Original subtitles

How many people signed up for this class?

- 30. - It's 25 max.

She thinks I'm an idiot.

Matthew's school put together an event to honor him,

and you, you need to be there.

I don't think he felt like he meant much to this place.

He's always talking about how crazy this school made him.

I thought I knew what today was going to be,

that I would come here and explain to you all

how amazing my husband was,

but you already knew that.

I'm sorry for your loss.

If we had a kid, we would have to come up

with some ridiculous name... like Pickle.

- Pickle? - [laughs]

So these were all things Matt wanted.

Like an idiot, I still believed that the worst

of this nightmare...

[inhales deeply]

was over.

[dramatic music]

You walk all night, 16 miles.

My friends and I do it to honor our friend Margaret

who took her own life.

I know a suicide walk is a crazy thing to look forward to,

but when I did it last year, it changed me.

So...

We are way over. Uh, well, I'm done.

So thanks for listening.

Thanks, Karen.

Thanks, everybody.

Eh?

[chairs clattering lightly, indistinct chatter]

- Hey, man. - Hey.

First time?

No, but it's been a while.

Hey, was... was Leigh here today?

I don't know a Leigh.

Huh.

Okay.

She was...

My brother was her husband.

He's dead, so I don't really know what we are now,

but she hasn't returned my texts in more than a week.

I thought she was ghosting me.

Maybe she's ghosting everybody.

Look, I know we just met, and I don't know her,

but can I say something?

Sounds like you're going to anyway.

The kind of person who comes to this group

is not the kind of person you want to see disappear.

Hey, Patrick.

I hope to see you again soon...

maybe in a chair next time, maybe with your friend.

[indistinct chatter]

[cell phone clicking]

[cell phone chimes]

So what happened?

I tore my MCL teaching my dance class.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.

This is not about me. It is about Leigh.

What's going on with Leigh?

She's been bailing on her classes.

She just stays in her room.

She hasn't showered, and all she eats is cereal.

How long has this been happening?

She got back from that thing at Matt's school

in a bad place, and it just got worse from there.

- Mm. - I don't know what to do.

[sighs] She's falling apart,

and the studio is falling apart,

which is...

[exhales deeply] It's making me fall apart...

quite literally.

[breathes deeply]

Hey...

I'm tagging you out, okay?

You take care of the studio and take care of yourself.

I'll... I'll take care of things here.

- Thank you. - Mm.

[both chuckling]

[groans]

It doesn't feel real.

It looks real.

- It is real. - [both laughing]

[upbeat music]

I'm sleeping.

If you were sleeping, you wouldn't be talking to me.

Danny?

Hey.

- What are you doing here? - I...

Wanted to check in, see how you were.

[rustling]

- I'm fine. - [sniffles]

[scoffs]

Anyone with, uh, more than two dirty bowls

in their bedroom isn't fine.

[sighs]

You've got, like, ten.

Why didn't you answer my texts?

My phone's dead, and I don't know where my charger is.

That's cool.

I got you.

Okay, well, you came and checked on me,

did a good deed, so you can go now.

I can't leave till I know you're gonna be all right.

I am all right.

You're a... liar.

Okay, you're not going back to bed, so...

- What are you doing? - Where's your top sheet?

- Oh, it's here. - Stop.

Stop! Stop making my bed! This is so inappropriate!

If that's what it's gonna take

to get you out of this room, then fine.

That's what's happening.

So what do you want to do?

Get some food? See a movie?

- No. - I mean, I suck at bowling,

but we can do that if you... No, Danny, no!

Why would I want to be out in the world

with people who are having fun?

Okay.

I won't take you anyplace fun.

I promise.

Hey, I just came by to drop off my keys.

How's the leg?

Still busted.

How are you still working on the newsletter?

That should take you, like, an hour.

Okay, Lacey, you don't work here anymore,

so you can go run free and find someone new to torture.

- What are you doing? - This will take you hours.

It will take me minutes.

Come watch if you want

or just continue to not know how to do your job.

I'm so glad I quit.

[sighs]

[dramatic music]

[siren wailing in the distance]

You took me to a suicide walk?

What the hell is wrong with you?

Don't scream at me.

I will scream at you

because you tricked me into coming here!

That's not what I was trying to...

I didn't know how to explain this thing to you in a way...

I just thought that if I showed you...

I don't know. I figured you'd get it.

Well, I don't get it.

You think Matt killed himself,

I think we're never gonna know what happened,

so why would I ever do this walk with you?

Look, if I ever hear about anyone doing a,

"My husband may have jumped off a cliff

"or he may have slipped and fell,

"I guess we'll never know" walk, then I'll let you know.

But until I see a flier about that,

here we are surrounded by people

who know what we're going through.

Okay, listen.

- What if we just do a mile? - No.

- One mile. - I said no.

You love talking about what Matt would want.

You think he would want you to go back home

and lock yourself in your room?

Leigh, you know he wouldn't want that.

You're using Matt against me?

Now you know how obnoxious you are when you do it.

One mile.

Come on.

Okay.

Newsletter is done. Looks good.

Just next time, try not to do it with so many typos.

Who tries to do typos?

- All I'm saying is try harder. - All I do is try hard.

Every second of every day,

I am at the studio trying my hardest.

Jules, come on.

You're always, like, running off to have coffee

with your friends or whatever.

- What friends? - I don't have friends.

My only friend who wasn't family

dumped me because my mom slept with her husband and...

Okay, I shouldn't have, um...

Please don't tell anyone who still works here

what I just said.

I won't.

You know, even if I did have friends,

I wouldn't have time for them.

All I do now is work.

You were gone for almost two hours yesterday morning...

and the evening before.

I just... I assumed.

Mm.

I had to go to AA.

Oh.

I didn't know.

[scoffs] Well, now you do.

I didn't realize things were like that for you.

Honestly, I thought you just lived at home

and worked for your mom,

did whatever you want and basically had no problems.

[scoffs] Yeah, I have problems.

You know, look, thanks for staying to help...

Hey, I'm hungry.

You want to order some food?

[cell phone vibrates]

- You're blowing up. - No, you're blowing up.

How long was this off?

[cell phone chiming] Uh, a week.

You got a lot of texts from Drew...

and voice mails.

- [groans] - What happened?

I was supposed to write this... makeup review,

and the day it was due,

I had a breakdown,

and it all went into the stupid piece.

Hmm.

I'm sure the beauty editor... she rewrote the whole thing

and probably yelled at Drew,

and now he's calling to yell at me.

So, yeah, there goes whatever Internet writing career

I maybe almost had.

There's no way it was that bad.

Oh, well, this is the last email I sent.

Here.

- Holy... You sent this? - Yeah, well...

it's not that bad.

- Wait. - Oh, God, I lied.

It is that bad.

- No, it's amazing. - It's amazing.

"Someone invent me a time machine"...

It's so stupid.

"So I can take it back to Mesopotamia

and murder the person who invented eyeliner."

- [laughs] - Yeah.

- [laughs] - Here.

Tell us how you really feel. [laughing]

[indie rock music]

[indistinct chatter]

- Excuse me? - Hey.

I'm Leigh.

I was just wondering if you had a spare one of those pens.

Oh, we have so many pens.

Mom, I think everyone's ready to keep walking.

You're doing 16 miles on crutches?

Yeah.

My sister's on crutches right now,

and she is having a hard time just getting around the house.

- Yeah, no. - This is hard for me.

When I broke my ankle,

I thought I wasn't going to be able

to do the walk this year,

but then it was like I knew the walk would hurt,

but it would have hurt more not to be here.

So...

- Ready? - Yeah.

Keep the pen. We've got too many.

- Thank you. - [all chuckle]

[music continues]

Write something on my back.

- "Kick me." - Danny.

Write a Matt thing.

[music continues]

I was at this place last week.

Yeah, you'd probably be out right now

if you didn't have to babysit me.

Nobody's babysitting.

I wanted to hang out with you tonight.

God, even I don't want to hang out with me right now.

You know I hate that you have to see me like this.

- Like what? - Come on, Danny.

Hey, you got knocked down.

That's just what happens when you get hit hard.

But you got back up. You're walking.

Why do you have to go to Norway?

Oh, no, she doesn't have to go to Norway.

Matt has to go to Norway, right?

Why... why does Matt have to go to Norway?

How did you know about that?

Matt was using that joke on me

way before he was using it on you.

What's the joke?

Whenever I would ask Matt to do something he didn't want,

like take out the trash or hang out with my mom,

he would, um... his excuse would always be,

"I can't. I have to go to Norway."

[laughs]

[all laughing]

Okay.

[all laughing]

[electronic music playing]

Oh, that's such a good one.

God.

Okay...

Okay, I know you're not supposed to objectify people,

but our delivery girl was so hot.

Oh, you are allowed to objectify people

- when they are that hot. - [laughs]

Wow.

Oh.

God, we have so many smoke shows at this studio.

I can say this now 'cause I don't work here anymore.

Kaitlin with a K,

Lyndsey with a Y,

Lauren P, Lauren W.

Oh, my God, Lauren W.

Okay, I can't say how hot our students are

because I still work here,

but, yeah.

Right?

[both laughing]

Well, you know, it's not just the students.

I mean, why do you think so many people take your class?

Are people that obsessed with songs from 2002?

- Yes. - No, dummy.

All of your students are wet for you.

They are not...

Soaking through their booty shorts wet for you.

Lacey...

No, it is a good thing that there are built-in bras

in the workout tanks,

otherwise it would just be rows of visible nipples everywhere.

- No. - It's true.

You are the queen of smoke shows.

Bow down, bitches.

[both laughing]

- Okay, whatever. - You know what?

If I didn't know you hated me,

I would think that you liked me.

Well, maybe...

Maybe I don't hate you.

Okay, now I know you're messing with me.

Do you want to be messed with?

I don't know.

Seems to me like you do.

- Is this okay? - Yeah.

Ooh.

I wore the wrong shoes.

I officially have blisters.

- I wore the wrong underwear. - I officially have swamp ass.

[both laughing]

What's swamp ass?

If you don't know, I'm not telling you.

- Oh, my God. - Distract me.

Don't let me think about my pain.

Uh, okay.

Uh... Oh. I know.

Uh, you wrote a Matt thing on my shirt.

Let me write one on yours.

I don't want my shirt messed up.

[chuckles] Well, if you'd let me mess up your shirt,

we could be Team Matt together.

I'm going on this long-ass walk for him.

Isn't that enough?

[laughs]

- Okay, well, whatever. - Forget about Team Matt.

I can't make you be a part of something

you don't want to be a part of.

What is that supposed to mean?

You said you quit your job so that you can, I don't know,

do all these things for yourself.

and it just sounds like you don't have time

to be team anybody else right now.

I feel like you want to say something.

You should just go ahead and say it.

- I don't know. - This... what...

whatever it is that you're doing,

it... it... [laughs]

It just seems a little selfish.

- You think I'm being selfish? - Yeah, a little.

Wow.

It's crazy hearing that from you,

'cause you're, like, the most selfish person I know.

What are you talking...

Always calling the grief shots,

forcing everybody to play by your rules.

I don't do that.

You make Matt's death about you.

- That is not true. - Yeah, it is.

You wouldn't even leave me alone

until I agreed to do that stupid emoji thing with you.

You wouldn't leave me alone

until I did this stupid walk with you.

Somebody had to get you out of bed, Leigh.

You were like Matt on his worst day.

And then I get you back into the world,

and it's like you're not even grateful.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you got me out here, and now we are doing

this thing for Matt, this thing that was your idea,

but when I try and bring him up,

you shut me down.

And we are surrounded by these people

who are remembering their loved ones together,

and you won't remember Matt with me.

And you know what, Danny?

Maybe you don't think you owe me that,

but think about Matt.

- You at least owe Matt. - I don't owe Matt anything!

He abandoned me!

You think you can get out of bed tomorrow?

- Yep. - Cool.

Glad you're feeling better.

I'm out of here.

You're what?

I'm calling a Lyft.

You can get one to wherever you want to go.

[scoffs]

Yeah, I'm gonna finish this walk.

You can't walk alone in the middle of the night.

I'll walk with them.

But what happens if you lose...

Danny, if you want to quit, that's on you.

I've got six more miles.

[sighs]

[both laughing]

Uh, so was that your way of un-quitting?

I never would have done that if I was staying.

[both laugh]

[sighs]

Now I have to get back to my real life,

and it's gonna be so depressing.

[grunts]

You're gonna be okay.

I don't know about that.

Well, you're just one of those people.

You walk into a room, you have a thing.

Oh, that thing where I mess everything up?

- Yes. - Yes, that.

[both laughing]

- You have other stuff, too. - Mm.

You have... you have magic in your pocket.

What... I have what in my what?

[both laughing]

No, it's a thing.

It's a thing my life coach says.

Oh, I didn't know you were the life-coach type.

Well, people aren't types.

Mm, not just types.

True that.

She's always telling me to dig deep,

find the magic.

I don't know if I have any.

But I see yours.

When you teach your class,

I see the way your students look at you.

All right, I'm gonna go.

You're not gonna help me clean up the mats?

I don't work here anymore.

[door opens]

[scoffs]

[somber music]

I'm sorry that I screamed at you earlier.

I know that...

you're hurting and doing your best.

Yeah.

Do you have anything

that you want to apologize to me for?

[exhales deeply]

No, no

[laughs]

Sorry for dropping off the face of the Earth.

Yeah, why did you?

[scoffs]

There are all these times throughout the week

where it feels like...

Matt could still be alive.

Like, Thursday morning, Matt doesn't feel gone.

It just feels like he's out at school,

trying to get through third period.

But when I'm with you,

Matt really feels gone because I wouldn't be with you

if he were here.

My brother never feels more dead

than when I'm with you, Leigh.

I miss you.

Yeah, no, I-I feel the same way, too, about you.

But us being friends,

it's like, I don't know...

you're gonna find another Matt.

Where does that leave me?

Are you really gonna stay friends

with your dead husband's brother?

You're gonna get married again, maybe have kids.

You're gonna have this whole new life

that doesn't include me.

I don't think I'm gonna have a life

that doesn't include you.

[dramatic music]

My feet are wet, and I can't tell if it's sweat

or if my shoes are filling up with blood.

My swamp ass is so wet, it might be blood.

[both laughing]

Oh, I don't know if I can keep walking anymore.

- We've got one more mile. - I know.

- We're so close. - Danny, my feet.

- I'll carry you. - No.

No, it's okay.

I'm fine. It's okay.

Yeah, you know what? I changed my mind.

Can I... Let's go.

- Okay. - Come on.

- I got it! - Ow!

- [laughing] - Jesus Christ, you're heavy.

- It is muscle. - I am a fitness instructor.

You don't know any of... [laughs]

Oh, God.

Oh. [muttering]

- [laughs] - [mutters]

You know, I actually think we're gonna make it.

No, I think we're gonna make it.

[music continues]

[cheers and applause]

What are we gonna do the next time we hang out?

I don't know.

- Okay. - [laughing]

Uh, you said you sucked at bowling,

so what about... there's miniature golf.

Laser tag. Roller skating.

Anything?

Danny. Come on.

- You know, Leigh, I... - [clears throat]

I don't think us hanging out is... is a good idea.

[sighs]

[laughing]

What the hell, Danny?

We just had this whole crazy night together,

and now you are telling me that we're in the exact same place

we were last year when you told me

that you couldn't hang out with me anymore?

Like, this can't keep happening.

You can't... you can't be my friend one minute

and then a total stranger the next.

You can't do this night with me and then disappear again.

No, I am so sick of this...

I mean, why can't you just... just be my friend?

Leigh, I think I'm in love with you.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I t-think I'm gonna go.

- Yeah, okay. - Me too.

- Bye, Leigh. - Bye. Bye, Danny.

[light indie rock music]

A-are you okay?

Why are you asking me so many questions, Mom?

Because I care about you.

Danny, I know you're not doing well.

It's my favorite part of the week, actually.

Your favorite?

Wow, I leave my regular spot feeling like

I just broke out of detention.

I'm Tommy, by the way.

Jules.

What were you listening to?

His name is Javi.

- So it's a first date. - That's huge.

Do you feel ready?

I don't know, but I want to be.

I'm really glad you walked into the record store

when you did.

- Maybe it was fate... - or a sign.

A sign of what?

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