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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,089 --> 00:00:19,709 We think it's a sinkhole! It's awesome! 2 00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:22,076 - It's really not that awesome. - It's blowing my mind! 3 00:00:22,089 --> 00:00:23,762 How is a hole in the ground blowing your mind? 4 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,649 Look, I was a little bit skeptical at first, too, 5 00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:28,502 but we've been playing with this thing for three hours now, and it's fantastic. 6 00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:30,625 I'm sorry, can I ask how do you play with a goddamn hole? 7 00:00:30,632 --> 00:00:32,525 First, we just started, like, throwing things down it 8 00:00:32,538 --> 00:00:35,032 and then we never heard it land. It would just kind of rattle around down there. 9 00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:37,244 Then we got a flashlight to see if we could see the bottom. 10 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:40,103 We couldn't. Then I threw it down there, you know, to prove a point. 11 00:00:40,116 --> 00:00:40,896 What was the point? 12 00:00:40,902 --> 00:00:45,131 It was something to do with how metal travels faster than light or...? 13 00:00:45,144 --> 00:00:47,651 No, it was that light is either on or off. 14 00:00:47,663 --> 00:00:51,096 There's no speed to light. It's, it was an anti-science thing. 15 00:00:51,109 --> 00:00:53,185 This hole, it's very exciting, Dennis. 16 00:00:53,198 --> 00:00:56,105 I mean, it represents infinite possibilities. It's endless. 17 00:00:56,118 --> 00:00:57,867 What if there's, like, a mutant living down there? 18 00:00:57,886 --> 00:00:59,779 We can get him up and he can live in the bar with us. 19 00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:02,450 We've already got one mutant hanging out with us in the bar all the time. 20 00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:06,746 Hey, Frank, did you hear what I said? 21 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:09,139 I turned a frustrating conversation into a joke on you. 22 00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:12,238 - The, uh... thing. - Huh? Oh, y-yeah. 23 00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,634 Frank, what do you think about this hole? 24 00:01:14,659 --> 00:01:16,392 Pretty cool, huh? You want to do something with it? 25 00:01:16,412 --> 00:01:18,232 No. I don't. 26 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,215 In fact, something just dawned on me. 27 00:01:20,935 --> 00:01:22,535 I need to quit. 28 00:01:22,555 --> 00:01:24,682 Wha-What? What are, what are you talking about? 29 00:01:24,694 --> 00:01:26,834 I don't care anything about this hole. 30 00:01:26,847 --> 00:01:28,535 I-I'm passionless. 31 00:01:28,915 --> 00:01:30,622 What are you saying, Frank? 32 00:01:30,641 --> 00:01:34,265 I hereby officially retire from Paddy's Pub. 33 00:01:55,425 --> 00:02:05,425 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by 00:02:07,583 All right, now, with Frank retiring, 35 00:02:07,608 --> 00:02:10,802 I know we're all a little bit concerned about how that affects everyone's shares. 36 00:02:10,822 --> 00:02:14,675 Frank owned 51% of Paddy's Pub and we own 46%. 37 00:02:14,681 --> 00:02:17,593 Well, we did, not-not Dee. She-she doesn't own shit. 38 00:02:17,606 --> 00:02:19,377 - Yeah, I know. Goddamn it. - Yeah, yeah. 39 00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:21,361 And, Charlie, you actually gave up most of your shares 40 00:02:21,386 --> 00:02:23,746 for various sandwiches and snacks and sundries and things. 41 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,239 What the hell is a Franquito? 42 00:02:25,252 --> 00:02:27,815 It says Franquito owns three percent of Paddy's Pub? 43 00:02:27,829 --> 00:02:31,029 Oh, yeah, I don't know. That's probably one of Frank's weird shell corporations. 44 00:02:31,048 --> 00:02:33,015 It doesn't matter. Who gives a shit? It's only three percent. 45 00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:36,172 Whoever gets Frank's 51% is the majority shareholder. 46 00:02:36,191 --> 00:02:37,889 That is who controls the bar. 47 00:02:37,895 --> 00:02:40,304 That is who gets the throne. 48 00:02:40,909 --> 00:02:42,659 Oh, there-there's a throne? 49 00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:44,969 Oh, sorry. No, I was just referring to the desk chair 50 00:02:44,970 --> 00:02:46,717 as the throne 'cause that's where the boss man sits. 51 00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,997 Ugh, gross. That chair smells like Frank's butt. 52 00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:50,382 It's not actually Frank's butt; 53 00:02:50,407 --> 00:02:52,607 I think it's a combination of all of our butt smells, you know? 54 00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:53,561 - That's worse. - Yeah. 55 00:02:53,566 --> 00:02:55,034 Why would anybody want that chair? 56 00:02:55,047 --> 00:02:57,654 No, no, it's not about the chair itself. It's what the chair represents. 57 00:02:57,667 --> 00:03:00,284 - The chair represents power. Okay, well, all right. 58 00:03:00,303 --> 00:03:02,223 How do we divvy up Frank's shares then? 59 00:03:02,236 --> 00:03:05,945 Uh... Okay, well, um... 60 00:03:05,970 --> 00:03:08,779 - I'll-I'll take them. - You? You? 61 00:03:08,791 --> 00:03:10,430 You think we're gonna give the shares to the man who wants to 62 00:03:10,442 --> 00:03:12,835 pull a mutant from a mystery hole in the bar and live with him? 63 00:03:12,848 --> 00:03:14,925 All right, well, look, I'm just trying to come up with a system. 64 00:03:14,938 --> 00:03:17,378 - We got to have a system here... - Wait, wait, wait, wait! 65 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,105 We do have a system for this! 66 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,725 Paddy's Succession Plan, remember? 67 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:22,949 Oh, shit! Right. Yes, right! 68 00:03:22,955 --> 00:03:24,489 Paddy's Succession Plan. 69 00:03:24,509 --> 00:03:26,235 It was like a will that we drew up 70 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,900 to help us determine who would get each one of our shares 71 00:03:28,925 --> 00:03:31,499 in the very likely event of our untimely deaths, that's right. 72 00:03:31,518 --> 00:03:33,073 We drank, like, three bottles of tequila 73 00:03:33,098 --> 00:03:34,907 and then we started talking about our legacy 74 00:03:34,932 --> 00:03:37,599 - and how important that was to us. - Oh! Got to have a legacy. 75 00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:40,156 - Oh, here we go. On a paper plate, huh? - Oh, oh! Yeah, okay. 76 00:03:40,162 --> 00:03:42,709 - Read it! Read it! Read it! Read it! - "Paddy's succession plan. 77 00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,462 Paddy's Pub shall secure our legacy here, henceforth 78 00:03:45,487 --> 00:03:48,667 and forevermore throughout the birthright of our firstborn kin. 79 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,980 - Who had the pen here? - It makes sense. Don't be a bitch. 80 00:03:50,986 --> 00:03:55,527 What it means is every one of our shares gets passed down to our firstborn. 81 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:57,885 Right, right! Our firstborn! 82 00:03:57,898 --> 00:03:59,891 - The shares get passed down to the firstborn kin? - Yeah. 83 00:03:59,904 --> 00:04:01,507 We are the firstborn kin of Frank. 84 00:04:01,513 --> 00:04:04,560 Well, now, hang on, that's not, like, an official document. 85 00:04:04,580 --> 00:04:06,413 Uh, well, you signed it in your blood. 86 00:04:06,432 --> 00:04:08,694 Oh, that, yeah, there it is-- "Trundle," written in blood. 87 00:04:08,714 --> 00:04:10,927 Oh, yeah, I was going by Trundle at the time, wasn't I? 88 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:13,280 No, no, no. You were trying to write "Charlie" and you wrote "Trundle." 89 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,900 No, I was going by "Trundle the Great." 90 00:04:14,913 --> 00:04:16,533 You came up with that after you miswrote it. 91 00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:19,959 Well, look, the point is you can't just take the bar based on a paper plate. 92 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,148 Sorry, Charlie. 93 00:04:22,154 --> 00:04:23,854 I'm siding with Dennis and Dee. 94 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:25,207 I'm your humble servant. 95 00:04:25,213 --> 00:04:26,607 You're just gonna give it to them?! 96 00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:28,793 That's a binding contract. Okay? You wrote it in blood. 97 00:04:28,806 --> 00:04:31,693 That's gonna hold up in a court of law and I know when to pick a side. 98 00:04:31,699 --> 00:04:34,342 - I'm siding with Dennis and Dee. - Wait, hold on a second. 99 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,861 You guys aren't even actually Frank's kid. 100 00:04:36,867 --> 00:04:41,234 You're Bruce Mathis' kid, all right? And I technically might be Frank's kid. 101 00:04:42,941 --> 00:04:44,637 Charlie, I pledge my allegiance to you. 102 00:04:44,650 --> 00:04:46,130 - No, no, no, no. - Wait a second, no. 103 00:04:46,141 --> 00:04:48,784 - But Frank is a Reynolds and we are Reynolds. - Yup, we're Reynolds. 104 00:04:48,797 --> 00:04:50,830 Yeah, and it's the name that carries on the line, 105 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,581 not maybe being someone's bastard kid. 106 00:04:54,382 --> 00:04:56,955 It was always you guys. I tricked him, I tricked him. It was always you. 107 00:04:56,961 --> 00:04:58,727 It is the blood that binds. 108 00:04:59,279 --> 00:05:01,426 And his blood is pumping through my veins. 109 00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:02,988 And I shall prove it. 110 00:05:05,199 --> 00:05:08,053 This is a little bit harder because he might win 'cause he has some good points. 111 00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:09,026 But you guys might win... 112 00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:11,586 - We don't give a shit about what you're talking about! - It doesn't matter. 113 00:05:18,713 --> 00:05:20,952 Hey-o! There's my guy! 114 00:05:20,958 --> 00:05:23,098 Hey, I got a piping hot Grilled Frank for you, okay? 115 00:05:23,104 --> 00:05:24,997 I got the sausage, the Spam, the bacon. 116 00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:27,830 I got it wrapped in a jelly pancake and cooked with a stick of butter. 117 00:05:27,843 --> 00:05:29,697 I don't want that, Charlie. 118 00:05:29,715 --> 00:05:31,348 I'm trying to get in shape. 119 00:05:31,361 --> 00:05:34,721 I read all about this phenomenon that guys' bodies 120 00:05:34,746 --> 00:05:38,731 immediately turn to shit the second they retire. 121 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,370 - Oh, yeah? - I got to work on it. 122 00:05:40,389 --> 00:05:43,429 All right, well, you know, just-just take a peek, see if you like it. 123 00:05:43,435 --> 00:05:45,394 Uh, hey, listen, man, can I ask you something? 124 00:05:46,119 --> 00:05:46,899 What? 125 00:05:46,912 --> 00:05:49,367 Are you, like, um... 126 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,019 my dad? 127 00:05:51,038 --> 00:05:51,778 What? 128 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,350 Are, like... are you the-the father of me and shit? 129 00:05:54,356 --> 00:05:55,956 - We've-we've been over this. - Yeah. 130 00:05:55,962 --> 00:05:57,670 - Your mother's a giant whore. - Right. 131 00:05:57,682 --> 00:05:59,250 I don't want to stress about this, Charlie. 132 00:05:59,256 --> 00:06:02,605 I'm retired. Leave me alone. I want to watch a little TV. 133 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:05,045 - Yeah. All right. - Charlie, hey... Oh. 134 00:06:05,051 --> 00:06:07,322 - Hey, can I talk to you for a sec? - Uh, yeah. Hey. 135 00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,775 Hey, um, I came up with a really great idea, dude. 136 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,702 Yeah? 137 00:06:11,715 --> 00:06:14,073 I'm gonna play both sides. 138 00:06:15,019 --> 00:06:16,752 Why would you tell me that? 139 00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:17,599 Should I not have? 140 00:06:17,624 --> 00:06:20,784 Probably shouldn't 'cause if you're trying to keep a secret from me, well, now I know. 141 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,851 I should've... Should I tell them? 142 00:06:21,857 --> 00:06:23,342 No, I don't think you should tell either side 143 00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:25,620 'cause if you try to play both sides and they both know, 144 00:06:25,645 --> 00:06:27,605 - you're not playing anybody. - What should I do now? 145 00:06:27,611 --> 00:06:30,051 I don't... I don't give a shit. Why are you here? 146 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,759 I'm here to prove my allegiance to you. 147 00:06:31,772 --> 00:06:34,318 Because I believe that you're the rightful heir. 148 00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:35,311 Okay, whatever. 149 00:06:35,336 --> 00:06:37,729 - All right, well, I see... I see that you don't believe me. - Why would I? 150 00:06:37,735 --> 00:06:39,828 So I am prepared to take a blood oath with you. 151 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,835 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 152 00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:44,377 Oh, my God, dude! Oh, that was Frank's toe knife! 153 00:06:44,390 --> 00:06:46,616 Oh, it hurts so much. All right, quick, shake on it. 154 00:06:46,622 --> 00:06:48,556 - No, I'm not gonna touch your blood. - Do you have something I could... 155 00:06:48,581 --> 00:06:50,694 - I got to close this wound. - Yeah, here, just plug it up. 156 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,493 That was so not as cool as I thought it was gonna be. 157 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,467 That sock's probably gonna get it more infected, though. 158 00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:56,658 All right, look, look, look, look, dude. 159 00:06:57,065 --> 00:06:59,345 We got to prove that Frank is your dad. 160 00:06:59,359 --> 00:07:02,128 Dude, he-he doesn't even want to have that conversation with me, okay? 161 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:03,917 And he's certainly not gonna get tested, you know? 162 00:07:03,930 --> 00:07:05,315 He's really resistant to the whole thing. 163 00:07:06,153 --> 00:07:08,289 All right, well, then we're gonna have to do some testing of our own. 164 00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:09,182 Yeah? 165 00:07:09,188 --> 00:07:11,994 I can choke a man out in four seconds flat. 166 00:07:12,019 --> 00:07:13,280 Oh, yeah? 167 00:07:13,293 --> 00:07:15,906 - Yeah, I guess we could try that, or, uh... - All right. 168 00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:18,266 You know, I could probably take his blood right now. He's out. 169 00:07:19,715 --> 00:07:21,075 He's staring right at us. 170 00:07:21,088 --> 00:07:24,192 Yeah, he's been falling asleep with his eyes open like that, but he's way out. 171 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,088 I mean, we could prick him. He won't feel a thing. Frank! 172 00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:35,646 - Anything? - Nothing! 173 00:07:36,139 --> 00:07:37,546 Not a single butt smell to that. 174 00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,192 - How is that possible? - I don't know. 175 00:07:39,206 --> 00:07:40,813 It's either this guy's butt or this brand of chair. 176 00:07:40,818 --> 00:07:42,113 It's got to be the brand, right? 177 00:07:42,119 --> 00:07:43,779 All right, we got to get one of these for our throne. 178 00:07:43,792 --> 00:07:45,505 - Yeah. Yeah. Hey! - Hey! 179 00:07:45,518 --> 00:07:48,430 Hey, what do you say, Doc? So, what is the verdict? 180 00:07:48,443 --> 00:07:51,194 - Is Frank Charlie's dad or not? - I don't know. 181 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,140 I don't know who that is. 182 00:07:52,165 --> 00:07:53,997 What I do know is I came to work this morning 183 00:07:54,022 --> 00:07:56,682 to find a very large bucket of blood in my lab. 184 00:07:56,695 --> 00:08:00,266 Yeah, well, that's the sample, obviously, and, uh, you know, if it's too big, 185 00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:02,007 it's because Frank sprung a little bit of a leak there. 186 00:08:02,018 --> 00:08:03,900 Yeah, it was a mess, huh? 187 00:08:03,912 --> 00:08:05,740 - He was bleeding like crazy. - There was blood everywhere, 188 00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:06,865 but we caught enough of it, I think. 189 00:08:06,871 --> 00:08:08,824 Yeah, we must have cut a deep vein or something. 190 00:08:08,837 --> 00:08:10,878 Wait a second. Most of this came from one man? 191 00:08:10,897 --> 00:08:13,398 Did we take too much? I-I didn't think that we took too much. 192 00:08:13,423 --> 00:08:15,317 Yes. You took too much. 193 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:18,263 Also, there's traces of more than four individuals in here 194 00:08:18,268 --> 00:08:20,035 and at least one animal. 195 00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:22,945 Was there blood in the bucket before? 196 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:25,783 It is a blood bucket, so yeah, there was old blood. 197 00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,362 I didn't come here to get sassed, okay? 198 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:29,389 I came here to get an answer to my question. 199 00:08:29,395 --> 00:08:31,102 So is Frank Charlie's dad or not? 200 00:08:31,108 --> 00:08:32,591 The only thing that I can tell you is that, 201 00:08:32,616 --> 00:08:34,364 based off of how much blood is in this bucket, 202 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:37,229 your friend is in desperate need of blood. 203 00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:42,683 All right, Dee, the bar is finally ours. 204 00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,129 Let's talk redecoration. 205 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:47,296 Well, I'm thinking chrome, and I'm thinking chrome everywhere. 206 00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:49,822 The other thing that's important to me is a proper dance floor. 207 00:08:49,842 --> 00:08:52,158 That way, any time I want to just pop a boogie, 208 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:55,230 I can do it wherever I am, and it won't be weird, you know what I mean? 209 00:08:55,255 --> 00:08:58,022 - Okay. - Oh, think of it, brother. 210 00:08:58,036 --> 00:09:00,996 With them out of the way, we can do as we please. 211 00:09:01,003 --> 00:09:03,756 Two butts, one throne. 212 00:09:04,808 --> 00:09:06,635 All right, you know what, you've been doing this all day. 213 00:09:06,655 --> 00:09:09,048 - Why are you talking like that? - I'm just being... I'm being arch. 214 00:09:09,061 --> 00:09:11,708 - Why? - Well, because we're being devious and we're plotting, 215 00:09:11,726 --> 00:09:15,153 and I just wanted to make sure that it was clear that we were devious and plotting. 216 00:09:15,159 --> 00:09:17,008 You don't need to indicate to me that you're being devious 217 00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:18,187 when you're actually being devious. 218 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,410 I guess I had some concerns that you wouldn't pick up on it 219 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,531 if I didn't make it super clear. 220 00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:23,210 Yeah, but the problem is if you start doing that, 221 00:09:23,223 --> 00:09:25,532 - everybody's gonna pick up on it. And that defeats the purpose. - Yeah, got it. 222 00:09:25,544 --> 00:09:28,717 Dennis, Dee, quickly-- we don't have much time. 223 00:09:28,737 --> 00:09:30,302 Charlie and I doctored a paternity test 224 00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:32,767 to make it look like Frank is Charlie's dad. 225 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,795 But the tests were actually inconclusive; 226 00:09:34,820 --> 00:09:37,127 There was too much blood in the bucket to tell. 227 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:39,177 The reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm playing 228 00:09:39,196 --> 00:09:41,769 both sides so that I always come out on top. 229 00:09:41,776 --> 00:09:44,447 So, with this information, I'm gonna leverage you guys 230 00:09:44,472 --> 00:09:47,179 into making me the head of security at the new Paddy's Pub. 231 00:09:47,185 --> 00:09:50,278 - Mm. - O-Okay, okay, couple things right off the bat, there, pal. 232 00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:53,669 Number one, um, never tell one side that you're playing both sides. 233 00:09:53,682 --> 00:09:56,855 - Yeah. - And number two, if you are gonna play both sides, 234 00:09:56,880 --> 00:10:00,060 don't give away the information before you get what you want. 235 00:10:00,073 --> 00:10:01,174 Oh, shit. 236 00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:03,745 Right, don't give away the in-information. 237 00:10:03,758 --> 00:10:06,380 - Yeah. - All right, well, if I am gonna play both sides, what should I do? 238 00:10:06,386 --> 00:10:08,393 - Oops. - You're still telling us that you're playing both sides, 239 00:10:08,406 --> 00:10:09,406 so why would we help you? 240 00:10:09,419 --> 00:10:13,092 Uh... Okay, well, what if I make a blood oath... uh, allegiance to you guys? 241 00:10:13,105 --> 00:10:14,118 - Oh! - Ooh. 242 00:10:14,131 --> 00:10:14,905 Gross. 243 00:10:14,924 --> 00:10:18,114 Yeah, I, uh, I sliced it with Frank's toe knife and, uh, 244 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,112 it's not bleeding anymore, but maybe I could... 245 00:10:20,125 --> 00:10:22,321 - Oh, yeah, here, I'll just get it again. - Oh! 246 00:10:22,906 --> 00:10:24,573 - Oh, shit! - Oh, God! 247 00:10:24,578 --> 00:10:26,053 Jesus, dude, that was the lime knife. 248 00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:28,865 Oh, I feel that-- it stings. Oh, Dee, here, shake my hand. 249 00:10:28,872 --> 00:10:30,512 - No, get away from me, gross. - Aah. Dennis? 250 00:10:30,525 --> 00:10:31,719 No, your blood is disgusting. 251 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:33,948 - Aah. What should I do? - Go to the doctor. 252 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,791 Mac, why the hell'd you sprint ahead of me, man? 253 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:37,291 Oh, 'cause I'm playing both sides. 254 00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,827 - Jesus Christ. - Wow. 255 00:10:38,832 --> 00:10:40,006 It doesn't matter. Okay, guys, 256 00:10:40,018 --> 00:10:42,596 I got some documentation here proving that I am the rightful heir 257 00:10:42,621 --> 00:10:43,703 - to Frank's butt chair. - Yeah. 258 00:10:43,716 --> 00:10:45,176 All right, Charlie, save it, save it. 259 00:10:45,196 --> 00:10:48,569 Mac already told us that that's not a real paternity test. 260 00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,690 What the hell, dude? You swore a blood oath to me. 261 00:10:50,702 --> 00:10:52,555 Dude, you never touched my blood, okay? 262 00:10:52,562 --> 00:10:54,998 All right, you know what, if you really want to work here... 263 00:10:55,005 --> 00:10:56,793 - kick Charlie out of here. - Hmm. 264 00:10:57,714 --> 00:10:59,034 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 265 00:10:59,053 --> 00:11:01,144 No problem, dude. Charlie, let's go, bud, get... 266 00:11:02,658 --> 00:11:04,138 All right, dude, I'm gonna carry you out. 267 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:08,223 Oh, shit. Oh, my God, he is so heavy. 268 00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:10,129 He's, like, grounding himself with something. 269 00:11:10,142 --> 00:11:12,605 Oh, now he's going limp. No, come on, dude, that's not fair. 270 00:11:12,624 --> 00:11:14,894 Help me out, here, Charlie. Help me out. 271 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,839 That's it, dude, that's it. I'm choking you out. 272 00:11:16,852 --> 00:11:19,272 - Okay. - You're going out, dude, you're going to sleep. 273 00:11:19,285 --> 00:11:21,450 Good night, dude, good night, bitch. 274 00:11:28,203 --> 00:11:30,337 Your head of security just choked himself out. 275 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,576 Hey, Frank, I know you're trying to be healthy, 276 00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:40,628 so I got you a hoagie with extra pickles in it-- 277 00:11:40,653 --> 00:11:42,246 I figured you could use the veggies and stuff... 278 00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:43,523 Oh, shit! 279 00:11:44,353 --> 00:11:45,641 Hi, Charlie. 280 00:11:46,242 --> 00:11:48,029 What... What's going on with you, man? 281 00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:50,174 I forgot to dye my hair this morning. 282 00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:51,514 What's up with your teeth? 283 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:55,014 I was eating some of Deandra's pyramid scheme berries. 284 00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:56,502 I was trying to get healthy. 285 00:11:56,527 --> 00:11:57,474 Right. 286 00:11:57,487 --> 00:11:59,400 I feel a little light-headed. 287 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,476 All right, well, I'm sure it's nothing, you know. 288 00:12:01,489 --> 00:12:04,228 Probably just, like, tired from working hard and then... 289 00:12:04,232 --> 00:12:07,419 You know, the body crashes when... O-Oh, shit, did you fall asleep again? 290 00:12:08,189 --> 00:12:10,465 - Frank? - Is he dead? 291 00:12:10,478 --> 00:12:11,965 - Oh, shit. - He looks bad. 292 00:12:11,978 --> 00:12:13,219 What are you sneaking up on me for? 293 00:12:13,231 --> 00:12:15,360 Oh, listen, Dennis is acting weird and I don't like it. 294 00:12:15,373 --> 00:12:17,886 Now, I know he's got something planned, but he's not indicating, 295 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,062 - so I don't know what it is. - Right. 296 00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:23,127 - No, I get that, I guess, so, yeah. - Yes, yes, exactly, Charlie, 297 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:28,188 so here's the plan: We need to outsmart him before he can have us murdered... 298 00:12:28,201 --> 00:12:30,211 - Are you okay? - ...and throw us in... Hmm? 299 00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:32,402 Do you need a glass of water or something? 300 00:12:32,427 --> 00:12:33,587 No, I'm good. 301 00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:35,632 - What are... W-What's happening? - I'm... I'm being arch. 302 00:12:35,639 --> 00:12:37,852 - Oh. Oh. - We're doing a thing together, so you know... 303 00:12:37,859 --> 00:12:39,699 Yeah, no, I know, just 'cause you're telling me what's up. 304 00:12:39,711 --> 00:12:41,531 Okay, okay, fine. The point is 305 00:12:41,556 --> 00:12:43,483 we got to prove that you're the rightful heir to the throne. 306 00:12:43,496 --> 00:12:45,302 Yes, of course, that's why I got this plastic bag, 307 00:12:45,327 --> 00:12:46,784 'cause my blood bucket was inconclusive. 308 00:12:46,797 --> 00:12:47,890 You just need a couple drops. 309 00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:49,737 - Right, yeah. - So let's open him up. 310 00:12:49,756 --> 00:12:51,779 Yeah, all right, but you know, we got to be careful, you know, 311 00:12:51,785 --> 00:12:53,439 'cause I think I took too much blood last time. 312 00:12:53,452 --> 00:12:54,619 - Is that what's going on? - Yeah. 313 00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:55,979 Okay, well, you just need a couple drops. 314 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:58,489 - Yeah, all right, just a prick, just a little prick. - Just a prick. Okay. 315 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,021 Oh, my God, so much blood! 316 00:13:01,046 --> 00:13:03,439 - Oh, so much blood, I think we hit an artery, Dee, look at this. - Yeah. 317 00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:04,705 - Oh, shit. - Is he okay? 318 00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,770 No, he's okay, you know, the duct tape'll stop it. 319 00:13:06,783 --> 00:13:08,983 Okay, let's just get... Wait, oh, shit, this is leaking. 320 00:13:08,991 --> 00:13:10,606 Oh, no. Oh, shit, I'm holding it... 321 00:13:10,619 --> 00:13:12,825 Wait, wait, stop, stop! Oh, damn it. 322 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:14,998 Shoot, Charlie, I'm sorry, I was trying to help. 323 00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,068 Can't imagine it was gonna be a very good sample anyway-- 324 00:13:17,093 --> 00:13:18,884 there are quite a few pickles floating around in that bag. 325 00:13:18,897 --> 00:13:20,623 - Yeah, what I was thinking. - Shit. 326 00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:23,177 Wait a second-- which one of you and Dennis was firstborn? 327 00:13:23,197 --> 00:13:24,995 - We're twins. - No, I know, I know, but, like, 328 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:26,848 who did Barbara actually, like, pop out first? 329 00:13:26,861 --> 00:13:28,024 Oh, shit. 330 00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:31,680 Oh, Charlie. "Worst is first!" 331 00:13:31,693 --> 00:13:33,168 - What is that? - "Worst is first." 332 00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,505 My mom used to say that to me all the time because I was first 333 00:13:35,530 --> 00:13:36,870 and she thought I was the worst. 334 00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:39,542 - Holy shit, that's terrible, but that's good for us. - Yeah! Yeah! 335 00:13:39,562 --> 00:13:42,008 Okay, so that means you're the rightful heir to the butt chair. 336 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,376 So, all right, we can work with that. All right, let's get out of here, 337 00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:46,513 - come on, we can't tell anybody about this, all right? - Okay, okay. 338 00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,068 Let's... All right, let's just go. 339 00:13:52,882 --> 00:13:54,591 Always hated these. 340 00:13:55,037 --> 00:13:56,184 So that's gonna change. 341 00:13:56,190 --> 00:13:59,240 Worst is first, dude, worst is first. 342 00:13:59,259 --> 00:14:02,646 - What are you talking about, man? - Dee is conspiring against you. 343 00:14:03,173 --> 00:14:04,503 Charlie figured it out. 344 00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:06,394 "Worst is first." 345 00:14:06,409 --> 00:14:08,569 Charlie and Dee were getting blood from Frank 346 00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:11,880 when Charlie realized Dee was born first. 347 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:13,607 Therefore, she's the rightful heir. 348 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:15,806 Then I got a little bit more blood from Frank, 349 00:14:15,831 --> 00:14:17,688 'cause I feel like we're probably gonna use it in the future 350 00:14:17,713 --> 00:14:20,020 - and he was already opened up, so who gives a shit? - Okay, all right. 351 00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:21,512 How'd you get all this information? 352 00:14:21,518 --> 00:14:23,825 I was hiding in Frank's apartment, 353 00:14:23,850 --> 00:14:26,817 and then they went out into the hallway and I heard them through the door. 354 00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:30,245 Dude, the best part is I'm gonna use this information to leverage you 355 00:14:30,258 --> 00:14:32,220 into giving me a better position under your reign. 356 00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:33,718 You just told me the infor... 357 00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:36,121 You know what? Forget it. Good job. 358 00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:38,801 Um, how about the position of my pawn, how's that sound? 359 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:41,224 - Pawn. Pawns are cool, there's a lot of them, you know. - Yeah. 360 00:14:41,243 --> 00:14:42,410 They move diagonally. 361 00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:44,399 I've always thought that I move a little bit too much forward 362 00:14:44,412 --> 00:14:46,634 and back and I should be more like... like... 363 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:49,173 'Cause then, you can't see me if I'm coming at you like this. 364 00:14:49,193 --> 00:14:51,454 Like, sideways. Well, watch. 365 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,829 Well, don't move your head, dude. All right, what if you keep your head 366 00:14:53,842 --> 00:14:56,222 - there but close your eyes... - You know, it doesn't matter. 367 00:14:56,235 --> 00:14:57,932 I need you to do something for me. 368 00:15:06,284 --> 00:15:08,717 Oh... oh, my God. That is crazy. 369 00:15:08,737 --> 00:15:10,691 It's the smell of a thousand butts. 370 00:15:10,716 --> 00:15:13,229 Hey! Dennis! Dennis, I did your bidding. 371 00:15:13,235 --> 00:15:14,742 - Good. - Yeah. 372 00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,335 Frank is on his way. 373 00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:19,841 But dude, whatever it is you got planned, you better do it fast, 374 00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:22,244 because if Dee and Charlie get that birth certificate, you're screwed. 375 00:15:22,257 --> 00:15:24,461 Look, Mac, I told you, I've got it under control. 376 00:15:24,473 --> 00:15:26,768 Everything is going according to my plan. 377 00:15:26,787 --> 00:15:27,476 Right. 378 00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:30,282 - Worst is first! - Worst is first! 379 00:15:30,289 --> 00:15:33,709 Oh, brother, looks as though you've underest... - Stop doing that. 380 00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:34,754 - It doesn't work. - No? 381 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,167 Look, we found the birth certificate proving Dee was born first. 382 00:15:37,180 --> 00:15:38,045 - Mm-hmm. - Worst is first. 383 00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:40,498 Worst is first, yeah, and then Charlie and I, we made a blood oath, 384 00:15:40,511 --> 00:15:42,227 - so now we're in cahoots. - Yeah! 385 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,440 Hey, Trundle, can I get in on that? 386 00:15:43,459 --> 00:15:44,549 - Ugh! - I'm on their side. 387 00:15:44,562 --> 00:15:46,470 - Nasty. - You idiots. 388 00:15:46,490 --> 00:15:48,095 Did you not think that I had anticipated this? 389 00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:49,973 While you were running around town like lunatics, 390 00:15:49,998 --> 00:15:53,298 chopping your hands to bits, I did a little bit of research. 391 00:15:53,311 --> 00:15:56,844 Turns out Franquito isn't a shell corporation after all. 392 00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:57,871 He's a person. 393 00:15:58,441 --> 00:16:02,088 - Dee, you remember Josefina, our maid from the early '80s? - Yeah. 394 00:16:02,107 --> 00:16:04,394 Well, it turns out Frank had been banging her for years, 395 00:16:04,419 --> 00:16:07,306 and just before we were born, he was. 396 00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:09,144 Franquito! 397 00:16:09,157 --> 00:16:10,489 Ven acá! 398 00:16:12,749 --> 00:16:14,129 Holy shit! 399 00:16:14,142 --> 00:16:15,394 - Whoa! - What? 400 00:16:15,414 --> 00:16:17,014 Yeah, look upon him. 401 00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:19,544 Yeah, he doesn't speak any English, by the way, so don't try talking to him. 402 00:16:19,557 --> 00:16:20,884 But we worked something out. 403 00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,944 Yeah, Frank's shares go to him, 'cause he's the firstborn... 404 00:16:23,969 --> 00:16:25,949 and then Franquito signs to me. 405 00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:28,250 It's game, set and match. 406 00:16:31,099 --> 00:16:32,580 Holy shit. 407 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:35,804 What is happening right now? 408 00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,083 I'm not... 409 00:16:37,095 --> 00:16:39,095 I'm not feeling so well. 410 00:16:39,715 --> 00:16:41,916 Retirement is difficult. 411 00:16:43,257 --> 00:16:44,817 Anyway... hey, Frank! 412 00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:46,834 Guess who this is. 413 00:16:46,841 --> 00:16:48,486 Haven't seen him in a while, have you? 414 00:16:48,511 --> 00:16:51,126 ♪ ♪ 415 00:16:51,146 --> 00:16:52,341 Come closer. 416 00:16:53,582 --> 00:16:54,889 It's your son. 417 00:16:55,697 --> 00:16:57,150 Franquito. 418 00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:00,780 Yes. 419 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:04,155 Of course it is. 420 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,114 Look how beautiful he is. 421 00:17:08,024 --> 00:17:10,752 Oh! My one true child. 422 00:17:10,777 --> 00:17:12,104 Come closer. 423 00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:14,869 Oh! 424 00:17:14,875 --> 00:17:18,230 You give me so much joy right now. 425 00:17:18,236 --> 00:17:21,076 And, so, Frank, the bar shall go to him. 426 00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:21,749 Oh! 427 00:17:21,762 --> 00:17:23,389 Just need you to sign here and here. 428 00:17:23,394 --> 00:17:27,525 When a man is no longer needed in the tribe, 429 00:17:27,550 --> 00:17:29,602 his body betrays him. 430 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:30,296 Yeah. 431 00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:33,254 When he has no purpose, 432 00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:36,433 the blood seems to drain from his body, 433 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:40,397 leaving him a shell of the man he once was. 434 00:17:40,416 --> 00:17:42,263 All right, I don't know where you're going with this, but can you just sign? 435 00:17:42,276 --> 00:17:44,001 I'm unretiring. 436 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:44,901 Wh-What?! 437 00:17:44,914 --> 00:17:46,374 I have a plan. 438 00:17:46,387 --> 00:17:48,287 I will retain all, 439 00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:54,198 and Franquito will help me run the bar as my number two. 440 00:17:55,411 --> 00:17:57,910 Speaking of number two... 441 00:17:58,315 --> 00:18:00,043 - Oh! - Dude. - Oh! 442 00:18:00,508 --> 00:18:01,973 Damn it! Come on. I just cleaned that. 443 00:18:01,992 --> 00:18:03,975 That's Frank's butt smell. That is it. I told you. 444 00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,634 - That is the exact smell of the chair. - Oh, no! 445 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,747 Everything is better than it was before. 446 00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:09,046 - No, it isn't. - No. 447 00:18:09,065 --> 00:18:13,099 - It's so much worse. - I have my son to rule with me. 448 00:18:13,112 --> 00:18:14,351 No, you don't. 449 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:18,595 - What do you mean? - Because Franquito's not your son. 450 00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:20,874 - I made it all up. - What?! How?! 451 00:18:20,886 --> 00:18:22,394 All right, look, guys, it's very simple. 452 00:18:22,407 --> 00:18:25,460 Seven years ago, I walked into a Wahwah, and I saw this guy, 453 00:18:25,485 --> 00:18:29,332 and I thought, "Holy shit! That guy looks just like Frank, but, you know, Mexican." 454 00:18:29,345 --> 00:18:32,652 And then I came up with a plan where I could make Frank believe 455 00:18:32,671 --> 00:18:35,949 that he had a son with our maid Josefina all those years ago, 456 00:18:35,955 --> 00:18:38,486 and I could bilk him out of a shitload of money under the guise 457 00:18:38,505 --> 00:18:40,375 that the money was all going to his firstborn son, 458 00:18:40,381 --> 00:18:42,950 Franquito, when, in fact, the money was going to me. 459 00:18:42,963 --> 00:18:44,816 And it worked, too. It was a good plan. 460 00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:46,510 Yeah, but that's, like... 461 00:18:46,535 --> 00:18:50,266 incredibly devious, dude. I mean, you've been screwing Frank for years? 462 00:18:50,283 --> 00:18:53,091 I mean, you guys would have done that, too, right, if you'd thought of it? 463 00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:55,367 - Uh, I don't... I don't know. - I don't know, man. I mean... 464 00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:57,701 Yeah, I think you guys would have, but, either way, 465 00:18:57,726 --> 00:18:59,636 it doesn't matter, you know, 'cause everything is, uh, 466 00:18:59,661 --> 00:19:01,691 as it should be, so let's grab some drinks. 467 00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:03,944 No, no, everything is not as it should be. 468 00:19:03,964 --> 00:19:05,361 You tried to screw us out of the bar. 469 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:07,217 - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you tried to steal the bar. - No, no, no, no, 470 00:19:07,242 --> 00:19:09,022 I was trying to get things to go back to the way they were-- 471 00:19:09,047 --> 00:19:10,637 get him back on the throne, and, you know, 472 00:19:10,662 --> 00:19:13,524 so we could get back to doing all the things that we love to do at Paddy's, 473 00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:16,722 you know, like, um, finding out what's at the bottom of a hole. 474 00:19:17,293 --> 00:19:18,566 - Shit. - Right? Did we ever? 475 00:19:18,579 --> 00:19:20,297 Did you guys ever find out what was at the bottom of that? 476 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:21,472 No, we dropped it completely. 477 00:19:21,497 --> 00:19:24,450 - Yeah. - Oh, shit, dude. There could be a Goonies situation down there, right? 478 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,576 - That. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, yeah. - Yeah, we were discussing it. 479 00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:28,557 - You know, the hole... The hole in the bathroom? - You feeling better? 480 00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:29,636 Yeah, I feel pretty good about this. 481 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,173 All right, come on, let's go check it out. 482 00:19:31,193 --> 00:19:33,200 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Let's get in the bathroom. 483 00:19:33,207 --> 00:19:36,244 - You want to try to flush that thing one more time? - Ah, the hole. 484 00:19:36,257 --> 00:19:39,336 Oh, I'm so excited things are back to the way they were. 485 00:19:41,141 --> 00:19:42,465 Yes. 486 00:19:43,201 --> 00:19:47,445 Go play in your little hole, you fools. 487 00:19:47,452 --> 00:19:50,465 You still need me to stick around, or can I...? 488 00:19:50,485 --> 00:19:52,860 No, Franquito. We're done here. 489 00:19:53,679 --> 00:19:56,099 - Can I get my five bucks? - Yes, you can get your five bucks. 490 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,492 Goddamn, you're a greedy bastard. 491 00:19:57,499 --> 00:20:04,499 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by

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