All language subtitles for Silicon.Valley.S06E04.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Richard, it's Maximo.

Now, remember how you refused
to take my money.

Well, Colin,
he did take my money.

-Now he is leaving your network.
-To go where?

Oh, to the network run
by my new friend, Laurie Bream.

(RETCHES)

-You guys, there's really
no other option.
-Yes, there is.

If Hooli won't sell us Foxhole,
we could just buy Hooli.

Big question.

How do we buy Hooli?

You want this deal to close,
you bring us the forms,

get everyone's hard signature
and then bring them to me.

You're not gonna turn your back
on 30 years

of making money together,
are you?

I don't want to be in business
with any of you people.

MONICA HALL:
Everybody's gathered out there,

so you should probably
say something.

Won't they be happy?
I freed them from Gavin.

Or your company
just swallowed theirs

and you fired their founder
and CEO.

♪ ♪

Richard:
All we wanted
was Foxhole,

and instead we got
all these Hooli people.

We really couldn't just
fire them, sight unseen?

Uh-uh. Tracy from HR
has to do an assessment

of each person first,
then we should can them.

Oh, hey. I think I know
that guy. Uh, yeah.

Dinesh:
What are you doing?
Did you just wave him in?

I-I don't know,
automatic social shit.

Hey, Ethan!
Uh... (chuckles)

-What are you doing here?
-You tell me, boss.

Uh, Ethan was
my first manager
when I was at Hooli.

I didn't know you
still worked there.

Yeah, well, we can't
all invent middle-out
compression.

Uh, anyway, I-I hope
I make the cut.

Yeah, well,
we're having to be creative
with the merger, so...

Yeah, totally.
That's why I figured
I could maybe help.

You could use
Hooli OS for your
entire mobile suite.

Yeah, we're not gonna
spend months porting

Hooli software over
to our protocol, so...

-But thanks.
-Yeah, it was
a good thought.

Yeah, you wouldn't have to.

When we iterated Hooli
OS 11, we reengineered

the entire network
layer to be compatible

with other protocols...
and you own it.

How quickly,
would you say,

you could, um, make it
work with PiperNet?

A few weeks with
almost zero refactor.

How much money do you think
that could save us?

So you guys are planning
to build your own

external antennas to deploy
for the Hawaii test?

-Why?
-The zero-start problem.

Until we have a critical
mass of users,

iOS and Android devices
don't have enough range.

Right, of course not,
but push-to-talk
HooliPhones do.

Dinesh:
HooliPhones?

You want us to roll out
our network on push-to-talk,

-janky-ass HooliPhones?
-(laughs mockingly)

Laugh it up, but,
uh, the fact that

they still have low power,
omnidirectional antennas

means they have
a radius of four miles.

What is your antenna's range?

-One mile?
-Gilfoyle: Wrong.

One-point-one-five.

Okay. Line of sight, though.

-Maybe.
-Richard,

you guys just bought
250,000 HooliPhones.

Instead of spending
more money on expensive
and mediocre antennas,

why not just give away
HooliPhones for the test?

Delete.

Richard:
You know, Ethan, could you

walk us through the Hooli OS
side of all this work?

Yeah, totally,
but I think it'd go faster

if I just took point
and your guys backed me up.

I'm sorry,
what do you mean,
back you up?

Guys, we are
in a huge hole here.

Whatever it takes
to get us out of it, please.

Um, why don't you talk
to Tracy in HR,

and you can get
your start-paperwork.

Cool! Looks I already
earned my keep,
huh, Patches?

(laughs) Patches.

Yeah. Oh, that's weird
that you remember that.

Um, so, Patches.
I'll tell them.

Uh, first
day at Hooli,

I wore this sweater
that had these, like,
elbow pads on it.

-Anyway, uh--
-HooliPhones?

Are you fucking serious?

You just laid down and let
that guy roll all over us.

Look, I don't wanna use
Hooli shit anymore
than you guys,

but this is for
the greater good
of the company.

This will get us
to a working test.

This will get us to Hawaii.

Hey! Holden.

I asked for a water.

(theme song playing)

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

Oh... Laurie.

This will be sound.
Excuse me one minute.

-Laurie.
-Oh, Monica.

-Hello.
-Hi.

I'm now using
touch as a means
to communicate friendship.

Uh-huh.

Hey, um, is
that Kara Swisher?

What do guys do in there?

We are uplifting each other
while we plan our annual

Women in Tech Empowerment panel.
Kara's moderating.

Oh my God.
Is that Susan--

Susan Wojcicki from YouTube.
Don't point, it's unseemly.

(sighs) Laurie, you do know
that I am the CFO

of a prominent tech company
and just personally led

-the acquisition of Hooli?
-Yes, I am aware.

My partner Maximo is,
hmm... unpleased.

I'm just saying,
I-I would love
to do the panel.

Why? You don't mentor,
you don't volunteer,

you don't develop
programs for women.

You've never shown
the slightest interest
in supporting women.

Of course I have!
Which is why

I wanna do your panel with
Susan Wojcicki from YouTube.

Well...

we do have a lot
of funny people.

You could add... balance.

Are you eating
the entire leaf?

It's amazing how wasteful
people in the West can be.

Gavin:
Hoover.

This book will send shockwaves
throughout the Valley.

Cold Ice Cream
and Hot Kisses.

This is about your
experience at Hooli?

No, no.
It's a coming-of-age story

about a lost,
yet handsome teen

growing up
one fateful summer in Maine.

Now, get that
to the publishers.

I want the hardback in my hand
by tomorrow lunchtime.

Sir, it takes
a bit longer than that.

We have to send it out
to publishing houses
and then find an editor.

Editors are for people
who can't write correctly
the first time.

We'll self-publish.

And this really isn't
about tech?

No. I've left tech for good.

Now, I have a chance
to do something important.

Write a thinly veiled
roman à clef

set in a whale-themed B and B.

Richard:
So look, Monica, um, I was
looking over the org chart,

and I think I'm gonna put
you in charge of Foxhole.

-What?
-Yeah.

I mean, while I know
that you and I were saying

that maybe some people
might find it a little
misogynist or offensive.

I think that we if we had
a woman at the helm,

it might change the optics,
and since you don't
really care--

No, I-I-I do care.
I care deeply.

No, you don't. I mean,
you literally said,

"If a bunch of dumb
Marines wanna cheat

on their dumb wives,
what the fuck do I care?"

I don't think I used
those exact words.

I'm pretty sure
you did, actually.

-You texted it to me
last night, see?
-No, but--

And then you also said,

"We don't have to smell it.
We just have to sell it.

-As long as those
fat fat fatties--"
-Okay.

I took an Ambien
last night, and probably

should've turned off my phone.
Can you delete those?

Okay. Monica,
just make it work.

Please? For women.

Hi.

Bertram Gilfoyle?

No.

I'm John.

Okay.

I brought the HooliPhones.
Would you like to see them?

I was told to help
you with integration.

You know what, John?

That would be grand.

Okay, here they are.

The push-to-talk
HooliPhone 13-X.

Here's a HooliPhone
right here.

And here's a HooliPhone
right here.

-And here's a--
-Stop talking.

Sit in that chair.

Do not touch or say anything.

John:
Okay.

Jared:
Oh my God.

Gwart, do you remember
how I-I told you

I found my birth father in that
militia in the Ozarks, but...

then it turned out
that guy was a fraud?

Well, um, I just went in
for some genetic testing

to-to confirm my diagnosis
of Marfan syndrome,

and it turns out that
my real parents are alive.

And they live in Santa Cruz.

And they're
still together.

What should I do?
Should I visit them?

Are you upset?

Should I have not allowed
somebody to sit so close?

Because I-I asked you
if it was okay.

If you had an issue,
you could've...

No. No. (chuckles)

It is my job to protect you.

That is my responsibility.

I shouldn't have put
you in that position.

I apologize.
Do you forgive me?

(laughing) Yeah!

Yeah, you're right!

I'll be splitting you guys
into teams of four,

then giving you guys different
test scenarios. Hey, Patches!

Hey! Uh, Holden said
that we were having
this thing upstairs.

Yeah, I moved it down here.
It's just a better space.

Go ahead, have a seat.
You're over there.

I said we should wait
for you to start, but--

The clock is ticking,
though, right?
We have stuff to do.

Busy, busy.

Oh. (chuckles)

Elbow pads.
Weird. Yeah, okay.

Uh, actually, the first day
I was at Hooli--

Yeah, I told them.
I told them.
They all laughed.

-(giggling)
-Oh. Heh.

Come on,
put it on, Patches.

-I don't wanna put it on.
-Do it! Be fun!

(clears throat)
Yeah, okay, sure.
I can be fun.

(chuckles)
It's kinda funny, I guess.

Yes!
There he is!

-There's our Patches!
-(scattered laughter)

Hey, listen, Richard.

You know I'm just joking
around with you, right?

We're all just having fun.
Thanks for being
a good sport, okay?

Sure. No problem.
Okay. Back to it.

Right! Okay,
so as I was saying,

with smaller groups,

we'll be able to make
faster decisions, right?

Light on our feet.
For example,

do we think this photo
of Richard is funny?

-(laughing)
-We do, don't we?

God...

We do!

Okay. Cool, uh,
guilty as charged.

Big cake lover. You got me.

Yeah. Well, I mean,
I was your boss
for a year,

so you know I have
some funny photos of you
squirreled away, right?

Uh, I didn't know that
was a thing bosses did,
but, yeah, maybe.

Speaking of which,
did you write that?

-Man: Ooh!
-Woman (laughing):
Oh, my God.

Gabe:
And sorted list size
is greater than

-plus, plus index?
-(laughing)

You ran a brute force
search on a sorted list?

Look, guys, it was
my first day, and...

-I was nervous,
and I was hurrying, so...
-Ethan: Really?

That's why you decided
to write the slowest
subroutine in history?

(laughing)

Anyone could've made
that mistake.

Yeah, it's true.
In fact, I could ask
for a show of hands,

but instead of doing that,
uh, I'll just, uh...

-Could you have
made that mistake?
-(laughing)

Could you have
made that mistake?

Could you have
made that mistake?

-Okay.
-Could you have
made that mistake?

The joke is that
he's doing a brute force
search of the room.

-Yeah, I know.
-Then, why did you do it?

-(laughter continuing)
-Ethan: Could you
have made that mistake?

Richard,
what the fuck was that?

It was just...
Ethan being Ethan.

He was acting like your boss,
and you were acting
like his noob employee.

No. Everyone knows
I'm the boss.

I think people were just excited
to, you know, razz the CEO.

-It's all in good fun.
-I did not have fun.

I watched you get kicked
in the balls for 90 minutes.

My balls hurt sympathetically
for your balls.

Take off that sweater!

It's fine.

I mean, yes, Ethan
can be a little prickly,

but he is gonna get us
to where we need to be.

And I don't mind
putting my ego aside for
the good of the company.

That guy humiliating you
was not good for the company.

He dominated you like
a silverback gorilla.

Do you know why the gorillas
respected Jane Goodall?

-Jane Goodall
studied chimpanzees.
-Wrong!

It's because she could kick
their ass, and they knew it.

You need to assert dominance
like Jane Goodall.

I have something
to show you.

You're gonna need this.

This is a video
of maximizing alphaness.

(heavy metal music playing)

What else happens?

Dinesh: It's just this,
then it repeats itself.

You just
kind of breathe

and subconsciously
absorb it.

Dinesh, this is the dumbest
thing I've ever seen.

Fuck yeah.

(beeping)

Hey, John.

Yeah?

Could you grab
my extra spudger?

I think it's on my desk,

next to my chess board.

Okay.

Cthulu limited edition, huh?

-That's right.
-Huh.

Anything else?

Nope.

Okay.

I am so glad
we could do this.

Yeah.

What are we doing,
exactly?

Well, I have had
my eye on you
for a while now.

It's what I like
to call, "mentoring
from a distance."

We haven't spoken more
than five words to each other

since you joined
the company.

That's
the distance part!

Look, I-I came
here to talk about

advancing
the careers of women,

specifically yours.

-Do you know how
we just acquired Foxhole?
-Of course.

Apparently, it's 90% men,

and almost all
the female users
are prostitutes.

Which makes it a very
challenging assignment.

It's also a big promotion

and strategically
important to the company.

And it's yours,
if you want it.

But, I mean, if you don't
think you can handle it,

I can just check in
with Becky, Nadia,

-Dani--
-No!

-I can do it.
-(sighs)

Awesome! For you!

♪ ♪

Caspian's heart
cracked open

like one of his father's
briny lobster traps.

"Hannah," he whispered.

-"I am not--"
-(coffee machine rumbling)

(rumbling stops)

"Hannah," he whispered.
"I am not a member

"of the prestigious
Prout's Neck Yacht Club.

-"Truth be told, I am but a--"
-(clattering loudly)

(rattling)

"Truth be told, I am
but a lowly man of the sea.

-She--"
-(steam hissing)

"She was my mistress,
but now, I pray

that you might be as well?"

Thank you.

-Name?
-Oh, I don't want
to buy your book.

I'm Allie Abrams, arts editor
at the Sacramento Bee.

Do you have a minute
for a quick interview?

I'll make the time.

Is it on? Running?

Firstly, I work in the parlor.

I use a 1968 IBM Selectric II.

In fact,
the tapping of the keys

inspired the idea
for Lana's blindness.

The tapping of her cane,
you see?

Oh.

I guess what I really
want to know is,

why isn't this
book about tech?

I'm an author.

Would you ask John Grisham
the same question,
or Jackie Collins?

Well, no, but they weren't
the head of a failed
tech company.

You think I failed.

I didn't fail tech.

Tech failed me.

Tech failed all of us. Look.

We should be
in a Waldenbooks,

but we're here,
in this decrepit
shithole, and why?

Because people buy books
online, thanks to Hool--

Amazon.

So, don't point fingers at me.

I didn't write about tech

because tech destroys worlds,

and I,
I wanted to create them.

(thumps)

May I have a token
for the restroom, please?

Well, there's not
a whole lot to the story.

Once you came along,

Susan and I realized
the timing was not right,

and we needed to give you up.

I appreciate how difficult
that must've been for you guys.

One of the hardest decisions
we ever had to make.

Um, thank you.

And I just want you to know,

that I understand
and I don't hold it

against you at all.

You guys had kids after me?

-Well, one was after.
-Pardon?

-Pete and Lisa
were before you.
-Right.

I don't understand. You...

I was your third child,
and-and you... you gave me up?

-Yeah. It just got way
too difficult for us.
-Mm. Yeah.

Stu:
Couldn't go
on as many flights.

Two parents, two kids--
that's a clear row across.

-Yeah.
-1A, B, C, and D.

So, you gave me up to simplify
your first-class air travel?

-Oh. No, it's more
complicated than that.
-Yeah.

Stu:
Yeah, we had car travel,

-and taxis.
-Mm-hmm.

We never really did
travel by train.

No, and I don't
do boats, so...

Well, you did enjoy
that trip down the Rhine.

I... said I did.

-Oh, you!
-(laughs)

Anyway, when we gave
you up, we realized...

-we had a huge mistake.
-You did?

Yeah. We realized we actually
did want a third child.

-Yep.
-Started trying
almost immediately,

and we lucked out
because Donald is
the best of the bunch.

Stu:
Yeah.

-Donald?
-Stu: Yeah, we love that name,

-so we just wanted
to use it again.
-(door opens)

-Oh! Speak of the angels,
they're here.
-They're here.

Wait, you invited
my birth siblings here?

-To meet me?
-(voices chattering)

-Hi, Mama.
-Hey.

Stu:
This is Peter.

This is Lisa.
This is Donald.

And this is, uh, Ken.
He's here to tell us

-about the solar situation
for the house...
-Ken?

...so, uh...

Yeah, we offer financing.

We just need one more minute,
and then we can go.

-All right.
-Bye.

We never told them
about you.

Didn't wanna make them sad.

-Yeah, I-I see.
-Stu: Yeah.

Well! This has been
really great.

We have...

-We have a family dinner.
-We have a dinner.

Every Thursday,
we have Italian food, so...

Although, tonight,
we're switching it up.
We're gonna do Chinese.

It was one of
the hardest decisions
we ever had to make.

Stu:
Yeah.

Well, uh, Ken,
we were underwhelmed
by your presentation.

♪ ♪

-Hey, John.
-Yeah?

Did you move
the white pawn here?

Opening move?

No.

Okay.

I'm gonna go hit the head.

I should be back
in about two minutes.

Okay.

Where's
the dunce cap?

(muffled heavy metal
music playing)

-(music stops)
-(Ethan sighs)

Hey, uh...
(clears throat)

Uh, Ethan?

-Yeah, Patches?
-(chuckles)

I-I was actually
thinking that maybe

we stop with the nickname.

We had our fun,

but maybe stop all the jokes
about my coding mistake

from years ago,
and also...

stop calling me Patches.

Yeah. Okay.

Butt Stuff.

(laughs)
You remember that?

When you walked around
all day and your T-shirt was

stuck all the way
into your underwear, all day?

I mean, I remember it,
but no to Butt Stuff.

-Um, just call me Richard.
-Here's the thing.

That name makes
me happy, and...

if you had as much
managerial experience as I do,

you'd know that keeping
your star coder happy

is how you get the best work,
and you guys need me

to do really good work
because I'm kind of

the only person here
that can do it, so...

I'm just gonna keep
calling you Patches.

Is that okay with you?
Patches?

-Oh!
-Richard: Aw!

So, it's complicated.

You were the clear
aggressor in this incident,

but you're also
the only one who got hurt.

You hit him
in the forehead,

which is the single hardest
part of the human body.

I would never advocate violence,
but when you make a fist,

you wanna keep your
thumb on the outside.

Yeah. Uh, I know
that now, but at the time,
I couldn't remember.

Ron:
You did great, Champ,
but here's the bottom line.

We gotta cool our
shit down with this guy

before he lawyers up
and sues us a new hiney-hole.

You need to go talk to Ethan
and give him a sincere

-and honest apology.
-Without admitting any fault

or describing what
happened in any way.

♪ ♪

Jared:
I asked myself,
why would they reject me

and not their three other
biological children?

-And that is
when it hit me.
-(Simon game beeping)

It's me.

I mean, even as a baby,
I must have

somehow rejected them,

and every subsequent
foster family I've ever had.

Oh. Heavy.

I rejected Richard,

and every person who has
ever offered me safe harbor,

and it has to stop.

I have to commit to Gwart.

No matter how difficult it gets,

even if we're miserable
together, I am going

to support her work,
and bring her food,

and-and put her in her
prescription sleeping bag

when she starts to thrash.

It is the only path forward.

Hey, that's
the best, man.

I feel like you made
a lot of progress.

-Ha!
-(Simon game beeping)

Gwart's doll gloves.

I'm gonna make her so happy.

My book is
a fucking disaster.

(sighs) What have you got there?

Oh, um,

MSNBC wanted to interview
you about being

an "anti-tech evangelist."
Their words.

I told them you only wanted
to speak about two things:

cold ice cream,
and hot kisses.

Who-who was it?
Was it Hayes or O'Donnell?

Maddow, sir.

-Really?
-Yes.

I'm sure all the major outlets
would love to have you...

if you discuss tech.

So...

(sighs) Do I honor my truth
as a starving author,

or do I return to
the world I've scorned?

What did Publisher's Weekly
say about my book?

Publisher's Weekly is a...
terrible magazine, sir.

Call Maddow.

Yes, sir.

Bishop to E6.

-Checkmate.
-Fuck.

Okay, so that's...

42 games
for me, and...

zero for you.

You wanna play again?

I think I'll take a break.

Okay.

(beeping)

Okay.

-(applause, laughter)
-Swisher: Well,
thank you so much

for the hilarious
Susan Wojcicki,
the CEO of YouTube.

It's gonna be a very
hard act to follow,

but here to try is Monica Hall,

the CFO of Pied Piper.
Come on up, Monica.

(applauding)

-Thank you for coming, Monica.
-Thank you.

I was thrilled
and surprised to be invited.

So, let's cut
right to the chase.

You recently acquired Hooli,

and one of
its properties

is Foxhole, which
is apparently an app

that military members use
to source prostitutes.

Yes, and that's something

I'm not involved
with on any level.

It's being run now
by a young woman

I promoted,
Priyanka Singh.

I talked to Priyanka
before this panel.

Priyanka, are you
in this audience?

-Yes, hi!
-Hey, Priyanka.
How you doing?

Why don't you get up
and tell us about it?

(clears throat) Well,

when I first took over
the app, I was pretty lost,

but, luckily, I was able
to call on my network
of strong, female coders.

(cheering)

And almost
immediately, we came up

with a plan to rebuild Foxhole
from the bottom up.

Our first step will be
to unionize the sex
workers on the app.

We believe that friends
with benefits deserve benefits

because sex work is work.

(applauding)

And! And!
Why is it only for men?

Don't our female soldiers, who
put their bodies in harm's way,

deserve to put their
bodies in pleasure's way?

(cheering)

I think it might be a good
idea to bring Priyanka up here.

-Priyanka, why
don't you come up?
-Uh, okay.

(applauding)

Swisher:
So, Priyanka,

the business
of sex positive feminism...

Monica, move.

Like we say at Foxhole,
if you can scale Tinder,

you can scale
sex positive feminism.

-(applause)
-There's a seat in back.

♪ ♪

You.

-Who are you?
-(squelches)

Ethan. Hey, um...

I owe you an apology.

It's bad enough
that I used brute force

to search
a sorted list, but--

No, Richard.
I'm the one

that needs to apologize
to you. You're my boss,

and the way
that I talked to you
was completely outta line.

I'm just feeling
insecure about

working for a guy
that used to work for me.

-Really?
-Yeah.

I'm so happy to be here, and...

I'd love to stick around
if you'll have me.

Yeah,
of course. Yeah.

Great, man.
Thank you so much.

Sorry again. Thank you,
this is great.

Dinesh, I'm really
looking forward

to finishing up this project
with you and your team.

-Oh, it's whatever, dawg.
-Cool.

What did you
do to that guy?

-I watched that video.
-See? I told you! We're alphas!

-Fuck yeah!
-Fuck yeah.

Hey, uh, don't show
that video to Gilfoyle.

Got it.

Fuck yeah.

♪ ♪

-Holden: I see
it's been handled.
-Yes.

Good.

So, I trust there's
no more need for any--

No. That won't
be necessary.

Let's hope not.

Can I go now, please?

Very well.
Good job on the plate.

Holden,

did you threaten
Ethan in some way?

He was causing problems

-for Richard.
-Oh.

Well, it's...

it's good to know
that he's in good hands.

Don't you have
somewhere to be?

-(phone chimes)
-Uh... sorry. Um...

It's from Gwart.

"I'm dissolving my company
and taking a job elsewhere.

"Your employment is terminated.

P.S. Those aren't
my doll's gloves."

Oh.

So, then I...

I'm free to return
to work with Richard.

Your position's
been filled.

("First Light of the Day"
by Geto Boys playing)

Oh, um...

No, it hasn't.

♪ ♪

♪ Step out on my corner
with my box of rocks ♪

♪ Drama covers my hood
from blocks and blocks ♪

♪ See my homie
that I hang with ♪

♪ Hit him up with
the deuce thumb thang shit ♪

♪ Back then it came
with the love ♪

♪ And niggas wasn't
tripping over scratch ♪

♪ 'Cause we took turns
and we both stacked stacks ♪

♪ And if you had a customer
you had him for life ♪

♪ 'Cause Brad the true
hustler granted you right ♪

♪ 'Cause if we gonna stack
leaves, then we gotta
get along ♪

♪ And he who disagrees
then gotta get him gone ♪

♪ 'Cause if you start to get
paid then niggas wanna flex ♪

♪ And ain't no
squabble these days ♪

♪ So niggas brought the tech,
and when they find you ♪

♪ They sending you
to immortal ground ♪

♪ And ain't no coming back
from that shit you going down ♪

♪ My pockets ain't hurting,
that's for certain ♪

♪ You see a broke
motherfucker, it's a burden ♪

♪ I'm the first motherfucker
on the block for the cheese ♪

♪ And I'm the last
motherfucker to leave ♪

♪ My pockets ain't hurting
that's for certain ♪

♪ You see a broke motherfucker,
it's a burden... ♪

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

I'm sorry, what is this?

RUSS HANNEMAN: Russfest.
Three days of partying

on a plot of land so far out
even Nevada barely wants it.

REPORTER:
What's the newest killer app
coming out of Silicon Valley?

Are you Tethical?

RICHARD HENDRICKS: No one
in town is ever gonna sign

this hypocrite's
hypocritical garbage.

Hey, Richard,
are you signing Gavin's pledge?

Aw... what?

TRACY: I'd like to talk to you
about your Piper Pulse.

Your coworkers find you
unapproachable,

with an unsettling stare.

Okay.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪