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1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:05,137
( harmonica wails )
2
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:08,507
Okay, we're nearing
the end with me in
the lead, actually--
3
00:00:08,508 --> 00:00:11,210
Followed by darlene
with 137
4
00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:12,878
And Becky with 123,
5
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:15,948
And bringing up the rear,
Mark with a personal best
of 73.
6
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,483
All right.
7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:22,087
Darlene, you're up.
8
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:23,989
Okay.
9
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:29,762
Ah. I've got it.
I'll just put down
the y.
10
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,730
"buckety"?
11
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,833
It's not a word.
12
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:40,072
Of course it is.
It means "of or
pertaining to
13
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:44,076
Or having
the characteristics
of a bucket,"
14
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:46,078
As in "when Roseanne
is angry,
15
00:00:46,079 --> 00:00:48,881
Her mouth is
quite buckety."
16
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:51,884
I'm looking it up.
17
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,720
Here's an interesting
bit of trivia for you,
David--
18
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,789
Milton bradley
was killed by
his girlfriend.
19
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,224
Okay, uh...
20
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:03,295
18 plus the y and
the double-letter
score is 24.
21
00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:06,565
You wouldn't give
me "twinkie" but you
give her "buckety"?
22
00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,469
Well, fine,
you challenge her then.
23
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:13,072
Yeah, and then i'll go
poke mom with a stick
24
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,074
While she's sleeping.
25
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,976
Oh, none of
this really matters,
'cause i'm gonna win.
26
00:01:17,977 --> 00:01:20,379
( all laugh )
27
00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:22,047
What's gonna be
this time, Mark--
28
00:01:22,048 --> 00:01:23,716
"it" or "is"?
29
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,786
Read it and weep,
smart guys--
30
00:01:27,787 --> 00:01:30,689
"oxygen."
31
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:36,762
Wow. Uh, that's "x"
32
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,198
On the triple-letter score
33
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:41,633
Plus triple-word score
34
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:44,803
Is 99.
Add that onto
what he has...
35
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:48,240
( laughs )
my god!
36
00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,044
That puts Mark
in the lead.
37
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,079
Oh, I won!
I won!
38
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:55,814
I finally won!
39
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,083
The knowledge
in my head is
quite buckety.
40
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,425
� i'm the boss of you �
41
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,327
� i'm the boss of you �
42
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:11,930
� and i've always been
the boss of you. �
43
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,737
Wait a minute, Mark.
Uh...
44
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:21,807
"oxygen" is not a word.
45
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,213
Yeah, she's right.
46
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,916
"oxygen"?
47
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,987
That's not
a word.
48
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,089
Yeah. Ahem.
49
00:02:37,090 --> 00:02:40,159
It-- it's
an abbreviation.
50
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,565
Bull, I saw it
on air tanks.
51
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,335
Well, yeah, of course.
52
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,370
That's because they have
to use the abbreviation
53
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:54,773
'cause the full word
wouldn't fit on
the air tank.
54
00:02:54,774 --> 00:02:57,476
Unless you
printed it vertically,
which is-- uh...
55
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,546
Which is-- which is
just against the law.
56
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,955
Okay.
57
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,760
Ahem.
58
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,362
"it."
59
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,632
( theme music playing )
60
00:04:03,309 --> 00:04:05,044
( Roseanne laughing )
61
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,356
Yeah, i'm sure this time.
That's what I want.
62
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:21,660
All right, now deliver that
to 714 delaware street,
Lanford, Illinois.
63
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,963
Excuse me,
I think I left
my credit card here.
64
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:27,466
Oh, never mind.
65
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:35,541
I'm sorry, pumpkin,
I just don't feel like
going out tonight.
66
00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:38,877
I mean I know
it's Saturday, okay?
67
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,480
But, gee, not every night
has to be a party.
68
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:43,682
Every night?
We never go out.
69
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:47,186
The olympic torch
goes out more often
than we do.
70
00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:50,989
Well, i'm tired
after work, okay?
71
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,092
Besides, it's hard
being around people
72
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,328
After being around
that all day.
73
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,231
Oh, sticks and stones
may break my bones,
74
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,834
But at least they're
not part of my sex life.
75
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:08,474
He never wants to do
anything but lie
around the house.
76
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,510
I don't know how
he can call himself gay.
77
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:14,013
So what? He just
came out of the closet
78
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:16,548
And headed straight
for the couch.
79
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,118
So what time do you think
nana mary's gonna get
to my place tonight?
80
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:21,120
Well, if she remembers
her glasses,
81
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,988
She'll be in lanford
in an hour
82
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,923
And if not,
she'll be in lansing
by midnight.
83
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,493
She was so excited
to meet my andy,
84
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,461
She must be dying
to meet jerry.
85
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,464
Yeah. You know,
she's excited to have
someone else in the family
86
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:34,500
That has a soft spot
in their head.
87
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:39,338
Well, look at this--
my first paper tip.
88
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,207
The conner luck
is changing.
89
00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,576
- invest.
- ( door opens )
90
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:47,546
Hey, honey,
got those sandwiches
for the poker game?
91
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,548
- yeah, I do.
- hi, Dan.
92
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:52,851
I made them last week so
you'll have to nuke them
for about 10 seconds
93
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,586
To reactivate
the grease.
94
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:57,222
Bye, honey.
95
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:59,291
Hey, maverick,
96
00:05:59,292 --> 00:06:01,994
Why don't you invite
Leon and scott for your
poker game tonight?
97
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:04,863
Oh, that
sounds wonderful.
What time, Dan?
98
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,132
4:00. We start at 4:00.
Love to have you.
99
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:11,103
You know, he just
may go for this.
100
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:14,740
I'll pass it off
as a new and different
cultural experience.
101
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,443
Yeah, Dan got
the jalapeno doritos
this time.
102
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,279
Roseanne,
what are you doing?
103
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,247
It's supposed
a night out for
the guys.
104
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:24,850
What, you don't count
them as guys?
105
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,119
No, it's not that.
They're married--
106
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,121
They'll be
nagging each other
all night long
107
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:31,590
About how much
they drank,
108
00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,258
How much
they're betting--
109
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:35,627
( effeminately )
is that $5 of your money
or our money?
110
00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:38,664
Yip yip-yip,
yip-yip, yip yip yip.
111
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,600
It'd be like
if you came.
112
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,940
- okay, they can come.
- ( door opens )
113
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,608
( sighs )
114
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,277
Well, I tried.
I tried everything.
115
00:06:52,278 --> 00:06:55,814
He absolutely
will not come to
this poker game.
116
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:58,484
Well, did you
let him know that i'm
not gonna be there?
117
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:01,487
I'll bring
the dip.
118
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,866
( knock on door )
119
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,669
Oh, that's
your great-grandma.
120
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:19,672
Nana mary is really
kind of crazy.
121
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:23,108
She drinks too much
and she's loud
and obnoxious,
122
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:26,945
But she's got
some killer stories
about the depression.
123
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,916
- hi.
- hello.
Hello, Jackie.
124
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:35,721
- look at andy.
- oh.
125
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:41,160
Oh, andy.
Hello, sweetheart.
126
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,462
Could you run down
to the drugstore,
please, Jackie,
127
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,230
And get me
a pack of smokes?
128
00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:48,367
Maybe later--
yeah, nana.
( chuckles )
129
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:51,003
All right, honey.
Oh, Rosie, hello.
130
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:54,707
Hey. This here
is your great-grandson
131
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,508
Jerry garcia conner.
132
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:58,610
Hello.
Hello, jerry.
133
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:01,613
Oh, he's cute.
He's cute-- big.
134
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:04,983
Hey, fourth baby
or not, this one
really had to hurt, huh?
135
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:08,320
- oh.
- do you wanna
hold him?
136
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,090
No, they all drip.
137
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:13,258
I'll hold him
when he's three.
138
00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:15,294
Okay, naptime.
139
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,862
Oh, that sounds great.
I'm ready.
140
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:19,732
No, she means
the kids.
141
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,633
Oh, that's okay too.
142
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,803
Attaboy, yeah.
143
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,472
Okay, so what's
in the box here?
144
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,841
I hope it's not
more clothes from all
your dead friends.
145
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:32,211
It's all the toys
that you and Jackie
used to play with
146
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,213
When you came over
to my house
147
00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,582
Because your mother
and father were trying
to kill each other.
148
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:37,950
- remember?
- oh.
149
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:40,619
Look at this stuff.
This is all of our toys.
150
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,155
This is gonna make me
so sentimental.
151
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,492
Yeah, but it's not
all the toys.
152
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,360
Anything that was
worth any money
153
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,796
Went to pay
for my new hip.
154
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:55,367
This box actually
smells like the 1950s.
( sniffs )
155
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,003
Oh... Ike.
156
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,877
It's gonna be
so great, you know?
157
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,579
Just like old times,
the three of us
sitting around
158
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,949
And remembering
all the old stuff
that used to happen.
159
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,853
( snores )
160
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,691
Well, her hair
is already short,
161
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:22,227
But, just for old
times' sake, let's get
the scissors anyway.
162
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,343
Kings bet 50�.
163
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:39,078
Uh, i'm in.
164
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,980
I see you
and raise you $1.
165
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:43,782
Ooh. Well,
i'm out.
166
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:46,719
Scott's probably
bluffing like when
he said he could cook.
167
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,488
The dealer is in.
168
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:52,891
Yeah, you're
just upset because
you're down $10.
169
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,693
I am in.
170
00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:57,429
Or because
it's been six weeks
since the wedding
171
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,965
And someone I know
hasn't answered
their share
172
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,967
- of the thank-you notes.
- and i've spent the last
two weeks--
173
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:05,304
Hey hey hey
hey hey hey
hey hey hey.
174
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,106
I thought
I told you guys
no marriage talk.
175
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,874
We're here
to play cards,
not chit chat.
176
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,343
He's been chit chatting
about the bulls game.
177
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,078
- games are okay.
- cars.
178
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,880
Yeah, cars are
fine too.
179
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,182
How about the arts?
180
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,919
You follow
the arts, bob?
181
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,087
What is that,
like theater?
182
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,191
Yes, I keep up
with the theater.
183
00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:29,828
In a tabloid the other day
I saw a picture of o.J. Going
to "damned yankees."
184
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:31,797
- oh man.
- let's...
185
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,465
Not talk about the--
186
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,234
What, "damned yankees"?
Why not?
187
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,469
I hear the choreography
has verve.
188
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,840
He meant o.J., bob.
189
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:45,244
I mean some people
are afraid to discuss it
in mixed company.
190
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,379
Yes, I for one
am sick of o.J.
191
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,915
He's on the golf course,
he's making a video--
192
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:52,618
I wish it would
just go away.
193
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:55,054
Why can't the man
do what he wants?
He was acquitted.
194
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,556
- oh please.
- oh, Chuck, come on.
195
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,292
I mean even you
have to admit that
trial was a joke.
196
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,828
I don't think so.
I was happy with
the way it came out.
197
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,597
- me too!
- i'm getting another beer.
Anybody want one?
198
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,399
I brought salad.
199
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,269
Look, Chuck, please.
( stammers )
200
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,338
The verdict
was ridiculous.
201
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,039
Look, all I know is
it's hard for a black man
202
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,808
To get a fair shake
in this country.
203
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,411
Oh, okay. Well, you
try being a gay man
in Lanford, Illinois.
204
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,380
I mean,
there is nothing
like-- like having
205
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,916
To correct
the spelling when
somebody paints "faggot"
206
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,319
Across your
garage door.
207
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,655
Hey, when was
the last time
208
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,458
You're driving down
the street in a new car
and pulled over for nothing?
209
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:36,328
- I mean, nothing.
- hey, you know the pancake
jamboree is this Sunday?
210
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,665
Leon, when I walk
down the street,
211
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,967
People know i'm black.
Now when you walk
down the street,
212
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:44,403
For all people know,
you're just another
white guy.
213
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:47,706
With a great ass.
214
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:54,513
They don't
care, scott.
215
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,815
Look, Chuck,
have either of you
guys ever heard
216
00:11:56,816 --> 00:11:58,684
Of a little thing
called "gay bashing"?
217
00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,886
Look, don't talk
to me about hate crimes.
218
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,654
Most of them
are directed at us.
219
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:05,524
Guys guys guys!
You've both made
some valid points.
220
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:08,627
Now can't we all
just accept the fact
that we've all got it tough?
221
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,931
Hey, happy,
what do you mean "we"?
222
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:15,901
What?
223
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:19,338
Dan, you're a straight
white male--
224
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,974
You've got it
easier than anybody
in the whole world.
225
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,377
Well, yeah.
226
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,546
Okay, it may seem
like that, Chuck,
227
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,581
But i'm telling you,
lately us white males
228
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,250
Been getting blamed
for everything.
229
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,853
Maybe it's cause
you did everything.
230
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:39,324
Listen, i've never
done anything
in my life.
231
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,260
Ask anyone.
232
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,331
Yeah. Okay, listen,
i've been hearing
a lot lately
233
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,034
About how white
men are to blame
for everything,
234
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:50,769
About how we have
all the advantages,
235
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,438
How we get
all the breaks,
236
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,773
But look at me and bob--
we ain't living
in no mansion.
237
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,209
- we had to struggle
for everything we've got.
- yeah.
238
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,245
You've struggled
for this?
239
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,314
( laughs )
240
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,183
( car approaching )
241
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,185
Shh.
242
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,987
- ( engine turns off )
- oh, roseanne's home.
243
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:13,726
Hi.
244
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,695
- ( scott sighs )
- false alarm.
245
00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,997
Oh, I guess
we do have some
common ground, huh?
246
00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:21,033
Yeah!
247
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,168
Coming around again,
brothers and sisters.
248
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,105
"not guilty"
is not the same
as "innocent," please.
249
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:28,874
Why would a man
get in a car and drive
all the way down to--
250
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,542
- tell them
about rosa lopez...
- oh, please.
251
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,045
- ...That you read
in the thing.
- oh, her.
252
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:37,049
She's a man--
rosa lopez is
a man, all right?
253
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,352
Can't hear,
can't hear,
can't hear...
254
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:50,629
Oh, you should see him
sleeping in there.
255
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,532
- it's so cute,
you wouldn't believe it.
- aww.
256
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:57,102
You know, jerry had pulled
all the covers up over himself
257
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:59,505
- and little
andy is like...
- ( laughing )
258
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,507
...Laying there
shivering
259
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,810
And his face is pressed up
against the crib bars.
260
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:10,082
( chuckles )
well, I hope you
took care of it.
261
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,384
Took care of what?
262
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:15,554
Well, let's--
let's go through
the box now, okay?
263
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,323
No, we can't do it
while nana mary is
still sleeping.
264
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:20,693
That's totally
inconsiderate.
265
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:24,596
But-- Roseanne,
don't. You know her,
she's not gonna wake up.
266
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:26,799
( sighs )
well, let me give her
one more shot.
267
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,601
Hey, look,
there goes tyrone power
268
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,203
In his underwear!
269
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,540
All right,
we're going in
without her.
270
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,275
All right.
271
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,044
Oh, it's like
stepping into
a time warp.
272
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,813
And finding a great
big box of crap.
273
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,481
Ooh.
274
00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,550
Ah, man,
and I was six
275
00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,486
Before I realized
this was not a pet.
276
00:14:49,522 --> 00:14:51,757
This is my cast,
when I broke my arm.
277
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,425
What's this doing
with nana mary?
278
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,195
Don't you remember?
She thought you were
acting like a big baby.
279
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,898
So she cut it off
a week earlier with
her pinking shears.
280
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,434
And to this day
it is hard
281
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,637
To get a blazer
to lay right on me.
282
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:09,942
Oh, look at this.
"princess isabella" lives.
283
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,711
Da-ta-da-da!
284
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,647
We'll see if
yours is in there.
Oh, there you go,
285
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,083
Queen of
the dirt monkeys.
286
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,920
What are you doing
in my palace?
287
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,989
I've come
to dethrone you,
princess.
288
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,092
Come, my dirt-monkey
minions!
289
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:29,795
You shall never
get my throne
290
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:34,233
Because your red, shiny
monkey butt is too big.
291
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,035
God, it's my doll.
292
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:39,338
It's my Mrs. Tuttle.
Oh my god, I thought
she was lost forever.
293
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:43,442
Where have you been?
I missed you so much!
294
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,512
Well, her and Mr. Tuttle
got a little condo
295
00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:48,414
Outside of
fort lauderdale.
296
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,949
So the last time
I saw her--
297
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,951
I know we were sleeping
over nana mary's house
298
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,953
And I had her with me
before we went to sleep
299
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,955
And when I woke up,
she was gone.
300
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,391
Well, I-- yeah,
301
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:02,094
Probably, uh,
you know, nana mary--
302
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:05,130
She might've
taken her away
from you because--
303
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,300
Well, she thought you were
getting too attached
or something.
304
00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,071
And as I recall,
you told me
305
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,240
There was a string
of dollnappings
plaguing the area.
306
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:20,145
Yeah, yeah.
My betsy wetsy
was so nervous.
307
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,381
So she held it in
for days.
308
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,785
Mrs. Tuttle
was not kidnapped.
309
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,554
And nana mary
didn't take the doll.
310
00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:32,024
Of course
nana mary didn't
take the doll.
311
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:35,361
A workman was
cleaning out my attic
312
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,797
And he found it stuffed
behind some insulation.
313
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,967
Oh, I was so glad
it wasn't another
dead body.
314
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,771
Dollnapper!
315
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:48,474
Thieving, evil,
rotten dollnapper!
316
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,444
Admit it!
Admit it!
317
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,680
Okay, I took her.
Are you happy?
318
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,916
No, on the contrary,
it sickens me!
319
00:16:59,319 --> 00:17:02,454
Why, Roseanne?
Why would you take
Mrs. Tuttle?
320
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:05,791
Yeah, why?
Why does a chicken
cross the road?
321
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,027
To get at the gin!
Come on, stop fighting
322
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:10,496
And let's have a drink.
It's getting dark.
323
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:13,966
I took her
because I hated her!
324
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:16,835
Why? What did
she ever do to you?
325
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,837
Well,
if you wanna know,
326
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,874
Just when we were little,
you used to...
327
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,610
You know,
think of me as some
kind of a goddess.
328
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:26,311
You would do whatever
I wanted you to do,
329
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,547
Whenever I told you to do it
and I liked that, Jackie.
330
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:31,050
I liked feeling
all that control.
331
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:33,786
And then Mrs. Tuttle
came around.
332
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,822
Go on.
333
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:40,392
And then all of a sudden
I just didn't matter
anymore, did I?
334
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,495
I'd be like, "come on,
Jackie. Do you wanna
go play jump rope?"
335
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,965
And instead of just
saying yes, you had to
run and ask Mrs. Tuttle
336
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:50,235
If she wanted to play jump rope
and of course she didn't want
to play jump rope, did she?
337
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,304
No, she wanted
to play marbles
338
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,707
Or play with dolls
or have a tea party.
339
00:17:54,708 --> 00:17:58,310
She never wanted
to do anything that
I wanted to do.
340
00:18:00,347 --> 00:18:03,682
Tuttle asked for it.
So I smoked her.
341
00:18:05,719 --> 00:18:09,355
By shoving her
behind some insulation!
342
00:18:09,356 --> 00:18:11,023
Turn her over,
343
00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:13,525
You will see what
the rats did to her butt.
344
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,797
( jerry crying )
345
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,701
Let me go check
on jerry.
346
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,483
( whispering )
did jerry steal
the blankets again?
347
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:41,020
- no, look.
- oh, look, they're all
cuddled up together.
348
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:43,856
Nana mary:
that's the wayyou two used to nap--
349
00:18:43,857 --> 00:18:45,858
Cuddled.
350
00:18:45,859 --> 00:18:49,261
As a matter of fact,
that sounds like
a good idea--
351
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,296
A nap
around about now.
352
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,700
Uh, Roseanne,
there's something
that you need to know.
353
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:58,037
You don't deserve
to know it, but i'm
gonna tell you anyway.
354
00:18:58,038 --> 00:18:59,972
Mrs. Tuttle loved you.
355
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,777
- get out of here.
- she loved you, Roseanne.
356
00:19:04,778 --> 00:19:06,645
I'd complain about you
and i'd put you down
357
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,348
And she always-- always--
stood up for you.
358
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,985
This lady was
in your corner.
359
00:19:15,889 --> 00:19:17,823
I didn't know.
360
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,461
She should've
told me.
361
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,431
Well, it just
wasn't her way.
362
00:19:27,801 --> 00:19:30,035
I hope they're
nicer to each other
than we were.
363
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,237
They're gonna grow up
practically brothers.
364
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:36,075
You don't think jerry's
like, gonna terrorize
little andy, do you?
365
00:19:36,076 --> 00:19:38,077
No, how could that happen?
Andy is older.
366
00:19:38,078 --> 00:19:40,245
But jerry is
your kid, Roseanne.
367
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,247
You used to mop
the floor with me.
368
00:19:42,248 --> 00:19:44,850
He already took
the blankets before.
369
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:48,354
Next thing you know,
andy will be stuffed
in some insulation.
370
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,689
No, he won't.
371
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:54,560
We'll make
sure we-- you know,
we'll break the cycle.
372
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,862
And I promise
I will make sure
373
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,864
That jerry is
as sweet to andy
374
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,734
As I should've been
to you.
375
00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:05,104
( sighs )
that'll still
leave him open
376
00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:06,839
For a whole lot
of pounding.
377
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,608
Thanks, thanks.
378
00:20:09,609 --> 00:20:12,344
Nana mary:
come on, everybody,it's sundown!
379
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:15,514
- who's up for a daiquiri?
- ( blender whirs )
380
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,560
I'll see that
and bump it...
381
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,030
- 50 cents.
- aw.
382
00:20:31,031 --> 00:20:33,332
I'm telling you,
that "damned yankees"
383
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:37,169
Was a terpsichorean
delight.
384
00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:40,305
I'm always amazed
with your philistine
inclinations.
385
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:41,974
I'm in.
386
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:44,510
I'm afraid I have
to concur, bob.
387
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:46,712
There's such an artificial
studied formalness
388
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:48,447
To so much
broadway choreography.
389
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:51,450
Give me
martha graham any day.
390
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,519
I don't know what the hell
you're talking about, man.
391
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,187
Martha graham?
392
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:57,423
If you haven't seen
the phoenix dance company,
393
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,725
You haven't
experienced dance.
394
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:01,493
I'll bump one.
395
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:05,864
Phoenix dance company
is yesterday's
mummenschanz.
396
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,666
Hey, don't knock
mummenschanz.
397
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:11,136
Mummenschanz--
that's where theater
and dance merge.
398
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,306
Gentlemen, let's get
back to what we were
discussing before.
399
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,241
I still maintain
that the boston pops
400
00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:18,711
- set classical
music back 50 years.
- bob: hear hear.
401
00:21:18,712 --> 00:21:22,047
Oh oh! You know
what this discussion
reminds me of?
402
00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,516
Puccini's "la granada."
403
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,319
( all laughing )
404
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:33,158
- oh, oh, that vermeer
exhibit in washington...
- well...
405
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,426
- ...Changed my life.
- oh, yeah.
406
00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:37,162
Vermeer, bob, yes.
407
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,431
But just as you are
dealing this game,
408
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,767
The artist in any field
must acknowledge
409
00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,969
That his is
a nabokovian presence.
410
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,271
He must cast off
any pretense
411
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:49,675
Of a studied
and artificial...
Naturalism.
412
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,111
- okay.
- he must be wholly
present in his work.
413
00:21:52,112 --> 00:21:53,512
All:
I agree.
414
00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:55,347
Read 'em
and weep, suckers--
aces, full eights.
415
00:21:55,348 --> 00:21:58,717
- damn.
- that's three
in a row.
416
00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:01,220
I ain't playing here
no more.
417
00:22:01,221 --> 00:22:04,156
( theme music playing )
46209
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