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1
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:08,273
Well, last dayon the job, boys.
2
00:00:08,274 --> 00:00:11,343
So tomorrow when
we come in to have our
free coffee and doughnuts,
3
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,146
It won't
technically be legal.
4
00:00:14,147 --> 00:00:16,048
Hey, Dan, I just
wanted to thank you
5
00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:19,251
For taking me with you
and bob on this new drywall
job that you got.
6
00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,021
Well, Mark,
we looked at a lot
of applicants.
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,857
We found out you were
the only one married
to my daughter.
8
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:30,329
So I guess i'd better pack up
all my personal stuff
9
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,364
And take it home.
10
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:35,701
( exhales )
there.
11
00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:40,105
You'll miss
this place, Dan?
12
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:42,975
I don't know, bob.
I'll have my memories.
13
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,244
( chuckles )
like this--
14
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,580
I bet i've stapled
1000 office memos
with this thing.
15
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,921
And how many times
have you guys come in here
16
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,791
And caught me using
this crazy tape dispenser?
17
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,428
( chuckles )
i've never seen
you use that.
18
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:08,367
Pens, pencils,
paperclips--
19
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:11,537
Memories,
memories, memories.
20
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,406
Well, I guess
that about does it.
21
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,342
I'm gonna call Rosie
and tell her i'm on
my way home.
22
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,280
- ( sighs )
- tell you one thing, Mark,
23
00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:24,750
The city of Lanford
is losing a great asset
right there.
24
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,252
I'm sure they can get
another stapler, bob.
25
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,757
Hey, honey.
26
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:33,859
Yeah, we're
just about done here.
27
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,762
No, I just wanted my last
call from the office
to be to you.
28
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,731
I love you.
29
00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,001
Okay, bye-bye.
30
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:50,642
I guess that
about does it.
31
00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,145
This is Dan conner...
32
00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,347
Punching out.
33
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,360
I can't believe
we forgot this.
34
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:13,198
( theme music playing )
35
00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:57,943
( Roseanne laughs )
36
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:06,952
Hey, Rosie.
Come here, I wanna
show you something.
37
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,821
Okay okay,
but this better
be good,
38
00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,556
Because they're showing
that "full house"
39
00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:12,891
Where they think one
of those little twins
is dying.
40
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,831
Looky here.
It's our massive
accumulation of bills.
41
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,600
- i'll get
the lighter fluid.
- no no no no.
42
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:25,270
See, i've sorted them
by when they were received--
43
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,272
Clinton, bush,
44
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,308
Reagan.
45
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,946
See here where it says,
"amount enclosed"?
46
00:03:33,947 --> 00:03:37,182
I thought it might be fun
to put a number in there.
47
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,084
- why?
- because we can.
48
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,586
Look at this.
49
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:43,422
Not only did they give me
last week's pay,
50
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:46,225
But I got my unused
vacation time
51
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,127
And drew the money
out of my pension fund.
52
00:03:48,128 --> 00:03:51,430
If I had known all you had
to do to clean up like this
was quit your job,
53
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:53,565
I'd have done
it long ago.
54
00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:57,403
I've never even seen
a check for that amount
of money before.
55
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,672
What does that comma mean?
56
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:05,277
You know,
if we pay everything off,
57
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,913
We'll finally
be debt free.
58
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,581
So we gotta
be smart here.
59
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,717
I say we pay
half the bills
and split the rest
60
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,519
Between an aggressive
money market
61
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,654
And a conservative
mutual fund.
62
00:04:15,655 --> 00:04:18,190
( both laughing )
63
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,799
I was practicing that
all the way home.
64
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,904
Yeah, but you know,
I think you're right.
65
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:35,607
If we're going to invest it,
we shouldn't put it all
in one place.
66
00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:38,811
I say we put half of it
into the mattress
67
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:41,680
And the other half
in tomato cans
68
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,949
Buried under the bush
in the backyard.
69
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,885
Well, wherever we put it,
it's gotta be safe
and secure.
70
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:49,822
We really do have
to make a mature decision
about this.
71
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:53,325
Yeah.
I wanna go to paris!
72
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:57,262
I hear that the french people
are really rude and they
hate americans,
73
00:04:57,263 --> 00:04:59,932
So I will, like,
totally fit right
in there.
74
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:03,068
Roseanne.
75
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,104
Yeah, I know.
That's stupid.
76
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:08,374
But what about England,
or, you know, Italy,
77
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:10,542
Or china,
or even canada?
78
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:13,679
But not canada,
because we can already
buy their bacon here.
79
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,714
I know!
80
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,950
I've got it.
I've got it.
81
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,485
There's someplace
we could go
82
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,855
To see all of these
places at once.
83
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:25,991
International house
of pancakes.
84
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,527
No, but i'll give you
two hints.
85
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,696
Florida,
86
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:34,233
And the happiest
place on earth.
87
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,906
We're going
to gator world.
88
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:43,042
No, you idiot.
89
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,843
Disney world.
90
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:48,380
It's perfect,
because they have that
epcot center thing, okay?
91
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:50,616
So, like, say you're
in Italy and you get
really bored.
92
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,185
You just walk over
to china, okay?
93
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,754
I know for real
that in the real world
94
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,756
That would
actually take days.
95
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:01,527
We can't blow
my hard-earned cash
on a vacation.
96
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,063
I hear they
have something
97
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,231
Called a beer garden.
98
00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:08,467
Hot dog!
99
00:06:13,006 --> 00:06:15,407
It'll be so great.
We'll take the whole family.
100
00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,177
Oh...
101
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,546
Them.
102
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,348
No, think about it, Dan.
103
00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:25,551
Becky's applying for college
and darlene's gonna be
graduating soon.
104
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:29,088
This is probably the last
chance we will ever get
for a family vacation.
105
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,490
Well, we could sleep
on it I guess and--
106
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:34,460
Hey, everybody!
Cancel next week!
107
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:38,364
We're goingto disney world!
108
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,532
We can discuss it
in the morning.
109
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,067
Maybe...
110
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,708
Can we just do this
meeting without Becky?
111
00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:52,344
In fact, while we're at it,
can we do everything
without Becky?
112
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,481
No, she's part
of this family.
113
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,349
We're not having
a family meeting
without her.
114
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,251
Besides, I just called her.
She'll be here any minute.
115
00:07:02,455 --> 00:07:05,357
Did I hear right?
We're going on vacation?
116
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,192
Announcer:
ladies and gentlemen,the role of Becky,
117
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:08,794
Originally playedby lecy goranson,
118
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,662
Then by sarah chalke,then by lecy goranson,
119
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:13,432
Will be played this eveningby sarah chalke.
120
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,933
The takingof flash photographs
121
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,870
Or use of recording devicesis strictly prohibited.
122
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,808
Disney world?
I've always wanted
to go there.
123
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,244
Aren't you glad
that you're here
this week?
124
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,787
Wait, isn't
that the place
125
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,823
Where happy families
go to have fun?
126
00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:40,426
We're not letting
that stop us.
127
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,727
Can Mark go?
128
00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,596
Damn.
129
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,232
He is family.
130
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,234
Sure.
131
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,469
What about aunt Jackie?
132
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,271
Of course.
She's family.
133
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:55,140
I'll be in the basement,
I guess.
134
00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,415
Oh, David,
get a grip.
135
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,883
Of course you're family.
136
00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:07,519
Oh, I love mickey mouse!
I love mickey mouse!
137
00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,854
I love mickey mouse!
138
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:11,390
You will stop that now!
139
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:16,862
Your job is to contact
a travel agent
140
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,997
And make sure you get us
a really good package deal.
141
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:23,435
Okay, we've got
a lot of prep work
142
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:25,471
That needs to be done
before we can make
this happen.
143
00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:27,206
For instance,
we need to pack
our clothes.
144
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,308
Darlene, go down
to the luggage store.
145
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:32,311
Look in the dumpster
in the back, bring
us the boxes.
146
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:35,214
Becky, your job:
get to the airport early,
147
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,982
Collect a lot
of those carts
148
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,218
And turn the quarters
over to me.
149
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,820
What about the baby?
150
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:44,957
Oh yeah, well somebody
does need to take care
of the baby.
151
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,760
Now that person will not
be able to go on any
of the rides
152
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,528
And will have to sit
there every single day
153
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,164
Listening to the rest
of us talk about how much
fun we're having.
154
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,133
So that's gonna
be pure torture.
155
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,201
We'll get mom.
156
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,639
- what's my job?
- cancel the paper.
157
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,142
You mean cancel
the neighbor's paper.
158
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:06,345
Well, that would be
the paper, Dan.
159
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:08,914
Okay, while i'm at it,
i'll also shut down
160
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:11,617
- the gas,
the electricity, the water.
- we're not moving.
161
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,687
Sorry, i've never done
this before.
162
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:18,557
Okay, well,
we're all set.
163
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,459
Mom.
164
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,895
Oh yeah.
165
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,797
Start practicing
your limp,
166
00:09:24,798 --> 00:09:28,367
Because we're gonna
wanna park close
to the terminal.
167
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:32,171
No, school.
I don't think my teacher's
gonna let me go.
168
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,940
We're supposed to make
a model out of something
from ancient greece
169
00:09:34,941 --> 00:09:36,542
By next week.
170
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,878
I don't think
I could live with myself
if I just blew it off.
171
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:47,920
Well, you are not
going to spoil our
family vacation, okay?
172
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,888
You are a conner.
173
00:09:49,889 --> 00:09:52,958
You are skipping school,
blowing off that project.
174
00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,194
Now you sit down here.
175
00:09:59,899 --> 00:10:01,867
Turn on that television,
watch it,
176
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:04,036
And think about
what you just said.
177
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,479
Okay, Mrs. Conner,
I found us a great fare
to orlando,
178
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,748
But they only
have six seats
and we need eight.
179
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:23,322
So should we go ahead
and order pet carriers
180
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,057
For d.J. And Mark?
181
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,960
Children children
children,
182
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,628
Pay very close
attention here.
183
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,798
I'm about to pass on
an old family secret.
184
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,633
( clears throat )
185
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:42,841
Hello, yes,
i'm going to need
to cancel my reservations
186
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:45,978
For the 4:15 flight
on Sunday to orlando.
187
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,150
My name is smith.
188
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,686
Oh, damn.
189
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,361
( clears throat )
190
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:06,098
Yes, hello,
this is Mrs. Miller.
191
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:09,968
And i'm going to need
to cancel my reservations
192
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:13,339
For the 4:15 flight
on Sunday to orlando.
193
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:16,842
It's not?
194
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:20,679
Well, perhaps it's booked
under my maiden name.
195
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,615
( mumbles )
196
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,384
Yes, that's right.
Habib.
197
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,152
Yes, that is it.
198
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,191
Cool, thank you
very much.
199
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,094
Oh no, I won't need
to reschedule at all.
200
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,995
Praise allah.
201
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,369
Call them back.
I think they got
an opening now.
202
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:46,939
Yet another federal offense
i've witnessed in this house.
203
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:50,142
Man, everything
is totally coming
together, and why?
204
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,846
Because I am
the puppet master.
205
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,182
Roseanne,
don't kill me.
206
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,351
Everyone wants
something from me.
207
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,620
Big trouble.
I've been going over
the diner schedule.
208
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:02,988
There's no way
we can get out
of our shifts.
209
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:04,656
Leon can't work
extra hours
210
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,659
And nancy's taking off
to go to the erotic
cartoon festival.
211
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,029
I tried calling
former employees,
212
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:13,532
Temporary agencies--
there's nothing
we can do.
213
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,235
Damn it.
Wait a minute.
214
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,937
I'm surprised I didn't
think of this earlier.
215
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:22,708
( blows )
216
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,377
( swooshes )
217
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,813
- there.
- what'd you do?
218
00:12:27,814 --> 00:12:30,816
I just made our problem
into leon's problem.
219
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:32,384
So I hope he handles
it better than we did.
220
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:35,854
So how is the reservations
there, David?
221
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:38,424
We are all booked
to orlando, Mrs. Conner.
222
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,726
- or should
I say, "Mrs. Habib."
- ( both squealing )
223
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:43,295
Well, grab
your veils, gals.
224
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,898
We are going
to disney world!
225
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,467
( all cheering )
226
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,850
Look, I told you.
227
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:07,453
The pilot said
he's flying as fast
as he can.
228
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,658
No, it's not about that.
229
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:15,861
It's just my family
is spread out all over
the place.
230
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,896
You think you could
ask this nice lady
231
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:19,732
If she'd move?
232
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,835
No. And thank you for
making us your airline.
233
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,972
Well, where are we
going to go first?
234
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,907
Let me get the map.
235
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,709
Here, hold this.
236
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,779
Dan, could you take him
to see mom for a minute?
237
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:36,148
Yeah, sure.
Excuse me.
238
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:41,720
Whoa, he's gained weight
since this morning.
239
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,555
Pardon me.
Sorry.
240
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,259
Hey...
241
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:50,329
Did I miss a belt loop
back there?
242
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,131
- hey hey, Dan.
- yeah?
243
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,934
How come we're not
all weightless?
244
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,903
We are.
245
00:13:57,904 --> 00:14:01,073
I'm just wearing
special shoes.
246
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,776
There's my little jerry.
247
00:14:03,777 --> 00:14:05,678
Oh, what's wrong, honey?
248
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:07,680
- give me
the juice, Roseanne.
- ( jerry crying )
249
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:11,650
Yeah.
David, heads up.
250
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:15,087
Man, disney world is huge.
251
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,458
Jackie, the blue part
is the water
252
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,727
And the brown part
is the land.
253
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,063
Why don't we make
this home base?
254
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,631
Yeah, that's
a good idea.
255
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,966
Okay, everybody,
listen up now.
256
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:31,136
If we get separated
or you get lost
from the herd,
257
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:33,572
We'll all meet up
in fantasyland.
258
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,641
( chuckles )
wait wait.
259
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:39,078
What do you mean
"if we get separated"?
260
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:42,047
I mean this is
a family vacation, Darlene.
261
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,749
We have to all
stick together.
262
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,384
You're kidding, right?
263
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,087
I mean, i'm not
flying 1000 miles
with you people
264
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:51,557
Just to sample waffles
from around the world.
265
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,393
I don't believe her.
266
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:58,030
You will stick
with the herd,
young lady.
267
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,766
Come on, dad.
We have to split up.
268
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,234
So what are you
telling me?
269
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,103
That you all
feel like this?
270
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:06,839
Hey, I have felt
that way since I was four.
271
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,547
Can you believe my kids
not wanting to be with me?
272
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:18,884
That is shocking.
273
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:21,253
I'll be with you, honey.
274
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,088
Damn it, Dan.
275
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,392
I took care of every
single problem that would have
ruined our family vacation
276
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:30,095
Except one--
our family.
277
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,364
I gotta go check
on my baby.
278
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:36,201
Here, guard these pretzels
as if they were potato chips.
279
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,838
So, mom,
is he okay?
280
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,875
Yes, but I think
he misses his mommy.
281
00:15:42,876 --> 00:15:45,377
Excuse me,
if you slide into
that seat right there,
282
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,913
Then maybe
I can get by.
283
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:50,082
- ( crunches )
- ( gasps )
284
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,684
Oh man,
i'm sorry.
285
00:15:51,685 --> 00:15:54,453
I hope that was
a cheeto I stepped on.
286
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,288
Whatever it was,
287
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,758
It doesn't work
anymore anyway.
288
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:04,763
Come on, jer.
289
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,166
Come and take
a walk with mama.
290
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,435
There's mommy.
291
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,803
Aw.
292
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,108
I think it's
so wonderful
293
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:19,545
That men like you
have found a niche in
the airline industry.
294
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:26,085
Your brothers and sisters
are a bunch of ingrates.
295
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,154
Now I know how
the queen mother feels.
296
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,927
Wow.
297
00:16:34,928 --> 00:16:38,797
Hey, now this is living.
298
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,667
Look at the size
of these seats.
299
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,269
I knew I wasn't dreaming.
It's true.
300
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,505
Rich people are fat.
301
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,745
Oh, look at this.
It's got a footrest
302
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:55,414
And the best magazines.
303
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,916
Man, this is
like supercuts!
304
00:17:07,994 --> 00:17:11,130
Hey, have you seen
your mother?
305
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:12,698
No.
306
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,768
And hasn't this been
a wonderful flight?
307
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:18,871
She went that way
through those curtains.
308
00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:22,041
Through those curtains?
The first-class curtains?
309
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:25,911
No conner's ever
been through those
curtains before.
310
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,814
Yeah, well that's
where she went.
311
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,350
Well...
312
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,285
I'd better go after her.
313
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,923
How do I look?
314
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:47,199
Oh, boy.
Mom and dad
up in first class.
315
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,101
Guess they won't
be taking any pictures
316
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,670
For the brochures
on this flight, huh?
317
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,839
What's going on?
They're still up there.
318
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,874
Why hasn't that
flight attendant
kicked them out?
319
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,378
Well, it's probably
a little hard to do
when you're hog-tied.
320
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,414
They probably got
arrested and handcuffed
321
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,117
The minute they
went up there.
322
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:07,019
Mark, go check on them.
323
00:18:07,020 --> 00:18:09,355
Okay.
Whoa.
324
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:14,827
Yeah, good idea, Jackie.
325
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,929
Send a lifeless probe up
to make sure it's safe.
326
00:18:18,832 --> 00:18:22,101
God, I can't believe
you guys are trying to get
my husband in trouble.
327
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,535
Why wouldn't
you believe it?
328
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,971
I was the one that
put the plastic gun
in his carry-on.
329
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:34,713
Hmm, still nothing.
330
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,215
( chuckles )
bye.
331
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:41,387
Maybe there's
no front to this plane
332
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:44,289
And they're just--
333
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,193
They're just walking
off the edge.
334
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,729
Well, in that case,
i'd better get on
the air phone
335
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:53,699
And warn
the village below.
Come on, David.
336
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,668
- no no, Darlene, no.
- come on, David.
337
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,536
Isn't there
a cover charge
or something?
338
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,941
If they're all sitting
up in first class,
339
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,744
I'm gonna sneak
up there too.
340
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,881
I'm joining you!
341
00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:11,016
No, mom!
342
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,218
Mom!
343
00:19:13,219 --> 00:19:15,788
Mom!
344
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,726
( theme music playing )
345
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,233
Oh, stewart!
346
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:30,836
My towel's
beginning to cool.
347
00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,308
Ooh, oh,
ow ow ow!
348
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,010
Ow ow ow
ow ow ow!
349
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:42,314
No no,
not for my hands.
350
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:45,617
I want that one
on my feet.
351
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,886
Sir, sir.
352
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:51,423
You actually cut
the crusts off of these?
353
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:53,258
Can I have them?
354
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,099
Mom, what is this?
355
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,901
Oh, well that's what
fish looks like
356
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,670
Before they cut
it up into sticks
357
00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,106
And deep-fat fry it.
358
00:20:07,107 --> 00:20:09,541
I wouldn't eat it
if I was you.
359
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,143
Hey, bud.
360
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:14,913
Bud, you sure it's okay
for us to stay up here?
361
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,750
Oh yes.
The other passengers
all took a vote...
362
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,955
And insisted
that you stay up here.
363
00:20:22,956 --> 00:20:24,323
Isn't that great, Dan?
364
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:27,192
We make friends
wherever we go.
365
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:29,128
( belches )
I love it up here.
366
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:32,464
This is my 10th glass
of fresh-squeezed
orange juice.
367
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,435
My stomach
kind of hurts.
368
00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:39,538
You know, this is
pretty great, mom.
369
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:42,174
Yeah, listen,
we were thinking that maybe
it would be kind of cool
370
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,343
If we spend a little time
together as a family
371
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,045
Once we get there.
372
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:48,280
Yeah, you know,
not the whole time.
373
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,716
You know what they say--
nothing in excess.
374
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:55,387
No, really.
People really do say that.
375
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:59,191
Oh, you guys,
that is so nice.
376
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,793
I am so excited.
377
00:21:00,794 --> 00:21:02,461
We're going on
a family vacation.
378
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,430
Man, it's
totally awesome!
379
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,365
Ooh, everybody!
380
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:09,501
Channel 12
on your headsets--
nipsey russell!
381
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:17,710
( all laughing )
382
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,848
( theme music playing )
39783
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