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1
00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:07,806
Kinda nice being herebefore the store opens.
2
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:10,142
Very peaceful.
Very still.
3
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:13,379
Shh, there's
a deer over there
by the brillo pads.
4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,449
Good morning,
ladies.
5
00:00:17,450 --> 00:00:19,752
Parkin, manager.
6
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,854
Nice to see you're
right on time.
7
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,356
Yeah well,
that's 'cause I have
to leave early.
8
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:27,159
Now where can we go
to sit and drink coffee?
9
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,962
Apparently in your car.
10
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,964
All right.
11
00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:35,134
Here, let me show you
the demonstration area you'll
be working right down here.
12
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,202
We're expecting
a huge crowd this weekend,
13
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:39,605
And if you
saw the circular
in today's paper,
14
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:40,939
You probably
know why.
15
00:00:40,940 --> 00:00:44,176
Oh, they got a newspaper
on the weekdays?
16
00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,313
Yes, they do.
17
00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:51,817
Here are two new products
we're rather excited about
18
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,153
That you'll be giving out
samples of today.
19
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:56,021
"soyasausage" right here,
20
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:58,257
And cheese in a can.
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,727
"'soyasausage,'
22
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,263
America's first
meatless all-vegetable
23
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,031
Sausage-like product."
24
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:08,500
Cheese in a can.
25
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:10,269
"cheese..."
( clears throat )
26
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:14,039
"in a can."
27
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,742
All right,
i've got a lot to do
so i'll make this brief:
28
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,645
Offer one sample
to the customer.
Just one.
29
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:22,781
Let them try it,
then suggest that
they buy some
30
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:25,050
To take home, you see?
Sound good?
31
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:26,719
Sounds very good.
Mr. Parkin,
32
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,922
Is there a particular
type of customer that we
should be looking for?
33
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:33,092
I like your pluck.
34
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:36,195
All right,
let's talk
demographics.
35
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:39,698
Each shopper,
we find, is looking
for something different.
36
00:01:39,699 --> 00:01:42,968
Women in their 40s are
looking for quality,
for example.
37
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:46,705
Women in their 20s
and 30s are looking
for affordability.
38
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,842
On the other hand,
men in their 40s are--
39
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:51,777
Are looking for
women in their 20s.
40
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,448
Hey, how much are
we getting paid?
41
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:59,084
$4.25 an hour,
42
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,186
Plus--
and here comes
the big money--
43
00:02:02,856 --> 00:02:06,425
15� for every
unit you move.
44
00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:08,427
Wow, I couldn't
be more excited
45
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,897
If I knew
how to multiply.
46
00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:14,767
So if I have
a really good day,
47
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,835
I could pay for all
those christmas presents
I just bought.
48
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:18,604
Right, 'cause
they were what?
49
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,306
15� a unit too.
50
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,175
Well, good luck,
51
00:02:23,176 --> 00:02:26,145
And just remember
the three rules of
product sampling.
52
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,714
Chase, tackle,
threaten?
53
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,183
Smile, sample...
54
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:33,252
Sell.
55
00:02:33,253 --> 00:02:34,987
Whatever.
56
00:02:36,523 --> 00:02:38,457
Okay, so...
57
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,060
Which one do
you want, Roseanne?
The soyasausages?
58
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,195
Oh yeah,
you would like that,
wouldn't you?
59
00:02:43,196 --> 00:02:45,764
'cause nobody's
gonna buy that crap.
60
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:48,834
Besides, if I go home
smelling like sausage,
61
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,836
Dan will never let me
get any rest.
62
00:02:54,341 --> 00:02:56,875
Smile, sample, sell.
63
00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,045
Smile, sample, sell.
64
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:03,849
Well, hello there,
Mrs. John q. Shopper.
65
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,317
Smile.
66
00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:08,253
Would you like to try
some of our soyasausage?
Sample.
67
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:11,156
Why don't you take
some home for your family?
They're bound to enjoy it.
68
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:13,625
Sell.
69
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,729
Sweet damn it,
it works.
70
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:23,569
Oh, relax, Jackie.
You don't have to do
anything.
71
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,838
People will eat cotton
in a supermarket
72
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,773
As long as there's
a toothpick in it.
73
00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,810
Hey, did you know
you could cure cancer
74
00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:35,147
With three cups
of hot water and a pepper?
75
00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:38,717
Yeah, I know we
just took these jobs
76
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,486
To bring in a little
extra cash,
77
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:43,555
But that doesn't
mean we don't have
to take it seriously.
78
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,791
All right.
I am ready.
79
00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:47,626
Skillet's nice and hot.
80
00:03:47,627 --> 00:03:49,261
I got the toothpicks.
I got the napkins.
81
00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,430
Everything is handy
within reach.
82
00:03:51,431 --> 00:03:53,165
I got my backup here.
83
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:56,402
People are gonna
start flooding through
that door any second.
84
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,704
Don't you think
you ought to get
your area ready?
85
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,214
Come and get it
before it hardens.
86
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,084
( theme music playing )
87
00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,658
( Roseanne laughs )
88
00:04:57,764 --> 00:05:00,766
You know, Dan,
since i'm helping you
with this linoleum and all--
89
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:03,469
Yeah yeah, i'll help
you put new linoleum
in your trailer.
90
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,970
Who cares
about that, man?
91
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,706
I wanna be the first
person to slide across
this in my socks.
92
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:09,641
You'll be wearing
pants too, young man.
93
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:19,051
Hey, Deej, I thought this
might help you draw that cat
for your art class.
94
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:21,787
Now you can use
these pictures to study
bone structure,
95
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,455
Musculature,
coloring.
96
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,591
It's a cat calendar.
97
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,192
I know.
Look at March.
98
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,698
This is from 1987.
I can't use this.
99
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,700
All these cats
are dead by now!
100
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:41,206
That is not true.
They're on a big farm
with a nice cat lady.
101
00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,879
- besides, i'm done.
- well, wait a minute.
Let me see.
102
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,915
D.J., you were supposed
to draw a cat.
103
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:53,619
- read the bubble
over his head.
- "meow."
104
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,621
Sounds like a cat to me.
105
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,424
Dan:
David, d.J.,get in here a minute.
106
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,694
D.J., I think you can
do a lot better
107
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,595
If you'd just
apply yourself.
108
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:06,465
- you wanna be proud
of this, don't you?
- I am proud of this.
109
00:06:06,466 --> 00:06:08,400
You try holding a cat
down with one hand
110
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,170
And tracing it
with the other.
111
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:17,276
Now... I've got
a very important job
for you guys.
112
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:20,479
You stand
in the corners
113
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,415
So it doesn't roll up.
114
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,384
And if it does roll up,
115
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,253
Don't worry,
we'll get you out
of there, man.
116
00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:34,126
- hey, Mark,
what time's the movie?
- 5:00. We gotta get going.
117
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:37,663
D.J., you're just gonna
ditch your art project
to go to some movie?
118
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:40,966
Yeah, he is.
Van damme is so cool.
119
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:44,503
You know why?
His last name's
a cuss word.
120
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,741
Mr. Conner, I don't think
d.J. Should go to a movie.
121
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,110
Look, he's hardly
put any effort into
this art project.
122
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,380
Is that so?
D.J....
123
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:57,116
Is this the absolute
best you can do?
124
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,585
- yes, sir.
- cool.
125
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,888
- here's some
popcorn money.
- thanks, dad!
126
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:05,357
Mr. Connor, you just
let d.J. Blow off
his homework
127
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,326
To go watch some
horribly violent movie.
128
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:09,261
D.J. Doesn't have
a problem with violence.
129
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,730
You've met his mother.
130
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:16,335
Now run and get me
some more of these
encyclopedias.
131
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,671
Oh, and try to keep them
in alphabetical order.
132
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,806
I don't wanna spend
all day putting them back.
133
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:32,217
Mmm, smell,
everybody.
134
00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:35,087
Smell.
135
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:38,957
That full-bodied aroma
is created by our thoughtful
blend of spices.
136
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:41,760
You know...
137
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,830
I don't mind getting up
a little early each morning
138
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:48,200
To cook soyasausages
for my big guy.
Yeah.
139
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:52,137
My husband thanks me
in a thousand different ways.
140
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,340
A knowing glance,
a gentle touch,
141
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,876
It just makes it
all worthwhile.
( laughs )
142
00:07:57,877 --> 00:08:01,613
Mmm, soyasausages.
143
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,315
( laughing )
144
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,085
There we go.
145
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:09,922
Another sucker,
another 15�.
146
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:13,625
Okay, now the trick
is to aim it right down
the center aisle there.
147
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,595
You gotta give it
some arm too,
148
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:19,431
'cause them
are two-liter bottles
right there.
149
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,568
And i've been
doing this for a while.
You guys should start small,
150
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:24,703
Like with a cornish
game hen or something.
151
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,539
Now... Okay.
152
00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:29,575
Strike!
153
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:36,281
Here's a silly question.
154
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,217
Could you stop
doing that?
155
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,888
I suggest you try
156
00:08:42,889 --> 00:08:46,125
Taking your job
a little more
seriously.
157
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,428
Try to be more
like Jackie here.
158
00:08:51,831 --> 00:08:55,634
Well well well.
159
00:08:55,635 --> 00:08:57,670
You know, Roseanne,
160
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,672
You stand in back
of that skillet,
161
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:03,208
And you feel all that heat
and all that pressure,
and you wonder why.
162
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,277
And then one day,
the clouds part,
163
00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:08,614
And the manager throws
a little bit of sunshine
into your life.
164
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:12,217
And then you
realize that he's only
a grocery-store manager,
165
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,688
And all the clouds
come back.
166
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,589
This isn't bad.
167
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,692
Oops, got a fish
on the line.
168
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:23,328
Not bad?
Why, soy is god's
gift to arteries.
169
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,464
That's a lovely blazer
you're wearing.
170
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,566
That really brings out
the color in your eyes.
171
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,735
Oh well, i'll take
three boxes.
172
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,171
Oh, three?
Okay.
173
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:41,647
Hey, that's really
a great-looking sweatsuit
you got on there.
174
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:45,451
It kind of matches
the rug in my husband's
pickup truck.
175
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:48,587
What's on the crackers?
176
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,057
Oh, well, today we're
sampling some delightful
aerosol cheese.
177
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:54,560
It's great, I love it.
I've been eating it
all day.
178
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:56,562
Just the one day?
179
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,001
You're so witty.
180
00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:05,704
How many would you like?
181
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,042
This cheese stuff sucks.
182
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,510
I wanna do them.
183
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:13,679
You picked the cheese.
That was your choice.
184
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,282
You must be going
crazy from the soy fumes.
You picked the cheese.
185
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,451
Okay fine, switch.
186
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,021
No biggie.
I finally found
something i'm good at.
187
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,590
I can sell anything.
I'm crazy Jackie!
188
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,192
I must be insane!
189
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,030
You know what
my advice to you is:
190
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,931
Just do
the best you can.
191
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:35,768
It's not a competition.
192
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,305
It is now.
193
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,643
Hey! Hey, kid,
get over here and eat
some of this.
194
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,881
It's soy-tastic.
195
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,749
Hey, these are good.
196
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,685
Why don't you go
and tell your mom
197
00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,820
To come over here
and buy a few boxes
from me?
198
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,056
Oh, my mom's not here.
199
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,558
- well, do you got
any money?
- no.
200
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,493
Well, get out of here.
201
00:11:10,970 --> 00:11:14,206
I'm sorry,
but this is not a cat.
202
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:17,776
This is an amorphous smear
203
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:20,379
Of existential
nothingness.
204
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,181
Oui oui!
205
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,283
( french accent )
now let us retire to henri's
206
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,884
And speak of revolution!
207
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:34,059
Well come on, Mr. Conner,
does this look like
a cat to you?
208
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:37,262
D.J. Says it's a cat,
it's a cat...
209
00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:40,833
Recovering from a stroke.
210
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:45,471
Made all the more
tragic by his having
no neck or legs.
211
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,906
This is not a cat.
212
00:11:47,907 --> 00:11:50,109
( french accent )
you're boring me.
213
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,810
He put zero effort
into that.
214
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,645
He should be home
right now redoing it.
215
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,382
I already told him
he could go to the movies.
216
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,685
That way when I rent it,
he can point out where all
the good nudity is.
217
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:03,088
And then you let him
go with Mark, of all people.
218
00:12:03,089 --> 00:12:06,425
- so?
- so... Mark--
mark's Mark.
219
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,928
Maybe one of the reasons
d.J.'s so lazy about
his schoolwork
220
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,930
Is that he hangs around
with a guy like Mark.
221
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,902
What's wrong with Mark?
222
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:20,806
I'm just saying that
mark's probably not the best
role model in the world.
223
00:12:20,807 --> 00:12:23,409
You certainly don't
want d.J. Taking after him.
224
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,211
Why not?
225
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,681
Mr. Conner,
i'm trying--
226
00:12:28,682 --> 00:12:31,383
No, why wouldn't I want d.J.
To be a standup guy
227
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,586
Who busts his ass
to support himself
and his wife?
228
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,323
Mr. Conner,
all i'm saying is that--
229
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,592
No, I know what
you're saying, David,
and I think it stinks.
230
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:43,429
Mark may not be einstein,
but you know what?
231
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,999
He makes the most
of what he's got.
He tries.
232
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,035
That's more than I can say
for some people around here.
233
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:52,371
Who, me?
234
00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:55,874
Wow, smart guys like you
catch on real quick.
235
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,344
Hey, I try.
236
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,012
No, David.
You don't try.
237
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,814
You work part-time
at a pizza parlor,
238
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,183
And you spend
the rest of your life
sitting on the couch
239
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,919
Making ironic comments
about everybody else.
240
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,055
Irony's for people
who don't do anything.
You get my drift?
241
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:13,592
Mr. Conner,
we're talking
about d.J.
242
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,661
Yeah, and you know what?
The truth is
243
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:19,631
I'd rather have him
hang around with Mark
than with you.
244
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,468
Excuse me,
i've got work to do.
245
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,080
Look at me!
Look at me!
246
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:38,117
I can barely keep ahead
of the demand!
247
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,185
Well, try to stay ahead
of this demand--
248
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,021
Shut up.
249
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:45,724
It just kills you
250
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:49,261
That I might be better
than you at something.
251
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:52,765
Actually, Jackie,
there's a lot of things
you're better than me at:
252
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,467
Finding unavailable men,
253
00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:57,403
Setting unreachable goals,
254
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,405
And ass-kissing.
255
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,440
What have you got there?
256
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,275
Soyasausages--
257
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,911
They're not
only good tasting,
but good for you.
258
00:14:05,912 --> 00:14:09,048
I haven't eaten any
and I feel like crap.
259
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,984
Cheese in a can,
260
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,619
It's really good.
261
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,888
And because these
are made without pork,
262
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,123
You'll be tops
with your jewish pals.
263
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:20,059
Ooh.
264
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,261
Yes, cheese in a can.
265
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,264
It's really
really good.
266
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,800
Now that's what's known
as marketing, Roseanne,
267
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:30,002
And, man oh man,
am I good at it.
268
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,505
You want marketing?
I'll show you marketing.
269
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:37,176
Attention, shoppers!
Try soyasausages.
270
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,944
Almost as good
as the cheese,
271
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:41,914
But without
the spider eggs
and hair.
272
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,419
That is not true!
273
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:51,090
Truth has no place
in marketing, Jackie.
274
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,025
And they cure cancer.
275
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:59,398
Soyasausages--
the food of demons.
Eat it and go to hell!
276
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,036
Yeah, where you'll meet
the inventor of cheese
in a can!
277
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:07,172
Yeah, nice try,
Roseanne.
278
00:15:07,173 --> 00:15:10,943
Nice try.
In fact...
279
00:15:10,944 --> 00:15:13,746
That was just...
280
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,681
"grrreat."
281
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:22,121
Oh, Jackie.
You and your
silly tricks.
282
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,557
But as everyone knows...
283
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,061
( laughs )
284
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,563
Trix...
285
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:35,734
Are for kids!
286
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,637
M&m chocolate candies--
287
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:41,173
They melt
in your mouth...
288
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,875
Not in your hand.
289
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,786
You know, the best part
of waking up, Jackie,
290
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,888
Is folgers in your cup!
291
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,232
( chuckles )
292
00:16:07,233 --> 00:16:10,469
Dishwashing liquid.
293
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,204
( cackles )
294
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:13,906
You're soaking in it!
295
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:15,841
Say it!
Say it!
296
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,509
Okay, all right!
Fine!
297
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,145
You're better than me.
There, madge.
298
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,414
Five years ago--
299
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:24,817
Five years,
at uncle wong's,
300
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:28,387
I was handed a fortune that said
"someday your hidden talent
will be revealed."
301
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:31,957
Today that fortune
has come true.
302
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,892
Congratulations, Jackie.
303
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,795
You know how
to sell cheese.
304
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,498
Ha-ha-ha.
305
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,034
Ha-ha!
306
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,805
- oh Jackie?
- what?
307
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,677
Got milk?
308
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,853
( laughing )
309
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,893
Hello, ladies.
310
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,429
( laughing )
311
00:17:13,667 --> 00:17:16,969
How's your day?
312
00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:20,806
I see you're
really throwing yourself
into your work here.
313
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:23,575
Very impressive.
( forced laugh )
314
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,611
Get out.
315
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,683
You mean we don't
work here anymore?
316
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:33,452
I don't even think
I work here anymore.
317
00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,555
That's fine then.
318
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,124
So who do we go see
about getting paid?
319
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,733
- can I give you
a hand with that?
- no, I got it.
320
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:53,105
Mr. Conner,
i've been thinking
about what you said.
321
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,742
It really made
a lot of sense.
322
00:17:56,743 --> 00:18:00,412
So i've decided
I need a change.
323
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,482
I need a big change,
324
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:07,119
So i'm gonna move out.
325
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,825
Look, I didn't mean
to be that hard
on you earlier.
326
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:14,993
Hey, i'm not asking
you for an apology.
327
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:18,097
I just don't know
why the hell you
got so upset.
328
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:21,834
- you don't?
- no.
329
00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:25,504
You mean in that
deep sensitive soul
of yours,
330
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,307
You can't understand
why I might be upset
331
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,509
When you rip apart Mark--
332
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,612
A guy that
doesn't read much--
he's not book smart--
333
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:37,049
But who works
real hard every day
at the Lanford city garage
334
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,951
To support his wife
and his family?
335
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,820
You can't understand
why that might not upset me?
336
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,757
I think I can.
( stammers )
337
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:48,027
I'm a little scared
to say it now.
338
00:18:50,163 --> 00:18:52,998
Mr. Conner,
i'm sorry.
339
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,933
I should not have
put Mark down like that,
340
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:58,504
And I certainly didn't
mean to put down
anyone else.
341
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,273
Yeah.
342
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,642
Forget it.
343
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,811
And you're right,
344
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,714
I should get off the couch
and apply myself more.
345
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,584
Yeah, that's good.
346
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:14,720
So are we okay now?
347
00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:17,056
Yeah, we're cool.
348
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,695
You know, Mrs. Conner
is gonna love this
new linoleum.
349
00:19:22,696 --> 00:19:25,597
No no no no.
Don't tell her it's new.
350
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:27,199
See, every couple
of years or so
351
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,101
She asks me to clean
behind the stove,
352
00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:31,637
And i've always found
that doing this is
much easier.
353
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,711
So, David,
what's your time frame?
354
00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:41,947
- for what?
- for moving out.
355
00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:47,052
But we just sort
of made up and everything.
356
00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,522
Well yeah, I know,
but you're the one that
said you should move out.
357
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,825
Yeah well,
I just said that
358
00:19:52,826 --> 00:19:55,728
So that you could
talk me out of it.
359
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:58,497
I think we're
just holding you back
by letting you live here.
360
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:00,566
- oh, no you're not.
- yeah, we are.
361
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,268
I mean, it was great
when you were in high school,
362
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:06,372
But now you're a man.
363
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,141
No i'm not.
364
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:11,777
I know it's
hard for you to hear,
but you are a man.
365
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:15,614
Stop saying that.
I said I was sorry.
366
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:18,283
David.
367
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,920
David, you didn't think
we were gonna let you live
here forever, did you?
368
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:24,890
I don't know.
369
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,558
Not "forever."
370
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:30,129
Come on, David.
371
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:33,832
It may take me awhile
to find a place.
372
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,069
That's okay.
I'm not kicking you out.
373
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,138
Yes, you are.
374
00:20:39,139 --> 00:20:41,573
Yeah, I guess I am.
( laughing )
375
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:46,078
I've never had
to do this before.
376
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:48,414
All the other kids
couldn't wait to get
out of here.
377
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:51,183
So then shouldn't
my loyalty buy me
378
00:20:51,184 --> 00:20:52,651
An extra month or two?
379
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:56,522
Done.
380
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,991
You're gonna
be okay, David.
381
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:03,228
Yeah.
382
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,898
Okay, Dan.
383
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:09,401
Yeah, you'll see.
384
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,937
It'll be fun.
385
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,807
A couple,
three months from now,
you'll be out on your own.
386
00:21:14,808 --> 00:21:16,909
You'll have a job.
Before you know it,
387
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:18,844
You'll start feeling
more grown up,
388
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,446
Just like
your brother Mark.
389
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:22,047
Wee!
390
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,586
( theme music playing )
391
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:32,057
Good evening, everybody.
I'm verne lundquist,
392
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:34,760
And welcome to beautiful
Lanford, Illinois,
393
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:38,731
Where fans are going wild over
what they hope will become
a new olympic sport.
394
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:42,634
And here comes
our first competitor
onto the floor now.
395
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,403
Scott hamilton--
396
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:47,373
An olympic championand a gutty littlecompetitor,
397
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:49,174
Has left the ice behind
398
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:52,511
For the exciting new sportof linoleum sock skating.
399
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:56,348
Now watch--he's going for the triple wallywith the split twist!
400
00:21:56,349 --> 00:21:59,885
Well, he backed off.Might have been worried aboutthat kitchen cabinet.
401
00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:02,855
Wonderful!
402
00:22:02,856 --> 00:22:06,392
And now here comesthe hometown favorite--Mark healy
403
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,660
For the pas de deuxportion of the routine.
404
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:14,299
A beautiful maneuver.
405
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,368
This is an important dayfor Mark healy.
406
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,137
He missedthe nationals last year
407
00:22:18,138 --> 00:22:20,572
Because he goton the wrong bus.
408
00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:29,948
And here comesthe finale...
409
00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:34,420
Lovely.
410
00:22:34,421 --> 00:22:36,422
Well-deserved bows
411
00:22:36,423 --> 00:22:38,624
For national treasurescott hamilton,
412
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:42,161
And for Mark healy,hard-working dumb guy.
42933
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