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[Car engine starts]
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[Tyres screeching]
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00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
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00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:24,587
Once upon a time, there was a
famous Sheriff. It Was Not so
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00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:37,040
[Heroic instrumental music]
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00:00:56,648 --> 00:00:59,022
Bandit, me and Fred've got a question.
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BANDIT: What do you and Fred want?
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00:01:00,569 --> 00:01:02,676
- How come we doing this?
- Why not?
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00:01:02,713 --> 00:01:05,620
- They said it couldn't be done.
- That's the reason.
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00:01:05,656 --> 00:01:07,597
That's good with Fred. We're clear.
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00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:09,276
Ten-four.
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00:01:09,454 --> 00:01:11,961
I'm Big Enos Burdette.
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This is my son, Little Enos.
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[Fast-paced country instrumental music]
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Hold on to your ass, Fred.
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[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
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What we're dealing with here...
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00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:41,204
is a complete lack of respect for the law.
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00:01:57,168 --> 00:01:59,921
[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
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00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:18,191
Nobody makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice
look like a possum's pecker.
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00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,028
JUNIOR: Daddy, look out!
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00:02:31,536 --> 00:02:35,243
JUNIOR: Daddy?
BUFORD: Shut up, Junior. I'm thinking.
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00:02:35,279 --> 00:02:38,569
- What are you thinking about?
- Retiring.
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00:02:44,925 --> 00:02:46,468
MAN: Atten-hut!
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00:02:49,389 --> 00:02:52,093
[Drum roll]
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00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,681
[Bugle playing]
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00:03:11,702 --> 00:03:14,679
You can all sit down now.
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00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:21,878
I want to thank you
nice ladies and gentlemen...
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00:03:22,046 --> 00:03:24,585
and my fellow officers...
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00:03:24,675 --> 00:03:28,624
for coming here this evening
to celebrate the retirement...
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00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:33,414
of an old friend, Sheriff Buford T. Justice.
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I think I can truthfully say...
33
00:03:36,978 --> 00:03:39,731
that tonight I feel as if I...
34
00:03:39,816 --> 00:03:42,934
were emerging victoriously...
35
00:03:43,026 --> 00:03:46,360
from a 35-year war.
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00:03:46,446 --> 00:03:50,240
A war to uphold law and order.
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00:03:50,276 --> 00:03:52,040
LITTLE ENOS: Daddy, I'm bored.
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00:03:52,077 --> 00:03:55,050
I'm bored hearing about your boredom.
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00:03:55,101 --> 00:03:58,121
That's why I went to all this
trouble. Now we're going to have fun!
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00:03:58,158 --> 00:04:01,139
As much fun as putting Ex-Lax
in the Dallas water supply?
41
00:04:01,176 --> 00:04:03,719
Yeah, and then cornering the market
on toilet paper.
42
00:04:03,755 --> 00:04:05,292
More fun than that.
43
00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:09,811
And what fond memories
were brought back...
44
00:04:10,596 --> 00:04:14,843
when I saw those 211s, the 502s...
45
00:04:15,143 --> 00:04:18,843
and the DWls and the APBs...
46
00:04:19,772 --> 00:04:24,987
but most of all, those hot pursuits.
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00:04:25,023 --> 00:04:28,057
You're going to pee in your pants
watching that county mountie...
48
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,648
hump across six states.
49
00:04:29,684 --> 00:04:32,135
I don't think the Sheriff will
buy your plan, frankly.
50
00:04:32,171 --> 00:04:36,942
Trust me, son. If there's one thing
that egomaniac can't refuse...
51
00:04:36,978 --> 00:04:39,130
it's a public challenge.
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00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:43,760
BUFORD:... that I have marched through
a wave of crime and criminals...
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00:04:43,796 --> 00:04:47,123
like crap through a moose.
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00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:48,589
[Snoring]
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00:04:49,219 --> 00:04:54,937
In the '60s, I chased those pimply-faced,
long-haired hippies.
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00:04:54,973 --> 00:04:56,503
And I caught them.
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00:04:56,539 --> 00:04:59,232
BUFORD: Then in the '70s, I chased-
BIG ENOS: The Bandit!
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00:04:59,268 --> 00:05:01,984
What about The Bandit?
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00:05:02,399 --> 00:05:05,568
Yeah, Daddy? What about The Bandit?
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00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:07,907
Sit down, you tick turd!
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00:05:10,407 --> 00:05:15,538
I chased that boy for over 3,000 miles.
62
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,869
Through 20 states.
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00:05:17,957 --> 00:05:21,457
- But you didn't catch him.
- So I didn't catch him.
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00:05:21,544 --> 00:05:25,168
What the hell difference does it make?
But I'll bet-
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00:05:25,255 --> 00:05:27,289
- Okay.
- Okay, what?
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00:05:27,383 --> 00:05:30,171
- Okay, let's bet.
- What are you talking about?
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00:05:30,303 --> 00:05:34,549
What we're talking about
is a simple contest, a little race.
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00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,679
And if you win, Sheriff...
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00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:42,761
we Enoses are going to pony up $250,000.
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00:05:42,816 --> 00:05:47,110
If you lose, you fork over
that silly symbol...
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00:05:47,195 --> 00:05:51,220
you've been shoving in people's faces
all these years.
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00:05:51,366 --> 00:05:53,841
Your badge.
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00:05:54,786 --> 00:06:00,792
This badge means more to me
than anything else in the world.
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00:06:00,829 --> 00:06:04,080
And I'd like nothing more
than anything else in the world...
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00:06:04,116 --> 00:06:05,752
to run you into the ground.
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00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:08,993
You and that
excuse for a son,
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00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:12,308
who looks just like
a flea's pecker.
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00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:17,192
However, I'm going to retire.
79
00:06:17,228 --> 00:06:21,239
I'm going down to Florida
and sit in the sun with my son.
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00:06:21,275 --> 00:06:25,264
Remember, we're talking about
an awful lot of money here.
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00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:28,755
So if you change your mind,
you know where to reach us.
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00:06:28,792 --> 00:06:31,655
Thanks, but no thanks.
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00:06:31,741 --> 00:06:35,606
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
at this very moment...
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00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:41,425
I proclaim myself retired.
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00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:47,297
[Person mimicking fart]
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00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:51,133
[Applause dying down]
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[Drum roll]
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00:06:59,936 --> 00:07:01,148
[Pleasant country song]
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00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:04,935
Buford T. Justice
Fearless law of Texas
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00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:08,025
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
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00:07:08,778 --> 00:07:12,646
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
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00:07:12,741 --> 00:07:16,757
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
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00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:23,094
Some say you're a lunatic
Some say you're a buffoon
94
00:07:23,131 --> 00:07:26,625
Some say you're a fooI
with a gun
95
00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:30,922
Though you stuck to him like glue
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00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:35,523
Now who'd have thought you'd walk away
before the job was done
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00:07:39,518 --> 00:07:43,144
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
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00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,229
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
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00:07:47,526 --> 00:07:51,825
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
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00:07:56,660 --> 00:08:00,852
You're a hero to your ego
a legend in your own mind
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00:08:00,888 --> 00:08:04,186
To serve and protect
has been your word
102
00:08:04,377 --> 00:08:08,374
But can you stand to sit it out
when pride is on the line
103
00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:12,691
And "What about The Bandit?"
was the last thing that you heard
104
00:08:13,011 --> 00:08:16,842
You're Buford T. Justice
Fearless law of Texas
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00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:20,180
Man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
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00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:24,883
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
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00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:29,044
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
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00:08:29,319 --> 00:08:33,523
Just like some old gray race horse,
you've been put to graze
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00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:37,534
They say you're over the hill now
and you've seen your better days
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00:08:37,619 --> 00:08:40,818
Like that old race horse,
you still hear that bell
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00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:45,321
If a hot chase was heaven
Now the good life is hell
112
00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:05,769
Well, you took on all those outlaws
and the weirdoes with the hair
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00:09:05,805 --> 00:09:09,243
You stood for law and order all the way
114
00:09:09,401 --> 00:09:13,500
Now, you're standing on your records
But does anybody care
115
00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:17,952
You're still known as the boob
who let the big one get away
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00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:22,153
'Cause you're Buford T. Justice,
Fearless law of Texas
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00:09:22,248 --> 00:09:25,414
The man who chased The Bandit
coast to coast
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00:09:26,169 --> 00:09:29,869
Buford T. Justice
Now you've up and left us
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00:09:30,339 --> 00:09:33,874
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
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00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:38,337
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
121
00:09:39,765 --> 00:09:43,681
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
122
00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:50,356
[Screaming]
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00:09:52,154 --> 00:09:56,103
Junior, retirement is cat shit.
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00:09:56,199 --> 00:09:58,927
Let's get the Enoses.
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00:09:59,285 --> 00:10:01,243
[Marching band music playing]
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00:10:05,709 --> 00:10:07,909
JUNIOR: Oh, look, Daddy!
127
00:10:08,002 --> 00:10:10,042
The June Taylor Dancers.
128
00:10:14,801 --> 00:10:17,258
[Marching band music continues playing]
129
00:10:20,057 --> 00:10:24,367
- There's our turkey.
- Let's go stuff him!
130
00:10:26,981 --> 00:10:30,266
Daddy, they're taking our picture.
Wet your lips.
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00:10:30,359 --> 00:10:32,309
Shut up, shit.
132
00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:34,479
Well, welcome, Sheriff.
133
00:10:34,906 --> 00:10:37,029
What the hell's going on?
134
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:41,667
These are a few of Daddy's closest friends.
Just came to see you off.
135
00:10:41,745 --> 00:10:45,454
Let's cut the crap and get down
to the nitty-gritty.
136
00:10:45,490 --> 00:10:47,730
Well, you're a sporting man, Sheriff.
137
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:50,080
We're going to bet you $250,000...
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00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,998
against your tin star...
139
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:54,716
that you can't drive from here in Miami...
140
00:10:54,717 --> 00:10:57,552
to the Enos Ranch
just outside of Austin, Texas...
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00:10:57,637 --> 00:11:00,171
by 5:30 tomorrow afternoon.
142
00:11:00,223 --> 00:11:04,061
That's only 1,400 miles. What's the catch?
143
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,829
There's the catch.
144
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:10,624
JUNIOR: Look at that big ugly fish, Daddy.
BUFORD: Looks like your mama.
145
00:11:12,694 --> 00:11:15,173
Smells like your mama, too.
146
00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:17,562
That's our advertising campaign. Get it?
147
00:11:17,598 --> 00:11:18,444
Fish and chips.
148
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:22,317
We're opening up fast-food franchises
all over the South.
149
00:11:23,246 --> 00:11:25,743
BUFORD: Get that off the top of my car!
150
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:29,131
A little respect, Sheriff. That's our logo.
151
00:11:29,335 --> 00:11:31,538
Daddy, what's a logo?
152
00:11:31,546 --> 00:11:33,338
Something like a flounder.
153
00:11:33,507 --> 00:11:37,042
That's in the great tradition
of American advertising.
154
00:11:37,136 --> 00:11:40,601
And you got to carry it. Otherwise, no bet.
155
00:11:40,705 --> 00:11:42,036
I get it.
156
00:11:42,073 --> 00:11:46,670
You're trying to humiliate me
so I won't take the bet.
157
00:11:47,229 --> 00:11:49,268
BUFORD: Get in the car, Junior.
158
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:52,518
Now then, Sheriff, be careful
with the badge.
159
00:11:52,609 --> 00:11:56,500
It's going to make a beautiful
belt buckle for me.
160
00:11:56,536 --> 00:11:58,362
If you get my badge...
161
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:03,624
it's going to be
a seven-pointed suppository.
162
00:12:08,001 --> 00:12:10,982
He fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.
163
00:12:11,045 --> 00:12:13,452
[Marching band music playing]
164
00:12:21,305 --> 00:12:24,473
JUNIOR: Be careful, Daddy!
BUFORD: Don't worry, Junior.
165
00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:29,211
BUFORD: I know a shortcut.
We'll be out of here in no time.
166
00:12:29,247 --> 00:12:32,106
JUNIOR: Daddy, we've been driving around
for two-and-a-half hours...
167
00:12:32,192 --> 00:12:35,150
and we're still in downtown Miami.
168
00:12:36,029 --> 00:12:39,890
I'm as confused as a baby raccoon.
169
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,087
I don't know where the hell we are.
170
00:12:42,124 --> 00:12:46,313
- It's right here on the map.
- Get that damn thing out of my face!
171
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,847
I was only trying to help.
172
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:50,750
You want to help? Jump out the window.
173
00:12:50,961 --> 00:12:53,270
JUNIOR: Turn left here, Daddy.
174
00:12:55,298 --> 00:12:57,320
Look at all these people, Daddy.
175
00:12:57,356 --> 00:13:00,224
BUFORD: Junior, what you got us into now?
176
00:13:00,260 --> 00:13:03,486
Come on, get out the way! We're in a hurry!
177
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:08,427
I think we've crossed the border.
178
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:12,008
Hey, you want to buy some food
for your fish?
179
00:13:12,774 --> 00:13:14,981
BUFORD: Up yours and that fish.
180
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:17,398
[Man speaking in Spanish]
181
00:13:17,488 --> 00:13:20,358
Get the hell out of here.
I know what time it is.
182
00:13:21,887 --> 00:13:24,704
Get back!
183
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:28,521
You'd think they never saw a car
with a big fish on top.
184
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:31,729
Ladies, nice ladies.
185
00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:35,809
Could you possibly tell me...
186
00:13:35,845 --> 00:13:38,415
how to get to the Florida Turnpike?
187
00:13:38,759 --> 00:13:40,966
[Women speaking in Spanish]
188
00:13:48,687 --> 00:13:52,733
Thank you, nice ladies.
Thank you, you've been very helpful.
189
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,394
You dirty old...
190
00:13:54,483 --> 00:13:56,498
JUNIOR: I think she said turn left.
191
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:58,986
BUFORD: I know she said turn left!
192
00:13:59,022 --> 00:14:04,107
I understand the German language
enough to understand what she told me!
193
00:14:08,123 --> 00:14:11,732
I guess that bought us
about a two-and-a-half minute delay.
194
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:15,784
This is going to be the most fun we ever had
with our pants on.
195
00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:17,779
[Speaking in Spanish]
196
00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:28,417
BIG ENOS: Did you remember to take care
of the gas tank?
197
00:14:28,454 --> 00:14:31,781
LITTLE ENOS: Do bears defecate rurally?
198
00:14:33,649 --> 00:14:36,270
[Car engine stalling]
199
00:14:42,032 --> 00:14:44,025
- What's the matter, Daddy?
- Gas!
200
00:14:44,326 --> 00:14:46,319
Must be that pizza you had for lunch.
201
00:14:46,411 --> 00:14:49,828
Not my belly, the tank!
Didn't you fill it up?
202
00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:53,906
- Well, I thought-
- You thought? What the hell did you use?
203
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:57,709
- It has to be pushed!
- We can do that easy, Daddy.
204
00:14:57,746 --> 00:15:01,285
What is that "we" crap?
You know I got a double hernia.
205
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,065
You push, I'll steer.
206
00:15:03,101 --> 00:15:06,141
Oh, thank you, Daddy. I knew you'd help me.
207
00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:13,601
He's dumb...
208
00:15:13,690 --> 00:15:15,904
but a loveable shit.
209
00:15:17,026 --> 00:15:19,600
[Lively country instrumental music]
210
00:15:32,709 --> 00:15:34,915
[Car horn honking]
211
00:15:36,504 --> 00:15:39,086
Delays like this are going to kill us.
212
00:15:39,175 --> 00:15:43,482
Stopping off for gas,
getting caught in traffic jams.
213
00:15:43,519 --> 00:15:46,330
Everything's against us.
214
00:15:48,267 --> 00:15:50,723
JUNIOR: Look out for that car, Daddy!
215
00:15:54,607 --> 00:15:57,685
BUFORD: Where's that fool going?
216
00:15:58,277 --> 00:16:00,404
Daddy, he came awful close.
217
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:04,035
You should never give
a dummy like that a license.
218
00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,574
[Car horn honking]
219
00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:12,122
BUFORD: Tell that road-hog Rembrandt
I'm coming around, and to look out!
220
00:16:13,584 --> 00:16:16,704
Hey, road-hog Rembrandt, look-
221
00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:19,710
Out.
222
00:16:21,551 --> 00:16:24,224
We cost them some time there, son.
223
00:16:24,260 --> 00:16:29,225
I wonder how Junior likes life
in the dumb lane.
224
00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:33,197
Daddy, my face is all white.
225
00:16:33,234 --> 00:16:37,392
Well, put a little lipstick on,
I'll drop you off at a gay bar.
226
00:16:39,111 --> 00:16:40,984
[Tyres screeching]
227
00:16:41,822 --> 00:16:43,512
What are we stopping for?
228
00:16:43,548 --> 00:16:48,543
It's time to take out some insurance,
teach those county mounties a lesson.
229
00:16:48,579 --> 00:16:51,957
I don't get it. I mean, they certainly lost
enough time as it is.
230
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:53,616
We're winning, ain't we?
231
00:16:53,652 --> 00:16:57,187
We're winning, son,
but winning isn't everything.
232
00:16:57,223 --> 00:17:00,509
- What is?
- Winning dirty, boy.
233
00:17:00,546 --> 00:17:01,632
What's the matter with you?
234
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,676
Sorry, Daddy. I lost my head.
235
00:17:04,712 --> 00:17:08,843
BIG ENOS: Shame, Little Enos.
LITTLE ENOS: Ashamed, Daddy.
236
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,401
Look, Daddy, here they come.
237
00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:15,132
BIG ENOS: They're coming, all right.
238
00:17:15,313 --> 00:17:17,851
[Big Enos whistling]
239
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:27,195
They put up a roadblock, Daddy.
240
00:17:27,660 --> 00:17:30,281
LITTLE ENOS: Daddy.
They aren't going to stop!
241
00:17:30,371 --> 00:17:34,631
Hold on tight. This might be a little bumpy.
242
00:17:58,066 --> 00:18:00,687
LITTLE ENOS: This was a brilliant idea.
243
00:18:00,777 --> 00:18:04,802
Don't worry, Son.
I've got something up my sleeve.
244
00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:07,581
I hope it's a chocolate chip cookie, Daddy.
245
00:18:07,618 --> 00:18:11,825
You can dunk my doughnuts
if it ain't a great idea.
246
00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:13,574
[Engine cranking]
247
00:18:13,666 --> 00:18:16,121
It seems to be flooded.
248
00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:18,405
No shit.
249
00:18:19,963 --> 00:18:25,253
BUFORD: Buckle up, Junior, we're going
to make a lot of time now!
250
00:18:25,718 --> 00:18:27,297
[Lively country instrumental music]
251
00:18:27,388 --> 00:18:29,222
BIG ENOS: This is it, son.
252
00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:32,654
BIG ENOS: I thought from the start
this was a one-man job.
253
00:18:32,691 --> 00:18:36,445
There's only one man I know
that's never let us down.
254
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,475
Homogenise my hostility!
Would you be speaking of-
255
00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:42,639
BIG ENOS: No, I'm not talking
about that egomaniac.
256
00:18:42,676 --> 00:18:45,369
I'm talking about the only one
we can really trust:
257
00:18:45,406 --> 00:18:46,506
The Snowman.
258
00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:48,732
Now get me that phone.
259
00:18:50,645 --> 00:18:52,539
That isn't the phone.
260
00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:05,082
Fred, you don't know what
it means having you here.
261
00:19:05,118 --> 00:19:10,359
You're the ugliest. Look at your eyes.
Your eyes sag, your ears. Look at that.
262
00:19:10,395 --> 00:19:13,641
CLEDUS: Eight yards long. Your lips...
And your breath's bad.
263
00:19:13,678 --> 00:19:16,449
The next time I buy them
deodorising dog biscuits...
264
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:17,642
you're going to eat them!
265
00:19:17,647 --> 00:19:18,762
[Car phone ringing]
266
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,385
Hang on.
267
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,986
Mule Barn, you got The Snowman.
How about-
268
00:19:25,237 --> 00:19:29,699
Look, lover boy, I've got $250,000...
269
00:19:29,784 --> 00:19:32,465
with your name on it if you help us out.
270
00:19:32,478 --> 00:19:36,788
Two hundred and fifty...
271
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:42,674
You mean, I don't have to drive the truck
or haul nothing but my ass?
272
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,452
I'm going to be The Bandit.
273
00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:48,057
Do I get to wear the hat? The shirt?
274
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:50,780
And drive the car!
275
00:19:52,141 --> 00:19:53,459
CLEDUS: Now, listen!
276
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:56,373
I think you just got yourself a Bandit. Bye!
277
00:19:56,410 --> 00:19:59,063
I'm going to be The Bandit!
I love it! The Bandit.
278
00:19:59,147 --> 00:20:01,983
Wear the hat, drive the car.
I love it. Give me the car.
279
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,690
[Classical instrumental music]
280
00:20:06,655 --> 00:20:10,116
INSTRUCTOR: All right, Mrs. Fernbush,
let's remember the procedures.
281
00:20:10,153 --> 00:20:13,303
Look both ways before entering
the flow of traffic.
282
00:20:13,329 --> 00:20:16,554
Politeness pays, but look both ways.
283
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:21,097
Give her a little gas,
and let up lightly on the clutch.
284
00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:25,671
[Cheerful country instrumental music]
285
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,681
JUNIOR: Turn right!
286
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:51,947
What an asshole!
287
00:20:52,035 --> 00:20:53,067
[Fast-paced country song]
288
00:20:53,161 --> 00:20:56,286
Hold on, Dixie
Bandit's on the road again
289
00:20:56,706 --> 00:20:58,116
Look out!
290
00:21:01,253 --> 00:21:04,337
I'm going to be The Bandit. I'm going to...
291
00:21:05,757 --> 00:21:07,215
CLEDUS: Oh, Fred?
292
00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:10,964
CLEDUS: I mashed your doghouse, son,
but don't worry. I'll buy you...
293
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,826
CLEDUS: Fred, I'll buy you
a whole condominium.
294
00:21:13,862 --> 00:21:17,719
CLEDUS: Listen, with the money we...
Come here, you.
295
00:21:17,811 --> 00:21:22,601
CLEDUS: Now go find your fireplug.
I'm going to go put on my Bandit clothes.
296
00:21:22,638 --> 00:21:26,694
CLEDUS: I'm going to be The Bandit.
I'm going to be The Bandit! I love it!
297
00:21:26,730 --> 00:21:29,357
[Lively instrumental music]
298
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:42,911
[Klansmen laughing and whooping]
299
00:21:43,004 --> 00:21:45,611
KLANSMAN: Come on, get after him!
Hey, bubba!
300
00:21:45,647 --> 00:21:48,192
MAN: This ain't good, man.
This ain't good at all.
301
00:21:48,229 --> 00:21:51,571
I'm not scared of these crackers.
I'm black and I'm proud.
302
00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:54,804
Three hundred years
of experience tells me...
303
00:21:54,891 --> 00:21:58,045
that you aren't being nothing
but black and loud.
304
00:22:02,982 --> 00:22:07,035
- You better pull over.
- I ain't pulling over for nobody.
305
00:22:08,988 --> 00:22:11,444
[Lively instrumental music continues]
306
00:22:55,661 --> 00:22:57,738
[Car horn honking]
307
00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:01,644
JUNIOR: We're not making
very good time, Daddy.
308
00:23:01,660 --> 00:23:06,310
Well, as soon as I get around Col. Sanders,
all that'll change.
309
00:23:14,431 --> 00:23:18,341
What the hell are those
Klan clowns doing here?
310
00:23:18,392 --> 00:23:20,432
[Tyres screeching]
311
00:23:23,398 --> 00:23:26,020
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
312
00:23:36,161 --> 00:23:39,488
BUFORD: Here's how you
handle the Klan, Junior.
313
00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,043
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]
314
00:23:57,058 --> 00:23:58,033
[Chickens clucking]
315
00:23:58,121 --> 00:24:00,275
MAN: Get out of here, boy!
316
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:02,428
[Men laughing]
317
00:24:04,753 --> 00:24:09,665
Lord have mercy!
I must have died and gone to heaven!
318
00:24:10,946 --> 00:24:14,038
MAN: What goes around comes around!
319
00:24:14,325 --> 00:24:16,401
You ever join the Klan, Daddy?
320
00:24:16,494 --> 00:24:20,525
No chance. But your mama did.
321
00:24:20,562 --> 00:24:25,423
When she put on her sheet,
she looked like an iceberg with feet.
322
00:24:26,671 --> 00:24:30,086
CLEDUS: The lid is what's
going to make the kid.
323
00:24:31,134 --> 00:24:34,681
What do you think, my man?
I'm talking bad, Fred.
324
00:24:34,717 --> 00:24:37,963
I mean, you got your Bandit,
and then you got...
325
00:24:38,057 --> 00:24:40,786
Pray for that Bandit.
How about you, Smokey?
326
00:24:40,810 --> 00:24:42,475
You got them ears on?
327
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,972
Don't look at me like that, Fred.
328
00:24:47,067 --> 00:24:48,146
Fred!
329
00:24:48,235 --> 00:24:52,046
I told you I would love to take you, okay?
But I can't take you.
330
00:24:52,083 --> 00:24:54,633
The Bandit didn't have no dog
in the car with him!
331
00:24:54,670 --> 00:24:56,823
It just wouldn't look right.
332
00:24:56,911 --> 00:24:59,272
But... Look, Fred.
333
00:24:59,496 --> 00:25:02,282
What if you had your opportunity
to be Rin Tin Tin?
334
00:25:02,373 --> 00:25:04,458
You wouldn't say no to that, would you?
335
00:25:04,494 --> 00:25:07,335
No, you wouldn't. I get to be The Bandit.
336
00:25:07,421 --> 00:25:10,171
You want me to have that, don't you?
Sure, you do.
337
00:25:10,256 --> 00:25:13,531
You're my buddy.
Hey, I knew you was going to be lonesome.
338
00:25:13,568 --> 00:25:16,043
I knew I was going to be gone,
so I took care of you.
339
00:25:16,138 --> 00:25:19,298
CLEDUS: Now just a minute. Here.
Look here what I got for you, Fred.
340
00:25:19,391 --> 00:25:22,155
CLEDUS: I got you somebody I want you
to meet, Fred.
341
00:25:22,192 --> 00:25:24,011
This is Freda.
342
00:25:27,608 --> 00:25:30,470
There we go.
343
00:25:31,362 --> 00:25:35,424
Freda, Fred. Fred, Freda.
344
00:25:35,460 --> 00:25:39,135
And by the power vested in me,
as owner of both of you hounds...
345
00:25:39,171 --> 00:25:41,958
I now pronounce you basset and basset.
346
00:25:41,994 --> 00:25:45,619
Fred, that means you don't have to
half-ass it.
347
00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:47,836
You get it?
348
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:51,463
Excuse me. Listen. I've got work to do.
349
00:25:51,548 --> 00:25:53,621
You all have to entertain yourself...
350
00:25:53,658 --> 00:25:56,511
but The Bandit is gonna go smoke
some smokies.
351
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,215
[Car engine roaring]
352
00:26:01,433 --> 00:26:02,844
[Tyres screeching]
353
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:08,096
[Upbeat country instrumental music]
354
00:26:14,281 --> 00:26:17,077
I'll tell you what.
You want to see a bandit?
355
00:26:17,114 --> 00:26:20,830
You're looking at a bad bandit.
I'm talking bad.
356
00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:30,377
Never should've put me
in this thing, brother.
357
00:26:31,631 --> 00:26:32,746
[Upbeat country song]
358
00:26:32,841 --> 00:26:35,826
Hear that roar of thunder
359
00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:39,638
Hear those tyres scream
360
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,765
He's every boy's hero
361
00:26:43,309 --> 00:26:45,789
Every lady's dream
362
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,720
Flying down the highway
heading west
363
00:26:48,757 --> 00:26:49,639
They love me.
364
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:54,391
In a streak of black lightning
Called the Bandit Express
365
00:26:54,447 --> 00:26:58,658
Look out, The Bandit's comin'
Tyres screamin' engine hummin'
366
00:26:58,695 --> 00:27:00,563
Looks like The Bandit's
on the move
367
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,556
Bandit, if you could see
me now. They love me.
368
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:05,989
Look out, The Bandit's comin'.. Get
your money and warn the women
369
00:27:06,026 --> 00:27:08,704
Tell those smokeys
all to take a rest
370
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:13,467
'Cause they'll never get
the Bandit Express
371
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,591
They never learn.
372
00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:24,681
Look out, The Bandit's comin'
Get your money and warn the women
373
00:27:24,769 --> 00:27:27,806
Tell those smokeys all to take a rest
374
00:27:27,843 --> 00:27:31,459
'Cause they'll never get
the Bandit Express
375
00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:36,156
Whoa, they'll never get
the Bandit Express
376
00:27:42,286 --> 00:27:45,790
Junior, I want to tell you
an interesting story.
377
00:27:46,041 --> 00:27:50,928
When the Pilgrim Justices landed
on the shores of Texas...
378
00:27:51,713 --> 00:27:54,989
some of the male members of the family...
379
00:27:55,025 --> 00:27:57,334
became lawmen.
380
00:27:57,636 --> 00:28:01,171
All of the lawmen of the Justices...
381
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:03,528
had sixth sense.
382
00:28:03,565 --> 00:28:07,950
- That's too bad.
- What's too bad about having sixth sense?
383
00:28:08,042 --> 00:28:10,572
Well, that's not even a dime.
384
00:28:11,067 --> 00:28:13,735
Hi, folks, this is Dusty Trails,
speaking to you live...
385
00:28:13,819 --> 00:28:17,380
from Town's Autorama on the corner
of Second St. and Washington Blvd.
386
00:28:17,416 --> 00:28:19,445
I hope you're enjoying
our million-dollar movie...
387
00:28:19,534 --> 00:28:22,251
and you're going to enjoy hearing
from Skip.
388
00:28:22,288 --> 00:28:24,068
Take it away, Skip!
389
00:28:24,162 --> 00:28:27,437
Thank you, Dusty. Isn't she wonderfuI?
390
00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:30,433
Friends, before
I forget, don't you forget...
391
00:28:30,538 --> 00:28:33,437
to come out here on Sunday
and bring the kids.
392
00:28:33,881 --> 00:28:36,691
'Cause in addition to the best auto values
in town...
393
00:28:36,780 --> 00:28:41,189
we're giving away free oatmeaI cookies
baked by Dusty herself.
394
00:28:41,306 --> 00:28:44,556
Hard to believe somebody
so pretty can cook too, isn't it, friends?
395
00:28:44,642 --> 00:28:46,987
Let's talk about the special of the week.
396
00:28:47,024 --> 00:28:50,222
It's a '76 Mercury Monarch, fully loaded...
397
00:28:50,356 --> 00:28:52,226
but you don't have to be to buy it.
398
00:28:52,262 --> 00:28:56,604
Yes, this low-mileage honey
has got new rubber, factory air...
399
00:28:56,641 --> 00:29:02,271
AMIFM stereo and four brand-new shocks
that I personally installed myself.
400
00:29:02,308 --> 00:29:05,077
Dusty, why don't you tell them
about your cookies...
401
00:29:05,114 --> 00:29:08,445
while I climb up on the hood
and demonstrate?
402
00:29:10,711 --> 00:29:14,044
If you really want to save yourself
a lot of money and grief...
403
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,601
stay as far away from this dump as you can.
404
00:29:16,638 --> 00:29:19,675
See that fool jumping up
on the hood of that car?
405
00:29:19,845 --> 00:29:23,293
That fool wouldn't know a good deal
if someone gave him four aces.
406
00:29:23,330 --> 00:29:27,601
When I moved here, I didn't know a soul,
so I answered his ad for a bookkeeper.
407
00:29:27,637 --> 00:29:30,761
Should've been for a football player,
considering the passes he made at me.
408
00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:33,726
He told me he loved me, needed me,
and was leaving his wife.
409
00:29:33,817 --> 00:29:35,826
The only thing he left was fingerprints.
410
00:29:35,862 --> 00:29:38,082
Hell, he had no intention
of divorcing his wife.
411
00:29:38,176 --> 00:29:41,488
The only intention he had was conning
you people out of a lot of money.
412
00:29:41,575 --> 00:29:44,446
See that special he's jumping on?
It's a special, all right.
413
00:29:44,537 --> 00:29:47,207
Just add three zeroes
when you check out the mileage.
414
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:48,974
It used to be a taxi!
415
00:29:49,011 --> 00:29:53,553
This gal is taking a walk on Skip Town,
his lies, and his lemons!
416
00:29:53,796 --> 00:29:57,582
Folks, I'm a little irritated. Pardon me.
I hope you enjoy the movie.
417
00:29:57,675 --> 00:30:00,037
But I am leaving. Bye!
418
00:30:00,345 --> 00:30:02,738
Dusty, Skip's going to freak
when he hears that.
419
00:30:02,827 --> 00:30:04,547
DUSTY: That's his problem!
420
00:30:04,579 --> 00:30:06,830
DIRECTOR: Good luck, kid!
421
00:30:08,478 --> 00:30:12,150
DUSTY: Hold it! Thank you.
422
00:30:13,233 --> 00:30:15,210
I need a ride.
423
00:30:15,401 --> 00:30:17,193
CLEDUS: I hope you're going that way.
424
00:30:17,279 --> 00:30:20,093
DUSTY: I sure am. Go straight ahead.
425
00:30:22,451 --> 00:30:24,691
Look, do you mind if I change my clothes?
426
00:30:24,785 --> 00:30:26,993
Change your... What? In here?
427
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,277
Oh, sure. No problem for me.
428
00:30:29,314 --> 00:30:31,538
- Now? In the car?
- Yeah.
429
00:30:31,626 --> 00:30:34,607
You're not going to look.
You're not a peeping Tom, are you?
430
00:30:34,629 --> 00:30:38,212
- I'm not... No!
- Then there's no problem.
431
00:30:38,300 --> 00:30:41,795
No, you've got your peepers
and you've got your non-peepers.
432
00:30:41,831 --> 00:30:46,734
CLEDUS: I'm definitely a non-peeper.
But the car's a little weird.
433
00:30:47,392 --> 00:30:51,199
BUFORD: It's very important that a lawman
has sixth sense.
434
00:30:51,236 --> 00:30:53,502
BUFORD: 'Cause then
he can anticipate things...
435
00:30:53,539 --> 00:30:55,909
and prevent them from happening.
436
00:30:55,946 --> 00:30:58,751
Even a hound dog has sixth sense.
437
00:30:59,155 --> 00:31:02,743
MAMA TRUCKER: This is Mother Trucker
in the Hawaiian Tropic, on a smokey watch.
438
00:31:02,784 --> 00:31:06,946
Hey, is that you, Bandit?
Hey, you're looking good.
439
00:31:07,037 --> 00:31:10,039
CLEDUS: This is Bandit One calling.
Is that Mama Trucker out there?
440
00:31:10,124 --> 00:31:12,184
Your phone's ringing.
441
00:31:12,335 --> 00:31:14,199
That's a big 10-4, Bandit.
442
00:31:14,236 --> 00:31:16,999
MAMA TRUCKER: We got smokey on
our tail and he's moving fast.
443
00:31:17,090 --> 00:31:20,672
MAMA TRUCKER: You better come on in,
honey. Your patch is ready, teddy.
444
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,796
CLEDUS: I heard that.
If you're ready, just hold it steady.
445
00:31:23,888 --> 00:31:26,286
I'm coming in.
446
00:31:28,893 --> 00:31:31,739
Cledus, what are we doing under here?
447
00:31:31,775 --> 00:31:34,027
Just getting out of the sun.
448
00:31:35,149 --> 00:31:39,051
Look who just drove by. My.
Want to go fishing?
449
00:31:39,088 --> 00:31:41,276
- I'm game.
- Let's go.
450
00:31:43,784 --> 00:31:45,859
[Upbeat country instrumental music]
451
00:31:50,791 --> 00:31:55,481
If some crime is going to be committed,
I know it before they start to commit it.
452
00:31:55,567 --> 00:31:57,423
BUFORD: And I can put a stop to it.
453
00:31:57,459 --> 00:31:59,581
BUFORD: If somebody's going to do
something to me...
454
00:31:59,675 --> 00:32:03,202
immediately, I know
they're doing something to me.
455
00:32:03,345 --> 00:32:06,994
That is why you got to have a sixth sense.
456
00:32:07,558 --> 00:32:10,070
I'd rather have a dime.
457
00:32:13,272 --> 00:32:15,680
[Upbeat country instrumental music
continues]
458
00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:18,593
Hi, boys!
459
00:32:19,027 --> 00:32:20,709
How do.
460
00:32:20,946 --> 00:32:22,357
Bye, boys!
461
00:32:23,366 --> 00:32:25,110
[Exclaims]
462
00:32:25,201 --> 00:32:28,596
It's The Bandit! Son of a bitch!
463
00:32:28,633 --> 00:32:30,155
And he's got my fish!
464
00:32:30,247 --> 00:32:35,648
As of this instant, Junior,
we're in hot pursuit!
465
00:32:36,295 --> 00:32:38,750
[Fast-paced upbeat instrumental music]
466
00:32:45,658 --> 00:32:50,833
Look who we got down here.
I guess we better chat with the old boy.
467
00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:54,636
You take this and just have yourself
a conversation with Buford T.
468
00:32:54,731 --> 00:32:56,633
- Go ahead. Go.
- What do I do?
469
00:32:56,669 --> 00:32:59,357
You just talk in it.
Mash that little thing in and talk.
470
00:32:59,444 --> 00:33:02,129
DUSTY: Hello? Mr. Justice?
471
00:33:02,165 --> 00:33:04,762
DUSTY: How you folks doing down there?
472
00:33:04,798 --> 00:33:07,234
We're doing fine, little lady.
473
00:33:07,270 --> 00:33:11,613
And may I advise you that you're consorting
with a criminal.
474
00:33:11,706 --> 00:33:15,242
So when he goes to the slammer,
you go, too.
475
00:33:15,279 --> 00:33:16,585
Oh, really?
476
00:33:16,670 --> 00:33:21,140
While you're at it,
why don't you take a big dump in your hat!
477
00:33:21,176 --> 00:33:23,075
Hold it! Watch that language.
478
00:33:23,111 --> 00:33:27,508
I happen to have my son in the car.
Over and out.
479
00:33:27,681 --> 00:33:30,763
- Thank you, Daddy.
- Shut up, shit.
480
00:33:31,852 --> 00:33:34,723
[Fast-paced upbeat instrumental music
continues]
481
00:33:43,155 --> 00:33:46,770
BIG ENOS: Breaker, breaker, El Bandito,
this is Muddy and Sunny.
482
00:33:46,807 --> 00:33:48,651
BIG ENOS: What's your 20?
What's your story?
483
00:33:48,786 --> 00:33:51,075
You want to get that call?
I'm a little busy.
484
00:33:51,163 --> 00:33:54,062
DUSTY: Yeah. Hello?
485
00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:58,086
Hello, boys!
Yeah, this is the Bandit Mobile calling!
486
00:33:58,122 --> 00:34:01,165
DUSTY: The man here says you're going
to get your shark before dark!
487
00:34:01,257 --> 00:34:04,658
Long as you don't get funny
with the money. - Who's that?
488
00:34:04,677 --> 00:34:08,237
Probably some floozy he picked up
by the side of the road.
489
00:34:09,056 --> 00:34:12,895
CLEDUS: Come on, Buford!
Bring it on, brother!
490
00:34:17,523 --> 00:34:18,898
[Exclaims in approval]
491
00:34:19,442 --> 00:34:23,587
I sure wouldn't mind a romp
in your melon patch.
492
00:34:23,740 --> 00:34:25,696
[Car engines roaring past]
493
00:34:26,658 --> 00:34:28,983
What the hell was that?
494
00:34:29,076 --> 00:34:32,363
Sorry, honey.
I'll have to get back to you later.
495
00:34:32,748 --> 00:34:34,989
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
496
00:34:38,754 --> 00:34:40,581
[Police siren blaring]
497
00:34:47,138 --> 00:34:51,919
Excuse me, Sheriff. Why don't you just
let me handle this situation here?
498
00:34:52,059 --> 00:34:55,643
Pardon me, young man,
but you happen to be talking to...
499
00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:58,535
Sheriff Buford T. Justice...
500
00:34:58,607 --> 00:35:01,643
and I'm about to apprehend The Bandit.
501
00:35:01,735 --> 00:35:05,788
Cledus, you attract more fuzz
than a fat man's navel.
502
00:35:05,824 --> 00:35:07,363
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]
503
00:35:09,868 --> 00:35:13,238
I wouldn't give a rat's ass
if you was J. Edgar Hoover...
504
00:35:13,414 --> 00:35:15,656
and he was Machine Gun Kelly.
505
00:35:15,750 --> 00:35:17,541
You're out of your jurisdiction.
506
00:35:17,627 --> 00:35:20,033
I might be out of my jurisdiction...
507
00:35:20,212 --> 00:35:24,866
but you're out of your league. Now back off!
508
00:35:25,927 --> 00:35:30,717
OFFICER: I ain't backing off of
nothing, Sheriff. I'm taking charge!
509
00:35:31,140 --> 00:35:33,696
DUSTY: Boy, they're really coming.
510
00:35:33,935 --> 00:35:36,859
I'll tell you what. You just watch. Hang on.
511
00:35:37,605 --> 00:35:39,645
[Upbeat country song]
512
00:35:51,724 --> 00:35:54,573
Am I glad I came along on this trip.
513
00:36:44,048 --> 00:36:47,217
I'm surrounded by lunatics.
514
00:36:49,429 --> 00:36:51,966
[Upbeat country song continues]
515
00:36:58,772 --> 00:37:02,516
Sheriff? You might want to
forget about losing me...
516
00:37:02,553 --> 00:37:04,894
'cause I'm here for the duration!
517
00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:29,094
[Officer screaming]
518
00:37:29,387 --> 00:37:30,666
OFFICER: Shit!
519
00:37:51,491 --> 00:37:53,888
Far out!
520
00:37:57,582 --> 00:38:01,972
Bandit? You're in a heap of trouble.
521
00:38:03,337 --> 00:38:05,137
Did you see that, Daddy?
522
00:38:05,174 --> 00:38:09,626
That's what happens when you
lock horns with beautiful Buford.
523
00:38:14,557 --> 00:38:17,130
[Lively country instrumental music]
524
00:38:27,154 --> 00:38:30,732
Breaker for that Sandbox Man.
How about you, Sandbox Man?
525
00:38:30,769 --> 00:38:33,781
The Bandit's ringing your phone, you copy?
526
00:38:33,910 --> 00:38:36,177
Hey, is that you, Bandit?
527
00:38:36,247 --> 00:38:38,796
Looks like you got Smokey on your tail!
528
00:38:38,832 --> 00:38:42,896
Right you are!
He's kicking in my back door! Hello?
529
00:38:42,932 --> 00:38:45,470
Bring him by here! We'll take care of that!
530
00:38:45,507 --> 00:38:49,336
CLEDUS: I heard that.
We're bringing it. Bye.
531
00:38:51,178 --> 00:38:53,669
[Lively country instrumental music
continues]
532
00:38:55,182 --> 00:38:58,310
- Come on, Buford!
- He won't give up, will he?
533
00:39:00,145 --> 00:39:02,850
[Lively country instrumental music
continues]
534
00:39:13,492 --> 00:39:15,519
What did I tell you?
535
00:39:16,620 --> 00:39:21,892
You know what happens next, honey?
Were gone. Bye, Buford!
536
00:39:30,593 --> 00:39:34,247
Gee, Daddy, this is just like
being at the beach.
537
00:39:34,764 --> 00:39:38,110
It's a minor complication.
538
00:39:38,351 --> 00:39:43,393
Nothing's going to stop me from catching
that big pile of dragon dump.
539
00:39:43,481 --> 00:39:45,189
And when I do...
540
00:39:45,275 --> 00:39:48,756
I'm going to marinate his walnuts.
541
00:39:49,446 --> 00:39:51,944
Get out and dust off the car.
542
00:39:51,991 --> 00:39:54,066
[Tyres screeching]
543
00:39:55,410 --> 00:39:57,907
I don't want to foul up your plans
or anything...
544
00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:01,117
but I didn't get any breakfast this morning
and I'm half-starved.
545
00:40:01,208 --> 00:40:04,742
Why don't we pull in up here
and get us a pound of ground round...
546
00:40:04,836 --> 00:40:06,793
and put it down our neck.
547
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:08,667
Sounds good.
548
00:40:13,636 --> 00:40:16,128
[Slow country instrumental music]
549
00:40:30,571 --> 00:40:34,644
CLEDUS: Listen. I think what we have here
is a skull orchard.
550
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,075
CLEDUS: Maybe you ought to stay here
and let me get the cheeseburgers...
551
00:40:38,162 --> 00:40:41,489
'cause I'm not sure
this is a place for ladies. Okay?
552
00:40:43,626 --> 00:40:47,613
DUSTY: Cledus, make those burgers rare.
It'll go quicker.
553
00:40:52,594 --> 00:40:56,689
Nice looking set of wheels.
How are you doing, my man?
554
00:40:57,014 --> 00:40:59,989
Yeah. Question's too hard, I guess.
555
00:41:00,394 --> 00:41:03,832
Rare, Cledus. Make them real rare, okay?
556
00:41:03,854 --> 00:41:06,392
Rare. She wants it rare?
I'm going to get it so rare...
557
00:41:06,482 --> 00:41:08,939
a good vet. could have it on its feet
in 15 minutes.
558
00:41:09,027 --> 00:41:11,234
What do you think?
559
00:41:12,447 --> 00:41:14,818
I didn't mean to wake you up.
560
00:41:20,956 --> 00:41:23,534
MAN: So long, cowboy!
561
00:41:30,924 --> 00:41:33,404
Was that with or without onions?
562
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,193
Onions.
563
00:41:35,345 --> 00:41:38,622
With onions. Yeah, with onions.
564
00:41:38,724 --> 00:41:41,298
Be right back. Yes, sir.
565
00:41:42,145 --> 00:41:43,604
[People exclaim]
566
00:41:44,980 --> 00:41:46,522
[Cledus groaning]
567
00:41:46,732 --> 00:41:51,216
We didn't discuss this earlier, but do you
want a large, small, or medium drink?
568
00:41:51,253 --> 00:41:53,852
- Extra large.
- Extra large.
569
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,099
Be right back.
570
00:41:57,701 --> 00:41:59,825
[Cledus grunting and groaning]
571
00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,789
MAN: Go get him, Jimmy!
572
00:42:07,670 --> 00:42:10,458
CLEDUS: Well, I guess we ruined
your whole day didn't we?
573
00:42:10,548 --> 00:42:13,466
How about some onion rings, honey?
They got-
574
00:42:13,551 --> 00:42:15,010
[Furniture crashing]
575
00:42:18,139 --> 00:42:20,428
See? And you remember-
576
00:42:28,295 --> 00:42:32,400
Let that be a lesson to you.
They're sacking them up right now.
577
00:42:32,863 --> 00:42:34,800
MAN 1: Get him!
CLEDUS: Thank you, my man.
578
00:42:37,179 --> 00:42:38,314
MAN 2: What an animal!
579
00:42:38,472 --> 00:42:39,821
CLEDUS: See you.
580
00:42:41,372 --> 00:42:43,910
One cheeseburger for the lady.
581
00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:49,162
CLEDUS: Well, all right, my man. Thank you.
582
00:42:49,838 --> 00:42:52,802
DUSTY: Hey, Cledus, you forgot the mustard.
583
00:42:53,008 --> 00:42:57,362
CLEDUS: I forgot the mustard.
Women. Sit down.
584
00:42:58,222 --> 00:43:02,537
CLEDUS: Me and you gone,
like a big caboose.
585
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,866
CLEDUS: See you!
586
00:43:06,647 --> 00:43:07,927
[Tyres screeching]
587
00:43:13,696 --> 00:43:16,512
Breaker, breaker, Mr. Bandit.
588
00:43:16,657 --> 00:43:19,065
You might as well give up the ghost.
589
00:43:19,285 --> 00:43:23,955
'Cause I'm staying with you
like stink on a skunk.
590
00:43:24,020 --> 00:43:25,874
Here he comes.
591
00:43:25,958 --> 00:43:27,950
JUNIOR: We got him now, Daddy.
592
00:43:29,003 --> 00:43:31,162
[Fast-paced country instrumental music]
593
00:43:31,715 --> 00:43:33,921
DUSTY: Watch out for those eggs!
594
00:43:39,514 --> 00:43:41,886
We almost scrambled some eggs back there.
595
00:43:41,975 --> 00:43:45,225
Well, see,
I was hoping for a Buford omelette.
596
00:43:46,687 --> 00:43:49,144
[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
597
00:43:56,614 --> 00:43:58,061
We lost him.
598
00:43:58,074 --> 00:44:02,696
Talent and pure intelligence
will always triumph over ignorance-
599
00:44:02,788 --> 00:44:03,533
[Car horn honking]
600
00:44:04,539 --> 00:44:07,113
[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
601
00:44:09,294 --> 00:44:11,926
He may be dumb, but he ain't scared.
602
00:44:18,303 --> 00:44:20,130
MAN: Oh, dang it!
603
00:44:24,769 --> 00:44:26,096
MAN: Not again!
604
00:44:35,113 --> 00:44:38,925
- He's still coming!
- I'm going as fast as I can!
605
00:44:41,285 --> 00:44:43,777
JUNIOR: You should've turned right, Daddy.
606
00:44:49,919 --> 00:44:53,428
FLORIST: My flowers!
Look what they did to my flowers.
607
00:45:01,973 --> 00:45:05,010
[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
608
00:45:20,783 --> 00:45:22,159
[Cledus chuckles]
609
00:45:23,183 --> 00:45:24,402
God!
610
00:45:29,334 --> 00:45:33,124
What the hell are you trying to do,
you homicidal idiot?
611
00:45:33,172 --> 00:45:35,793
Back up and get the hell out of here!
612
00:45:35,883 --> 00:45:38,290
It's kind of a tight alley.
I'm gonna need some help.
613
00:45:38,385 --> 00:45:41,376
- No problem. I'll direct you.
- If you say so.
614
00:45:41,412 --> 00:45:43,588
Okay, back up.
615
00:45:45,350 --> 00:45:48,304
That's it. You're in the clear here.
616
00:45:49,563 --> 00:45:52,190
You're in the clear there.
617
00:45:52,232 --> 00:45:54,606
Keep going. You're in the clear.
618
00:45:56,988 --> 00:45:58,529
BUFORD: Clear on this side.
619
00:45:58,614 --> 00:46:01,152
BUFORD: Clear on that side. Clear on-
620
00:46:01,241 --> 00:46:03,275
JUNIOR: Daddy?
BUFORD: Shut up!
621
00:46:03,745 --> 00:46:06,746
BUFORD: Clear on this side.
Back it up there.
622
00:46:07,082 --> 00:46:09,412
- But, Daddy!
- Shut up, shit!
623
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:12,441
You're all clear now. Whip on out.
624
00:46:17,384 --> 00:46:21,718
Now, do you see,
what you did with your "Daddy. "
625
00:46:22,013 --> 00:46:24,848
JUNIOR: But, Daddy, look!
626
00:46:27,851 --> 00:46:31,538
Hold it!
627
00:46:32,065 --> 00:46:34,603
Just what are you trying to do, nice lady?
628
00:46:34,734 --> 00:46:37,618
I'm about to tow this car to the garage.
629
00:46:37,779 --> 00:46:40,158
And may I inquire why?
630
00:46:40,195 --> 00:46:43,110
It's parked illegally
and creating a fire hazard.
631
00:46:43,201 --> 00:46:45,527
And it's one big piece of crap.
632
00:46:45,621 --> 00:46:51,007
May I say, madam, that
you are talking to Buford T. Justice.
633
00:46:51,043 --> 00:46:54,568
I wouldn't care if you
were Sugar Ray Leonard.
634
00:46:55,297 --> 00:46:57,705
COP: Come on, Charlie, let's pull out.
635
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,524
You woman's lib sumbitch.
636
00:47:02,513 --> 00:47:04,838
BUFORD: Get up there and unhook it.
637
00:47:10,688 --> 00:47:13,860
BUFORD: Unhook it!
I'm putting it in reverse!
638
00:47:13,899 --> 00:47:16,878
It's too heavy, Daddy.
639
00:47:18,778 --> 00:47:24,216
I can't get any traction. Unhook it.
I'm gonna give it all it's got!
640
00:47:30,207 --> 00:47:34,839
- Oh, shit, Charlie! He's getting away.
- No, he's not.
641
00:47:35,296 --> 00:47:37,687
COP: Get that sucker off!
642
00:47:38,591 --> 00:47:41,296
[Fast-paced country instrumental music]
643
00:47:45,641 --> 00:47:48,244
JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy! Wait for me!
644
00:47:49,373 --> 00:47:52,223
JUNIOR: I'm right behind you.
Don't leave me.
645
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:54,268
JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy.
646
00:47:57,590 --> 00:48:00,523
JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy. Wait for me, Daddy.
647
00:48:02,991 --> 00:48:05,150
I'm getting dizzy, Daddy.
648
00:48:08,455 --> 00:48:10,072
Wait, Daddy.
649
00:48:10,457 --> 00:48:12,284
[Car horns blaring]
650
00:48:13,335 --> 00:48:16,704
WOMAN: Look! You were going so fast!
MAN: I'm sorry.
651
00:48:16,797 --> 00:48:19,909
WOMAN: You came around the corner here,
I couldn't get out of the way.
652
00:48:19,925 --> 00:48:23,175
WOMAN: Young man, how old are you?
COP: Are you all right, ma'am?
653
00:48:23,261 --> 00:48:24,886
WOMAN: I'm trying to look at my car!
654
00:48:24,971 --> 00:48:26,846
WOMAN: Do you know who my husband is?
655
00:48:26,933 --> 00:48:28,807
JUNIOR: Hold it, Daddy.
656
00:48:28,893 --> 00:48:31,346
JUNIOR: I think I'm falling.
657
00:48:35,608 --> 00:48:38,479
[Fast-paced country instrumental music
continues]
658
00:48:51,498 --> 00:48:53,456
[Tyres screeching]
659
00:49:02,927 --> 00:49:06,940
Well, nice lady, it looks
like we meet again.
660
00:49:06,977 --> 00:49:09,991
COP: Would you please call a tow truck?
661
00:49:10,268 --> 00:49:13,752
Not if you were Sugar Ray Leonard.
662
00:49:14,147 --> 00:49:17,850
BUFORD: Would you look around in that junk
and see if my son's in there?
663
00:49:18,569 --> 00:49:20,145
Here I am, Daddy.
664
00:49:20,236 --> 00:49:23,646
Would you stop playing with your coconuts
and get in the car?
665
00:49:23,656 --> 00:49:24,857
Okay.
666
00:49:26,368 --> 00:49:28,028
[Junior crashing on the ground]
667
00:49:38,088 --> 00:49:42,786
ANNOUNCER: Okay, folks, we welcome you
all to the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show.
668
00:49:42,822 --> 00:49:45,298
We're readying the wall of fire right now.
669
00:49:45,387 --> 00:49:47,676
There are thrills and chills galore.
670
00:49:47,765 --> 00:49:50,800
And as the wall of fire is getting ready-
671
00:49:50,975 --> 00:49:52,554
[Car horn honking]
672
00:49:53,229 --> 00:49:55,767
ANNOUNCER: The crowd's
really getting excited at this point.
673
00:49:55,856 --> 00:49:58,526
I don't blame them one bit. Wait a minute!
674
00:49:58,609 --> 00:50:00,602
I think we've got a surprise visitor.
675
00:50:00,694 --> 00:50:04,941
Yes, we've got The Bandit making
a guest appearance here...
676
00:50:05,016 --> 00:50:08,076
at the Joie Chitwood Thrill Show.
677
00:50:08,870 --> 00:50:10,329
[Crowd cheering]
678
00:50:10,830 --> 00:50:13,285
- Where are we, Daddy?
- Indianapolis.
679
00:50:13,374 --> 00:50:15,413
How the hell do I know where we are?
680
00:50:23,801 --> 00:50:27,646
- Daddy, I'm scared.
- I know. I can smell it.
681
00:50:27,847 --> 00:50:30,635
ANNOUNCER: And right into
a couple of demolition cars there.
682
00:50:30,725 --> 00:50:34,099
Buford Justice,
coming around behind The Bandit.
683
00:50:35,397 --> 00:50:37,603
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
684
00:50:39,443 --> 00:50:42,372
The nuthouse must be having a picnic!
685
00:50:43,655 --> 00:50:46,193
- Look out, Daddy.
- Don't tell me to look out!
686
00:50:46,283 --> 00:50:49,487
- Tell them to look out!
- Look out!
687
00:50:49,619 --> 00:50:52,953
ANNOUNCER: Four tough guys out there.
688
00:50:57,794 --> 00:50:59,704
Listen to those people!
689
00:50:59,797 --> 00:51:02,466
They think I did that on purpose.
They love me!
690
00:51:02,549 --> 00:51:05,087
Hi there! Hey, you all!
691
00:51:07,220 --> 00:51:09,943
Cledus. We got to go.
692
00:51:09,979 --> 00:51:12,549
- My people!
- We gotta go. Bye!
693
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:14,804
ANNOUNCER: Here we go!
694
00:51:22,235 --> 00:51:24,229
BUFORD: What the hell is happening?
695
00:51:24,322 --> 00:51:27,115
Climb out the window, Junior,
and weigh the car down.
696
00:51:27,152 --> 00:51:28,408
JUNIOR: Yes, Daddy.
697
00:51:34,999 --> 00:51:38,913
- There's lots of people out here.
- Well, push, Junior, push!
698
00:51:39,003 --> 00:51:40,118
Damn!
699
00:51:40,213 --> 00:51:43,083
I'm trying, Daddy. My foot's stuck.
700
00:51:43,174 --> 00:51:45,499
I'll release it.
701
00:51:46,761 --> 00:51:50,609
BUFORD: You're killing your daddy!
702
00:51:51,809 --> 00:51:54,204
Get back in the damn car!
703
00:51:54,435 --> 00:51:56,160
Yes, Daddy.
704
00:51:56,771 --> 00:51:59,477
ANNOUNCER: They ain't coming down.
I think they-
705
00:52:01,860 --> 00:52:04,773
Tell them to get out of my way!
I'm coming through!
706
00:52:04,809 --> 00:52:08,357
JUNIOR: He's getting awful close.
Straighten out.
707
00:52:09,493 --> 00:52:12,068
Daddy, we're going into a big hole.
708
00:52:12,104 --> 00:52:14,366
BUFORD: Hole, hell! That's a cannon!
709
00:52:26,552 --> 00:52:29,342
What the heck is all this?
710
00:52:29,388 --> 00:52:31,427
Well, the bridge is out.
711
00:52:31,765 --> 00:52:34,153
Well, what do you think
The Bandit would do?
712
00:52:34,184 --> 00:52:37,933
He'd just jump it.
See, but The Bandit will jump anything.
713
00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:41,024
Get it? But I ain't interested
in jumping no river...
714
00:52:41,109 --> 00:52:43,350
I wanna go to sleep. I'm tired.
715
00:52:43,444 --> 00:52:46,468
- I saw a motel right down the road.
- Can you find it?
716
00:52:46,505 --> 00:52:49,083
- Sure can.
- We are gone.
717
00:52:55,497 --> 00:52:57,455
BIG ENOS: Well, good job!
718
00:52:57,542 --> 00:53:01,376
BIG ENOS: You gotta try and do
the same thing when the sheriff gets here.
719
00:53:01,413 --> 00:53:04,004
That won't be hard, on account
of Sheriff Justice has only got...
720
00:53:04,089 --> 00:53:06,511
a child's portion of intellect.
721
00:53:06,548 --> 00:53:10,063
BIG ENOS: Come on!
This is gonna be a ton of fun, son.
722
00:53:10,100 --> 00:53:11,882
Pleasure doing business with you!
723
00:53:14,434 --> 00:53:17,537
CLEDUS: Okay! Your turn.
724
00:53:19,147 --> 00:53:20,689
[Toilet flushing]
725
00:53:20,773 --> 00:53:22,602
I didn't wash the fish.
726
00:53:22,693 --> 00:53:24,566
Left you...
727
00:53:24,778 --> 00:53:26,742
plenty of hot water.
728
00:53:26,821 --> 00:53:28,861
Come on, here.
729
00:53:28,948 --> 00:53:31,695
$250,000 boy!
730
00:53:31,869 --> 00:53:33,861
I'll get you to...
731
00:53:35,247 --> 00:53:36,926
Yeah, okay.
732
00:53:36,963 --> 00:53:38,866
[Shower running]
733
00:53:40,482 --> 00:53:43,120
I'll buy Fred a...
734
00:53:43,671 --> 00:53:47,915
This is a strange thing.
735
00:53:53,932 --> 00:53:56,220
This is... Oh.
736
00:53:56,394 --> 00:53:58,552
CLEDUS: Oh. Well.
737
00:53:59,730 --> 00:54:01,272
[Tyres screeching]
738
00:54:05,820 --> 00:54:09,132
JUNIOR: What is it, Daddy?
BUFORD: There's The Bandit's car.
739
00:54:09,198 --> 00:54:12,595
BUFORD: He probably checked in
to the motel with that broad.
740
00:54:12,597 --> 00:54:14,201
And he's got the fish with him.
741
00:54:14,286 --> 00:54:17,786
Now, when he's fooling around
and thinking of other things...
742
00:54:17,873 --> 00:54:21,862
BUFORD: we can snatch the fish.
JUNIOR: Thinking of what other things?
743
00:54:21,988 --> 00:54:25,420
BUFORD: You're getting to me.
Just play with your crayons.
744
00:54:28,259 --> 00:54:31,629
[Fast-paced rock music playing]
745
00:54:33,014 --> 00:54:37,500
Daddy, we just walked by
a penicillin dispenser.
746
00:54:37,602 --> 00:54:43,225
Yeah. I feel like the guest of honour
at a crabs convention.
747
00:54:45,568 --> 00:54:48,321
I'm on the floor.
748
00:54:50,115 --> 00:54:52,404
CLEDUS: I'm on the floor.
749
00:54:56,121 --> 00:54:59,734
You be sure to turn out the lights, now,
when you come in here, right?
750
00:54:59,770 --> 00:55:01,936
DUSTY: Right.
CLEDUS: Yes, ma'am.
751
00:55:05,005 --> 00:55:07,050
CLEDUS: Good night.
752
00:55:11,094 --> 00:55:14,651
What the hell is this, another raid?
I paid the Captain two nights ago!
753
00:55:14,745 --> 00:55:16,286
This isn't a raid.
754
00:55:16,370 --> 00:55:20,925
I'm here on official business.
I'm going to make an investigation.
755
00:55:20,962 --> 00:55:24,410
Now you just go ahead and read
your Gonad Gazette.
756
00:55:27,361 --> 00:55:28,985
DUSTY: And here we are in a motel...
757
00:55:29,071 --> 00:55:31,397
with nothing but a few potted plants
between us...
758
00:55:31,491 --> 00:55:33,964
but I know I don't have to worry one bit.
759
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,300
No, Cledus, I know you're the kind of man...
760
00:55:36,336 --> 00:55:37,489
who has the kind of character...
761
00:55:37,579 --> 00:55:40,834
who does not hop into bed
with just anybody.
762
00:55:42,668 --> 00:55:44,957
Right, Cledus?
763
00:55:45,129 --> 00:55:46,458
[Cledus snoring]
764
00:55:56,307 --> 00:55:58,885
Oh, no, you don't!
765
00:56:02,855 --> 00:56:05,229
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
766
00:56:16,953 --> 00:56:19,111
[Fast-paced rock music]
767
00:56:27,297 --> 00:56:29,041
- Who's in there, Daddy?
- I don't know...
768
00:56:29,133 --> 00:56:31,564
but it's not Jacques Cousteau.
769
00:56:37,349 --> 00:56:40,997
- What's going on?
- Some kind of union meeting.
770
00:56:48,736 --> 00:56:51,737
Get away from there
before you get a herpes on you.
771
00:56:53,073 --> 00:56:55,825
Daddy. Like you said.
772
00:56:56,493 --> 00:56:58,819
LITTLE ENOS: Make a wish.
773
00:56:58,913 --> 00:57:00,323
Yeah!
774
00:57:00,414 --> 00:57:02,192
Oh, geez!
775
00:57:02,959 --> 00:57:04,999
Oh!
776
00:57:05,337 --> 00:57:06,830
[Men murmuring]
777
00:57:07,421 --> 00:57:09,208
Oh, no boys.
778
00:57:09,245 --> 00:57:12,632
BIG ENOS: Leave my daughter alone!
LITTLE ENOS: What's the rubber glove for?
779
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:15,175
BIG ENOS: You let my daughter alone!
780
00:57:16,805 --> 00:57:21,481
Daddy, there's a fish
that looks exactly like our fish!
781
00:57:24,147 --> 00:57:29,150
That is our fish, you moose twit! Grab it!
782
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,902
[Fast-paced rock music continues]
783
00:57:37,077 --> 00:57:41,154
Hey, making it with a fish!
784
00:57:41,190 --> 00:57:43,422
Crazy!
785
00:57:46,504 --> 00:57:50,813
BUFORD: Just like the Bible says,
Sodom and Gomorrah.
786
00:57:57,431 --> 00:57:59,131
BUFORD: The Bandit!
787
00:57:59,224 --> 00:58:03,680
We can kill two possums with one rock.
Come on.
788
00:58:10,862 --> 00:58:13,187
[Fast-paced rock music continues]
789
00:58:18,953 --> 00:58:22,304
BUFORD: I got you.
HOOKER: I got you.
790
00:58:23,124 --> 00:58:26,825
Now, wait a minute, ma'am.
What the hell are you doing in there...
791
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,126
all dressed up with a cowboy hat on?
792
00:58:29,213 --> 00:58:32,962
I'm getting all hot and bothered
for the evening, darling.
793
00:58:34,469 --> 00:58:36,795
- Come along with me.
- You got it!
794
00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:41,436
- Give me the key, Junior.
- I left it in the car.
795
00:58:41,768 --> 00:58:46,379
- You left the key in the car?
- If I keep it with me, I might lose it.
796
00:58:46,416 --> 00:58:48,622
We gotta stay hooked up
for a little while longer.
797
00:58:48,659 --> 00:58:50,475
This is getting-
798
00:58:53,301 --> 00:58:55,488
Good heavens.
799
00:58:56,909 --> 00:58:58,491
We can't get out that way.
800
00:58:58,576 --> 00:59:01,410
There must be some other way
out of this joint.
801
00:59:01,455 --> 00:59:03,867
Maybe there's a window in the bathroom.
802
00:59:03,903 --> 00:59:05,272
BUFORD: Let's find out.
803
00:59:07,878 --> 00:59:11,631
HOOKER: Wait will you! My hat!
BUFORD: The hell with the hat.
804
00:59:11,632 --> 00:59:15,006
Just perfect. Open up
the window a little bit.
805
00:59:17,262 --> 00:59:19,136
[Buford screaming]
806
00:59:19,389 --> 00:59:23,501
BUFORD: You're pulling my arm off!
HOOKER: I can't help it, darling!
807
00:59:23,537 --> 00:59:27,634
All right, get on your back.
Turn around and get on your back.
808
00:59:27,774 --> 00:59:29,315
BUFORD: That's it.
809
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:32,594
BUFORD: Now start to wiggle out.
810
00:59:32,861 --> 00:59:35,567
BUFORD: That's it, wiggle. Keep wiggling.
811
00:59:35,657 --> 00:59:39,485
I can't do it
unless you come with me, darling.
812
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:42,229
Will you get out of the way?
813
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,998
BUFORD: I can't-
814
00:59:51,747 --> 00:59:53,700
BUFORD: God!
JUNIOR: Mama's not gonna like this.
815
00:59:53,758 --> 00:59:58,687
Junior! Open the window up
and give me a push!
816
00:59:58,722 --> 01:00:00,714
[Buford screaming]
817
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,762
All clear, Daddy?
818
01:00:07,939 --> 01:00:10,015
Good. Here comes the fish!
819
01:00:10,275 --> 01:00:11,769
[Buford groans]
820
01:00:16,866 --> 01:00:20,284
JUNIOR: Daddy, I think I should
get the key now.
821
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,040
No shit.
822
01:00:22,704 --> 01:00:25,161
BIG ENOS: Come on,
we gotta get out of here.
823
01:00:25,249 --> 01:00:27,456
Watch out for that guy with the-
824
01:00:27,543 --> 01:00:29,700
Oh, we gotta get out of this!
825
01:00:29,794 --> 01:00:32,359
I'm sorry things didn't turn out
the way we expected.
826
01:00:32,396 --> 01:00:34,961
- Especially you getting the big guy.
- Don't talk to me.
827
01:00:35,051 --> 01:00:37,126
- What's the matter?
- I'm trying to remember his number.
828
01:00:37,261 --> 01:00:40,717
We got to get out of these dresses
and get back to business.
829
01:00:40,753 --> 01:00:44,893
Let's see, was it 555-1414?
830
01:00:45,269 --> 01:00:49,472
BIG ENOS: Okay.
LITTLE ENOS: Or 555-4141?
831
01:00:49,856 --> 01:00:51,399
[Pleasant country song]
832
01:00:54,526 --> 01:00:59,197
You're killing your daddy!
Get in the damn car!
833
01:00:59,368 --> 01:01:02,906
LITTLE ENOS: 555-1415?
834
01:01:07,459 --> 01:01:11,195
Just slide it in and come in after it.
835
01:01:14,507 --> 01:01:17,127
Take that fish out of my mouth!
836
01:01:18,136 --> 01:01:20,887
Just slide it- God damn it!
837
01:01:20,971 --> 01:01:23,242
Let me have it!
838
01:01:25,269 --> 01:01:27,261
BUFORD: Now close the door.
839
01:01:27,729 --> 01:01:29,010
[Buford screams in pain]
840
01:01:33,485 --> 01:01:35,229
Very nice, Junior.
841
01:01:35,362 --> 01:01:37,189
That was very nice.
842
01:01:37,447 --> 01:01:40,069
You know, when this is all over...
843
01:01:40,366 --> 01:01:43,565
I'm gonna buy you a nice lobotomy.
844
01:01:43,912 --> 01:01:45,027
Thank you, Daddy!
845
01:01:45,831 --> 01:01:47,989
[Pleasant country song continues]
846
01:02:00,324 --> 01:02:04,136
Come on, let's give him a taste
of the old Enos devil darts.
847
01:02:05,475 --> 01:02:08,141
These suckers are deadlier than your breath.
848
01:02:08,229 --> 01:02:11,312
BIG ENOS: Here they come. Get ready.
849
01:02:15,111 --> 01:02:16,190
[Tyres screeching]
850
01:02:16,279 --> 01:02:20,270
Done like a true pygmy!
851
01:02:21,908 --> 01:02:25,050
LITTLE ENOS: Great!
BIG ENOS: That'll be a 20-minute delay.
852
01:02:25,142 --> 01:02:26,829
LITTLE ENOS: Yeah, at least.
853
01:02:31,710 --> 01:02:33,825
I'm really sorry about that fish, Cledus...
854
01:02:33,861 --> 01:02:36,801
but I had no idea there were
fish robbers in the area.
855
01:02:36,837 --> 01:02:40,166
What if The Bandit had lost the fish?
What would he do?
856
01:02:40,471 --> 01:02:44,218
- The Bandit would get it back.
- That's what we're gonna do.
857
01:02:44,307 --> 01:02:46,015
JUNIOR: It's flat, Daddy.
858
01:02:47,685 --> 01:02:50,495
Flatter than your mama's chest.
859
01:02:54,442 --> 01:02:57,972
- It's flat, too, Daddy.
- I know that, you pig bladder!
860
01:02:58,364 --> 01:03:03,781
Well, let's see if we can find
a nice citizen with a couple of tyres.
861
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:13,000
What does that look like down there
on top of that car?
862
01:03:13,086 --> 01:03:15,375
DUSTY: Looks like a fish to me.
863
01:03:15,506 --> 01:03:18,883
Told you The Bandit always gets his fish.
864
01:03:19,927 --> 01:03:22,548
[Pleasant country song resumes]
865
01:03:23,180 --> 01:03:26,715
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
866
01:03:28,144 --> 01:03:31,727
Where are you, Justice
when we need you the most
867
01:03:34,650 --> 01:03:36,159
Listen.
868
01:03:37,319 --> 01:03:39,776
I'm going to get the fish
while Buford's gone.
869
01:03:39,865 --> 01:03:43,695
Now, be ready to get out of here real quick.
I'll be right back.
870
01:03:47,496 --> 01:03:49,953
[Cledus laughing]
871
01:03:50,625 --> 01:03:53,459
- What did I tell you?
- You got him.
872
01:03:53,544 --> 01:03:55,537
Well, when The Bandit goes fishing...
873
01:03:55,629 --> 01:03:57,251
The Bandit goes fishing.
874
01:03:57,341 --> 01:03:58,714
Put this down in there.
875
01:04:02,095 --> 01:04:04,873
Daddy, our fish is gone!
876
01:04:08,060 --> 01:04:11,678
Well, I guess that yanks my chain.
877
01:04:11,855 --> 01:04:14,409
Junior, it's hopeless.
878
01:04:14,441 --> 01:04:15,769
What do you mean, Daddy?
879
01:04:15,859 --> 01:04:20,380
I can't believe that it
all ends like this...
880
01:04:20,572 --> 01:04:23,312
that this is my last hot pursuit...
881
01:04:23,349 --> 01:04:29,298
all on account of a couple of lousy flat
tyres and a fish that flew the coop.
882
01:04:29,706 --> 01:04:32,079
Is he gonna be shocked. Listen.
883
01:04:32,168 --> 01:04:35,461
I'm saying that it's time
to pee on the fire...
884
01:04:35,565 --> 01:04:39,152
call in the dogs, turn off my siren...
885
01:04:39,342 --> 01:04:41,334
switch off my lights...
886
01:04:41,802 --> 01:04:45,493
and return to my old rocking chair.
887
01:04:45,529 --> 01:04:48,178
Daddy, you mean I won't be...
888
01:04:48,267 --> 01:04:51,304
your little tick turd anymore?
889
01:04:51,562 --> 01:04:53,353
[Junior sniffling]
890
01:04:54,856 --> 01:04:58,964
Son, you'll always be my tick turd.
891
01:05:00,697 --> 01:05:03,103
CLEDUS: Do you believe that?
892
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:08,335
I love you, Daddy...
893
01:05:08,579 --> 01:05:11,746
even if you can't catch
the bad guys anymore...
894
01:05:12,125 --> 01:05:16,383
even if you're a total failure
and the laughingstock of Texas...
895
01:05:16,419 --> 01:05:20,626
even if Little Enos is gonna get your badge.
I don't care. I still-
896
01:05:20,717 --> 01:05:23,484
Shut up, you barrel of monkey nuts!
897
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:28,421
Nobody gets the badge of
Sheriff Buford T. Justice!
898
01:05:29,268 --> 01:05:30,892
[Cheerful country instrumental music]
899
01:05:30,978 --> 01:05:34,581
- Hi, babycakes!
- The return of Frankenstein.
900
01:05:34,618 --> 01:05:36,929
JUNIOR: Daddy, it's The Bandit!
901
01:05:41,989 --> 01:05:43,399
BUFORD: Get in the car, Junior.
902
01:05:43,490 --> 01:05:46,942
I don't need any tyres
to catch that box of manure!
903
01:05:47,035 --> 01:05:49,703
But, Bu, what about me?
904
01:05:49,913 --> 01:05:54,233
I'm interested in pursuit, not party time.
905
01:05:59,340 --> 01:06:02,293
[Fast-paced country instrumental music]
906
01:06:12,520 --> 01:06:17,100
HOOKER: Bu Baby!
BUFORD: I told you, you flying flamingo...
907
01:06:17,191 --> 01:06:19,314
my name is not Bu Baby!
908
01:06:19,401 --> 01:06:22,023
- It's Buford T-
- Shut up!
909
01:06:22,113 --> 01:06:25,149
BUFORD: I got a felon in front of me,
a fool in the family...
910
01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:28,583
and a giant nymphomaniac on the roof.
911
01:06:29,120 --> 01:06:32,835
The burden of it all is dragging my ass.
912
01:06:32,874 --> 01:06:37,861
I love it when you talk dirty, darling!
Oh, baby!
913
01:06:41,383 --> 01:06:43,790
COWBOY: Move it, little dogies.
914
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:52,720
JUNIOR: Daddy, look at all the cattle.
What if we hit one?
915
01:06:52,811 --> 01:06:56,191
He gets to be a Big Mac
ahead of all the others.
916
01:06:56,502 --> 01:06:59,103
JUNIOR: Are those real cowboys, Daddy?
917
01:07:00,944 --> 01:07:03,581
JUNIOR: Look out for the baby cow, Daddy.
918
01:07:04,323 --> 01:07:06,362
[Slow country instrumental music]
919
01:07:11,998 --> 01:07:16,615
BIG ENOS: We gave them a bum steer.
LITTLE ENOS: There's only two hours left.
920
01:07:16,652 --> 01:07:18,831
BIG ENOS: Come on,
we got to get to the ranch.
921
01:07:18,962 --> 01:07:21,335
DUSTY: Boy, we're lost now.
CLEDUS: We're not lost!
922
01:07:21,757 --> 01:07:23,916
Well, where are we going?
923
01:07:25,135 --> 01:07:28,636
- Down this road.
- Oh. Okay.
924
01:07:36,897 --> 01:07:39,104
[Upbeat country instrumental music]
925
01:07:44,614 --> 01:07:47,498
Cledus, looks like "down this road"
was a dead end.
926
01:07:47,534 --> 01:07:51,482
Not if you can drive a boat, it ain't.
Watch this.
927
01:08:05,344 --> 01:08:07,382
You stay here and watch the evidence.
928
01:08:07,470 --> 01:08:11,650
When I grab his ass,
it's gonna be the gravy on my grits.
929
01:08:12,726 --> 01:08:14,683
JUNIOR: Oops! I'm sorry, ma'am.
930
01:08:14,770 --> 01:08:16,602
BUFORD: Out of my way!
931
01:08:17,021 --> 01:08:19,347
BUFORD: Out of my way!
MAN: Hey!
932
01:08:22,069 --> 01:08:26,163
That's what you get for obstructing justice.
933
01:08:27,199 --> 01:08:31,953
- Follow that sumbitch!
- Yes, sir. You're the boss.
934
01:08:33,038 --> 01:08:35,791
BUFORD: My groin!
935
01:08:35,917 --> 01:08:38,512
You're grinding my groin!
936
01:08:39,169 --> 01:08:40,544
Bu Baby!
937
01:08:40,712 --> 01:08:42,835
[Heroic instrumental music]
938
01:08:44,133 --> 01:08:46,007
[Adventurous country instrumental music]
939
01:08:46,094 --> 01:08:47,801
HOOKER: My baby! Bu!
940
01:08:49,221 --> 01:08:50,466
HOOKER: Bu!
941
01:08:54,269 --> 01:08:55,914
Come on, Buford!
942
01:08:55,951 --> 01:08:57,517
Turn right!
943
01:09:01,109 --> 01:09:03,303
I got him now!
944
01:09:05,029 --> 01:09:08,231
[Adventurous country instrumental music
continues]
945
01:09:10,910 --> 01:09:13,368
Look out! He's a maniac!
946
01:09:18,334 --> 01:09:20,208
Bring it on, brother!
947
01:09:20,545 --> 01:09:23,923
Are you sure you know
what the hell you're doing?
948
01:09:23,965 --> 01:09:27,548
BUFORD: Shit!
MAN: Sorry about that.
949
01:09:30,346 --> 01:09:31,840
Hi!
950
01:09:33,141 --> 01:09:36,012
- Oh, hi.
- We're having a picnic over there...
951
01:09:36,270 --> 01:09:41,530
- and if you'd like, feel free to join us.
- I'd sure like to. But I can't.
952
01:09:41,691 --> 01:09:45,440
Oh, well, if you change your mind,
just come on over.
953
01:09:45,529 --> 01:09:49,417
See, my daddy said I had to stay
right here and keep an eye on...
954
01:09:50,033 --> 01:09:51,362
things.
955
01:09:52,870 --> 01:09:55,443
[Adventurous country instrumental music
continues]
956
01:10:04,048 --> 01:10:08,089
Holy shit!
957
01:10:26,112 --> 01:10:29,317
Oh, mama, we gone!
958
01:10:29,615 --> 01:10:32,828
- Nice going, Cledus.
- I'm telling you. Here he comes!
959
01:10:37,291 --> 01:10:39,934
- Follow him!
- This boat won't do that.
960
01:10:39,970 --> 01:10:44,350
Don't argue with the law!
Follow that sumbitch!
961
01:10:44,547 --> 01:10:46,540
Okay, you asked for it.
962
01:10:51,138 --> 01:10:53,510
[Buford screaming]
963
01:10:59,521 --> 01:11:03,719
BUFORD: What is the world coming to?
WOMAN: Here, let me help you.
964
01:11:05,986 --> 01:11:08,158
WOMAN: Are you all right?
965
01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:13,718
What's wrong, Sheriff?
966
01:11:13,785 --> 01:11:17,299
I ain't seen anything like that
since I was a little baby.
967
01:11:17,336 --> 01:11:20,372
You wanna stay, Sheriff,
you'll have to take your clothes off.
968
01:11:20,458 --> 01:11:24,564
I don't even take my clothes off
in front of my good wife Wilhelmina.
969
01:11:24,601 --> 01:11:25,916
[Nudists exclaiming]
970
01:11:29,050 --> 01:11:30,997
Give me the good old days...
971
01:11:31,020 --> 01:11:35,637
when a pair of boobs
were a couple of dumb guys.
972
01:11:39,770 --> 01:11:43,853
WOMAN: Junior.
JUNIOR: Oh, hi. This is a great picnic.
973
01:11:43,889 --> 01:11:47,152
Yeah, but there goes
your daddy, and he's mad.
974
01:11:48,529 --> 01:11:50,189
I gotta go.
975
01:11:51,449 --> 01:11:53,240
JUNIOR: My clothes. Thanks.
976
01:11:53,326 --> 01:11:57,073
PILOT: [On radio] CoI. Enos,
they're approaching in a westerly direction.
977
01:11:59,707 --> 01:12:02,926
They're coming through.
I told you they'd take the short cut.
978
01:12:02,962 --> 01:12:06,955
Daddy, when you plot skulduggery,
you plot skulduggery.
979
01:12:06,991 --> 01:12:11,145
Well, my IQ is a little bigger
than my hat size, Son.
980
01:12:14,096 --> 01:12:16,090
JUNIOR: Daddy, there's The Bandit!
981
01:12:16,976 --> 01:12:20,640
Now we're gonna close in on that hog butt!
982
01:12:20,729 --> 01:12:23,219
Col. Enos calling Private Enos.
983
01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:26,329
BIG ENOS: Do you read me?
GIRL: Yeah, Grandpa. I can hear you.
984
01:12:26,401 --> 01:12:30,185
- All right, are you ready?
- Yes, sir, Col. Grandpa, sir!
985
01:12:31,781 --> 01:12:34,707
BIG ENOS: Okay, now get set.
986
01:12:34,910 --> 01:12:38,129
BUFORD: Hold it.
987
01:12:38,956 --> 01:12:41,784
BIG ENOS: Okay, girI, let her rip!
988
01:12:42,209 --> 01:12:44,249
[Explosions]
989
01:12:46,630 --> 01:12:51,049
- Daddy, what's all that noise?
- The car's backfiring!
990
01:12:51,051 --> 01:12:54,218
DUSTY: Somebody's shooting off
bombs back there.
991
01:12:57,099 --> 01:12:59,541
- It's them Enos boys.
- Who are they?
992
01:12:59,578 --> 01:13:03,103
They are the inventors of dirty pool.
993
01:13:03,105 --> 01:13:06,107
[Heroic instrumental music]
994
01:13:10,529 --> 01:13:13,169
BIG ENOS: Get set. Now!
995
01:13:16,536 --> 01:13:18,445
[Big Enos laughing heartily]
996
01:13:30,132 --> 01:13:32,378
Daddy.
997
01:13:33,011 --> 01:13:35,989
Thunderbutt got through.
998
01:13:36,014 --> 01:13:41,297
- What happened, Daddy?
- I guess we blew another goddamn tyre!
999
01:13:41,561 --> 01:13:43,601
LITTLE ENOS: Bring us down, girls.
1000
01:13:43,813 --> 01:13:46,367
How could that be?
1001
01:13:47,233 --> 01:13:49,856
[Comical instrumental music]
1002
01:13:51,112 --> 01:13:53,005
BIG ENOS: Man, oh, man!
1003
01:13:53,114 --> 01:13:56,756
LITTLE ENOS: Holy Buddha,
those suckers are flying!
1004
01:13:57,245 --> 01:13:59,645
Yeah, Daddy, I'm not bored anymore.
1005
01:13:59,681 --> 01:14:02,900
This is more fun than being
snowed in at a cathouse, you know.
1006
01:14:02,937 --> 01:14:07,211
Let's get back to the ranch, Son.
I don't wanna miss how this thing turns out.
1007
01:14:08,339 --> 01:14:09,833
[Fast-paced instrumental music]
1008
01:14:09,923 --> 01:14:13,995
Cledus, you're not gonna hit that gate?
1009
01:14:14,031 --> 01:14:16,128
CLEDUS: That gate is gone.
1010
01:14:19,726 --> 01:14:22,181
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues]
1011
01:14:30,820 --> 01:14:34,070
- Oh!
- Oh, my aching head.
1012
01:14:36,826 --> 01:14:39,282
Will you get in the car, Junior?
1013
01:14:39,371 --> 01:14:43,675
This is no time
for any of your funny high jinks.
1014
01:14:43,791 --> 01:14:48,899
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I must've forgotten the seat belt.
1015
01:14:50,882 --> 01:14:53,040
[Upbeat country song]
1016
01:15:03,519 --> 01:15:07,138
Is it my imagination,
or are you slowing down?
1017
01:15:07,440 --> 01:15:08,883
Maybe.
1018
01:15:09,359 --> 01:15:11,398
CLEDUS: Let me put it to you this way:
1019
01:15:11,486 --> 01:15:14,440
What good would
the Road Runner be without the Coyote?
1020
01:15:14,531 --> 01:15:17,734
What good would
the fox be without the hound, right?
1021
01:15:18,243 --> 01:15:21,602
And can you have a bandit
if you ain't got a smokey?
1022
01:15:21,638 --> 01:15:24,704
- Not really.
- Well, now you do.
1023
01:15:24,741 --> 01:15:26,335
I'm slowing down.
1024
01:15:31,923 --> 01:15:34,561
All right, I got it bumper-to-bumper.
1025
01:15:34,597 --> 01:15:38,549
- Hop up there, Junior, and get the fish.
- But, Daddy I'm carrying-
1026
01:15:38,639 --> 01:15:40,864
Hop up there and get the fish.
1027
01:15:40,900 --> 01:15:44,709
- But, Daddy-
- Get the fish or I'll barbecue your ass!
1028
01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:51,233
[Upbeat country song continues]
1029
01:15:57,116 --> 01:15:59,238
That's right, Junior.
1030
01:16:00,370 --> 01:16:02,408
Just help yourself, son.
1031
01:16:02,496 --> 01:16:05,272
BUFORD: Come on, Junior! Come on back!
1032
01:16:08,294 --> 01:16:13,416
Junior, you are a brave little tick turd.
1033
01:16:13,453 --> 01:16:15,172
Oh, thank you, Daddy!
1034
01:16:18,388 --> 01:16:20,132
Way to go, Buford!
1035
01:16:36,114 --> 01:16:39,139
DUSTY: Why are you stopping?
We better get out of here.
1036
01:16:39,493 --> 01:16:44,785
This show right here
is only costing me $250,000.
1037
01:16:44,821 --> 01:16:47,466
Do you mind if I just watch it?
1038
01:16:50,087 --> 01:16:53,123
Well. There's your fish.
1039
01:16:53,214 --> 01:16:55,967
Sheriff, this is hard for me to say...
1040
01:16:56,051 --> 01:16:58,838
but you won it fair and square.
Congratulations.
1041
01:16:59,054 --> 01:17:01,546
Give him the money, son.
1042
01:17:02,518 --> 01:17:04,674
I'd like to kick your ass.
1043
01:17:04,852 --> 01:17:08,139
You can't kick that high, cricket crotch.
1044
01:17:09,231 --> 01:17:11,225
I accept this prize...
1045
01:17:11,651 --> 01:17:17,110
as a token of another one
of my landmark achievements.
1046
01:17:17,146 --> 01:17:20,199
Hold the money, Junior.
And don't let Mama see it...
1047
01:17:20,327 --> 01:17:24,163
if you don't wanna sing soprano
for the rest of your life.
1048
01:17:24,330 --> 01:17:25,789
Now...
1049
01:17:28,960 --> 01:17:31,286
Just that long.
1050
01:17:34,757 --> 01:17:38,458
- Oh! He's coming over here.
- I know. I told you.
1051
01:17:38,553 --> 01:17:41,305
- Will you hurry up? Will you please hurry.
- It won't crank!
1052
01:17:41,390 --> 01:17:43,631
- What do you mean?
- The car won't crank.
1053
01:17:43,724 --> 01:17:47,059
BIG ENOS: Come on, let's get this
party started. Let's have a drink!
1054
01:17:47,145 --> 01:17:50,081
We can all exchange clothes.
1055
01:17:52,108 --> 01:17:54,600
Would you get away from me, you shit!
1056
01:17:54,778 --> 01:17:57,546
I'm making this collar single only.
1057
01:17:57,864 --> 01:18:00,237
DUSTY: You're The Bandit.
Tell me what we are going to do.
1058
01:18:00,325 --> 01:18:02,947
CLEDUS: I am not The Bandit.
The Bandit is The Bandit.
1059
01:18:03,037 --> 01:18:06,120
The only man in the world that thinks I'm-
1060
01:18:06,540 --> 01:18:08,165
Wait a minute.
1061
01:18:08,291 --> 01:18:12,846
Sit back. And don't move a muscle!
1062
01:18:12,922 --> 01:18:14,629
[Suspenseful instrumental music]
1063
01:18:22,390 --> 01:18:24,113
I got you.
1064
01:18:29,855 --> 01:18:34,897
Hello, Buford.
Well, you caught me with my pants down.
1065
01:18:34,902 --> 01:18:38,312
- I did?
- That's a figure of speech.
1066
01:18:38,406 --> 01:18:41,408
- I got you!
- Yeah.
1067
01:18:41,451 --> 01:18:43,574
It's over for the old Bandit.
1068
01:18:43,662 --> 01:18:46,063
BUFORD: Yeah, you're gone.
BANDIT: It's gone.
1069
01:18:46,664 --> 01:18:48,372
BANDIT: Buford?
BUFORD: Yes, sir.
1070
01:18:50,146 --> 01:18:53,125
I just wanna say one last
thing to you before you...
1071
01:18:53,213 --> 01:18:54,542
haul me off in the cuffs.
1072
01:18:54,630 --> 01:18:57,335
- Go right ahead.
- There's a kind of a...
1073
01:18:57,425 --> 01:19:00,412
a kindred spirit we have,
you know what I mean?
1074
01:19:00,448 --> 01:19:02,774
Yeah. I think I feel the same way.
1075
01:19:02,811 --> 01:19:06,155
No, I mean it's special.
I can almost read your thoughts.
1076
01:19:06,192 --> 01:19:07,559
BUFORD: Is that so?
BANDIT: Yeah.
1077
01:19:07,644 --> 01:19:10,846
What am I thinking right now?
1078
01:19:10,939 --> 01:19:13,630
You're thinking right now
that possibly you...
1079
01:19:13,667 --> 01:19:16,686
No sense sending me off
to prison where I'd lose all my friends...
1080
01:19:16,777 --> 01:19:17,858
and everything. I mean...
1081
01:19:17,946 --> 01:19:21,170
you could give me a five-second head start
and chase after me-
1082
01:19:21,262 --> 01:19:23,731
Oh, no, I'm sorry. I'm a law-and-order man.
1083
01:19:23,828 --> 01:19:26,497
I got you and I'm gonna keep you.
1084
01:19:26,533 --> 01:19:29,079
Yeah, you're right.
I was silly to even think that.
1085
01:19:29,116 --> 01:19:31,158
BANDIT: You're too tough for that.
BUFORD: That's right.
1086
01:19:31,251 --> 01:19:34,903
BUFORD: I'm upright, straightforward-
JUNIOR: [Voiceover] Now that you've...
1087
01:19:34,981 --> 01:19:38,537
finally caught The Bandit,
you can really retire.
1088
01:19:38,573 --> 01:19:42,922
We can go back to sunny Florida
and you can collect your seashells...
1089
01:19:43,056 --> 01:19:44,764
and you can play shuffleboard.
1090
01:19:44,849 --> 01:19:49,407
And we can even go back
and see that big funny whale jump again.
1091
01:19:49,443 --> 01:19:54,802
But most and best of all, Daddy,
I'll take you fishing with me.
1092
01:19:56,234 --> 01:19:59,930
- I'll give you a five-minute head start.
- Bye-bye!
1093
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:01,734
[Tyres screeching]
1094
01:20:03,159 --> 01:20:07,437
Junior!
1095
01:20:12,919 --> 01:20:15,031
BUFORD: What the hell
are you doing?
1096
01:20:15,067 --> 01:20:19,232
I was trying to stop
The Bandit from getting away, Daddy.
1097
01:20:20,177 --> 01:20:24,297
I said it before, and I'll say it again:
1098
01:20:24,347 --> 01:20:29,042
There is no way that you
could come from my loins.
1099
01:20:29,185 --> 01:20:34,264
And as soon as we get home,
I'm putting a big lump on your mama's head.
1100
01:20:34,441 --> 01:20:38,109
Now get in the car. We're on pursuit alert.
1101
01:20:41,489 --> 01:20:44,657
Well, Cledus, I'll tell you,
I gotta hand it to you. You did it.
1102
01:20:44,744 --> 01:20:46,277
- I did it, didn't I?
- You did it!
1103
01:20:46,369 --> 01:20:49,330
I did it! Don't know what
I did, but I did it.
1104
01:20:49,497 --> 01:20:53,309
DUSTY: Hey, do you mind if I tag along?
CLEDUS: What?
1105
01:20:55,129 --> 01:20:57,749
[Comical country instrumental music]
1106
01:21:00,843 --> 01:21:02,717
Where did they go?
1107
01:21:02,803 --> 01:21:04,677
Pumpkin!
1108
01:21:05,348 --> 01:21:08,425
Now, I know you didn't
mean to leave me this time.
1109
01:21:08,461 --> 01:21:10,889
Madame Godzilla is back.
1110
01:21:10,978 --> 01:21:12,306
[Car approaching]
1111
01:21:12,855 --> 01:21:15,642
BUFORD: Get the hell out of there!
HOOKER: I wanna come, too!
1112
01:21:15,733 --> 01:21:18,569
- There ain't no room!
- Oh, yes, there is!
1113
01:21:24,368 --> 01:21:26,701
Wait, Daddy!
1114
01:21:29,226 --> 01:21:31,872
JUNIOR: Don't leave me!
1115
01:21:32,125 --> 01:21:35,308
JUNIOR: Wait, Daddy.
1116
01:21:35,879 --> 01:21:37,705
JUNIOR: Wait for me.
1117
01:21:37,797 --> 01:21:39,706
JUNIOR: Don't leave me, Daddy!
1118
01:21:40,572 --> 01:21:46,798
[Fast-paced country song]
1119
01:21:46,835 --> 01:21:48,465
The outlaw run
1120
01:21:50,227 --> 01:21:51,935
Is an endless one
1121
01:21:53,980 --> 01:21:55,772
It's a hungry night
1122
01:21:57,775 --> 01:21:59,899
Where wrong is right
1123
01:22:01,530 --> 01:22:03,902
And the race is done
1124
01:22:05,117 --> 01:22:07,241
When the race is won
1125
01:22:08,912 --> 01:22:10,905
In the morning sun
1126
01:22:11,707 --> 01:22:14,245
Just look into the light
1127
01:22:16,128 --> 01:22:18,286
And I'm behind you now
1128
01:22:19,214 --> 01:22:21,586
With a ticket for the wind
1129
01:22:23,678 --> 01:22:25,801
I'm behind you now
1130
01:22:26,764 --> 01:22:29,005
Baby, you can never win
1131
01:22:31,184 --> 01:22:33,344
I'm behind you now
1132
01:22:34,313 --> 01:22:36,887
And your days are getting thin
1133
01:22:39,025 --> 01:22:41,149
I'm behind you now
1134
01:22:41,863 --> 01:22:44,235
With a ticket for the wind
1135
01:22:58,005 --> 01:22:59,997
And The Bandit's trying
1136
01:23:01,799 --> 01:23:03,922
There's a borderline
1137
01:23:05,595 --> 01:23:07,470
That's already crossed
1138
01:23:09,307 --> 01:23:11,430
When the game is lost
1139
01:23:12,936 --> 01:23:15,262
And the hunter's luck
1140
01:23:16,648 --> 01:23:18,308
Is a single shot
1141
01:23:20,443 --> 01:23:22,353
When the sun is hot
1142
01:23:23,239 --> 01:23:25,611
And the dice are tossed
1143
01:23:27,743 --> 01:23:29,651
I'm behind you now
1144
01:23:30,954 --> 01:23:33,078
With a ticket for the wind
1145
01:23:35,209 --> 01:23:37,201
I'm behind you now
1146
01:23:38,337 --> 01:23:40,377
And you can never win
1147
01:23:42,508 --> 01:23:44,417
I'm behind you now
1148
01:23:45,844 --> 01:23:48,336
And your days are getting thin
1149
01:23:50,558 --> 01:23:52,467
I'm behind you now
1150
01:23:53,394 --> 01:23:55,600
With a ticket for the wind
1151
01:24:24,176 --> 01:24:26,168
I'm behind you now
1152
01:24:27,346 --> 01:24:29,716
With a ticket for the wind
1153
01:24:30,557 --> 01:24:32,846
Yeah, I'm behind you now
1154
01:24:34,352 --> 01:24:36,725
Oh, and you can never win
1155
01:24:37,305 --> 01:24:43,253
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