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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,932
We are not gonna do anything
embarrassing, right?
2
00:00:03,933 --> 00:00:05,699
Mel, it is your
bachelorette party.
3
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:08,132
I know. I just don't want to do
anything I'm going to regret.
4
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,865
Um... Will you settle for
nothing you'll remember?
5
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,233
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
6
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,641
Hold on, I'm coming.
7
00:00:18,666 --> 00:00:19,300
Hey! Hey!
8
00:00:19,301 --> 00:00:21,299
Hi, Mel. I just wanted
to drop this off.
9
00:00:21,300 --> 00:00:22,865
I can't stay.
My babysitter just flaked.
10
00:00:22,866 --> 00:00:26,099
No. No, no, no. You have to stay.
You're a bridesmaid.
11
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,165
Yeah! Sorry, no sitter.
12
00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:30,032
Lily. Lily, hey, what
are you doing tonight?
13
00:00:30,033 --> 00:00:31,732
Going out like
you ordered me to.
14
00:00:31,733 --> 00:00:34,699
Yeah, about that, um,
I need a little favor.
15
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,466
Faye needs a babysitter.
16
00:00:35,467 --> 00:00:37,000
So now you're
ordering me to stay?
17
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000
Please?
18
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,599
You ready, Lily?
19
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,532
Oh! I'm sorry.
20
00:00:42,533 --> 00:00:44,232
We didn't realize you had plans.
21
00:00:44,233 --> 00:00:46,865
It's not a date! We're
just going to a movie!
22
00:00:46,866 --> 00:00:48,532
I didn't say it was a date.
23
00:00:48,533 --> 00:00:49,266
Stop talking about it!
24
00:00:49,267 --> 00:00:53,232
We can't go to the movie.
My mom's making me babysit.
25
00:00:53,233 --> 00:00:54,499
Want some help?
26
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:55,933
No.
27
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:58,865
Are you coming?
28
00:00:58,866 --> 00:01:00,365
All right.
29
00:01:00,366 --> 00:01:01,200
Here. Thanks.
30
00:01:01,201 --> 00:01:05,232
So, where are Sean and
the boys tonight?
31
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:06,399
Not here. That's
all that matters.
32
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,832
I'm sure they're having fun
doing whatever they do.
33
00:01:08,833 --> 00:01:10,250
I... i... i can't keep running, dad!
34
00:01:10,251 --> 00:01:11,684
You've got to!
35
00:01:11,685 --> 00:01:13,351
Oh! Ow!
36
00:01:14,351 --> 00:01:16,084
I just got hit with a sno-cone!
37
00:01:16,085 --> 00:01:18,785
We're all gonna die!
38
00:01:19,118 --> 00:01:20,950
Stop throwing food at me!
39
00:01:20,951 --> 00:01:24,318
Captioning made possible by
carsey-Werner company, l.L.C.
40
00:01:36,418 --> 00:01:40,850
Come on in girls.
The water is alcohol.
41
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,650
I saw your x-rated cake
in the refrigerator.
42
00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:46,000
Shh! Don't tell Mel.
It is a surprise.
43
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,999
You know what else?
44
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:48,900
I got a stripper.
45
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,399
She so doesn't want a stripper.
This is going to be great!
46
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,933
I know.
47
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:54,466
I almost forgot
what this was like.
48
00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:58,932
You know, girls' night
and one naked man for hire.
49
00:01:58,933 --> 00:02:00,899
Hey, claud,
I'll explain everything.
50
00:02:00,900 --> 00:02:02,066
Just pretend I'm not here, ok?
51
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:05,732
But you are here.
Wh-where are the kids?
52
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:07,667
Don't worry. They're here, too.
53
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:11,599
Mom! Oh!
54
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,366
I thought I'd never
see your face again.
55
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:15,167
What?
56
00:02:15,167 --> 00:02:16,167
Ah, an overreaction.
57
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:18,199
Man, I thought I was gonna die.
58
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,299
Oh, hey, Sean, you're here.
59
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:21,499
Look, there's these guys
looking for you out front,
60
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,732
but I told them
you weren't here.
61
00:02:22,733 --> 00:02:24,000
Did they leave? No.
62
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
Oh, no! No! No!
63
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:25,733
Wait, what guys?
64
00:02:25,734 --> 00:02:29,632
No! Aah! Oh, this is not good.
65
00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:30,633
Sean, what is going on?
66
00:02:30,634 --> 00:02:35,400
Uh... I may have screwed
up just a little.
67
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,399
Did you do something
at the planetarium?
68
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,232
Uh... I didn't actually
make it to the planetarium.
69
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:44,532
You look up and you
see all these stars.
70
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:45,999
Can't you just do that outside?
71
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,299
Yeah, but this is inside
and it's during the day.
72
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,399
It's going to be fantastic.
73
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,199
Hey, hey, hey. Guess
who landed 4 tickets
74
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,933
to today's yankee
game? Front row.
75
00:02:52,934 --> 00:02:54,233
No, uh-uh-uh-uh. Let me see.
76
00:02:54,234 --> 00:02:56,899
Whoo! Forget the planetarium.
We're going to the Yankees.
77
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,499
All right! Merry Christmas.
78
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:03,099
But Jimmy hates baseball ever
since he saw field of dreams.
79
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,999
I hate baseball, dad. It
makes me think of ghosts.
80
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,699
Come on, Jimmy, we've been over this.
That wasn't the point of the movie.
81
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:09,667
It's not a horror movie.
82
00:03:09,668 --> 00:03:12,933
But there were ghosts!
Hundreds of them,
83
00:03:12,934 --> 00:03:14,599
coming out of the corn field.
84
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,566
I know, but they just
wanted to play catch.
85
00:03:16,567 --> 00:03:17,599
But they were dead!
86
00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,433
Yeah, but I think I may
have turned him around.
87
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:24,166
So, you're sure that babe Ruth
is not buried over there?
88
00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:28,034
Jimmy, it's a monument.
It's not a tombstone.
89
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,366
Well, how about these
front-row seats, huh?
90
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,134
Who's better than me, huh?
91
00:03:34,135 --> 00:03:36,866
Come on, we're in
the right-field bleachers.
92
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:37,966
Front row.
93
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:41,533
Look, from here, the batter looks
like a dwarf swinging a Turkey leg.
94
00:03:41,534 --> 00:03:42,367
Here you go, Jimmy.
95
00:03:42,368 --> 00:03:45,066
Hey, number 68, you suck!
96
00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:48,699
Dad? Are we allowed to
tell that man he sucks?
97
00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:52,000
Sure, that's what being
a fan is all about.
98
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,632
Hey! You suck!
99
00:03:54,633 --> 00:03:56,499
You suck! This is fun.
100
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,332
Hey, 75, you suck, too!
101
00:03:59,333 --> 00:04:01,766
This hot dog sucks!
102
00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:02,866
These seats suck!
103
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:03,966
That airplane sucks!
104
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:06,199
All right, all right, all right!
Come on, enough of the suck.
105
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,031
Come on, sit down.
106
00:04:07,032 --> 00:04:07,398
Whoo!
107
00:04:07,399 --> 00:04:08,931
I can't believe you
still bring that thing.
108
00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:10,331
You're never
going to catch a ball.
109
00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:10,865
It's possible.
110
00:04:10,866 --> 00:04:14,765
Yeah, right. Dude, your
record is like 0 for 100.
111
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:18,665
I got it!
112
00:04:19,165 --> 00:04:20,898
I got it!
113
00:04:21,365 --> 00:04:22,597
I got it!
114
00:04:22,598 --> 00:04:27,131
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No. Today is my lucky day.
115
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:29,497
I can feel it.
116
00:04:29,498 --> 00:04:31,265
Yankees!
117
00:04:35,698 --> 00:04:36,232
You suck!
118
00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:38,197
Ah, ah! Henry, not during
the anthem, please.
119
00:04:38,198 --> 00:04:38,998
Oh, say can...
120
00:04:38,999 --> 00:04:40,350
Sean, you being here
tonight, that sucks.
121
00:04:40,351 --> 00:04:43,350
Yeah, well, my night sucked, too.
Believe you me.
122
00:04:43,351 --> 00:04:46,051
Oh, no.
123
00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:50,550
A tadpole looks like a
fish, but it's not a fish.
124
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,050
Now, you might think it's a fish
because it doesn't have legs,
125
00:04:54,051 --> 00:04:56,883
but it will have legs, and
then you'll know it's a frog.
126
00:04:56,884 --> 00:04:58,452
In the meantime, you'll
just have to trust me.
127
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,066
This is a bachelorette party.
128
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:05,367
We are not talking
about tadpoles.
129
00:05:07,511 --> 00:05:10,210
Mom, this baby will not shut up!
130
00:05:10,211 --> 00:05:11,976
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Whose baby is that?
131
00:05:11,977 --> 00:05:13,676
Oh, good, you're home.
You take it.
132
00:05:13,677 --> 00:05:15,110
No. Your father
is on his way out.
133
00:05:15,111 --> 00:05:18,810
Mom, Brad and I really
need to calm our nerves
134
00:05:18,811 --> 00:05:21,011
at... at the movies.
135
00:05:22,811 --> 00:05:24,410
It's ok, baby. It's ok.
136
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:26,910
We're cool, Lily. We're cool.
137
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:27,677
Oh, great.
138
00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:31,110
Hey, Sean. That crowd outside
is looking really upset.
139
00:05:31,111 --> 00:05:32,810
You cool with me sleeping
here tonight or what?
140
00:05:32,811 --> 00:05:36,910
No, you cannot sleep here.
You can't stay here!
141
00:05:36,911 --> 00:05:38,064
I was asking Sean.
142
00:05:38,065 --> 00:05:39,731
Look, you promised me one night.
143
00:05:39,732 --> 00:05:41,199
I wanted one night.
I want my night!
144
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,332
But those people outside!
145
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:44,232
Who are those people?
Why are they there?
146
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:47,232
Uh... Well, ok, it's
the bottom of the ninth,
147
00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:52,100
and the yanks are up by a run,
and we're feeling pretty good.
148
00:05:55,233 --> 00:05:56,432
Yeah, come on, yanks!
149
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:59,099
One more out, Yankees!
One more out!
150
00:05:59,100 --> 00:06:00,699
All right. Let's get outta here.
151
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:03,099
What, are you crazy? Come on,
we're clinging to a one-run lead,
152
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,365
there's a man on second,
there's 2 outs,
153
00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:05,432
there's no way I'm leaving.
154
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:07,232
Come on. If we get a jump
on all the other cars,
155
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,865
I know a guy who'll pull
a chain down for us.
156
00:06:08,866 --> 00:06:10,313
Aah! No, no, no. I'm not leaving
the game early. No way!
157
00:06:10,314 --> 00:06:11,280
Yeah, me neither.
158
00:06:11,281 --> 00:06:13,147
That's my boy! Let's go!
159
00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:25,246
I got it! I got it! I got it!
160
00:06:25,247 --> 00:06:27,579
Oh, my god!
You finally caught one!
161
00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:28,214
Good for you.
162
00:06:28,215 --> 00:06:29,513
No, no, no, no. Not good for me.
163
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,000
The ball was still in play.
164
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,366
So?
165
00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:33,766
So if the right fielder
catches the ball,
166
00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:34,433
the yanks win the game,
167
00:06:34,434 --> 00:06:37,866
but since Sean finnerty
caught the ball, they lost.
168
00:06:37,867 --> 00:06:39,299
I... i got it! I got it!
169
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:42,066
Boo! Boo! Boo!
170
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:42,933
What?
171
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,066
Nice goin', idiot!
172
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:46,466
Why didn't you let him catch it?
173
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,732
I... ugh!
174
00:06:47,733 --> 00:06:48,433
I didn't...
175
00:06:48,434 --> 00:06:50,699
I didn't mean to, right, Eddie?
176
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,632
Why are you talkin' to me, man?
177
00:06:52,633 --> 00:06:53,866
I don't... I don't know you,
178
00:06:53,867 --> 00:06:56,600
and my name's Maurice.
179
00:06:59,311 --> 00:07:00,944
I'm sorry!
180
00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:03,812
Finnerty!
181
00:07:03,813 --> 00:07:06,945
Come out! You can't
stay in there forever!
182
00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:09,445
Boy, they really
want to hurt you.
183
00:07:09,446 --> 00:07:12,745
And I'd really
rather not let them.
184
00:07:12,746 --> 00:07:14,879
Mom, is there any milk?
185
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,879
Wait, what are you eating?
186
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,879
It's the cake in there.
187
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,246
The one shaped
like a lighthouse.
188
00:07:21,255 --> 00:07:23,821
That cake was for
the bachelorette party.
189
00:07:23,822 --> 00:07:26,554
How much of the...
Lighthouse did you eat?
190
00:07:26,555 --> 00:07:31,754
Ugh. No man likes to see
that happen to a lighthouse.
191
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,054
Ok, you know what?
192
00:07:33,055 --> 00:07:34,000
You two upstairs now.
193
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,765
What? Why are we being punished?
194
00:07:35,766 --> 00:07:36,339
You're not being punished.
195
00:07:36,340 --> 00:07:37,606
Go, and then tomorrow,
196
00:07:37,607 --> 00:07:38,872
you can do something really bad
197
00:07:38,873 --> 00:07:40,272
and you get away with it.
198
00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:40,807
Ok.
199
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:43,339
I'm gonna play with matches.
200
00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,272
Ok, not that.
201
00:07:45,273 --> 00:07:47,506
Mom, faye's kid really stinks.
202
00:07:47,507 --> 00:07:49,172
She probably needs
her diaper changed.
203
00:07:49,173 --> 00:07:51,572
Well, yeah, that's
what I'm thinkin'.
204
00:07:51,573 --> 00:07:53,106
Change her diaper.
205
00:07:53,107 --> 00:07:55,839
How about I dump some
potpourri down there?
206
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,672
Change it.
207
00:07:57,673 --> 00:07:59,306
Baby.
208
00:07:59,307 --> 00:08:02,039
I keep telling Jimmy and Henry
209
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:06,973
to leave their stupid
stuffed animals out of here.
210
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:09,299
Can you believe my mom,
211
00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:13,599
making us stay up here in my
bedroom pretty much alone?
212
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,265
I don't know. It's not so bad.
213
00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:18,000
I'm not saying it's bad.
214
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,366
I mean, I-I'm cool with it...
215
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,466
If you are.
216
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:26,234
Yeah, I'm totally cool with it.
217
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:32,733
Baby.
218
00:08:32,734 --> 00:08:35,333
You didn't like those carrots?
219
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:37,766
Come out and face the music!
220
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:38,567
What is going on?
221
00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:40,333
There's, like,
15 guys out there now.
222
00:08:40,334 --> 00:08:42,333
They're putting beer cans
all over my car.
223
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:43,866
Oh, good. If they're
drinkin' beer,
224
00:08:43,867 --> 00:08:45,099
that means they're
gonna have to leave
225
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,599
to go use the bathroom.
226
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:49,433
No. Apparently not.
227
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:55,866
What do you want?!
228
00:08:55,867 --> 00:08:58,533
It's your father!
229
00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:02,922
Quite a crowd out there, seany.
230
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:03,656
Well, uh, what, uh...
231
00:09:03,657 --> 00:09:06,888
So what happened today in the game?
The Yankees win?
232
00:09:06,889 --> 00:09:07,856
You didn't see it?
233
00:09:07,857 --> 00:09:10,155
Of course I saw it.
234
00:09:10,156 --> 00:09:12,922
I'll see it every time
I close my eyes.
235
00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:15,255
Yeah, all right. Great play.
236
00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,299
Yeah, all right. All right.
237
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,467
One more out.
238
00:09:17,467 --> 00:09:18,333
Those are my Yankees.
239
00:09:18,334 --> 00:09:19,766
Swung on and hit deep
to right field.
240
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,199
It's way back there.
241
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,199
It's not. He'll get it,
he'll get it.
242
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,799
O'Neill is at the fence
and... Oh, my!
243
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,466
It looks like a fan
took it away from him!
244
00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:27,100
Can you believe that?
245
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,232
And the umpire is
ruling it a home run.
246
00:09:28,233 --> 00:09:29,732
The Red Sox have taken the lead.
247
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:30,167
No, no!
248
00:09:30,168 --> 00:09:32,766
Some idiot grabbed it.
That idiot grabbed it.
249
00:09:32,767 --> 00:09:36,967
Hey, finnerty. That idiot
looks like your son.
250
00:09:37,867 --> 00:09:40,866
What? No. No, it doesn't.
251
00:09:40,867 --> 00:09:43,032
Yeah, he looks like your son.
252
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,799
No, nothin' like him.
253
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,632
I'm sorry!
254
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:48,966
I'm pretty sure that's your son.
255
00:09:48,967 --> 00:09:51,533
I have no son.
256
00:09:51,504 --> 00:09:54,203
And I wanted you to have
my stool at the alpine
257
00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:55,370
after I passed,
258
00:09:55,371 --> 00:09:59,004
but you shot that dream to hell.
259
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:02,356
Claudia? Mm-hmm?
260
00:10:02,357 --> 00:10:04,389
Um, I don't want to be a jerk,
261
00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:05,456
but are these guys staying?
262
00:10:05,457 --> 00:10:06,923
Because they're kind
of killing the mood.
263
00:10:06,924 --> 00:10:08,289
No, they're leaving. Right now.
264
00:10:08,290 --> 00:10:10,656
I... hey, that mob
is trying to kill me!
265
00:10:10,657 --> 00:10:13,056
Can't you just sneak
over the back fence
266
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:14,223
and avoid the mob?
267
00:10:14,224 --> 00:10:16,489
There are other mobs.
268
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,656
Why are we walking so fast?
269
00:10:18,657 --> 00:10:20,153
I want some peanuts
and cracker Jacks.
270
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,199
Don't be such a clich?, Henry.
271
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,133
That annoys me.
272
00:10:22,134 --> 00:10:23,566
Nice going, jackass.
273
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,266
Dad, why don't you just
throw that ball away?
274
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:27,232
Are you kidding? It's
a genuine yankee baseball.
275
00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,032
Hey, dumb ass,
are you from Boston,
276
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:29,800
or are you just a dumb ass?
277
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:32,266
Hey, I just wanted to catch
a ball for my little boy.
278
00:10:32,267 --> 00:10:33,000
Is that such a crime?
279
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,766
What? I didn't want a ball.
280
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:36,139
Yes, you did, Jimmy.
281
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,540
Let's just get to the car.
282
00:10:38,940 --> 00:10:43,340
Dad, those guys look like
they're really mad at us.
283
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:46,706
They're going to kill us.
No question about it.
284
00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:48,106
All right,
what's the move, cappy?
285
00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:49,806
Ok, guys, on 3 we bolt.
286
00:10:49,807 --> 00:10:50,640
Got it. Ready?
287
00:10:50,641 --> 00:10:54,000
One... Oh, thanks, Eddie!
288
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,999
You left our car
at yankee stadium?
289
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,332
I-it should be safe.
290
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:58,665
Overnight? In the Bronx?
291
00:10:58,666 --> 00:11:02,133
Look, it was a car
or us. I chose us.
292
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,700
Dad... People are looking at us.
293
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,999
Uh, we're handsome guys, Henry,
294
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,466
and that's what happens, so...
295
00:11:14,467 --> 00:11:15,034
Get used to it.
296
00:11:15,035 --> 00:11:19,667
I never realized how
handsome I was.
297
00:11:22,334 --> 00:11:24,499
Those guys definitely
recognize me.
298
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,599
Give them the crazy look, then.
299
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,400
Like what?
300
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,200
Oh... Ok.
301
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,032
I'm sorry.
302
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:44,166
Don't you smile
at me, you bastard.
303
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:47,499
You're the one who cost the
Yankees the game today.
304
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,300
You jerk!
305
00:11:48,301 --> 00:11:51,366
Hey, hey, hey! No, I, um...
306
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:53,063
I just wanted to catch a ball
307
00:11:53,064 --> 00:11:55,063
and give it to my little boy.
308
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:58,864
Dad, again,
I didn't want a ball.
309
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:01,597
Uh... Um...
310
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:02,330
Hey, look, guys. Come on,
311
00:12:02,331 --> 00:12:04,396
there's some empty seats on the other car.
Let's go. Let's go.
312
00:12:04,397 --> 00:12:06,229
But we have seats in this car.
313
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:07,897
No, we don't.
314
00:12:13,064 --> 00:12:16,363
Ahh. Oh, this is so much better.
315
00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:18,863
This train will
make express stops only
316
00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:22,529
between 125th and 42nd
streets. Express stops only.
317
00:12:22,530 --> 00:12:23,929
Ah, beautiful.
318
00:12:23,930 --> 00:12:25,463
Also in the number 3 car,
319
00:12:25,464 --> 00:12:28,796
it's that moron who made
the Yankees lose today.
320
00:12:28,797 --> 00:12:30,964
Dad... Uh...
321
00:12:31,164 --> 00:12:35,630
D-don't worry, son.
Just sit back and watch.
322
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:40,854
Hyaaaaah!
323
00:12:40,855 --> 00:12:42,354
You want the butterfly?
324
00:12:42,355 --> 00:12:43,687
You want the butterfly, huh?
325
00:12:43,688 --> 00:12:44,887
Huh? Who wants some action?
326
00:12:44,888 --> 00:12:48,855
'Cause I'm ready
to kick some butt!
327
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:52,822
Uh...
328
00:12:53,288 --> 00:12:54,299
My beef's with the lady.
329
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,366
You walked our kids
along the third rail?
330
00:12:56,367 --> 00:12:58,699
No, we were nowhere
near the third rail.
331
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:00,799
We were on the ledge,
332
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,633
the safety ledge.
333
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:05,933
Who is it?!
334
00:13:05,934 --> 00:13:07,666
It's the police! Open up!
335
00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:08,966
Oh, thank god!
336
00:13:08,967 --> 00:13:09,867
Hi, officer.
Thank god you're here.
337
00:13:09,868 --> 00:13:13,999
That mob outside, there was 8. Now
there's 20. They're going cr...
338
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:14,767
Shh.
339
00:13:14,768 --> 00:13:17,599
There's been a complaint
about someone in this house.
340
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,234
Excuse me?
341
00:13:19,734 --> 00:13:22,666
I'm afraid I may
have to use these.
342
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,034
Why?
343
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,800
I'd get this guy's badge number.
344
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:01,867
Baby.
345
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,265
Hmm.
346
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:12,233
What?
347
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:14,066
Nothing.
348
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:26,233
Oh, did they wake
you up, little lady?
349
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,266
What is all the whooing?
350
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:34,299
We have a baby upstairs
and we... oh!
351
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,066
Lily. What?
352
00:14:36,067 --> 00:14:36,567
Upstairs.
353
00:14:36,568 --> 00:14:38,999
Oh, there is nothing
for me upstairs.
354
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,233
Go on! Young lady, come on.
355
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:41,366
I love you! Go!
356
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,467
Go!
357
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,032
Were you at
the yankee game today?
358
00:14:49,033 --> 00:14:50,033
Oh, god. Oh, hey, man,
359
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:52,032
it was like... it was one
of those things where...
360
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:54,499
Please keep dancing, please...
361
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,132
The Yankees
had the game, you jerk!
362
00:14:56,133 --> 00:14:57,103
Get out of my house, right now!
363
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,104
No! Get out, out!
364
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,403
We want him to stay!
We want you!
365
00:14:59,404 --> 00:15:00,969
Gladly. We want you to go.
No, you go!
366
00:15:00,970 --> 00:15:02,636
Out! Go! You go! You stay!
367
00:15:02,637 --> 00:15:05,904
I'll dance, I'll dance. Come on.
368
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,299
Stop dancing. What?
369
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:10,466
I don't know where I'm going.
370
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,499
Claud, listen, all right?
371
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:15,233
W-w-we we're kicked out
of 5 cabs and 2 restaurants.
372
00:15:15,234 --> 00:15:16,167
They wouldn't even
let us on the bus.
373
00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:17,999
We walked all the way across
the verrazano narrows bridge!
374
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,866
That's the sixth longest
suspension bridge in the world!
375
00:15:20,867 --> 00:15:23,467
We just wanted to get home.
376
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,900
Just one more block, Henry.
377
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,265
Can't you smell the dump?
378
00:15:28,266 --> 00:15:31,466
It never smelled so sweet.
379
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,133
Hey, George!
380
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,132
It's finnerty! Hey!
381
00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:56,465
Get over here, buddy!
We're waiting for you!
382
00:15:56,466 --> 00:16:00,000
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Loser!
383
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,667
What now, dad?
384
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:07,767
Something a man has to do
when he can't run no more.
385
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,134
Sneak around back!
386
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,666
So, you see, Claudia,
387
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,733
this is the only place
in New York City
388
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:15,299
where nobody wants to kill me.
389
00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:17,267
Oh, yeah? Guess again.
390
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,766
Oh, wow! Ha ha ha!
391
00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:23,033
That is going
to drive Jerry wild.
392
00:16:23,034 --> 00:16:24,189
I can't wear this.
393
00:16:24,190 --> 00:16:25,723
Try it on.
394
00:16:27,423 --> 00:16:29,390
No, just to see if it fits.
395
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:31,156
I-it's crotchless.
396
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:37,755
Yeah. You know, just to see if it's
not too big around the shoulders.
397
00:16:37,756 --> 00:16:38,955
Walt, what are you eating?
398
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:41,289
Fruit roll-up. They're not bad.
399
00:16:41,290 --> 00:16:43,855
Those are edible panties.
400
00:16:43,856 --> 00:16:45,155
What?
401
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:48,622
Oh, dear god. I've
got to go to church.
402
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:49,190
Ok, that'll do it.
403
00:16:49,191 --> 00:16:50,422
Yeah, you know, let's
just go to bennigans.
404
00:16:50,423 --> 00:16:53,522
Come on, guys. I'll put
them in the backyard.
405
00:16:53,523 --> 00:16:55,355
Look, Claudia,
it's just not happening.
406
00:16:55,356 --> 00:16:56,199
No, come on. This is our party.
407
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:56,733
It's girl night.
408
00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:59,166
We still have to make a wedding
dress out of toilet paper.
409
00:16:59,167 --> 00:17:01,533
That's fun, right? Come on.
410
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:03,967
I'm into that.
411
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:05,766
I gotta go out there.
412
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:06,367
What?
413
00:17:06,368 --> 00:17:08,699
We can't go out until
I face them, so I gotta go.
414
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,132
They want to kick your ass.
415
00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:13,432
You got my back?
416
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,133
No.
417
00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:23,132
Ok, ok. Please, just hear me out.
Please. Please!
418
00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:24,867
Please, just, please!
419
00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:27,407
You people want to tear me apart.
I don't blame you.
420
00:17:27,408 --> 00:17:28,674
Yeah, yeah, you got that!
421
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:30,040
Whoa, whoa, wait one second.
422
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:31,940
All right, j-just hear me out.
423
00:17:31,941 --> 00:17:34,974
All right, today had the
makings of a beautiful day.
424
00:17:34,975 --> 00:17:37,940
Right? I took my sons
to their first yankee game.
425
00:17:37,941 --> 00:17:40,607
And my wife's
throwing a great party.
426
00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:42,440
And after all these years
at yankee stadium,
427
00:17:42,441 --> 00:17:43,540
I finally caught a ball.
428
00:17:43,541 --> 00:17:45,474
We know! I saw it!
429
00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:47,474
I know, b-but I ended up...
430
00:17:47,475 --> 00:17:51,874
Betraying all the things
that I hold dear.
431
00:17:51,875 --> 00:17:55,307
M-my team loses.
My sons hate baseball.
432
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:58,307
My wife hates me, so go ahead.
433
00:17:58,308 --> 00:18:00,107
Do your best.
Take your best shot.
434
00:18:00,108 --> 00:18:05,308
Because you people can't hurt me
any more than I've hurt myself.
435
00:18:08,641 --> 00:18:09,774
Dan...
436
00:18:09,775 --> 00:18:11,507
God!
437
00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,275
Nice catch, moron!
438
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,356
Hey, where are they going?
439
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,324
I was like 2 seconds away
440
00:18:18,325 --> 00:18:21,923
from going old testament
on their asses.
441
00:18:21,924 --> 00:18:23,024
You all right?
442
00:18:31,157 --> 00:18:32,723
What did you do?
443
00:18:32,724 --> 00:18:35,889
I just got my butt kicked.
444
00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:36,590
Sean.
445
00:18:36,590 --> 00:18:37,424
There was so many of them.
446
00:18:37,425 --> 00:18:40,156
I took out 3 or 4, but this one
guy got me from behind and...
447
00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:42,189
The point is, baby,
I did it for you.
448
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:45,523
Now I'm gonna grab the little
guys, and we're gonna head out.
449
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:46,000
I'll go get 'em, man.
450
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,767
Hey! Jimmy, Henry!
451
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,499
Oh, that was kind of brave.
Ow...
452
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,066
Of course, you could have
done that a half hour ago.
453
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,199
I don't think we can still
salvage this thing.
454
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,732
I, um, forgot my handcuffs.
455
00:18:58,733 --> 00:19:02,266
Oh, yes, you're not
going anywhere, officer.
456
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:03,532
Uh, yeah, we paid a deposit.
457
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:05,605
Get over there and
take off your pants.
458
00:19:05,606 --> 00:19:07,372
Is he leaving?
459
00:19:07,373 --> 00:19:08,672
Yes, yes, he is.
460
00:19:08,673 --> 00:19:09,239
I'm leaving.
461
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,506
Come on, guys!
462
00:19:14,873 --> 00:19:17,838
Mom, what's
that policeman doing?
463
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:19,973
Bye-bye!
464
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:26,666
Oh, hey, Jimmy, just a sec.
465
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:31,032
Look, I know I got this
thing in a screwed-up way,
466
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:33,999
but it is a genuine
yankee baseball.
467
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,266
And the one that
cost them the game.
468
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,099
Yeah, but it was
an unbelievable catch.
469
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,433
Yeah.
470
00:19:41,967 --> 00:19:43,666
Well, the point is, uh...
471
00:19:43,667 --> 00:19:47,267
My whole life
I wanted one of these.
472
00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:51,300
But now I want
to give it to you.
473
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,267
I guess it's kind of cool.
474
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,567
Thanks, dad.
475
00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:05,400
Hey, Henry, catch!
476
00:20:05,401 --> 00:20:07,832
Oh, no, Jimmy! It's not a toy.
Don't play catch with it.
477
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,299
It belongs on the mantel!
478
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:11,766
Uh, Henry! No, put it down!
479
00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:13,833
Oh, no, it's going
in the storm drain!
480
00:20:14,867 --> 00:20:15,932
I went all the way
to the erotic bakery
481
00:20:15,933 --> 00:20:19,032
and spent a fortune on this cake,
and they barely touched it.
482
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,466
Well, most of your friends
are married now,
483
00:20:21,467 --> 00:20:24,966
and they're not as excited
about cake as they used to be.
484
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,999
Well, I enjoy a good cake.
485
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,500
Are you hungry now?
486
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,733
Well, I'm off to the alpine
487
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:33,633
to see if I still
have any friends.
488
00:20:33,634 --> 00:20:37,466
Hey, um, why don't you
take this cake over there?
489
00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:38,400
It's delicious.
490
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,400
Really? That's nice.
491
00:20:39,401 --> 00:20:42,399
This'll really get me
in good with the fellas.
492
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,999
Yeah, the guys'll love it.
493
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,700
Yeah. Thanks.
494
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:50,300
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