Original subtitles

We can't surf the Gold Coast if you never learn to surf.

Tomorrow I'm teaching you. We're doing this.

No, a day with a sub is a wasted day for my kids.

You're always talking about what lazy assholes

your kids are. Isn't every day a wasted day?

Our beauty vertical is expanding.

If you want to write, like, a makeup review

that takes down the patriarchy, be my guest.

Yeah.

- Mom, look, about Christmas. - I'm not going.

I'm not going, and... and that's it.

I consider you a friend, Amy.

[laughs] Your wife considers the person

with whom you are sleeping a friend.

And that makes you a chicken shit.

I've got to fix some things, so I'm going.

- To where? - Alaska.

[upbeat music]

How does Mom do this display?

I'll ask her next time she checks in from Antarctica.

- Alaska. - She's still in the States.

Not the continental ones.

- Oh. - We just ran out of mats.

How many people signed up for this class?

Um...

30.

It's 25 max.

Maybe the app glitched.

We could just call the developers...

There's not time to call the...

Okay, the last five people that signed up get class vouchers.

- Okay, uh, where... where... - Top drawer in the folder.

New year, same Jules.

She thinks I'm an idiot.

- You're fine. - Lacey just sucks.

[chuckles]

Next time she comes at one of us, you hold her down,

I'll strangle her with a sweat towel.

[laughs]

[chuckles]

Hey, don't you have your thing at Matt's school?

Well, I can't leave you alone here.

I'll be okay.

It's just really bad timing.

Today's my deadline for this makeup review

that I have to bang out before I put my life on hold

to be the widow for these high schoolers.

It's nice that they're doing something to remember him.

Yeah, but they didn't know Matt.

They just saw him an hour a day.

- Well, do what you have to do. - I will handle things here.

Hey, I have vouchers. I'm so sorry about that.

Thanks for coming.

Wow.

Hi.

[knocking]

- Hey, Mom. - What's going on?

What's going on with you, Daniel?

Today?

Um, surfing, lunch... [door closes]

I'm taking my bike up PCH.

No safety lectures, though. I got a helmet.

If I was gonna give you a lecture,

I'd start with letting your mother

spend the holidays alone.

But you had Aunt Cheryl

and Uncle Justin and all of our cousins...

- And on Christmas? - I had no sons.

Folks at Matthew's school put together an event for him,

to honor him, and I'd... I'd go, but Cheryl's in the hospital,

she's having a hip replacement,

which you'd know if you'd come for Christmas.

And she'll be fine, but I just need to be there.

I'm her sister.

And Matthew was your brother.

And you... you need to be there.

Mom, I'm finally getting to a place

where I don't think about Matt every day.

Oh, must be nice to have that choice.

You can get back to that tomorrow.

Today you are going to this.

What are you gonna do, ground me?

- You know what? - That's not a bad idea.

Taking your bike keys. You can pick these up after the event.

- Mom, come on, give me my... - You need to clean up

your little apartment... pretty messy.

[light music]

[upbeat music playing over speakers]

[indistinct chatter]

[sighs]

Good to see you're at least pretending to work.

You drove 15 minutes out of your way

to guilt-trip me at my coffee shop?

I also like the drinks here.

You missed your deadline again.

Marie has been circling my desk every hour to yell at me,

and so now I have to yell at you.

I'm sorry, okay?

Um, I'm still searching for the way in.

I'm... I'm thinking about a historical angle.

- It's makeup. - Stop overthinking it.

So you don't want it to be good?

You know what's better than good?

- Hmm? - Done.

Unicorn caramel mocha for Drew.

I need the piece, Leigh.

Go take your nasty drink back to your office.

You will have it in an hour... 90 minutes, tops.

[music continues]

[indistinct chatter]

Hey.

Uh, is, um, Bobby coming?

- We don't have to talk. - We can just stick to emojis.

- Oh. Okay. - Leigh? Hi, I'm Nina.

- Oh, hi. - Matt told me

so much about you.

You must be Matt's brother.

Yeah, my mom couldn't make it.

So you put this together?

I had to, for Matt.

He meant so much to all of us.

[laughs] Okay.

I don't think he felt like he meant much to this place.

He's always talking about how crazy the school made him.

- Danny. - That's what teachers do.

You should hear us in the faculty lounge.

This job can be a real grind.

[phone buzzing]

But even on his worst days, Matt gave it his all.

We were all so inspired by him.

Where can I find the restroom?

- Down the hall, hang a right. - Just before the double doors.

Did you want anything? A coffee or a tea?

- Oh, no, I'm good. - Thank you, though.

Sure.

You wanted to see me?

- Hey, Tyler. - So, uh...

okay, so you spent three pages analyzing

the lake scene in which Mr. Darcy

takes off his wet shirt.

That never happened in Jane Austen's novel.

Colin Firth did it in the BBC miniseries.

- [laughs] - So you think this is funny?

Wrong "you're." Wrong "its."

Run-on, passive voice... should I continue?

You have until Monday to actually read the book

and write me a new paper.

This weekend I'm taking my girlfriend to Disneyland...

- Oh, fine! - Fine! You get an F!

"Dare to Care," man.

I spent more time grading this than you spent writing it.

Monday. You're welcome.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[distant laughter]

[boy coughs]

[indistinct chatter] Hey.

Anybody see who parked that red SUV?

You guys wouldn't happen to know

where I can find some drugs?

Are you a narc?

You're related to Mr. Greer?

- He's my brother. - Was.

Sorry we're not at the event.

Look, we can't deal right now.

- So you're what? - Practicing self-care?

You gonna share?

[indistinct chatter]

Okay, so countless possible worlds exist in the multiverse.

Only rare beings called Planeswalkers

can traverse dimensions.

Well, that's kind of awesome.

- I know. - All right.

- Hey, there. - Hey.

- What are you guys up to? - Oh, you know,

just engaging in cosmic combat. You?

I'm collecting for Harvey's retirement present.

- Oh, right. - $100 gift card

to Pickwick Gardens.

Oh, Jesus.

When I retire, please do better.

Hey.

That's really nice of you.

- Oh, no. - I'm gonna kick his ass.

- [laughs] - Sorry.

Have fun.

- All right. - So these are Creature cards.

And then that's a Land card.

You use that to bring your opponent's score

from 20 to zero.

I'm hoping for a good turnout,

but it's voluntary, and we're talking about teenagers, so...

It's right here.

[door opens]

Hey, doing Harvey's gift and cake.

- Oh, good. - [door closes]

- What is that? - Wow.

- You have a secret talent. - Well, secret, yes.

Talent, no.

Hey, how... how's it going year two?

I mean, I hear the kids really like you.

I just want to reach 'em, you know?

Really connect.

Like you, at lunch.

That was penance.

Penance for earlier sins... I don't know.

Yeah, I lost it on a kid earlier today.

Not a good look. I think I scared him.

Tyler wasn't that scared.

I have him fourth period.

He was telling people your panties were on too tight.

Why do we do this, again?

[sighs] The money,

the cars, the clothes, the hos.

[laughs] You know, in senior year,

my English teacher taught me how to read.

- Never too late. - Good for you.

- Oh, God, no. - It was like one of the three

or four things that I remember from high school.

Falling in love with "Crime and Punishment."

The words weren't just words. The characters were alive.

History 125A at Berkeley.

I wish I could teach that kind of stuff.

Like I'm up here talking about the Battle of Bunker Hill,

and the kids think history's about dead people in wigs.

I should be talking about Watts,

the L.A. riots, you know what I mean?

Yeah. Look, you can't ditch the curriculum.

But... but you can do other things.

You can put posters on the wall to make them ask questions.

You can... you can make your tests insanely hard

so they have to do the extra credit

and learn about the other stuff.

Yeah, those are good ideas.

Ready for cake?

- [groans] - It's not hard, it's cake.

Okay, you're right.

- Lemon. - Yo, what?

- Yeah, it's delicious... - It's his favorite.

- Come on. - No, you're right.

[door opens]

[school bell rings]

Matt and I used to smoke together.

- No way. - Mr. Greer was so uptight.

He was always, like, clenching.

He must've been so boring when he was high.

- No, he was hilarious. - Like how?

So Matt did Model UN in high school, right?

And this one time he got stoned

the morning before a conference.

He put his suit on and went to represent

Liechtenstein in the UN General Assembly.

- What's Liechtenstein? - It's a city, dumbass.

[laughs] It's a country.

It's about the size of Glendale, but way less people.

Y-you guys really need to go to class more.

Anyway, Matt was out of his mind.

And he gets up in front of, like, a thousand people

and goes on this epic rant.

I mean, "Liechtenstein has acquired nukes."

We are tired of being a little bitch of a country!"

[laughter] He said that?

Then he grabs the gavel from the Secretary-General

and starts banging it.

He's like, "The Principality"

"of Liechtenstein demands respect.

Respect! We will not be your bitch!"

And he couldn't stop saying it. People were losing their minds.

- No way. - [laughter]

That's the real Matt.

Mr. Greer was actually cool.

[indistinct chatter]

Mr. Greer told the corniest jokes.

Like, dad jokes.

Uh, thank you all for coming.

This is quite a turnout.

First I want to give it up for Kayla, Austin, and Bree.

The mural is amazing.

[cheers and applause]

It's been six months since Mr. Greer's passing,

and we've had some time to process our feelings.

I thought, with the mural done,

this would be a good opportunity for us to share

thoughts or memories.

Anyone have something they'd like to contribute?

Okay, Olivia.

We had to read "Crime and Punishment"

for Mr. Greer's class.

That shit was emo as hell.

[laughter]

Sorry, Ms. Copeland.

Anyway, he said if we were bored after 100 pages,

we could study Kendrick Lamar.

I was like, "Okay, weird, but whatever, that's cool."

After 100 pages, I still liked the book.

We never got to study Kendrick Lamar.

But I'm gonna play a song for Mr. Greer.

[soft guitar music]

- So how was work today? - Change anyone's life?

[groans] I'm lucky if they

change their shirts.

Well, did you change anyone's shirt today?

Come on, it's Friday.

Let's just enjoy this cheap-ass wine and this delicious...

Trader Joe's Vegan Soy Chorizo.

- Vegan Soy Chorizo. - [laughs]

- [sighs] - Come on.

One... one good thing.

Um...

I had lunch with a kid today.

Um, total weirdo... in a good way.

The kind who'll grow up to a be a pretty cool adult.

- In five years. - Ten.

Once he learns personal boundaries.

[laughs]

I think you're really good with kids.

You'd really want a little Leigh?

I'd prefer a mini Matt.

Ah.

Well, things...

haven't changed for me.

I don't know how to be a dad.

No one does.

Anyway, we have time. I'm just...

wondering if it will ever be a possibility.

Honestly, I don't know.

That's okay.

Sorry, I have to...

So what's your weirdo's name?

- Barnaby. - Whoa.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

Kids' names these days.

Huxley, Delilah, Talulah...

[laughing] Uh, Django.

- No. - Gulliver.

- Namaste. - Stop it.

Namaste is in my third-period honors class.

[laughing] Both of her parents are lawyers.

Oh, my... if we... if we had a kid,

we would have to come up with some ridiculous name.

Hmm...

Like...

like Pickle.

- Pickle? - [laughing]

She would be an astronaut and a Supreme Court justice.

Oh, God, our nonexistent kid is a genius.

Obviously.

Pickle Greer?

[laughing]

God. Poor kid.

[laughing]

So, if you didn't want to be here, why come at all?

My mom made me.

[snorts] So that never ends.

Most days I do what I want.

Ride my motorcycle, I surf.

I mean, that's why I quit my job, so I could have six months

where my life was mine.

- You quit your job? - In this economy?

Sounds like you're having a midlife crisis.

- My dad is, too. - I'm not...

Whatever. You guys are babies,

so I really don't care what you think.

- Dare to care. - What did you say?

You have to dare to care, man. Your brother said it.

Hey, don't quote Matt at me.

Mr. Greer was grouchy a lot,

but at least he cared about us.

Cared about... Matt didn't even like you.

You guys drove him crazy.

All he ever did was talk about how much he hated this place.

Nice.

[sighs]

[soft chatter]

Guys, Mr. Greer's wife is here with us today.

Would you like to say a few words?

Okay.

When your husband dies...

Sorry, none of you have husbands.

Um... [chuckles]

Okay, when you...

when you lose someone, it's...

there's a-a hole

in your life where the person was.

I thought I knew what today was going to be, that I...

that I would come here and explain to you all

how amazing my husband was.

But you already knew that.

The hole wasn't just in my life.

It was here, too.

I just hope that Matt

knew how much he meant to all of you.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

[car horn honking]

Come on!

[door opens, closes]

Do you know what "Eisner" means?

It's an award for comics.

Why?

[chuckles]

I never noticed that before.

He always wanted to surf the Gold Coast.

So these were all things Matt wanted?

Does that say, "Pickle"?

- Thank you again. - Um...

I should get going.

[sobbing]

[phone buzzing]

[sobbing]

[breathing heavily] Drew.

- You're not gonna believe... - No, no, no.

I-I-I don't want to hear it, Leigh.

- You're out of excuses. - No, Drew, I...

Whatever you have, just send it now.

Fine.

[sighing]

[sobbing]

Okay.

Eyeliner, let's do this.

Let's talk about why we spend

all this time putting crap on our eyelids.

People have been doing it since Mesopotamia,

and my question is why?

Why are we trying to be okay

and normal on the outside

when there is a nuclear holocaust

happening on the inside?

[laughs]

I mean, I guess it's because if we try hard enough...

we can believe our own lies.

I know I did.

I believed my own face.

And I used...

Hey Lady Waterpoof Liquid Eyeliner

by Headturner's Cosmetics, in case you were wondering.

It's great for work, for weekend brunch,

for date night or for those days when a hole

in the universe opens up where your husband used to be

and you find yourself on the floor of a public restroom,

and it just doesn't come off,

no matter how much you cry.

There are definitely hundreds of diseases

now living on my face.

But my face...

Thanks to this stupid eyeliner,

looks just like it did when I left the house this morning.

When, like an idiot...

I still believed that the worst of this nightmare...

[breathing shakily] Was over.

- What's going on with Leigh? - She's falling apart.

And the studio is falling apart.

It's making me fall apart, quite literally.

Why would I want to be out in the world

with people who are having fun?

I won't take you anyplace fun.

I promise.

I thought you just lived at home and worked for your mom,

did whatever you want and basically had no problems.

I have problems.

With us being friends...

it's like I don't know... you're gonna find another Matt.

Where does that leave me?

You're gonna have this whole new life

that doesn't include me.

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