All language subtitles for Horrible Histories The Movie Rotten Romans 2019 WEB-DL AAC AVC 720p.EN

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:23,625 Adaptarea: Legendofmir Traducerea: DOOMNEZEU 2 00:00:44,917 --> 00:00:47,167 That's really not good for your tonsils, that. 3 00:00:47,292 --> 00:00:49,708 Right, that's enough of the logos. 4 00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:53,292 I bet you've all finished your popcorn, in the time it took to watch all that. 5 00:00:53,375 --> 00:00:56,292 Can we please start the movie? 6 00:01:04,333 --> 00:01:05,667 Ancient Rome. 7 00:01:05,792 --> 00:01:07,875 The centre of civilisation. 8 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:09,625 "Wasn't built in a day, you know". 9 00:01:09,708 --> 00:01:12,083 Although that was the builder's original estimate. 10 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:13,542 Little joke for builders, there. 11 00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:15,375 What's that other saying? 12 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,083 "All sewers lead to Rome ". 13 00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,458 Yeah that's the one. 14 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:24,083 Cor, look at the manure on that cart. 15 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,042 It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet. 16 00:01:27,708 --> 00:01:31,708 Anyway, it's 54AD, and Emperor Claudius is in charge here. 17 00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:33,750 But maybe not for long... 18 00:01:34,167 --> 00:01:36,875 Doom! Doom! 19 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,042 The chicken guts speak the future. 20 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:44,125 Betrayal, conspiracy and death! 21 00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:47,375 In other words, just a normal day in Rome, really. 22 00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:49,458 Has anyone seen my chicken? 23 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,917 No, not me. 24 00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,917 I am done for! 25 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:02,042 Poisoned! 26 00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:13,500 I journey to the underworld, happy that I, Claudius shall ever he remembered 27 00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:20,125 as the roman emperor who finally, conquered Britain. 28 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:22,667 Where's Britain? 29 00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,417 Is that part of the empire? 30 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,125 I thought it was just a weird stain. 31 00:02:28,083 --> 00:02:30,167 Where's the doctor? 32 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,750 Actually, I'm feeling a lot better now 33 00:02:32,833 --> 00:02:34,292 I don't think I need a doctor. 34 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,417 Darling, you can't be too careful. 35 00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:38,458 Doctor, come quickly, it's my husband. 36 00:02:38,667 --> 00:02:40,375 What's the matter? - He's not dying! 37 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:42,125 Not dying? 38 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:43,726 Between me and you, Mother poisoned him with some mushrooms 39 00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:44,750 but he's thrown them up. 40 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:47,042 So, I want you to tickle his throat 41 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,625 with this poisoned feather 42 00:02:48,958 --> 00:02:50,000 and finish the job. 43 00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:51,542 I couldn't possibly. 44 00:02:51,792 --> 00:02:52,875 Or you'll be next. 45 00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:57,000 Emperor? - No, really 46 00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:58,333 I'm feeling OK, now. 47 00:02:58,375 --> 00:03:00,083 Open wide, say "Ah ". 48 00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:05,708 Yes, get in! 49 00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:07,750 Sorry, can I... 50 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:08,833 Who's in charge now? 51 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,250 All hail my son 52 00:03:13,417 --> 00:03:15,375 Emperor Nero. 53 00:03:15,958 --> 00:03:18,250 THEY CHANT " NERO" 54 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:20,917 Hail me, cheers, mum. 55 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,625 Ruler of the whole roman Empire 56 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:23,750 Even that stainy bit. 57 00:03:23,958 --> 00:03:26,333 Except, I'll be ruling until you come of age. 58 00:03:26,417 --> 00:03:28,875 What? That's not for another 5 years. 59 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,792 Hu? 60 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:02,583 Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats 61 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:05,417 as the Emperor Nero birthday games will begin shortly. 62 00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:09,125 Would the owner of the blue chariot registration CXB 63 00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:11,917 Please remove it as it is obstructing the arena gates. 64 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:14,125 Look at the queue! 65 00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:17,375 - Why is it always so long? - It's a bottleneck. 66 00:04:18,042 --> 00:04:21,322 A big crowd going through a narrow entrance, causes an impediment to the flow. 67 00:04:21,625 --> 00:04:22,792 Don't be clever, Atti. 68 00:04:23,333 --> 00:04:25,125 I think we should limit your scroll time. 69 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:27,583 - What? - We're here to see real men fighting. 70 00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,917 Get stuck into real roman life, son. 71 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:32,792 - Julia! - Ave Flavia. 72 00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:36,125 - Is this your Celcius? - He's been accepted into the army. 73 00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:38,292 Proper job for a proper roman. Well done, lad. 74 00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:40,083 - Cheers. - You must be so proud! 75 00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:44,500 Couldn't be prouder. We've just bought him some new sandals to say well done. 76 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,125 - Check them out. - Why can't you be more like Celcius? 77 00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:48,500 No fakes, no copies. Loser! 78 00:04:48,503 --> 00:04:52,292 Sporcus the Gladiator's very own sandals, as worn by the man himself. 79 00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:57,833 - How much? - Two hundred Denarii. 80 00:04:58,917 --> 00:04:59,917 But it says 100. 81 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,042 - No, it doesn't. - Yelook. See? 82 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:03,500 A hundred Denarii. 83 00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,542 Well that's per shoe. 84 00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:08,208 Who ever heard of " per shoe"? Who's gonna buy one shoe? 85 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,042 A one-legged man? 86 00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,042 Do you have this one in red? 87 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,564 Please don't sell them to anyone else. 88 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,458 I won't unless they bring me the money first. 89 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,542 Gladiator sweat! Makes you young! 90 00:05:24,875 --> 00:05:26,167 Gladiator sweat! 91 00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,042 - Lovely hum. - How much? 92 00:05:28,083 --> 00:05:29,958 To you, two hundred Denarii. 93 00:05:30,042 --> 00:05:31,208 How do I know it works? 94 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:32,958 I'm 97, mate. 95 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:34,958 I'll take it. 96 00:05:44,458 --> 00:05:45,768 Feeling peckish? 97 00:05:45,792 --> 00:05:47,352 Why not try our pick 'n' mix selection? 98 00:05:47,417 --> 00:05:50,667 Peacock tongues, stuffed snails, and roast dormouse. 99 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,125 Available from the arena kiosk. 100 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,542 Right, you lot this is a big match. 101 00:05:56,875 --> 00:05:58,208 It's Nero's birthday. 102 00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:01,500 So I want all of you to give it CX percent. 103 00:06:02,208 --> 00:06:03,792 - Got that? - Yes, boss. 104 00:06:04,333 --> 00:06:07,542 And remember, when you get out there you turn to Nero and you say 105 00:06:08,083 --> 00:06:12,500 "We who are about to die, salute you". 106 00:06:12,500 --> 00:06:14,083 What is it, Severus? 107 00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:18,583 I've been getting into this sports psychology thing, and that whole "about to die" bit 108 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:20,667 it just really messes with my energy, man. 109 00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:25,333 I mean, it's kinda negative. I just don't think it's me. 110 00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:29,500 We all have our "thing ", right? You're the massive one you're the other massive one. 111 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,643 You're the one with the funny voice. 112 00:06:30,667 --> 00:06:32,625 I don't have a funny voice. 113 00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:36,458 I thought I can be the "doesn't die" guy. 114 00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:38,542 You listen to me. 115 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,042 Say it, or I'll kill you myself 116 00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:43,042 and spare all these scumbags the bother. 117 00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,250 HE CHUCKLES OK. 118 00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:47,833 GLADIATOR TRAlNER: Go on, move it the lot of you. 119 00:06:47,917 --> 00:06:49,333 That's nowhere near enough. 120 00:06:54,708 --> 00:06:56,167 HORSE WEES NOISILY 121 00:07:01,958 --> 00:07:03,542 HE PANTS 122 00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:05,875 I'm the legate from Britain. 123 00:07:06,375 --> 00:07:08,250 Britain, you know, edge of the Empire. 124 00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:10,333 I have a gift for Emperor Nero. 125 00:07:10,417 --> 00:07:11,583 Must be on the list. 126 00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:18,042 Happy birthday, mein Emperor. 127 00:07:18,125 --> 00:07:20,583 We have killed a bear in your honour. 128 00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:22,833 Hollowed him out for a onesie. 129 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,583 I love it. 130 00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:27,958 Look, I'm a bear! 131 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,417 NERO ROARS - Ow! 132 00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:31,042 You scratched me. 133 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:34,750 Bear costume from Germany. 134 00:07:35,458 --> 00:07:37,167 What are you doing? - I'm making a list 135 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,917 so you can write thank you letters. 136 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 Well, don't 137 00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:41,167 because I'm in charge now 138 00:07:41,250 --> 00:07:42,730 and I'm not writing thank you letters. 139 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,559 People can thank me, for taking their presents. 140 00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:45,750 Shouldn't they? Yeah. - Mm. 141 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:46,875 Next. 142 00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:54,458 there! There we are, right at the bottom. 143 00:07:57,375 --> 00:07:59,083 NERO: Next? - MAN: The Gaulish legate. 144 00:08:01,042 --> 00:08:02,208 So, where are you from? 145 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,625 Britain. - Oh. 146 00:08:03,708 --> 00:08:05,500 What did you bring him? A bag of rain? 147 00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:08,417 HE LAUGHS No, lead. 148 00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,875 Right, good luck with that. 149 00:08:10,917 --> 00:08:12,125 HE CLICKS HlS TEETH 150 00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,042 A razor? That's rubbish. 151 00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:16,625 Take him away and punish him. 152 00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:17,792 No! 153 00:08:18,250 --> 00:08:19,917 SWORDS SWOOSH - AGONISED GRUNT 154 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,542 NERO: Next! - LEGATE: Greetings 155 00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:23,417 from Britain. - The stain? 156 00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,708 Heavy. I hope it's gold. 157 00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:29,952 I hope it's gold, I hope it's gold, I hope it's gold! 158 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:31,417 It's not gold. 159 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,375 It's lead! 160 00:08:34,792 --> 00:08:38,625 Use it for lining tanks, weights and measures... 161 00:08:40,542 --> 00:08:42,167 lt's a joke! 162 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:43,792 Joke present. 163 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,500 I'll just go and get your real present... 164 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,125 now... 165 00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:55,208 Present, present, present... 166 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,625 No. 167 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,542 Gladiator sweat! 168 00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,583 Pure Gladiator sweat! 169 00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:07,875 Cheers mate. 170 00:09:08,333 --> 00:09:10,875 Perfect, one bottle of sweat, please. 171 00:09:11,042 --> 00:09:12,083 All gone, mate. 172 00:09:12,208 --> 00:09:14,250 You snooze-icus, you lose-icus. 173 00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,917 What? But I need it now. 174 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:19,559 - Did I hear you need some gladiator sweat? - 200 Dinarii. 175 00:09:19,583 --> 00:09:22,750 I'll take it. 176 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,083 Ladies and gentlemen... 177 00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:31,208 Christians and lions! 178 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,292 Come on you lions! 179 00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:41,958 Please, show your appreciation, for the all powerful ruler of the roman Empire! 180 00:09:42,958 --> 00:09:45,417 Mum, mum! He was talking about me. 181 00:09:45,792 --> 00:09:47,351 That's my throne mother, get off! Get off! 182 00:09:47,375 --> 00:09:49,375 No, no! Darling, everyone's watching. 183 00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,583 Don't make a spectacle. 184 00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,547 You said I'd be in charge, so now I'm in charge. 185 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,083 - Are you? - Yes, whose face is it on the coins? 186 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,208 - Whose face? - My face. 187 00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:58,542 Exactly, your face. 188 00:09:58,917 --> 00:09:59,917 What? 189 00:10:00,292 --> 00:10:01,958 Well what's your face doing on my coins? 190 00:10:11,375 --> 00:10:14,583 We who are about to die salute you. 191 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:16,125 Goody, some mindless violence. 192 00:10:17,375 --> 00:10:19,550 Who' s got a funny voice now? 193 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:27,375 "Come to the games", you said. "I've got front row seats", you said. 194 00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:30,292 On the head, son! 195 00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:31,958 Atti, where have you been? 196 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,708 How on earth did you get those? 197 00:10:35,792 --> 00:10:36,992 I had this really clever idea. 198 00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:42,500 My Emperor! From Britain, what I meant to give you. 199 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,333 Pure Gladiator sweat. 200 00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:48,000 The finest anti-aging lotion in all of Rome. 201 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,750 Not that you need it, obviously. 202 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,292 - It's a challenging aroma. - Very. 203 00:10:53,958 --> 00:10:57,492 Notes of fresh grass, and leather, I like it. 204 00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:58,792 It's so you! 205 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,333 That's horse wee. 206 00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:04,958 - Horse wee? - Lt's so " not" you. 207 00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,083 - You're dead. - It was him! 208 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:10,083 He sold it to me. 209 00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:12,292 My chambers now. 210 00:11:20,292 --> 00:11:22,458 Right, punishments... 211 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:26,768 This one, I'm thinking, roll down a hill in a barrel full of spikes. 212 00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:28,500 Lnspired. 213 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,500 - Say thank you to the Emperor. - Thank you, Emperor. 214 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,083 - And this one crucifixion. - Wonderful. 215 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:37,500 Teeny hiccup, legally you're not supposed to crucify roman citizens. 216 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,000 Annoying. 217 00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,809 How about that one where they sew 'em in a sack with a snake a dog, a rooster and a monkey 218 00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,143 and chuck them in the river Tiber? 219 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,351 SYCOPHANTUS: Technically that's for the crime 220 00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:45,455 of killing your own father. 221 00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,250 This is impossible! 222 00:11:47,292 --> 00:11:48,625 He ruined my birthday! 223 00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,208 He deserves a fate worse than death. 224 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,750 Worse than death? 225 00:11:52,042 --> 00:11:53,333 What could be worse than death? 226 00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,167 I've got it! 227 00:11:57,458 --> 00:11:58,833 I'll send you to Britain. 228 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:02,625 Where? - NERO: Exactly. 229 00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:03,917 I'll make you a soldier. 230 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,393 So you'll have to wear short skirts 231 00:12:05,417 --> 00:12:06,726 with bare legs in the freezing cold. 232 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,083 No, please. I'm sorry. 233 00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:10,333 To Britain with him. - No, but... 234 00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:12,750 but I can't fight! 235 00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,750 I just wanted a new pair of sandals. 236 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:16,542 See where being clever gets ya? 237 00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:20,333 Shall I run Emperor a bath? 238 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,625 Why? 239 00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,458 Yeah! 240 00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:11,250 You're not having a sword. 241 00:13:11,333 --> 00:13:13,375 Dad, please. - I said no, Orla. 242 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,958 But I wanna be a Celtic warrior! 243 00:13:15,042 --> 00:13:16,083 It's not fair! 244 00:13:16,125 --> 00:13:17,792 Girls my age in other tribes have swords. 245 00:13:18,042 --> 00:13:20,708 Yeah. Well, I am chieftain of this tribe 246 00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:23,458 and I'm saying to you, you're not ready to fight. 247 00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,417 But I am! I want to fight romans. 248 00:13:25,792 --> 00:13:28,417 Why? We can't beat them, they're too strong. 249 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,000 They're too organised. 250 00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:31,893 METAL CLANGS OUTSlDE - Whereas, the Celtic tribes 251 00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:33,958 I mean they can't stop feuding with one another. 252 00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,542 What is that banging? Excuse me. 253 00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,833 CLANKING CONTINUES - Brenda? 254 00:13:38,583 --> 00:13:40,542 Hello. Where did you get that shield from? 255 00:13:40,708 --> 00:13:42,750 I, I found it. 256 00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:44,893 You didn't steal it off the Brigantes tribe, did you? 257 00:13:44,917 --> 00:13:46,667 Me? No. 258 00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:49,042 Looks nice, Gran. - Thanks, love. 259 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,250 Look... 260 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,000 We don't want to start a war we can't win, you know? 261 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,000 The modern way of doing it 262 00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,625 is to co-operate with the romans. 263 00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:01,333 Roman lovers! 264 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:02,875 Not all romans are bad. 265 00:14:02,958 --> 00:14:04,667 Well, name one good thing about them. 266 00:14:04,792 --> 00:14:06,042 Fine, um... 267 00:14:06,667 --> 00:14:07,875 their roads are excellent. 268 00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:10,208 So straight, you know. How could you not like that? 269 00:14:10,708 --> 00:14:12,000 I don't think Dougal likes it. 270 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,750 Oh, come on, dad. They're so annoying. 271 00:14:17,833 --> 00:14:19,667 They just go round taking whatever they want 272 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:21,250 marching all over everything. 273 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,254 I mean, why would we wanna co-operate with them? 274 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:25,333 I've heard the lceni are doing alright out of it. 275 00:14:25,417 --> 00:14:27,250 Let's just go and see for ourselves. 276 00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:28,875 Can I come? 277 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:32,208 Yes, fine. Just... try not to steal anything 278 00:14:32,292 --> 00:14:33,583 What, me? 279 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:39,458 ARGH US: 280 00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:41,167 BRENDA: Lovely. 281 00:14:41,667 --> 00:14:42,833 ARGH US: Come on, Brenda. 282 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,583 Look at the roman pillars on their chief's hut. 283 00:14:49,292 --> 00:14:50,292 I like those. 284 00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:55,167 - Yes, the lceni are certainly progressive. - Yetheir girls are allowed swords. 285 00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:57,458 Chief Prasutagus certainly knows how to live. 286 00:14:58,458 --> 00:14:59,833 Prasutagus is dead. 287 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:04,667 I tried to save him. 288 00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,167 I used the most advanced celtic medicine. 289 00:15:07,417 --> 00:15:09,583 You got a dog to lick him? 290 00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,542 Then you did all that could be done. 291 00:15:11,667 --> 00:15:12,917 HE SOBS 292 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:16,542 That's Prasutagus'wife, Boudicca. 293 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:17,875 She's queen now. 294 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,125 As roman Procurator, it falls to me 295 00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:25,042 Catus Decianus, to read the Will. 296 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,583 "I, Prasutagus, chief of the lceni 297 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:30,708 do hereby leave all my worldly possessions to... 298 00:15:31,583 --> 00:15:32,708 my cat. 299 00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:37,292 I'm joking. 300 00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,833 Joking. - Sorry, what's a cat? 301 00:15:39,917 --> 00:15:42,125 It's a roman thing, like a small furry dog 302 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,351 only it doesn't really like you 303 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:45,208 it just pretends to like you to get food. 304 00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,625 But it, it doesn't really matter cos I, I was only joking. 305 00:15:49,083 --> 00:15:50,167 Everything goes to Nero. 306 00:15:50,292 --> 00:15:52,375 SHE LAUGHS - That's the joke, right? 307 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:53,750 No. Perfectly serious. 308 00:15:54,208 --> 00:15:55,208 Men. HE WHlSTLES 309 00:15:55,375 --> 00:15:56,936 SOLDIER 1: Yes, sir. - SOLDIER 2: Sir. 310 00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,292 But we had an agreement. 311 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,500 It was meant to be split between Nero and me. 312 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:03,000 Minor technicality. 313 00:16:03,583 --> 00:16:05,750 Put that back! - Yeyou see, in roman law 314 00:16:05,833 --> 00:16:08,333 only men can inherit, so Nero says 315 00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:10,458 as you don't have any sons 316 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,833 all your wealth defaults to him. 317 00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:15,042 You should have read the old small print. 318 00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:17,083 We're Celts, we can't read. 319 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:20,292 Well, you can't do this. 320 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:23,208 We're romans, we can do anything we want. 321 00:16:23,292 --> 00:16:24,292 Come on then, boys. 322 00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:25,851 Let's get this stuff back to Colchester. 323 00:16:25,875 --> 00:16:28,417 That chaise is gonna look lovely in my atrium. 324 00:16:29,125 --> 00:16:30,375 Look, I won't stand for this! 325 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:32,417 This is not OK! 326 00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,792 UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS 327 00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,125 Yah! 328 00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:51,292 CROWD YELLS 329 00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:53,958 Whack them, smash them 330 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:55,583 ARGH US: Come back here now. 331 00:18:56,042 --> 00:18:59,667 What? But you said we should follow the lceni's example. 332 00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:01,125 Yes, well, not any more. 333 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,458 I don't get it. First you say be more like the lceni 334 00:19:03,542 --> 00:19:04,726 and then you change your mind. 335 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:06,184 Look, Orla, I don't want you to get hurt. 336 00:19:06,208 --> 00:19:07,250 You're all I've got. 337 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:08,542 BRENDA: Ahem! 338 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,667 Stop coughing. 339 00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,250 I don't think you're ready. 340 00:19:13,583 --> 00:19:15,583 I am. Why won't you believe me? 341 00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:17,792 I wanna take on the romans and I can. 342 00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,000 I'll prove it. - No, no... 343 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:21,958 Orla, back home now, OK? 344 00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:23,917 wearing the chief's hat! 345 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,125 You could give Orla a chance, you know. 346 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:31,500 Don't encourage her. 347 00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,750 Where did you get that? 348 00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:36,125 It's mine. I brought it with me. 349 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:37,958 Really? 350 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,875 So I tell Catus, " Don't give any of it to Boudicca. 351 00:19:43,958 --> 00:19:45,792 It's mine, all mine." 352 00:19:45,875 --> 00:19:47,583 Brilliant. Quite brilliant. 353 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:50,458 You do know she's started a rebellion? 354 00:19:50,583 --> 00:19:52,708 Yes. Thank you, Mother. I can handle this on my own. 355 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,083 Alright, darling, if you're sure. 356 00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:55,667 I am sure. Where are you going? 357 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:58,375 Well, since you don't want my help 358 00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,833 I thought I'd go on a little imperial tour. 359 00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:03,292 But the imperial tour's for the Emperor. 360 00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:06,000 For me to meet my subjects on my imperial boat. 361 00:20:06,042 --> 00:20:07,417 I'm the one in charge. 362 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,583 In charge of a terrible mess in Britain. 363 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,042 I hope you're not remembered 364 00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:14,292 as the Emperor who lost part of his Empire. 365 00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:16,875 Good luck stopping Boudicca. 366 00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:18,500 Ciao. 367 00:20:22,875 --> 00:20:24,667 If only there was a way to get rid of her. 368 00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:26,375 Send in more troops. 369 00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:28,083 Not Boudicca, my mother. 370 00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:29,958 How dare she take my boat? 371 00:20:30,333 --> 00:20:31,458 My boat. 372 00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:33,500 HE GASPS I have an idea. 373 00:20:33,625 --> 00:20:34,875 Brilliant. Quite brilliant. 374 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:36,542 Well, you haven't heard it yet. 375 00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:38,458 I'm gonna booby-trap the boat. 376 00:20:38,917 --> 00:20:40,708 Make it sink while my mother's on board. 377 00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:45,083 You can say it now. - Brilliant. Quite brilliant. 378 00:20:45,917 --> 00:20:47,667 Anyway, I've got nothing to worry about. 379 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,458 My troops'll smash Boudicca to pieces. 380 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,792 FIGHTlNG NOISES - CELTS LAUGH 381 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,167 Whoa! We smashed them! 382 00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:55,333 That was awesome! 383 00:20:55,417 --> 00:20:57,000 I'm so pumped, so pumped, so pumped! 384 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:59,143 What an amazing show! - Do you think we went a bit 385 00:20:59,167 --> 00:21:00,434 overboard with the smoke, though? 386 00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:01,939 I mean... Bouds, you were just like 387 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,625 "Hello, Colchester! ". 388 00:21:03,708 --> 00:21:04,875 And then, you were like 389 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,500 "Goodbye, Colchester!" 390 00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:10,000 THEY LAUGH - Yeah! We really tore them up! 391 00:21:10,417 --> 00:21:12,292 You were on fire. 392 00:21:12,750 --> 00:21:13,917 Yeah! 393 00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:16,042 Thanks for putting me out. - Mm. 394 00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:20,208 Hup, hup, hup, hup... 395 00:21:20,917 --> 00:21:24,500 Hup, hup, hup, hup... 396 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,375 And, halt! 397 00:21:28,583 --> 00:21:30,000 Welcome to Britain, loser. 398 00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,208 Leave me alone, Celcius. 399 00:21:31,292 --> 00:21:33,542 What are you gonna do about it, Atti? Tell your dad? 400 00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,250 ATTlGRUNTS 401 00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:36,625 On your feet, soldier! 402 00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,083 But, sir... - Don't answer back. 403 00:21:39,417 --> 00:21:40,500 Get down and give me ten! 404 00:21:42,250 --> 00:21:43,917 DEClMUS: One! - ATTl GRUNTS 405 00:21:44,583 --> 00:21:46,292 DEClMUS: Two! 406 00:21:46,625 --> 00:21:48,500 Oh, make it five. I haven't got all day. 407 00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,833 Lame. - Right, men, listen up! 408 00:21:51,583 --> 00:21:54,000 This is my final mission before I retire 409 00:21:54,125 --> 00:21:55,725 and I intend to get it over and done with 410 00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:58,542 as quickly as possible so I can return to Rome. 411 00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:01,833 Beautiful Rome. 412 00:22:01,917 --> 00:22:04,625 With its dry Mediterranean climate and non-stop summers. 413 00:22:06,417 --> 00:22:08,083 Luckily, this is an easy posting. 414 00:22:08,167 --> 00:22:10,327 - Nothing ever happens here. - Well that's a downer. 415 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:12,625 Here comes the Procurator. 416 00:22:12,667 --> 00:22:14,292 Hail, Catus Decianus! 417 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:17,167 Yes, welcome to Britain. And you are welcome to it. 418 00:22:17,542 --> 00:22:19,917 A Celtic Queen called Boudicca's gone loco. 419 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,583 Completely destroyed Colchester. 420 00:22:21,708 --> 00:22:23,917 Anyway, there are your orders. Bye! 421 00:22:24,292 --> 00:22:26,708 Catus, defend the Empire and crush the Celts. 422 00:22:27,125 --> 00:22:29,125 Hang on a minute. These are your orders. 423 00:22:29,292 --> 00:22:30,625 Just gonna borrow your boat. 424 00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,000 You won't be needing it 425 00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:34,000 seeing as you'II all be dead! 426 00:22:34,125 --> 00:22:35,667 Right, men, forward march! 427 00:22:35,917 --> 00:22:37,250 For the glory of Rome! 428 00:22:37,917 --> 00:22:39,833 ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS wonderful Rome. 429 00:22:39,917 --> 00:22:43,417 Its vines hanging heavy with succulent, sun-ripened grapes. 430 00:22:43,958 --> 00:22:45,708 MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY - KNOCKING ON DOOR 431 00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:49,083 Hello, I'm calling today on behalf of Boudicca 432 00:22:49,167 --> 00:22:50,292 Queen of the Iceni. 433 00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:52,000 Sorry, I never buy things at the door. 434 00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:54,292 No, sir we're not selling, we're recruiting. 435 00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:57,208 For her army. We're asking Celtic tribes to unite. 436 00:22:57,333 --> 00:22:58,500 Yenot interested. 437 00:23:00,958 --> 00:23:03,667 SWORDS SWOOSH - You're either with us 438 00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:06,083 or you're against us. 439 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:08,750 Oh, Boudicca's army, you say? 440 00:23:09,208 --> 00:23:10,583 Yethat sounds great. 441 00:23:10,667 --> 00:23:12,167 Love that. Yeah. 442 00:23:13,042 --> 00:23:15,458 � Bash them Celts and smash their heads! � 443 00:23:15,542 --> 00:23:17,875 ARMY: � Bash them Celts and smash their heads! � 444 00:23:17,958 --> 00:23:20,208 � I would rather be in bed � 445 00:23:20,542 --> 00:23:22,625 � I would rather be in bed � 446 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:25,333 � We 're roman soldiers trained to kill � 447 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,750 ARMY: � We 're roman soldiers trained to kill � 448 00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:30,000 � This guy really needs to chill � 449 00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:32,375 � This guy really needs to chill � 450 00:23:32,458 --> 00:23:34,167 THEY CHUCKLE - Atti, you're a legend. 451 00:23:34,250 --> 00:23:35,917 DECIMUS: Quiet at the back! - 452 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:37,917 I'II show my dad. 453 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,708 DECIMUS: � Rattie with the Celtic tribes � 454 00:23:40,792 --> 00:23:43,000 ARMY: � Battle with the Celtic... - Stupid sandals. 455 00:23:43,083 --> 00:23:45,167 � Just a minute, hold on, guys � 456 00:23:46,083 --> 00:23:48,292 No, seriously. Guys, hold on. 457 00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:50,208 Guys... 458 00:23:57,375 --> 00:23:59,458 ARMY CONTINUES CHANTING 459 00:24:00,542 --> 00:24:02,625 Where's Atti gone? - Dunno. 460 00:24:14,917 --> 00:24:17,250 Now who says I'm not ready to be a warrior? 461 00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:19,958 Orla, what have you done? 462 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:21,208 Taken a roman prisoner... 463 00:24:21,792 --> 00:24:22,875 all on my own. 464 00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:24,667 See, told you I could do it. 465 00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:26,394 You're just gonna have to take him back. 466 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,875 What? I thought you'd be pleased. 467 00:24:28,958 --> 00:24:30,875 You can't keep a prisoner. It's hard work. 468 00:24:31,208 --> 00:24:33,667 You have to feed it. You have to exercise it. 469 00:24:34,458 --> 00:24:36,708 Who's gonna clean up after him? - I am here, you know. 470 00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,870 He's my prisoner. I found him, and I wanna keep him. 471 00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,708 OK, fine. 472 00:24:40,792 --> 00:24:42,792 You'II get bored soon enough, and then someone 473 00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:44,035 will have to get rid of him. 474 00:24:45,792 --> 00:24:47,667 There's no pleasing some people. 475 00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:51,917 HE IMITATES BRENDA: "There's no pleasing some people". 476 00:24:55,083 --> 00:24:56,792 ATTI SNIFFS 477 00:24:56,917 --> 00:24:58,417 You can't keep me in a pig shed. 478 00:24:58,667 --> 00:25:00,333 It, it's inhumane. - What? 479 00:25:00,542 --> 00:25:01,958 This is our best hut. 480 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,125 Why does it smell like animal poo? 481 00:25:04,417 --> 00:25:06,097 How d 'you think we made the walls? Stupid. 482 00:25:06,417 --> 00:25:07,708 Gross. 483 00:25:08,208 --> 00:25:09,708 And who are you calling "stupid "? 484 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,750 You're a Celt. I heard you lot can't even read. 485 00:25:12,833 --> 00:25:15,125 So? - So, Celts know nothing 486 00:25:15,208 --> 00:25:16,625 about anything. - Yeah? 487 00:25:16,708 --> 00:25:18,458 Yeah. Ha! 488 00:25:21,375 --> 00:25:23,917 -Don't you like our decorations. - Decorations? 489 00:25:24,667 --> 00:25:26,708 - You lot are savages. - Says a roman! 490 00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:28,643 You're the ones turning up here killing everyone. 491 00:25:28,667 --> 00:25:30,250 We're civilising you. 492 00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,375 Well, we don't wanna be "civilised ", thanks. 493 00:25:33,708 --> 00:25:35,393 We're happy with things just the way they are. 494 00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:37,333 What, you actually want walls made out of poo? 495 00:25:37,417 --> 00:25:39,833 In Rome, our houses are made out of stone. 496 00:25:39,875 --> 00:25:42,125 And we have proper decorations, like sculptures 497 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:43,875 and mosaics and fountains... - Really? 498 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,280 Well if it's so amazing, why don't you just go back home? 499 00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:47,708 No-one wants you here. 500 00:25:48,083 --> 00:25:50,375 You should all go. Before Boudicca makes you. 501 00:25:50,458 --> 00:25:53,417 What, you seriously think the Romans can be bested by a girl? 502 00:25:54,250 --> 00:25:55,292 HE GRUNTS 503 00:25:55,833 --> 00:25:56,833 Bested. 504 00:25:58,375 --> 00:25:59,375 HE SIGHS 505 00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:04,215 I'II take that sword, thank you, young lady. 506 00:26:04,542 --> 00:26:05,792 Dad! 507 00:26:11,917 --> 00:26:14,292 NERO CHUCKLES Look, these two are fighting. 508 00:26:16,250 --> 00:26:17,375 Ahem! 509 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:18,708 Alright, alright. 510 00:26:18,917 --> 00:26:20,792 put the catapults here. 511 00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:21,792 Very good, Emperor. 512 00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:25,167 And then our troops are like, "The Britons look cold let's warm them up". 513 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:30,875 They unleash burning tar, and the Britons are like "Help, I'm melting ". 514 00:26:31,417 --> 00:26:33,476 That's a roman spear going straight through the back. 515 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:34,875 I bring grave news, Emperor. 516 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000 No. My mother's boat sank. She's dead. 517 00:26:37,833 --> 00:26:39,250 It's not about your mother. 518 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:41,667 It says Boudicca has burnt Colchester to the ground. 519 00:26:43,583 --> 00:26:44,750 You what? 520 00:26:47,042 --> 00:26:48,958 Oh, please, Emperor, don't shoot the... 521 00:26:49,042 --> 00:26:50,875 HE YELLS 522 00:26:51,125 --> 00:26:52,458 Fantastic shot. 523 00:26:52,583 --> 00:26:54,000 MESSENGER GROANS 524 00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,958 It says more tribes are joining her uprising. 525 00:27:02,167 --> 00:27:03,458 She's uniting the Celts. 526 00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,958 No, no, no, no, no, you did that all wrong. 527 00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:07,125 Look, it's like this. 528 00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:09,250 Clippity, cloppity, clippity, cloppy. 529 00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:12,333 NERO NEIGHS Clippity, cloppity. 530 00:27:14,708 --> 00:27:16,208 How many times, Orla? 531 00:27:16,250 --> 00:27:18,000 You cannot come to Boudicca's rally. 532 00:27:18,042 --> 00:27:19,792 Because number one, you're not a warrior. 533 00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:20,875 YeI am. 534 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,875 Number two, you have got a prisoner to feed. 535 00:27:23,958 --> 00:27:25,042 And number three... 536 00:27:25,958 --> 00:27:26,958 because I said so. 537 00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:29,500 Alright? Let's bounce. 538 00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:34,875 SHE SIGHS 539 00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,375 What's that? I'm starving. 540 00:27:40,417 --> 00:27:41,583 Parsnip soup. 541 00:27:42,542 --> 00:27:43,958 Have you not got any proper food? 542 00:27:44,042 --> 00:27:46,292 Like sow's udders, or flamingo tongues? 543 00:27:46,792 --> 00:27:48,542 What? - Jellyfish omelette? 544 00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:49,768 SHE SIGHS Well, if you don't want it... 545 00:27:49,792 --> 00:27:50,792 No, I... 546 00:27:51,167 --> 00:27:52,167 I'll try some. 547 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,125 Thanks. - SOUP SLOPS 548 00:27:55,250 --> 00:27:56,333 I'm Atti, by the way. 549 00:27:56,583 --> 00:27:57,792 I'm... 550 00:27:58,083 --> 00:27:59,542 not telling you my name. 551 00:27:59,667 --> 00:28:02,167 Right. Well nice to meet you, "Not Telling You My Name". 552 00:28:04,167 --> 00:28:05,417 I'm Orla, alright. 553 00:28:05,500 --> 00:28:07,500 So, Orla, what you gonna do with me now 554 00:28:07,583 --> 00:28:09,333 or don't you know? - Of course I know. 555 00:28:09,667 --> 00:28:11,958 I've had loads of prisoners before. Like all the time. 556 00:28:12,375 --> 00:28:13,375 Course you have. 557 00:28:13,917 --> 00:28:15,792 I guess you're planning to... 558 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:19,458 ransom me. - Yeah. 559 00:28:19,542 --> 00:28:21,142 Yeah that's exactly what I was thinking. 560 00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:22,750 Ransom you and get some money. 561 00:28:22,833 --> 00:28:25,208 Bingo. You get the cash. I get to go home. 562 00:28:25,333 --> 00:28:26,708 Everybody's happy. 563 00:28:28,042 --> 00:28:29,792 I'm not interested in your happiness. 564 00:28:31,333 --> 00:28:32,333 Charming. 565 00:28:32,458 --> 00:28:34,125 CROWD CHEERS 566 00:28:34,750 --> 00:28:36,708 When two tribes go to war 567 00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:40,125 we can burn the roman capital to the ground! 568 00:28:40,208 --> 00:28:41,917 CROWD CHEERS 569 00:28:42,542 --> 00:28:46,250 Imagine what we could do if all the Celtic tribes united! 570 00:28:46,417 --> 00:28:47,500 you're right. 571 00:28:47,750 --> 00:28:49,750 Oi. Stop winding up the Brigantes, will you. 572 00:28:49,917 --> 00:28:51,292 I'm not! - MAN: Take 'em all down. 573 00:28:51,458 --> 00:28:54,000 So put aside your petty squabbles. 574 00:28:54,083 --> 00:28:56,125 Well who cares if he called you names? 575 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,792 Who cares if she stole your shield? 576 00:29:00,375 --> 00:29:02,417 Was that you? - Might have been. 577 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,208 Big nose! - MAN: Hey! 578 00:29:04,292 --> 00:29:05,667 Stealing's not nice, you know. 579 00:29:05,792 --> 00:29:07,625 I'm gonna make you regret it. - Yeah? 580 00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:09,083 You and who's army? 581 00:29:09,667 --> 00:29:11,000 Me and my army! - MEN: Yeah! 582 00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,644 BOUDICCA: Did you hear what I just said? 583 00:29:13,167 --> 00:29:15,250 Alright, we need to unite. This is war. 584 00:29:15,375 --> 00:29:16,583 Too right it's war! 585 00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:19,625 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 586 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,375 CROWD SHOUTS 587 00:29:23,292 --> 00:29:25,000 Save it for the romans! 588 00:29:27,917 --> 00:29:30,417 My tribe, over here now! 589 00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,417 You're gonna get what's coming to you. 590 00:29:32,792 --> 00:29:34,792 Whatever! - By the full moon. 591 00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:39,125 I'm sorry. But if you think you can unite the Celtic tribes 592 00:29:39,208 --> 00:29:40,375 good luck. 593 00:29:40,750 --> 00:29:42,875 CROWD CLAMOURS 594 00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:46,667 NERO: Who are these guys? - Those are trees. 595 00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:48,792 I knew that. Who are these? 596 00:29:48,875 --> 00:29:51,083 That's the Ninth Legion. The IX men. 597 00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:53,167 The most feared fighting force in the roman Army. 598 00:29:53,417 --> 00:29:55,667 We shouldn't use them. We should give them the month off. 599 00:29:55,708 --> 00:29:56,893 ARMY CHIEF: Are you sure, Emperor? 600 00:29:56,917 --> 00:29:58,292 No, of course we should use them! 601 00:29:58,458 --> 00:29:59,643 I was being sarcastic, weren't I? 602 00:29:59,667 --> 00:30:01,187 Yes. - NERO: Send them into battle. 603 00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:05,417 And I suggest you make the correct noise. 604 00:30:15,875 --> 00:30:18,083 Can't lose now, high V! 605 00:30:18,542 --> 00:30:19,833 I'm the best at war! 606 00:30:19,917 --> 00:30:21,208 Boudicca's going down. 607 00:30:21,250 --> 00:30:22,958 Much like mother on my imperial boat. 608 00:30:23,042 --> 00:30:25,042 Yes, I don't need my mummy! 609 00:32:32,875 --> 00:32:34,750 Hello, mum. 610 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,542 My boat sank. 611 00:32:37,542 --> 00:32:39,375 LAST CHORD OF SONG PLAYS 612 00:32:40,167 --> 00:32:41,250 GOATS BLEAT 613 00:32:42,458 --> 00:32:43,625 what are you doing? 614 00:32:45,083 --> 00:32:46,833 Go on then, write your ransom note. 615 00:32:47,750 --> 00:32:49,708 You want me to write my own ransom note? 616 00:32:49,792 --> 00:32:51,542 Oh, Celts can't write. 617 00:32:52,250 --> 00:32:53,375 Get writing, prisoner. 618 00:32:54,333 --> 00:32:57,250 Send one unarmed soldier... 619 00:32:58,208 --> 00:32:59,750 with thirty roman coins. 620 00:32:59,958 --> 00:33:02,000 Rude. I'm worth way more than that. 621 00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:04,000 SHE SNIGGERS I'd say thirty was pushing it. 622 00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:07,750 By the full moon, or we'll send him back... 623 00:33:08,875 --> 00:33:10,042 dead. 624 00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:15,333 You have written that, haven't you? 625 00:33:16,458 --> 00:33:17,708 Word for word? 626 00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:20,625 Of course. 627 00:33:47,458 --> 00:33:48,583 IX men. 628 00:33:50,417 --> 00:33:52,917 Wow. Loving the camouflage, Cedric. 629 00:33:53,417 --> 00:33:54,792 HE WHISPERS: That's just a bush. 630 00:33:56,167 --> 00:33:57,208 I knew that. 631 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,542 Right. Ready? 632 00:34:02,417 --> 00:34:05,417 Booouuu... - CELTS SHOUT: dicaaaa! 633 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,667 SOLDIERS SCREAM 634 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,333 where do you think you're going, messenger? 635 00:34:17,958 --> 00:34:19,542 So, how did Boudicca die? 636 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:20,542 Is her head on a spike? 637 00:34:20,583 --> 00:34:22,167 Give me all the gory details. Come on. 638 00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:24,125 Well, the IX men 639 00:34:24,875 --> 00:34:27,625 have now become the, ex-men. 640 00:34:27,875 --> 00:34:30,583 Because the Celts were all like, "OOOOOoh". 641 00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:31,809 And the roman guts were all like 642 00:34:31,833 --> 00:34:33,750 squidge, squidge... - Don't make the noises! 643 00:34:33,833 --> 00:34:35,633 You only make the noises when it's going well! 644 00:34:37,583 --> 00:34:38,750 HE STRAINS 645 00:34:38,958 --> 00:34:40,125 Who said you can move? 646 00:34:44,333 --> 00:34:45,625 HE GRUNTS 647 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:47,792 Can I get some help? - Hm? 648 00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:48,917 A little bit of help. 649 00:34:53,417 --> 00:34:54,792 Tuscan marble. 650 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:57,792 A table worthy of a mighty Emperor. 651 00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:00,292 On my three. 652 00:35:00,375 --> 00:35:02,917 One, two, three. 653 00:35:03,667 --> 00:35:04,958 Oooh! 654 00:35:07,375 --> 00:35:08,625 DIMIDIUS SHOUTS: Atti! 655 00:35:11,333 --> 00:35:12,542 Atti, mate! 656 00:35:13,750 --> 00:35:15,000 Atti! 657 00:35:16,875 --> 00:35:17,875 Atti! 658 00:35:18,667 --> 00:35:20,667 It's like he was here one minute and now he's gone. 659 00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:22,875 You don't think he was eaten by a tiger? 660 00:35:23,875 --> 00:35:25,625 I'm not sure there's tigers in Britain. 661 00:35:25,708 --> 00:35:26,708 A squirrel then? 662 00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:32,125 - We're under attack! - Form a testudo! 663 00:35:55,417 --> 00:35:57,684 - It's from Atti. - What does it say? 664 00:35:57,708 --> 00:35:59,167 Kidnapped by Celts. 665 00:35:59,250 --> 00:36:01,375 Please rescue by the full moon. 666 00:36:01,542 --> 00:36:03,458 Celts are sausages, espe... 667 00:36:03,542 --> 00:36:05,208 I think that says "savages". 668 00:36:06,875 --> 00:36:07,792 - Yeah. - Yeah. 669 00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:16,667 "Celts are savages, especially the girls. Atti. P.S. food awful. P.P.S." 670 00:36:16,917 --> 00:36:18,042 Are you expecting rain? 671 00:36:19,083 --> 00:36:20,083 Has he turned up yet? 672 00:36:20,125 --> 00:36:21,485 I will not lose a man from my unit. 673 00:36:21,792 --> 00:36:23,333 Still no sign of him, sir. 674 00:36:23,375 --> 00:36:24,542 He must have deserted. 675 00:36:24,708 --> 00:36:26,292 - Deserted? - He's just the type. 676 00:36:26,458 --> 00:36:27,625 I know him from Rome. 677 00:36:28,625 --> 00:36:30,667 Rome. 678 00:36:30,750 --> 00:36:33,167 Beautiful really not that far away Rome. 679 00:36:33,208 --> 00:36:37,833 He's probably stolen a horse ridden to the coast found a friendly fisherman 680 00:36:37,917 --> 00:36:40,917 hitched a ride to Gaul, and run all the way home. 681 00:36:42,208 --> 00:36:43,268 Or something like that, anyway. 682 00:36:43,292 --> 00:36:44,292 HE SNIFFS 683 00:36:47,625 --> 00:36:48,958 DECIMUS: What? - PAPER RIPS 684 00:36:49,042 --> 00:36:50,375 what are you doing? 685 00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,250 Shouldn't we be rescuing him? 686 00:36:52,625 --> 00:36:54,208 You, stay out of it. 687 00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:58,500 Very rude. 688 00:37:00,292 --> 00:37:01,417 OWL HOOTS 689 00:37:01,792 --> 00:37:03,000 My men are coming. 690 00:37:03,250 --> 00:37:04,792 SHE SCOFFS Yeright. 691 00:37:05,417 --> 00:37:07,042 I bet they'll be here within the hour. 692 00:37:07,417 --> 00:37:08,417 What's an hour? 693 00:37:09,125 --> 00:37:10,458 You don't have sundials, do you? 694 00:37:11,208 --> 00:37:12,833 Do you wanna see something clever? 695 00:37:12,917 --> 00:37:14,042 ORLA: if I must. 696 00:37:14,125 --> 00:37:15,125 OK. 697 00:37:15,542 --> 00:37:17,000 Imagine that that is the sun. 698 00:37:17,375 --> 00:37:19,167 This is Britain, we don't have sun. 699 00:37:19,333 --> 00:37:21,458 Imagine you're in Rome and that is the sun. 700 00:37:23,750 --> 00:37:25,792 Now as the sun rises 701 00:37:26,083 --> 00:37:27,083 it casts a shadow 702 00:37:27,667 --> 00:37:28,667 here... 703 00:37:28,708 --> 00:37:30,000 and then at sunset... 704 00:37:30,667 --> 00:37:31,667 there. 705 00:37:31,708 --> 00:37:34,500 Now, all you do is divide the daylight 706 00:37:34,583 --> 00:37:36,333 into 12 equal sections 707 00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:38,125 and each one of them is a roman hour. 708 00:37:38,208 --> 00:37:40,708 Hours are shorter in the winter and get longer in the summer. 709 00:37:41,208 --> 00:37:43,167 Cos that's not confusing! 710 00:37:43,250 --> 00:37:44,708 It's not, you see... 711 00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:47,458 the days are longer so the hours are longer. 712 00:37:47,542 --> 00:37:50,000 Simple. - So it's the summer now 713 00:37:50,292 --> 00:37:51,708 which means the hours are longer. 714 00:37:51,792 --> 00:37:54,333 Mm-hm. - So by my calculations 715 00:37:54,417 --> 00:37:56,375 your "men will be here in the next hour" means 716 00:37:57,417 --> 00:37:58,750 they're never coming. 717 00:37:59,375 --> 00:38:00,417 Loser. 718 00:38:06,708 --> 00:38:08,333 CRICKETS CHIRP 719 00:38:09,333 --> 00:38:10,458 OWL HOOTS 720 00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:21,292 ATTI: Guys, you came! 721 00:38:21,417 --> 00:38:22,833 Sorry, mate, wrong hut. 722 00:38:25,333 --> 00:38:27,333 ATTI: Excuse me. You left the door open. 723 00:38:28,458 --> 00:38:29,500 Grab the old woman. 724 00:38:29,625 --> 00:38:31,500 BRENDA: Oi! Less of the old! 725 00:38:31,792 --> 00:38:33,917 MAN: Up you get, love. - BRENDA: Get off me! 726 00:38:34,125 --> 00:38:36,083 SHE GRUNTS AND GROANS 727 00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:37,500 MAN LAUGHS 728 00:38:42,417 --> 00:38:44,417 That will teach you to mess with the Brigantes. 729 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,875 Boot's on the other foot, isn't it, lady? 730 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,167 See how you like it. 731 00:38:50,875 --> 00:38:52,750 ATTI: OThey left the door open. 732 00:38:59,708 --> 00:39:00,708 Orla. 733 00:39:01,458 --> 00:39:03,042 Orla, Brenda's been taken. 734 00:39:03,958 --> 00:39:04,958 What? 735 00:39:08,292 --> 00:39:09,875 It must have been the Brigantes. 736 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:12,375 And the roman has escaped. Brilliant. 737 00:39:12,833 --> 00:39:14,792 What if he gets his mates and comes back here? 738 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,292 Well I don't understand. I tied him up really well. 739 00:39:18,292 --> 00:39:19,458 I'm gonna get him back. 740 00:39:19,542 --> 00:39:21,583 No, you're not. - He can't have got far. 741 00:39:21,667 --> 00:39:22,667 This time I'll kill him 742 00:39:22,708 --> 00:39:23,768 and then I'll go and rescue Gran. 743 00:39:23,792 --> 00:39:25,083 No way. - Come on, dad. 744 00:39:25,167 --> 00:39:27,792 I'm ready to be a warrior. Just let me prove it. 745 00:39:31,167 --> 00:39:32,167 OK. - Yes! 746 00:39:32,958 --> 00:39:34,000 I'll need the sword. 747 00:39:34,250 --> 00:39:35,458 You're impossible. 748 00:39:35,667 --> 00:39:37,375 My own sword! 749 00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:40,500 It's to borrow, and only use it in an emergency. 750 00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:43,500 Thanks, dad! I can do it, trust me! 751 00:39:56,292 --> 00:39:57,292 Hi, Orla. 752 00:39:57,333 --> 00:39:58,208 HELMET CLANGS 753 00:39:58,292 --> 00:39:59,833 not again! 754 00:40:00,917 --> 00:40:03,042 Can I just say how well-tied your knots were. 755 00:40:03,292 --> 00:40:04,542 Very impressive. - Shut up 756 00:40:04,625 --> 00:40:06,667 and prepare to die, roman. - No, no, no, stop. 757 00:40:06,750 --> 00:40:08,833 They took your gran, right? 758 00:40:09,167 --> 00:40:10,458 I can help you get her back. 759 00:40:11,417 --> 00:40:12,792 How? - I, um... 760 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,393 know stuff. - YeI won't be needing 761 00:40:14,417 --> 00:40:15,875 a sundial. - Not just sundials 762 00:40:15,958 --> 00:40:17,917 other stuff, roman knowhow. 763 00:40:20,125 --> 00:40:21,375 We can share our skills. 764 00:40:21,917 --> 00:40:23,500 Teamwork makes the dream work? 765 00:40:25,167 --> 00:40:26,250 OK, fine. 766 00:40:26,750 --> 00:40:28,000 But we're not a team. 767 00:40:28,250 --> 00:40:29,750 You're still my prisoner. 768 00:40:30,125 --> 00:40:31,125 I mean it. 769 00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:32,729 If you try anything... - SWORD SWOOSHES 770 00:40:37,417 --> 00:40:38,417 Walk. 771 00:40:45,042 --> 00:40:47,917 WOMAN: To battle! To war! Ha, ha, ha! 772 00:40:47,958 --> 00:40:49,542 Your army grows, Boudicca. 773 00:40:49,750 --> 00:40:51,833 More Britons come to your side every day. 774 00:40:51,958 --> 00:40:53,958 How many are we now then? - Fifty thousand. 775 00:40:54,208 --> 00:40:55,625 Fifty thousand and one. 776 00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:57,208 CROWD CHEERS 777 00:40:57,667 --> 00:40:58,958 Welcome aboard. 778 00:40:59,083 --> 00:41:01,208 Fifty thousand and two. - CROWD CHEERS 779 00:41:02,250 --> 00:41:03,417 Good to have you. 780 00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:06,292 Fifty thousand and threeeee! 781 00:41:07,167 --> 00:41:08,750 HE GRUNTS - CROWD: 782 00:41:09,708 --> 00:41:11,375 fifty thousand and two. - BODY THUDS 783 00:41:11,875 --> 00:41:13,042 Whoops! Uh... 784 00:41:13,333 --> 00:41:14,417 Thanks for your service. 785 00:41:15,292 --> 00:41:16,375 Shall we... 786 00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:19,000 - Shall we go and burn London? - Yealright. 787 00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:33,792 And this is me in Capri at the imperial banquet, in my honour. 788 00:41:33,875 --> 00:41:35,796 Nobody cares about your holiday carvings, mother. 789 00:41:35,917 --> 00:41:41,250 And here's me in my luxury VIP suite, in my luxury VIP villa. 790 00:41:41,958 --> 00:41:44,417 Goat's brains in a rotten fish guts sauce? 791 00:41:44,625 --> 00:41:46,833 Nein. I couldn't possibly. I'm too full. 792 00:41:46,917 --> 00:41:48,292 Bucket. Bucket! 793 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,667 It's the polite roman way. Be sick so you can eat more food. 794 00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:55,625 And zey call us barbarians! 795 00:41:59,958 --> 00:42:03,542 "Come to Nero's dinner party", you said. "It'll be fun", you said. 796 00:42:03,625 --> 00:42:08,250 You won't believe this, but one night the ceiling right above my bed collapsed. 797 00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:11,542 It's almost like somebody booby-trapped it. 798 00:42:11,625 --> 00:42:14,625 Thank Juno I wasn't in bed, or I'd have been flattened. 799 00:42:14,708 --> 00:42:16,000 Imagine. 800 00:42:16,083 --> 00:42:18,125 Do excuse me. I just need to nip to the loo. 801 00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,292 Lovely. 802 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,167 I hear Boudicca is heading for London. 803 00:42:55,250 --> 00:42:56,708 You really ought to stop her. 804 00:42:57,458 --> 00:42:58,976 You know what Claudius would have done? 805 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,081 Guess what, I don't care what Claudius would've done. 806 00:43:01,167 --> 00:43:02,917 I'm in charge now. Don't you forget it. 807 00:43:03,042 --> 00:43:04,292 He'd have sent in the Governor. 808 00:43:04,417 --> 00:43:05,809 HE MIMICS HER "He'd have sent in the Governor" 809 00:43:05,833 --> 00:43:07,625 Yeah. What? There's a Governor in Britain? 810 00:43:07,708 --> 00:43:10,375 Yes, Gaius Suetonius Paulinus. 811 00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:11,958 And what is he doing? 812 00:43:12,042 --> 00:43:15,000 He's in Wales, oh mighty one, defeating Druids. 813 00:43:15,917 --> 00:43:18,167 Druids? - Savage Celtic priests. 814 00:43:18,500 --> 00:43:20,167 Well, tell him to stop that 815 00:43:20,250 --> 00:43:21,583 and to sort out Boudicca. 816 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,958 Well done, darling. 817 00:43:23,208 --> 00:43:25,083 Don't patronise me. I'm on top of this. 818 00:43:26,333 --> 00:43:27,458 HE WHISPERS: Where's Wales? 819 00:43:28,708 --> 00:43:31,083 FIGHTERS GRUNT 820 00:43:39,333 --> 00:43:41,583 ls nobody a match for the mighty Paulinus? 821 00:43:42,375 --> 00:43:44,458 Nero will no doubt bestow an award for this. 822 00:43:45,125 --> 00:43:46,958 ECHOING: Paulinus! Paulinus! 823 00:43:48,375 --> 00:43:50,083 Paulinus's name on the wind. 824 00:43:50,167 --> 00:43:52,083 Tis the gods commending his triumph. 825 00:43:52,417 --> 00:43:54,417 Paulinus! Paulinus. 826 00:43:54,667 --> 00:43:56,167 It is you, weedy messenger. 827 00:43:56,542 --> 00:43:58,250 HE PANTS It's much... 828 00:43:58,708 --> 00:43:59,792 much... 829 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:01,292 HE WHEEZES 830 00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:07,476 It's much hillier than I thought it would be. 831 00:44:07,500 --> 00:44:11,542 - It is Wales, Weed, Druid country. - Hold that thought! 832 00:44:17,750 --> 00:44:20,042 Paulinus has crushed them in the name of Nero. 833 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:26,292 But that's just it. Nero's message says you are to stop immediately. 834 00:44:26,417 --> 00:44:27,917 Stop? 835 00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:29,458 Paulinus never stops! 836 00:44:30,792 --> 00:44:33,375 You have to stop. Nero is really annoyed. 837 00:44:33,958 --> 00:44:34,958 What? 838 00:44:39,583 --> 00:44:42,833 Yes. An even greater victory awaits Paulinus. 839 00:44:43,292 --> 00:44:46,500 To destroy Boudicca, and vanquish the Celts. 840 00:44:47,583 --> 00:44:49,292 Men! Stop! 841 00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:51,083 DRUID: Urgh! 842 00:44:53,417 --> 00:44:54,333 Sorry. 843 00:44:54,417 --> 00:44:55,750 Follow Paulinus! 844 00:44:56,375 --> 00:44:57,625 At the double! 845 00:44:57,917 --> 00:44:59,458 MESSENGER GASPS 846 00:45:02,417 --> 00:45:04,917 You really don't need to point that thing at me, you know. 847 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,167 Not now we're a team. 848 00:45:08,458 --> 00:45:10,042 Bet you don't even know how to use it. 849 00:45:14,458 --> 00:45:15,958 SWORD SWOOSHES 850 00:45:20,125 --> 00:45:22,417 I train in secret. I'm gonna be a warrior. 851 00:45:23,667 --> 00:45:25,958 You know Celts are the toughest fighters in the world. 852 00:45:26,500 --> 00:45:27,542 Really? 853 00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:30,250 So, why is there a roman Empire then? 854 00:45:30,583 --> 00:45:31,743 Never heard of a British one. 855 00:45:32,042 --> 00:45:34,082 You won't be so smug when Boudicca has thrashed you. 856 00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:36,296 I'm gonna join her army after we've rescued Gran. 857 00:45:36,375 --> 00:45:37,958 You actually want to join the army? 858 00:45:38,042 --> 00:45:39,958 You're crazy. - No, I'm not. 859 00:45:40,042 --> 00:45:41,708 It'll be awesome. Looking all fierce 860 00:45:41,792 --> 00:45:43,667 painted with blue woad, being in a gang. 861 00:45:44,833 --> 00:45:46,417 I was made to join up as a punishment 862 00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:48,542 Punishment? How is it a punishment? 863 00:45:48,625 --> 00:45:50,833 let me think about that. There's the marching 864 00:45:50,917 --> 00:45:52,500 the being shouted at, the marching 865 00:45:52,583 --> 00:45:53,458 the getting bullied. 866 00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:54,580 Did I mention the marching? 867 00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,667 CROWD CHANTS: Boudicca! Boudicca! 868 00:45:58,042 --> 00:45:59,125 No way! 869 00:45:59,417 --> 00:46:01,500 SHE SCOFFS It's Boudicca. She's here. 870 00:46:01,917 --> 00:46:04,708 CROWD CHANTS: Boudicca! Boudicca! 871 00:46:04,917 --> 00:46:06,000 Come on. 872 00:46:06,417 --> 00:46:08,917 CROWD SHOUTS AND CHEERS 873 00:46:10,500 --> 00:46:12,917 BOUDICCA: Hey! Hello! 874 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:15,333 CROWD CHANTS: Boudicca! - BOUDICCA: Everybody OK? 875 00:46:16,167 --> 00:46:18,167 BOUDICCA: Come, let's do this! 876 00:46:21,583 --> 00:46:23,208 MUSIC PUMPS 877 00:46:56,208 --> 00:46:57,792 CROWD: Yah! 878 00:46:58,542 --> 00:46:59,792 CROWD CHEERS 879 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:01,750 BOUDICCA: What shall we do for an encore? 880 00:47:02,083 --> 00:47:04,333 How about London? - CROWD CHEERS 881 00:47:05,375 --> 00:47:07,667 She's incredible. I mean, look at her. 882 00:47:09,125 --> 00:47:10,125 What are you doing? 883 00:47:10,958 --> 00:47:13,208 Not scared of a few Celts, are you? 884 00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:19,083 Are you just gonna keep dancing 885 00:47:19,167 --> 00:47:20,667 or do you wanna go rescue your gran? 886 00:47:22,583 --> 00:47:23,583 Yeah... 887 00:47:23,958 --> 00:47:24,958 that's what I thought. 888 00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:31,417 MEN CHATTER 889 00:47:34,625 --> 00:47:35,708 ORLA: There's Gran. 890 00:47:36,875 --> 00:47:37,875 Let's go. 891 00:47:39,833 --> 00:47:41,125 You can't just barge in there. 892 00:47:41,417 --> 00:47:42,417 We'll get killed. 893 00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:43,750 We need to be clever. 894 00:47:44,042 --> 00:47:45,042 We need a plan. 895 00:47:45,458 --> 00:47:47,292 Alright, big shot. So what is your plan? 896 00:47:47,583 --> 00:47:49,917 Well, the plan was to escape before we got here. 897 00:47:50,333 --> 00:47:51,417 So now... 898 00:47:52,958 --> 00:47:53,958 No... 899 00:47:54,083 --> 00:47:56,208 got nothing. - You said romans know stuff. 900 00:47:56,750 --> 00:47:57,958 We do. 901 00:48:00,417 --> 00:48:01,833 Yewe do. 902 00:48:04,458 --> 00:48:06,375 A poppy? You're giving me flowers? 903 00:48:06,542 --> 00:48:07,542 No. 904 00:48:07,792 --> 00:48:10,042 There's this roman potion I read about in my scrolls. 905 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,250 Just need a few more ingredients. 906 00:49:00,917 --> 00:49:02,083 MEN CHATTER - 907 00:49:10,708 --> 00:49:12,375 HE STIFLES A SNEEZE 908 00:49:12,542 --> 00:49:13,542 Don't you dare! 909 00:49:14,417 --> 00:49:15,500 It's the tree. 910 00:49:15,958 --> 00:49:17,167 I think I'm... 911 00:49:17,375 --> 00:49:18,667 a, allergic 912 00:49:19,583 --> 00:49:20,625 HE SNEEZES 913 00:49:20,833 --> 00:49:21,833 Whoa! 914 00:49:23,208 --> 00:49:24,292 THEY GRUNT 915 00:49:26,083 --> 00:49:27,917 CELTS SNORE 916 00:49:29,042 --> 00:49:30,042 it worked. 917 00:49:30,833 --> 00:49:32,042 How long before they wake up? 918 00:49:32,125 --> 00:49:33,292 I dunno. 919 00:49:33,458 --> 00:49:34,875 What do you mean, you don't know? 920 00:49:34,958 --> 00:49:36,583 HE SIGHS I've never made it before. 921 00:49:37,167 --> 00:49:38,167 I only read about it. 922 00:49:38,958 --> 00:49:40,583 You mean they could wake up any minute? 923 00:49:42,500 --> 00:49:43,542 Gran. 924 00:49:45,542 --> 00:49:46,667 Gran! 925 00:49:50,333 --> 00:49:51,708 BRENDA: Orla, you came. 926 00:49:53,125 --> 00:49:54,792 What's he doing here? 927 00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:56,417 Long story. - Orla! 928 00:49:56,750 --> 00:49:58,000 Can you chop this off for me? 929 00:49:58,625 --> 00:49:59,625 I'll be back. 930 00:50:01,292 --> 00:50:02,667 The plait. Not the head. 931 00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:05,000 I know, I'm not a savage. 932 00:50:05,417 --> 00:50:06,417 Mm... 933 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,000 Whoa. 934 00:50:36,083 --> 00:50:37,292 Roman catapult. 935 00:50:37,333 --> 00:50:38,542 Technically a ballista. 936 00:50:38,625 --> 00:50:39,917 Awesome. - Well... 937 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,458 It's roman, isn't it? So... 938 00:50:41,917 --> 00:50:43,333 Now all we need is a projectile. 939 00:50:44,292 --> 00:50:45,417 Something heavy. 940 00:50:47,250 --> 00:50:48,625 CELT SNORES 941 00:50:51,625 --> 00:50:53,000 HE GROANS Not that heavy! 942 00:50:53,500 --> 00:50:54,500 BODY THUDS 943 00:50:56,542 --> 00:50:57,875 ORLA: Stand back, gran! 944 00:51:06,542 --> 00:51:09,958 Well done, my little brain ball! 945 00:51:10,333 --> 00:51:12,042 Food. 946 00:51:12,625 --> 00:51:14,667 I am starving. 947 00:51:14,958 --> 00:51:17,125 Gran, no! - SHE SLURPS 948 00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:21,833 CELT ROARS 949 00:51:23,625 --> 00:51:25,250 No, they're waking up. 950 00:51:36,625 --> 00:51:38,250 ZOMBIE-LIKE MOANING 951 00:51:41,875 --> 00:51:42,917 Ha! - HORSE SNORTS 952 00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,880 How do you make it go? - give it a carrot. 953 00:51:44,958 --> 00:51:46,583 What? You got a carrot? - No! 954 00:51:47,750 --> 00:51:49,833 ZOMBIE MOANING CONTINUES - Come on, quick! 955 00:51:50,042 --> 00:51:51,083 HORSE NEIGHS 956 00:51:51,333 --> 00:51:52,625 Whoa! 957 00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:54,833 Atti, where are the brakes? 958 00:51:56,833 --> 00:51:58,208 Orla! - MOANING CONTINUES 959 00:51:59,792 --> 00:52:00,792 ATTI: Wait. 960 00:52:01,208 --> 00:52:02,375 CELTS YELL 961 00:52:04,042 --> 00:52:05,125 Orla, slow down! 962 00:52:07,167 --> 00:52:08,167 Oh, come on! 963 00:52:16,792 --> 00:52:17,792 HE GASPS 964 00:52:21,958 --> 00:52:23,208 Whoooo! - ORLA: We did it! 965 00:52:23,500 --> 00:52:24,500 Whoooo! 966 00:52:33,292 --> 00:52:35,000 PAULINUS: London burns. 967 00:52:35,083 --> 00:52:36,083 Great fire. 968 00:52:36,833 --> 00:52:38,208 Let's hope it never happens again. 969 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,250 And so Boudicca destroys another roman city. 970 00:52:42,292 --> 00:52:43,750 Her army overwhelms us. 971 00:52:44,667 --> 00:52:46,792 CELCIUS: Whoa, that must be him. 972 00:52:47,417 --> 00:52:48,875 That must be Paulinus, the Governor. 973 00:52:49,250 --> 00:52:51,292 He's a lot smaller than he looks in the mosaics. 974 00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:55,292 Centurion Decimus Maximus reporting for duty, sir! 975 00:52:55,750 --> 00:52:57,511 HEROIC MUSIC PLAYS - We may be outnumbered... 976 00:52:57,833 --> 00:52:59,250 we may face certain death... 977 00:53:00,667 --> 00:53:02,542 but we must strike the Celts 978 00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:04,292 for the glory of Rome! 979 00:53:04,583 --> 00:53:06,583 ALL: The glory of Rome! 980 00:53:07,542 --> 00:53:08,833 Is what some might say. 981 00:53:09,083 --> 00:53:10,292 HEROIC MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY 982 00:53:10,750 --> 00:53:13,750 But if we turn this green grass red with our own blood 983 00:53:14,583 --> 00:53:15,833 the Celts will win 984 00:53:16,250 --> 00:53:18,333 and where will the glory of Rome be then? 985 00:53:22,625 --> 00:53:24,333 Better to bide our time. 986 00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:28,333 Wait for another opportunity to confront her. 987 00:53:30,375 --> 00:53:31,917 Would be the words of a coward! 988 00:53:32,292 --> 00:53:33,667 HEROIC MUSIC RESTARTS 989 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:37,875 Our swords once drawn cannot be sheathed 990 00:53:38,083 --> 00:53:40,542 until they slay ten Celts each! 991 00:53:40,958 --> 00:53:43,375 It does not matter if we live or die... 992 00:53:43,458 --> 00:53:44,542 HE SNORTS 993 00:53:45,542 --> 00:53:47,292 would be the words of a rash man. 994 00:53:47,458 --> 00:53:49,167 HEROIC MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY - HE SIGHS 995 00:53:49,833 --> 00:53:50,958 PAULINUS: We will wait. 996 00:53:52,417 --> 00:53:53,625 Let London burn. 997 00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:57,833 We will have our hour later. 998 00:53:59,125 --> 00:54:00,833 Or will we? - HEROIC MUSIC RESTARTS 999 00:54:01,083 --> 00:54:02,667 PAULINUS: Yes, we will. 1000 00:54:05,417 --> 00:54:06,833 And so speaks Paulinus. 1001 00:54:10,125 --> 00:54:11,542 I'm a bit confused now. 1002 00:54:16,208 --> 00:54:18,333 I can't believe we just fired a guy through the air. 1003 00:54:18,417 --> 00:54:20,000 Who taught you how to make a catapult? 1004 00:54:20,042 --> 00:54:22,458 No one. I just read about them in my scrolls. 1005 00:54:23,375 --> 00:54:24,535 Although, I think we may have 1006 00:54:24,583 --> 00:54:25,944 borrowed that idea from the Greeks. 1007 00:54:26,542 --> 00:54:27,542 You stole it? 1008 00:54:27,708 --> 00:54:28,976 Yebut there's loads of other great things 1009 00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:29,875 we did come up with. 1010 00:54:29,958 --> 00:54:31,625 Like what? - roman baths. 1011 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:36,042 Actually, I think we nicked that idea from the Greeks too. 1012 00:54:36,458 --> 00:54:38,250 You romans are such a bunch of thieves. 1013 00:54:38,333 --> 00:54:39,917 Gladiators. They're roman. 1014 00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:41,042 What's a gladiator? 1015 00:54:41,125 --> 00:54:42,750 Someone who fights for entertainment. 1016 00:54:42,833 --> 00:54:44,667 You'd love it. - Yesounds awesome. 1017 00:54:46,458 --> 00:54:47,792 ORLA: I could have cut those ropes 1018 00:54:47,875 --> 00:54:49,292 on the cage with my sword. 1019 00:54:49,375 --> 00:54:50,625 ATTI: Now you tell me. 1020 00:54:53,708 --> 00:54:54,833 Get down. 1021 00:54:55,458 --> 00:54:58,167 Celts. if they see you dressed like that you're in trouble. 1022 00:55:05,833 --> 00:55:07,000 Nice! 1023 00:55:07,417 --> 00:55:08,417 HE SIGHS 1024 00:55:08,792 --> 00:55:09,875 Traffic jam. 1025 00:55:10,375 --> 00:55:12,458 This is Colin, your eye in the sky 1026 00:55:12,542 --> 00:55:13,583 with the travel news. 1027 00:55:13,792 --> 00:55:16,417 And there's heavy congestion on Watling Street. 1028 00:55:16,625 --> 00:55:18,375 It is nose-to-tail out there. 1029 00:55:18,542 --> 00:55:20,125 HORSE FARTS - Phew! 1030 00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:22,625 As thousands of Celts head to join Boudicca's rebellion 1031 00:55:22,917 --> 00:55:25,333 we're seeing jams build up right here 1032 00:55:25,417 --> 00:55:27,208 where three lanes merge into one. 1033 00:55:28,417 --> 00:55:30,542 yes, classic bottleneck. 1034 00:55:32,167 --> 00:55:34,500 you cut me up! 1035 00:55:34,875 --> 00:55:37,500 If you don't shut it, I will cut you up. 1036 00:55:37,708 --> 00:55:39,333 Yeah? - Yeah! 1037 00:55:40,625 --> 00:55:41,833 This is actually happening. 1038 00:55:42,792 --> 00:55:44,417 CROWD CLAMOURS 1039 00:55:49,917 --> 00:55:51,250 CROWD CHANTS: Fight, fight, fight! 1040 00:55:51,375 --> 00:55:53,000 We'll get stuck if we go up there. 1041 00:55:53,750 --> 00:55:54,750 Let's find another way. 1042 00:56:01,792 --> 00:56:02,833 HARP CLINKS 1043 00:56:03,500 --> 00:56:04,500 HARP CLINKS 1044 00:56:06,417 --> 00:56:08,458 HARP CLINKS - FOOTSTEPS RUN AWAY 1045 00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:16,125 Sorry we missed you. You were out. 1046 00:56:16,417 --> 00:56:17,667 Wait! I'm in! 1047 00:56:18,083 --> 00:56:19,250 I'm in, by Jupiter! 1048 00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:25,708 LIQUID SPLASHES - HE SIGHS 1049 00:56:27,625 --> 00:56:29,833 Someone's nervous. 1050 00:56:34,167 --> 00:56:35,167 Sponge? 1051 00:56:35,208 --> 00:56:36,708 Thanks very much. 1052 00:56:37,333 --> 00:56:38,917 caught short were you? 1053 00:56:39,167 --> 00:56:40,167 What news? 1054 00:56:40,625 --> 00:56:43,208 No news, Emperor. I was just passing. 1055 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:44,333 What's that then? 1056 00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:45,500 This? 1057 00:56:45,583 --> 00:56:47,250 It's just a bit of paper... 1058 00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,333 that I'm using to, um... 1059 00:56:49,417 --> 00:56:50,500 HE FARTS 1060 00:56:51,250 --> 00:56:52,250 wipe my bottom. 1061 00:56:52,417 --> 00:56:53,792 Toilet paper? 1062 00:56:54,125 --> 00:56:55,167 That will never catch on. 1063 00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:56,625 You're lying. 1064 00:56:59,500 --> 00:57:00,875 "London has fallen". - HE GASPS 1065 00:57:00,958 --> 00:57:03,042 Boudicca has burnt down another one of my cities. 1066 00:57:03,083 --> 00:57:05,042 Right! No more Mr Nice Guy. 1067 00:57:05,542 --> 00:57:07,542 THEY FART - POO PLOPS 1068 00:57:08,875 --> 00:57:10,792 NERO: this is all your fault, Claudius. 1069 00:57:10,875 --> 00:57:12,876 You had to go and conquer that weird stain Britain. 1070 00:57:12,917 --> 00:57:15,542 Now I'm gonna be the Emperor who lost the roman Empire. 1071 00:57:15,625 --> 00:57:17,833 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: I could help you. 1072 00:57:18,292 --> 00:57:19,292 Whoa! 1073 00:57:19,625 --> 00:57:21,375 Claudius, you speak! 1074 00:57:22,375 --> 00:57:24,176 I'm sorry about the whole murdering you thing. 1075 00:57:24,375 --> 00:57:26,125 CLAUDIUS: Forget about it. 1076 00:57:26,208 --> 00:57:29,458 Want to know how to save Britain? 1077 00:57:30,167 --> 00:57:31,708 Yes, yes, yes. Please, yes. 1078 00:57:32,125 --> 00:57:35,125 CLAUDIUS: Tell Paulinus he cannot win on strength. 1079 00:57:35,750 --> 00:57:38,083 He must use strategy. 1080 00:57:38,167 --> 00:57:40,625 Find a way to trap the Celts. 1081 00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,792 OTrap them, that's good. 1082 00:57:43,042 --> 00:57:45,208 CLAUDIUS: And listen to your mother. 1083 00:57:45,708 --> 00:57:47,167 For she is clever 1084 00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:50,958 and cunning and really quite beautiful. 1085 00:57:51,583 --> 00:57:53,875 Be sure to give her whatever she asks for. 1086 00:57:54,083 --> 00:57:56,542 NERO: Mother! - I'm right, though 1087 00:57:56,625 --> 00:57:58,125 aren't I? 1088 00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:10,500 Orla's back! 1089 00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:16,625 BRENDA YAWNS 1090 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,875 Dad, we did it. We rescued Gran. 1091 00:58:19,042 --> 00:58:20,542 my girl. 1092 00:58:21,167 --> 00:58:22,417 My little Celtic warrior. 1093 00:58:22,500 --> 00:58:23,500 I'm so proud of you. 1094 00:58:23,667 --> 00:58:26,042 Hold on, what's that roman doing back here? 1095 00:58:26,125 --> 00:58:27,645 I thought you was gonna kill him, Orla. 1096 00:58:28,542 --> 00:58:29,792 We could kill him. 1097 00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:32,250 Wait, I um, I helped her rescue Brenda. 1098 00:58:32,458 --> 00:58:34,333 BRENDA: it is true. He did. 1099 00:58:34,583 --> 00:58:36,667 We should be thanking the gods. 1100 00:58:37,042 --> 00:58:38,375 Exactly. - BRENDA: So... 1101 00:58:38,625 --> 00:58:40,125 let's sacrifice him. 1102 00:58:40,458 --> 00:58:42,500 Ahem. What? - Sacrifice. 1103 00:58:42,583 --> 00:58:44,292 Yedrown him in the bog! 1104 00:58:44,417 --> 00:58:45,417 hang on a minute. 1105 00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,292 No, he'll be an offering to our gods. 1106 00:58:47,417 --> 00:58:50,042 You lucky thing. 1107 00:58:50,250 --> 00:58:51,542 It's a great honour. 1108 00:58:51,708 --> 00:58:52,908 - Orla, tell them, please. - Bog! 1109 00:58:53,208 --> 00:58:56,083 Bog! Bog! Bog! 1110 00:58:56,708 --> 00:59:02,167 - Come on! - Orla? Orla help! 1111 00:59:12,958 --> 00:59:15,000 � Bog on the bog � � A bogga bog bog � 1112 00:59:15,042 --> 00:59:16,082 � It's time to bogga bog � 1113 00:59:16,125 --> 00:59:18,125 � Take it to the bog, can't bring it to the bog � 1114 00:59:18,417 --> 00:59:20,042 � A bogga bogga bogga to the max I am � 1115 00:59:20,083 --> 00:59:21,000 � No stopping in the bog � 1116 00:59:21,083 --> 00:59:22,000 � Let's drop him in the bog � 1117 00:59:22,083 --> 00:59:23,542 � Bogga bogga bogga bogga bog � 1118 00:59:23,625 --> 00:59:25,333 � Let's jam, yeah, let's jam, yeah � 1119 00:59:25,500 --> 00:59:27,542 Yeah. As you were. 1120 00:59:29,167 --> 00:59:31,542 - Orla, do something. - Dad wait, just wait. 1121 00:59:34,375 --> 00:59:36,792 Look, me and Atti, we rescued Gran together. 1122 00:59:38,917 --> 00:59:42,875 So I really think I should have the honour of killing him. 1123 00:59:42,958 --> 00:59:43,958 What? 1124 00:59:44,875 --> 00:59:45,875 I thought we were mates. 1125 00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:50,583 - Well, I have proved myself, haven't I? - Yes, yes you have. 1126 00:59:50,958 --> 00:59:52,333 Go on, he's all yours. 1127 00:59:55,875 --> 00:59:56,958 Makes you proud. 1128 00:59:57,208 --> 00:59:58,708 They grow up so fast. 1129 00:59:59,833 --> 01:00:00,833 Seriously? 1130 01:00:01,292 --> 01:00:02,292 After everything? 1131 01:00:02,375 --> 01:00:03,458 Shut up and keep walking. 1132 01:00:04,500 --> 01:00:08,500 When I tell you to run leg it and don't look back. 1133 01:00:08,503 --> 01:00:09,792 Really? 1134 01:00:11,875 --> 01:00:12,958 Won't you get into trouble? 1135 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:15,000 What will your dad say? 1136 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,042 Thanks Orla. 1137 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,750 Run! 1138 01:00:31,958 --> 01:00:34,125 - He's getting away. - She's letting him go. 1139 01:00:40,250 --> 01:00:41,375 What was that for? 1140 01:00:41,500 --> 01:00:43,708 We never get to chuck anyone in the bog any more. 1141 01:00:48,917 --> 01:00:50,000 Dad, I'm sorry. 1142 01:00:51,708 --> 01:00:54,458 - Yeah. - Not a good enough reason. 1143 01:01:14,500 --> 01:01:16,417 Guys! Guys! 1144 01:01:16,833 --> 01:01:17,917 It's me, I found you. 1145 01:01:18,792 --> 01:01:19,833 - Atti! - Yeah. 1146 01:01:19,917 --> 01:01:21,833 We were gonna come and rescue you but... 1147 01:01:21,917 --> 01:01:23,167 CELCIUS: Hello, Atti! 1148 01:01:24,583 --> 01:01:26,083 I've caught the deserter! 1149 01:01:26,208 --> 01:01:27,333 Deserter? What? 1150 01:01:27,708 --> 01:01:30,542 No, I was captured and taken prisoner by a tribe of Celts. 1151 01:01:30,750 --> 01:01:31,934 Tell us the location of this tribe 1152 01:01:31,958 --> 01:01:33,399 and they will feel the wrath of Rome. 1153 01:01:34,167 --> 01:01:37,833 ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS - Beautiful, civilised Rome. 1154 01:01:37,917 --> 01:01:39,917 With its brick walls and proper toilets. 1155 01:01:40,583 --> 01:01:41,875 ITALIAN MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY 1156 01:01:41,958 --> 01:01:42,958 What, soldier? 1157 01:01:44,042 --> 01:01:45,476 I, I can't tell you their location. 1158 01:01:45,500 --> 01:01:47,292 Because there is no such tribe. 1159 01:01:47,542 --> 01:01:49,375 The deserter is to receive 100 lashes. 1160 01:01:49,958 --> 01:01:51,226 Could be worse. - And then is to be 1161 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:53,083 cudgelled to death by his comrades. 1162 01:01:53,167 --> 01:01:54,542 Yeah that's worse. 1163 01:02:57,125 --> 01:02:58,958 Stop that! Stop it! 1164 01:02:59,042 --> 01:03:00,042 It's too slushy! 1165 01:03:00,583 --> 01:03:02,583 I won't have slushy songs, not on my watch. 1166 01:03:03,750 --> 01:03:05,500 Bad for troop morale. 1167 01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,583 Brenda. 1168 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:17,268 You haven't seen Orla, have you? 1169 01:03:17,292 --> 01:03:18,809 I thought she might have followed us back. 1170 01:03:18,833 --> 01:03:20,667 You know where she will have gone, don't you? 1171 01:03:20,750 --> 01:03:21,750 Boudicca. 1172 01:03:22,792 --> 01:03:24,250 And she's gone into battle. 1173 01:03:24,875 --> 01:03:26,000 ARGHUS: Come on! 1174 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:30,250 PAULINUS: Boudicca has destroyed St Albans. 1175 01:03:30,667 --> 01:03:32,458 The Celts outnumber us ten to one. 1176 01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,750 Paulinus cannot win on strength alone. 1177 01:03:34,833 --> 01:03:36,667 Nero wants us to use strategy. 1178 01:03:37,042 --> 01:03:38,708 Find a way to trap the Celts. 1179 01:03:38,792 --> 01:03:40,750 But Paulinus does not know how. 1180 01:03:41,625 --> 01:03:42,625 Atti knows. 1181 01:03:42,917 --> 01:03:43,917 Atti knows how. 1182 01:03:44,125 --> 01:03:46,042 Who's Atti? - He's me. 1183 01:03:46,333 --> 01:03:48,625 Why do you speak of yourself in the third person? 1184 01:03:49,292 --> 01:03:50,375 Only big-heads do that. 1185 01:03:50,708 --> 01:03:52,500 Sorry, sir. - 100 lashes. 1186 01:03:52,667 --> 01:03:53,667 PAULINUS: Wait! 1187 01:03:54,458 --> 01:03:55,458 What have you got to say? 1188 01:03:55,542 --> 01:03:56,708 He's a deserter, sir. 1189 01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:58,000 Not you, him. Hold on... 1190 01:03:58,083 --> 01:03:59,083 A deserter? - No, wait. 1191 01:03:59,167 --> 01:04:00,667 I have an idea, just... 1192 01:04:01,542 --> 01:04:02,917 I can help you, I know stuff. 1193 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,542 Just, please, give me a chance. 1194 01:04:04,958 --> 01:04:06,917 Paulinus will not... - WHIP SNAPS 1195 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,241 ATTI GRUNTS - No, wait, hold on. 1196 01:04:08,292 --> 01:04:11,583 Paulinus will not punish you until he hears your idea. 1197 01:04:11,667 --> 01:04:13,958 Sorry, I thought you meant... - You have one chance. 1198 01:04:15,458 --> 01:04:16,500 Do not fail. 1199 01:04:23,875 --> 01:04:24,875 Hello. 1200 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:27,167 My name is Attilius Minus 1201 01:04:28,042 --> 01:04:29,958 and I was brutally captured by the Celts. 1202 01:04:30,125 --> 01:04:32,125 We don't wanna hear your sob story, boy. 1203 01:04:32,208 --> 01:04:33,458 Nobody likes a cry baby. 1204 01:04:34,333 --> 01:04:37,292 So what's your strategy? - Um, well, what you need 1205 01:04:37,500 --> 01:04:39,375 is a landscape that works as a bottleneck. 1206 01:04:40,167 --> 01:04:41,458 So loads of people can get in 1207 01:04:41,833 --> 01:04:43,833 but only a few can get to the front at one time. 1208 01:04:44,292 --> 01:04:45,458 The rest will be trapped. 1209 01:04:45,875 --> 01:04:47,559 But where are we gonna find somewhere like that? 1210 01:04:47,583 --> 01:04:48,667 HE SNIGGER Idiot. 1211 01:04:48,750 --> 01:04:50,125 I've seen the perfect spot. 1212 01:04:50,208 --> 01:04:51,329 It's just by Watling street. 1213 01:04:51,917 --> 01:04:53,542 Paulinus does not like this plan. 1214 01:04:53,792 --> 01:04:54,833 HE LAUGHS Yeah! 1215 01:05:01,042 --> 01:05:02,167 He loves it. 1216 01:05:03,458 --> 01:05:04,458 Genius. 1217 01:05:04,750 --> 01:05:06,125 The boy's a credit to Rome. 1218 01:05:06,375 --> 01:05:08,417 SOLDIERS CHEER 1219 01:05:23,167 --> 01:05:24,767 Here we are at Watling Street and look... 1220 01:05:25,500 --> 01:05:26,625 it's a bottleneck. 1221 01:05:27,375 --> 01:05:28,375 It's perfect. 1222 01:05:29,750 --> 01:05:31,083 Paulinus will sit here 1223 01:05:31,875 --> 01:05:33,917 and draw the Celts into his trap. 1224 01:05:34,500 --> 01:05:36,000 your trap. Our trap. 1225 01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:40,792 Go. Make sure Boudicca knows exactly where we are. 1226 01:05:42,708 --> 01:05:44,792 Paulinus is gonna slaughter them all. 1227 01:05:44,875 --> 01:05:46,042 Slaughter them? - Yeah. 1228 01:05:46,125 --> 01:05:47,851 What do you mean? - Slaughter, verb. Transitive. 1229 01:05:47,875 --> 01:05:50,125 Meaning to kill or butcher in a brutal or violent manner. 1230 01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:52,625 There, um, there must be a misunderstanding. 1231 01:05:52,833 --> 01:05:54,934 I thought you were just gonna trap them? Take them prisoner. 1232 01:05:54,958 --> 01:05:57,333 No. To oppose Rome is to die. 1233 01:05:57,417 --> 01:05:59,297 And thanks to you, Attilius, the only Celts left 1234 01:05:59,333 --> 01:06:00,458 will be dead Celts. 1235 01:06:04,083 --> 01:06:05,167 What have I done? 1236 01:06:06,083 --> 01:06:08,042 Has anyone heard from Paulinus? 1237 01:06:08,542 --> 01:06:10,167 Has he thought of a strategy? 1238 01:06:10,250 --> 01:06:12,309 Maybe I should just give Britain up as a bad job, yeah? 1239 01:06:12,333 --> 01:06:13,643 Let them keep their miserable little country. 1240 01:06:13,667 --> 01:06:14,875 AGRIPPINA: Oh, my darling. 1241 01:06:15,125 --> 01:06:16,750 Would you like Mummy to take over? 1242 01:06:17,250 --> 01:06:18,250 No, leave me alone. 1243 01:06:18,625 --> 01:06:20,083 message for you. 1244 01:06:20,583 --> 01:06:21,833 A message, my Emperor. 1245 01:06:22,292 --> 01:06:23,583 From Paulinus? 1246 01:06:24,042 --> 01:06:25,083 Boudicca. 1247 01:06:28,917 --> 01:06:29,958 I can't play the lyre? 1248 01:06:30,042 --> 01:06:32,375 Well, she has a point. You never do your practice. 1249 01:06:32,458 --> 01:06:33,792 And I sing like a girl? 1250 01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:37,833 Well that's what it says. 1251 01:06:38,333 --> 01:06:39,333 SHE SIGHS 1252 01:06:39,417 --> 01:06:41,458 Let me give you some advice. - Right, that's it. 1253 01:06:41,542 --> 01:06:43,583 Will someone just do me a favour and killer her? 1254 01:06:44,500 --> 01:06:45,833 KNIFE SWOOSHES - Ow! 1255 01:06:47,958 --> 01:06:49,458 SHE GASPS 1256 01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:52,500 I meant Boudicca. 1257 01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,125 Hm? - 1258 01:06:57,000 --> 01:06:58,375 Sorry. - Don't be. 1259 01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:00,333 It's a good job, unsubtle but effective. 1260 01:07:00,417 --> 01:07:01,697 I was probably over-thinking it. 1261 01:07:01,750 --> 01:07:02,750 I should thank you. 1262 01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:04,500 HE CHUCKLES Thank you, my Emperor. 1263 01:07:04,750 --> 01:07:06,333 But you did just kill my mother 1264 01:07:06,625 --> 01:07:08,250 so I will have to execute you instead. 1265 01:07:08,917 --> 01:07:10,042 Guards. 1266 01:07:10,458 --> 01:07:13,375 Ugh! After all that I've done for you? 1267 01:07:14,542 --> 01:07:16,917 I never liked you anyway. 1268 01:07:18,667 --> 01:07:20,507 Now that she's gone, that just leaves Boudicca. 1269 01:07:21,125 --> 01:07:23,125 Watch out, woad face, Rome is comin' atcha! 1270 01:07:26,208 --> 01:07:27,667 ARMIES CLAMOUR 1271 01:07:29,708 --> 01:07:31,667 Aye, well, there's loads of us now. 1272 01:07:31,958 --> 01:07:34,917 Well, excitement here is reaching fever pitch. 1273 01:07:35,208 --> 01:07:37,500 The headline act is due on any minute 1274 01:07:37,583 --> 01:07:39,250 and what a turn out. 1275 01:07:39,458 --> 01:07:41,625 Cartloads of fans have come to see the show. 1276 01:07:41,750 --> 01:07:43,311 And they haven't been put off by the mud 1277 01:07:43,375 --> 01:07:44,875 or the terrible toilets. 1278 01:07:44,958 --> 01:07:47,667 No, I dropped my sword down there! 1279 01:07:50,750 --> 01:07:52,250 CROWD CLAMOURS 1280 01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:55,292 And here she is now, the woman of the moment. 1281 01:07:55,542 --> 01:07:57,250 Queen B! Queen B! 1282 01:07:57,708 --> 01:08:00,583 Hello, Watling Street. It's great to be here. 1283 01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:03,042 Let's see if we can go and speak to her. 1284 01:08:03,333 --> 01:08:06,250 Boudicca. Colchester, London... 1285 01:08:06,333 --> 01:08:09,583 St Albans. You destroyed them all, I mean, what a tour! 1286 01:08:09,667 --> 01:08:11,208 Yethanks. - GIRL: I love you! 1287 01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:14,417 And the followers here certainly seem fired up for a big finale. 1288 01:08:14,542 --> 01:08:15,583 Yewell, you know. 1289 01:08:15,667 --> 01:08:17,500 I wanted to give the fans what they're after. 1290 01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:20,500 Get them right up close to the action looking at me. 1291 01:08:20,625 --> 01:08:21,708 Now, I've got to ask 1292 01:08:21,833 --> 01:08:24,750 if you do need to retreat won't these carts be in the way? 1293 01:08:25,875 --> 01:08:27,875 Retreat? SHE LAUGHS 1294 01:08:28,250 --> 01:08:30,000 I don't know the meaning of the word. 1295 01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:32,833 You know, there are only 10,000 of them. 1296 01:08:33,042 --> 01:08:34,500 There's 100,000 of us. 1297 01:08:34,792 --> 01:08:36,167 We're gonna knock 'em dead! 1298 01:08:36,542 --> 01:08:38,667 Well, confident fighting talk there. 1299 01:08:38,792 --> 01:08:40,708 Now over to the battlefield. 1300 01:08:46,125 --> 01:08:47,643 ARGHUS: How are we gonna find her here? 1301 01:08:47,667 --> 01:08:49,333 BRENDA: There are so many people. 1302 01:08:50,500 --> 01:08:51,500 Orla! 1303 01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,042 Orla! 1304 01:08:53,417 --> 01:08:54,417 Dad? 1305 01:08:54,750 --> 01:08:57,250 I'm a warrior! Look at me! Whoo! 1306 01:09:01,167 --> 01:09:02,708 ORLA: Wait, I'm not ready. 1307 01:09:04,458 --> 01:09:06,667 Wait, stop, wait, dad! 1308 01:09:08,333 --> 01:09:09,583 Dad, help me! 1309 01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:10,792 I've changed my mind! 1310 01:09:16,417 --> 01:09:17,542 ORLA SHOUTS: Dad! 1311 01:09:17,625 --> 01:09:19,500 ARGHUS: Orla, where are you? 1312 01:09:20,375 --> 01:09:21,958 MUSIC STARTS 1313 01:10:22,083 --> 01:10:24,708 we just gotta get our praying out of the way. 1314 01:10:24,875 --> 01:10:26,208 Yeus too, yeah. 1315 01:11:30,500 --> 01:11:31,583 ARMY ROARS 1316 01:11:58,208 --> 01:12:00,458 MUSIC STOPS - ARMIES SHOUT AND GRUNT 1317 01:12:04,667 --> 01:12:05,958 "Come on holiday", you said. 1318 01:12:06,667 --> 01:12:08,750 "Britain's nice this time of year", you said. 1319 01:12:10,250 --> 01:12:11,333 I want a divorce. 1320 01:12:14,125 --> 01:12:15,208 Fair enough. 1321 01:12:15,958 --> 01:12:17,083 Anyone missing a head? 1322 01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,250 No! 1323 01:12:29,333 --> 01:12:30,583 Atti! - Orla! 1324 01:12:31,208 --> 01:12:32,375 Thanks. Duck! 1325 01:12:35,417 --> 01:12:42,272 - Pretend you're fighting me. - Do you still wanna be a warrior? 1326 01:12:42,417 --> 01:12:43,577 I just wanna get out of here. 1327 01:12:43,917 --> 01:12:45,583 - Team? - Team. 1328 01:12:48,083 --> 01:12:52,500 - Run away! - I can't go through! It's blocked! 1329 01:12:52,500 --> 01:12:55,333 Sorry. 1330 01:12:59,667 --> 01:13:01,333 Boudicca. Let me kill her. 1331 01:13:12,083 --> 01:13:13,292 Celcius. 1332 01:13:13,542 --> 01:13:15,458 How does it feel to be bested by a girl? 1333 01:13:15,708 --> 01:13:18,083 I will never, ever be bested by a girl. 1334 01:13:18,250 --> 01:13:21,667 Bested. 1335 01:13:26,708 --> 01:13:30,208 Thanks, kid. You're the best. 1336 01:13:32,375 --> 01:13:36,250 - Keep it. It's yours. - Really? I'm such a fan. 1337 01:13:37,250 --> 01:13:39,583 Being famous is not all it's cracked up to be, you know. 1338 01:13:40,417 --> 01:13:41,792 There's a lot of haters out there. 1339 01:13:43,208 --> 01:13:44,489 But you've got real talent, kid. 1340 01:13:45,000 --> 01:13:46,375 Do you think? 1341 01:13:46,708 --> 01:13:49,167 Sure. You remind me of me at your age. 1342 01:13:50,625 --> 01:13:52,250 Right, I've gotta roll. 1343 01:13:56,375 --> 01:13:57,417 Where's she gone? 1344 01:13:57,625 --> 01:13:58,750 Orla! 1345 01:13:59,375 --> 01:14:01,458 Orla, come quick! It's your dad! 1346 01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:08,292 - Dad? - I know what to do. 1347 01:14:08,458 --> 01:14:10,000 - I can help. - Back off, roman. 1348 01:14:10,292 --> 01:14:12,052 Dougal's getting some proper celtic medicine. 1349 01:14:12,583 --> 01:14:13,624 Stand back, please. 1350 01:14:14,375 --> 01:14:15,875 Give him a lick. Give him a lick. 1351 01:14:16,083 --> 01:14:17,250 Go on. Who's a good boy? 1352 01:14:17,542 --> 01:14:18,708 Who's a good boy? 1353 01:14:19,042 --> 01:14:20,375 Don't do that, it's unhygienic. 1354 01:14:20,875 --> 01:14:22,042 You need to clean the wound. 1355 01:14:24,292 --> 01:14:26,375 Bees. Go get me some honey from that nest. 1356 01:14:26,958 --> 01:14:28,750 Seriously? - Honey is antiseptic. 1357 01:14:29,417 --> 01:14:30,875 Listen to him. He knows his stuff. 1358 01:14:31,625 --> 01:14:32,625 DOUGAL GRUMBLES 1359 01:14:34,042 --> 01:14:35,542 What's that? - Vinegar. 1360 01:14:36,417 --> 01:14:37,458 Stops infections. 1361 01:14:38,958 --> 01:14:40,583 DOUGAL GRUNTS - BEES BUZZ ANGRILY 1362 01:14:40,708 --> 01:14:42,458 You little bees. 1363 01:14:44,250 --> 01:14:45,292 Is he gonna be OK? 1364 01:14:46,958 --> 01:14:48,500 DOUGAL: Here's the honey. - Thanks. 1365 01:14:51,875 --> 01:14:53,000 I think he'll be alright. 1366 01:14:53,833 --> 01:14:54,833 It's all my fault. 1367 01:14:55,167 --> 01:14:56,208 It's not your fault. 1368 01:14:56,792 --> 01:14:57,792 It's mine. 1369 01:14:58,458 --> 01:15:00,792 It was me who told Paulinus about the bottleneck. 1370 01:15:01,333 --> 01:15:03,250 What? - I'm such an idiot. 1371 01:15:03,917 --> 01:15:04,958 No, you're not. 1372 01:15:05,458 --> 01:15:06,500 You're clever. 1373 01:15:08,792 --> 01:15:10,083 That's why I like you. 1374 01:15:11,375 --> 01:15:13,458 Thanks, Orla. - But don't get me wrong. 1375 01:15:14,208 --> 01:15:15,792 You still messed up, big time. 1376 01:15:17,250 --> 01:15:18,250 ARGHUS GROANS 1377 01:15:19,042 --> 01:15:20,667 Dad! - Hello. 1378 01:15:21,333 --> 01:15:22,833 Huh, oh... 1379 01:15:23,292 --> 01:15:25,458 That feels better already, you know. 1380 01:15:26,750 --> 01:15:28,083 Got anything for bee stings? 1381 01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:31,042 I am so proud of you. 1382 01:15:32,458 --> 01:15:34,542 You are a fine Celtic warrior. 1383 01:15:35,625 --> 01:15:36,708 And that sword... 1384 01:15:37,542 --> 01:15:38,667 is yours to keep. 1385 01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:40,333 Thanks, dad. 1386 01:15:43,042 --> 01:15:44,875 But I don't wanna be a warrior anymore. 1387 01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:46,958 Fighting is stupid. 1388 01:15:47,042 --> 01:15:48,125 People get hurt. 1389 01:15:48,792 --> 01:15:50,583 SWORD SWOOSHES - MAN YELLS 1390 01:15:51,917 --> 01:15:53,042 Sorry, Dougal! 1391 01:15:56,167 --> 01:15:57,250 Did we win? 1392 01:16:02,125 --> 01:16:03,917 PAULINUS: Paulinus is victorious! 1393 01:16:04,750 --> 01:16:06,958 Throw down your weapons, Celts! It's over! 1394 01:16:09,958 --> 01:16:12,625 Agree to live under Nero's law 1395 01:16:12,667 --> 01:16:14,542 and Paulinus will show mercy. 1396 01:16:14,958 --> 01:16:16,333 But we, we don't wanna be roman. 1397 01:16:16,458 --> 01:16:18,000 To oppose Rome is to die. 1398 01:16:18,667 --> 01:16:19,833 Fair enough. Yay, Rome. 1399 01:16:19,958 --> 01:16:21,500 Rome brings civilisation. 1400 01:16:21,625 --> 01:16:23,417 I like being uncivilised! 1401 01:16:23,750 --> 01:16:25,125 SHE BURPS AND LAUGHS 1402 01:16:25,875 --> 01:16:27,042 For Jupiter's sake! 1403 01:16:27,208 --> 01:16:28,875 CELT FARTS - PAULINUS: Who was that? 1404 01:16:28,958 --> 01:16:30,042 I'm Fartacus. 1405 01:16:30,125 --> 01:16:31,667 THEY LAUGH - MAN 1: No, no. 1406 01:16:31,875 --> 01:16:33,125 I'm Fartacus. 1407 01:16:33,250 --> 01:16:34,250 No. I'm Fartacus. 1408 01:16:34,375 --> 01:16:36,333 CELTS LAUGH - I'm Fartacus. 1409 01:16:36,417 --> 01:16:38,417 CELTS LAUGH - I'm Fartacus. 1410 01:16:39,542 --> 01:16:41,458 I'm Fartacus and so is my wife. 1411 01:16:42,583 --> 01:16:44,792 CELTS LAUGH - CELTS BLOW RASPBERRIES 1412 01:16:46,500 --> 01:16:49,417 Send news to Nero that Paulinus has vanquished the Celts. 1413 01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:50,500 Although... 1414 01:16:50,583 --> 01:16:52,125 frankly, I don't know why we bothered. 1415 01:16:53,542 --> 01:16:54,542 Centurion. 1416 01:16:54,917 --> 01:16:56,000 You've served Rome well. 1417 01:16:56,333 --> 01:16:59,208 ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS - Sweet Rome. 1418 01:16:59,292 --> 01:17:01,268 I don't mind telling you, I've missed the place a bit. 1419 01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,333 By way of reward 1420 01:17:02,417 --> 01:17:05,208 Nero gives you ten acres of land for your retirement. 1421 01:17:05,708 --> 01:17:07,250 Thank you, sir. 1422 01:17:08,250 --> 01:17:10,458 Where is it? Tuscany? Capri? 1423 01:17:10,958 --> 01:17:12,583 Essex. - ITALIAN MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY 1424 01:17:12,667 --> 01:17:14,083 HE CRIES 1425 01:17:15,125 --> 01:17:16,458 HE SOBS 1426 01:17:16,667 --> 01:17:17,958 SOLDIERS MURMUR 1427 01:17:18,500 --> 01:17:19,625 PAULINUS: Attilius Minus. 1428 01:17:22,583 --> 01:17:23,667 Rome thanks you. 1429 01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:25,167 Without you... 1430 01:17:25,750 --> 01:17:27,958 we should not have come to victory in this battle. 1431 01:17:28,250 --> 01:17:29,958 Yeah. Let's not make a big deal of it. 1432 01:17:30,042 --> 01:17:32,125 Nero will want to reward you himself. 1433 01:17:32,625 --> 01:17:33,750 Come. 1434 01:17:34,042 --> 01:17:35,083 But wait, now? 1435 01:17:35,167 --> 01:17:37,542 Back in Rome you will be celebrated as a hero. 1436 01:17:38,167 --> 01:17:40,333 You'll have all the scrolls you've ever dreamed of. 1437 01:17:40,417 --> 01:17:41,625 You'll be well famous. 1438 01:17:41,708 --> 01:17:43,833 Can I have your signature? - I wanna go home! 1439 01:17:45,208 --> 01:17:47,917 Wait. Why doesn't Decimus go in my place? 1440 01:17:48,208 --> 01:17:50,000 Why? - It doesn't matter. Who cares? 1441 01:17:50,083 --> 01:17:51,083 It's a brilliant idea. 1442 01:17:51,333 --> 01:17:52,583 Here, he can even have my land. 1443 01:17:53,292 --> 01:17:56,458 ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS Rome, sweet Rome, wahoo! 1444 01:17:56,542 --> 01:17:58,208 ITALIAN MUSIC FADES 1445 01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:01,750 The thing is, I... I kind of like it here. 1446 01:18:02,500 --> 01:18:03,500 I like the people. 1447 01:18:04,292 --> 01:18:06,125 But they're stupid. - They're not stupid. 1448 01:18:06,208 --> 01:18:07,500 They're just different. 1449 01:18:08,083 --> 01:18:09,583 I've learned stuff from them 1450 01:18:09,875 --> 01:18:11,000 and we've shared some fun. 1451 01:18:11,708 --> 01:18:14,500 Anyway, I see this as Paulinus's victory. 1452 01:18:14,917 --> 01:18:16,292 You should have all the glory. 1453 01:18:17,417 --> 01:18:18,500 Yeyou're right. 1454 01:18:19,208 --> 01:18:21,458 Paulinus does deserve to take the credit. 1455 01:18:22,458 --> 01:18:23,625 Bring the prisoner. 1456 01:18:24,125 --> 01:18:25,750 What prisoner? - PAULINUS: Boudicca. 1457 01:18:27,208 --> 01:18:28,292 Uh... 1458 01:18:29,167 --> 01:18:30,167 About that, she... 1459 01:18:30,208 --> 01:18:31,750 Don't tell me you let her get away? 1460 01:18:31,833 --> 01:18:34,000 Uh... - What happened to her? 1461 01:18:34,083 --> 01:18:35,542 What will Paulinus tell Nero? 1462 01:18:36,083 --> 01:18:37,083 You have failed. 1463 01:18:37,542 --> 01:18:40,125 You will receive your just reward when we return to Rome. 1464 01:18:43,167 --> 01:18:44,583 TIMIDIUS: Ooooooh! 1465 01:18:44,875 --> 01:18:46,333 THEY GIGGLE 1466 01:18:49,333 --> 01:18:50,833 THEY LAUGH 1467 01:19:02,250 --> 01:19:03,292 Emperor. 1468 01:19:04,708 --> 01:19:07,042 Paulinus brings news of a great victory. 1469 01:19:07,125 --> 01:19:09,000 Yes, I heard. I won. 1470 01:19:09,125 --> 01:19:11,625 Write that down, historian. "Nero won a great victory". 1471 01:19:12,375 --> 01:19:14,417 So tell me, how exactly did I kill Boudicca? 1472 01:19:15,083 --> 01:19:16,333 er, yeah. 1473 01:19:17,667 --> 01:19:20,167 Paulinus knows not the exact nature of Boudicca's fate. 1474 01:19:20,667 --> 01:19:21,833 But she is dead, right? 1475 01:19:21,917 --> 01:19:23,637 Because if she isn't, I know someone who is. 1476 01:19:24,333 --> 01:19:27,500 No, no, no. She's dead. She's definitely dead. 1477 01:19:27,503 --> 01:19:29,542 It's just the "how" is up to you. 1478 01:19:29,625 --> 01:19:32,500 - What do you mean? - Well, history is written by the victor. 1479 01:19:32,503 --> 01:19:33,542 Yeah that's right. 1480 01:19:34,417 --> 01:19:35,958 So, write this down historian. 1481 01:19:36,792 --> 01:19:46,500 Boudicca was so frightened by the magnificent heroic Nero, that she poisoned herself. 1482 01:19:46,508 --> 01:19:47,417 And that's it. That's true. 1483 01:19:49,125 --> 01:19:51,292 I'm thinking of wearing these to my victory parade. 1484 01:19:51,958 --> 01:19:53,083 What do you think? Bit much? 1485 01:19:53,500 --> 01:19:54,833 Paulinus would have to say... 1486 01:19:54,917 --> 01:19:56,458 No. 1487 01:19:57,917 --> 01:19:59,167 Seem very dark, though. 1488 01:19:59,208 --> 01:20:00,643 Of course they are. They're sunglasses. 1489 01:20:00,667 --> 01:20:01,667 I've just invented them. 1490 01:20:01,708 --> 01:20:03,208 Right, is everything secure? 1491 01:20:03,250 --> 01:20:05,583 Yes. My men have checked everywhere for assassins, sir. 1492 01:20:07,125 --> 01:20:08,458 All clear. 1493 01:20:09,042 --> 01:20:10,458 Well then, let's do this. 1494 01:20:11,542 --> 01:20:12,708 Sorry. 1495 01:20:13,625 --> 01:20:17,125 Nero! Nero! Nero! 1496 01:20:26,042 --> 01:20:28,250 Historian, don't you dare write that down. 1497 01:20:32,833 --> 01:20:35,125 Hail Mercury, messenger of the gods. 1498 01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:37,333 Pray send word that Atti is safe. 1499 01:20:37,417 --> 01:20:38,583 Here's a letter from Atti. 1500 01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:40,167 That was quick! 1501 01:20:40,458 --> 01:20:41,875 What does he say? 1502 01:20:42,000 --> 01:20:43,833 Britain good. 1503 01:20:43,917 --> 01:20:46,125 Celts helping me build a house to live in. 1504 01:20:46,333 --> 01:20:48,083 The savages are lovely. 1505 01:20:50,125 --> 01:20:52,167 - I think that says "sausages". - Yeah. 1506 01:20:54,000 --> 01:20:55,167 Atti. 1507 01:20:56,000 --> 01:20:57,292 Fancy joining us for dinner? 1508 01:20:57,792 --> 01:20:59,500 Yes, please. What is it? 1509 01:20:59,750 --> 01:21:01,458 - Baked parsnip. - Lovely. 1510 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,958 Need some rotten fish gut sauce with that? 1511 01:21:04,417 --> 01:21:05,417 Dad? 1512 01:21:06,542 --> 01:21:08,250 Mum, dad, you came. 1513 01:21:11,458 --> 01:21:15,500 He talked so much about Britain in his letters we wanted to see it for ourselves. 1514 01:21:15,542 --> 01:21:16,875 Well, what do you think? 1515 01:21:17,417 --> 01:21:21,208 - Atti has taught us how to make concrete. - Like it. 1516 01:21:21,417 --> 01:21:22,417 Nice one, son. 1517 01:21:28,042 --> 01:21:29,042 Have a swig of this. 1518 01:21:29,417 --> 01:21:31,667 What is it? - We call it wine. 1519 01:21:32,208 --> 01:21:33,667 It's basically rotten grape juice 1520 01:21:33,750 --> 01:21:34,809 which gives you a massive headache 1521 01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:36,143 and makes you embarrass your kids. 1522 01:21:36,167 --> 01:21:37,792 Sounds right up my street. 1523 01:21:38,292 --> 01:21:39,292 Mm. 1524 01:21:39,375 --> 01:21:40,792 I've got a brooch just like that. 1525 01:21:42,292 --> 01:21:43,292 Really? 1526 01:21:45,375 --> 01:21:46,375 Salut?. 1527 01:21:46,792 --> 01:21:48,625 MUSIC STARTS 1528 01:23:40,833 --> 01:23:42,333 MUSIC STOPS - They won't will they? 1529 01:23:42,750 --> 01:23:44,417 No, not for about seven years, or so. 1530 01:24:16,125 --> 01:24:18,542 THEY LAUGH - THEY CHATTER 1531 01:24:19,208 --> 01:24:20,708 OK? 1532 01:24:22,167 --> 01:24:23,667 Did I miss anything? HE CHUCKLES 1533 01:24:29,917 --> 01:24:31,500 What have you done with your hair? 1534 01:24:31,542 --> 01:24:32,542 Looks different. 1535 01:24:32,583 --> 01:24:34,000 Like Boudicca. - Yewell... 1536 01:24:34,583 --> 01:24:36,292 I'm gonna be Queen of the tribe one day. 1537 01:24:36,375 --> 01:24:38,292 Someone's gotta kick all the romans out. 1538 01:24:39,250 --> 01:24:40,292 You are joking, right? 1539 01:24:41,375 --> 01:24:42,375 Might be. 1540 01:24:44,167 --> 01:24:45,208 Come on. 1541 01:25:13,333 --> 01:25:15,625 � Time flies Our story's done � 1542 01:25:16,000 --> 01:25:19,083 � But history keeps rolling on � 1543 01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:21,958 � Big winners, epic fails � 1544 01:25:22,375 --> 01:25:25,625 � Two sides to every tale � 1545 01:25:26,042 --> 01:25:28,917 � Time flies, it's been a blast � 1546 01:25:29,125 --> 01:25:32,833 � But history is built to last � 1547 01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:35,542 � One empire gets the sack � 1548 01:25:35,792 --> 01:25:38,500 � Another one strikes back � 1549 01:25:39,083 --> 01:25:42,167 � Time flies � 1550 01:25:42,500 --> 01:25:45,000 � We're through � 1551 01:25:45,375 --> 01:25:48,500 � Still history's � 1552 01:25:48,792 --> 01:25:52,042 � Got plans for you � 1553 01:25:52,542 --> 01:25:54,625 Boo! HE CHUCKLES 1554 01:25:54,875 --> 01:25:55,917 Fooled you! 1555 01:25:56,375 --> 01:25:58,333 wait, don't go yet! 1556 01:25:58,542 --> 01:25:59,958 You'll miss the best bit! 1557 01:26:00,458 --> 01:26:02,208 Oh no, not all the names. 1558 01:26:02,542 --> 01:26:04,500 There's so many names. 1559 01:26:05,083 --> 01:26:08,292 Why are there so many names? 1560 01:26:08,875 --> 01:26:10,083 HE YAWNS 1561 01:26:13,792 --> 01:26:16,375 The best bit is where I tell you what was true 1562 01:26:16,708 --> 01:26:19,417 and 100% accu-rat! 1563 01:26:19,833 --> 01:26:21,309 I bet you're wondering what really happened 1564 01:26:21,333 --> 01:26:22,417 to Boudicca, aren't you? 1565 01:26:22,583 --> 01:26:24,583 Yewell, so is everyone. 1566 01:26:25,083 --> 01:26:26,833 One roman historian did write 1567 01:26:26,917 --> 01:26:29,792 that she poisoned herself after the battle 1568 01:26:29,875 --> 01:26:31,292 to avoid being captured. 1569 01:26:31,750 --> 01:26:33,500 But another one said she died from illness 1570 01:26:33,583 --> 01:26:35,708 and had this great big elaborate funeral. 1571 01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:39,458 So, basically, you can make up your own mind. 1572 01:26:39,833 --> 01:26:45,542 One thing's for sure, the romans didn't capture Boudicca or they'd have taken her back to Rome 1573 01:26:45,708 --> 01:26:47,417 and bragged about it big time. 1574 01:26:47,667 --> 01:26:49,583 You know what those romans are like. 1575 01:26:49,833 --> 01:26:51,583 Hang on! 1576 01:26:52,042 --> 01:26:55,208 Look at all that popcorn and sweets, you've dropped on the floor! 1577 01:26:55,583 --> 01:26:58,250 That's not nearly enough! 1578 01:26:58,667 --> 01:27:01,000 I'm coming down there to stuff my little furry face. 1579 01:27:01,250 --> 01:27:02,333 Back in a tick. 1580 01:27:03,583 --> 01:27:07,500 � The sun is always shining here � � This city we call home � 1581 01:27:07,508 --> 01:27:09,875 A rat! It's a rat! 1582 01:27:10,208 --> 01:27:12,042 � An empire ruled by Rome � 1583 01:27:12,167 --> 01:27:13,601 - What was that? - � Togas, roman baths � 1584 01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:14,542 � And roads � 1585 01:27:14,583 --> 01:27:16,292 � Creations that we spread � 1586 01:27:16,542 --> 01:27:18,667 � Conquered people welcomed us � 1587 01:27:18,750 --> 01:27:20,230 � Cos if they didn't, they'd be dead � 1588 01:27:20,292 --> 01:27:21,393 Look mummy, there's a rat! 1589 01:27:21,417 --> 01:27:23,458 � Rome, we colonise ya! � 1590 01:27:23,542 --> 01:27:25,625 - � Rome, we civilise ya! � - It's a rat! 1591 01:27:25,708 --> 01:27:27,833 � Rome, and we brutalise ya! � 1592 01:27:27,917 --> 01:27:32,250 � There's no place like Rome � 1593 01:27:35,042 --> 01:27:39,000 A particularly big thank you, to whoever was sitting in row 12. 1594 01:27:39,125 --> 01:27:42,542 Yes, you. You are my favourite litter bugs. 1595 01:27:45,833 --> 01:27:50,417 So anyway, the film is cram-packed with juicy facts. 1596 01:27:50,667 --> 01:27:54,000 Like Agrippina really did bump off husband Claudius 1597 01:27:54,083 --> 01:27:56,833 with a poison feather so her son could be Emperor. 1598 01:27:56,917 --> 01:28:01,500 And she put her own face on the coins, and generally annoyed Nero so much 1599 01:28:01,500 --> 01:28:02,667 that he had her killed. 1600 01:28:02,833 --> 01:28:08,542 Yeah, after trying the booby-trapped boat, and a collapsible bedroom ceiling. 1601 01:28:12,125 --> 01:28:13,750 Fizzy. 1602 01:28:14,208 --> 01:28:16,792 Then it was Nero's turn to meet a sticky end. 1603 01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:19,292 He ended up being betrayed by his own men. 1604 01:28:19,875 --> 01:28:21,750 And speaking of sticky... 1605 01:28:21,917 --> 01:28:24,167 Look at this. It's bubble-gum! 1606 01:28:26,333 --> 01:28:30,042 It's a bit hairy, but do you know what? It's just how I like it. 1607 01:28:33,500 --> 01:28:35,042 Note to self. 1608 01:28:35,375 --> 01:28:38,208 Never drink fizzy drinks and swallow bubble-gum! 1609 01:28:46,000 --> 01:28:47,500 Now I'm Fartacus. 1610 01:28:47,917 --> 01:28:49,375 Think I need a shower. 1611 01:28:49,458 --> 01:28:50,833 In horse wee, of course. 1612 01:28:51,542 --> 01:28:55,708 Whilst I do that do you want to hear the rest of Atti and Orla's soppy song? 1613 01:28:55,833 --> 01:28:58,125 You know, the one that got so rudely interrupted. 1614 01:28:58,667 --> 01:28:59,958 You know you do. 1615 01:29:00,083 --> 01:29:03,500 Well, here it is! 1616 01:29:03,500 --> 01:29:20,499 Adaptarea: Legendofmir Traducerea: DOOMNEZEU 1617 01:29:17,502 --> 01:29:18,750 � I'm in a bind � 1618 01:29:18,958 --> 01:29:20,417 � That's what I find � 1619 01:29:20,917 --> 01:29:23,750 � Cos I went with my heart not my head � 1620 01:29:24,083 --> 01:29:28,500 � Couldn't let them hurt her � � Now, I'm a deserter � 1621 01:29:28,500 --> 01:29:30,583 � Should I have betrayed her instead? � 1622 01:29:31,042 --> 01:29:32,500 � Thought I was strong � 1623 01:29:32,708 --> 01:29:34,208 � Maybe I'm wrong � 1624 01:29:34,458 --> 01:29:37,750 � Made a friend of my enemy, Rome � 1625 01:29:38,708 --> 01:29:39,917 � Lacked the killer punch � 1626 01:29:40,000 --> 01:29:41,458 � When it came to the crunch � 1627 01:29:41,708 --> 01:29:43,083 � Now, I'm Orla... � 1628 01:29:43,167 --> 01:29:44,875 � All alone � 1629 01:29:45,667 --> 01:29:46,768 � Wish I could turn � 1630 01:29:46,792 --> 01:29:48,375 � the sundial back � 1631 01:29:48,500 --> 01:29:51,333 � To before I felt this pain � 1632 01:29:51,625 --> 01:29:53,125 � Having a BFF � 1633 01:29:53,208 --> 01:29:54,875 � Made my life a mess � 1634 01:29:55,125 --> 01:30:00,083 - �Will I ever see her again? � - � Will I ever see him again? � 1635 01:30:00,167 --> 01:30:05,500 � I, I miss you � 1636 01:30:06,958 --> 01:30:13,083 � Sorry I dissed you � 1637 01:30:13,625 --> 01:30:16,417 � First time that I met you � 1638 01:30:16,958 --> 01:30:20,250 � You drove me round the bend � 1639 01:30:20,542 --> 01:30:22,625 � Now � 1640 01:30:23,292 --> 01:30:25,417 � You're a friend � 1641 01:30:39,583 --> 01:30:41,250 ATTI: � I put her first � 1642 01:30:41,417 --> 01:30:42,958 � Seems that's the worst... � 1643 01:30:43,792 --> 01:30:46,000 � ...crime a soldier can commit � 1644 01:30:46,333 --> 01:30:47,750 � But I don't care � 1645 01:30:47,917 --> 01:30:49,375 � The adventures we shared � 1646 01:30:50,292 --> 01:30:52,708 � I loved every second of it � 1647 01:30:52,958 --> 01:30:54,500 ORLA: � I'll take my sword � 1648 01:30:54,625 --> 01:30:56,417 � Join Boudicca's hoard � 1649 01:30:56,625 --> 01:30:59,792 � Lead the fight to our enemy road � 1650 01:31:00,042 --> 01:31:03,333 � But my head is reeling, I'm left with the feeling � 1651 01:31:03,417 --> 01:31:04,750 � I'm Orla... � 1652 01:31:04,917 --> 01:31:06,458 � All alone � 1653 01:31:06,958 --> 01:31:08,250 BOTH SING: � Wish I could turn � 1654 01:31:08,333 --> 01:31:09,958 � The sundial back � 1655 01:31:10,042 --> 01:31:13,000 � To before I felt this pain � 1656 01:31:13,083 --> 01:31:14,875 � Having a BFF � 1657 01:31:14,958 --> 01:31:16,500 � Made my life a mess � 1658 01:31:16,667 --> 01:31:21,500 � Will I ever see her again? � - � Will I ever see him again? � 1659 01:31:22,000 --> 01:31:27,500 � I, I miss you � 1660 01:31:27,792 --> 01:31:30,125 Right, that's it, film done. 1661 01:31:30,208 --> 01:31:32,292 Until the inevitable sequel. 1662 01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:34,875 I'm part of the Hollywood in crowd now. 1663 01:31:35,167 --> 01:31:38,083 I'm going round to Scarlett Johansson's place. Yeah. 1664 01:31:38,500 --> 01:31:39,708 I haven't been invited. 1665 01:31:39,833 --> 01:31:41,792 I'm just gonna sneak in through the u-bend. 1666 01:31:42,125 --> 01:31:44,500 And see you at the Oscars. Yeah. 1667 01:31:44,583 --> 01:31:46,250 I'm gonna sneak in there an all! 1668 01:31:46,333 --> 01:31:48,417 Bye! 1669 01:31:48,667 --> 01:31:51,375 � You're a friend � 1670 01:31:54,833 --> 01:31:56,917 � You're a friend � 1671 01:32:02,250 --> 01:32:24,167 � Your friend. � 117417

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.