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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:03,168
( theme music playing )
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,806
Okay, he's in his
car seat and ready to roll.
3
00:00:07,807 --> 00:00:10,609
Look at that little
jerry garcia conner.
4
00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,378
He's so cute
and content in the car.
5
00:00:12,379 --> 00:00:14,279
Yeah, we sure
named him right.
6
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,448
He's only happy
when he's on the road.
7
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,386
( cooing )
8
00:00:20,387 --> 00:00:23,389
Okay, he's starting to fuss.
Come on, let's get
this thing loaded.
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,324
( country music playing )
10
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:54,653
Well, that ought
to be enough to get us
to the mall.
11
00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:56,588
( theme music playing )
12
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,363
( Roseanne laughs )
13
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,971
- ( baby cooing )
- boy, i've never seen him
this happy.
14
00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:47,239
Look at him
drool.
15
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,277
You know,
my andy still drools.
16
00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,314
At what age does this
drooling go from a sign
of happiness
17
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:57,383
To a sign of...
You know...
18
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,752
Hello, Mrs. Gump,
19
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,720
We found
your son?
20
00:02:01,721 --> 00:02:04,990
Here's sensitivity,
here's you.
21
00:02:04,991 --> 00:02:07,359
Chasm!
22
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,661
Boy, what a cool day.
23
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,331
For the first time
in two weeks, jerry hasn't
been cranky
24
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:15,401
Or clamping onto my breast
every two seconds.
25
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,970
Now if a car ride
could just do the same
for Dan...
26
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,307
I'm glad you're happy.
I can't believe in that
whole mall
27
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,210
I couldn't find that hair
color that cybill shepherd
uses.
28
00:02:25,211 --> 00:02:27,513
Well, maybe you're
just not worth it.
29
00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,352
We ought to go
to that big outlet mall
up in elgin.
30
00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,487
Elgin?
That's an hour away.
31
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,756
So, how would you
rather spend
the next hour?
32
00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:39,591
A peaceful drive
in the country,
33
00:02:39,592 --> 00:02:42,661
Or back at my place
with gray roots
and a screaming baby?
34
00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,564
Can we discuss it
before you make up
my mind?
35
00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:47,433
There has to be
someplace closer
than that.
36
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:50,869
Well, jerry's happy
and that makes me happy.
37
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:52,871
We want to go
to elgin, huh, honey?
38
00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:56,275
( cooing )
39
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,043
That's it.
Turn this thing around.
40
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:01,880
You're outvoted.
41
00:03:01,881 --> 00:03:04,483
I can't be outvoted
by a baby.
42
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:07,653
Okay, then i'll outvote you
all by myself.
43
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,762
( video game beeping )
44
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:21,867
Hey, Deej,
45
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,702
Are you...
Playing a video game?
46
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,473
( imitating d.J.'s voice )
no, dad,
47
00:03:27,474 --> 00:03:29,708
I'm developing
my hand-eye coordination,
48
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,610
So I can be of use
to the u.S. Army.
49
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,217
Let me put this
another way:
50
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,487
If you weren't here
right now, I would have
the house to myself
51
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,955
For the first time
since...
52
00:03:42,956 --> 00:03:45,657
Well, ever.
53
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,192
So...
54
00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:50,195
What's it
gonna take?
55
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:53,599
I'm writing down
a number.
56
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:02,141
Interesting...
57
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,410
How does this
grab you?
58
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,215
Are we gonna do business
or you just gonna bust
my chops?
59
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,856
This thing
you have done for me,
60
00:04:17,857 --> 00:04:20,359
I will not forget.
61
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,828
I'll be home
by 8:00.
62
00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,463
Okay, 9:00.
63
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:32,404
Yes.
The house is mine.
64
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,106
Mine, I tell you!
( laughs maniacally )
65
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,711
First comfort...
66
00:04:43,016 --> 00:04:44,817
Ah...
67
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,853
Then entertainment.
68
00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:58,497
Hey, guys.
69
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,899
You two are going out
tonight, aren't you?
70
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:02,801
Well, we weren't
going to.
71
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,770
Until we heard
you were giving
away money.
72
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,007
Thanks a lot, Deej.
73
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,116
Your brother
cleaned me out.
74
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,485
Okay, fine.
David,
75
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,388
Why don't you go get
that 10,000-piece puzzle
off the top shelf?
76
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:27,960
Wait a minute,
wait. Okay.
77
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,329
If the waiter
cuts that in half
you're on your own.
78
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,599
It's all right,
I got plenty of cash.
79
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,510
Ahh.
80
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,011
What's with
wives?
81
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,684
I don't get it, man.
She kicked me out
of my own house.
82
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,823
She kicked you out,
so you come to her
parents' house...
83
00:05:57,824 --> 00:06:01,393
We're the ones who
taught her not to like you
in the first place.
84
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,030
Do you understand
your wife, Dan?
85
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:08,834
I understand that
she's gone for the first
time since she had the baby.
86
00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,303
And I finally
have the opportunity
87
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:14,673
To ponder world events,
religious philosophies...
88
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,742
See how many different
sounds my body can make.
89
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,081
What are
we watching?
90
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:25,551
I was watching the game
alone, by myself, solo,
91
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,152
Party of one.
92
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:30,656
It's a good thing
I came over, then.
93
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,629
Hey, Roseanne,
put these on.
94
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,666
I'm gonna take our picture
and we'll look just like
thelma and louise.
95
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:43,902
Yeah.
People do say I look
just like geena davis.
96
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,605
And you look
just like harvey keitel.
97
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,021
My boy.
98
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:07,326
- here you are.
- I think you forgot this.
99
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,229
Oh, I forgot the bag
with all my stuff in it.
100
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,830
All right, i'll tie it
to the back of the car
101
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:13,666
And we'll drag it
along behind us.
102
00:07:15,301 --> 00:07:18,470
Do you guys think
you can give me a ride?
103
00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,774
- i'm kinda stranded.
- stranded, huh?
104
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,977
- that's awful.
- excuse us, young woman.
105
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,815
- come on, Jackie.
- no no.
106
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:31,383
Don't even think
about it.
107
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:32,785
We have
to go home.
108
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,988
Look at her, Jackie.
She looks so alone.
109
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,724
She looks
like an escapee.
110
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,262
- we can't just leave her here.
- of course we can.
111
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,965
So, where are you
heading, miss?
112
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:50,135
My name is garland.
I'm going to glenview.
113
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,339
Glenview-- that's like
an hour out of our way.
114
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,274
Sorry.
Good luck.
115
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,311
Come on, Jackie,
we're gonna take her
with us.
116
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,081
Just to be safe,
go on and pat her down.
117
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,749
All right.
118
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,552
Uh, missy...
119
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,489
If you're gonna
be traveling with us,
120
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,825
Just to be safe,
you know, i'm gonna
have to...
121
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,127
Give you
a little frisk.
122
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:18,163
It's okay,
she used to be
a cop.
123
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,233
At least that's what
she told me when she
did it to me.
124
00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:24,770
No problem.
125
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,844
She's clean.
126
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,092
I set the thermostat
on 70, I come back
a few minutes later,
127
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,595
Becky's got
it turned up to 78.
128
00:08:49,596 --> 00:08:53,032
You rig the thermostat
so that when it says 78,
129
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,567
It's really 70.
130
00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:59,104
It's funny.
I used to be happy
when my team was winning.
131
00:08:59,105 --> 00:09:01,473
Then she forgets
to pay the bills
for a couple of weeks.
132
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:03,242
I mean, she's the one
who wants to handle
the money,
133
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,377
So you know,
handle it, lady.
134
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,312
( silent )
135
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:16,121
Darlene, come on,
we're not going to see
"showgirls" again,
136
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,456
It's a bad
movie.
137
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:20,092
I know, David,
it's the worst.
138
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:22,561
Everything that
joe eszterhas writes
is his revenge
139
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,697
On some girl
who ignored him
in high school.
140
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,933
I've seen what the guy
looks like. I'm guessing
he's got 1,000 more in him.
141
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,904
But it embarrasses me
when you holler
142
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,840
And throw things
at the screen.
143
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,076
Well, it embarrassed me
when you teared up
144
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,278
At "sleepless in seattle."
145
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,914
Okay, but you
know we can't go back
to the same theater
146
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,582
Where we saw
"basic instinct."
147
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,151
They have our pictures up
in the box office.
148
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,621
Okay, cool.
149
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,957
Tomorrow we'll see
one of those sensitive-
150
00:09:51,958 --> 00:09:54,793
Foreign-little-boy-
with-a-bicycle movies
you like to see.
151
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,297
And i'll bring
a book.
152
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,232
Cool.
153
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,072
I don't believe
them.
154
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,375
They have a fight
and they make up
in a minute.
155
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,377
There's a difference,
Mark.
156
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,480
What, that they're
younger than me
and Becky?
157
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,649
The reason that they
have a fight and then
make up the next minute
158
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,885
Is that they are
not married.
159
00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:22,254
Yeah, but me and Becky
are married,
160
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,057
So how is
that different?
161
00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:31,530
When you're married
for 20 years,
you'll understand.
162
00:10:31,531 --> 00:10:34,033
Why?
You guys have been
married for 20 years.
163
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,609
That's right.
164
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,714
Look...
165
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:51,950
Maybe if I tell you
this it'll make you
feel better.
166
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:55,320
Let me
explain to you
167
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,423
What it's like
to be married
to Mrs. Conner.
168
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,060
We're gonna need
some more beer.
169
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,110
Jackie, you'd get
a better view
170
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:21,246
And it'd probably be
a lot safer if you just had
her ride out there on the hood.
171
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,220
So garland,
tell us about
your band.
172
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,556
It's awesome.
173
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:34,259
See, every member is
a riot girl, like me.
174
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,228
And we call ourselves
the "unit shredders."
175
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:39,098
Unit shredders?
What is unit shredders?
176
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,100
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
177
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:42,534
Oh, that's cute.
178
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:48,607
So you have no idea
what kind of stuff
riot girls
179
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:50,242
Are out there
screaming about?
180
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,078
See, we're about
taking control,
181
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,613
Not trashing
yourself, you know?
182
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,915
Chicks
that rock,
183
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,720
Taking our place
in rock and roll, man--
our band is doing it.
184
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,622
A lot of bands
are doing it, actually.
185
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,991
Have you ever heard
of "red aunts"?
186
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,293
- no.
- "babes in toyland"?
187
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,396
- huh-uh.
- "l-seven"?
188
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:12,798
- huh-uh.
- "bikini kill"?
189
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:15,167
Oh, "bikini kill."
190
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:17,736
Are they back together
again?
191
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,605
Put it in,
let's hear some.
192
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,740
Okay.
193
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,677
( punk music playing )
194
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,720
Good message, huh?
195
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:38,057
It's freedom rock,
man.
196
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,491
Turn it up.
197
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,628
Well, Jackie,
she's got a metal plate
in her head
198
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:45,431
And it amplifies
the sound.
199
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,334
That it does.
Clang-clang, clang-clang.
200
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,737
There's my exit.
201
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:54,740
Oh, we're playing
up at the storage unit,
202
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:56,342
Up the street.
I'd invite you,
203
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,810
But we're sold out.
204
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,547
All six
tickets, huh?
205
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,349
Pretty good,
huh?
206
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,584
Keep on truckin',
jerry.
207
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,123
- keep the tape.
- oh, thanks.
208
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,058
I'm really sorry
about your head, dude.
209
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,129
- see you later.
- yeah.
210
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,302
You know what
she is?
211
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,436
Nervy.
212
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,374
No, Jackie,
you know what she is?
213
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,175
20.
214
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,312
That music is
just noise.
215
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:37,049
It's a bunch of kids
making screeching, loud--
just noise.
216
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:40,185
What happened to music
these days?
217
00:13:40,186 --> 00:13:42,988
Who the hell
are you, tipper gore?
218
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,026
Anyways, look,
these are pretty good lyrics.
219
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,661
Listen--
"don't need you to say
we're cute,
220
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,663
Don't need you to say
we're all right
221
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,198
Don't needyour protection
222
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,901
Don't need no
kiss good night."
223
00:13:55,902 --> 00:13:58,237
At least these girls
are saying something,
you know?
224
00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,105
Not like the music
we grew up with.
225
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:02,741
Remember
"take a letter, maria"?
226
00:14:02,742 --> 00:14:05,411
Oh...
227
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:08,213
I loved that song.
228
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,783
You do not love
that, Jackie.
229
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:12,885
Have you ever
listened to those words?
230
00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:15,988
It's about this guy
and he's screwing
his secretary,
231
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,858
And she still has
to take his stinking
letters to his wife.
232
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,896
She's getting
screwed twice.
233
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:26,198
No, it's about
the guy finds out
234
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,567
That the wife
is cheating on him.
235
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,837
Oh yeah, sure.
Go ahead and take
the guy's side, Jackie.
236
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,307
Okay, what about
uh...
237
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:38,510
"baby, baby,
don't get hooked on me,"
238
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:41,580
Remember that?
He tells her that
he'll use her
239
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:44,049
And then he'll
just set her free.
240
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,852
Use me, i'll set
you on fire, you bastard.
241
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,425
So all of our songs
couldn't have sucked.
242
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,127
What about all those
sweet guys,
243
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:58,330
Like donovan
and jim croce
and the beatles?
244
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,265
Yeah, the beatles
were good.
245
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:04,336
Remember they had that song,
"run for your life"
though?
246
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,039
Remember that song,
"run for your life,"
the beatles?
247
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,041
It goes,
"he'd rather
see her dead
248
00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:11,777
Than to be
with another man."
249
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:15,114
That's all them
wife beaters need
is an anthem.
250
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,220
- all our music
was guy music.
- yeah.
251
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:24,123
Never did hear
a lot of women
on the radio, you know?
252
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,092
- till janis.
- oh well, thank god
for janis.
253
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:30,796
You know, I also
"learned the truth at 17."
254
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,067
Not janis ian,
you idiot.
255
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,438
Janis joplin.
256
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:45,577
I like that one,
when linda ronstadt
came out with that song
257
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,112
- "different drum."
that was cool,
- yeah.
258
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,549
'cause for once
it says about the girl
leaving the relationship.
259
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,518
You know who was
really tough? Pat benatar.
260
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,286
Yeah.
And joan jett.
261
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,821
- chrissie hynde.
- oh, chrissie, yeah.
262
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,290
Oh, wait wait
wait.
263
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:00,926
I know we have this tape,
patti smith.
264
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,262
- remember? I got it.
- which?
265
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:06,031
( both singing )
� people have the power �
266
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,567
� people have
the power... �
267
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:12,071
Would you look at--
look at that.
268
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:15,541
Look at that idiot trucker
with the naked-woman
mud flaps.
269
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,679
That makes me mad.
I wanna get mud flaps
270
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,116
With a guy with
a great big beer gut
hanging on it.
271
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,085
That's gross.
272
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,588
Jackie, Jackie!
Look at the bumper sticker:
273
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:32,424
Save the whales--
harpoon a fat chick.
274
00:16:36,029 --> 00:16:38,230
Pull up to him,
Jackie!
275
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:42,134
We'll show him
a little "bikini kill."
276
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:44,370
I'm there,
sister.
277
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,572
Hey hey.
278
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:49,708
So what? It's only
the most perfectly-
shaped women for you,
279
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:53,312
You big, hairy,
toothless, sweaty,
cross-eyed hog.
280
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,384
Man:
hey.
281
00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:00,819
Hey, show meyour boobs!
282
00:17:02,856 --> 00:17:05,958
- what's he doing?
- he's flipping
us off back!
283
00:17:05,959 --> 00:17:07,159
Man, he's--
284
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,295
Women rule,
dirtbag!
285
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,699
( squeals )
286
00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:31,116
Crazy--
287
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,720
- man: hey!
- ( squeals )
288
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:40,492
There's a motelat the next exit!
289
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,795
Kiss my fat chick--
290
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,701
If you could get yourfat -- out of the car!
291
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:54,206
Hey stupid,
your lane ends
in 10'.
292
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:57,409
- i'll show you 10 feet! ( screams )
- ( honking )
293
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,879
- ( loud bang )
- oh my god.
294
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,615
Oh my god, he clipped
the utility pole.
295
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,652
What do I--
do we stop and exchange
name and numbers?
296
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,955
This is no time
to try to get a date, Jackie.
Floor it!
297
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:19,098
Damn,
I can't call Dan.
298
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,466
The phone's dead.
299
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,368
I can't believe
what you did.
300
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,269
What
did I do?
301
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:27,873
I had an honest,
intellectual discussion
with a trucker.
302
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:30,909
We made him
veer off the road!
303
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,177
( police sirens )
304
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:34,113
Oh my god,
they found us.
305
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,814
It's the heat,
it's the fuzz,
306
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,483
It's the man.
307
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:40,686
Man, they found us
fast.
308
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,354
Too bad we didn't
call them,
309
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:45,758
Then we'd still have
another 15 minutes to work with.
310
00:18:45,759 --> 00:18:48,394
They're coming over here.
Now let's get our
story straight.
311
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:50,229
Okay, we were
at mcdonald's,
312
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:54,099
You had
the quarter pounder
and cato had the filet o' fish.
313
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,168
( whines )
314
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,641
Is there a problem
here, ladies?
315
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:05,544
Oh, no.
I just had
to pull over to--
316
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,146
- I nurse my baby.
- whoa.
317
00:19:08,782 --> 00:19:12,117
Well, we just got word
that a car that fits
this description
318
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:13,686
Was involved
in an incident
with a big rig.
319
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,355
It seems that
someone made an
obscene gesture
320
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,023
To the driver,
causing him to veer
off the road
321
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,958
And smash into
a utility pole.
322
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:21,960
Does that
sound familiar?
323
00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:25,330
As someone who
has worn
324
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,799
The steel shield
herself,
325
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:33,772
I can assure you
that there is nothing more
to talk about here,
326
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,307
Is there?
327
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,876
You mean, other
than your involvement
in the incident.
328
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,680
Hey, do we look like
the kind of women
329
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,350
That would
flip off a trucker?
330
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,486
Okay, we do,
but it wasn't us,
I swear.
331
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:51,156
Lucky for you nobody
got hurt, but this is
serious business.
332
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:52,858
Yeah, you're right.
333
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,595
Well, why don't
we discuss it right
after I switch sides here?
334
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:59,765
Okay, well,
it seems that you two
have learned your lesson,
335
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,934
So why don't you just
promise me you'll drive
straight home, okay?
336
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,635
- okay.
- you got it. You got it.
337
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,838
We won't even stop
at the stop signs!
338
00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:09,742
You know,
339
00:20:09,743 --> 00:20:12,911
I admire the way
you cops get up,
340
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,313
Hit those streets
every morning
341
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:17,883
Taking on those
bloodthirsty crazy
maniacs out there.
342
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:21,053
That's nothing
compared to going home
to my wife every night.
343
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,866
Mark, I don't want you
to get the wrong idea.
344
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:36,702
I wouldn't trade
a minute of my time
with Mrs. Conner.
345
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,704
And when you're old
and beaten down,
346
00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:41,707
You'll get to say
the same thing.
347
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:43,876
Yeah, but what keeps
you going? What do you look
forward to?
348
00:20:43,877 --> 00:20:45,978
About once every
20 years or so,
349
00:20:45,979 --> 00:20:47,846
You get to spend
a peaceful hour alone.
350
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,982
I guess i'll give it
another shot with Becky
351
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:51,950
And i'll give you
your hour and all.
352
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,919
Thank a lot,
Mark.
353
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,488
I'll do the same
for you when your
hour comes up.
354
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,975
� hot dogs,
armour hot dogs �
355
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:20,145
� what kind of kids
eat armour hot dogs? �
356
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:23,115
� well, fat kids,
skinny kids, �
357
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,883
� kids who climb
on rocks �
358
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,453
� tough kids,
sissy kids, �
359
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:30,322
� even kids with chicken pox
love hot dogs-- �
360
00:21:32,025 --> 00:21:33,959
I'm back.
361
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,327
So soon?
362
00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:37,262
What do you mean so soon?
It's almost 9:00.
363
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:39,231
Not on the west coast.
Get back out there.
364
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:42,368
So how'd it go
out there?
365
00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:44,903
Well, if the cops
don't show up in the next
half hour,
366
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:46,805
Pretty good.
367
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,240
Look at him.
368
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:50,376
He's sleeping
like a...
369
00:21:50,377 --> 00:21:52,911
Like a baby.
I guess that's where
that comes from.
370
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,082
What went on
around here tonight?
371
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,618
Oh, nothing.
I just had to teach Mark
how to handle Becky.
372
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,388
Handle Becky?
373
00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:04,957
It's not like
she's a sports car, Dan.
374
00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:07,793
Men don't handle
women, okay?
375
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,595
That's one of the things
that's gonna change
around here.
376
00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:13,899
What went on
on the road?
377
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,735
There's a revolution
out there we didn't
even know about.
378
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:20,472
It's about women
taking control,
you know?
379
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,841
It's about being
a riot girl.
380
00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,244
The oil light
went on, didn't it?
381
00:22:25,245 --> 00:22:28,781
No.
A wake-up call
went off and I heard it
382
00:22:28,782 --> 00:22:32,551
Loud and clear.
383
00:22:37,223 --> 00:22:39,591
� I had
a hot dog... �
384
00:22:41,261 --> 00:22:43,395
� an armour
hot dog �
385
00:22:43,396 --> 00:22:47,299
� I wish I woulda ate
my armour hot dog �
386
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:54,440
( theme music playing )
42162
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