All language subtitles for Nurse.Betty.2000.WEBRip.x264-ION10

Sponge.
A little quicker.

Vitals stable and holding.

Close her up, will you?

[ Indistinct Announcement
Over PA ]

David?

There has been a train crash
outside Santa Barbara.

They're flying
an aortal trauma here now.

How can I ask you this,
David?

[ Sighs ]

I can do it, Blake.

[ Woman ]
Is he crazy, Jasmine?

He's been on his feet
for 14 hours.

Chloe, it's been this way
since Leslie died.

Losing himself
in his work, poor thing.

This is getting
a little reckless,
don't you think?

I don't think
he has a choice.

Hang on a second, Jasmine.
It's not like he has to do it.

Well, who else
at Loma Vista
can do it?

Who else can do
what David can do?
Try Lonnie Walsh--

and he wouldn't expect
to be knighted for it.

Blake, I can handle
that transplant.

We need somebody
with the right kind
of experience, Lonnie.

Even if he's falling asleep
on his feet?

It's a complicated
procedure, Lonnie.

Why don't you observe?
Excuse me, miss.

...fresh out
of medical school.
No, you're not, Lonnie.

You're a good doctor,
but you're not David Ravell.

Miss?

Miss?

[ Woman #2 ] He will be
held personally responsible...

should anything go wrong
during this operation.

[ TV Continues,
Indistinct ]

You see that?

[ Woman #2 ]
...is not up to his usual
Olympian heights...

of surgical skill.

He complained
of dizziness this morning.
That sort of thing.

- Do you understand?
- Do you want to hear
what I have in mind...

for the famous
Dr. David Ravell?

[ TV Announcer ]
A Reason to Love will
continue after these messages.

Skim, right?

Half a pack?

You know,
that's really fatty.

[ Whispering ]
Our cook uses junk.

You sure you wouldn't
rather try a turkey burger?

You sure you want a tip
when I'm done?

You're right.
It's your body.

Right?
That's right.
Get off it.

- Wesley!
- Oh, that's all right.

I've told him
the same thing, ma'am.

Thanks for the suggestion.

No problem.

Hi, guys.
Here you go.

- Hello, Betty.
- Hi, Roy.

- You're looking good.
- [ Betty ]
You're sweet.

Hey, you know, I really
enjoyed your editorial
this morning.

Well, thank you.
I appreciate it.

I was really trying
to get the whole history...

of the Episcopalian Church.
Oh, it was great.

Really, it just
put the whole idea...

of the church bake sale
in perspective.

Some people like
to read more than
just the classifieds.

So, Sheriff,
how is everything?

You know, the usual--

keeping the world safe.

- I meant your food.
- [ Laughing ]

Hmm!

[ Whispering ]
She's coming. She's coming.

- [ Together ]
Surprise!
- Oh!

Happy birthday!

Where'd you get it?
That's so embarrassing.

- On the goddamn Internet,
where else?

- Come on, pose with him,
Betty.

Okay.
[ Laughs ]

A little something
for those nursing classes
you been wanting to take.

But keep putting off,
thanks to a certain husband
we won't mention.

- Oh, you guys, I can't.
- Take it.

I can't.
Betty.

[ Whispering ]
Thanks, you guys.

[ Man ]
You've reached Sizemore
Motors,

home of the best selection of
used cars in the Big
Springs-Fair Oaks area.

We can't come to the phone
right now,

'cause we're out making a
sale, so leave us a message.
[ Springs Creaking ]

Better yet, come on down and
steal one of these beauties
right out from under us.

Coffee's always on.
[ Machine Beeps ]
[ Moaning ]

[ Betty's Voice ]
Hi, Del. It's me.
I guess you're busy,

but I wanted to know
if I could take one
of the new Buicks tonight.

[ Groans ]
[ Moans, Groans ]

[ Sharp Groan ]

So call me, um--
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, uh, hi.
Hang on a second
there, baby.

You're there.
What do you need one
of the new Buicks for?

You sound out of breath.

[ Del ]
I ran back in
to get the phone.

Oh, well, um--
[ Whispering ]
Joyce. Joyce.

Sue Ann is taking me out,

and, uh, I just thought
it might me nice...

to go in a new car.

- What was that?
- Nothing.
You know, it's busy here.

Well--
You don't need a LeSabre
to go out with Sue Ann.

- I don't need one, but--
- Take the blue Corsica.

Well, once he dumps her,
we will. Right.
[ Door Opening ]

Oh. Hold on a second.

He's out pricing banners,
but I don't expect him back.
Oh.

Banners?
You know,
flags and shit.

For a livelier look,
he said.

Oh.

Oh! It's a shame
about the LeSabres.
They're a real sweet ride.

Yeah.

How are things
at the Tip Top?

Oh, they're fine.

Yeah, fine.

You, uh--
You ever miss it?

You... must be kiddin'.

Oh. Yeah.
[ Laughs ]

Okay.

Hi. Yeah.
Yeah, mm-hmm.

[ Whispering ]
That's okay.

That's what I said.
That's what I was
talking--

Yeah, I was talking
about that.

Anyway, so I was thinking
Easter, 'cause...

I just fucking
love pastels.

Hi.
Did you watch it yet?
Hi.

I sure did.
If that man got
any better looking,

it would be a crime
of some sort.

I know.

Okay, you ready?
I've got a surprise
for tonight.

We're going to the Starlight
in style.

Oh, Betty.
Okay, I'll give you
a hint.

You squint your eyes
and it looks just like
a Jaguar.

I am so sorry.
I was going to call you.

Larry's got a lodge meeting.
There's no way I can
get a sitter this fast.

I feel awful.
That's okay.

Maybe next week we can
go bowling or--
Yeah.

That would be great.
Yeah.

That'd be great.

Well, thanks.

Okay, well,
have a happy birthday.

Okay?
Have a good time.

I'd better...
go start dinner.

Okay, here we go.

Mm-hmm.

You sure you don't
want any salad?

No, I don't want
any salad.
Okay.

Okay.
What was all that shit
on the phone...

about the Buicks?
Here you go.
I told you.

Sue Ann was going
to take me out, but--

What, she's
not comfortable
in a Corsica?

It's got air.
It's got leather.

Actually, I'm glad
you're going out tonight.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah. I got something
going on.

Some serious clients--
with real potential.

Oh.

So, um,

who are these clients?

Couple of guys in
from out of town.

They want to see
the new LeSabres.

New LeSabres?

Jesus Christ.
Look at these guys.

Who are they fuckin'?

You know these actors
are mainly models--
which are mainly faggots.

- Oh?
- [ Scoffs ]

And the rest
are assholes.

Know what bugs me most
about those soaps?

- Hmm?
- It's people with no lives...

[ Together ]
Watching other people's
fake lives.

Yeah, well,

nothin' like watching
the tenpins fall, huh?

Hey, that's a skill.

They're trying
to get that
in the Olympic games.

All right.
I'm gonna go out.
Clean this shit up.

I told him my car's
in the shop.

- He said he'd be happy to
give me a ride home tomorrow.
- You're beautiful.

[ Chloe ]
Tell me something
I don't know.

[ Lonnie ]
I've got some special plans
for you and I--

things coming up
in the near future
I think you'll like.

Hmm. Mm-hmm.

[ Car Approaching ]

All I'm saying is,
their offense sucks.

You can have the best
damn running backs
in the world,

but somebody's
still gotta block for them.
You're 100% right there.

I told my wife to clean
this shit up before
she went out.

Let's have some music.

* [ Blues-Jazz ]
You guys like music?

[ David ]
...to see how fast
this beauty will go, though.

I guess somehow
that speed helps me
forget the past.

Listen, David.

I know I've said it before,
but I want to tell
you again...

how sorry I am
about your wife.

- Well, we should probably--
- Let's not go.

Not yet.

You got a fine one
right here.

Your wife
is very attractive, Del.

- Have I seen her before?
- If you ate at the Tip Top,
you did.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah-- the coffee.

Yeah. Betty pours
a mean cup.

Let's sit in here.

[ Chloe ]
When Skipper died,
it hurt so bad...

I just wanted
the world to go away.

To a successful transaction.

[ Chloe ]
We are where
we're supposed to be.

And if you feel something...

for someone, you should--

[ Material Ripping ]
Please!

It's not that I don't
find you attractive.

I'm just not ready.

No, he's not ready.

Nice place you got here, Del.
Real comfortable.

Sweet little town,
Fair Oaks.

Do you like it?
What, are you
kidding me?

- It's a small town, man.
- What do you mean, Del?

- Just a bunch of dumb fucks.
- Really?

You better believe it.

Could you give us
an example?

Of what?

I'm asking for an example
of one of these dumb fucks
being a dumb fuck.

- I don't follow.
- You're not a dumb fuck,
are you, Del?

- No.
- So, give me an example...

of a stupid person
doing a stupid thing.

Not being stupid yourself,
you're equipped to know.

- Right?
- Are we gonna get down
to business here or not?

Just give me
one example.

- [ Inaudible ]
- Okay.

Okay.

Burger King opens up.
[ Laughs ]

These assholes get excited
and start lining up...

like they've never
seen one before--

Like it's some kind
of five-star restaurant.

- Five stars?
- [ Laughing ]
Yeah.

How about it, Wesley?

- That sound stupid to you?
- No, that's ignorant.

They just don't
know any better.
So, Del,

- maybe you could give us
another example.
- This is bullshit.

Can we get down
to business here, please?
Jesus Christ!

- He's waiting.
- Okay, okay, okay.

- I don't know.
"Injuns" are stupid.
- [ Scoffs ]

- "Injuns"?
- Del, did you
just say "Injuns"?

Indians, Injuns, whatever.

I mean, they're always
getting drunk and doing
stupid shit.

- Like what?
- Puking on the sidewalk--
Stupid shit!

Let's see.
Around here,
that would be Kiowa,

Kickapoo and Osage.

Am I right about that?

- I don't know.
- You don't know?

Del,

my idea of stupid's
different from yours,

so here's how
this is going to work.

Take your socks off.

- [ Whimpering ]
- [ Sobbing ]

Hey, come on.

I'm sorry.
It's my fault.

I thought you felt
something for me.

Chloe,
you're wonderful.

You are.

I just know that there's
something really special
out there for me.

I don't know what it is
or who it is.

I just know that since
Leslie died, I've had
this feeling.

Now, Del, I'm gonna tell you
what stupid is.
[ Whimpering ]

Stupid is taking what
doesn't belong to you.

- Isn't that right, Wesley?
- That's right.

Stupid is trying to sell it
to people who are,

by their very nature,
untrustworthy.

- That is so right.
- Stupid, Del, is calling
people in Kansas City...

who are affiliated
with the rightful owners
of the thing you stole...

and trying to sell it
to them.

Now, that's really stupid.

You know, Del,

150 years ago,
that remark you made...

about the Native Americans
would have gotten you
scalped.

Right here
where your house is.

- You would have been scalped.
- Hell of a way to die.

Nah, Wesley,
it wasn't always fatal.

We could scalp old Del
right now,

and he'd be plenty alive
to tell us what it feels like.

All you have to do is,
take a knife and--
Del.

- Come on, now.
We're just talking here.
- [ Del Whimpering ]

Come on. Just take a knife,
and you make...

a mark across the front
of the forehead,

grab a handful of hair
and cut as you pull.

It's amazing how easily
the scalp comes off.

A mark, huh?

It's okay, David.
I mean, what do I know?
Shh.

A woman gets in your car,
you take her for a ride
in the woods--

- Wait a minute.
This was your idea.

- Who's driving the car,
David?

- What?
- Does it really matter...

- who said what?
- Of course it matters.

Now I want to know
the particulars
of your wrongdoing.

I want to know how you got
what you've stolen,

- and, of course,
where it is now.
- [ Muffled Speech ]

[ Gasping ]
It's in the Buick.

But I swear to God,
I didn't touch it.
I swear to God!

All right then.
[ Sobbing ]
Don't kill me!

I don't want you
to kill me!

Consider yourself lucky, Del.

Luckier than those Injuns
you've got such contempt for.

If anybody got a raw deal,
it was the American Indian.

The country has a black mark
on its soul for what
happened to them.

I'm glad they got
those casinos.

David, I wish I had
good news for you.

[ Del Groaning ]
I'll come right to the point.

Chloe Jensen has filed charges
of sexual assault against you.

[ Muffled Screaming ]

[ Both Screaming ]

Fucking Christ, Wesley!

Are you out
of your fucking mind?

What the fuck is wrong
with you?

What the fuck
is your problem?

You told me to do it!
That was to get him
to talk, you--

Get rid
of that fucking thing.
Get rid of it!

[ David ]
Then, I can forget.

You ever feel like something
really special was about
to happen to you, Jasmine?

Fucking great, Wesley!

Now we don't know where
the stuff is.

- [ Wesley ] Well, he said
it's in the Buick.
- Which fucking Buick?

Why'd you shoot him?

I had to shoot him,
Wesley.

It was the only
decent thing to do--
after you scalped him!

[ Echoing ]
I just know that there's
something really special--

- ...really special
out there for me.
- Very unprofessional, Wesley!

I don't know what it is
or who it is.

I just know
that since Leslie died,
I've had this feeling.

I just know that there's
something really special...

out there for me.

I don't know what it is.
I just know that since
Leslie died,

I've had this feeling.

Betty!

[ Singsong Voice ]
Betty.

[ Sue Ann Screams ]

[ Men Talking ]
[ Police Radio Chatter ]

Hey, Betty.
Hi.

Are you okay?
I'm great.

I was kind of wondering...

if I might be able
to ask some questions
about what happened.

Well, I saw the whole thing.
It was disgusting.

Really?
Did you see who did it?
Mm-hmm.

You did? Who was it?

It was Chloe.

You guys want to try
not stepping directly
in the evidence, please?

Roy Ostrey!

You and your goddamn
police scanner.

I leave here
for ten minutes--

Betty, I'm sorry
about this.

Oh, it's no problem.

Well, bye, Roy.

Nice to see you, Sheriff.

Thanks for stopping by.

Where the hell
is she going?

[ Wesley ]
I still don't understand how
you knew Del wasn't lying.

I saw his soul, Wesley.

The man was face-to-face
with his god.

Nobody lies
in that situation.

Your little Geronimo act
rattled me,

and I abandoned
my instincts.

Never abandon
your instincts.
I didn't.

You gave me a look.
What fuckin' look?

You only got one look.
You gave me this look.

I thought you were done
so I offed him.

Well, I wasn't done.
I was just tired
of hearing him whine.

And you didn't
off anybody, buddy.
You scalped him.

Jesus, I almost puked.
Did I tell you that?

Then why'd you tell me
the fucking Indian story?

What the hell
does that mean, Wesley?

If I told you a Ty Cobb story,
would you have taken
a baseball bat...

and beaten him to death?
You--

Goddamn!

Nothin' there.
Let's go.

- You gonna just leave
the cars like this?
- Yeah, why not?

It'll confuse 'em.

Gotta do something,
now that you've fucked it up.

I didn't fuck nothin' up.
I was just trying to make
a statement.

Trying to make
a statement.

Let me tell you something.

In this business,
you don't put food
on the table...

unless the phone rings.

The people who
get the calls are good--
not flashy, good.

They get in, they get out,
nobody knows a goddamn thing.

You understand?
Boom, boom, boom.

Three in the head,
you know they're dead.

That's a good motto.
Well, I'll get you
a bumper sticker.

You better start believing it.
That's the only statement
you need to make.

Is this bothering you?

Let's get
this thing down.
Thank you.

Psst.

I questioned Joyce
about all this.
Yeah?

It seems she was
pretty familiar with old Del--

on a regular basis,
if you get my drift.

And half the other guys
in this town, including
yourself, I believe.

Junior year.
Anyway, so what?

So, suppose Betty
found out about them.

So you're saying
that Betty Sizemore--

our Betty Sizemore,
who you went
to swing choir with--

hired somebody to scalp
her husband...

in her kitchen,
while she watched?

It's just a theory.
Oh, you're amazing,
Elden.

Just because I'm thinking it
doesn't mean I like it.

[ Door Opens ]

So? How is she?
She's in a kind
of shock.

I see signs of a
post-traumatic reaction with

possible dissociative
symptoms.

Could I have that
in American?
It's a kind of altered state.

It allows
a traumatized person
to continue functioning.

- So she did witness it?
- [ Doctor ]
Without question.

But her memory of it
has gone.

Any idea who Chloe
or Lonnie are?

Good night.

Sue Ann, I gotta
tell you something.

A bad thing happened
to Del and me.

Yeah, hon.

Why don't you get some sleep.
Everything's gonna be fine.

Oh, I know.

And I'm real sorry
about all this.

But I just know there's
something special
out there for me.

[ Betty's Voice ]
Dear Del.

[ Thinking ]
This is the hardest thing
I've ever done,

but I need to be honest.

Admit it, Del--
we've grown apart, and you
don't seem happy anymore.

As for me,
I don't think I've ever...

given myself a chance.

But I want to take
that chance now.

Best of luck to you.

Betty.

This is bad, Wesley.
This is very, very bad.

- This is extremely bad.
- Hmm? Want some bacon?

I don't think you
appreciate the gravity
of the situation here.

It's bad enough that we don't
have what we came for.

We don't even know
where the hell it is.

Now this.

This is supposed
to be my last job.

I even put down a deposit
on my boat.

How in the hell can you eat
at a time like this?

I get nauseous
just watching you.

Well, I can eat
because I know we didn't
kidnap no woman.

And I can eat 'cause
I know ain't nobody
looking for us.

And I can eat
'cause I'm fuckin' hungry.

Relax. She'll end up
on a milk carton
or something.

That's about it.

She got out of town
awful quick.

And wasn't she quiet
in that house?

- Mm-hmm.
- I think most women would
have screamed, don't you?

I know they would have.
Yeah.

We could be dealing
with a cunning,
ruthless woman here.

Uh, Mrs. Rogers?
Yes.

How you doing?
Dwight Campbell,
Mutual Life Insurance.

I'm looking
for a Betty Sizemore.
I wish I could help you,

but I can't.
[ Electronic Beeps ]

Go to your room.
Now.

Precious, ain't they?

You know, she has
a substantial death benefit...

coming to her
from the tragic loss
of her husband.

Does she have any relatives
in the area?
No.

Well, she does have
some grandparents...

down in Oklahoma,
but that's it.

So are you in touch
with Mrs. Sizemore?
No.

But I am taping
her show for her.

Her show?
Yeah. A Reason to Love.

Did Chloe testify?

She's been working here
how long?

Five years, give or take.

- You two in high school
together?
- [ Laughs ]

Aren't you a sweetheart.

No, not quite.

Anyway, she's been with us
quite a while.

- But she wanted more
out of life, huh?
- No, she just wanted...

something out of life--
anything.

- Who is this gentleman?
- That's just a cutout.

- That's a gag we did
for her birthday.
- Do you mind if I keep these?

If it'll help bring her back,
please be my guest.

I hope you didn't
get the wrong idea
on the phone, Lonnie.

Oh, I don't think so,
Chloe.

But when they call Chloe
Jensen to the stand, just say
what you're supposed to say.

You mean I'm going
to have to swear?
On a Bible?

Relax.
It's a hearing.

But they are gonna
ask you some questions.

Oh, no!
So--

You're into Reason too?

- [ Chloe ]
Is David gonna be there?
- I'm Ellen.

- What can I get you?
- A lite beer, please.

Come on, Chloe.

You're a beautiful,
intelligent, sexy woman.
Thank you.

With a torn blouse.
You can't lose.

- [ Together ] Ooh.
- A Reason to Love
will continue.

[ Betty ]
Ellen, do you have
a phone?

Here you go.

If it's long distance,
you can leave me a buck
when you're done.

Thanks.

[ Ringing ]
Hello?

Sue Ann.
Betty!

Hi. Just calling
to tell you that I'm fine.

Okay, where are you?
I'm in the...

Canyon Ranch Bar,
in, um--

Williams.
In Williams, Arizona.

So I guess
I'm halfway there.
Halfway to where?

You've got to come home.
We've been really worried
about you, you know.

Sue Ann, I thought
you'd back me on this.

You know how it is
with Del.

How did he take my note?
Listen to me.

A nice man came by
from Mutual Life Insurance.

He says you've got
a lot of money coming
to you from Del's policy.

- What are you talking about?
- Del's life insurance policy.
Are you with me?

- Oh-- I've gotta go.
- No. Betty, listen to me.

Del is dead.
What did I ever do
to her?

It's what
you didn't do, bud.

[ Ellen ]
So where you headed,
Betty?

[ Betty ]
Los Angeles, California.

And you called your friend,
and she's telling you
not to go?

When I went to Europe,
my friends told me
I was crazy.

Europe? The Europe?

God, this is my first time
out of Kansas.

I should call you
Dorothy.

When I first left here,
I went straight
to Italy.

Everyone told me not to go,
but, oh, I wanted to go
to Rome--

ever since
I saw Audrey Hepburn
in Roman Holiday.

[ Laughs ]
And goddamn it, I went!

Did you love it?

Rome was the best thing
I ever did--

because I did it.

I swear to you,
it changed me.

I've been to Rome, Italy.

And I sat every morning
in the Café Sistina,

and I drank my cappuccino
and I--

I watched the pilgrims
walk to Mass.

No one can ever
take that away from me.

[ Laughs ]

I left my husband
three days ago.

Really?
Yeah.

I'm getting back
with my ex-fiancé.

He proposed to me
right around here,

so I guess this is
kind of a sentimental stop.

[ Woman ]
* When I was just
a little girl *

* I asked my mother

* What will I be

* Will I be pretty

* Will I be rich

* Here's what she said

* To me

* Que sera, sera

* Whatever will be

I thought this was
the first time you've
been out of Kansas.

Well, I mean except for then.

I'm trading in a car dealer
for a heart surgeon.

So that's not too bad, huh?
That's smooth.

Cedars Sinai?

No, no, no.
Loma Vista.

[ Both Laughing ]

I suppose his name
is David Ravell.

How did you know that?

What's his real name?

It's Dr. David Ravell.
But how did you know?

Do you mean George McCord,
the actor?

No. No, no, no.
David Ravell.

He's a heart specialist.

I know.
We just watched him.

You're serious.

How are you gonna
find him, Betty?

Well, I'll--
I'll go to the hospital.

What if,
when you get there,

nothing's like you thought
it was gonna be?

[ Sighs ]

Well, this is the biggest
thing that I've ever done.

And I have to do it.

You take care
of yourself, Betty.

To tell you the truth,

I can't believe
I've made it this far.

Betty is a big fan
of the soap opera
A Reason to Love.

- Look. That's important.
- Why do I need to look at it?

He told you
to do this, huh?
No!

No. I saw, on television,
Chloe and Lonnie.
They're television characters.

Right. And-And Betty
is in love with
Dr. David Ravell.

Right! Right!
From the show.

What if she's in Los Angeles,
looking for him?

- The actor, I mean, not the--
- That's the dumbest thing
I have ever heard.

It's dumb?
Why did Betty call Sue Ann
from Arizona yesterday?

- Yeah, she called me
yesterday.

- Said she was in Arizona,
did she?

- [ Together ] Yes!
- This is even stupider than
I thought it was gonna be.

- This woman is on the run.
- Come on, Elden.

- And you think she's gonna
phone in her location?
- What's it gonna hurt...

to call the Los Angeles
Police Department?
You have got to do that!

Hey! I'm the law.

I ain't gotta do nothin'.

[ Man ]
That's Betty when she was 12.

Very graceful.

Perfect form.

Yeah.

Such poise too.

Very impressive.

Thank you, ma'am.

Now, did she ever give you
any indication that she
might leave her husband?

She put up with things
that I wouldn't have.

And yet she,
of all people,
defended him.

That's why
what that Sheriff said
made me angry.

- What do you mean?
- If anyone paid to have...

that husband of hers killed,
it would have been me.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Blaine,
I can assure you,
without a doubt,

that your granddaughter
is alive,

and she had absolutely
nothing to do with
the killing of Del Sizemore.

You've got to be missing
a piece of your soul
to kill someone.

That's not our Betty.

Why do you say you've got to
be missing a piece of your
soul to kill somebody?

Because it's not natural,
young man.

It's very,
very natural to kill.
All species kill.

See, God kills.

You saying that God's
missing a piece
of His soul?

My partner is young,
Mr. Blaine.

He loves his job.
Loves his job.

Matter of fact,
he'd like to kill
all the criminals himself.

Let me just
ask you this.

If Betty was running
from someone,

where do you think
she'd go?

[ Woman ]
Of course, I don't know
every doctor that works here.

But Dr. Ravell is the finest
surgeon on the staff.

You must know him.
He's really handsome.

And he's gentle
and considerate.

He's being sued
for sexual assault.

- What?
- Well, he didn't do it.
He was set up.

Well, I certainly would have
heard about that.

Of course,
he's only here
twice a week.

He's also on staff
over at Loma Vista.

I don't think
I know that hospital.

Oh, it's the one
in the really pretty area,

with the palm trees
out front and the mountains
in the back.

You've just described
all of Southern California.

Hmm.

Well, I'm sorry, but I
can't even consider you...

without references
and a resume.

And frankly, I don't know how
you could have forgotten them.

[ Indistinct Chatter
Over P.A. ]

[ Woman Groaning ]

- Hi.
- Who--

Who are you?
Betty--

Nurse Betty.

[ Tires Screeching ]

Hold it, hold it!
[ Cries Out ]

[ Crowd Clamoring ]

[ Shouting In Spanish ]

- Help us!
Please, somebody!
- [ Shouting In Spanish ]

What the hell are you doing?
Get out of there!

You've got to help me!
My brother is dying!

[ Speaking Spanish ]
[ Sirens Wailing,
Crowd Clamoring ]

[ Man ]
Hey! Drop your gun!

[ Man ]
Drop your weapon!
Hi.

- Let's see.
Are you choking?
- [ Gasping ]

Okay, let me--
Let me look. Oh!

He has the--
He has the thingy!

The-The air in the hole!

He has too much air
around the heart
and the lungs,

so I have to open--
I have to relieve
the pressure...

so he can breathe.

What are you doing?
You're going to hurt him!

No, I have to do this
or he'll die.

It's okay.
I've seen it done once.

Here we go. Ready?
[ Coughs ]

See? Wasn't so bad.

[ Coughing ]

Is he gonna be all right?
We're gonna do everything
we can for him.

You should
thank that nurse
for what she did.

Iris-- Who is
that remarkable nurse?

What you did yesterday
was reckless at best.

You are not an employee
of this hospital.

If that boy dies, I don't even
want to think about the
lawsuit that will follow.

Are we communicating?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Good.

Because I'm prepared
to offer you a job.

You can help out
in the pharmacy...

until your
California certification
and references arrive.

But you are not
to touch anyone.

Is that totally clear?

[ Electronic Beeps ]

Well, he's doing fine.

Ay, gracias a Dios.

You don't sound like...

you're from here.
No, I'm from Kansas.
I just drove in.

Why did you come
to LA?

I came for love.

My ex-fiancé lives here, so--

So are you staying
with him?
Oh, no.

I don't actually know
where he is just yet,

so I'm at a motel
around the corner.

Rosa--
[ Speaking Spanish ]

This neighborhood--

You get used to it.

Oh, pretty.
Yeah, I got this
apartment with a guy.

The guy you were
telling me about?

Oh, no.
This one was worse.

I had to have
the place sprayed
when he left--

[ Laughs ]
twice.

He was two
before the last one,

not counting a little
office thing in there--

which I'm trusting you with,
'cause if it gets out,

I'm on the street,
know what I'm saying?

Oh, wow.

This is nice!

Oh, I love
the aquarium.

Yeah, well, at least
fish don't pee on the seat.

Just once I wish
I'd run into a guy...

who would notice them
before my tits.

Come on.
I will show you
to your room.

Okay.

* [ Funk-Pop On Radio ]
No, no. We'll find her.

Yes.

I understand.

So what'd they say?
They said find it--

Find her.
Finish the job
we were paid to do.

- Half.
- What?

They only aid us half,
so they still owe us
the other half.

Oh, goddamn, Wesley.
There you go again!

The same lousy-assed attitude
that got us here
in the first place.

That "make a statement,"
do an end zone dance,

shake your ass and sue
everybody in sight attitude...

that's dragging this whole
fucking country down
the drain!

You get paid
when a job is done.

- And we haven't done
the goddamn job!
- I know that.

Turn off that goddamn music!
Do I deserve this?

In the twilight of my career,
do I deserve this?

I don't think so.
I never took out anybody
that didn't have it coming.

I'm a fucking professional!

And where am I?
Purgatory!
Worse.

You're in Texas.
I am very tired.

I've worked hard,
and my work should be over,
but it's not.

This fuckin' job
is just beginning.

Betty, Betty, Betty.

What's going through
that pretty little head
of yours?

Everyone says,
if you're going to get
married,

* [ Rock And Roll ]
this is the spot
to find someone.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Luckily for me, I'm off men,
so I have the luxury
of not giving a shit.

Mmm.

You know, the more
I think about it,

David probably
wouldn't come here.

I mean, he's still
getting over Leslie
and everything.

Who is Leslie?
His wife.

He has a wife?
Oh, no-- had.

She died in a car wreck
last year--

Decapitated.
God, that's awful!

I know.
They're not even sure
it was an accident...

'cause they never
found her head.
Her head?

Mm-hmm.
You are making this
all up.

Oh, no, no.
See, she was
having an affair...

with a Russian diplomat,

and they think he was
mixed up in the Mafia
or something.

Ay, Dios.
And I thought
my love life was crazy.

So, we'll start
at the library first,

and we'll fan out
from there.

They've got
all the LA phone books,
plus medical directories,

things like that.
Okay. Okay.

We're not going to let him
hide from you any longer,
all right?

All right.
[ Laughs ]

I am going to make this
my personal mission.

I can't believe you're
doing all this for me,
Rosa.

I just want to make sure
that you get your...

fairy tale ending,
or whatever.

At least one of us should.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hola.
Hola.

- David Ravell.
- [ Laughing ]

Loma Vista?
David Ravell?

[ Tapping ]

Hi.
Guess who I saw today.

Who?
Dr. David Ravell.

You're kidding! Where?

On television.

Really?
Cut the shit, will you?

Either you're making a fool
out of me...

because you get off on it,
or you got some
serious problems.

So which one is it, Betty?
What are you talking about,
Rosa?

I'm talking
about Dr. David Ravell.

I know.
I heard you, but I--

You have a thing
for an actor...

on some stupid white soap
opera, and we searched all
over town for his character.

Not the actor--
whose real name is George,
by the way--

but his character, Betty.

[ Whispering ]
Are you having
a nervous breakdown?

[ Squeals ]

Rosa--
I trusted you, Betty.

I thought he was real.
He is real.

You need serious help.

I bet she's nice
and comfortable
in that air-conditioned car.

You don't look
all that comfortable here
though, baby.

'Cause you don't like
being the center
of attention, do you?

Nah. You're like me.

You smokin'?
Huh?

What's wrong with you?

What the fuck, Wesley!

That was a shitty thing
to do!

I'm sick of seeing
her fucking face!

I will shoot that bitch
like she'd scratched
my car!

Now, don't talk like that.

My last one.

My final target.

Hey--

Don't you realize
that you're special?

Huh? Don't you know
that you represent something?

What?
What?

What does she
represent?

What does some skinny
white bitch from Kansas,

who's dragging
our ass up and down
the Louisiana Purchase,

what does she represent?

Please tell me.
Please.

I don't know.
Something.

[ Wesley ]
Charlie!

They found her in Vegas!
Perfect description.

Says she's with the buyer
that Del lined up.

- How'd they describe her?
- You know-- blonde, thin,
whatever.

Well, now--
Blonde, thin, yeah.

Did they say
anything about style?
Did they mention grace?

Huh? Huh?

Hey.

Hey.

This is crazy.
I come home,
you go to your room.

You go to the kitchen,
I go to my room.

It's stupid.

So...
what do you say?

Can--
Can we be friends?

All right.

What are those?

* [ Radio: Switching
Stations ]

- Hey, look, look.
- Don't have time to look
at some hole in the ground.

I'm talking about one
of the seven natural wonders
of the world here.

It'd be dark before
you even got there.

You wanna see
the Grand Canyon at night?

Shit ain't grand.
It's bland.

What the hell does it matter?
We can be in Vegas
in four hours.

- Shit. She wasn't
in Kansas City.
- I know.

She wasn't in Dallas or
Houston either. What makes you
think she's gonna be in Vegas?

Think she's gonna be
waiting there with
tassels on her titties?

No.
Listen.

"When I grow up,
I'm going to become a nurse
or a veterinarian.

I always wanted
to help people...

and value all life,
be it animal, plant
or mineral."

- Now, that sound like
a showgirl to you?
- Keep turning the pages.

I'm sure she blows
a few strangers before
the book is done.

Do you hear yourself?
What?

- You sound like
a fuckin' madman.
- Are you an American, Wesley?

Yes, I'm an American.
And no, I'm not going
to the fuckin' Bland Canyon.

* [ Radio: Country ]

[ Coyotes Howling ]

You don't know
what you're missing.

Asshole.

[ Cell Phone Rings ]

- What's up?
- Mr. Campbell?

- Huh?
- Is this
Mutual Life Insurance?

- Hello? Hello!
- Yeah, yeah.
This is Dwight Campbell.

My name's Sue Ann Rogers.
I'm Betty Sizemore's friend.
I've heard from her.

Yeah?
She was at a bar
in Arizona.

* [ Music Swells ]

[ Woman ]
* Don't you know

* I was yours
from the very day *

* That you happened
to come my way *

* Can't you see

* I'm under your spell

* By the look in my eyes

* Can't you tell

* Can't you tell

* Now, don't you know

* Every beat of my heart
[ Wesley ]
Thank you.

* Keeps crying out

- What the fuck?
- * I want you so

- [ Horn Honks ]
- * Don't you know

- Come here!
- * [ Ends ]

[ Coyotes Howling ]

[ Howling Continues ]

Did you have
a good time?

You make a wish?
Get in touch
with your blackness?

Found your Betty.

Well, at least where
she's been hanging out.

Where? Where is she?

Not telling you.
What?

I'm not telling you
till you straighten out.

Dancing around like fuckin'
Bojangles out there--
What the fuck?

This shit's gotta stop,
and I mean it.

Do you think we should
go in and sit?

No. I was thinking we
could just stay out here
for a little while...

and mingle
a little bit.
Okay.

Good to see you.
Well, I'm glad to be here.

Oh, sure, absolutely.

Look who's here.

Hmm?
Over there.

Well?

What are you
waiting for?

Talk to him, huh?

You came 1,500 miles
for this.

[ Chuckles ]

You're serious
about this.
He's got his own company.

I mean, he's the guy
you wanted to tell.

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

Do I know you?

Of course.
[ Laughs ]
Don't you remember?

- I-I take it I should.
- Silly. It's me.

We were engaged.

- You were engaged.
- [ Chuckles ]

I-I beg your pardon?

Letting you go,
that was the biggest mistake
of my life.

And it's a mistake
I've had to live with
for six years,

but I've put it behind me now,
and I just hope that you can
put it behind you too.

I've missed you.

I've missed you, David.

[ Laughing ]

That's... very nice.

That was very good.
I greatly
appreciate that.

Wow. That was-- Wow.
Good.
[ Laughs ]

They day I left you,
I just drove and drove.

I drove all day
and all that night.

I just kept driving.
I stopped at this
old country church,

and the pastor let me in,
and I sat--

In the very first pew,
where we would've sat
on our wedding day.

I can't believe
I remembered that.

Although I should.
I wrote it.

But that was seven years ago,
and you're quoting
it verbatim.

I'm... flattered,
I think.

- Or frightened.
- [ Laughs ]

What's your name?
Betty Sizemore.
What'd you write?

I'm Lyla Branch.
I'm the producer.

Uh-huh.
I have to admit,
you had me going there.

[ Laughing ]
You're better than
most of them anyway.

Yeah.
Do you have
a head shot?

Wait a second.
So what happens next,
Betty?

Are you sure you--
Well, why not?

What-- What does
happen next, Betty?

Well, David came out to,
uh, do his residency,

and then he met Leslie--
No, no, no, no, no.

We know all that.
We want to know
what happened to you, Betty.

Oh. Oh. Well--

I married a car salesman.

[ Laughs ]
Really?

You were--
You were dumped for
a car salesman, George.

- Why'd you call him
"George"?
- Why did I call him--

Yeah, David, tell us
about the car salesman.

Oh, right, right.
Well, you're, um--

You're talkin' about,
uh, Fred there.

Del.
Del. Del. Yeah.

Uh, Del.
He was amazing.

Oh, yeah.
He was, I mean,
this guy--

Talk about salesmen,
he could sell anything
to anybody...

at anytime, amazing.
You know Del?

I don't know
how to tell you this,
but Del and I go way back.

We went to school together.
As a matter of fact,

he saved my life.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Like, two more minutes
in that freezing-cold water,

and I swear to God,
I would've drowned, but--

- Del.
- [ Laughs ]

Del jumped in and he
grabbed me and he just--
he pulled me out.

- [ Laughs ]
- It was amazing.

Pulled him--
Hold on. I'm having
a moment here.

I lost touch with him
after that, but...
I still owe him.

He never said anything.
God. That is unbelievable.

That's funny.
It's just what
I was thinking.

I know!
I can't tell you
how much it hurt me...

to hear that
you married him.
Oh, I'm so sorry.

I tried to tell myself,
at first,
it was for the best,

that there was some
sort of reason for it,
but Del?

I was young
and-and stupid and scared.

You never even
gave us a chance.
I know.

I can't tell you
how many times I-I tell
myself that same thing.

[ Sobbing ]
I'm-- Are you
really crying here?

I'm just--
I'm was kinda
playing along.

What are you doing,
George?

Why does he keep
calling you George?

I don't know.

Listen, Betty,
I'm sure you'll understand.

David is a very busy man,
so we really have to go.

Now.

It was a pleasure
meeting you.
Bye.

We gotta get to this,
uh, previous engagement.

But, uh--
Oh.

It was good.
It was so great.

All right.

Uh, I would be honored
if you'd join us.

What... an idea.

I'm sure you two
have a lot of
catching up to do,

David.
Yeah?

All right.

Thank you.
Hold on a minute.

Thank you.

Hey, thanks, man.
I love your work.

Oh, thank you.
Thanks a lot.

[ George ]
Hey, look who's here!

What's Lonnie
doing here?

- What happened to you?
- Late, as usual.

I know.
Why are you guys
leaving?

- We did our 20 minutes.
- Oh. Who's the skirt?

[ Laughing ]

Apparently, somebody
who doesn't like to be
referred to as a "skirt."

You!

Relax. She didn't even
get you that hard.

- Do I know you?
- No, but I know
just who you are.

This doesn't look like
the kind of place
Betty would come to.

Maybe she had
to go to the bathroom.

I mean, she does pee,
doesn't she?

Or is she
too poised to pee?

Hey. Be careful with that.

[ Door Squeaks, Closes ]
* [ Jukebox: Indistinct ]

What can I get ya?

We're federal marshals,
ma'am.

We're lookin' for
this young lady.

I haven't seen her.

You sure have!

- Shut up, Merle.
- Betty!
Her name is Betty.

I've never seen
that woman before,
and neither has Merle.

He drinks too much.
And don't try to tell me
you're cops.

I was married to a cop
for nine years.
You're not cops.

- Motherfuck!
- [ Crash ]

[ Merle ]
What are you doin'?
Shut up!

You haven't been
forthcoming with us.

So Lyla's very nice.

Really tall.

Yes, she is.

You know, she said
she thought that I was
charming and relentless.

She said that I would
go far in this town.

Oh, and she said that,
unlike most charming and
relentless people she knew,

she liked me.

Well, she's
a good person to know.

So,

where did you
study again?

Carlton.
Carlton.

Carlton School of Nursing.

But I only went
for two semesters though.
Oh.

'Cause Del--
Ah, right.
Okay, okay, okay.

I think you set
the official record...

for staying in character
about three hours ago now.

[ Laughs ]
You just said that to me
two hours ago.

Ohh--

Is it here?
Mm-hmm.

Well, great.

Gosh. I haven't been
this happy since I was 12.

Okay, I'll bite.
What happened
when you were 12?

I took my mom to Kansas City
for Mother's Day,

and I used the allowance
I was saving.

We went to lunch at Skies--

this restaurant
at the top of a building,

and you can see the whole
world from up there.

It was
our last special thing...

'cause she died that year.

It was a great day.

You just... gave me
goose bumps from that,
you know that?

That is
just great improv.

I just want everything
to be perfect between us.

I know, I know.
Listen, let's, let's--
Time, here. Let's--

Can we talk seriously
for... just a minute?

- Uh-huh.
- I know how much
you want this, Betty,

and you are gifted
and extremely determined,

but I gotta tell you,
it is not entirely
up to me.

I know. It's up to us.

I love you, David,

and I want to see you
tomorrow and the next day...

and the next day
and the next.

So were you with him
this whole time?

Oh, you scared me.
Mm-hmm.

- Still in love?
- Mm-hmm.

This isn't fair,
you know.

Do you always get
what you want?

- Almost never.
- But you're in love with
someone who doesn't exist.

You come out here,
you meet this guy who
should laugh in your face.

Instead,
you leave with him.

You're, like,
one of a kind.

Thanks.

[ George ]
It was a totally rejuvenating,
spiritual experience.

I know. I was there.

I not denying
that she's good.
Thank you, Lupita.

You know she got a job
as a nurse?

Method actress?

David Ravell--
He's getting boring.

- We know that.
- Well, couldn't I have,
like, a sister...

who's a twin who's evil?

No! We did that
with Lonnie. Remember
the blind one last year?

- He got the Emmy thing
for that?
- Yeah.

I think we just
bring Betty down...

and just throw her
into the set and
see what happens.

[ Laughing ]

- I don't know.
- I mean, I tell the cast
ahead of time.

- I mean, they'd all be
prepped.
- I'll think about it.

It'd be like live television.
I mean, let's live on the edge
a little bit here.

Come on, Lyla!
We could break the mold.

I said
I'll think about it.

[ Charlie ]
Now, let me tell you why
I know she's lying.

First place,
Betty would never fall
for a soap star.

It's beneath her.

I don't know. That bartender
sounded very serious.
No, no.

Betty's here on business.

It's the biggest market
for what she's selling.

Wait, hold up, hold up.
That don't make no sense.

What doesn't make no sense?
Well, you obviously
believe the lady.

Shit, we're all the way
here in LA.

So you believed her enough
to come the fuck out here.

If you believed her that much,
now why is the rest of her
story suddenly bullshit?

- I just don't buy it.
- Don't buy it.

Call it instincts.
Call it 35 years of
professional know-how.

I call it nutty as my shit
after I eat an Almond Roca.

You need to remember
who you're talking to.

I need to get
my fuckin' head examined!

You can't rule something out
just 'cause you got a whim
or thought the bitch was fine!

I've been following your whims
all across America.

And you know what?
I am fuckin' tired!
Wesley--

It's beneath her?
The bitch is
a fuckin' housewife!

Ain't nothin' beneath her!

So check this out.
What kind of car
does Jasmine drive?

Uh, Mercedes, I think.
Black.

So is she as fine in real life
as she is on the show?

- Better.
- Mmm! Goddamn.

Why don't you
help a brother
sneak on the lot?

Sure.

Good lookin' out, baby.
Good lookin' out.
All right, now.

Black Mercedes.
Lookin' for
a black Mercedes.

It's got ten kilos.

Blonde, great figure.

Sort of a wholesome
Doris Day thing going.

Yeah, that's what I said.
Doris Day.

Yeah, you could see her
workin' at the UN
or some place like that.

UN.

United Nations, man.
Where-- Never mind.

[ Beeping ]

[ Doorbell Rings ]

Hi. Betty there?

You don't look
like you do on TV.

You must be Rosa.
I'm George McCord.

I've heard
so many great things
about you.

Hmm. Not as much as
I've heard about you.

These are for you.

[ Sniffs ]

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

Hi.

Oh, that's nice.

Well, I see
you've met David.

Yeah, I sure did.
Funny thing, Betty.

He introduced himself
to me as George.

Oh, yeah.
He does that.

Half the people who know him
call him George.

I don't think
your friend Rosa
likes me very much.

Oh, she's probably
just jealous.

She gets
a little confused
about men.

Um, so where
are we going?

Well, first I was thinking
about Patina, and then
I thought about the Ivy,

and then
I thought some place
a little more romantic,

like my place.
Oh, great!

We're going
to the beach house.

No. I don't live
at the beach. David--

No, I moved to the hills.

[ Laughs ]
I moved.

[ George ]
God, I haven't
felt like this...

since I was
with Stella Adler
in New York.

You just-- You're--
You're so real.

I don't think you've ever
mentioned this Stella
to me before.

Oh, haven't I?
Mm-mm.

See, I would remember
the name Stella.

The only Stella I ever knew
was a parrot.

So was that before Leslie?

Before us?

I've never met
anyone like you, Betty.

Well, that's why we're
meant to be together.

Your dedication
scares me.

Oh, it's easy to be dedicated
when you care about something.

When I met you,
it was like
a warm breeze...

that's suddenly
blown into my life.

You remember that line?
I said that to Leslie
during her funeral.

I love that line.

Well,

you said it to her,

but you meant it for me,
didn't you?

Yeah.

Maybe I did.

[ Wesley ]
So I'm walkin' down
Hollywood Boulevard,

checking out
all the stars
on the ground.

Clint Eastwood,
Rock Hudson.
No people of race.

Not one--
I could not find people
of race anywhere, right?

So I'm looking
at this Chinese guy.

He's reading his paper,
and I look real hard,
and who do I see?

That's Lonnie,
the main prick from the show.

And who is that
next to him? Betty!
That's definitely Betty.

I told you this
ain't no coincidence.

What the fuck?
You been holding out
on me?

- This does not fit
her profile.
- Fuck the profile!

That's the same guy!
No, no. No, no.

Betty would not be here
because of a soap opera.
Not a soap opera, man!

That would make her--
That would
make her crazy!

No shit, Shaft!
And you ain't
too far behind yourself.

No, no.
Betty's smarter than that.

How the fuck did you
stay on this job
so fuckin' long?

We are draggin' our ass
up and down the country.

Meanwhile, our answer
to our prayers are right
in your back fuckin' pocket.

You let this cunt
fuck up my--

Don't you talk to Betty
that way.

I don't care
what she turns out to be.

Don't you use that term again.
You hear me?

You need therapy.
Do you understand?

Yes, I understand!
Now let go of my vest.
You're stretching it.

You made your point.

Get yourself ready.
Get ready?

Shit, I've been ready
since Oklahoma.
"Get ready."

Ready for what?

[ Giggles ]
No peeking, all right?

How much longer?
Not much.

Here we go.
There's nothing
in front of you.

Relax. You got
a little step there.
[ Laughing ]

You're fine, you're fine.

All right. All set?
Uh-huh.

Here we go. And--

Surprise.
[ Gasps ]

Loma Vista.

- Ta-da!
- You didn't tell me I was
gonna meet your friends.

Guess what.
You got the job.

And I'm directing.
Oh, but I'm at LA County.

Oh, are you?
Come on.

It's only four lines,
so I just thought I'd
kind of spring it on you.

Hope that's okay.
We're not gonna do any

blocking or anything
like that.

I'm just gonna put you here
near the nurse's station--

Okay, I'll be right there.
Okay? Thanks.

And I just wanna do
like a quick run-through,
all right?

Relax. You look great.
And here we go in a sec.
Hold on.

Traffic was a nightmare
coming over the hill.

That's fine.
We've only got...
70 pages to shoot today.

Take your time.

David!

We'll get you in your hair
and makeup after this.
Just put this on.

What are you doing?

Um--

Hi. Welcome.
I hear you're really good.

What are you
doing here?
Good luck.

David!

Your lines are on
the cue cards over here.
What is she doing here?

Oh. But feel free
to ad-lib, okay?

Ad-lib?
In fact,
I want you to ad-lib.

I know. I hate these.
But that's the magic
that I'm after.

You know, just to let it go,
have fun with it.

We're gonna have
a whole new feel
to the show. Eric!

You know? So just
do one of those--
Just-- [ Exhales ]

You know, let it out
and just have fun with it.
You remember Betty?

Yes.
Let's go.

[ Man ]
Settle, please.
Stand by. Rehearsal.

Betty?

Just do what
you've been doing, okay?

Watch the scene,
take your cue from here.

Hank.
Lines are over here.

[ Man ]
Here we go. In...

five, four,
three, two--

Is this some kind of a game?
No, it's more like a nightmare
I can't wake up from.

There are other people
in this nightmare,
and they're going to get hurt.

- Uh, I feel so--
Arm, please.
- Oh.

I feel so alone
right now.

Here we go.
Show time. Show time.

Are you all right?
I think you stepped
on my first line--

I was talking to her.
Do you need anything?

Listen, I'm sorry.
I thought this would be
the best way,

just kind of
throw you into it,
you know?

[ Lyla ]
What the hell's going on?
If you need like a minute...

just to get your instruments
straight, that's fine.
Can I talk to you?

If you wanna just--
Can I talk to you?
Just a second.

David.
Stop calling me David,
for Christ's sake.

We're on the set.
You don't have to call me
David here, okay?

What's going on?
What is going on what?

You're acting crazy here.

Isn't this exactly
what you wanted?
I don't know.

Is there a problem,
George?
No, no, no.

No problem. There's--

What is the problem?
Just do that thing
that you do.

I mean, come on!
You drove me nuts with this
for three days.

Now, just relax and,
and let's do it.

Here we go. Here we go.
You're fine. You'll be fine.
Here we go. Sorry about that.

All right?
Here we go.

- Five, four, three, two--
- Is this some kind of game
that you're playing?

No. It's more like
a nightmare I can't
wake up from.

There are other people
in that nightmare,
and they're going to get hurt.

Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.

Betty?

[ George ]
Oh, no.

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

This is bullshit!
I cannot work like this!

All right, everybody,
take five.
No. Hold on, hold on.

Let me just talk to her.
It was a gamble.
It didn't work.

- We have to move on.
- Goddamn it! She's been
doing this all week!

She can do it now!
I said forget it!

All right. Well--
What are you looking at,
Eric?

I hope you're happy.
I just put my ass
on the line for you,

and my reputation,
and you just made
a total idiot out of me.

You happy?
I'm sorry.
What did I do?

Who put you up to this?
Did my ex-wife do this?

- You know, David--
- Stop calling me that!

My name is George!
George! Say it!

This is a TV show!
A television show!

If you don't know the
difference, you're more
fucked up than I thought!

- Leave her alone, George.
- Shut the fuck up!
You're a grip. Go...

grip something!

And you are not
an actress, are you?
You're-- What are you?

You're like
a soap opera groupie, right?

Is that it?
You have nothing better
to do but this!

Why don't you
get a fucking life
and stop ruining mine!

Oh, boy.
She gave me
this one shot--

One shot in my life to do
this, and you have
destroyed it.

Thank you very much!
Thanks, Betty!
That was great!

[ Voices Fade Out ]

[ No Audio ]

Are you hearing this?
Hey!

She's fuckin' crazy!
Don't look at me like that!
You-- Tell 'em who I-- Hey!

Tell 'em who I am.
Tell 'em.

George McCord?

No, no, no.
No, not now.

I'm David.
I am Dr. David Ravell.

I'm the great
Dr. David Ravell, right?

Loma Vista's greatest--
I'm the doctor!

I don't think
that she thinks that!
Who did you call me?

She called you George,
George.

George McCord,
my-my favorite actor?

Oh, oh. Oh, God.

- What are you doing here?
- Oh, goodness.
Oh, you're sick.

Um--
What do you do now?

Are you gonna kill me?
No! Don't get near me!

Don't touch anything,
crazy person!

What do you do now?
What?
Huh?

Um--

I'm gonna go.

[ Man ]
Okay. Moving on.
Wardrobe?

How do you do,
Mr. McCord?

We're trying to locate
a deranged fan of yours,
a Miss Betty--

Deranged. Yeah.
That'd be the right word
for it.

That's not necessary.
Uh, she's staying
with a friend of hers,

Rosa... Herreras
or Hernandez or--

Has an "H" sound to it.
They're in Silver Lake.

That's all I know.
Yeah.
Silver Lake.

You must get this a lot.
Mm-hmm.

More than you know.

Anything else?

No.
Okay, great.

Actually, there is.

You know,
I'm a big fan of the show,

and I figure you being
Dr. Ravell and all,

I thought you might be
able to go out there and
tell Jasmine to come outside.

Well, you thought wrong.
Hey, man, it's just
an autograph. It's not for me.

It never is.
Motherfucker!

You need to have
some fuckin' manners, man!

What the fuck is
wrong with you, man?
Hey, I saw your TV movie!

It sucked!
Hasselhoff blew you
off the screen!

Betty?

Hey, did the pizza guy
show up yet?

- Can I have these chips?
- Sure.

Thanks.

Are you all right?

Did something happen?

Oh, shit! What the--

Call a doctor, bitch.
What the fuck.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Charlie ]
What the hell is that?
Don't ask.

It's all there.
Hasn't been touched.

You were right about Del.
He wasn't lying.

Yeah, well,
you were right about what
the lady bartender said.

Yeah, but you
were right first.

You gotta follow
your instincts.

So what do your instincts
tell you now, kid?

Take this shit
back to Detroit and
get our fuckin' money.

Yeah, we could do that.

I could be
on my way to Florida.

You could go on down
to Thailand or some place
and fuck your brains out.

But that's not what
we're gonna do, is it?
No.

She's my last one.

My instincts are telling me
I've got to see this through
with her.

And if there's anything
I've tried to teach you here--

- It's to follow my instincts.
- No. It's to follow
my instincts.

So we go up there
and we conclude our business.

Case closed.

I have to leave.

Leave?
Where you going?
Mm-hmm.

Kansas.
Tonight?

Uh-huh.

You're gonna drive
halfway across the
country this minute?

Uh-huh. I have to go
fix what happened
to my husband.

So now you have
a husband.

Had. He was killed
in the dining room.

- Huh?
- You know, I think
I saw the whole thing.

I remember blood everywhere
and everything.

So what are you saying,
Betty, huh? Huh?

I really don't know.
[ Doorbell Rings ]

Yeah, just a minute!
This is crazy, Betty,
okay? Just don't go.

Just stay here,
and I'll be right back.

- How much?
- Uh, Detective Jefferson.

Oh. Did Betty call you?

She's got problems,
but... she's no killer.

I hope you guys
can just straighten this out.

Go easy on her, okay,
'cause she's had
a really rough day.

Hey, Rosa?
These guys are here
to help you, Betty.

- I don't think so.
- Come on! Come here!
Come here! Come on!

Get the fuck over there!
Come on!

Sit down! Shut up!

So, we meet again.

I've spent many long hours
in the car with your face
staring back at me.

- I've seen it painted
on the horizon.
- What's wrong with you?

Huh?
[ Doorbell Rings ]

That's our pizza.
Wesley--

Come here, come here.
Get rid of 'em.
You understand?

Okay.

Hi.

Betty, boy,
am I glad to see you.

- Roy, what are you doing
here?
- You are in serious danger.

Oh? Well, Roy,
it's really not
a good time right now.

Betty, I would've
been here sooner,
but Elden put me in jail.

- He still thinks that
you had Del scalped.

- Hey, I never said that,
okay?

Hi, Sheriff.
I don't think--

Betty, look, open up.
I gotta ask you
some questions about--

Betty, I really think
it's important
to find out--

It's just really,
really not a great time.

Hey. Hey!

Don't give me that!
I've come 2,000 miles
for this!

Ah!

You probably flew.
Come on.

I crossed the River Styx
to find her, pal.

I traveled
the fuckin' country
to get here.

- Who are these idiots?
- Uh, that's Roy Ostrey.
He's a reporter.

And that's Sheriff Ballard.
He, uh-- Well, we went
to Fair Oaks High.

Oh, great. This is--
This is great.

Sit your ass down!

What's up? What's up?
Come here. Come here.
Come here, motherfuck!

Fuck, man.
Come here. Come here.
You need an invitation?

I got two kids and a dog.
Yeah. Who don't?

[ Groans ]
What, what,
you gonna shoot me?

What you gonna do?

[ Handcuffs Ratcheting ]

What you doin'?
Act professional!

- That's not professional!
- Don't worry about me.
Find out what they know.

Shit.
[ Door Closes ]

Ohh.

Oh, okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay! Um, um, um--

[ Whimpering ]

I suppose...
you want me, um--

What?
[ Sobbing ]

To take off my, um--

Oh, no, no.

- No?
- You know who I am?

Oh, I've got
a pretty good idea.
Listen.

You didn't have anything to do
with what Del was into,
did you, Betty?

I have no idea what
Del was mixed up in.

So... you had nothing
to do with the drugs.

Oh, my God. Drugs?

God, no!

I am totally
against drugs.

[ Chuckles ]

Life is very strange.

I really had you pegged
as a cold-blooded bitch.

I mean, not that I didn't
still admire you for it.

If you didn't
come here to kill me,
then...

why are you here?

To see you.

Now how'd you two
dumb fucks find Betty?

I just put it all together.

I knew that David,
Lonnie and Chloe
were from that show.

- [ Muffled Yelling ]
- Betty thinks
they're real people.

Sounded strange,
but it was worth a shot.

- [ Continues Yelling ]
- What do you want?

Ignore him.
Don't take that tape off.
You're gonna regret it.

You're such a liar,
Elden Ballard!

- Oh, shut up!
- Liar! I'm the one that
figured it out, not him!

- Shut up!
- You are really smart!
- Fuck you, Roy Ostrey.

- Hey, shut up!
- I'm the one that watched
the-- - Shut the fuck up!

Shut the fuck up
both of you before
I kill both of you!

- You watch the show?
- Yeah, I'm the one
that watched the show!

He's the one that didn't
'cause he's a liar!

Calm down!
Stop acting like
a little bitch.

Now, did Chloe crack?

Chloe fell
completely apart!

You didn't know Chloe cracked,
did you?
[ Screams ]

What about Jasmine?

- Jasmine's a lesbian.
- Lyin' motherfucker!

You lie!
Jasmine is not
a lesbian!

I know what
I'm talking about!

[ Muffled Yelling ]
What you want?

You scream, you die.
I'm gonna take
this shit off.

You scream,
you fuckin' die!

I have a tape
of today's show.

[ Jasmine ]
You've got a lot of men
in motion over what you did.

What I did?
Don't give me that,
Chloe.

What about what he did?
I wasn't born yesterday.

You get in a man's car,
there's a reason.
We both know that.

Do you think
that maybe--
No, no. They're fine.

They're fine.

I don't meet people like you.

I'm a garbageman
of the human condition.
I deal with trash.

People who would trade any
part of themselves for a few

more minutes of their rotten
lives.

But you're different.

I am?
Yeah.

You could probably
have anything you want.

Aw.
Somebody as beautiful
and as stylish as you are,

and you don't even
realize it.

I just don't think
I'm who you think I am.

Look, let me just
get this out.

I like walks in the rain
and sunsets and symphonies,

kids, animals.

I read passionately.
I like to discuss things.

Oh.
I guess, basically,
I'm conservative,

but flexible.

I followed you
all the way across
the country, you know,

and I've come
to feel that...

we're a lot more alike
than you think.

But I thought
you said...

that you were
the garbageman
of humanity.

I just...

hoped I could leave that
behind me.

I thought "no" meant no.

[ Jasmine Scoffs ]
[ Chloe ]
What?

Say something.

First of all,
don't insult
my intelligence...

by telling me
that David Ravell
attacked you in that car.

So, um, that Jasmine,
she's certainly is
intriguing, isn't she?

Jasmine ain't no dyke.
She's just tryin'
to find herself.

- You're my only friend.
- Look at the titties
on Jasmine.

[ TV Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Wesley ]
Goddamn!
Ah, suki, suki, now.

Look at that!
You can do that shit
on TV? Oh, shit!

Look at that shit!

Jasmine is a wildcat.
You would never cook up
a scheme like this, would you?

What the-- Oh, shit!

- [ Screams ]
- Wesley!
Get over there.

[ Groaning ]

Daddy!

What? Wesley?

Oh, my God!
My fish are out there!

I know, I know, I know.
They're Nishikigoi.
How'd you know that?

Hey, we're in a shoot-out
here! You wanna shut up
about the damn fish?

No, Elden!
You shut up!

I'll get your fish.

Roy.

Oh, Christ.
[ Betty ]
What?

Th-- They--
They shot my boy.

My son is dead.

Sorry.

You're the reason
I'm here.

That's right.
I'm here because of you.

Oh.

Ohh!

Shit.

[ Elden ]
I need my other gun.

Go check his jacket.
Give me the gun.
I'll cover you.

- No. Let's wait
for the real police.
- I am the real police!

- Why can't we sneak outside?
- Lady, you just don't
run away from crime.

And Betty's in there.

So all of this really is
because of a soap opera.

My son is dead because...

you wanted to be
with this doctor.

This fake doctor.

[ Sirens Wailing ]

Well, too late anyway.

You could at least
give me my gun.

Maybe I could shoot my way
out, take a couple of them
with me.

I think I'd rather not.

Betty, please. Please.

I don't wanna shrivel up alone
in some stinkin' prison.
No way.

I've got
my professional pride.

And...

I don't want somebody else
to get credit
for taking me out.

I want you to listen to me.

Betty--

You never needed
that actor.

You don't need
that doctor.

You don't need any man.

It's not the '40s,
you know.

Honey,
you don't need anybody.

You know why?

Hmm?

'Cause you've got
yourself.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Gunshot ]
[ Sirens Wailing ]

[ Anchorwoman ]
In a story that police say
is bizarre even for Hollywood,

a father-son team
of killers...

tracked a Kansas soap
opera fan halfway across
the country,

only to find themselves
the victims in a final,
bloody confrontation.

We go now to Bebe Burke
at the scene of the--
That's our Betty.

This story
is beyond belief,
which is perfect for us.

It's free advertising.
It's gonna run
for months.

I don't think
she can do it.

I really don't.
Are you serious?

Did you see what happened?
Well, who wouldn't freeze
under those circumstances?

And I don't care
what her problems are.

She wouldn't be
the first person
in the cast with problems.

That's why we have
nothing to lose by
sending you to talk to her.

Me? Okay.
Let's talk about me.

What about my feelings
about all of this?

I don't really care
about your feelings.
[ Laughs ]

I did like
your icy water idea
the other day though.

Yeah?

I'm toying with the idea
of killing David Ravell off...

in a boating accident.

One of those
castaway deals
with Chloe and--

No?
How do I come back?

No, no, no. Don't--
Don't try the blackmail
bullshit with me, Lyla,

'cause it's kinda,
it's beneath you, so
don't even think about it.

It's an emphatic no,
missy. Poom!
End of story right there.

I'm sorry
for what I did.

I'm sorry for the things
that I said and...

for not
respecting you...

and just all the stupid
little things
that I was--

When you have a minute.
I really don't like
the idea of autographs,

and I'm kind of
in a moment
right here, so--

It's the check.

[ Clears Throat ]
I-- Sorry about that.

Uh-- No. I got this.
I got this.

My treat.

It's not the '40s,
you know.

Okay.
[ Chuckles ]

You know that my best friend
once said...

that if you were
any handsomer,
it'd be a crime?

Thank you.
It's just too bad
that you're such an asshole.

Uh, that's okay.
You know what?
That's okay.

That's all right.
I'm okay with that.
That's fair enough.

Now we've settled
the whole asshole thing,
Well--

is there any chance that
you would think about
joining the show?

At all?

There's always
a chance, David.

But what about tomorrow
and the next day...

and the next day
and the next?

If you were
any handsomer, Doctor,

it'd be a crime.

I take it that means
you're free tomorrow.

I was going
to ask you that too.

It's as if I've been in
some sort of dream state.

Like-- Like you
didn't know who you were
or what you were doing?

- Yes.
- [ Speaking Spanish ]

I have that effect
on people.

Well, you certainly
had that effect on me.

[ Speaking Italian ]

[ Continues ]

[ Speaking Italian,
Continues ]

Excuse me, sir?

[ Bells Chiming ]

Sir?

* [ Woman Singing
"Que Sera, Sera"
In Italian ]