Original subtitles

[Humming “My Bonnie“ ]

[Stops Humming]

Is this the, uh, animal?

Yes, sir, this is Francis. Wake up, fella.

I've brought our bank president, Mr. Munroe, out to meet you.

He's heard stories, thought I might be crazy.

Put his mxhd at rest . It's your mind that needs rest; not mine, young man.

If that stupid-looking thing has a thought in its head-

let alone talks- then I'm a jackass too!

Here we go again.

I still don't see why Mr. Munroe had to fire me.

Well, what do ya expect, a medal? I'm sure in a mess this time.

If there was a mess anywhere, you'd be in it.

I've told you a million times,

the minute you open your mouth about me you put your foot in it.

You think you had nothing to do with it. Well, that's what I say--

as long as I'm around you're gonna keep gettin' yourself into more trouble.

Pete? What do ya say let's split up, huh? What? Oh, no.

If we get separated again, we might never find each other. Heh-heh. That's bad?

[Chuckling]

Francs What is it now, hmm? Oh.

Can't we rest a while? I'm getting tired. Every clay the same thing.

When you were a second looey, you could hike 4O miles.

But now 11 measly miles, look at ya. Uh-huh.

Oh, now, Francis, you shouldn't do that. That's private property.

Ohh... let 'em sue me.

Yeah.

Get in there.

[ Car Approaches]

Want a ride? Yeah!

Hop in. Thanks.

Uh, I have a friend with me. Well, he can ride in back.

Uh, well, he's not exactly a friend.

I mean, he's a friend, but he's not exactly. That's him over there.

Haw-hee.

Uh, uh-

You'll never learn. [Horse Wh/nnies ]

Mmm-mmm.

Hi!

- Hey come here, fella. - [Whinnies]

Well, I'll be doggoned.

[ Whinnying] Y-You don'! say?

Hey! Hey, Pete, come here!

This is great news! What is it, Francis?

Remember me telling you about my Great Aunt Regret who won the Derby?

Yes. Well, this is Sir Gallant.

His great aunt and my great aunt were sisters!

Oh!

Uh, how do you do? I'm glad to know you.

- [Whinnies] - Um...

does he talk? Whoever heard of a talking horse?

Well, I mean,you talk- Well?

I don't happen to be a horse.

Be that as it may, Pete, Sir Gallant has invited me to be his houseguest,

so I'll be seein' ya Francis, you're not leaving me!

That sums it up. Come on, cuz.

But where will I go? What'll I do?

For the love of Burma mud! I nursed you through the war.

How long do you expect me to keep it up?

I wouldn't be in this trouble if you didn't know how to talk!

Well, that's just what I been sayin'.

Ohh,well... meet me here in the morning.

B-But, Francis-

[Snorting] Huh? Oh,yeah.

He says there's a motel about a mile down the road.

- N-Now, Francis- - Adios, Pete!

Yahoo! [Whinnies]

[Horse Whinnies]

[ Rooster Crowing]

Francis?

Francis?

Francis!

Francis! [ Woman ] Hello!

Hello there.

W-Were you calling me? Were you calling me?

Oh, no. I was calling Francis. Well, I'm Frances.

Frances Travers. Oh, you're Frances with an

I was calling Francis with an

Oh, well, I know every stable boy in the place, and we don't have any Francis.

Oh, well, he's not a boy. I mean... he is a boy, but he isn't.

He's a mule. Yes. A mule?

Is he the one with the striped brow band? That's right.

Well, he was here. One of our thoroughbreds took a liking to him,

and he wouldn't do a thing unless the mule was with him. Where are they?

Well, they were shipped out. But I had an appointment with him.

An appointment? With a mule?

L-I mean, I figured he'd be here.

Oh, I'm sorry. We thought he was one of our mules.

We sent him along with Sir Gallant to the track. The track?

Why, yes, the racetrack. We've moved most of our stable there.

I'm on my way there now. I'd be glad to drive you

. You would?

And you can keep your appointment

Thank you.

Mr. Stirling, I was thinking.

Since Sir Gallant has become so attached to your mule,

and we do want to keep our racehorses happy, would you consider selling?

Sell Francis? Oh, I couldn't.

Well, I'm sure my grandfather would pay you a generous price.

I couldn't sell him. He doesn't belong to me. Well, whose mule is he?

He isn't anyon's. We're just friends.

Friends?

You and a mule? Well, we met in Burma in the army,

and we've been together ever since.

Um, you don't think it's peculiar--

my being so fond of a mule, doyou? Of course not.

We feel the same way about Sir Gallant. He's like one of the family.

We bred him, and we raised him,

and now we have him entered into the $100,000 handicap.

That's nice. I hope he wins. It's terribly important to us.

Do you like horses, Mr. Stirling?

Oh, yes. I never miss a Western movie.

You'd love Sir Gallant. And you'd be crazy about Francis.

He's so intelligent. Who, Francis?

Why, no, Sir Gallant. He does everything but talk.

Francis does everything.

You mean, everything but talk.

No. Uh, yes. Of course.

Those are our stalls over there.

Your mule should be somewhere around here.

[Horse Whinnies]

That's Butcherman. He's by Great Chief out of Little Runaway.

By Great Chief out of Little Runaway?

And here's Dairy Queen.

She's a half-sister of Hamneggs

Is that so?

Good morning, Miss Travers!

Good morning, Sam. Good morning.

That's Oakwood Gal. She's nominated for the big handicap,

but I think Grandpa's going to scratch her. Scratch her?

Well, she ought to enjoy that. Enjoy it?

Yeah, I had a puppy once that just loved to be- You don't understand.

We're taking her out of the big race.

She turned out to be a great disappointment. Oh, I'm sorry.

Lots of early speed, but shejust couldn't last the distance.

But Sir Gallant's just the opposite. He's a great stretch runner.

Stretch runner? Oh, you know, he starts slowly but he finishes fast.

It's funny, because they're full brother and sister. Oh.

Oh, then she must be related to Francis too!

Oakwood Gal, a thoroughbred horse, related to a mule?

Oh, yeah. Her great aunt and Francis' great aunt, they-

Really, Mr. Stirling. Oh, uh-

Uh... really, if you'd- [Horse Whinnies ]

Grandpa? What's wrong?

I'm afraid Betsey Sue isn't going to run tomorrow.

Oh, no! Is it serious? We don't know. We can't figure it out.

In my opinion, it's sidebone.

There's an ossification of the side gristle of the coffin bone.

I don't agree. I think it's definitely a navicular disease.

Oh, that's impossible, Dr. Marberry.

There seems to be an inflammation of the shuttlebone...

with involvement of the flexor tendon and bursae. Oh, Sam.

Where would I find Sir Gallant?

Where would you find the favorite but in the best stall at the track?

The first one, down there.

Thank you. Yeah.

- Francis! - Oh, no.

Francis, am I glad to see you!

For the love of mud. I thought I lost you.

Well, I was worried about you. Are you all right? Am I all right?

H ey, h ey. What are you doing in Sir Gallanfs stall?

Any idea where I could shack up fancier?

Well, what about Sir Gallant? What about me?

I provide him with a certain rather obvious type of companionship;

he provides me with facilities to live in the style I enjoy.

As the old saying goes, Petey-boy, I'm eatin' high on that hog.

But where is Sir Gallant? Next door.

I told him, bein' the guest, I'm entitled to the best room.

- I don't think you should impose upon your relatives. - Impose? Huh?

The trouble with Sir Gallant is he's too polite.

That's one habit I'll have to break him of,

but not until I'm ready to leave,

which is a good idea for you. What's a good idea?

Foryou to hightail it home and try and get your job back at the bank.

Well, they're not gonna let you stay here forever.

Why not? People around here are even dumber than Sir Gallant.

Look at all that fuss about Betsey Sue. Ain't nothin' wrong with her.

Betsey Sue happens to be sick. Sick, heh. She's got a little splinter in her neck.

But will they take it out? Nah.

They'll stick needles in her and fill her so full of pills,

she'll really be sick.

Well,been a nice visit, Pete. Drop me a line sometime.

Well, if that's the way you want it.

Good-bye.

Oh, come back here.

You can't get a bus home till tomorrow.

Where you gonna spend the night? Well, I, uh-

You better check into the Briar Motel.

Strictly a fleabag, but it beats that haystack.

[Yawns] Ah, Pete, I think I'll be takin' my siesta.

[Yawning]

♪ La cucaracha La cucaracha ♪

g Ya no puede caminar,"

,* Porque n0 t/eneg,' [ Yawns ]

This should relieve the pain.

Um, excuse me. Oh, Mr. Stirling, I'd forgotten about you.

I wanted to thank you for driving me down here.

I'm afraid I've been rather rude,

but we've all been so worried about Betsey Sue's condition.

- Oh, you shouldn't worry. There's nothing wrong with her. - What's that, young man?

Oh, she has just a tiny splinter in her neck.

Just a tiny splinter in her neck. Indeed.

Young man, are you a vet? Yes, sir. Eighteen months in Burma.

No, no. I mean, are you a veterinarian?

Oh, no, sir. I'm sorry. We're busy.

Just a minute. Dr. Marberry, do you have a pair of tweezers?

Thank you.

[Snorts]

Look.

[Whinnies]

Well, I'll be- Incredible.

Mr. Stirling, you're wonderful.

I've lived among horses all my life. I've never seen anything like that before.

How could you possibly know? Well, I- It's, uh-

Please, don't ask me. Don't ask you?

Yeah, well, l-l'd rather not say, sir.

L, er, um-

“Mr. Stirling, you're wonderful.“

“Mr. Stirling, you're wonderful.“

“Mr. Stirling-“ You're nuts.

Francis!

Oh.

What a dump!

What are you doing here, Francis?

Must be the mother instinct in me.

How much money you got? More than $20.

How much more? How much? A little more.

- $20.04. - Well, that ain't gonna last you long.

Do you know how to put a bet on a horse?

Why? 'Cause you need some dough, and I'm gonna get you some.

In the fourth race tomorrow, Betsey Sue is the favorite.

Y-You want me to bet on her? No.

She ain't gonna win. How do you know?

- She's emotionally frustrated. - Oh. She's what?

Literally translated, Betsey Sue is carrying a torch.

What are you talking about?

She went and fell in love with a plug named Shelby,

and last week they shipped him to Bay Meadows.

Betsey Sue hasn't got any more interest in running than you have.

- How do you know all this? - By the tail of my Great Aunt Regret,

who won the Derby, don't you think I know my way around?

Francis. Huh?

Do you mean to say that the horses talk over the races?

Uh-huh. It's Sudden Storm by six lengths.

G," [ Bugle Plays Call To The Post]

Yeah? Uh, five tickets on Sudden Storm, please.

What's the number? just Sudden Storm. I don't know.

Number 11 . And that's the way she'll finish.

Five tickets on 11. Ten dollars. Here.

Why, Mr. Stirling.

Oh, Miss Travers!

You ran ofiyes terday without gfving us a chance to thank you.

This is my grandfather Colonel Travers. How do you do?

That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life, Mr. Stirling.

How is Betsey Sue feeling? Fit as a fiddle.

I hope you're going to have a bet on her. Well, no, sir.

Why not? She's a full second faster than anything in the race.

In her last four she carried six more, won three and placed once.

My goodness. We'd better get our bets down before we're shut out.

Yeah. How much should it be? Two hundred to win? Only 200?

All right, we'll make it four. B-But, sir, I'm afraid you'll be sorry.

Sorry? Yes, Betsey Sue isn't going to win this race.

That's a matter of opinion,young man.

That's what makes horse racing. It's not an opinion.

Sudden Storm is gonna win by six lengths. Well, how do you know?

Well, Betsey Sue won't even try. Won't try?

Why not? Well, she's- She's emotionally frustrated.

Emotionally frustrated? A horse?

Come, my dear.

[ Track Announcer] Startxng for home, it 's Betsy Sue by a nose.

In the stretch, it's Betsey Sue and Sudden Storm.

Now ifs Sudden Storm taking the lead!

!t's Sudden Storm by two, by three, by four lengths, Galloping jim and Betsey Sue.

And down to the finish line, it's Sudden Storm the winner by six lengths!

Galloping jim is second, Lanky Lad is third, and Betsey Sue is fourth.

Some race, huh? Yeah, some race.

Mind you, Damer, there may not be anything to it,

but it was more than strange the way he called that race.

Now, Grandpa, I think it's just a coincidence.

I don't know, Miss Travers, but we'll soon find out.

Hey, uh, pretty big haul you made there, eh, fella?

Oh, yes, sir.

I think you ought to come along and have a little talk with the chief.

The chief? Chief who? Who are you?

Wh-What does he want with me? I-l haven't done anything!

Oh.

Who, me? You.

Er, er, b-but- Y-you-

So you knew Betsey Sue wasn't going to win. Yes, sir.

And you knew Sudden Storm was going to win...

by exactly six lengths? Yes, sir.

He cashed five tickets on Sudden Storm, Chief. $100 tickets?

No, two. Two dollars?

Yeah. What's your name?

Peter Stirling. Been at the track long?

-just since yesterday. - Ever seen him before?

Not me, Chief. You a professional tout?

A what, Chief- Er, sir?

A tout. Tipster. Where'd you get your information?

What information? Why were you so certain Betsey Sue wouldn't win?

Well, uh- Well, she's emotionally frustrated.

She's what? Well, she's carrying a torch.

A torch?

Young man, you are talking about a horse? Oh, yes, sir.

All right, wise guy, what are you trying to pull? Steady, Damer.

It's all on account of Shelby. Who?

Betsey Sue fell in love with Shelby. Now he's gone, and she's emotionally frustrated.

This guy is nuts.

Young man, 10 years with the FBI, six years at this track,

and that's the most ridiculous statement I ever heard.

Give me five minutes with this guy-- just a moment, gentlemen.

There was a horse named Shelby around the track.

You remember- that big bay stallion with the Peppertree Stables.

Yes. He was shipped north about a week ago.

Right after he left, Betsey Sue went off her feed. And that's true too.

You don't for a moment believe-- I don't know what to believe.

All I know is the filly wasn't trying.

Young man, did you ever work for the Peppertree Stables?

The who, sir? He couldn't have, Chief. I've never seen him before.

Then how did you know about Betsey Sue and Shelby?

And who told you Sudden Storm was going to win?

And who told you she would win by six lengths? Yeah!

Well, w-

I can't tell ya. I promised.

- Tell us whom you promised. - Well, I can't.

Why not? I-l promised, and I just can't tell ya.

All right, young man. That'll be all.

You mean I can go? Hmm.

I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble.

You're not just gonna let him walk out, are ya, Chief?

Either that kid's a complete nincom poop or a great actor.

It's your job to find out which. All right.

But if you ask me, I think the Kid's got rocks in his head.

Uh, Mr. Harrington.

If that boys working with a gambling ring-- well, that's your department.

But if he's on the level, I desperately need a man...

who understands horses the way he seems to.

So if you don't mind, I'll keep an eye on him myself.

Come, my dear.

You really know horses, don't you? Oh, I've met a few.

I bet you have. You know their moods, their whims.

I suppose that's why you knew that Sudden Storm was going to win.

[ Laughing] When a man understands horses,

inside he senses those things, doesn't he, my boy?

Oh, I... I suppose so.

Stirling, I'm going to put my cards on the table.

For years I've been trying to win the big $100,000 handicap.

So far, I haven't even been in the money. This year I've got the favorite.

I know. Sir Gallant. Yes, only this time it isn't just a matter of prestige.

I've made some very bad business investments and lost a lot of money.

I need the winner's share of the purse.

I'd like to help you, sir, but- You can help.

If anything was to go wrong with Sir Gallant,

I'd need someone around who understands what goes on inside horses:

what bothers them mentally, what makes them tick.

W-wel I, er- 0/1, please, Mr'. SzUV/ing.

It would mean so much to us.

Well, I'm sorry, Miss Travers, but I--

It would?

Uh, well, I, uh-

Would it?

Francis. Fran- Huh?

Oh, no. This must be an optical illusion.

Shh. Shh, my foot.

I thought you were on your way home.

Didn't you bet on Sudden Storm? Yeah, I did.

Then what are you doin' here?

Well, I'm gonna work here. Says which?

I said I am going to work here.

I told Miss Travers what was wrong with Betsey Sue, and now they think I'm a horse expert.

- You're an expert, all right. - I couldn't tell 'em the truth, could I?

I promised you I wouldn't. Couldn't you turn the job down...

without any explanation?

Well, I started to, but- Did you ever look into her eyes?

Into whose eyes? Not that Travers dame.

Ah, she's beautiful. Aw, she ain't my type.

What am I gonna do, Francis?

I don't know one end of a horse from another.

Well, I do, and I can tell the difference from where I'm standing.

Then you're not gonna help me?

Nah. That skirt got you into this. Let her get you out.

- [Footsteps] - [ Francis] Shh.

Oh, Mr. Stirling.

I heard voices and figured I better investigate.

Who was you talkin' to? Hmm? Well, nobody.

L-I was just singing. ;La la la la la;

;Good night, ladies Good night, Francis ♪

;Good night, Francis I'll see you in my dreams ♪♪

That's the “talkin'est“ singin' I ever heard.

[Glass Clinks]

[Smacking Lips] Mmm.

Rogers, when you advanced that money, it was on the understanding...

I wouldn't have to pay it back till the end of the season.

Yeah, I know, Colonel. But I been running in a little tough luck myself.

I need the dough now. Can't you wait two more weeks till after the big race?

No dice. The paper says “payable on demand,“

and that's how it's gonna be.

But you know what this game is like, Rogers.

I just don't have that much cash.

Then you haven't any horses either.

I'm bringing the moving vans and the sheriff to the track in the morning. I'm sorry.

Good night, Miss Travers. Good night, Colonel.

He seemed so anxious to lend that money.

I should have suspected he was after our stable.

Grandpa, we still have my money. Why can't we use that?

Hmm.

$25,000. I'll need three times that amount. [Doorbell Rings ]

I was counting on the big race. Yes, I know, Grandpa,

but why can't we just buy back Sir Gallant? No, I'm through with horses.

And that goes for you too.

It's taken me a long time to find out.

I should have known when they broke your father's heart, and his bank account.

They're too rich for our blood. Excuse me!

Mr. Stirling is here. [ Colonel]] Come in, Stirling.

Thank you.

I'm sorry to come back so late, but I'm afraid I have bad news for you.

Don't ask why, but I've got to quit my job.

I've got some news for you, Stirling. I haven't got any horses.

And you haven't got a job.

G," [ Whistling “My Bonnie”]

[Giggling]

♪♪ [Whistling Continues] [Giggling]

[ Vehicle Approaches] Don't! That tickles! I'm sensitive!

[ Indistinct Chatter] [ Horses Whinnying]

Wonder what all the noise is. I don't know.

[ Horse Whinnying]

Butcherman. Butcherman.

[ Whinnying]

Aw, the Colonel was all broken up.

I sure feel sorry for Miss Travers... and the Colonel.

Well, better get your suitcase and let's get outta here.

You mean ya want me with ya? Aw, get your suitcase.

[Whinnies] Dairy Queen.

Dairy Queen.

Well, a copper and a sheriff.

I always say there's nothing like doing things legal.

That's probably the first time you ever did anything legal.

You're a real funny man, aren't you, Mr. Damer?

Hey,joe, get Oakwood Gal.

Chuck? Yeah?

Down to the end stall and get Sir Gallant. Handle him easy.

[Sheriff] Oh, Mr. Rogers--

How do you like this horse? He lives better than I do!

If this crummy-lookin' animal is the favorite, I'm bettin' a long shot!

You dumbjackass, can't you tell a horse from a mule?

A mule?

I thought this was Sir-

Well, whatever he is, he comes along.

Come on. [Grunting]

Come on!

[Grunting] Come on!

Come on!

[Grunts]

Come on, before I bash your brains out!

[Grunting] Take it easy. You'll last longer.

Keep your nose out of this, ya dumb cop.

Hey, who are you callin' a dumb cop?

I didn't say nothin'. I-- Look, one more crack like that, jer.

and I'll monogram your bridgework.

I'd like to see ya do it.

Oh, you would? Why, you two-bit hoodlum-

Honest, Damer, I didn't say nothin'! I didn't even open my mouth!

Get out of here with this mule before I forget myself and break ya in half.

You and who else? Huh?

Okay, wise guy, that did it! Damer! No!

[ Punching, Shouting]

Sheriff I

Francis! Are you all right?

For the love of mud! Let's get out of here, quick!

You step through that door and you're in trouble.

I can't leave without saying good-bye. It wouldn't be polite.

Send her a singin' telegram.

Francis, she's been very nice to me.

She got you in trouble once, and she'll do it again. But, Francis--

- Oh, Mr. Stirling! - [ Francis Groans] Oh!

I was hoping that you'd stop by before you left.

You were? I-l need your help.

Well, what would you like me to do? Well, I wa-

Please.

Would you-

Mr. Stirling, I want you to buy back Sir Gallant for me.

Buy back Sir Gallant? But I only have $42.17.

I have the money. That is, if you think Mr. Rogers will take $25,000.

$25,000? For a horse?

Well, I know it isn't very much for the handicap favorite,

but it's all that I have.

Well, I'd like to, Miss Travers, but I--

Please. They've moved our horses to the Happy Chance Farm.

You'll find Mr. Rogers there. lfyou'll just try speaking to him for me.

B-But, Miss Travers, I-l-

Why, your eyes are hazel.

I always thought they were green. [Francxk ] Get him.

Did you say something? Uh, no. Oh, y-yes. Well, no.

Well, uh, Francis-

I was wondering if you'd ever start calling me by my first name, Peter.

No, wh-

Peter.

[Clearing Throat]

I want Oakwood Gal to set the pace about five lengths ahead of Sir Gallant.

- Okay, boss. - And, you, keep a tight rein on him,

or he'll pass the filly as though she were standing still.

I merely want to see how Sir Gallant looks in action. Okay, boys.

Well, it looks like “Square Deal” Mallory is back in business,

and your name doesn't even appear on the records. Let's keep it that way.

[ Car Horn Beeps]

Who's that?

I don't know, boss.

Saw him around the track yesterday. Get rid of him.

Uh, Mr. Rogers? Yes.

My name is Peter Stirling. I represent Colonel Travers. Yeah?

Well, I represent his granddaughter, and I-- Well, that is, she-

I mean, uh, we- Well, anyway, we'd like to buy back Sir Gallant.

Yeah? Well, wait till you hear the price I have to offer.

$25,000.

Twenty-five grand? Yes, sir.

I wouldn't sell you one end of the horse for that.

We don't want one end. We want both ends.

Beat it,junior. We're busy. Er, but- But-

Mr. Rogers!

Uh, Mr. Rogers, if you'll just give me a moment.

I told you, scram. Yeah, b-

That Sir Gallant is something to watch.

[ Rogers ] Yeah, he sure is.

That Sir Gallant is something to watch.

Look at him running away from the other horse. Sir Gallant's in back.

That's Oakwood Gal out front. Oh.

I don't know why the Colonel thinks so much of Sir Gallant.

He can't get close to Oakwood Gal. Look,junior,

I don't know why I'm bothering--

Well, Mr. Rogers, it looks like your little secret is out. Secret?

This young man seems to have an instinctive eye for horses. I've been told that before.

Only an expert could determine so quickly that Sir Gallant's reputation is overrated...

and that Oakwood Gal is the far superior horse.

I'm not really an expert. [Chuckles]

Young man, that money you offered Mr. Rogers--

is it immediately available? Oh, yes, sir.

I have it right here on me. It's in cash. Cash offer.

Mr. Rogers, it so happens that I'm an old friend of Colonel Travers. Really?

Yes. And if you could figure out someway of taking care of him,

I'd be most grateful.

Well, um, I'd like to please both you gentlemen, but-

Well, why don't you two go over to your office and discuss the matter?

But, I, uh- As a personal favor to me.

Very well. Suppose we do that, Mr. Stirling. Fine!

No. No, I've made up my mind.

Soon as I can arrange jobs for everyone, I'll put the place up for sale.

Something may change your mind, Grandpa.

Nothing will change it.

We're going to move as far away from racetracks as we can.

[ Car Horn Beeping]

He's here! Who's here?

Oh, Grandpa, I've got the most wonderful surprise!

I'm not in the mood for surprises. You will be for this one.

We have Sir Gallant back. [Car Horn Beep/mg]

I don't understand. I bought him!

Grandpa, it's the only time I ever clisobeyed you, but I just had to.

I suppose I ought to be angrywith you for this.

But- But Sir Gallant is back.

And now we'll win the big race,

and we'll start another stable, bigger and better than ever.

I don't know how you ever talked Mr. Rogers into it.

Oh, Peter, you're wonderful.

Oh... it was nothing. [Horse Whinnies ]

Co--

Back. Back up.

Sir Gallant?

This isn't Sir Gallant. It's Oakwood Gal.

That's right. You were both wrong about her. You didn't buy Oakwood Gal!

Oh, yes. Well, where's Sir Gallant?

Mr. Rogers is keeping him, but he's not half the horse this one is.

I know which is the best horse. I raised them both.

But you should have seen them racing.

Sir Gallant couldn't get close to Oakwood Gal. Mr. Rogers said-

Rogers? How much did you pay for her?

Well, I offered him $25,042-

- Twenty-five thousand- - Forty-two dollars and 17 cents.

But he was nice enough to let me have it for less. How much less?

$42.17.

Stirling, if this is some kind of joke- W-Well, no, sir.

I've got all the papers right here. Oh, no.

You haven't already signed for her? How could you, Peter?

But you don't understand. Sir Gallant has a big reputation, but Oakwood Gal--

All right, what's your game? Game?

In another month, we could have bought this filly in a $2,000 claiming race.

How much you getting from Rogers? Nothing!

I thought I was doing the right thing-

You know too much about horses not to know you were doing the wrong thing!

I think this is a matter for the police. But, Colonel Travers!

Uh, w-well, y-you-

Well, I--

That was quite a huddle you had with “Square Deal” Mallory, wasn't it?

I don't know anyone by that name.

Oh, don't hand me that. I saw you with him.

How long you been working for the syndicate? I'm not working for anyone!

No? Before I'm through with ya,

you'll be workin' for the state for the next 10 years. But I didn't do anything!

You believe that, don't ya? Come on!

You and me better have another powwow with the chief. Now, wait a minute!

I can prove that I don't know any gamblers or syndicates!

I can prove I don't know anything! I've got a witness!

This is your witness? Yes, sir.

Uh, Francis-

Who ya talkin' to?

Francis. He's my witness.

Will you please tell these people I don't know anything about racetracks or gamblers?

This guy is nuts!

Uh, please.

Uh, I think I should explain.

Francis dislikes talking in front of strangers.

Are you trying to tell us that your mule talks?

Yes. just like I'm talking to you now?

Well, his voice is a little deeper.

I don't know what kind of trick this is, but you're goin' with me.

Francis, say something! He's gonna take me to the chief! This is ridiculous!

You've got to help me! Think how long we've been friends.

Think of what we've been through together.

I could kick you in the-

Francis, don't be stubborn. Say something!

I'll say something. You and me are going bye-bye.

Please, Mr. Damer, ma yl speak to you and Grandpa outside? All right.

Look, wise guy, don't try anything funny. I'll be right outside the door.

Hah-hah! “Ose-clay” the “oor-day.” Oh, now you talk.

What's this about you and the chief?

I've got to have $25,000 right away.

How much? 25,000!

That's what I thought you said.

I've got to return the money, or they'll send me to jail.

Happy days. I bought the wrong horse.

I bought Oakwood Gal instead of Sir Gallant.

Now, that's a nice logical mistake. Yeah. Don't talk with your mouth full.

Didn't your folks ever teach you anything?

What do you mean?

One's a girl horse, and one's a boy horse.

Oh. Well, it wasn't a mistake. I just wasn't interested.

Oh, come back here.

Are you gonna help me?

You suppose you could stall that cop off for a couple of hours? What for?

How much loot you got? $42.17.

I am going to slip you a seven-horse parlay.

Seven-horse parlay? Is that good?

Is that good? Look.

You bet $40 to win on the first horse.

Then after you win, you bet it all on the next one.

Oh. Ya keep bettin', you'll have 25,000...

by the end of the last race.

Have you got a pencil? Yeah, yeah. Yes.

All right. Get to writin'. Wait, wait, wait now. Okay.

The first race is Golden Baby.

Golden Baby. Second race, See Saw.

Second race... See Saw.

Fourth race-- Fourth- What about the third race?

Skip the third. Those scatterbrained two-yea r-olds...

don't know themselves who's gonna win.

In the fourth race, it's Extravagant.

Look, Miss Travers. I got as much respect for a war hero as the next guy,

but that don't excuse him. Don't you see?

Getting all those medals, and then winding up in the hospital so many times-

it may have left its mark on him.

I knew there was something peculiar about that boy.

Well, I still can't believe he would do anything like that deliberately.

If that's the way you feel about it,

we ought to give him an opportunity to return the money.

Then if he doesn't, we can prefer charges.

Now, in the eighth it's Blue Buckle. Ya got it?

How do you know all these horses are gonna win?

Shh! F.B.l.

F.B.l.? Uh-huh.

Feed Bag Information. Yeah.

[ Track Announcer] It's Falling Star, Hot Food and Legal Counsel.

It's Falling Star taking the lead.

Hot Food, Legal Counsel and Andy's Son are bunched together.

Here comes Golden Baby between horses!

It's Falling Star and Golden Baby.

Golden Baby and Falling Star, neck and neck.

First race isn't over yet. I know.

Coming down to the wire, it's Golden Baby the winner!

Falling Star was second, Legal Counsel third, and Hot Food finished fourth.

Oh.

Little lucky today, huh? Yes, sir.

As long as the Colonel was sucker enough to give you 24 hours,

instead of hangin' around, why don't you try to get him back his 25 G's?

Well, that's what I'm doing.

[Announcer] See Saw and Georgia: '5 Beau. You want something, bud?

No,just waiting. It is See Saw the winner by three lengths,

Georgia's Beau second, Barre/head third, and Furlong finished fourth.

[Announcer] Your attention, please. The horses are approaching-

You ain't bettin' the third race? Oh, no, sir.

What's the matter? Even the horses don't know who's gonna win this one.

'Course.

The horses?

[Announcer] In the stretch, it's Extravagant,

Royal Mystery, Tan/an and Kleenaway

ifs Extravagant and Royal Mystery head and head.

The race isn't overyet, buddy. I know.

Royal Mystery, and ifs Extravagant the winner!

It is now. Tan/an third and Kleena way--

Wait a minute, Whitey. Let me see those tickets.

Okay.

1,000,1,050. 1,100,1,150-

Fifth race ain't even started.

He knows.

4,000.

5,000... 5,580.

So l ask him- I says, uh, “How come you ain't bettin' the third race?“

You know what he tells me? “Even the horses don't know who's gonna win that one.”

You're positive he doesn't talk to anybody? Nobody but me! But nobody!

And he's picked six winners already. Hmm.

I better have another talk with this young man. Yeah, okay, Chief.

I'm tellin'ya, this kid is nuts.

$20,000, $21,000. $22,000-

I didn't think Blue Buckle had a chance.

$23,000, $24,000. $25,000.

One, two, 10, 20. $25,220.

[ Peter] Thank you.

You're welcome.

I understand you bid a few races today, Mr. Stirling. Seven, sir.

And how many did you win? Seven, sir.

You didn't bet the third race. Why not?

Francis said that even the horses didn't know who was gonna win.

“Francis said“? Not the Francis I met in the stall.

Stay out of this, Damer. Who is Francis?

Well, Fran-

I-I can't tellya, sir.

I can. It'll hand ya a laugh. Francis is- I told ya to stay out of this.

Is this guy Francis one of “Square Deal” Mallorys boys?

Oh, no. He isn't anybody's boy.

Why can't you tell us who he is? You wouldn't believe me.

First, you tell us Betsey Sue has a complex and Sudden Storm will win.

Today you hit a seven-horse parlay. I'd believe anything.

Anything? Anything

Well, sir, Francis is a mule.

I told ya; the kid's crazy. D-Did you say mule?

Yes, sir.

You want I should smack him, boss?

What sort of mule?

Uh, a very intelligent mule.

Very intelligent mule.

Now let's take this a little slower.

You say this mule tells you things. Is that right?

Yes, sir. Aw,just one, boss. Let- Right on the button!

Exactly how does this mule talk to you?

What do you mean, sir?

Does he talk to you the way I talk to you, in English?

Oy, yes, sir..

I tell ya, the kid's off his rocker.

And this mule- this Francis-- tells you about horses?

Yes, sir. I see.

I suppose, Mr. Stirling you thihk you're very clever

Uh, n-no, sir!

Do you think you can twist this track around your finger?

What's the matter with you? Nothing!

I'll tell you! You're impertinent or a fool, or both! Yes, sir.

You won't get away with it, if it takes every last resource of the Racing Association.

Every last cent, understand? But you don't-

Y-Ya -- Get out of here! Beat it!

Don't let him out of your sight. Not for a second!

Right, Chief. Be a closer tail on him than on his mule.

Hey, Francis! Yes?

I got it. WellL what kept ya so long, hmm?

Well, I was arrested again. Oh, what for?

The inspector wanted to know howl picked all those horses. And you told him.

What could I do? Oh, I know.

How much money ya got in that bag?

Well, I've got $25,220.

Oh, and 10 cents.

You better go see the Colonel and buy back Oakwood Gal. Buy her?

What do ya expect to do, give him the money and let him keep the horse?

What would I do with a racehorse? With that one, I don't know.

She's still entered in the handicap, ain't she? Yes.

Since we're stuck with her, we might as well see what we can do to make her win.

Who is “we“?

Oh, let's just say we'll handle this together.

I got a hunch about that filly.

Shh. Somebodys coming. Out the back door.

And bring back that horse!

Hello.

Hello, mule.

Who do you like in the fifth tomorrow?

Me talkin' to a jackass. I must be losin' my marbles too.

[ Car Approaches]

So you're Francis.

What's this nonsense about your being able to talk?

Say something.

What about those seven winners?

[Dame-r] Say Chief Who said that?

I did.

lt-lt's true. Y-You can talk!

But- But, y- Boss, I-it's me.

Damer?

You so much as breathe a word of this, I'll have you--

Boss, don't let it throw ya. I-l just did the same thing myself.

You too?

That kid'll have us as crazy as he is. Let's get outta here.

[Giggling]

There it is. $25,000.

I couldn't believe it, Stirling. I just couldn't believe it.

Seven winners, wasn't it? Yes, sir.

Now I'll take Oakwood Gal and be on my way.

But you seem mighty anxious to buy her back. No, sir. You said-

It couldn't be you think she's a good filly...

and has a chance to win the big handicap? I wouldn't know about that.

No? Well, either you knew enough about horses to pick seven winners,

or you knew something else-

perhaps about a little inside fixin' by Mr. Mallory.

Grandpa, I think we're being very unfair.

I don't think he ever heard of Mr. Mallory before yesterday.

You do believe that, don't you?

Peter, you know how much winning this handicap means to us.

Do you think Oakwood Gal stands any sort of chance?

Oh, l-l'm sure she does. What makes you so certain?

Well- Please don't ask me.

If you think she might win, will you help us get her ready?

I know nothing about horses! Huh. Seven winners.

$25,000, and he says he knows nothing.

Man, oh, man. I'd like to be that ignorant.

Please, Peter. We need you.

Well, I'm sorry. I'd like to, but I can't.

Really, if there was any- lf-

Well, before I can take the job, I've got to explain to somebody.

Explain to somebody? Hmm? Oh, yes, sir. I promised.

Whom did you promise? I can't tell you.

Why not? Because I promised.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll see you in the morning.

Oh, uh, good night, Colonel Travers.

I don't like the sound of that.

Stirling? Yes, sir?

A friend of yours wants to see you. Uh-

lt's just as I thought. What?

Stirling leaving with two of Mallory's men.

Good evening.

Oh, Mr. Square Deal. They didn't tell me it was you.

So nice of you to drop in, Mr. Stirling. I didn't exactly drop in.

These two men- They deliver my invitations.

Thank you, gentlemen. That will be all.

Oh, Miss Van Rensaiiier, may l present Mr. Peter Stirling?

How do you do? I thank you, ma'am.

You're much younger than I expected. Oh, no.

I'm really much older than I am.

Elaine, my clear, will you pour Mr. Stirling a drink? Surely.

Oh, no, thank you. I can't stay. I have a previous appointment.

Come, now, Mr. Stirling. Sit down. I have a little proposition.

L-I'm sorry, but I-- A proposition?

Yes. Sit down.

Since you've learned my nickname, Mr. Stirling,

I assume you've also learned my business. They said you were a gambler.

Oh, a slight exaggeration. I'm in the brokerage business.

With all modesty, in my particular field I'm one of the most successful.

Oh, I knew a broker in the bank.

I handle a different type of investment.

I speculate on horses- which horse is going to win, that is.

Well, that's almost like gambling. In fact, it is gambling.

Not when you have the right information, Mr. Stirling.

However, it seems I now have a rival...

whose sources are better than my own. No, thank you.

Really, sir? Who, sir? You, Mr. Sflrhng.

Who, me, sir? Yes.

Sol am prepared to offer you a partnership in my organization.

A partnership? With your information and my connections...

we could make a great deal of money.

I already have a job with Colonel Travers. I get $75 a week!

I think I can start you off with slightly more than that.

Say, $1,000 a week more? Oh, that's awfully-- A th- Every week?

And all you have to do is tell me where you get your information.

What information? The horses, Mr. Stirling. Which ones are going to win.

Oh. ls something wrong?

I was afraid you'd ask me that. Oh, come now.

If we're to trust each other, I must know. I'd like to tell you, but I can't!

Oh, I can absolutely promise you full protection.

Oh, no, sir. It isn't that. Then what is it?

Y-You wouldn't believe me! Nonsense. Seven winners in seven races?

Good heavens, man! I'd believe anything. I don't think so.

In other words, you won't tell me. You really must know?

Where, Mr. Stirling? Where do you get your information?

Well... Francis told me.

Who? Francis who? Francis.

Well, Francis. A mule.

Did you say mule?

Yes, ma'am. Oh, really, Mr. Stirling.

Shut up! What kind of mule?

Er, a re-regular mule. We were friends in the army.

You get your information from a mule? Yes, sir.

He talks to you? Yes, sir.

One of us is crazy, and it isn't me.

Yes, sir. Now stop the double talk.

Where do you get your information?

I told you you wouldn't believe me, but it's the truth.

Hmm. Smart boy.

If you won't divulge the source of your information,

I'm sure you wouldn't mind splitting a few tips with me.

Suppose you spend the night here and be my guest at the track tomorrow?

I can't. That appointment. To talk to the mule, I suppose.

I've got to explain to him- I suggest you change your plans, Mr. Stirling!

G," [ Bugle Playing Call To The Post]

Okay, bub, what do ya like? I'd like a hot clog with mustard?

Who do ya like in the first? Who's gonna win? I really have no idea.

He ain't got any idea. The boss says you was to pick 'em, so pick 'em!

We-

Miss Q. Hester.

Did you see what I saw? Yeah,yeah, I seen.

Miss Q. Hester?

Why, she's a clog. I thought it was a horse race.

[Sighs] The boss must know what he's doin'.

Let's go plunk it down.

Where do you think you're goin'?

You told me I had to bet. At the two-buck window?

You're kiddin'.

Thirty-two tickets on number six.

Thirty-two tickets? Start shelling out.

Number six.

How many? Thi rty-two.

Thirty-two on number six, huh?

I think maybe I'll put a five spot on number six myself.

Excuse me!

[Announcer] Mr: Grrhgo is the wxhner: Pfckemup is second.

And the horse coming in now is Miss Q. Hester.

Miss Q. Hester.

The boss'll blow his cork. When I went out and phoned Miss Q Hester in,

he said he was gonna bet 10 G's.

That better have been a mistake Junior. Yes, sir.

Forty tickets on number nine.

Listen, kid, Black Spots better win,

or you'll find yourself in a mess of trouble. Yes, sir.

Okay, dig out the four G's.

Four grand on number nine.

Four grand on number nine?

[Announcer] At the quarter pole,

it's Miracle Boy, Red Ringerand Eldorelda.

Here comes Black Spots on the outside. Came can, Hack Spats'.!

He's comin'! Look at him go! Come on, Black Spots!

Look at him go! Look at him- He stopped!

[Announcer] It's Miracle Boy, the winner. Black Spots.

Eldorelda finished third and Transient Miss finished fourth.

I don't understand it, Chief.

Seven straight winners yesterday, seven straight losers today.

The eighth race isn't overyet. Why aren't you watching?

They only got two ridin' on this one. Two thousand?

Two bucks! That's their bankroll.

And it's two bucks more than I got left.

Then that seven-horse parlay yesterday was just a fluke.

I hate to think what Mallory's gonna do to that kid.

The rumor's around he dropped more than 200 grand. That's not our responsibility.

As far as I'm concerned, the matter's closed.

All right, Chief.

Boy, that kid must be nuts.

He's out in front! Come on! He's out in front!

He's gaining! Come on! Come on! Come on!

Maybe we oughta plug him now.

Maybe the boss has got other ideas.

He won! He won! I'd told you he'd win, and he won!

You know what that two-dollar ticket'll pay?

You just made yourself 40 cents.

Yeah, yeah, but I picked a winner! Yeah, you sure did.

The boss will wanna split the winnings with ya.

Come on.

You've cost me $200,000. Start talking.

Wh-What do you want me to talk about? About seven losers in a row.

It was all your fault. You wouldn't let me get to Francis.

Are you gonna start that mule business again? Yes, sir.

I could have you fitted with cement slippers and dropped in the harbor.

I'll take you to Francis. You'll what?

You can talk to him yourself. Me, Roy Mallory, talk to a mule?

I should say not!

So this is where you get your information.

Yes, sir. This is Francis.

Go ahead, make him talk. Eh-

Hello, Francis.

Um, hello, Francis.

I didn't hear him answeryou. He didn't.

Uh, Francis, this gentleman is Mr. Square Deal Mallory.

I had to come to you. You've gotta show him that you can talk.

Say something, Francis, please.

Well?

Francis, if you ever did anything for me, do it now.

Just one little “yes?

Even a “no?

Uh, he-he's like this sometimes. Sometimes?

Think of what we went through together in the war.

They're gonna make me cement slippers and drop me in the harbor!

Maybe he's hard of hearing. No, no, he hears me. He's just stubborn, that's all.

I demand you to say something. I'll say something, $200,000-worth.

You're crazy. I tell you, Francis can talk.

I'm gonna have a couple of the boys take care of you. You wouldn't do anything...

to anybody that's crazy, would ya?

I'm gonna let you off with a little friendly advice:

Get outta town while you're still in one piece.

He seemed a little peeved.

Peeved? He wants to kill me.

Why?

We lost a... little at the track today.

“We“? How much did you go for?

Well, we, uh-

The whole 25,000. Twenty-five?

Oh, my achin' back.

- Francis, I wish I was dead. - You know somethin'? I'll drink to that.

Pete, you'll find a sack stashed over in that feed bin over there.

Sack? What for? Ah, get it out.

You ask the darnedest things at the darnedest times.

Yeah.

Why, it's beer and whiskey. Uh-huh.

Stable hands never take a chance on gettin' caught short.

Now, Peter, my boy, get me a bucket.

What do you want the bucket for? So I can drink out of it.

Imbibing from a bottle seems a bit crude, don't you think?

Francis, do you drink? After seven years in the army?

[Chuckles] Start pourin'.

What'll I open it with? Hold it behind me.

Behind ya? Yeah. Go on.

Behind you.

Get on the other side. I'm left-footed.

How's this? A little lower.

- Ya all set? - Fire!

Bull's-eye!

Hey, quite a touch you got there, Pete.

Francis, do you think you should? Silly boy.

Keep pourin'.

Don't stop now? More?

That ain't enough to wet my whistle. [Whistles] More.

[Humming “My Bonnie“ ]

Same place? Same place.

♪♪ [ Continues Humming]

Fire two.

Roger.

Three. Check.

Come on, pour.

Hey! [Chuckling] That's more like it.

Yeah.

Uh, ain't you joinin' me? Huh?

Now, you know I don't drink.

Oh, twist your arm. Grab a bottle.

Wish we had some pretzels, huh?

Well, here's mud in your eye.

[Slurping]

; Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me g\

♪ My Bonnie lies over;

♪ The oh-cean ♪ [ Hiccups]

[ Raspy Voice] ♪ My Bonnie lies ♪

♪ Over the... sea ♪ [ Hiccups]

G My Bonnie lies g Shhh'.!

♪ Over the- ♪

Francis, you're loaded. [Slurred] I don't know why.

[Hiccups] You only had one drink.

I said you're loaded. Don't be ridi- [ Hiccups]

Ridic- [Hiccups] Silly.

Petey, ol' boy, you're a nice kid.

You and me are buddies all through the war together.

[Chuckles] Quit your slobbering. Say, Pete-

[Laughing]

Now, what's so funny?

The idea of Oakwood Gal winning the big race. [ Hiccups]

Like that $100,000 handicap.

Why don't you stand still when I speak to you?

I am standing still. Don't interrupt.

Yes, sir, Pete, Oakwood Gal...

might be able to win that race, if she wanted to-

[ Hiccups] 'Scuse me.

Which she don't.

Well, why doesn't she? She has an inf-

An inf-

An inf-erer-orty complex.

B-But- Shhh!

[Footsteps] We're gettin' company. Quiet!

Stirling! Peter!

Hello, Colonel. Miss Travers. Who's in here with you?

Uh, nobody. Nobody but Francis.

I'm sorry I didn't report this morning, but-

What are you doing here? What was that racket? I came to see Francis.

[Hiccups] Young man, [Clears Throat]

I'll give you two minutes to take your mule and get off my property.

There's something I must tell you. Miss Travers, you've got to listen to me.

I know how Oakwood Gal can win the handicap. By crooked methods?

We're not interested. Francis isn't crooked.

Are you referring to that animal? Yes. He's got a plan.

He? got a plan? What sort of nonsense is this? It's not nonsense.

You said a mouthful.

Who said that? Who said that?

Keep your shirt on, Colonel. [Hiccups] I said it.

I don't believe it.

}49¢zakw1??' 'féfifiumfihfihgij hAiss-

Oh! Oh, uh-

Well, don't stand there, Colonel. Get her some water.

Yes, sir- Uh,yes, ma'am. Uh- Yes.

Miss Travers, are-are you all right? Sure, the dame's all right.

♪ My Bonnie lies ♪

♪ Over the ocean ♪

Here you are, my dear.

I don't believe it, Stirling. It's impossible. ,9 My Bonnie Lies 0 ver- ,-=;,-='

You're a ventriloquist. Oh, no, sir.

Give me that. You drink it. Go on.

Go on. Talkwhile he's drinking, while he's drinking the water.

Go on, talk. I defy you. [Slurred] What do you want me to say?

[ Hiccups] 'Scuse me. He can talk.

Oh!

Listen, lady, you faint once more,

I won't “hift“ a “loof“- [ Hiccups]

Hoofa lift- [ Hiccups] I won't lift a hoof to help you.

As a matter of fact, I--

[Groaning]

- Francis! - [ Groans]

Francis!

What happened? What's wrong?

[Sighs] Francis has passed out.

[Meaning]

Oh, my head! [Groans]

[Groaning] Oh!

Francis, are you all right? [Groaning]

Stop shouting. [Groaning] He's all right.

Certainly, I'm all right. And get this silly junk off my head.

You had us up all night.

Oh! What clay is this? Hmm? Huh?

It's Tuesday. Tuesday? Holy cow.

Well, if I'm gonna save the situation, the sooner I get started, the better.

Where's Oakwood Gal?

Cat got your tongue, Colonel? Hmm? Oh!

Uh, she's in the next barn there, in the middle stall.

Let's go.

Ooh, my head.

Come on!

Oh, here she is. Well, what now, Francis?

Off the record, there's nothing wrong with Oakwood Gal,

except a bad case of hero worship.

Hero worship? You know how kid sisters are about their big brothers.

Well, she's convinced she can't beat Sir Gallant.

It's given her an inferiority complex.

- Wh-Wh-What are you gonna do, Francis? - Well, psychoanalyze her.

Psychoanalyze a horse? Well, they do it to people, don't they?

Now, get lost for an hour.

Hey! Get up there.

Mornin', ma'am. [Neighing]

Now, Oakie, ol' gal, you and I are gonna have...

a nice, relaxing talk.

I'm your friend, and I wanna help you.

Suppose you lie clown like a nice little girl.

Put your head back on that hay.

Come on now, lie down. Uh-huh.

Yeah.just relax.

Keep that little Southern body on that Northern hay and listen to me.

Are you comfy? Hmm.

Now I want you to think back to your childhood,

way back to the very beginning.

Now I need a drink. I'll make you a julep, Grandpa.

No. Mix me a Moscow Mule. Tell Dr. Francis all about it.

[Stirling Grunting]

Easy does it, Mr. Stirling. Yeah, I'll take it easy.

Now remember, little girl, you win with your heart.

A horse that won't be beat, can't be.

[ Oakwood Gal Nickering] Francis, you've inspired her enough.

I'll handle this! Now-

Please! Remember that thought:

“Every day in every way, I'm getting better and better.“

New get in there. You-hoo'.!

[Neighing]

[Laughing]

If I got that silly filly any more steamed up, she'd overshoot the runway.

Excuse me, Francis, but I--

I don't think she oughta work more than the half-mile, do you?

Colonel, either you keep outta my hair, or I quit.

I was only trying to be helpful. Then you'd better start seeing about a good jock.

- I thought Peter was going to ride Oakwood Gal. - In the $100,000 handicap?

Why, the kid wouldn't last once around on a merry-go-round.

Well, I thought that- Hey, I'll do the thinkin'.

Boy, oh, boy!

Sam. Oh, it's you, Mr. Stirling.

I was worried about Oakwood Gal, so l came to check.

I reckon we all get nervous this close to the big race.

I was bedded down there so's I can keep an eye on things.

That's a good idea. You know, Mr. Stirling, I've been watching you work out.

If you don't mind my saying so,

you've got the most unusual seat I ever did see.

I have? Yes, sir. Is that something you developed yourself?

Well, I guess I was born with it.

Well, then I guess you're just one of them natural-born riders.

Oh. [Both Laughing]

Oh, who'd ever thought she'd be entered in this big race?

A couple of people had the idea.

Cut the tendon in the hind leg. I know what to do.

Unhook that and get that stupid donkey out of the way.

Come on, come on.

Hey-

[ Brays] Police! Come on, get up there.

Emergency. All track police to stable one.

Somebody called the cops.

On the double. Stable one. Come on!

Get the lead out! Help!

The donkey done it.

[Francis] Police! Help! Help!

[Gunshot]

Sam! Sam!

Hold on now! Drop that gun! What-

All right. Let's go.

Francis.

Francis.

Doctor, tell me- Not now, Stirling, not now.

The doctors have been in there over an hour.

He'll be all right, Peter. I'm sure he will.

He's onlya mule, but he's like a mother to me.

He's the best friend I ever had.

I don't know what I'll do without him.

Ooh! Take it easy, Doc.

If you please, Dr. Marberry, I'm doing this.

Of course, Doctor, I didn't- Scalpel!

What're you doin', diggin' a sewer?

I suppose you could do better?

Really, Dr. Quimby, I didn't say any--

Hemostat and sponges!

[ Francis] Ooh! [Sighs]

Got the bullet.

Sutures.

[ Brays] Are you supposed to be a doctor or a butcher?

Very well, Dr. Marberry.

You may continue. No, no, Dr. Quimby.

I insist. f insist.

Will you two quacks make up your mind?

Couldn't be. It's impossible.

That's what you think.

Uh- Doctor-- Eh, Doctor, is, is he all right?

He?

Yeah, yes, he's all right, but-

I think we inhaled...

too much ether.

Come on in. Francis.

Francis, you're all right. I hope to kiss a duck, I'm all right.

I was so afraid I was gonna lose you.

Skip it. You're slobberin' all over me.

Francis, we were so worried. lf there's anything we can do for you-

[Francis ] There's some thing you can do for me right now.

Anything you say.

Get the heck off of my tail!

[Laughing]

Any special instructions, Colonel Travers? No.

She knows the kind of race she's going to run. You mean the horse?

That is, she'll do it instinctively.

I hope you're right, Colonel. She doesn't look like much.

[ Slapping Horse]

Are you sure you can trust Francis? I'm worried about Oakwood Gal.

What do you think is wrong with her?

I can't figure it out. She just hasn't got any pep.

We better get to Francis right away.

I don't suppose you people come here to talk about my operation.

We're in trouble. There's something wrong with Oakwood Gal.

That dumb little fillys got stage fright. Stage fright?

Yeah. Handicap is big stuff to a racehorse.

Francis, you've got to do something.

“Francis, you've got to do something.“ Must I run the race too?

Please. Francis. Are you using a lead pony?

What's a lead pony?

Some horse expert. He's the pony that leads the horse to the starting gate.

I never use one with Oakwood Gal.

Well, this race, you will.

G," [ Bugle Playing Call To The Post]

[Announcer] Attention, ladies and gentlemen,

the horses are on the track for the big handicap...

for a purse of$100,000 added atone mile and a quarter.

Here's something very unusual:

a mule acting as lead pony accompanying Oakwood Gal to the starting gate.

Is that a... mule?

I believe it is. Highly irregular.

[Oakwood Gal Neighing]

I've been a member of the Racing Association for 11 years,

and I've never seen a mule for a lead pony. Neither have I.

[Crowd Chattering]

[Announcer] The horses ha ve reached the starting ga te...

and are being taken by the assistant starters...

and going into position for this mile-and-a-quarter handicap.

[Neighing] Oakwood Ga/ is acting a biz' fiaczfifous at the ga re.

I never saw Oakwood Gal so full of vinegar.

[Announcer] They're in the stafls now Looks mighty fishy.

The flag is up.

[ Starting Bell Rings] And they're off and running.

It's Oakwood Gal breaking on top. Radio Script is second.

Interval is third. Short Tort is fourth. Phantom Bell is fifth.

- Sir Gallant, Lucky Lucky and Barrel Head. - Come on, Oakwood Ga“!

Oakwood Gal has opened up a long lead of six lengths.

Radio Script is second by a length. Interval is third by a half

Short Tort is fourth bya head. Then comes Radio Script.

Turning into the back stretch, it is Oakwood Gal...

making the pace in hand and leading by eight lengths.

She's leading, she's leading! lf she wasn't, I told her I'd kick her teeth in.

[Announcer] Around the far turn, it's Oakwood Gal...

by a length and a half Short Tort is second by a head.

Interval is third by a head, Radio Script and Sir Gallant.

Come on, boy! Now cut her loose!

[Announcer] Has opened up a long lead.

Short Tort is seconoj Phantom Bell is thxroj and here comes Sir' Gaflan z'.

- Come on, Oakwood Gal! - Come on, now! Come on!

[Announcer] Oakwood Gal and Sir Gallant. It's Oakwood Gal bya length.

- Come on! Come on! - That's it. No, no, go back. Go back.

[Announcer] It is Sir Gallant and Oakwood Gal.

Come on! Come on!

And it is Sir Gallant- No. It's Oakwood Gal, the winner.

We won! Grandpa, we won!

Francis! Francis, we won, we won!

Oh, stop, Pete. What'll people think, huh?

That was the most flagrant thing I ever saw. Sir Gallant stopped cold.

The horse was deliberately pulled. I can't believe that Col. Travers--

No one's ever fixed this race before, and they're not going to start now.

Bring everyone involved to the office at once.

[Announcer] Your attention. 3e sure to hold all zfifcke t5.

I guess we're all agreed that Sir Gallant stopped cold. That's right.

All right, Mr. Harrington. Whether or not Sir Gallant was pulled,

there's been something funny going on at this track since this fellow got here.

Oakwood Gal never ran like that in her life.

Colonel Travers and Mr. Rogers, will you wait outside, please?

If you think I had anything to do with fixing the race, you're crazy.

We've asked that Mr. Mallory be brought here. We'll get to the bottom of this.

I can prove that Mr. Mallory and I went to the cleaners backing Sir Gallant.

Later, Mr. Rogers. We'll hear what you have to say.

All right, boys. We'll call you.

Now, young man. Yes, sir?

According to my information, you've been acting as trainer for Oakwood Gal.

Yes- Uh, no- Not exactly. It was really Francis who was the trainer.

Francis? Francis who? Who's Francis?

What's his last name?

He doesn't have one. That's ridiculous.

But, you see, Francis is a-

Well? Wh-Wh- I meant-

Stirling! One word outta you about a talking mule and-

Talking mule?

Yeah- But Francis really does talk.

Whoever heard of a talking mule? [All Arguing]

Young man, are you trying to tell us you know a mule that talks?

Know him? He's my best friend. Oh!

Your “friend” was Oakwood Gal's trainer? Yes, sir.

- Do you take us for a bunch of fools? - No, sir.

I've been through this malarkey. It's a cover-up.

Says who? Says me! Who said that?

I said it.

What?

Am I glad you brought Francis.

I told him you were in trouble. He brought me.

l-lt's true! Lo-Look at him!

A mule talking! Oh, look at yourself. You're talkin'.

Can't be! This is the most unbelievable thing I ever heard.

- I must be nuts. - I must be losing my mind.

Yeah?Well, I'm losing my patience. Now sit down,

all of ya!

I still can't believe it. Y-You're really talking. What does it sound like?

And you can talk to- to horses?

Hey, you catch on quick, bub.

Wh-What did you do to Oakwood Gal?

I just psychoanalyzed her.

- You- You what? - I convinced her she's every bit as good as her big brother.

Is there anything wrong with that, gentlemen?

Wrong? Well?

No, no. l-l-l-l- I don't know.

Th-There's no precedent. No, no, I don't think so.

All right, then. Declare the race official.

What about Sir' Gallant? You talked hr??? x}? to thro wing the race, dfdntyou?

By the tail of my Great Aunt Regret, I oughta kick your teeth in.

You were standing near him at the starting gate.

All I did was remind him that Oakwood Gal was his baby sister.

I suppose that's what made him stop so suddenly. What else?

I knew that moron was too polite to pass his kid sister in the stretch.

This is awful. It's the end of horse racing. It's the end of racetracks.

It's the end of everything. No more Santa Anita,

no more Hollywood Park, no more Churchill Downs, no more Pimlico.

Aw, relax! I can talk to horses, but they bore me.

Pete here got himself into ajam, and I had to get him out.

From now on, I'm through. No more talkin'.

If you'll keep quiet about it, you can all go back to runnin' your little races.

The results are declared... [Panting] official.

Good-bye, Frances. Spelled with an

With an “E.” Good-bye again, sir. ,9 My Bonnie Lies ,9

Good-bye, my boy. ♪ Over the sea ♪

Don't you know you're not supposed to sing with your mouth full?

Good-bye, my boy-