Original subtitles

Legacies... The monsters are back.

I have no idea how or why or if it's gonna stop.

This was the only way I could think of

to get you to see

Sebastian's not real!

Shut up!

You don't exist to me.

What did you say to Elizabeth?

Sebastian?

Go long! Look, I know you say you're fine,

but you were stuck as a wolf for a pretty long time.

Yeah, and I'm back now. Thanks to Hope.

And the entire world has forgotten that I exist.

And the boy I love has moved on.

Not yet, but soon.

I kind of blasted Lizzie with enough

black magic to exorcise an army out of her head.

Hope... Andrea...

Mikaelson.

What? It's official.

I remember everything.

When I woke up from that spell Josie blasted me with,

you popped into my messed-up brain like an acid flashback.

How? You are literally the only person

on the planet who knows that I exist. Epic former

frenemy reunion is gonna have to wait.

We have bigger drama.

Josie and Landon are having sex tonight.

What?

There's a decade dance.

Okay, well, that doesn't mean...

She asked me to find an excuse

to stay with my dad.

You have to stop it.

Speak your truth.

Spill your beans, tell your tale.

Tell her?

Because I didn't want to be the one to break her heart.

That's your job.

Ugh. Not a good time.

Mm.

Who the hell are you?

I'm the Keeper.

Ah. And this is gonna be a lot easier than I thought.

Welcome to the game.

Well, that was... anticlimactic.

We have to get to the school to protect Landon.

More like protect Josie from Landon by warning her

she's about to have sex with a human-sized muppet.

What just happened?

I think the game just started.

Hey.

Hey. Oh! What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

Can you see him?

All I see is a dude

who can't respect boundaries.

I told you. No one else can see me.

Oh.

Boy! MG.

You're trippin'.

Well... I know. I know, I know.

But Lizzie... She-she met this new vampire.

Oh, yeah. Uh, Sebastian. Yeah.

She's been flapping her gums about him all over school.

He isn't real.

So I thought Lizzie was

losing it, but now I am seeing him.

So, either I'm hallucinating, or this dude...

Whoa. What the...?

Would you stop touching me?!

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.

Hey. Hey, buddy.

Um...

ask him what he wants.

He wants us to find his body.

He says he's been desiccated in a box somewhere.

He's a little vague on specifics.

I am vague,

because, as aforementioned...

I am, uh, desiccated

in a box!

Oh, my God. I'm a pacifist.

But if you touch my hair again, we will throw hands.

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa.

Stop!

Sorry.

Please tell your far more intelligent friend

that I have recently come into contact with blood.

Just a... just enough to reach that very limited mind of yours.

The blood was rancid.

You remember that nasty blood fountain we moved?

All right, everybody work together.

And Lizzie's gonna be here any second.

And trust me, you do not want to have only 98 red balloons.

What's so funny?

You said you and Josie were getting pretty intense, right?

Yeah.

And it's a dance.

It's a dance. So?

She thinks it's gonna happen tonight.

No, there's no way.

Dude, sex after a dance is so... So, what?

Eighties?

Hey.

So, I talked to Lizzie,

and she's actually gonna stay in town with my dad tonight.

Good. Yeah.

Just an FYI, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Dude.

I'm cool.

Just... just a little jumpy.

You've been a little jumpy a lot lately.

If all this stuff is too much, you don't have to...

Exposure therapy. It's, uh... it's supposed to be good for me.

Plus, I want to be able to handle the dance tonight.

Yeah, in case Hope happens to accept

the invitation you sent her?

Dude, how about you worry about yourself tonight?

I am.

Okay, let's try this again.

So, since we're trapped here, are we ever gonna talk about how

you came back from Malivore and decided not to tell any of us?

Sorry. I'm a little busy keeping us from being roadkill.

Projectium Deflecta.

That should protect us.

I don't think we have magic here.

Or you just did the spell wrong.

How's that siphoning going?

Okay, fine. There's obviously no magic.

And we're in some sort of death maze from hell.

And...

Why is it the '80s?

Speaking of...

Frogger?

Acid wash is clearly your thing.

Right? You kind of look fierce, too.

Thank you.

But now we got to get out of here.

Oh. My hair is still wet.

Should have seen that one coming.

Josie, may I make a suggestion about the dance floor?

Aren't you supposed to be having

brunch with your father? Dad.

Hey, I'm sorry. Uh... Principal Saltzman.

I'm afraid I must remind you

that you are prohibited from being here.

By court order.

Relax, Fumbledore.

I cleared it with the sheriff.

I'm here as a concerned parent, as

both my daughters recently experienced a traumatic event.

The samurai and the Oni Demon?

Josie told me all about it.

I'm okay. Thank you for checking in, but

everything's fine.

Mm-hmm. All right.

But what about Lizzie?

She was a no-show, too.

So, where is she?

She said she had an errand to run.

Hmm. All right.

Well, I'm not going anywhere until she gets back

and I know that she's okay, too.

We've never made it this far.

A land mine? Really?

What's wrong with this decade?

Reaganomics? Recreational cocaine?

Jams? If only there was a secret

or-or a clue.

Unless you see a clue store around here, Hope,

then I don't think...

Okay.

Oh, hey.

Looking for something?

Yeah. How do we get out of here?

And why are we in our grandparents' decade?

Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's the only decade I know.

Turns out you miss a lot of pop culture

when guys in black suits drop you

into a giant pit of goo.

As for getting out of here goes, uh, you don't.

You play the game until my pet feeds on you, and then you die.

For reals.

This game was specifically designed

to kill beautiful maidens, so,

I'd say it's a pretty good fit.

Oh. So glad we stopped in.

Let's go.

There is, um...

one... way out.

One of you agrees to take my place.

Look, I was trapped here once, too, okay?

Just like you two, and I...

I don't really feel like being

the Keeper of the Game, like, forever.

So, one of you agrees

to wear this bracelet, you get to be

the new me.

And the other one is set free.

Thanks, but, uh, no thanks.

Actually, I'm afraid there's no other option.

Yeah.

You take the deal, or my pet kills you.

That's the endgame.

That's the endgame.

Speak of the devil.

Ah. I love this part.

Oh, my God!

Hurry, come on!

Okay, I think we lost him.

At least we finally made it out

of the lame town square, no thanks to you,

Captain Almost-Stepped-on-the- Land-Mine-Again.

You killed us with a hair dryer.

Never forget.

The school's up this way.

If only there were something to talk about on the way.

Some burning question.

Some mysterious choice that demanded an explanation.

Okay, fine.

I was gonna tell everyone that I was back.

But then I saw Landon and Josie.

And how happy they were.

It just seemed like you all were better off without me.

What is wrong with you?

Do you really have that much of a martyr complex

that you couldn't just... Oh, I don't know...

Ask one of us how we were doing?

Look, I know that it seems kind of...

Dumb? Selfish?

Controlling?

Painful.

No one's been better off without you.

Landon and Josie are just filling a void

left by you and Penelope.

My dad is lonely.

Raf's a mess again, and apparently

I'm hallucinating boyfriends.

If my broken mind can remember you,

then maybe that spell Josie did

could bring everyone's memories back.

You and Landon are made for each other,

which is why you need to tell him

and Josie before they do the deed.

You hallucinated a boyfriend?

Tell you in a second.

Yeah, he's real, all right...

but damn.

Dude smells worse than that blood fountain. Mm-hmm.

Oh, you're both weaklings.

Shut up. Your face look like beef jerky.

Oh, is he here?

Tell him to talk to me.

Oh, as much as I would love that,

in my diminished state, I can only appear

to the fragile-minded... like you.

Um, he... says

that you have to be on, like,

the same spiritual wavelength.

Oh, this is maddening.

The rancid blood that you two turnips

bumbled on me was inadequate.

But with enough fresh blood, I will surely be restored.

Yeah. No way we're doing that.

Doing what?

Not even if I can give you what you want?

Hmm?

Elizabeth Saltzman all to yourself.

Without my competition.

Come on, MG, what's he saying?

Hold on.

He's just getting to the good part.

Set me free, Milton,

and I give you my word,

I will leave this town at once.

He wants for us to wake him up.

I know I'm forgetting something.

Uh-oh. Angst alert.

Landon's journaling.

Actually, Mr. Williams.

Um...

can I ask you a personal question?

Emma and I aren't dating anymore.

Okay? And, no.

I don't know if she's coming back.

Actually, I was, um,

I was actually wondering how you knew

you were ready to, um...

you know, um...

have sex...

f-for, like,

for, like, your first time.

First time?

Yeah.

Oh.

So you and Josie are getting serious?

I really don't want to mess this up. Gotcha.

Um...

All right, why don't you take a seat, Landon.

Well, I think

that when you've found the right person

that you want to take that step with...

you just kinda know.

It's-it's, uh, it's like a look, right?

It's this look and then...

you know.

Let me get this straight.

You don't know who this vampire is

or how he got down there,

just that he's been desiccated

for some unknown reason,

and he wants you two to wake him up.

Um... yeah. Y-Yeah.

That about... That about covers it.

Uh, unless I'm missing something

I would say... let him rot.

I would say... let him rot.

We don't even know what he's doing down there

in the first place. Neither do I,

but it's safe to say that no one is desiccated

for being too nice.

Okay, but that doesn't mean he's guilty.

And even if he is,

what crime equals that kind of time?

Hypothetically,

the slaughter of a couple dozen villages.

You're awfully quiet over there, MG.

Um...

I'm... I'm leaning Kaleb's way on this one.

Vamps before... non-vamps.

That's not...

I know I'm not in charge here anymore.

Now, if you want my vote, I say don't do anything

till you know more about this guy.

I-I respect that, Dr. Saltzman,

but he said he'll leave town.

We should at least give him a shot to keep his word.

And I vote we hold tight like Dr. S. said.

We, we figure out what Sebastian really wants.

How are we gonna do that?

You leave that to me.

All right?

Thanks for the wisdom, man.

To be honest, I'm surprised you'd even want my opinion.

You know,

after you guys voted me out.

Uh, look, uh...

confidential ballot and all...

I am the only one who voted for you to stay.

I know you don't want to think about this,

but the real world isn't resetting

like this stupid one is,

which means we are rapidly approaching

Josie's unexpected journey there and back again.

Bear trap.

I'm not gonna tell them about be.

Ugh. Why not?

Because it's not gonna change anything.

Arrow.

Sorry!

Be more careful next time, Frank.

It would change everything.

No, it won't.

When I saw that portal, I knew that there

was only one way to stop the monsters from coming.

I'm just gonna have to jump back in and close it.

Everyone's just gonna forget me all over again.

I was created to be the loophole that ends Malivore.

It's the only reason I exist.

It's my destiny.

Run.

Come on.

The school should be right through here.

Oh, hey.

Ready to take that deal yet?

I'm ready to take this maze and shove it up your...

Maze? Oh, no, this isn't a maze. It's a labyrinth.

Know the difference?

Do I look like a nerd? Hmm...

A maze has multiple paths, a labyrinth only has one.

Exactly. As I said before,

there's only one way this is going to end.

Granted, her legs are amazing, but she is a royal bitch.

What are we gonna do?

We take the deal.

And I stay behind.

It has to be me. I'll take her place

and then you can be set free.

See? Capital M-artyr complex, Hope.

The Minotaur travels with the Keeper, right?

So if I stay behind, it'll be trapped with me.

And since the monsters only come one at a time,

no other monsters ever will.

Besides, it's not like anyone's gonna know I'm gone.

Except you.

No, I haven't seen Lizzie.

She's probably still out buying her Jane Fonda leotard.

You voted for me to leave.

Why?

Because it's what you wanted.

Dad, you put it to a vote.

You knew that this place shouldn't be run

by a human anymore,

but you couldn't bring yourself to leave,

so you had us make that choice for you.

That sounds like something your mother would say.

She also said that your dream was to create a place

where we could learn to be ourselves, to be safe.

You've done that,

so now we have to move on to the next chapter of our lives.

We have to learn to do this without you.

Dad,

I voted you out so you could have your own life.

Start dating.

Start letting us go,

because we're fine...

because of you.

Definitely that one.

Definitely that one.

Yeah?

I picked out an outfit for you, too.

Oh, yeah? Mm-hmm.

Rise and shine, brother vampire.

Talk to me like the rain,

and I will lie here and listen.

You're a poet.

Nah, that's Tennessee Williams, bruh.

But tell me what I want to hear,

and there's more where that came from.

What do you wish to know?

What kind of vamp you are.

The kind that rips rabbits... or throats?

I am

a man who has made mistakes,

but if-if you revive me,

I will not make them again.

Great.

Then I'm not interested.

Isn't that what you wanted to hear?

You know, this school's already full of poseurs

denying their basic instincts.

I was hoping you were different.

Guess not.

I am in this state for the very sin that you desire.

I fed on so many humans back in my day

that it was no longer for hunger, it was merely sport.

The cobblestones, they ran red with blood.

Well, in that case...

I'll burn you after the party.

You deceived me.

Hi. Hi.

Uh...

you look amazing.

Thank you.

So do you.

Thank you.

Um...

Um...

Oh.

What did you get up to today?

Oh, you know,

little bit of this...

little bit of that.

Oh. Sorry.

Sorry, I... no, I'm sorry.

You?

Same.

You okay?

You seem... Yeah.

I was... with my dad.

It's fine now.

Oh.

Are you okay?

You just... you seem...

fidgety. No, no, I'm just, uh...

I'm just excited.

Landon.

You know that we don't have to...

dance tonight if you don't want to.

Really? Yeah.

Okay, cool.

We also totally don't have to have sex tonight.

Um... In case your use

of dancing wasn't a metaphor.

It was. Okay, good.

You're special.

To be special.

That moment we both look at each other...

and we both know.

That sounds nice.

Let's just enjoy the dance.

Yeah. Dance is that way.

I knew that. Right.

Hey.

I figured it out.

Sebastian's an O.G.

Cold-blooded killer.

For real? Yeah.

And I voted to let him out.

I... I wasn't thinking.

Oh, you were thinking, all right.

About Lizzie Saltzman.

But this is more proof that when you chase her,

you're not peak MG, you know?

I don't know what to do with that.

Dance it off.

DJ, hit me.

Yeah, all right, all right...

you need to take the deal, though.

I exist for one reason, too:

merge with my sister.

That's our destiny, right?

Unless...

I stayed here in a no-magic zone.

Maybe the merge wouldn't have to happen,

and Josie would be safe.

There's no way I'm gonna let you do that.

I know.

But you're not the only one who can be a martyr.

I knew you were the smart one.

Let's just get this over with. Oh!

Don't worry, it's not so bad being the Keeper.

And one day, maybe...

you'll find someone place.

I would never do that. Aw...

I told myself the exact same thing.

Be careful with it.

It's fragile.

And if it breaks,

you are not protected from the Minotaur anymore.

And my friend gets out, right?

She is set free from the eternal pain

of the labyrinth, yes.

That was very carefully worded.

She dies, okay?

That's what that means. Uh...

either she dies or you both do.

It's self-preservation, kiddo.

You're sick. You know, when I first took this deal,

the previous Keeper told me that this entire labyrinth

was built by a sorcerer

centuries ago to punish a beautiful maiden

who refused his affections.

Because she didn't exist just for him,

he punished her forever.

But she got out.

She traded places with another woman who came along,

who then trapped another woman,

and so on and so forth.

I mean, you can't really blame us for trying to escape,

can you?

It's every woman for herself.

That's the game.

I guess no one is the Keeper now.

I hope you know your maze as well as we do.

Sorry.

"Labyrinth."

Whoa!

Hey, Raf!

Hey. Looks like exposure therapy worked.

Depends. Uh,

did Hope show up? Not yet.

But she might show up still.

Hang in there. Okay? All right.

You look good.

Where did you get that?

Who's he?

This is Frank.

Thanks for your help. Thanks.

I thought you were taking the deal.

I realized it would be perpetuating the patriarchy.

There's always someone telling women

they only exist for one reason.

We even told it to ourselves.

I am done playing that game.

Screw endgame.

You've... found another way.

You killed the Minotaur.

Thank you.

Not that you deserved it.

And you definitely don't deserve this.

We've had enough of women hurting other women for one day.

Do you maybe want to dance somewhere else?

Only if that's a metaphor.

Hurry, we can still stop them. Wait.

For what?

We have to let them go.

Are you sure?

Motus.

This doesn't even have sleeves.

Why is this

so hard to take off?

You sure you want to do this?

I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

Do you have a condom?

I knew I forgot something.

Don't... stop, stop.

Do not move.

I'll be right back.

Wade!

Never mind.

Whatever.

So, your name's Wade, then?

Usually nobody gets it right.

Who are you?

Do you need, like, a camera

or something for the party?

No. No, no, no.

What I need, Wade, is...

a friend.

Yeah!

I don't get it.

We literally killed ourselves to get back here,

and you couldn't go through with it.

What you said before,

about destiny,

you were right.

You know, he and Josie, they look happy together.

Maybe there isn't only one way everything has to happen.

We don't exist for just one path.

And we don't exist for just one boy.

So let's dance.

Anything to keep me from picturing

Josie's tragic visit to the Shire.

Hey.

If you tell this to anyone,

I will deny it.

But I'm glad to have you back.

Mr. Williams,

sorry to interrupt.

All good, Landon. Do you remember

what we talked about earlier?

You were right.

Then, boy, what the hell are you doing here?

Uh, asking to borrow your car keys.

'Cause I need to make a quick...

A real quick... run into town.

Run into town?

Oh.

In that case,

you don't want my car keys.

You want the keys to the nurse's office.

You'll find what you're looking for in her desk.

No.

Not now, you stupid rats.

I have been listening to your tiny little rat claws

for months now...

Say hello to my little friend.

Hey. Um...

is everything okay?

Um...

would you be mad if I told you that I wanted to wait?

No.

Not at all. I'm sorry.

I just, um... It doesn't matter.

Whatever it is,

if you're not ready for it, neither am I.

We have all the time in the world, Josie.

Nothing's gonna change that.

You want a cup of tea?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey!

Hope?

Hey, Raf.

I was hoping to see you tonight.

Do you...

want to party with us?

Sure.

The witches are a little drunk.

You do realize

you go to the dopest school of all time, right?

You should probably tell that

to the dude behind you in the black coat.

Who are you talking about?

The one staring at you.

I must say, I'm surprised.

You're the last person I expected

to invite me for a drink.

Have a seat.

I ordered you something with an umbrella.

Look,

I want the school to succeed,

which means you have to succeed.

So, please,

So, please,

be better than I was.

That's a very low bar.

Is this the part where you punch me in the face?

Only in my mind.

I'll stay out of your way.

But remember...

you're responsible for people I love.

I'll drink to that.

Yes, please.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Where did you come from?

Oh, I've been here the whole time.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to be forward,

but I know your smell.

Uh, okay.

It's a stench, really,

a pit.

Malivore.

How do you know that name?

Ah, it's a long story.

Probably better if I just show you.