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1
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What kind of underpants are these?
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Oh, those?
3
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Those are underpants for the digital age.
4
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These are the cutting edge of modern technology, them.
5
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Cutting edge?
6
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They're just what you need in your undershorts.
7
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These little wonders were invented in the workshop
8
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of one Walton Midgely, inventor extraordinaire.
9
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We had enough trouble selling his inflatable roller skates.
10
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Yeah, but that was only because the water were choppy.
11
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I mean, had it been calm,
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that Mr Ellis would have got right across that canal.
13
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- And being inflatable, they didn't sink, though, did they?
- No.
14
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It's a pity Mr Ellis did.
15
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- Mmm.
- So, what we got this time?
16
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"The world in your shorts"?
17
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Mmm. Connect to the internet.
18
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You're never without a signal.
19
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"Stay connected, cold wash, minimum iron".
20
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And the beauty is, as you're wearing them
21
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and walking about in them,
22
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they charge your battery!
23
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All right, you win.
24
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Wha...? Steady, steady. You'll be getting here before you've got up.
25
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I admit to a swagger. I'm on a roll.
26
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You could soon become obnoxious.
27
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Mother used to say that.
28
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- Mother knows best.
- You think?
29
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You should have seen who she picked for my old man.
30
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That's the nature of fathers, to be weird, don't you think?
31
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- What brings you in this early?
- I'm getting on better with that Madge.
32
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I thought every time she sees you she goes "Ooooh..."
33
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Not any more. I've got her down to,
34
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"Ooh, you could do with losing some weight."
35
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So, what have you got for losing weight?
36
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Ah-ha. I've got the very idea.
37
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It's expensive, but you'll never regret it.
38
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How expensive?
39
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Oh, worse than that.
40
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:21,680
Well, look, if you want to be a greyhound, it's going to cost.
41
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Couldn't we start with labrador?
42
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Right. I've done the orders.
43
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You know what we've been doing wrong in this business?
44
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Overcharging?
45
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Apart from that. No.
46
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We've been neglecting services.
47
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You see, any competent business supplies not only goods,
48
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but services.
49
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Name one service we could offer.
50
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I'm not going out cleaning.
51
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Don't be ridiculous. Nobody's asked you to.
52
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Mind you, it isn't a bad idea.
53
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:10,120
No, I'm thinking more of lifestyle guidance.
54
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Like personal training.
55
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Weight loss. Yes, ah-ha. Mm-hm.
56
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Everybody knows you help people lose weight by relieving them
57
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of their money.
58
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Leave that alone.
59
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Forget it.
60
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The thing we ought to do, if you want to modernise this business,
61
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right, is offer a decent vegetarian section.
62
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Oh, don't tell me you're still pining after that loopy bird,
63
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- are you?
- She's gorgeous.
64
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She's a librarian. How loopy is that?
65
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She stands on street corners waving placards.
66
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Yes, on behalf of animals.
67
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She's very fond of animals.
68
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Not on her plate.
69
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,200
Ey up, Leroy, here they come,
70
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fresh from last night's romantic evening with their wives.
71
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:11,240
- Did the Earth move, fellas?
- Not very far, by the look of it.
72
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,920
We just came in to tell you that romantic package you sold us
73
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- was a flop.
- You told us that romantic package would work.
74
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So, we tried it.
75
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Champagne, chocolates, soft music.
76
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Near-lethal amounts of aftershave.
77
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Well, credit where it's due,
78
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you smell delicious.
79
00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,960
Are you saying that they said no to your gifts?
80
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Not to the gifts. I've never seen chocolate disappear so fast.
81
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Or champagne.
82
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I mean, the wife can shift some bubbles when she's roused.
83
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And when I say roused, I'm speaking optimistically.
84
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,920
But what about soft lighting, eh? Sweet music?
85
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Didn't you keep the lights down low?
86
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:59,040
So low, I trod on her bare foot, didn't I?
87
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At least you made contact with something bare.
88
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,200
This looks like a case for plan B.
89
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We can't afford it.
90
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,960
- You don't know what it is yet.
- We're just guessing.
- All right, all right.
91
00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:14,360
Well, you'll be sorry because, you see,
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83% of people who use this product
93
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reported an increase in domestic...
94
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..connectivity.
95
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:38,320
Stop trying to beat the Joneses. They're waving a white flat.
96
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:42,280
It's her. She says her life needs a change.
97
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,160
What, and painting one room's going to do that?
98
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,720
The difficulty I find in life is trying to get his old jumper
99
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,120
off him for the wash.
100
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Mine was the same.
101
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They'd get a favourite, and you'd think it was for life.
102
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,760
I said, "Eric, it's got gravy on it." He says...
103
00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,800
AS ERIC: "That's not gravy, it's rust.
104
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:06,800
"The corrosion of our once-playful relationship."
105
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That's what they're built for - playtime.
106
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Mine was always playing away.
107
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There were very few home fixtures.
108
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I'm surprised you stuck it for so long.
109
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No, not really.
110
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You were never very bright.
111
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Well, she's happier than you.
112
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Then again, so is everybody.
113
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Well, I find that being miserable works.
114
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You're not inclined to spend as much as when you're happy.
115
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I know I had a bad marriage, but I was never without hope.
116
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He was a heavy smoker.
117
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Rhythm! Find your rhythm.
118
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Trust me, I'm your personal trainer.
119
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Come on, get a move on, cos Mavis has to get back to decorating.
120
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,560
- I'm seeing spots.
- Yes, that's good, spots are good, yes.
121
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Are they good?
122
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Yes. You've got spots that are good.
123
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You never said.
124
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- Which spots?
- Well, I'd like to be accurate about this.
125
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,400
Can we arrange a site meeting?
126
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,280
I think I'm dying!
127
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Ah, yes, you're feeling the burn. That's good.
128
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Dying is good, yes.
129
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Just one moment, madam, please. There.
130
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Is he dead?
131
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,680
No, no, it's just the excitement of our special offers.
132
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He's lying, I'm dead.
133
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Oh!
134
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HE CHUCKLES
135
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Oh, taking the old microwave for a walk, are we?
136
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My wife bought this thing here yesterday.
137
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,840
- Lord knows why.
- Oh, yes.
138
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One of our occasional technological bargains, this.
139
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,040
- It's lethal.
- Oh.
140
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I'm sorry she's dead,
141
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but you see, we can't do anything about things that happen
142
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off the premises.
143
00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,840
- She's not dead!
- Oh.
144
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,160
But that's no thanks to you.
145
00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,840
This thing is dangerous.
146
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:04,160
Well, it can't be that dangerous, you just walked in with it.
147
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It's not switched on.
148
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Well, nobody is round here, this is a cultural cul-de-sac, this.
149
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,880
But then again, that's the way we prefer it.
150
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You sold her a dangerous item.
151
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It flashes and spits.
152
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:27,320
And the turntable goes round and round in a blur of speed.
153
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,160
Well, what's the matter? Don't you like fast food?
154
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I demand my money back.
155
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,760
Now look what you've done.
156
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:43,160
Will you take that damn thing away? They're laughing at me.
157
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- It's embarrassing.
- I wondered if we could meet
158
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just once before I have to go and train as an astronaut.
159
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You're not listening.
160
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If you give me your number, I'll call you from Mars.
161
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Question...
162
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,440
What does your mother look like?
163
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Why would that be any business of yours?
164
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I want to know how you're going to age.
165
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It's all right now, kidding people you're gorgeous,
166
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but what's down the line?
167
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Nothing for you.
168
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,320
I do impressions.
169
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,600
Maintain my own bicycle.
170
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:19,200
You think Shakespeare was a vegetarian?
171
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,840
Jane Austen used to send out for pizza.
172
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Pepperoni.
173
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,640
Oh, there he is, the jewel in Madge's crown.
174
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,360
Well, have you recovered?
175
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- I'm hungry.
- That sounds like a yes.
176
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- You nearly killed me out there.
- But you're looking better for it.
177
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I thought I were dead.
178
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:54,640
I get the same reaction whenever I'm on the phone to a national company.
179
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,040
- You ready for a snack?
- I am.
180
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- That much exercise leaves a hole that needs filling.
- Right.
181
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OK, alert your taste buds.
182
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This will be ready in 30 seconds.
183
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,400
Oh, make it 29.
184
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29, sir. All right. There we go.
185
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Thank you.
186
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,560
Ey up, it's getting nasty with me pasty.
187
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:27,960
No, no. It's what we call in the trade as enhancing the flavour.
188
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,760
MICROWAVE DINGS There, right.
189
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Oh, ah, oh, ah, eh, oh!
190
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Hey! Oh, ah, oh!
191
00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,520
Ahh! Ahhh! Ahh!
192
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It's only me!
193
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Oh, there you are.
194
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,080
Did you miss me?
195
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- I haven't had time.
- I like that in a man.
196
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,320
Nothing good ever came from wearing your heart on your sleeve.
197
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I think mine's somewhere under my sock.
198
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,680
Oh, stamping again.
199
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:19,600
- You'll wear your eyes out.
- It's called philately.
200
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,520
Philately will get you nowhere!
201
00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:23,760
That's a joke.
202
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,040
Well, you might show some reaction.
203
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,760
The only reaction you provoke is fear.
204
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,040
Oh, bless you for that.
205
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:36,360
That was the basis for all my three previous marriages.
206
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:42,360
Boredom time is over. Now, what shall we do?
207
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,600
Oh. Oh, yes.
208
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,640
Now, that is a very good decision you've just made.
209
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,800
I've made?
210
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,920
Yes, why not? I don't expect you to be a doormat.
211
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Later on, possibly,
212
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,520
but not during this intensely physical courtship period.
213
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,560
When have we been intensely physical? I must have missed it.
214
00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:04,280
Well, we haven't. And I appreciate your iron self control.
215
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,000
Less of a struggle than you might think.
216
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,120
No, Mr Newbold, I know the battle it must have been.
217
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:11,800
But courage, Mr Newbold -
218
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soon I will let you loose to do your will on me.
219
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,440
Why do you seek my company when you dislike me?
220
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,920
Dislike? This is not dislike, Mr Newbold.
221
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This is care.
222
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,960
I am your rock, your security...
223
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,960
..your fiancee.
224
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,080
- But I've never bought you a ring.
- Oh, bless you for remembering.
225
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,400
We'll get one later in the week.
226
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,880
Oh, I see your friends are here.
227
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,840
It's nice to have friends...
228
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,400
- ..except possibly those two.
- What's wrong with those two?
- Oh, nothing.
229
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,040
And I'm sure they'll be perfectly all right without you
230
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now that you're committed to me.
231
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I can't just drop my friends.
232
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No, of course not, not straight away.
233
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- Kiss me first.
- What? Kiss?
234
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,880
Yes, it's that thing where you pucker up your lips.
235
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Yes, I know what it is.
236
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,920
Yes, well, I sometimes wonder.
237
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I'm asking for a courtesy, that's all. It sends a signal.
238
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A peck on the cheek will do.
239
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,080
I don't want hands or tongues where they shouldn't be.
240
00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:32,600
Did you see that? He has this tendency to maul me.
241
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,960
Ooh. Is it me or is it hot in here?
242
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:42,720
I like this kind.
243
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,040
But then I like this sort as well.
244
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:49,240
Well, why don't you take them both?
245
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:52,680
That's brilliant! I'll take both.
246
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:57,440
By the way, where's this hotspot you're advertising?
247
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,240
Don't ask.
248
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,640
PHONE RINGS Excuse me.
249
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,280
Hello, Arkwright.
250
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,760
PHONE CONTINUES TO RING Hello?
251
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,360
Oh, that's funny, there's nobody there.
252
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,600
PHONE CONTINUES TO RING
253
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:21,560
Hadn't you better answer it?
254
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,360
Well, it's supposed to be a hotspot.
255
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,600
It's not supposed to perform as a phone.
256
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,960
RINGING STOPS
257
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,800
I hope it wasn't urgent.
258
00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,400
Probably somebody just trying to sell me some double glazing.
259
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,600
- Why are you buying her a ring?
- I have no idea.
260
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:43,040
I'd no input into that decision.
261
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:45,040
There must be a solution.
262
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,560
Believe me, I thought about it...
263
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,040
..but my garden's not big enough.
264
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,120
And she'll spoil my geraniums.
265
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:01,720
Whoa. I think something's spoiling my geraniums.
266
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,760
Listen to me.
267
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,560
This is Eric the Peacemaker talking,
268
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,120
with a suggestion less drastic.
269
00:17:09,120 --> 00:17:11,520
Mrs Featherstone has attached herself to me
270
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,760
- by a grip which is impervious to less drastic.
- And do you know why?
271
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:20,400
- I must have sinned heavily in some previous life.
- You're lucky.
272
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,360
We're finding it increasingly difficult getting much sinning
273
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,600
going in this life.
274
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,480
Why do you think she's attracted to you?
275
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,400
She hates men.
276
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,200
I'm a human sacrifice.
277
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:35,360
No, you are a formal dresser.
278
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:38,440
Collar, tie, polished shoes.
279
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,040
She loves all that.
280
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,320
Yeah, yeah, he's right. You want to go a bit down-market.
281
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,360
PHONE RINGS
282
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,600
- ALL:
- It's not mine.
283
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,640
RINGING CONTINUES
284
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,880
How's your hotspot?
285
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,160
Warm. I fear for my future offspring.
286
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,800
It's very weird hearing it talking to you.
287
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,840
Nevertheless, you both look cheerier than when last seen.
288
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,320
It's the warm glow you get from doing a good deed.
289
00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:35,120
- Helping your fellow man.
- Of whom are we speaking?
290
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,160
Old Newbold.
291
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,760
We're trying to get him out of the clutches of Mrs Featherstone.
292
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,480
Oh, now, hold on.
293
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,960
Do you think that's a good idea? Because, you see,
294
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,840
I think they make a perfect team.
295
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:47,880
She's been reducing him to a grub.
296
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,880
You see a grub,
297
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,720
I see an emerging butterfly.
298
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,040
Mr Newbold?!
299
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:11,800
What have you done to him? Get inside the shop.
300
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:13,720
Go on, get in, quick.
301
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,840
You look like a map of the London Underground.
302
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,200
It washes off.
303
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,320
What do you think you look like?
304
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,640
Very unappealing to Mrs Featherstone.
305
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,800
That's where you're wrong.
306
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,240
Didn't she ever tell you what her favourite movies was?
307
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,240
Well, I don't see Mrs Featherstone at the movies.
308
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,440
Maybe a Witches' Sabbath.
309
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,920
No, it was A Streetcar Named Desire.
310
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,520
She fell head-over-underwear for Marlon Brando...
311
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,360
..looking exactly like you.
312
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,840
Well, I don't look like Marlon Brando.
313
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,680
Now, she'll never let you go.
314
00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:00,160
Stay there. Er, Leroy? Come here?
315
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:06,960
- Mr Newbold?
- But who does he remind you of?
316
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:15,840
MUMBLED AND INDISTINCT: Marlon Brando.
317
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,160
Arlon Grango.
318
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,680
WHISPERS: Marlon Brando!
319
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,480
Oh, yeah. Marlon Brando.
320
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,680
There's tea in the pot.
321
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,760
You do look after me logistically, I'll give you that.
322
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,240
You still think your mother makes better Yorkshire puddings than me.
323
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,760
- Only marginally.
- Wrong answer.
324
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,680
You undervalue me, Kath.
325
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,720
You think I'm just an Eric.
326
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,680
Your Eric. Part of the furniture.
327
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,240
Oh. Oh, there's more, is there?
328
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,520
Sorry, have I been missing something?
329
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,360
I am at the cutting edge of technology.
330
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:06,000
I am permanently connected to the internet.
331
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,840
I am a walking hotspot.
332
00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,920
PHONE RINGS
333
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,400
RINGING CONTINUES
334
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:26,720
I knew that's where most men's ideas come from.
335
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,840
It's just teething troubles. The phone's supposed to take the call.
336
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,600
We'll get it sorted.
337
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,720
Eric, your crotch is ringing.
338
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,560
Do you want me to leave the room so you can talk to it?
339
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,560
There's no need to be sarcastic.
340
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,320
RINGING CONTINUES
341
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,160
Hello?
342
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:49,880
RINGING CONTINUES
343
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,760
We'll keep him in here till Merle comes.
344
00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:03,120
Merle? You can't throw him to Merle.
345
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:07,440
Desperate times calls for desperate measures.
346
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,720
I know, but... Merle?
347
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,880
She'll be coming here to pick up her order -
348
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,640
the order that you refused to deliver.
349
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,760
Wait, I am going nowhere near Merle.
350
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,160
You should be ashamed of even thinking about sending me.
351
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,760
She can't eat you.
352
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,200
She ate Mr Pendlebury.
353
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,800
That's different, he was left-handed.
354
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,760
Are you sure I look like Marlon Brando?
355
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,520
Well, there are three women outside the front of the shop
356
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,080
- waiting for your autograph.
- Really?
357
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:42,120
Just keep him here. I'll let you know when Merle comes.
358
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:54,080
If you don't want him straying, you best keep him at home.
359
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:58,160
Anyways, how can you be so sure I've been with him?
360
00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,480
Am I meant to remember everybody?
361
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:05,800
If you want confirmation, you better send me a picture.
362
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,720
What are you smiling at?
363
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,440
Nothing, just... You know, grocer's welcome.
364
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:17,360
- We never got it together, did we?
- No.
365
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:20,800
So, what are you doing to fill your empty nights?
366
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,200
Well, not as much as you, obviously.
367
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,520
HE COUGHS/KNOCKS ON DOOR Sorry, sorry.
368
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,120
- Have you got my order ready?
- Oh, yes, I have.
369
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,880
It's down here behind the counter.
370
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,120
I've heard all sorts goes off behind that counter.
371
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,680
No, that's just a rumour put about by Tesco.
372
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,560
How are you today, Merle?
373
00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:51,360
Available for parties.
374
00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:54,400
And who might this tasty morsel be, then?
375
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:59,440
Well, this Marlon Brando lookalike goes by the name of...
376
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,960
..Pitbull.
377
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,920
That's not strictly true.
378
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,400
Don't fight it. Live up to it.
379
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:12,400
Ohhh! These high heels make your ankles ache, don't they?
380
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,520
I don't know, I've never worn high heels.
381
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,760
Merle, leave him! He's shy.
382
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,440
He doesn't look shy to me.
383
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:22,600
He looks combat ready!
384
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,120
Leroy! Give Merle a hand home with this box.
385
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:29,520
Nay, don't be giving a lad a man's job!
386
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,400
Here. Give a lady a hand.
387
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,560
There'll be refreshments at the end of it.
388
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,160
Come along, Pitbull.
389
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,560
Ooh, you've kept your figure.
390
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,200
I bet you didn't know you were keeping it for me.
391
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,160
GRANVILLE CHUCKLES
392
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,400
- You can't let her just walk off with him!
- Oh, it'll be all right,
393
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,120
just for a while. It'll further his education.
394
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:58,320
- He'll never be the same.
- Don't worry, I'll send in a replacement.
395
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,280
Where are you going to find someone as stupid,
396
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,800
reckless or as brave as that?
397
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,640
SHOP BELL RINGS
398
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,240
HE BELCHES
399
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,680
What have you got for a midday snack?
400
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,400
You'd be surprised.
401
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,360
GEARS CRUNCH
402
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,960
If it's just a dripping tap, how come it's an emergency?
403
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,880
Oh, I think you'll find it is an emergency.
404
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,240
- And what am I doing here?
- Hm?
- I know you've told me, but I've forgotten.
405
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,600
Well, I need you here to witness Gastric's skills,
406
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,680
so that you can go home and tell Madge
407
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,760
how good he is with the ladies. Hm?
408
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,080
- Is Mavis coming in with me?
- No!
409
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:51,600
Er, I mean, no, she'll stay here and witness it from here.
410
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,240
Shouldn't take too long.
411
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,840
HE CHUCKLES
412
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,960
I've come cos you've got a drip.
413
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:13,320
You're not kidding. I hope you've got more going for you.
414
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:22,560
You see how attractive he is to women? Now you can tell your Madge.
415
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,120
Oh. 'Ey!
416
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:38,360
You see? There are bigger perils than Mrs Featherstone.
417
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:41,080
I never realised there was so much meat about.
418
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,840
- I can understand people going vegetarian.
- Oh, aye.
419
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,040
- Do you think we ought to leave Gastric?
- Yes, leave him.
420
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,760
Let's get away from here.
421
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,360
Doesn't look like a bad back to me!
422
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,240
- Where to?
- Anywhere!
423
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,280
HE LAUGHS Right!
424
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:18,960
That Merle's a pearl.
425
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,200
I bet we don't see Pitbull any more.
426
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:33,400
I thought Gastric was moving BETTER when he fled from Merle's place.
427
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,040
Just shows, my training's paying off.
428
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,960
PHONE RINGS
429
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,400
Oh, dear! I bet it's a wrong number.
430
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,560
It's really no place for strangers.
32698
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