Sam
over. Let's crack his email.

I want to know what the
fuck he's been saying.

Mo, hmm.

- (CLEARS THROAT) Hey, Greg.
- Hey, Tom.

(LOGAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(WHISPERING) Thanks, man.

ROMAN: No... Uh, thank
you. I can do that. Thanks.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

- Um...
- They... They're waiting for you.

- ROMAN: So?
- So, hurry up.

So Frank's my fucking babysitter again.

(GERRI LAUGHS)

Dad is killing me. He's
cutting my fucking balls off.

I can't do my buttons.

Are they fucking made of soap?

Come here.

You know, if I were capable
of any sudden movement,

I would totally pounce on you right now.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

I actually hear that a lot.

Usually from men in their nineties.

You have to do that one. (CLEARS THROAT)

How are you doing?

Terrible.

Pretty... awful.

GERRI: Mm-hmm.

I'm blaming Tabitha, by the way.

It was her idea.

Next time you need business advice,

ask someone who knows
what they're talking about.

- What, you?
- Yeah. Like me.

Okay. Well, how do I get
him to take me seriously?

Grow a moustache and read the Journal?

I'll fuckin' do it.

Okay, Roman, if you wanna know...

Mm-hmm.

...do the management training
program, ground floor.

Work at a slaughterhouse.

Learn the price of a gallon of milk.

What the fuck is his
obsession with milk?

You know who drinks milk?
Kittens and perverts.

FRANK: Hey, Logan.

Pierce's CEO, Rhea Jarrell,

emailed saying she heard
about your approach.

She can help us.

So... can you bring me
her head on a platter?

I can bring you her head

attached to the rest of her body.

Good.

Even better.

KENDALL: Good work, Frank.

Great.

SHIV: Hey.

How was it?

It was pretty, uh...

- pretty tough... actually, yeah.
- Yeah?

Anybody fill you in?

Uh, no. Wh... What happened?

Um, your dad was a little peppery.

Oh. I'm sorry, Tom.

Maybe it wasn't totally
great what you sent me to do.

Which is kind of the opposite
of what I wanted to do.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

I mean...

- we're a team, right?
- Yeah.

But I... I don't wanna be a dick,

but maybe I should have a bit more input

into team tactics.

Yeah. Sure. Of course.

Thanks.

So, how was your weekend?

- SHIV: Me?
- Yeah. Anything to report?

Uh...

Yeah. Okay.

Do you want to know?

Oh.

I don't... maybe later.

Come here.

(BOTH KISSING)

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, Dad.

LOGAN: Hello, Pinkie.

Sorry I missed your call.

Had a lot to deal with.

Termites in the woodwork. Insurgents.

Oh, yeah?

Coming from where?

Oh, front row, cheap
seats, every-fucking-where.

SHIV: Not from me.

What are you doing at the moment?

- I'm free.
- LOGAN: We'll set a date.

It's time to bring you in.

- Corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪