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1
00:00:01,943 --> 00:00:03,442
I am about to sit down
with AT&T,
2
00:00:03,526 --> 00:00:05,025
trying to close
this massive deal,
3
00:00:05,109 --> 00:00:08,150
but that all depends
on getting Hawaii right.
4
00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:10,359
And you would rather do Hawaii
than RussFest?
5
00:00:10,442 --> 00:00:13,609
I would rather...
do my own mother...
6
00:00:14,150 --> 00:00:15,275
than RussFest.
7
00:00:15,818 --> 00:00:18,025
I've made myself the CEO
of YaoNet,
8
00:00:18,109 --> 00:00:19,693
which I'm moving back to the US.
9
00:00:20,067 --> 00:00:23,275
Son of Anton, it's the name I've
given our new inference API.
10
00:00:23,359 --> 00:00:24,401
He can do whatever he wants.
11
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:27,859
I call for the attorney general
of the state of California
12
00:00:27,943 --> 00:00:30,025
to launch
an immediate investigation
13
00:00:30,109 --> 00:00:32,693
of my conduct as CEO of Hooli.
14
00:00:32,776 --> 00:00:35,359
Enjoy the injunction, thumb ass.
15
00:00:35,567 --> 00:00:37,317
Don de la Renta,
the AG of California,
16
00:00:37,401 --> 00:00:38,943
-is gonna do
what I tell him to do.
-Why?
17
00:00:39,025 --> 00:00:40,067
'Cause I have dirt on him.
18
00:00:40,150 --> 00:00:43,275
You ready to dump Hawaii
and join RussFest?
19
00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:46,025
DINESH CHUGTAI: It's beautiful.
20
00:00:46,109 --> 00:00:47,150
Boom!
21
00:00:53,943 --> 00:00:56,317
Richard:
And upon entering RussFest,
22
00:00:56,401 --> 00:00:57,818
each attendee will be given
23
00:00:57,901 --> 00:01:00,025
a PiperNet enabled smartphone,
24
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:04,943
which will give them access
to secure messaging,
social, voice, Internet--
25
00:01:05,025 --> 00:01:06,609
So boring, right?
26
00:01:06,693 --> 00:01:09,275
You see the new logo? Huh?
27
00:01:09,359 --> 00:01:10,943
Huh? Check.
28
00:01:11,025 --> 00:01:13,567
One, two, three.
29
00:01:13,651 --> 00:01:15,401
Tres Comas Tequila.
30
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:16,943
My brand. Dollar sign.
31
00:01:17,025 --> 00:01:18,442
Billionaire.
32
00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:20,526
Russ. Fest!
33
00:01:21,693 --> 00:01:23,693
RussFest.
34
00:01:23,776 --> 00:01:25,109
Right.
35
00:01:25,192 --> 00:01:27,567
No, yeah, it's-it's
gonna be good. Uh--
36
00:01:27,651 --> 00:01:29,275
-Yeah, it's gonna be great.
-Yeah.
37
00:01:29,359 --> 00:01:31,359
Well, uh,
anyway, uh--
38
00:01:31,442 --> 00:01:33,609
Crazy Town's
gonna be there.
39
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:36,025
So is Puddle of Mudd.
You know Puddle of Mudd?
40
00:01:36,776 --> 00:01:37,943
No.
41
00:01:38,025 --> 00:01:39,693
Fucking Puddle of Mudd!
Dude, listen.
42
00:01:39,776 --> 00:01:42,859
(singing along):
♪ Everything is so blurry ♪
43
00:01:42,943 --> 00:01:45,859
♪ And everyone's so fake ♪
44
00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:48,859
♪ And everyone is empty ♪
45
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:51,651
♪ And everything
is so messed up ♪
46
00:01:51,734 --> 00:01:54,275
Right? Yeah, you know
Puddle of Mudd. Awesome.
47
00:01:54,359 --> 00:01:56,317
This is a good meeting,
guys, excellent.
48
00:01:56,401 --> 00:01:59,984
I gotta jet. Bye, guys.
Cory, where you at, dawg?
49
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:03,025
We're really excited
about the possibility
of working with you.
50
00:02:03,109 --> 00:02:04,651
Michael:
Cool.
51
00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:09,901
(chuckles) Yeah. So,
uh, what do you, uh...
52
00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:13,442
What do you think,
Michael? Uh, you and us.
53
00:02:13,526 --> 00:02:15,984
AT&T, Pied Piper.
Dealy deal.
54
00:02:16,067 --> 00:02:17,984
Richard,
your tech is impressive,
55
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,943
but we're going with YaoNet,
they're a safe bet.
56
00:02:21,025 --> 00:02:22,818
And by the way,
it doesn't seem like
57
00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:24,943
you're telling your people out
there what's really happening.
58
00:02:25,025 --> 00:02:27,609
-Hang on--
-No. Maybe you can do
a deal with someone else.
59
00:02:27,693 --> 00:02:30,150
-You know, there's, uh--
-No, no, we can't, Michael.
60
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:32,150
Look, we already have
an agreement in principle.
61
00:02:32,234 --> 00:02:34,984
Okay, well, if you have
an agreement in principle,
62
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,984
you can have a disagreement
in principle.
63
00:02:37,067 --> 00:02:39,526
I'm sorry.
I'm very sorry.
64
00:02:39,609 --> 00:02:43,401
Michael, I'm sorry that you're
missing out on this opportunity.
65
00:02:44,776 --> 00:02:48,109
Honestly, I walk everyone
to their car. Yeah.
66
00:02:49,442 --> 00:02:51,317
What can we do
to sweeten the pot?
67
00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:54,651
You know? Oh, we could
add cashless transactions.
68
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:56,734
What if everything is
handled on the phone?
69
00:02:56,818 --> 00:03:00,859
-Right? You use it to swipe
into parties or VIP areas--
-Richard,
70
00:03:00,943 --> 00:03:02,984
this is done.
71
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:05,526
-Okay?
-What about holograms?
72
00:03:05,609 --> 00:03:08,943
Okay, this is your last chance.
Are you in or out?
73
00:03:11,818 --> 00:03:13,025
(tires screech)
74
00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,693
-Richard: Fuck!
-That appears to imply out.
75
00:03:16,776 --> 00:03:18,526
Fuck. Fuck it. Fucker.
76
00:03:18,609 --> 00:03:21,484
-Cockfucker.
-Richard, people in there
have been working themselves
77
00:03:21,567 --> 00:03:23,984
half to death for
weeks for no pay.
78
00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:26,317
This is not going
to go over well.
79
00:03:27,651 --> 00:03:29,984
I'm gonna wait out here
while you go in and tell them.
80
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:32,567
I'm not gonna say anything.
81
00:03:33,275 --> 00:03:37,109
If I keep my mouth shut,
then there's still a chance
at snaking the YaoNet deal.
82
00:03:37,192 --> 00:03:39,359
But if I tell everyone in there
what's really going on,
83
00:03:39,442 --> 00:03:41,526
we won't make it to RussFest,
and we'll be dead.
84
00:03:41,609 --> 00:03:44,484
-Is that what you want?
-That's a fair point.
85
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,150
-That's what I thought. Okay.
-(claps)
86
00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,359
Let's get back
to work. Let's go.
87
00:03:50,025 --> 00:03:53,025
If this comes out, I'll cover
your ass if you cover mine.
88
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:54,776
If what comes out?
89
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,859
-My man.
-No.
90
00:03:56,943 --> 00:03:59,651
(theme song playing)
91
00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:11,317
♪ ♪
92
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,192
(sighs)
93
00:04:16,275 --> 00:04:17,734
Oh!
94
00:04:21,025 --> 00:04:22,442
(chuckling)
95
00:04:22,526 --> 00:04:24,901
Dodgy gadin,
my merry knights of Piper.
96
00:04:24,984 --> 00:04:26,275
Sir Owen,
97
00:04:26,359 --> 00:04:29,109
doing valiant battle with
the authentication service.
98
00:04:29,192 --> 00:04:30,609
Yes, good. Yeah.
99
00:04:30,693 --> 00:04:33,234
Oh, and prithee, Becky,
100
00:04:33,317 --> 00:04:34,275
my queen,
101
00:04:34,359 --> 00:04:36,984
how goeth
cashless payments?
102
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:38,609
Russ's pricing keeps
tripping us up.
103
00:04:38,693 --> 00:04:40,025
-Okay, how so?
-Well,
104
00:04:40,109 --> 00:04:42,109
this morning, he decided
everyone at RussFest
105
00:04:42,192 --> 00:04:43,359
should be a billionaire,
106
00:04:43,442 --> 00:04:45,734
so every dollar someone
puts into their account
107
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:47,859
will now be worth
one billion RussBucks.
108
00:04:47,943 --> 00:04:49,192
Zwoons!
109
00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:52,651
So, what, like
a sandwich will be worth
110
00:04:52,734 --> 00:04:54,359
15 billion RussBucks
or something?
111
00:04:54,442 --> 00:04:56,818
Fourteen billion,
nine hundred and
ninety-nine million,
112
00:04:56,901 --> 00:04:58,109
nine hundred
and ninety-nine thousand,
113
00:04:58,192 --> 00:04:59,484
nine hundred
and ninety-nine RussBucks
114
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,025
and ninety-nine RussCents.
115
00:05:01,109 --> 00:05:03,150
because he thought
that would sound cheaper.
116
00:05:03,234 --> 00:05:04,984
It's kind of screwing
up the interface,
117
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,984
but the whole AT&T deal
is riding on this, right?
118
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,317
We'll get there.
119
00:05:09,401 --> 00:05:10,984
Good. Okay. Excellent.
120
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:16,234
Well, uh, code like the wind,
my lady. (chuckles) Yeah.
121
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,359
Ho, ho! Good Friar Gabriel.
122
00:05:18,442 --> 00:05:22,192
How dost thou fair with
the ticketing module? (grunts)
123
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:24,609
It's gone.
124
00:05:25,401 --> 00:05:26,734
What do you mean gone?
125
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:29,526
For some reason, Gilfoyle
deleted the whole thing
126
00:05:29,609 --> 00:05:31,401
-a few minutes ago.
-What?
127
00:05:31,484 --> 00:05:33,150
Yeah.
128
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:36,192
-Gilfoyle?
-Yes, Richard. I'm aware.
129
00:05:36,275 --> 00:05:37,984
The drone dispatching
code has been deleted,
130
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:41,150
and I'm working very hard
to restore the right version.
131
00:05:41,234 --> 00:05:42,734
Whoa, whoa. Drone code?
132
00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:45,234
Gabe just told me
that the ticketing module
got deleted.
133
00:05:45,317 --> 00:05:47,150
Ticketing, too?
134
00:05:47,234 --> 00:05:49,567
Fuck, that's problematic.
I'll get on that next.
135
00:05:49,651 --> 00:05:51,901
What the fuck is going on?
136
00:05:52,484 --> 00:05:53,859
Based on the amount
of work left to do
137
00:05:53,943 --> 00:05:55,776
and the number of hours
left before the festival,
138
00:05:55,859 --> 00:05:57,609
I decided to
task Son of Anton
139
00:05:57,693 --> 00:06:00,526
to use machine learning
to debug some of our code.
140
00:06:00,609 --> 00:06:03,984
What? Gilfoyle,
are you fucking kidding me?
141
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:06,192
You gave your AI permission
142
00:06:06,275 --> 00:06:08,693
to overwrite code in
the internal file system?
143
00:06:08,776 --> 00:06:11,192
-Were you gonna
tell me about this?
-No.
144
00:06:11,776 --> 00:06:13,651
I thought that was
the company policy
145
00:06:13,734 --> 00:06:15,651
-these days.
-Okay, well,
146
00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:18,234
your AI just failed,
epically.
147
00:06:18,317 --> 00:06:20,484
That's unclear.
148
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,192
It's possible that
Son of Anton decided that
149
00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:24,818
the most efficient way
to get rid of all the bugs
150
00:06:24,901 --> 00:06:26,317
was to get rid
of all the software,
151
00:06:26,401 --> 00:06:29,317
which is technically
and statistically correct.
152
00:06:29,401 --> 00:06:32,067
But artificial neural nets
are sort of a black box,
153
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,651
-so we'll never know for sure.
-Dinesh: Hey, Richard.
154
00:06:34,734 --> 00:06:38,150
Did you order meat?
Like a bunch of meat?
155
00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:42,484
Like 4,000 pounds of meat?
156
00:06:43,818 --> 00:06:45,567
Interesting.
157
00:06:45,651 --> 00:06:48,734
I put Son of Anton
on finding us cheap
hamburgers for lunch.
158
00:06:48,818 --> 00:06:52,609
It looks like
the reward function was
a little under-specified.
159
00:06:52,693 --> 00:06:55,109
Okay, from now on,
Son of Anton is banned.
160
00:06:55,192 --> 00:06:58,526
Just write code like a normal
human fucking being, please.
161
00:06:58,609 --> 00:07:00,150
Dinesh:
Hey, Gilfoyle.
162
00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:03,776
So, I've been
thinking about your AI,
and its many deficits.
163
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:07,526
I think Son of Anton's issue
might be how it's handling
reward uncertainty.
164
00:07:07,609 --> 00:07:09,943
Your issue may be insecurity,
165
00:07:10,025 --> 00:07:13,526
masked by false bravado
and unisex cologne.
166
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:16,150
Fuck off. It's not unisex.
167
00:07:16,234 --> 00:07:17,359
(sniffs)
168
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:21,150
♪ ♪
169
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,943
Hey, um,
Richard?
170
00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:27,109
I was curious if you had
a moment to clear the air.
171
00:07:27,192 --> 00:07:28,567
Is this about Holden?
172
00:07:28,651 --> 00:07:30,901
No. Holden's a bitch
and he quit.
173
00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:32,651
No, I-I wanted
to talk to you
174
00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,651
about the Gwart-shaped
tension between us.
175
00:07:35,734 --> 00:07:37,776
You know, she and I worked
very closely together,
176
00:07:37,859 --> 00:07:40,359
and now she's
working for YaoNet.
177
00:07:40,442 --> 00:07:41,901
She's, essentially,
the enemy,
178
00:07:41,984 --> 00:07:44,776
so it would be fair
for you to have concerns.
179
00:07:44,859 --> 00:07:46,317
I have no concerns.
180
00:07:46,401 --> 00:07:47,943
Okay, good.
181
00:07:48,025 --> 00:07:50,275
Because I don't think
about her, you know,
182
00:07:50,359 --> 00:07:52,317
or if she's hungry
or cold right now,
183
00:07:52,401 --> 00:07:55,109
or if she's still giving most
of her income to Rand Paul.
184
00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:56,984
Richard!
185
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:59,317
Check it! Okay.
186
00:07:59,401 --> 00:08:01,025
Hologram question.
187
00:08:01,109 --> 00:08:04,901
You told AT&T that the hologram
would be interactive, right?
188
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,609
-Yes.
-See, asshole?
189
00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:09,567
My hologram can 100%
190
00:08:09,651 --> 00:08:11,734
dry hump festival-goers
from behind.
191
00:08:11,818 --> 00:08:13,943
If they ask for it.
Hashtag woke.
192
00:08:14,025 --> 00:08:16,401
All right.
Let's go!
193
00:08:16,484 --> 00:08:19,192
Spidey jump.
194
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:22,401
♪ ♪
195
00:08:34,609 --> 00:08:37,901
♪ ♪
196
00:08:45,109 --> 00:08:47,192
Ticketing's
running smoothly.
197
00:08:47,275 --> 00:08:49,651
Mobile purchasing
seems stable.
198
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:50,693
That's good.
199
00:08:50,776 --> 00:08:53,067
-Russ. Hey.
-I fucked up, Richard.
200
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:55,234
Why did I make one dollar
worth a billion RussBucks?
201
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,359
I mean, everyone
wants to be a billionaire,
but they didn't earn it,
202
00:08:57,442 --> 00:08:59,567
so are they gonna feel
bad about themselves?
Why would I do that?
203
00:08:59,651 --> 00:09:03,109
-I guess because I'm an asshole
and I wanna have a bad festival!
-Richard: No, no, Russ.
204
00:09:03,192 --> 00:09:05,401
Don't worry about it.
Everything is amazing.
205
00:09:05,484 --> 00:09:07,067
-Yeah?
-Yeah, I tell you what.
206
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,275
Why don't we see the hologram?
207
00:09:09,359 --> 00:09:11,567
-The hologram's ready?
-It's up.
208
00:09:12,484 --> 00:09:14,150
-Yeah, let's go
see the hologram.
-Okay, come on.
209
00:09:14,234 --> 00:09:17,025
-This way. (chuckling)
-Fuck yeah!
Fucking hologram!
210
00:09:18,401 --> 00:09:20,484
♪ ♪
211
00:09:25,234 --> 00:09:27,359
(noisy chattering)
212
00:09:29,401 --> 00:09:31,526
(hologram humming)
213
00:09:32,859 --> 00:09:36,109
-Richard: See? There he is.
-Russ: Okay.
214
00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:39,109
Yeah, that's
pretty sweet.
215
00:09:39,192 --> 00:09:40,859
Fist bump!
216
00:09:40,943 --> 00:09:41,859
Dry hump!
217
00:09:42,693 --> 00:09:44,818
-Double guns!
-(crackling)
218
00:09:44,901 --> 00:09:46,359
Wait, what's it doing?
219
00:09:49,109 --> 00:09:50,317
Richard,
what the fuck?
220
00:09:51,818 --> 00:09:53,109
Well, uh, uh...
221
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:54,859
Once more people show up,
222
00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:57,150
the network effect
will take over,
223
00:09:57,234 --> 00:09:58,776
and it will stabilize,
I promise.
224
00:09:58,859 --> 00:10:00,859
Do you swear? Because
one time, I threw a party
225
00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:03,109
and David Copperfield
said it was beat.
226
00:10:03,192 --> 00:10:05,776
-Promise me that this
will not be beat.
-It won't be beat.
227
00:10:05,859 --> 00:10:08,359
-Okay. Okay.
-Yeah.
228
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,401
I know, I know.
Why did I wear these pants?
229
00:10:11,484 --> 00:10:13,442
Part denim,
part leather.
230
00:10:13,526 --> 00:10:14,776
Pick a lane, Russ.
231
00:10:14,859 --> 00:10:16,651
Fuck. Fuck.
232
00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:19,359
Fuck, I'm gonna
change my pants!
233
00:10:19,442 --> 00:10:20,776
(beeps)
234
00:10:27,776 --> 00:10:30,109
Richard:
Jared, what are
you doing? Come on!
235
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:34,609
Hey, what the fuck is going on?
236
00:10:34,693 --> 00:10:36,442
Russ's hologram is
glitching like crazy.
237
00:10:36,526 --> 00:10:37,901
Dinesh: We don't know.
Everything's lagging:
238
00:10:37,984 --> 00:10:40,150
our apps,
third party apps,
transactions.
239
00:10:40,234 --> 00:10:43,150
Gilfoyle:
Everything was fine
and then the network
started deteriorating.
240
00:10:43,234 --> 00:10:46,317
We should be way closer
to 100% capacity by now.
241
00:10:46,401 --> 00:10:48,609
I'm running diagnostics,
but I haven't found anything.
242
00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:51,317
Also, this trailer
is filled with ants.
243
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,317
Fucking Gabe.
244
00:10:53,401 --> 00:10:55,526
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I don't know anything
245
00:10:55,609 --> 00:10:58,275
about a Pied Piper
girls' coding camp.
246
00:10:58,359 --> 00:11:01,484
Oh, ask Priyanka. That sounds
like her bag of bullshit.
247
00:11:01,567 --> 00:11:03,609
I did,
it's not hers.
248
00:11:03,693 --> 00:11:06,192
I'm sorry. You said
you spoke to an employee
249
00:11:06,275 --> 00:11:08,275
named Eric Bachman?
250
00:11:10,025 --> 00:11:12,150
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
251
00:11:12,234 --> 00:11:14,317
(whispering):
Hey. Give me that.
252
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:18,192
Hi. Does your Eric Bachman
253
00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:20,275
have a Chinese accent?
254
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:32,734
Okay. I tweaked the microwave
backhaul antennas.
255
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,943
Did that make any
difference to the...
256
00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:37,776
Is there something
you wanna tell us?
257
00:11:38,901 --> 00:11:41,067
I respect you all?
258
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,567
(beeps)
259
00:11:42,651 --> 00:11:45,401
Maximo:
Hello. I am giving
a press conference,
260
00:11:45,484 --> 00:11:49,067
and I am so happy to be in
partnership with Ah-Tay-ee-Tay.
261
00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,150
You can surf our
decentralized Internet
262
00:11:51,234 --> 00:11:54,317
like Hawaiian surfers
can surf the big waves.
263
00:11:54,401 --> 00:11:55,484
(beeps)
264
00:11:56,818 --> 00:11:59,150
Whoa. Bombshell.
265
00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,984
Michael must've known
they were going with YaoNet.
266
00:12:02,484 --> 00:12:04,359
Did you know?
267
00:12:05,401 --> 00:12:06,734
You knew,
268
00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:08,818
and you added
more features.
269
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:11,859
Ticketing, banking,
the fucking hologram.
270
00:12:11,943 --> 00:12:14,359
You've had us on
a death march for nothing.
271
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,651
What?
Richard! No.
272
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,567
-Aah!
-(clatters)
273
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:23,192
(sighs) Gilfoyle,
you're being awfully quiet.
274
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,776
-Did you know?
-Richard: Now look, guys,
275
00:12:25,859 --> 00:12:28,776
these deals never
really ever close.
276
00:12:28,859 --> 00:12:31,693
Danny:
"AT&T and YaoNet close deal."
277
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,192
That seems pretty
closed to me.
278
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,901
My guys.
279
00:12:35,984 --> 00:12:38,067
How dare you do
this to my guys?
280
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:41,109
Can we just please have
this discussion later
281
00:12:41,192 --> 00:12:42,943
because right now,
we need to figure out--
282
00:12:43,025 --> 00:12:45,150
We? Who's we?
283
00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:47,192
-We're out.
-Yeah.
284
00:12:48,359 --> 00:12:50,818
What? Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
285
00:12:50,901 --> 00:12:51,859
My guys.
286
00:12:51,943 --> 00:12:54,109
-(chair rattling)
-Gabe...
287
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,192
You can go.
288
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:58,734
I'll contact you all later
for your exit interviews,
289
00:12:58,818 --> 00:13:00,693
and I'm sorry about the ants.
290
00:13:00,776 --> 00:13:03,192
Well, at least
we all stuck together.
291
00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:04,693
Richard:
Okay. Look,
292
00:13:04,776 --> 00:13:07,275
all the systems are built.
293
00:13:07,359 --> 00:13:09,984
I mean, screw those guys
for leaving. Their loss.
294
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:11,734
We can still do this
without them, right?
295
00:13:11,818 --> 00:13:13,818
No. Unless
the three of us
296
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:17,150
stay up 24 hours a day for
three days in a row. Fuck.
297
00:13:17,234 --> 00:13:19,317
Yeah, exactly! Okay.
All we need to do is just
298
00:13:19,401 --> 00:13:22,275
find the bug that's
stalling us and squash it,
299
00:13:22,359 --> 00:13:24,442
just like these fucking ants.
300
00:13:24,526 --> 00:13:27,693
No sleep for three
days straight.
301
00:13:27,776 --> 00:13:28,901
Sweet.
302
00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:34,901
-Dinesh: Is that Gwart?
-Oh, no. It's a garbage can.
303
00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:37,734
Dinesh:
No, that's Gwart.
304
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,651
Well, she works
for YaoNet,
305
00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:42,109
so what is
she doing here?
306
00:13:42,192 --> 00:13:45,484
And why does she have access
to the staff only area?
307
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:48,651
Gwart hates Puddle of Mudd.
She's a Linkin Park girl.
308
00:13:48,734 --> 00:13:51,234
♪ ♪
309
00:13:57,109 --> 00:13:59,275
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
310
00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:02,567
♪ ♪
311
00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:18,859
Big Head! What the hell
is going on here?
312
00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:21,359
-What do you mean?
-Jian-Yang: Who let her in?
313
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,734
I take one
lousy shit...
314
00:14:23,818 --> 00:14:26,901
Jian-Yang,
what is going on here?
315
00:14:26,984 --> 00:14:29,275
All girls
coding camp.
316
00:14:29,359 --> 00:14:31,442
I support woman.
317
00:14:31,526 --> 00:14:34,484
Mr. Eric,
I'm finished.
318
00:14:36,984 --> 00:14:40,067
"This diet cream helped
my husband lose weight.
319
00:14:40,150 --> 00:14:43,150
He was fat fuck. Now, he not.
320
00:14:43,234 --> 00:14:45,693
Fi star, the end."
321
00:14:45,776 --> 00:14:47,776
I wrote exactly like
Mr. Eric told me to.
322
00:14:47,859 --> 00:14:50,025
It's very good, Sophie.
323
00:14:50,109 --> 00:14:51,818
Very good.
324
00:14:53,943 --> 00:14:55,776
You're using underage girls
325
00:14:55,859 --> 00:14:59,109
as slave labor for a fake
Amazon review farm?
326
00:14:59,192 --> 00:15:00,192
Yes.
327
00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,984
And-And you're using
the Pied Piper name?
328
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,442
Yes.
329
00:15:05,984 --> 00:15:07,609
It's okay.
330
00:15:07,693 --> 00:15:08,859
I have money.
331
00:15:08,943 --> 00:15:09,901
(scoffs)
332
00:15:10,025 --> 00:15:12,567
Girls! Call your parents.
333
00:15:15,317 --> 00:15:18,526
-Jared: God, that really is her.
-Richard: What the fuck?
334
00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,943
It's sabotage.
335
00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:24,067
Guys, nobody's
eating the peyote.
Will you eat the peyote,
336
00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:27,025
and then that'll break
the ice and they'll eat
the peyote?
337
00:15:27,109 --> 00:15:29,192
What?
338
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:31,025
You hate the shorts?
339
00:15:33,192 --> 00:15:35,192
You hate the shorts.
340
00:15:36,401 --> 00:15:37,776
Fuck it.
341
00:15:37,859 --> 00:15:40,150
Just look at my fucking legs!
342
00:15:40,234 --> 00:15:42,317
Let's go. Go.
343
00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:47,818
Richard:
I knew it! I knew it.
344
00:15:47,901 --> 00:15:49,651
Our network's not slowing
down because we fucked up.
345
00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:51,984
It's because YaoNet's here
and they are attacking us.
346
00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,776
Is SlipSox even
a real company?
347
00:15:53,859 --> 00:15:56,693
Incorporated a week ago,
no website.
348
00:15:57,859 --> 00:15:59,734
It's a cover.
It's YaoNet!
349
00:15:59,818 --> 00:16:01,317
Laurie is somehow fucking with
350
00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:02,693
our routing to slow
down the network.
351
00:16:02,776 --> 00:16:04,442
But why would they
bother attacking us?
352
00:16:04,526 --> 00:16:06,651
They have the AT&T deal
all locked up.
353
00:16:06,734 --> 00:16:08,484
Unless...
354
00:16:08,567 --> 00:16:10,275
they don't.
355
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:12,526
If she thinks their
Hawaii launch might fail,
356
00:16:12,609 --> 00:16:14,442
that would be a reason
to try to wipe us out
357
00:16:14,526 --> 00:16:16,109
while they have
the chance.
358
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:19,359
So, if we can stay alive
till YaoNet fucks up Hawaii,
359
00:16:19,442 --> 00:16:20,693
we could swoop in.
360
00:16:20,776 --> 00:16:22,317
Like a basketball dunker.
361
00:16:22,401 --> 00:16:24,651
-We're still in this, boys.
-Jared: All right.
362
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:28,275
So, let's boot those meddling
bums off of the network.
363
00:16:28,359 --> 00:16:29,734
Enough of this crap!
364
00:16:29,818 --> 00:16:32,442
Yeah. Well, uh,
that's impossible
365
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:34,734
'cause the whole point
of a decentralized network
366
00:16:34,818 --> 00:16:38,567
is to prevent a single host
from controlling access.
367
00:16:38,651 --> 00:16:40,526
So dictators can't ban
dissidents.
368
00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:44,901
Right now, there's no way
to kill them or stop them
throttling the network.
369
00:16:45,484 --> 00:16:48,234
This is why things
are easier in China.
370
00:16:50,984 --> 00:16:53,401
China...
371
00:16:56,067 --> 00:16:59,275
Don't mess with Pied Piper
again, you little fucker.
372
00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:02,401
-(phone vibrating)
-(sighs)
373
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:06,275
(sighs) Hello?
374
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:11,192
Jian-Yang! Hey! Hey,
uh, what's going on,
boss man? (chuckles)
375
00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:14,442
It's, uh, Richard Hendricks,
from Pied Piper.
376
00:17:14,526 --> 00:17:16,067
How's it going, dude?
377
00:17:16,150 --> 00:17:17,275
Very bad.
378
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,067
My underage girl
slaves all left.
379
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:21,943
Oh yeah, totally. Bummer.
380
00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:23,317
Well, you'll find them.
381
00:17:23,401 --> 00:17:25,693
Anyway, kind of
a silly question, um...
382
00:17:25,776 --> 00:17:28,484
You know how you stole
the Pied Piper source code?
383
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,025
-Yes.
-Yeah, and then you rewrote it
384
00:17:31,109 --> 00:17:32,567
into what is now YaoNet?
385
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:34,275
- Yes.
-Right, um,
386
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,734
did the Chinese
government, by any chance,
387
00:17:36,818 --> 00:17:38,651
require you to add a back door?
388
00:17:38,734 --> 00:17:41,234
Yes, I have
a SSH key in my house,
389
00:17:41,317 --> 00:17:45,025
- written down.
-Cool! Wow!
Uh... (chuckles)
390
00:17:45,442 --> 00:17:47,401
I don't suppose I could
get that from you.
391
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,442
Uh, it's just that
Pied Piper's in kind of a jam.
392
00:17:51,609 --> 00:17:54,234
Yes. Pied Piper...
393
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:58,192
Your white witch just
shut down my business.
394
00:17:58,984 --> 00:18:01,150
-(beeps)
-Oh. Okay.
395
00:18:04,192 --> 00:18:05,067
So?
396
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:08,067
(phone vibrating)
397
00:18:11,901 --> 00:18:13,693
Hey, Richard, what's up?
398
00:18:15,943 --> 00:18:17,734
♪ ♪
399
00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:20,359
(sighs) Fuck.
400
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:22,776
Jian-Yang, please.
401
00:18:22,859 --> 00:18:24,651
-(Simon game beeping)
-Monica,
402
00:18:24,734 --> 00:18:28,859
for the last five years,
you have been horrible.
403
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,401
You never smile.
404
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,567
You never kiss me.
405
00:18:34,150 --> 00:18:37,192
I'll never give you
anything you want.
406
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,526
I hate you.
407
00:18:39,609 --> 00:18:42,025
Jian-Yang,
I need that key.
408
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,234
This key?
409
00:18:45,275 --> 00:18:48,776
Okay, let's...
let's just be reasonable.
410
00:18:49,818 --> 00:18:51,192
-Gimme it!
-Shit!
411
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:53,526
Come on! Fuck!
412
00:18:53,609 --> 00:18:55,859
(both grunting)
413
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:58,526
-No! Stop!
-Oh.
414
00:19:00,609 --> 00:19:02,192
(grunts)
415
00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,067
Oh my God!
416
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:05,401
Yikes.
417
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:13,484
You and I, we could've
run this town,
418
00:19:13,567 --> 00:19:15,984
but you blew it, mister.
419
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:19,401
(Simon game beeping)
420
00:19:21,526 --> 00:19:24,401
(singsongy):
A, four, six, capital G,
421
00:19:24,484 --> 00:19:28,359
two, nine, lowercase J,
four, three--
422
00:19:28,442 --> 00:19:30,943
Wait, wait, wait.
Wha-what are you singing?
423
00:19:31,025 --> 00:19:32,776
Is-Is that the key?
424
00:19:32,859 --> 00:19:35,901
Key? No. That's just
the letters and numbers
425
00:19:35,984 --> 00:19:38,526
that were on that
little sheet of paper
that Jian-Yang swallowed.
426
00:19:38,609 --> 00:19:41,818
Yeah, for some reason,
stuff's really like sticking
in my head these days.
427
00:19:41,901 --> 00:19:44,275
Wait. Big Head, Richard needs
those letters and numbers.
428
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:45,943
Can-can you sing it again?
429
00:19:46,025 --> 00:19:47,609
Uh, sure. Yeah.
430
00:19:47,693 --> 00:19:49,526
-(game beeping)
-(singsongy): A, four, six,
431
00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:52,401
capital G, two, nine,
lowercase J--
432
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:54,526
Wait, do you wanna maybe
call Richard first,
433
00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:55,859
and then I could sing it?
434
00:19:55,943 --> 00:19:57,943
Holy shit! Yes! Thank you!
435
00:19:58,025 --> 00:20:00,943
Richard (singsongy):
Capital M, capital R...
436
00:20:01,859 --> 00:20:03,109
that's it?
437
00:20:04,859 --> 00:20:06,609
(laughing):
Okay!
438
00:20:06,693 --> 00:20:08,567
Yeah, we're in! It worked!
439
00:20:08,651 --> 00:20:11,442
Thank you. Uh, thanks, guys.
Thanks, Big Head.
440
00:20:12,401 --> 00:20:14,442
All right, YaoNet, SlipSox,
441
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:17,818
whoever the fuck you are,
you think you can fuck with us?
442
00:20:19,526 --> 00:20:20,984
-They hung up.
-Oh.
443
00:20:21,067 --> 00:20:22,275
Yeah.
444
00:20:23,609 --> 00:20:26,401
-Wait, what the fuck is this?
-Dinesh: This is
YaoNet's server?
445
00:20:26,484 --> 00:20:28,734
Fuck.
It's a honeypot.
446
00:20:28,818 --> 00:20:30,150
What, is that a good thing?
447
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:33,526
No. It's not.
Run the "file" command.
448
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,609
It's basically
a bullshit shell in case
449
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:37,234
the Chinese government
actually used the key.
450
00:20:37,317 --> 00:20:38,943
It's like a fake storefront.
451
00:20:39,025 --> 00:20:41,234
Okay, so they have to be
running SSH on a different port.
452
00:20:41,317 --> 00:20:42,734
How do we find
the real one?
453
00:20:42,818 --> 00:20:44,734
We could N-map it
to check every single one,
454
00:20:44,818 --> 00:20:46,859
but that would
take forever.
455
00:20:48,484 --> 00:20:51,150
Okay. Fuck. Well,
456
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:53,234
somehow, we have to find
the correct port number.
457
00:20:53,317 --> 00:20:56,067
Wait, what time is it?
458
00:21:02,192 --> 00:21:03,943
One large artichoke,
459
00:21:04,025 --> 00:21:06,192
extra rare,
cup of mayonnaise.
460
00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:10,359
I see you still take
your snack at 3:17.
461
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,025
I know that
SlipSox is YaoNet,
462
00:21:15,109 --> 00:21:17,109
and that you've
infiltrated Pied Piper,
463
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,776
and I know
that you're here,
working with Laurie Bream.
464
00:21:20,859 --> 00:21:22,818
No, let me finish.
465
00:21:22,901 --> 00:21:25,901
We didn't end on
the best of terms, but...
466
00:21:25,984 --> 00:21:27,442
when we were together,
I feel like
467
00:21:27,526 --> 00:21:31,067
I really saw you,
the real you.
468
00:21:31,150 --> 00:21:34,067
I saw you, Gwart!
I know you!
469
00:21:34,150 --> 00:21:36,150
No, let me finish.
I have to say this
470
00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:37,776
or I'm never gonna
get it out.
471
00:21:37,859 --> 00:21:41,442
Now, I wish I was asking you
to go for a walk with me
472
00:21:41,526 --> 00:21:44,234
or to watch Magic Mike XL
for the umpteenth time,
473
00:21:44,317 --> 00:21:46,859
but I'm asking you
to give us access to YaoNet,
474
00:21:46,943 --> 00:21:49,234
and not just to save
my company,
475
00:21:49,317 --> 00:21:51,234
but to save my sanity.
476
00:21:52,234 --> 00:21:56,025
Because if I was wrong
about who you are,
477
00:21:56,109 --> 00:21:58,859
then I don't know who I am.
478
00:22:01,401 --> 00:22:03,484
So there you have it.
479
00:22:03,567 --> 00:22:07,067
I've said
all I gotta say, and...
480
00:22:08,067 --> 00:22:10,109
it's up to you now.
481
00:22:21,943 --> 00:22:24,192
I see. So,
482
00:22:24,275 --> 00:22:28,109
Pied Piper's network capacity
is degrading steadily.
483
00:22:28,192 --> 00:22:30,067
Hmm, wonderful.
484
00:22:31,401 --> 00:22:34,734
And their adaptive routing
optimization techniques
485
00:22:34,818 --> 00:22:37,109
aren't helping them.
486
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:56,526
Hey, guys. Um,
I'm so sorry--
487
00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:59,401
I don't know what you did,
but it worked.
488
00:22:59,484 --> 00:23:02,234
-Jared: What?
-Someone just messaged us
489
00:23:02,317 --> 00:23:03,901
the correct port
490
00:23:03,984 --> 00:23:05,859
-to YaoNet's ad server.
-Yeah!
491
00:23:05,943 --> 00:23:07,484
-(Richard chuckling)
-Really?
492
00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:09,401
Yep. Gilfoyle revoked
all their access,
493
00:23:09,484 --> 00:23:12,150
and is removing their app
from every client on PiperNet.
494
00:23:12,234 --> 00:23:14,734
Richard:
In a couple of minutes,
we'll be back up to speed.
495
00:23:14,818 --> 00:23:17,734
Plus, we cloned
their repository,
496
00:23:17,818 --> 00:23:20,234
so we'll just poke around
497
00:23:20,317 --> 00:23:22,567
and see exactly
what they're hiding!
498
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:24,734
It's a big win
for the Piper boys.
499
00:23:24,818 --> 00:23:26,567
(chuckles)
So, Gilfoyle,
500
00:23:26,651 --> 00:23:28,192
how much faster is
our network now?
501
00:23:28,275 --> 00:23:30,526
Zero faster. It's slower,
502
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:33,359
-and still degrading.
-What are you talking about?
503
00:23:33,442 --> 00:23:36,401
About how our network is
slower and still degrading.
504
00:23:36,484 --> 00:23:38,401
We're currently at 60%.
505
00:23:39,192 --> 00:23:40,776
But that's not possible.
506
00:23:40,859 --> 00:23:42,067
Our network's
shit latency
507
00:23:42,150 --> 00:23:43,484
is slowing down
every single purchase.
508
00:23:43,567 --> 00:23:45,275
(angry chattering)
509
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:46,401
Look at the bathrooms.
510
00:23:46,484 --> 00:23:48,859
The scanner's aren't working.
511
00:23:48,943 --> 00:23:51,109
Richard:
Fucking Russ
and his pay toilets.
512
00:23:51,192 --> 00:23:54,192
Okay, we gotta figure this out
or there's gonna be a riot.
513
00:23:56,734 --> 00:23:58,067
There you
assholes are!
514
00:23:58,150 --> 00:24:00,275
You guys fucking with me?
Did you get my messages?
515
00:24:00,359 --> 00:24:01,526
Uh...
516
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:03,609
Messaging's stalling, too.
517
00:24:03,693 --> 00:24:06,401
I sent you guys photos of
three different outfits.
518
00:24:06,484 --> 00:24:08,317
Did you hate
them all? Wha...
519
00:24:08,401 --> 00:24:09,526
What's wrong?
520
00:24:10,192 --> 00:24:12,526
Uh, no. Definitely
the second one.
521
00:24:12,609 --> 00:24:13,984
-I like the second one.
-You really think
522
00:24:14,067 --> 00:24:16,651
a white guy can wear that
and get away with it?
523
00:24:16,734 --> 00:24:18,526
-Gilfoyle: Definitely.
-Dinesh: No.
524
00:24:18,609 --> 00:24:20,317
You know what?
You're right.
525
00:24:20,401 --> 00:24:22,150
Fuck political
correctness.
526
00:24:22,234 --> 00:24:25,359
I'm looking at four
guys that fuck!
527
00:24:26,609 --> 00:24:28,150
Okay, let's rerun
the diagnostics.
528
00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:29,901
Maybe we missed something.
529
00:24:29,984 --> 00:24:32,442
(Laurie speaking indistinctly)
530
00:24:32,526 --> 00:24:33,651
Laurie!
531
00:24:33,734 --> 00:24:36,234
Richard:
Laurie Bream!
Well, well, well.
532
00:24:36,317 --> 00:24:39,234
-Fleeing the scene
of the crime?
-Crime?
533
00:24:39,693 --> 00:24:42,234
You can't win.
Your network is garbage.
534
00:24:42,317 --> 00:24:45,234
And maybe,
if you save us some
time by telling us
535
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,401
how you're slowing
down our network,
536
00:24:47,484 --> 00:24:48,859
I won't go to the police.
537
00:24:48,943 --> 00:24:52,317
Slowing down your network?
That would be "un-tethical."
538
00:24:52,401 --> 00:24:53,901
-Why would I...
-(scoffs)
539
00:24:55,150 --> 00:24:57,275
Oh. Richard...
540
00:24:58,442 --> 00:25:00,067
You do not know.
541
00:25:00,943 --> 00:25:02,317
Know what?
542
00:25:02,401 --> 00:25:03,693
As you correctly surmised,
543
00:25:03,776 --> 00:25:06,734
YaoNet doesn't work.
It does not scale.
544
00:25:06,818 --> 00:25:08,359
-Ha!
-However, we did not
545
00:25:08,442 --> 00:25:11,192
come here to attack you,
simply to observe you,
546
00:25:11,275 --> 00:25:12,818
spy on you, if you wish,
547
00:25:12,901 --> 00:25:15,275
in order to see how you
got PiperNet to work,
548
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:17,317
which, it turns out,
you did not.
549
00:25:17,401 --> 00:25:18,776
Uh, what? (scoffs)
550
00:25:18,859 --> 00:25:22,275
Your compression is inadequate
in the face of bottlenecks
551
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,693
that emerge between
node-cluster edges.
552
00:25:24,776 --> 00:25:27,192
Pied Piper does not scale.
553
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:30,275
It is as impracticable
as YaoNet.
554
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:33,442
-Fuck.
-Laurie: Ah, yes.
555
00:25:33,526 --> 00:25:35,401
That can't be right.
556
00:25:35,484 --> 00:25:37,234
Laurie:
And yet it is.
557
00:25:37,317 --> 00:25:40,609
I wish we had plagiarized
more functional code,
558
00:25:40,693 --> 00:25:43,609
and yet it is this technology
that AT&T has purchased,
559
00:25:43,693 --> 00:25:44,734
functional or no.
560
00:25:44,818 --> 00:25:46,901
And with Maximo's
sufficient funding,
561
00:25:46,984 --> 00:25:48,901
we will certainly be
able to weather the storm
562
00:25:48,984 --> 00:25:50,901
until we reach launch,
at which time
563
00:25:50,984 --> 00:25:54,859
it seems likely that AT&T may
deem our business a failure.
564
00:25:54,943 --> 00:25:57,234
However, at this point,
I will have already made
565
00:25:57,317 --> 00:26:00,025
many multiples
on my initial investment.
566
00:26:00,693 --> 00:26:03,984
Ah, I cannot speak
to your backup plan.
567
00:26:04,484 --> 00:26:06,109
Hmm, yes.
568
00:26:06,693 --> 00:26:08,651
Good day, gentlemen.
569
00:26:17,859 --> 00:26:20,567
Well, she's just a hater,
and, no disrespect,
570
00:26:20,651 --> 00:26:22,734
-but she can eat shit.
-Dinesh: Yeah,
571
00:26:22,818 --> 00:26:24,150
obviously.
572
00:26:24,234 --> 00:26:26,693
We have to be able to
figure something out.
573
00:26:26,776 --> 00:26:28,526
You'll think of
something, right?
574
00:26:29,109 --> 00:26:30,484
Richard?
575
00:26:33,484 --> 00:26:35,859
Six fucking years!
576
00:26:35,943 --> 00:26:39,025
Six years...
we've wasted!
577
00:26:39,109 --> 00:26:41,693
Building this worthless
piece of shit!
578
00:26:41,776 --> 00:26:43,776
Are fucking
kidding me?!
579
00:26:43,859 --> 00:26:45,693
(panting)
580
00:26:45,776 --> 00:26:49,067
I'm fine. I just gotta
go to the bathroom.
581
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:52,359
I don't think
he thought of anything.
582
00:26:52,442 --> 00:26:54,150
(crowd chattering)
583
00:26:54,234 --> 00:26:56,401
-Yeah! (laughs)
-(music playing)
584
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:59,943
Go with option one, and I'm
not gonna feel shitty about it.
585
00:27:00,025 --> 00:27:01,734
Right?
586
00:27:03,484 --> 00:27:04,734
Fuck me.
587
00:27:05,109 --> 00:27:08,025
Dinesh:
Hey guys, Richard's been locked
in there for three hours.
588
00:27:08,109 --> 00:27:10,067
Should we kick
down the door?
589
00:27:10,150 --> 00:27:13,067
No, let's honor him
with some space.
590
00:27:13,442 --> 00:27:15,150
I'll wait for him to fall
asleep, and then I'll--
591
00:27:15,234 --> 00:27:16,943
I'll lower myself
down through the vent.
592
00:27:17,025 --> 00:27:18,651
-(burps)
-Dinesh: Would it be a dick move
593
00:27:18,734 --> 00:27:21,567
to ask him for his keys
and then we drive home?
594
00:27:21,651 --> 00:27:24,317
Well, he'd be
abandoned here...
595
00:27:24,401 --> 00:27:25,984
Holy shit.
596
00:27:26,067 --> 00:27:27,484
That's fantastic.
597
00:27:27,567 --> 00:27:30,275
-What the... fuck?
-(drones buzzing)
598
00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:33,609
Hey, you guys?
599
00:27:34,484 --> 00:27:36,693
I did something.
600
00:27:36,776 --> 00:27:39,025
All right, so,
I was, uh,
601
00:27:39,109 --> 00:27:41,275
fiddling around
on Gilfoyle's laptop,
602
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,192
and I was
looking down,
603
00:27:43,275 --> 00:27:45,901
and then I realized
that the solution was
604
00:27:45,984 --> 00:27:47,859
staring at me
right in the face.
605
00:27:47,943 --> 00:27:49,025
Ants.
606
00:27:49,109 --> 00:27:50,359
It occurred to me
607
00:27:50,442 --> 00:27:53,484
that our network is kind
of like a series of paths,
608
00:27:53,567 --> 00:27:56,901
much like the trails ants use
in order to forage for food.
609
00:27:56,984 --> 00:28:01,651
But then, I thought
that we don't need better paths.
610
00:28:01,734 --> 00:28:04,651
We need better ants. You see?
611
00:28:04,734 --> 00:28:08,484
-Fuck gradient descent.
-What?
612
00:28:08,567 --> 00:28:12,901
I don't need to use
Gilfoyle's AI in order
to improve middle-out.
613
00:28:12,984 --> 00:28:17,109
I need to use middle-out
to create a new AI.
614
00:28:17,651 --> 00:28:22,818
A symbolic AI. And now,
it is teaching itself
615
00:28:22,901 --> 00:28:25,150
how to optimize.
616
00:28:25,234 --> 00:28:28,526
So, you fucked around
with Son of Anton's brain,
617
00:28:28,609 --> 00:28:31,025
and then gave him access
618
00:28:31,109 --> 00:28:33,901
to our entire network
infrastructure,
619
00:28:33,984 --> 00:28:35,776
-while it's still running?
-Yes.
620
00:28:35,859 --> 00:28:38,317
Richard, that's like asking
a robot to change your tire
621
00:28:38,401 --> 00:28:40,359
while you're driving
on the freeway!
622
00:28:40,442 --> 00:28:41,567
Hold this.
623
00:28:41,651 --> 00:28:43,150
Gimme.
624
00:28:43,234 --> 00:28:44,401
See, go.
625
00:28:44,484 --> 00:28:45,984
This isn't my computer.
626
00:28:46,067 --> 00:28:47,943
-It's not?
-Gilfoyle: No.
627
00:28:48,526 --> 00:28:52,359
And what the fuck is
Son of Anton version 2.0?
628
00:28:52,442 --> 00:28:54,317
What?
629
00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:58,317
-Huh.
-You were fucking around
630
00:28:58,401 --> 00:29:00,401
with Son of Anton's
brain before him?
631
00:29:00,484 --> 00:29:02,693
-Fuck.
-I have good ideas.
632
00:29:02,776 --> 00:29:05,567
-(explosions)
-(crowd screaming)
633
00:29:05,651 --> 00:29:08,734
♪ ♪
634
00:29:13,943 --> 00:29:15,359
Sweet mother of God.
635
00:29:15,442 --> 00:29:16,776
Dinesh:
This is not my fault.
636
00:29:16,859 --> 00:29:18,651
I barely touched
Gilfoyle's AI.
637
00:29:18,734 --> 00:29:21,025
-(explosions)
-Richard: What's it doing?
638
00:29:21,109 --> 00:29:24,317
Gilfoyle:
I have no idea. I told you, it's
a fucking black box, Richard.
639
00:29:24,401 --> 00:29:26,109
Richard:
Do you think there's
gonna be a riot?
640
00:29:26,192 --> 00:29:28,818
Dinesh:
Oh, I'm sure 20,000 coked-up
douchebags will be very civil
641
00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:30,567
when they can't
get food or water.
642
00:29:30,651 --> 00:29:32,943
Gilfoyle: Holy shit,
look at the hologram.
643
00:29:33,025 --> 00:29:35,025
Richard:
Oh my God.
644
00:29:38,150 --> 00:29:38,901
Whoa.
645
00:29:38,984 --> 00:29:41,859
(panicked chattering)
646
00:29:43,818 --> 00:29:46,234
(buzzing, crackling)
647
00:29:47,067 --> 00:29:48,943
-(woman screams)
-(car alarm blares)
648
00:29:49,025 --> 00:29:51,067
Shit.
649
00:29:51,567 --> 00:29:53,609
-What did we do?
-We?
650
00:29:54,275 --> 00:29:55,609
Dinesh:
Is it dead?
651
00:29:55,693 --> 00:29:58,651
-Am I going to jail?
-Hey.
652
00:29:58,734 --> 00:30:00,192
I can train you.
653
00:30:00,275 --> 00:30:01,984
Russ:
Hey, fuckers.
654
00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:05,401
Popped a couple of Xanax and
then choked it in the trailer.
655
00:30:05,484 --> 00:30:08,275
Feeling much better.
Went with outfit number three,
656
00:30:08,359 --> 00:30:10,067
black jacquard.
657
00:30:10,150 --> 00:30:11,150
Why is it so dark?
658
00:30:11,234 --> 00:30:12,442
Um, well...
659
00:30:12,526 --> 00:30:13,901
Lights!
660
00:30:15,109 --> 00:30:17,734
(lights clacking)
661
00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,651
Russ:
Sweet! Voice command?
That is fucking awesome.
662
00:30:20,734 --> 00:30:22,693
You guys are smart.
663
00:30:22,776 --> 00:30:27,109
(vocalizing):
Voice command!
664
00:30:28,109 --> 00:30:29,984
What just happened?
665
00:30:30,067 --> 00:30:31,859
Did it work? What...
What just happened?
666
00:30:31,943 --> 00:30:33,442
Gilfoyle:
Holy shit.
667
00:30:33,526 --> 00:30:34,943
Jared:
Wait, is that right?
668
00:30:35,442 --> 00:30:37,984
It's at... 145%?
669
00:30:38,067 --> 00:30:40,776
Now 160%. Okay,
how is this possible?
670
00:30:40,859 --> 00:30:43,442
Our network overhead
must've massively shrunk.
671
00:30:43,526 --> 00:30:45,359
It's insane.
672
00:30:45,442 --> 00:30:47,567
Oh my God. Okay...
673
00:30:47,651 --> 00:30:49,150
My middle-out,
674
00:30:49,234 --> 00:30:50,859
Gilfoyle's AI,
whatever the fuck Dinesh
675
00:30:50,943 --> 00:30:54,025
-did to Gilfoyle's AI--
-I basically rewrote
the entire thing.
676
00:30:54,109 --> 00:30:56,025
You guys,
677
00:30:56,109 --> 00:30:57,984
it worked.
It-It-It happened.
678
00:30:58,067 --> 00:31:00,317
-We-we-we did it.
We-we-we won.
-Dinesh: It worked?
679
00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:02,526
-Ah! We did it!
-Richard: Yeah!
680
00:31:02,609 --> 00:31:04,109
-Ah!
-You...
681
00:31:04,192 --> 00:31:06,192
are like the three
musketeers of coding,
682
00:31:06,275 --> 00:31:08,192
except you are
all d'Artagnan.
683
00:31:08,275 --> 00:31:10,901
-(laughing)
-(hologram humming)
684
00:31:10,984 --> 00:31:12,818
-Richard: Wait, wait.
-Gilfoyle: What?
685
00:31:12,901 --> 00:31:14,442
Richard:
What the fuck is going on?
686
00:31:14,526 --> 00:31:16,067
Dinesh:
He's growing!
687
00:31:16,150 --> 00:31:18,484
♪ ♪
688
00:31:18,984 --> 00:31:20,651
Gilfoyle:
It's beautiful.
689
00:31:21,109 --> 00:31:23,275
Eat a dick, David Copperfield!
690
00:31:24,818 --> 00:31:26,943
Pilot (over PA):
We hope you've
enjoyed your flight
691
00:31:27,025 --> 00:31:29,150
from Maui to San Francisco
this evening.
692
00:31:29,234 --> 00:31:30,734
Out of the right
side of the aircraft,
693
00:31:30,818 --> 00:31:32,401
you can see the lights
of Las Vegas.
694
00:31:32,484 --> 00:31:34,776
And out of the left side,
you can see...
695
00:31:35,609 --> 00:31:38,317
I don't know what that is.
696
00:31:39,317 --> 00:31:41,484
(computer chimes)
697
00:31:46,818 --> 00:31:50,734
("Champipple" by John Popper
& The Duskray Troubadours plays)
698
00:31:50,818 --> 00:31:53,818
♪ Let's drink some
champipple, baby ♪
699
00:31:53,901 --> 00:31:57,109
♪ 'Cause it's almost free ♪
700
00:31:57,192 --> 00:32:01,067
♪ Champipple, baby, till dawn ♪
701
00:32:01,150 --> 00:32:03,901
♪ You've got no
pressing engagements ♪
702
00:32:03,984 --> 00:32:07,275
♪ Won't you sit down by me
and drink some ♪
703
00:32:07,359 --> 00:32:12,567
♪ Champipple, baby,
till the champipple's gone ♪
704
00:32:12,651 --> 00:32:14,776
♪ Penny for penny ♪
705
00:32:14,859 --> 00:32:16,818
♪ Pound for pound ♪
706
00:32:16,901 --> 00:32:19,651
♪ If you're getting up ♪
707
00:32:19,734 --> 00:32:22,776
♪ For getting down ♪
708
00:32:22,859 --> 00:32:24,776
♪ Bottle for bottle ♪
709
00:32:24,859 --> 00:32:27,275
♪ Sip by sip ♪
710
00:32:27,359 --> 00:32:29,275
♪ It tastes even better ♪
711
00:32:29,359 --> 00:32:32,984
♪ When it's on your lips ♪
712
00:32:33,067 --> 00:32:36,192
♪ ♪
713
00:32:58,401 --> 00:32:59,734
Pied Piper can help scientists
cure cancer.
714
00:32:59,943 --> 00:33:02,317
-And cancer is bad.
-Cancer fucking sucks.
715
00:33:02,401 --> 00:33:04,818
"Hey, I'd like
some cancer, please." No.
716
00:33:05,651 --> 00:33:09,234
We built the single, greatest
network ever in the world.
717
00:33:09,317 --> 00:33:12,818
I would like you to give me
free shares of Pied Piper.
718
00:33:12,901 --> 00:33:14,943
You had plenty of opportunity
to invest.
719
00:33:15,234 --> 00:33:16,442
Yeah,
you could buy a Piper coin.
720
00:33:16,526 --> 00:33:18,818
Monica, two men are talking
of business.
721
00:33:18,901 --> 00:33:21,484
You can find your broom
and fly away.
722
00:33:22,150 --> 00:33:24,025
Gilfoyle is willing
to destroy everything
723
00:33:24,109 --> 00:33:25,943
we've built just to prevent me
from having money.
724
00:33:26,025 --> 00:33:28,526
Your entire life has prepared
you to publicly fail.
725
00:33:28,943 --> 00:33:31,109
You're just failing
to see that right now.
726
00:33:31,192 --> 00:33:32,025
Don't insult me,
727
00:33:32,234 --> 00:33:34,025
I can fail circles around
you losers.
728
00:33:34,109 --> 00:33:35,943
♪ (ENERGETIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
729
00:33:37,526 --> 00:33:39,109
(SCREAMS)
730
00:33:39,734 --> 00:33:42,109
Is this a good thing
or a bad thing?
731
00:33:42,651 --> 00:33:43,901
Someone tell me how to feel.
732
00:33:45,943 --> 00:33:47,609
Jared, bolt the doors.
733
00:33:47,693 --> 00:33:50,484
-What's in the bag?
-Clif Bars and a gun.
734
00:33:51,442 --> 00:33:53,484
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
53496
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