Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,640
Give me your buses,
I'll give you my knowledge.
2
00:00:02,641 --> 00:00:05,340
You're a difficult woman
to turn down, Aunty Brenda.
3
00:00:05,411 --> 00:00:07,330
He's very keen
to put things right, Zoe.
4
00:00:07,331 --> 00:00:11,111
You're wasting your time.
I've got you a visitor's pass.
5
00:00:11,151 --> 00:00:14,151
We have been nominated
for salon of the year.
6
00:00:14,211 --> 00:00:17,711
Awards will take place next week.
Oh, get over yourself, man.
7
00:00:17,911 --> 00:00:21,197
It's like living in some drug-induced
production of Under Milk Wood.
8
00:00:21,197 --> 00:00:46,432
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
9
00:00:54,371 --> 00:00:59,650
A subcutaneous injection is
administered where on the anatomy?
10
00:00:59,651 --> 00:01:01,631
I know this one, I do.
11
00:01:01,731 --> 00:01:04,451
Yeah, well, you're not meant to,
it's my test!
12
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:06,731
Just below the epidermis.
13
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:13,891
Oh, my God. You're right.
14
00:01:14,091 --> 00:01:15,941
When'd you turn into House MD?
15
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,191
That's Nadine
and Blubber Busters, that is.
16
00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:20,511
According to her,
body knowledge is power.
17
00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:23,810
If you don't know what's what,
you dunno which bit's getting fat.
18
00:01:23,811 --> 00:01:26,391
Glad you're joining though, Stel.
19
00:01:26,411 --> 00:01:28,191
You might actually like it.
No, I won't.
20
00:01:28,491 --> 00:01:31,331
Not with Nadine-bloody-Bevan
barking orders at me.
21
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:35,421
Ah, she's only there to help. And you did
say you were worried about getting fat.
22
00:01:35,422 --> 00:01:38,991
Yeah, cos of the HRT,
not because of biscuits and burgers.
23
00:01:38,992 --> 00:01:41,171
You do realise
how mental it is, Alan?
24
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,290
Me hormones messed with.
25
00:01:43,291 --> 00:01:47,371
I'm turning into a dirty old woman,
lusting after every fella I see.
26
00:01:48,771 --> 00:01:51,051
Well, not you, obviously.
27
00:01:56,631 --> 00:01:58,851
Right.
28
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,890
Cheers for the lift, Al.
29
00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:02,690
Really kind of you.
30
00:02:02,691 --> 00:02:04,751
No probs.
31
00:02:04,771 --> 00:02:07,331
Let's just call it two pound.
Mate's rates, is it?
32
00:02:11,911 --> 00:02:15,270
Hey, What's my brief doing here?
Jan! Jan!
33
00:02:15,271 --> 00:02:17,890
Jan!
Jan, her name is.
34
00:02:17,891 --> 00:02:20,231
You don't say.
Ah, she's good as gold.
35
00:02:20,232 --> 00:02:22,690
Jan!
Moving in, are you?
36
00:02:22,691 --> 00:02:25,071
Sorry... do I know you?
37
00:02:26,051 --> 00:02:28,851
Alan Williams... I'm your client.
38
00:02:28,931 --> 00:02:31,010
Oh... of course. Er... no.
39
00:02:31,011 --> 00:02:34,211
Katie's just spending a few
days in her father's new place.
40
00:02:34,311 --> 00:02:36,130
They like to have their stuff,
don't they?
41
00:02:36,131 --> 00:02:38,831
Hey, you never told me
he moved in next door.
42
00:02:38,851 --> 00:02:41,371
He's really annoying.
Guess what his name is?
43
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,731
Michael Jackson.
Yeah. Michael Jackson!
44
00:02:46,691 --> 00:02:50,571
Very angry man. Bit of a hottie,
mind you, I'll give him that.
45
00:02:53,571 --> 00:02:55,971
Toodle pip.
See you.
46
00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:59,551
Hiya. I'm Stella.
Oh, hi.
47
00:03:00,611 --> 00:03:02,530
Wow. Starting a library, are you?
48
00:03:02,531 --> 00:03:04,551
GCSEs in a few weeks, lucky me.
49
00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:07,270
Oh, she'll be fine.
She always is.
50
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,490
Here's my pride and joy.
51
00:03:09,491 --> 00:03:13,570
This is Ben. Ben's been grounded
for two years. Mam!
52
00:03:13,571 --> 00:03:16,031
Grounded for what?
Nothing - Smoking.
53
00:03:16,131 --> 00:03:18,491
Yuck. Smoking's for morons.
54
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,571
That's grunt, that is,
for 'whatever'.
55
00:03:21,751 --> 00:03:23,531
I speak it fluently these days.
56
00:03:23,532 --> 00:03:27,141
Right, is that everything?
Anyway, nice meeting you.
57
00:03:27,142 --> 00:03:29,231
Right, well, I'll be off.
Bye, darling. Bye.
58
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:32,451
That's right, off you go.
In your lovely big car.
59
00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,951
She used to be mine.
60
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:42,631
You made me look a right div
in front of that girl.
61
00:03:42,632 --> 00:03:44,631
I'm going to my room.
62
00:03:44,651 --> 00:03:46,851
Do not disturb me.
With pleasure.
63
00:03:47,051 --> 00:03:49,851
And don't you disturb me neither,
because I've got revision.
64
00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,531
Hiya, presh. Ha, ha.
65
00:03:55,991 --> 00:03:59,031
Is it me, or did Ben actually
used to be a nice little boy?
66
00:03:59,032 --> 00:04:01,250
Nah. He's never been nice.
67
00:04:01,251 --> 00:04:03,611
Hm. Any luck down the job centre?
68
00:04:03,631 --> 00:04:06,370
No.
69
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:10,470
Right. Well, if you need me,
I'll be revising.
70
00:04:10,471 --> 00:04:12,531
If you need me, I'll be smoking.
71
00:04:22,691 --> 00:04:25,671
Hi. I'd like to book
a prison visit, please.
72
00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:28,791
For tomorrow?
73
00:04:30,051 --> 00:04:31,811
Yeah, to see Lenny Mack.
74
00:05:23,371 --> 00:05:25,611
Yes!
75
00:05:35,971 --> 00:05:39,010
Purple and black.
76
00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:41,351
Please tell me you're joking.
77
00:05:41,411 --> 00:05:43,170
You're useless
when it comes to decorating.
78
00:05:43,171 --> 00:05:45,371
I'll get a decorator...
79
00:05:54,851 --> 00:05:57,890
Loser.
Oi! How did you get there?
80
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,130
Got my own little VIP exit, ain't I?
81
00:06:00,131 --> 00:06:03,011
Through next door's attic.
Been using it for a few weeks.
82
00:06:03,191 --> 00:06:05,351
Bit tricky now
the posh bloke's moved in, like.
83
00:06:05,411 --> 00:06:07,411
But old Benny-boy, slick!
84
00:06:07,491 --> 00:06:10,211
What are you talking weird for?
Ugh... Yo, Ben!
85
00:06:12,131 --> 00:06:14,211
You coming?
86
00:06:14,411 --> 00:06:16,171
Nah.
Suit yourself.
87
00:06:19,071 --> 00:06:21,251
Boys.
S'up, bro?
88
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,731
Well... can you use the hook
to change gear?
89
00:06:33,911 --> 00:06:37,090
Well, then he'll be fine then.
Tell him midday sharp.
90
00:06:37,091 --> 00:06:39,851
I'm expecting a lot
of supply and demand. Ta-ra.
91
00:06:39,852 --> 00:06:43,111
Oh. Auntie Bren.
This thing hasn't stopped.
92
00:06:43,151 --> 00:06:47,971
I've got the what-d'ya-call-it
tommorrow, recruitment doo-dah. And you know I'm looking for work?
93
00:06:48,151 --> 00:06:51,230
I know, kid.
94
00:06:51,231 --> 00:06:53,411
What has your life become, uh?
95
00:06:53,531 --> 00:06:55,390
No job, living in sin.
96
00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:58,711
Even your own father
has abandoned you... twice -
97
00:06:58,712 --> 00:07:00,451
Anyway...
98
00:07:00,631 --> 00:07:03,710
I was thinking... I'm a good driver,
99
00:07:03,711 --> 00:07:06,871
over 25, what do you reckon
to me working for Brenda's Buses?
100
00:07:08,931 --> 00:07:10,850
I reckon it could work.
101
00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:12,711
You're family after all,
102
00:07:12,771 --> 00:07:16,930
and in my book
family means everything.
103
00:07:16,931 --> 00:07:20,451
Thanks. Turn up tomorrow,
let's give it a whirl.
104
00:07:20,651 --> 00:07:22,371
You deserve it if anyone does.
105
00:07:22,571 --> 00:07:26,371
Ah... one thing.
The insurance might be an issue
106
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,870
cos of my er... background.
107
00:07:28,871 --> 00:07:32,410
Don't you worry
about the insurance, good boy!
108
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:35,910
Me and Mandy at Berry Claims
claims are like that!
109
00:07:35,911 --> 00:07:38,391
Nice one!
110
00:07:51,491 --> 00:07:55,171
Oh, yeah. you want
to slide down my pole, don't you?
111
00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:03,671
You're so hot. You're on fire.
112
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,690
Mum?
113
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,411
What? I'm revising.
114
00:08:13,611 --> 00:08:15,491
OK, I'll tell you later.
115
00:08:19,891 --> 00:08:23,671
It's a bit... bare.
116
00:08:23,691 --> 00:08:26,211
Well... don't worry, I will sort it.
117
00:08:26,411 --> 00:08:28,381
I'll get this curtain pole
up in no time.
118
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:31,831
I did actually manage to keep
the drill in the divorce, so...
119
00:09:02,571 --> 00:09:04,711
Oh, for God's sake.
120
00:09:17,131 --> 00:09:18,371
It's on hammer mode.
121
00:09:18,571 --> 00:09:21,211
I'll get that.
122
00:09:21,251 --> 00:09:24,771
You make us some coffee.
123
00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:26,391
All right! All Right, I'm coming!
124
00:09:29,731 --> 00:09:32,951
Look, I know you've got anger issues,
my friend told me.
125
00:09:32,952 --> 00:09:34,661
But I just want a bit of -
What friend?
126
00:09:34,662 --> 00:09:37,410
One minute it's your music,
next it's your bloody drill!
127
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,291
I could report you to the council
for noise pollution!
128
00:09:40,471 --> 00:09:43,591
Yeah? Well, go on then. Because
if you report me, I'll report you.
129
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:47,070
Who to?
Environmental health.
130
00:09:47,071 --> 00:09:49,730
By my calculation,
there are at least four adults,
131
00:09:49,731 --> 00:09:51,970
three children and a dog
inhabiting your home.
132
00:09:51,971 --> 00:09:54,371
It's like living next door
to a bloody refugee camp!
133
00:10:00,786 --> 00:10:03,040
Hey, hey, hey! Calm down.
134
00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:05,931
You told me
that you could sink my father
135
00:10:05,961 --> 00:10:08,139
a week Tuesday gone, Bobby Giffins.
136
00:10:08,217 --> 00:10:10,777
And we still haven't sunk him yet.
Disgusting.
137
00:10:10,857 --> 00:10:13,496
Actually, boys, I think you'll find
138
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:15,416
I said that date
might have to be... flexible.
139
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:17,757
You're nine days over!
140
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,696
Any more flexible
and she'll be doing backflips!
141
00:10:20,697 --> 00:10:24,497
Yes, thank you, George!
Quite why you're here, I don't know.
142
00:10:24,537 --> 00:10:27,897
We buried your Aunt Beryl fair
and square last week, as I recall.
143
00:10:27,997 --> 00:10:30,136
Crem'ed her. Aye.
144
00:10:30,137 --> 00:10:33,177
And we're still waiting for
the ashes. Now, where is she?
145
00:10:33,357 --> 00:10:36,296
Is that the office telephone?
146
00:10:36,297 --> 00:10:38,456
Don't worry, I'll get it.
147
00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:42,416
You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Now, where is she?
148
00:10:42,417 --> 00:10:44,477
Here you go.
149
00:10:45,317 --> 00:10:48,397
Clean bum and everything.
Excellent.
150
00:10:48,557 --> 00:10:51,417
He'll be wanting his bunny rabbit.
Oh, special delivery.
151
00:10:51,537 --> 00:10:54,777
God, hope's it's not another
final demand for the electric.
152
00:10:54,957 --> 00:10:57,297
I swear those quarters
come round every three months.
153
00:10:57,317 --> 00:10:59,337
No, it's for you, Em.
154
00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:01,937
Mm.
You going Blubber Busters tonight?
155
00:11:01,977 --> 00:11:04,657
Yeah. Why else do you think
I'm having no breakfast?
156
00:11:04,697 --> 00:11:07,417
I'm on a diet today.
What for? Why?
157
00:11:07,617 --> 00:11:09,977
Well, cos it's
the hairdressing awards and that.
158
00:11:10,117 --> 00:11:12,317
Jen's says we're up
for salon of the year.
159
00:11:12,377 --> 00:11:14,297
And I want to look
nice and thin in my dress.
160
00:11:14,497 --> 00:11:16,856
Thin is not nice, Emma.
Svelte is nice.
161
00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:20,077
Mm. That's what
I'm aiming for, svelte.
162
00:11:20,997 --> 00:11:24,277
And lithe.
Everything all right, Em?
163
00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:27,957
It's my decree absolute.
164
00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:29,817
Me and Sunil...
165
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:34,057
Well, it's in now.
166
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:36,557
Proper full-on divorce.
167
00:11:42,817 --> 00:11:44,677
I'm going to work.
168
00:11:44,697 --> 00:11:47,437
Listen, don't - Emma, please -
It's fine.
169
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,737
Wish I never got married
in the first place.
170
00:12:23,257 --> 00:12:24,937
Daddy?
171
00:12:25,017 --> 00:12:27,416
Excuse these.
Nobody knows how hard it is
172
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:29,517
to maintain a demi-wave like mine.
173
00:12:31,577 --> 00:12:33,697
You'd better come in.
174
00:12:38,477 --> 00:12:40,357
Come on, you piece of shit.
175
00:12:57,217 --> 00:13:01,057
Oh, bollocks.
Oh, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks!
176
00:13:01,977 --> 00:13:03,897
Bollocks!
177
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:21,577
How comes you've got so many
dead bodies... covered in muslims?
178
00:13:23,097 --> 00:13:25,016
It's mus-lin.
179
00:13:25,017 --> 00:13:27,737
And that's Lanky Susan,
for your information.
180
00:13:27,837 --> 00:13:31,197
Pontyberry's
foremost netball player. As was.
181
00:13:31,257 --> 00:13:33,217
We're awaiting an extra-long casket.
182
00:13:33,218 --> 00:13:35,977
What about him, then?
183
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:38,117
Look, all I came to say was
184
00:13:38,316 --> 00:13:39,917
maybe I could lighten
your load a little.
185
00:13:39,918 --> 00:13:42,996
You? Lighten my load?!
186
00:13:42,997 --> 00:13:46,977
Over my dead bodies.
187
00:13:49,657 --> 00:13:52,376
Don't say I never tried.
188
00:13:52,377 --> 00:13:55,437
Oh, God!
189
00:14:14,457 --> 00:14:16,616
Exquisite, isn't she?
190
00:14:16,617 --> 00:14:18,777
I wouldn't go as far as to say -
191
00:14:18,778 --> 00:14:20,696
It's genuine silver finish
on this thing.
192
00:14:20,697 --> 00:14:24,536
It's not going to be genuine silver, is it?
That'd make the cost prohibitive.
193
00:14:24,537 --> 00:14:26,197
When I say genuine silver,
Mr Jackson,
194
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:28,217
I mean genuine silver colour.
195
00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:31,417
Don't want you suing me for
mis-selling a vehicle now, do I?
196
00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:36,376
Still, I can see
you're taken by her.
197
00:14:36,377 --> 00:14:38,737
Go on, touch her.
198
00:14:38,757 --> 00:14:40,397
Feel her curves.
199
00:14:41,477 --> 00:14:43,336
Um... I dunno.
200
00:14:43,337 --> 00:14:46,937
To be honest, I really do have
a preference for German engineering.
201
00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,656
Why didn't you say so, son?
There's a German engine in this.
202
00:14:49,657 --> 00:14:53,336
And the exhaust pipe and tail lights
came off a VW, come to think of it.
203
00:14:53,337 --> 00:14:55,217
So, she's practically pure Aryan.
204
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,857
Hey, Mikey.
205
00:15:22,137 --> 00:15:24,517
That's a... nice touch.
206
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:27,177
Very eco-warrior.
207
00:15:43,417 --> 00:15:46,357
Taxi for Baxton?
I'd like to see your badge, please.
208
00:15:46,457 --> 00:15:49,496
For all I know, you might be
one of them illegal minicab rapists.
209
00:15:49,497 --> 00:15:52,376
Or a conman.
But you booked me.
210
00:15:52,377 --> 00:15:54,377
Right, well, I'll take
your word for it then.
211
00:15:54,657 --> 00:15:56,837
3 Millers Close, please.
212
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,917
And don't take the bypass,
cos it's longer, not shorter.
213
00:16:00,077 --> 00:16:02,937
I've timed it. There's a
?1.50 difference on the fare.
214
00:16:15,897 --> 00:16:18,297
Can't beat a bit of Spandau,
can you, eh?
215
00:16:19,417 --> 00:16:22,957
Reminds me of when I had more years
in front of me than behind.
216
00:16:22,958 --> 00:16:25,017
And hair.
217
00:16:29,337 --> 00:16:31,497
Doing anything nice today?
218
00:16:32,697 --> 00:16:34,617
Not really, no.
219
00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:36,697
I'm off at Brenda's Buses, I am.
220
00:16:36,797 --> 00:16:38,456
Recruitment day.
221
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:42,267
I like the taxis, don't get me wrong,
but I like a bit of variation -
222
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,697
For goodness sake,
will you stop blathering?
223
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:46,817
I'm paying you to drive, not drivel.
224
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:55,187
But I got nowhere to put them!
225
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,817
Oh, please, boys,
give me a chance!
226
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,057
No.
No returns. Refunds.
227
00:17:00,157 --> 00:17:03,396
Cashback.
Vouchers. Or air miles.
228
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,297
It's not -
They're bin 'ems, I know.
229
00:17:05,337 --> 00:17:08,277
But I can't bury them if I haven't
got the man-power to do it!
230
00:17:08,377 --> 00:17:11,096
Hold on! People can hear you
all over the hospital.
231
00:17:11,097 --> 00:17:13,976
Stella?
Morris. All right, boys?
232
00:17:13,977 --> 00:17:17,377
Thank God you're here.
They won't take this lot back.
233
00:17:18,257 --> 00:17:20,216
I'm inundated. Overwhelmed.
234
00:17:20,217 --> 00:17:22,417
It's like land of the dead
back at Simpsons.
235
00:17:22,437 --> 00:17:25,917
Daddy nearly broke a hip falling
over lanky Susan from Iceland!
236
00:17:25,918 --> 00:17:27,737
All right. Calm down a minute.
237
00:17:27,917 --> 00:17:30,297
Barry, Reese, ain't there
nothing you can do?
238
00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:39,077
OK. Er... no.
239
00:17:39,097 --> 00:17:41,977
You gotta keep up. We had a...
..deal.
240
00:17:42,157 --> 00:17:44,216
But I can't!
241
00:17:44,217 --> 00:17:46,457
I...I got no room!
242
00:17:46,557 --> 00:17:49,017
God, I can't cope!
243
00:17:49,097 --> 00:17:51,416
Bobs, man!
244
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:54,396
I'm sorry, he's just very -
245
00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:56,457
Hungry?
Childish. Tall?
246
00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:14,257
There you go.
Thanks. Keep the change.
247
00:18:14,297 --> 00:18:16,497
Really?
248
00:18:16,537 --> 00:18:19,257
You put your foot down.
I admire that in a cabbie.
249
00:18:19,258 --> 00:18:21,517
Now watch my planters
when you turn around.
250
00:18:23,177 --> 00:18:25,017
Oh, hey...
251
00:18:25,097 --> 00:18:27,577
Hang on, you left your...
252
00:19:13,497 --> 00:19:15,636
It's my resignation, it is.
253
00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:18,337
Sorry it's on lavender paper.
I've run out of lined.
254
00:19:18,338 --> 00:19:21,397
No, it's no use!
255
00:19:21,497 --> 00:19:24,056
I've buggered this up
by taking too much on.
256
00:19:24,057 --> 00:19:27,097
So, it's time I fell
on my sword for Simpsons.
257
00:19:28,177 --> 00:19:30,777
'Tis a far, far better thing
I d-do today.
258
00:19:30,977 --> 00:19:32,497
Than I have ever d-done before.
259
00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:37,197
Jackie Collins, Hollywood Wives.
260
00:19:40,457 --> 00:19:42,137
Too late!
261
00:19:42,337 --> 00:19:43,796
I'm gone.
262
00:19:43,797 --> 00:19:46,457
And let that be an end to it.
All told.
263
00:19:56,889 --> 00:19:59,269
Sold a Vauxhall Vectra this morning.
264
00:19:59,519 --> 00:20:01,399
To the Michael Jackson.
265
00:20:01,499 --> 00:20:03,579
Not the dead singer.
266
00:20:03,779 --> 00:20:05,658
A solicitor, he is.
So?
267
00:20:05,659 --> 00:20:08,039
So, he's a proper legit
professional, he is.
268
00:20:08,159 --> 00:20:11,439
Like Judge John Deed, or Bergerac.
269
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,959
Who's Begerac?
Right, listen up, everybody!
270
00:20:16,059 --> 00:20:17,939
Tom Evans.
Yeah.
271
00:20:17,979 --> 00:20:19,899
Marley Evans.
Yeah.
272
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:21,819
Peter Evans.
Yeah.
273
00:20:21,999 --> 00:20:24,079
Luke Morgan.
Here. Yanto Beet.
274
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,179
Yanto Beet?
275
00:20:29,299 --> 00:20:31,738
Oi! Are you here then, or what?
276
00:20:31,739 --> 00:20:34,618
I came with you, Auntie Brenda!
That don't buy you privileges.
277
00:20:34,619 --> 00:20:37,979
Or extra biscuits.
You've had your allotted one.
278
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:40,859
I thought I made that clear.
One biscuit per person.
279
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:44,099
Aye. I haven't had none.
I'm on a diet. Can I have yours?
280
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:47,419
No!
I'm not late, am I? Yes.
281
00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:50,078
All right, everybody shut up,
282
00:20:50,079 --> 00:20:52,019
and get in the cabin.
283
00:20:58,179 --> 00:21:01,179
Fun lunch?
Mm. Tell me about it.
284
00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,418
All right, Jack?
Hi.
285
00:21:03,419 --> 00:21:06,019
Sorry about this morning.
Emma going off like that.
286
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:07,739
No, that's fine, Stella.
287
00:21:07,839 --> 00:21:10,339
Divorce is a very tender subject.
Mm.
288
00:21:10,340 --> 00:21:12,058
Much like fox-hunting.
289
00:21:12,059 --> 00:21:14,339
And botox.
290
00:21:15,659 --> 00:21:19,119
Anyway. Have you got any bananas?
Only I couldn't see any out there.
291
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:23,099
There's plenty. They must
be hiding on you, the bastards.
292
00:21:26,839 --> 00:21:28,639
Come on.
293
00:21:29,659 --> 00:21:32,158
And so, today is all about
294
00:21:32,159 --> 00:21:33,918
helping us to help you -
295
00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:37,659
Basically, there's gonna be a load
of tests, fail 'em and you're out.
296
00:21:37,859 --> 00:21:39,919
Now, my daughter Vivian by here
297
00:21:39,939 --> 00:21:43,299
is gonna be the guinea pig passenger.
God help us.
298
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,018
And as senior partner,
299
00:21:45,019 --> 00:21:47,739
the final decision
will of course lay with me.
300
00:21:47,939 --> 00:21:50,619
Or me. Right, let's get started.
301
00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:52,579
Or me.
302
00:21:53,339 --> 00:21:57,658
Argh. I could've sworn
we had some left!
303
00:21:57,659 --> 00:21:59,099
It's all right. I'll leave it.
304
00:21:59,159 --> 00:22:01,978
Between you and me,
I think Tanisha eats them all.
305
00:22:01,979 --> 00:22:03,419
Don't tell Uncle Jag I said so.
306
00:22:06,179 --> 00:22:07,999
Oh, ha-ha!
307
00:22:08,059 --> 00:22:09,979
Oh, I knew it!
308
00:22:12,019 --> 00:22:16,059
They're ex-display,
but they'll do the job. Thanks.
309
00:22:16,959 --> 00:22:19,738
Are those your last ones?
'Fraid so.
310
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:23,719
The lady has beaten you to it.
Take them. they're ex-display.
311
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,649
No, no, it's fine.
I'll have an apple.
312
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:28,219
No, I'm not having you
accusing me of being greedy.
313
00:22:28,319 --> 00:22:31,479
I've changed my mind, I don't
want a banana - Oh, for god's sake.
314
00:22:36,999 --> 00:22:40,699
Now... we're all happy.
Aren't we?
315
00:22:43,699 --> 00:22:47,589
Visiting will end in five minutes.
You're looking so beautiful, Zo.
316
00:22:47,590 --> 00:22:49,659
What do you want, Len?
A second chance?
317
00:22:51,599 --> 00:22:53,399
Not with you. With Jack.
318
00:22:53,499 --> 00:22:55,679
I know what I've done was stupid...
319
00:22:55,719 --> 00:22:58,138
I...was a total... idiot.
320
00:22:58,139 --> 00:23:02,299
Don't give me the "I've changed"
bullshit. No, course not. But...
321
00:23:04,779 --> 00:23:06,679
Listen. I...
322
00:23:07,579 --> 00:23:10,959
I just want to see my son
before he gets too old and...
323
00:23:10,979 --> 00:23:14,259
he forgets who I am.
But I want him to forget you, Len.
324
00:23:14,299 --> 00:23:16,239
When were you ever a proper dad?
325
00:23:17,339 --> 00:23:20,218
You don't deserve him.
I know.
326
00:23:20,219 --> 00:23:23,559
Luke's his proper dad now,
I suppose.
327
00:23:25,039 --> 00:23:27,899
Yeah. I'm just the donkey
who pratted about with him.
328
00:23:31,579 --> 00:23:33,859
Made the little fella
laugh though, didn't I?
329
00:23:35,339 --> 00:23:37,139
Sometimes.
330
00:23:37,179 --> 00:23:39,279
I've done this for him.
331
00:23:42,739 --> 00:23:44,699
It's a bed-time story.
332
00:23:47,979 --> 00:23:50,998
And you're going along,
you're going along,
333
00:23:50,999 --> 00:23:53,818
you're going along,
334
00:23:53,819 --> 00:23:57,178
you're going along...
and sharp right bend on the road!
335
00:23:57,179 --> 00:23:59,098
Too fast!
336
00:23:59,099 --> 00:24:02,899
Where's the 'orn on here?
Never mind the 'orn! Slow down, man!
337
00:24:02,919 --> 00:24:05,199
All right.
Alan Williams, let's have you.
338
00:24:11,799 --> 00:24:14,459
Just in case.
Thanks.
339
00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:21,178
And you're
going along, nice easy speed.
340
00:24:21,179 --> 00:24:24,218
Picking up momentum,
you're going along,
341
00:24:24,219 --> 00:24:27,539
you're going along...
and bang! Emergency stop.
342
00:24:27,559 --> 00:24:31,698
Hang on. I wasn't
expecting no emergency stop.
343
00:24:31,699 --> 00:24:33,658
That's why it's called
an emergency stop.
344
00:24:33,659 --> 00:24:36,538
And look what would've happened
to your passenger!
345
00:24:36,539 --> 00:24:38,779
Tossed on the ground
like a useless ragdoll.
346
00:24:38,979 --> 00:24:41,019
All right. Don't milk it, Vivian.
Get up, man.
347
00:24:41,199 --> 00:24:44,359
He never even blew the horn.
He's steering the bus with a mop!
348
00:24:44,379 --> 00:24:47,239
Why are we calling it a bus?
It's just a load of chairs.
349
00:24:47,259 --> 00:24:49,558
This is a joke.
350
00:24:49,559 --> 00:24:52,378
Right. Quick-fire round.
Possible scenarios,
351
00:24:52,379 --> 00:24:56,279
raise your hand if you
know the answer. Dai. OK.
352
00:24:56,379 --> 00:24:58,619
You're being held hostage
by a gun-toting pensioner.
353
00:24:58,819 --> 00:25:00,899
How would you react?
Punch her!
354
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,859
Shove her out the door.
No.
355
00:25:02,939 --> 00:25:04,858
Bring your own gun.
No!
356
00:25:04,859 --> 00:25:09,199
Do whatever she tells you in order
to get everyone safely off the bus? Correct answer.
357
00:25:09,219 --> 00:25:11,419
But keep them hands
on the wheel, son.
358
00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:14,609
Give me my sweets!
You're a horrible smelly bum
359
00:25:14,610 --> 00:25:16,859
and I hate you!
I'm gonna punch your lights out!
360
00:25:17,039 --> 00:25:19,639
We're naughty children.
Come on, control us, control us!
361
00:25:19,739 --> 00:25:22,139
Come on, give them back,
they're mine!
362
00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:25,019
Right. Her airways are restricted,
now do something.
363
00:25:29,799 --> 00:25:33,199
For God's sake,
give me mouth-to-mouth, man!
364
00:25:33,219 --> 00:25:37,019
Just go for it! What's it called?!
365
00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,219
Whoa, you can't do that, bud!
366
00:25:40,419 --> 00:25:43,679
She's family, man.
It's not right.
367
00:25:45,659 --> 00:25:47,899
I'll take this one for the team.
368
00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:55,419
Aw, I'm glad
you could meet me, presh.
369
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:58,659
I've been thinking
about it all morning.
370
00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:01,179
Going round and round in my head.
371
00:26:01,279 --> 00:26:04,859
Thing is, it'll make me feel
like a bit of a failure, Mam.
372
00:26:05,979 --> 00:26:08,899
We were only married five minutes,
it's shaming.
373
00:26:10,179 --> 00:26:12,859
See, I reckon this divorce
could be the making of you.
374
00:26:13,059 --> 00:26:15,259
What are you on about?
Well, look at me.
375
00:26:15,799 --> 00:26:19,179
When Rob went, it was awful -
You were a right mess. I know.
376
00:26:19,259 --> 00:26:22,618
But thinking now it was the best
thing that could've happened to me.
377
00:26:22,619 --> 00:26:26,619
What, getting your heart broken?
Yeah, he did me a favour, in fact.
378
00:26:26,799 --> 00:26:30,459
Cos once he'd gone, how could my
life ever go back to how it used to be?
379
00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:33,679
Something had to bloody change.
And, so, she became a nurse.
380
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,539
Exactly.
Mm-hm.
381
00:26:35,559 --> 00:26:38,139
Now... rice cake...
382
00:26:39,579 --> 00:26:42,378
..cottage cheese, nice.
Gross.
383
00:26:42,379 --> 00:26:44,698
Or...
384
00:26:44,699 --> 00:26:46,619
an ex-display banana.
385
00:26:46,799 --> 00:26:48,639
Hard-won, that was.
386
00:26:51,339 --> 00:26:53,499
You know, it's sad
about you and Sunny
387
00:26:53,599 --> 00:26:56,219
that it never worked out,
he was a lovely boy.
388
00:26:56,419 --> 00:26:59,119
But let's face it,
you're doing a job you love.
389
00:26:59,139 --> 00:27:01,119
And it probably
wouldn't have happened
390
00:27:01,179 --> 00:27:03,059
if you two were still together.
391
00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:05,219
Mm.
392
00:27:06,139 --> 00:27:09,179
It's a good thing we don't know how
life's going to turn out, isn't it?
393
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:13,018
You're telling me? Wouldn't bother
getting up in the morning if we did.
394
00:27:13,019 --> 00:27:15,279
Mm.
395
00:27:17,819 --> 00:27:19,899
OK, people. Well...
396
00:27:20,019 --> 00:27:23,239
Mike Dermot,
I gotta be the bearer of bad news.
397
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,099
We gotta be the bearer of bad news.
398
00:27:25,179 --> 00:27:28,378
Now, as you know,
there's only two jobs going.
399
00:27:28,379 --> 00:27:30,358
And so...
400
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,018
without further ado...
401
00:27:33,019 --> 00:27:36,719
I can announce... that...
Alan and Yanto have got the jobs.
402
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,859
Yes!
Ah, great stuff.
403
00:27:38,939 --> 00:27:41,818
But I done better than them
in all the tests. I know, love.
404
00:27:41,819 --> 00:27:45,479
But like you said, your criminal
record's gonna cripple my premiums.
405
00:27:45,679 --> 00:27:48,559
I checked it with Mandy,
it's a total no-goer.
406
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,259
But I'm your nephew.
Oh, come on now, Luke.
407
00:27:51,459 --> 00:27:53,879
Since when have us Welshies
ever gone in for nepotism?
408
00:27:57,059 --> 00:28:00,159
Shall we hear what Daddy's
got to say?
409
00:28:06,659 --> 00:28:09,459
All right, Jack? Listen...
410
00:28:09,499 --> 00:28:12,959
what it is, I'm gonna tell you
a story, like, for your bedtime.
411
00:28:13,979 --> 00:28:16,859
Once upon a time, there
was this caterpillar. Hello?
412
00:28:20,099 --> 00:28:22,938
Well?
413
00:28:22,939 --> 00:28:26,778
Nah. Even my own Auntie
won't give me a job.
414
00:28:26,779 --> 00:28:30,639
Well, she'll have me to contend
with tonight, I can tell you.
415
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,698
Mam, please don't say nothing.
416
00:28:32,699 --> 00:28:35,179
It's humiliating enough as it is.
417
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,259
I'm going to my room.
418
00:28:37,339 --> 00:28:39,779
Do not disturb me.
419
00:28:41,339 --> 00:28:43,659
I'll get the tea on.
420
00:28:50,619 --> 00:28:53,829
I was thinking,
now that I've got a car again...
421
00:28:53,830 --> 00:28:55,479
Using the term loosely...
422
00:28:55,579 --> 00:28:59,359
That maybe we could go somewhere
tomorrow night. Bowling... or cinema?
423
00:28:59,419 --> 00:29:02,659
Cinema'd be good. I went bowling
with Mum and Andy the other day.
424
00:29:02,660 --> 00:29:04,359
So...
Did you?
425
00:29:04,379 --> 00:29:06,179
Yeah.
426
00:29:09,359 --> 00:29:11,099
Do you often um...
427
00:29:11,299 --> 00:29:13,319
you know... do things,
428
00:29:13,339 --> 00:29:15,418
family things with Andy, then?
429
00:29:15,419 --> 00:29:17,019
Yeah.
430
00:29:17,199 --> 00:29:19,739
Good.
431
00:29:19,939 --> 00:29:21,918
That's good.
432
00:29:21,919 --> 00:29:25,759
Not really. You do know
he's an absolute wanker, don't you?
433
00:29:27,639 --> 00:29:31,059
I'm sorry, Stel, but Dai's decision
was final, you know me.
434
00:29:31,079 --> 00:29:34,619
I'd have taken him on in a flash
but Dai's the senior boss
435
00:29:34,819 --> 00:29:36,898
and I got to bow to
his what-d'ya-call.
436
00:29:36,899 --> 00:29:39,979
You felt Luke was a liability,
didn't you, Dai? Yeah, you said.
437
00:29:40,239 --> 00:29:43,099
Don't be putting the blame on me.
OK, everyone!
438
00:29:43,299 --> 00:29:45,179
Eyes forward.
439
00:29:46,299 --> 00:29:48,519
Now before we start
this week's exercises
440
00:29:48,539 --> 00:29:52,858
can I just say a big welcome
to our newest and youngest member
441
00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:55,119
give it up for little Alan.
442
00:29:58,059 --> 00:30:01,519
OK.
Legs in the air, everyone!
443
00:30:04,859 --> 00:30:08,739
And don't forget, everyone.
When we get tempted, what do we do?
444
00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:10,599
Five big breaths...
445
00:30:10,619 --> 00:30:13,939
Is this Blubber Busters
with Lina Lloyd? No, Nadine Bevan.
446
00:30:13,940 --> 00:30:17,139
I've took over the concession
while Lina's having her band fitted.
447
00:30:17,140 --> 00:30:20,698
And we've just finished, by the way.
But it says seven sharp on this leaflet.
448
00:30:20,699 --> 00:30:24,539
That's an old one. Here's the new
one with all the right times.
449
00:30:24,739 --> 00:30:27,019
Oh, can I have one of them.
Only I lost mine.
450
00:30:27,279 --> 00:30:29,989
No. What do you think I am,
made of leaflets or something?
451
00:30:29,990 --> 00:30:32,499
Great. That's an hour of my life
I won't get back!
452
00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:35,338
Oh, for god's sake!
453
00:30:35,339 --> 00:30:38,418
Ah.
Wait, they're mine!
454
00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:41,138
All right, I'm only helping
you pick them up, like.
455
00:30:41,139 --> 00:30:43,879
Oh, it's you.
Ta for the scarf, by the way.
456
00:30:43,899 --> 00:30:44,999
I thought you'd stolen it.
457
00:30:45,019 --> 00:30:48,659
Are you working?
Cos I need a lift home now.
458
00:30:48,699 --> 00:30:51,418
Er... finished for the day,
but I'll still take you if you want.
459
00:30:51,419 --> 00:30:56,279
I'm taking you back aren't I, Stel?
Mates rates. ?1.50 a hour. ?2.
460
00:30:56,379 --> 00:30:59,939
No, thank you. I'm not looking
for charity, I'm looking for a taxi.
461
00:31:05,159 --> 00:31:08,619
Hey, Bobs. I just texted you.
What's this about you resigning?
462
00:31:08,699 --> 00:31:13,279
You haven't, has he?
It takes a big man to admit defeat.
463
00:31:13,339 --> 00:31:15,019
I should have done it ages ago.
464
00:31:15,099 --> 00:31:18,359
Well, do you want to talk about it?
Sorry, I can't stop!
465
00:31:41,019 --> 00:31:43,439
Going somewhere?
Oh, shit.
466
00:31:56,937 --> 00:31:58,997
Ben? Are you awake yet?
467
00:32:01,077 --> 00:32:03,157
Oi, your mum's calling you.
468
00:32:05,877 --> 00:32:09,527
How'd you get here? It's OK for you
to break into ours last night
469
00:32:09,528 --> 00:32:10,837
but not the other way round?
470
00:32:11,797 --> 00:32:14,977
Er... no. It's fine. Honest.
471
00:32:14,997 --> 00:32:17,717
Got any smokes?
I thought smoking was for morons.
472
00:32:17,917 --> 00:32:20,117
I lied.
473
00:32:21,717 --> 00:32:24,596
I only got papers and 'baccy.
But they're solid to roll.
474
00:32:24,597 --> 00:32:27,177
For you, maybe.
475
00:32:38,997 --> 00:32:42,517
Oh, sorry, I didn't realise.
I just wanted to - Help yourself.
476
00:32:54,677 --> 00:32:58,017
Katie tells me
you went bowling with Andy? Yes.
477
00:32:59,197 --> 00:33:00,417
Andy got seven strikes.
478
00:33:01,717 --> 00:33:06,187
Look, you're moving too fast for her, Jan,
it's not fair. How often does he sleep over?
479
00:33:06,188 --> 00:33:09,337
It's none of your business.
Katie is my business.
480
00:33:09,338 --> 00:33:13,217
Well... for your information,
Katie happens to like Andy.
481
00:33:13,237 --> 00:33:16,927
Well, she told me he's a wanker.
Andy is not a wanker.
482
00:33:16,928 --> 00:33:19,637
Someone mention my name?
Yes, they did.
483
00:33:19,837 --> 00:33:22,356
Wanker. For God's sake, Mike.
There is no need for that.
484
00:33:22,357 --> 00:33:24,756
You behave like a bloody child.
That's my mug!
485
00:33:24,757 --> 00:33:27,457
It's the company's mug.
It's my bloody mug! It's not!
486
00:33:27,677 --> 00:33:30,457
And whose company is it? Stop it,
You're behaving like children!
487
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:32,997
It's my bloody mug...
488
00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:34,736
Michael!
Oh, my God.
489
00:33:34,737 --> 00:33:36,917
Are you OK?
Course I'm not bloody OK!
490
00:33:37,117 --> 00:33:40,457
Well, it's not my fault! Shut up
and go and get the first aid kit.
491
00:33:44,757 --> 00:33:47,957
Swearing, fighting,
puking, punching,
492
00:33:48,157 --> 00:33:50,357
stabbing, crying,
hanging and jabbing
493
00:33:50,537 --> 00:33:52,277
Welcome to A&E.
494
00:33:52,477 --> 00:33:54,837
Otherwise known as the front line.
495
00:33:55,017 --> 00:33:57,657
I'm just glad
I'm trained in Krav Maga.
496
00:33:57,717 --> 00:33:59,777
That's an Israeli martial art
497
00:33:59,797 --> 00:34:02,197
way tougher than taekwondo.
498
00:34:03,577 --> 00:34:06,357
Right, Tom, go get our first victim.
499
00:34:07,477 --> 00:34:09,657
Hey now, focus.
500
00:34:13,797 --> 00:34:16,197
I'm only back to clean up my desk.
501
00:34:17,237 --> 00:34:19,197
I left a lot of glitter pens.
502
00:34:20,437 --> 00:34:23,337
And a ball of 'lastics,
if memory serves me right.
503
00:34:23,338 --> 00:34:25,237
One milky tea,
504
00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:28,277
coming right... up.
505
00:34:32,917 --> 00:34:34,617
Oh, really?
506
00:34:34,677 --> 00:34:38,007
And how exactly does it look,
Daddy Simpson? Listen, Bobby Jean.
507
00:34:38,008 --> 00:34:41,477
Things are awful slow over
at Thomas, Thomas, Evans & Thomas...
508
00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:44,336
..and Thomas. So, here I am.
509
00:34:44,337 --> 00:34:47,317
Your new assistant.
If you'll have me.
510
00:34:48,817 --> 00:34:50,677
Wha...
511
00:34:55,797 --> 00:34:58,877
Oh, great.
What? You are joking me - OK, people.
512
00:34:58,878 --> 00:35:04,216
Mr Michael Jackson. Deep cut
to the nose caused by a china mug.
513
00:35:04,217 --> 00:35:08,376
Stella, what do you see?
Er... no, I can't, sorry.
514
00:35:08,377 --> 00:35:10,797
Excuse me?
I gotta declare an interest.
515
00:35:10,837 --> 00:35:14,197
He is my next-door neighbour
and we seriously don't get on, so...
516
00:35:14,377 --> 00:35:17,597
She's right about -
Whoa. Stop right there.
517
00:35:19,477 --> 00:35:22,357
Listen up. There's gonna
be times in your career
518
00:35:22,557 --> 00:35:24,537
when you've gotta
treat people you don't like.
519
00:35:24,597 --> 00:35:28,717
People you hate even, loathe,
despise, abhor.
520
00:35:28,737 --> 00:35:32,597
Detest?
Detest. You just grit your teeth,
521
00:35:32,777 --> 00:35:35,217
grab your gearstick and get on
with what needs to be done.
522
00:35:35,317 --> 00:35:37,557
Cos this is a hospital,
not a social club.
523
00:35:37,737 --> 00:35:39,977
And as sure as shandy
ain't no room for squabbles
524
00:35:39,978 --> 00:35:41,817
when someone's life's
in the balance.
525
00:35:43,697 --> 00:35:46,777
Now clean him out.
526
00:36:04,597 --> 00:36:08,057
What have you got on?
It's not the bloody Nuts awards.
527
00:36:08,058 --> 00:36:10,197
Colette said glamour,
So, I glammed up.
528
00:36:10,397 --> 00:36:13,237
Why are you all waiting out here?
You should be inside, come on.
529
00:36:13,357 --> 00:36:15,957
Where's Colette to?
She's not well.
530
00:36:17,117 --> 00:36:19,837
Trouble in paradise, eh?
Shut up.
531
00:36:25,717 --> 00:36:28,916
Ooh, how about the new
Quentin Tarantino? Hmm. Good call.
532
00:36:28,917 --> 00:36:32,717
Hm. The state of your nose, you look
like you're in a Quentin Tarantino.
533
00:36:32,757 --> 00:36:34,537
Ha-ha.
534
00:36:36,437 --> 00:36:38,837
He's in his room, presh.
535
00:36:39,837 --> 00:36:43,517
Unless he's been suffocated
by car fumes!
536
00:36:48,397 --> 00:36:51,477
Right. I just seen them go out.
Him and her next door.
537
00:36:51,657 --> 00:36:53,476
So?
So...
538
00:36:53,477 --> 00:36:55,497
now you can show me the VIP exit.
539
00:36:55,498 --> 00:36:57,897
And then I might come tagging.
540
00:36:58,857 --> 00:37:00,837
Maybe, if I feel like it.
541
00:37:00,917 --> 00:37:02,837
OK.
542
00:37:03,877 --> 00:37:07,147
He's here to collect
the award on Melanie's behalf.
543
00:37:07,148 --> 00:37:09,876
There's something very sexy
about a man who did your hair.
544
00:37:09,877 --> 00:37:11,796
Shush, man!
I'm only saying!
545
00:37:11,797 --> 00:37:15,156
If a man can do a French pleat who knows
what else he can do with his fingers?
546
00:37:15,157 --> 00:37:18,197
Eh, Marcus? All right,
I think you've had enough now.
547
00:37:18,377 --> 00:37:21,857
Shame Colette
couldn't make it tonight, innit?
548
00:37:21,877 --> 00:37:24,277
What was it, migraine, was it?
549
00:37:24,477 --> 00:37:26,977
Don't be so bloody naughty!
Something like that.
550
00:37:27,177 --> 00:37:30,297
She's gonna be so
proud of you, mind, winning that.
551
00:37:30,357 --> 00:37:33,396
Is she?
Isn't she?
552
00:37:33,397 --> 00:37:35,557
OK. The next one's a biggie.
553
00:37:35,817 --> 00:37:37,717
It's salon of the year.
554
00:37:42,497 --> 00:37:45,117
And the award goes to...
555
00:37:47,037 --> 00:37:49,437
Pontyberry's finest. Jensens.
556
00:37:51,517 --> 00:37:55,477
Jensens is run by husband and wife
team Marcus and Colette Jensen,
557
00:37:55,677 --> 00:37:59,637
who set up the salon in 2003
and haven't looked back since.
558
00:37:59,837 --> 00:38:02,277
You're so talented.
Please welcome to the stage,
559
00:38:02,357 --> 00:38:06,737
hairdresser of the year himself,
Marcus Jensen.
560
00:38:06,837 --> 00:38:08,917
Up for his second award of the night.
561
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,736
Thank you.
562
00:38:14,737 --> 00:38:17,556
Wow. Two in one night,
feels a bit greedy.
563
00:38:17,557 --> 00:38:20,477
But I'd especially like
to thank all the staff -
564
00:38:20,478 --> 00:38:23,796
- Go Marcus, go!
- Shush, man!
565
00:38:23,797 --> 00:38:26,417
And unfortunately
Colette can't be here tonight
566
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,377
but I'm sure that she would be...
well, she'd be thrilled.
567
00:38:29,397 --> 00:38:32,997
And I'd just like to say...
Jensens fucking rock!
568
00:38:34,237 --> 00:38:36,277
Ah, my boobs!
569
00:38:45,397 --> 00:38:49,217
I want some more champagne, don't I?
570
00:38:49,237 --> 00:38:51,157
Easy now.
571
00:38:51,337 --> 00:38:54,217
I've got an ASDA bag in the back
if you want to... Thanks, Al.
572
00:38:54,218 --> 00:38:57,517
- Yep, there we are.
- Yes.
573
00:38:57,557 --> 00:39:00,997
But I wanna meet Nicky Clarke.
I got his curling tongs!
574
00:39:01,077 --> 00:39:04,037
And his straighteners!
She'll have to come back to mine.
575
00:39:04,117 --> 00:39:06,517
Her mam'll kill her
if she goes home like this.
576
00:39:06,717 --> 00:39:09,657
I'm not surprised.
This should cover it. Thanks.
577
00:39:11,097 --> 00:39:13,797
I love you, Marcus.
Oh, God. I do, man.
578
00:39:13,877 --> 00:39:16,197
He's proper lush, he is.
Ain't he, Al?
579
00:39:16,277 --> 00:39:19,817
Oh, get off.
Go home, Amy, you're drunk.
580
00:39:19,837 --> 00:39:23,696
Watch your head. Mind your dress.
Cheers, mate. Aye.
581
00:39:23,697 --> 00:39:28,396
Sorry about all this.
She's lucky to have you as a friend.
582
00:39:28,397 --> 00:39:31,456
Well, you're lucky and all.
583
00:39:31,457 --> 00:39:35,097
Mr South Wales Valley's
Hairdresser Of The Year.
584
00:39:35,137 --> 00:39:37,337
It'll be all right, you know.
585
00:39:37,357 --> 00:39:39,357
Whatever it is.
586
00:39:40,217 --> 00:39:42,037
Thanks. Thanks.
587
00:39:45,637 --> 00:39:48,577
Safe journey. Where are we going?
We're going home.
588
00:39:48,597 --> 00:39:52,417
I told you not to get this drunk.
You know what, I love this song.
589
00:39:52,437 --> 00:39:56,117
Oh, shush now. Al's driving.
590
00:40:02,677 --> 00:40:04,917
Hi, Colette, it's me.
591
00:40:05,117 --> 00:40:07,517
Just thought
you'd like to know we won.
592
00:40:07,518 --> 00:40:09,396
And I'm on my way home now.
593
00:40:09,397 --> 00:40:11,317
Hope you're not still angry with me.
594
00:40:12,637 --> 00:40:14,697
See you.
595
00:40:18,297 --> 00:40:21,876
Cool. What do we do now?
596
00:40:21,877 --> 00:40:24,197
Nothing. This is it.
Really?
597
00:40:24,277 --> 00:40:25,877
What do you expect?
598
00:40:29,737 --> 00:40:31,717
Do you think this is hers?
599
00:40:31,797 --> 00:40:34,857
Well, it's not her dad's, is it?
Now put it down, man!
600
00:40:38,557 --> 00:40:42,076
Well, at least we managed
to get back here. Heap of junk.
601
00:40:42,077 --> 00:40:44,957
Have to get a bloody mechanic
round tomorrow.
602
00:40:46,857 --> 00:40:49,876
Give me the sausages!
Give me the sausages!
603
00:40:49,877 --> 00:40:53,137
But I ate them.
I thought they were for the journey.
604
00:40:55,357 --> 00:40:57,337
Come on.
605
00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:59,537
What's she doing up there?
606
00:40:59,637 --> 00:41:01,236
Tess?
607
00:41:01,237 --> 00:41:03,797
Tessa?
608
00:41:03,997 --> 00:41:06,276
How did you get in here?
609
00:41:06,277 --> 00:41:09,277
Oi! What... Oi!
610
00:41:12,757 --> 00:41:14,777
All right, I hear you.
611
00:41:16,017 --> 00:41:18,997
I just found your delinquent
of a child and his mate in my house!
612
00:41:19,197 --> 00:41:21,737
I'm not a child!
He's not delinquent! Really?
613
00:41:21,738 --> 00:41:25,077
Then explain why he was breaking
and entering my property! Ben?
614
00:41:25,277 --> 00:41:27,297
- Well?
- What's going on?
615
00:41:27,497 --> 00:41:30,817
Been a break-in at Mr Jackson's.
Sign of the times, Mike.
616
00:41:30,837 --> 00:41:33,437
Broken society
equals break-in Britain.
617
00:41:33,438 --> 00:41:36,657
Mam?
Everything all right? No, actually.
618
00:41:36,757 --> 00:41:38,676
I would have
been well within my rights
619
00:41:38,677 --> 00:41:41,277
to have attacked him
in self-defence.
620
00:41:41,278 --> 00:41:43,316
Showed you, burglaring scum!
621
00:41:43,317 --> 00:41:45,877
But he's talking
about your Ben, Bren.
622
00:41:46,077 --> 00:41:48,756
Really? Oh, well,
there's another one
623
00:41:48,757 --> 00:41:50,677
headed for the slammer then, Madge.
624
00:41:54,997 --> 00:41:58,457
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Easy.
625
00:41:58,497 --> 00:42:01,876
Sorry, Mam. She's hammered, she is.
626
00:42:01,877 --> 00:42:05,087
Can she stay? Her mam'll kill her
if she goes home like this.
627
00:42:05,088 --> 00:42:08,357
Yeah, course she can. Every other
waif and stray's in there. What?
628
00:42:08,437 --> 00:42:11,117
It isn't that bad, is it?
Can we not do this on the street?
629
00:42:11,157 --> 00:42:14,736
Right. Ben inside.
Little Alan, go with your dad.
630
00:42:14,737 --> 00:42:18,057
As for you, who I do have in my house
is none of your business.
631
00:42:18,058 --> 00:42:20,197
But I'll tell you
one thing for nothing...
632
00:42:20,277 --> 00:42:23,657
Everyone who goes through that door
is a damn sight nicer than you,
633
00:42:23,658 --> 00:42:27,076
you... stuck up, annoying,
English... bastard!
634
00:42:27,077 --> 00:42:29,757
Oh! And she's a racist to boot!
635
00:42:33,657 --> 00:42:35,217
Nice.
636
00:42:35,317 --> 00:42:38,197
Oh, very nice.
637
00:42:38,397 --> 00:42:41,737
I want my mam!
Very nice, very nice.
638
00:43:03,977 --> 00:43:07,436
Because it's my business, butty-boy!
639
00:43:07,437 --> 00:43:09,397
Brenda's Buses!
640
00:43:09,517 --> 00:43:11,956
16 stone at one point.
Good god!
641
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:14,517
And I couldn't cross my legs.
642
00:43:14,717 --> 00:43:19,337
Without further to-do, I give you the
all new Simpsons! Roll the tape!
643
00:43:19,357 --> 00:43:23,477
You know what we're like here, someone might
steal it! My day couldn't get much worse.
644
00:43:23,677 --> 00:43:27,777
Starting with the watches.
I got D+G, Gucci, Tag...
645
00:43:28,977 --> 00:43:30,637
What the f...
646
00:43:31,737 --> 00:43:33,839
'Scuse me.
647
00:43:33,929 --> 00:44:04,948
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
648
00:44:04,998 --> 00:44:09,548
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
50837
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.