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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,007 --> 00:00:06,003 - Hey, hey hey! 2 00:00:05,015 --> 00:00:06,003 It's the best day of the year. 3 00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:10,001 Happy Cinco de Mayo! 4 00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:11,007 - I don't think you're allowed 5 00:00:11,007 --> 00:00:12,008 to wear a poncho to work, Hitchcock. 6 00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:13,023 - Let's fiesta! 7 00:00:13,023 --> 00:00:15,013 [band playing "The Mexican Hat Song"] 8 00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:16,021 - Oh, you got a band. 9 00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:21,009 - Stop, stop! No trumpets! 10 00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:23,005 Not today! My head is killing me! 11 00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:25,003 - Hit the tequila a little early, huh? 12 00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:27,007 - I'm not hung over, Hitchcock. I've got a tension headache. 13 00:00:27,007 --> 00:00:28,013 I've got the Lieutenant's exam tonight. 14 00:00:28,013 --> 00:00:30,007 I'm stress-eating like crazy. 15 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:32,013 I had ten hard-boiled egg yolks this morning. 16 00:00:32,013 --> 00:00:34,005 - Gross. - You're having a high-grade 17 00:00:34,005 --> 00:00:35,015 pre-test freak out. 18 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:38,001 I've been there. March 13, 2001. 19 00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,007 AP Calc test-- 20 00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:40,015 - Ames, I hate to cut you off, 21 00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:42,010 but we all know where this story's going. 22 00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,014 - Oh, yeah? You know that I crapped my pants 23 00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:45,006 in the middle of the test? 24 00:00:45,006 --> 00:00:46,016 - Oh my God, no, I thought you were just gonna say 25 00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:47,022 you got a B+ or something. 26 00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:49,022 - More like a BM. - Noice. 27 00:00:49,022 --> 00:00:52,014 - Come on, now Terry's worried about his test and his bowels! 28 00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:54,008 - What you need, Sergeant, is to distract yourself. 29 00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:57,001 NPR has a riveting six hour interview 30 00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:58,010 with Eileen Moon Myers. 31 00:00:58,010 --> 00:01:00,004 - Nobody knows who that is. 32 00:01:00,004 --> 00:01:01,017 - Nobody knows the Associate Principal Cellist in the 33 00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,014 New York Philharmonic? [snorts] Okay. 34 00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:06,005 - Wait! I've got it! I know how to distract Terry. 35 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,006 Captain, remember how you cancelled the last Halloween 36 00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:10,014 heist because there was that emergency gas line explosion 37 00:01:10,014 --> 00:01:12,005 and you said we had to "help out"? 38 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,016 - Yes, I also remember you 39 00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:15,014 refusing to believe the explosion was real. 40 00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:17,008 - Go back to acting school, buddy. 41 00:01:17,008 --> 00:01:19,009 You're way overselling the pain here. 42 00:01:19,009 --> 00:01:20,014 No one's buying it! 43 00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:22,002 Well, it's not like I was the only 44 00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:23,013 one who thought it was fake. 45 00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:26,012 - And the Oscar goes to... Trent! 46 00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,007 - You said that we should reschedule the heist for 47 00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:34,005 another day, so why not today? To help distract Terry? 48 00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:36,005 - Yes! And I would love to defend my crown after I 49 00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:37,015 destroyed you all last year. 50 00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:40,015 - Well, I mean, the proposal was all part of my plan. 51 00:01:40,015 --> 00:01:42,018 - All I remember is you bowing to me on your knees. 52 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,010 - Yeah, I was asking you to marry me. 53 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,018 - Well, you look like a fool. 54 00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:47,015 - Neither of you won because Jake swapped out 55 00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:49,010 the real championship cummerbund-- 56 00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,011 - Belt. 57 00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:52,007 - For the treacly proposal one. 58 00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:53,014 - What? I thought everyone loved that 59 00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:55,007 I used the heist to do the proposal. 60 00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:56,023 - You are wrong--everyone hated it--but it helped me win. 61 00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:59,002 During your engagement celebration, I snuck back 62 00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:00,015 and found the original cummerbund. 63 00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:02,003 - Belt. 64 00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:03,017 - It's hanging up in my living room at home. 65 00:02:03,017 --> 00:02:05,016 - I never thought I'd say this, but enough foreplay! 66 00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:06,016 Are we heisting or not? 67 00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:08,012 - Yes! - Of course! 68 00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,010 - Wait, I will only do this under one condition. 69 00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:13,010 Sergeant Jeffords agrees that this will help his nerves. 70 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,010 -Yeah, I mean, I would like to take my mind off the test. 71 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,006 And maybe I'll win this year! 72 00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:20,000 - Ah, the heist is already working. 73 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,018 Sergeant Jeffords has recovered his sense of humor. 74 00:02:21,018 --> 00:02:23,003 [laughter] - Hey! 75 00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,008 - All right, but for real, though. 76 00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:25,010 Are we doing this? 77 00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:26,010 -We're doing this! - Heist! 78 00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,012 - Heist! - Heist! 79 00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:29,012 - It's a Cinco de Mayo heist! 80 00:02:29,012 --> 00:02:31,008 - A Cinco de Mayo heist 81 00:02:31,008 --> 00:02:32,011 makes just as much sense as Halloween! 82 00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:33,011 Let's do it! 83 00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:36,011 [upbeat music] 84 00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:55,005 - Welcome one and all 85 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:59,012 to the first ever Cinco de Mayo Halloween Heist 6! 86 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,004 We're still working on the title. 87 00:03:01,004 --> 00:03:02,013 - No need, I love it! - Thank you, Charles. 88 00:03:02,013 --> 00:03:04,011 Now, before we go any further, 89 00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:06,001 we should probably choose an item to steal. 90 00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:07,012 Does anyone have anything valuable on them? 91 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,005 Maybe some jewelry? 92 00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:11,011 - I have a medical alert bracelet that tells people 93 00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:14,007 my name and address, in case I have a brain collapse. 94 00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:16,004 - Perfect, this year's champion will be whoever's in possession 95 00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:18,019 of Scully's very upsetting bracelet at midnight tonight. 96 00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:20,009 - I take my test at 6:30. - You know what, Terry? 97 00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:21,017 You're kind of making this a nightmare. 98 00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,012 Maybe you just shouldn't participate. 99 00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:24,016 - So this really isn't about helping out Sergeant Jeffords? 100 00:03:24,016 --> 00:03:25,019 - What? - I guess I'm out. 101 00:03:25,019 --> 00:03:27,007 - But--no, no, no, no, come on. 102 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,010 Of course I'm 100% in support of Terry. 103 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,018 In fact, I'm going to team up with him. 104 00:03:30,018 --> 00:03:32,004 - [laughs] Let's do this! 105 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,018 - You are so easily manipulated. 106 00:03:33,018 --> 00:03:35,018 Now you're stuck with Sergeant Dumb Dumb. 107 00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,002 -Damn it. - Hey. 108 00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,010 - Santiago, shall we join forces? 109 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,014 - Ooh, smart, teaming up with the reigning champ. 110 00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:45,005 - Again with this nonsense? I'm the reigning champ. 111 00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:47,018 The only thing you won last heist was a lifetime of 112 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,006 mediocre heterosexual intercourse with Jake. 113 00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:51,014 - [gasps] How dare you. 114 00:03:51,014 --> 00:03:53,010 No one thinks you won last year. 115 00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:55,008 - Wow, really thought the "how dare you" was going to be 116 00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:57,006 linked to his mean sex comment, but okay. 117 00:03:57,006 --> 00:03:59,002 - Right, sorry. I'll have you know 118 00:03:59,002 --> 00:04:02,002 Jake and I wear each other out every single night. 119 00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:04,002 - Good lord, overcompensating. You know what? 120 00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:05,014 Maybe we just shouldn't talk about this at work. 121 00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:08,013 - I'm texting Kevin to bring the cummerbund. 122 00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:11,003 You'll see who the real winner is, you braggy breeders. 123 00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:13,006 - A lot of infighting. Not too late to ditch 124 00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:16,003 Amy and team up with this pussycat burglar. 125 00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,018 - Please, Boyle, your only value was 126 00:04:17,018 --> 00:04:19,013 you had a doppelganger which no longer matters 127 00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,007 since Bill died in that accident. 128 00:04:21,007 --> 00:04:22,015 - RIP, Bill. - So sad. 129 00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:24,015 - I can still be useful without Bill! 130 00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:26,011 No hole's too tight for these tiny tips. 131 00:04:26,011 --> 00:04:28,015 [groaning] For stealing stuff! 132 00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:30,011 - [sighs] - Well, fine. 133 00:04:30,011 --> 00:04:32,003 Looks like I'll just team up with my friend Rosa. 134 00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:33,019 - I'm out. Five heists was enough. 135 00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,009 We've exhausted every possibility of this thing. 136 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,022 Literally nothing new can happen. 137 00:04:36,022 --> 00:04:38,011 It's boring. 138 00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,015 You can have a long lunch with me instead. 139 00:04:39,015 --> 00:04:41,011 - Ooh, lunch? The devil's breakfast. 140 00:04:41,011 --> 00:04:42,022 - Well, forget it. - Okay, I won't call it that! 141 00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:44,013 I just want to be included in something! 142 00:04:44,013 --> 00:04:47,003 - Okay, that whole lunch thing was clearly a ploy. 143 00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,011 But even still, I'm not worried about losing to Boyle. 144 00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:51,004 - No one is. He's a joke. 145 00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:52,016 All right, let's get this thing going. 146 00:04:52,016 --> 00:04:54,016 Scully will be locked in the supply closet 147 00:04:54,016 --> 00:04:56,019 with his bracelet. - Can I lie down on the floor? 148 00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:58,007 - Uh, yeah. You can do whatever you want. 149 00:04:58,007 --> 00:04:59,022 And you're already on the ground. 150 00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:01,015 With Hitchcock. And you both have pillows. 151 00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:03,022 - Best day ever! 152 00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:05,020 - There. Now they're locked in. 153 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:07,008 Arrange your affairs. 154 00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,022 The heist begins in five minutes. 155 00:05:08,022 --> 00:05:10,016 - Five minutes? But this whole thing was so last second! 156 00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,012 I don't even have any plans or supplies! 157 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,020 I have so many plans and supplies. 158 00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:15,008 I even have a victory banner 159 00:05:15,008 --> 00:05:16,016 that unfurls with a voice command. 160 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,007 I can't say what, but it's so cool. 161 00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:20,006 - I thought this was a spur-of-the-moment fun way 162 00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:22,008 to distract me from freaking out about my exam! 163 00:05:22,008 --> 00:05:23,020 - Well, it wasn't exactly hard to predict, Sarge. 164 00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:26,004 Your catchphrase is "Terry hates tests." 165 00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:27,019 - It's true. Terry hates tests! 166 00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:29,006 - But the point is, I planned everything, 167 00:05:29,006 --> 00:05:30,018 starting with Scully's bracelet. 168 00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:32,008 It had to be the prize because I have prepared 169 00:05:32,008 --> 00:05:33,017 the greatest reveal in heist history. 170 00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:36,012 Allow me to introduce you to... 171 00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,016 Other Scully. 172 00:05:39,013 --> 00:05:41,019 - Hi, I'm Earl, Norm's twin brother. 173 00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:43,007 - [mimicking explosion] - Why's Scully never mentioned 174 00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:45,000 he had a twin before? 175 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,017 - Because no one talks about their siblings with coworkers. 176 00:05:46,017 --> 00:05:48,009 - I've told you about my brother Lawrence. 177 00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:49,012 - Nope, and I don't want to learn about him 178 00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:50,019 and I already forgot his name. 179 00:05:50,019 --> 00:05:52,009 Now let's go. It's time to heist! 180 00:05:52,009 --> 00:05:54,013 - No movement yet. So here's our plan. 181 00:05:54,013 --> 00:05:57,015 After watching everyone coo over your maudlin proposal, 182 00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:59,013 I've decided we should employ a similar diversion. 183 00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:01,000 - Smart, I'm in. - You will tell Jake 184 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,009 you are pregnant with his child. 185 00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:03,017 - What? I'm not pregnant. 186 00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:05,005 - Here is a positive pregnancy test 187 00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,013 and a sonogram of your fetus. 188 00:06:06,013 --> 00:06:08,012 Congratulations. It's a girl. 189 00:06:08,012 --> 00:06:10,005 - Feels a little mean to play with Jake's feelings 190 00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:11,013 like that, sir. - You're right, it is mean. 191 00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:12,019 Too bad. 192 00:06:12,019 --> 00:06:14,017 As your mentor, I command you to do it. 193 00:06:14,017 --> 00:06:16,014 - Wow, okay. 194 00:06:16,014 --> 00:06:19,001 Perhaps we should discuss some other options. 195 00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,010 - There's no time, look. 196 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,001 Peralta's going for the bracelet! 197 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,018 - How'd he get him free so quickly? 198 00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:25,001 - See ya later, losers! 199 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:26,010 - Not so fast! 200 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,000 [taser crackling] - [grunting] 201 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,010 What the hell was that? 202 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,022 - That Fitbit I gave you at Christmas? 203 00:06:31,022 --> 00:06:33,014 I modified it into a taser. 204 00:06:33,014 --> 00:06:35,012 - What? Do you even want me to get into shape? 205 00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,006 -Yeah, but not as much as I want to win. 206 00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:38,014 Buzz buzz, bitch. 207 00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,022 - I've got Scully. Come on, let's go. 208 00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:42,010 [taser crackling] - [muffled shout] 209 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:46,016 No! Nooo! 210 00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:48,002 - Yes. 211 00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,016 - Fake heist went perfectly. 212 00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,002 - So did the real heist. 213 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,018 - Why is your face twitching like that? 214 00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:55,013 - Oh, Amy tased me a bunch. I bit my own tongue. 215 00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,010 It was awesome. Was it hard to get through the door? 216 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,023 - No. I'm strong as hell. 217 00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:00,023 The hard part was getting this bracelet off Scully's wrist. 218 00:07:00,023 --> 00:07:03,017 How can you even feel your hand with this thing so tight? 219 00:07:03,017 --> 00:07:04,019 - You're supposed to feel your hand? 220 00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:06,009 - Well, that's terrifying. 221 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,018 Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to hide 222 00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:09,011 the old bracelet and win me this heist. 223 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,019 - Don't you mean win us this heist? 224 00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:13,000 - Oh, Terrence, unfortunately I do not. 225 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,001 - What the hell? 226 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,011 - Sorry, Sarge. 227 00:07:17,011 --> 00:07:18,019 It had to be this way. - Why? 228 00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,001 - The banner only has my name on it. 229 00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:21,010 It's really all about the banner. 230 00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,019 It unfurls by a voice command. 231 00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:24,011 But I promise that I will mention 232 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,015 both you and Earl Scully in my victory speech. 233 00:07:26,015 --> 00:07:27,023 - Wait, Earl's here? 234 00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:29,001 - Yeah. He helped us with the heist. 235 00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,015 - I told that son of a bitch 236 00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:32,019 never to show his face in New York again! 237 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,001 - Why are you running towards the glass? 238 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,017 [glass shatters] 239 00:07:36,017 --> 00:07:39,008 - You're a dead man, Earl! 240 00:07:39,008 --> 00:07:40,010 - That's not great. 241 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,018 - You're a dead man, Jake! 242 00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:42,020 - Uh, that's much worse. 243 00:07:47,006 --> 00:07:47,015 . 244 00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,008 - Squirt more lube 245 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:48,008 and help me yank. 246 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,004 - Ugh, you know that fun braggy recap 247 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,012 we do at the end of each win? 248 00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,012 Can we leave this part out? 249 00:07:53,012 --> 00:07:54,016 - [grunts] Yes. 250 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,020 We'll make up a cooler thing. 251 00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,016 But for now, we lube and yank. 252 00:07:57,016 --> 00:08:00,003 Wrap your legs around him to anchor yourself. 253 00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,012 - Yep. Here we go. 254 00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:03,023 [grunting, screaming] 255 00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,014 - Earl? Earl! 256 00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:07,020 - Norm? 257 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,012 Norm? - What the-- 258 00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:10,016 - I'm so happy your friend invited me to-- 259 00:08:10,016 --> 00:08:11,019 - I told you what would happen 260 00:08:11,019 --> 00:08:13,010 if I ever saw you again, Earl. 261 00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,012 - What is going on? What am I looking at? 262 00:08:15,012 --> 00:08:17,010 - Scully has a twin brother named Earl. 263 00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:18,022 Jake brought him here to trick you. 264 00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:20,013 - Thank you for the ride, Terrence. 265 00:08:20,013 --> 00:08:22,011 Apparently they don't get along very well. 266 00:08:22,011 --> 00:08:24,001 - We did get along. We were inseparable, 267 00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:25,017 until Earl slept with my wife. 268 00:08:25,017 --> 00:08:27,004 - It's not my fault she wanted 269 00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:28,021 to have sex with a stud instead of a dud. 270 00:08:28,021 --> 00:08:31,003 - Stud? Your face looks it's been kicked in by a horse! 271 00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,017 - Well, your mouth looks like a butthole! 272 00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:34,005 - Your whole body looks like a butthole. 273 00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:35,011 - And you look identical. 274 00:08:35,011 --> 00:08:37,001 - [grunting] 275 00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:38,016 - [gurgling] 276 00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:39,023 - Should we help Scully? 277 00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:41,003 - I'm not touching this. 278 00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,021 [grunting] 279 00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:46,015 - [screams] 280 00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:48,005 - There's nowhere to run, Earl! 281 00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:50,019 - Well, that was a real mind eff. 282 00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,013 Good-bye. - Just so you know, 283 00:08:52,013 --> 00:08:54,001 Jake has the bracelet in his pocket. 284 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,013 - Why would you tell them that? We're a team! 285 00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,017 - You locked me up. 286 00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:58,001 - Yeah, but they didn't know that! 287 00:08:58,001 --> 00:08:59,015 - There's no bracelet in his pocket! 288 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:02,001 - What? There should be. 289 00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,002 Where'd it go? 290 00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,002 - Shalom, partner. - Dope. 291 00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:07,018 - And you thought Shlomo Ben-Yisrael 292 00:09:07,018 --> 00:09:09,000 wouldn't come through. 293 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,021 - No, I said the name and the costume 294 00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,022 were offensive, bordering on actionable. 295 00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:15,004 - Well, it worked. Jake brought in Scully's twin 296 00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,014 just like I planned when I connected them on Facebook, 297 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,002 but he had no idea they hated each other. 298 00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,021 And when everyone was fighting, 299 00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:22,022 they were too distracted to notice old Shlomo. 300 00:09:22,022 --> 00:09:25,002 They all underestimated me, Rosa, but today, 301 00:09:25,002 --> 00:09:28,004 they will learn the error of their ways, for today, 302 00:09:28,004 --> 00:09:31,002 I will prove that nobody gets the best of Charles Boyle. 303 00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:32,018 - I doused your beard in chloroform. 304 00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:36,006 - Really? I find that very hard to beli-- 305 00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:39,006 [triumphant music] 306 00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:44,018 - Where's this goin'? - All the way to Trenton. 307 00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,005 Take your time. 308 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,015 - Aah, perfect. 309 00:09:48,015 --> 00:09:50,003 - What? What happened? You know where the bracelet is? 310 00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,003 - No. Kevin has arrived with proof that I am 311 00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,021 the only two-time winner of the heist. 312 00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:55,005 - Here's your cummerbund, Raymond. 313 00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:56,023 - We don't have time for this, sir! 314 00:09:56,023 --> 00:09:58,007 I'm gonna go search the first floor. 315 00:09:58,007 --> 00:09:59,023 - And I will search the second floor. 316 00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:03,003 We are an inseparable team. 317 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,007 That was a devious fib. 318 00:10:04,007 --> 00:10:07,002 I'm betraying her even as we speak. 319 00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,015 - Hey, Kev. - Diaz and I are covertly 320 00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:12,007 working together. She snuck up through the vents. 321 00:10:12,007 --> 00:10:13,023 This is a major reveal. 322 00:10:13,023 --> 00:10:15,021 I feel like you're not appreciating it. 323 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,015 - I don't like these heists, or what they bring out in you. 324 00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:19,019 - Oh, clam it, Kevin. - "Clam it"? 325 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,019 Cheddar, perhaps we should leave. 326 00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,003 - No, Cheddar stays. 327 00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,023 He still has an important role to play. 328 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,003 Give me Mr. Hootsworth. 329 00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:29,004 No one would ever think of looking for the bracelet 330 00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,004 in Cheddar's favorite chew toy. 331 00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:34,003 - Or do you mean Jake's favorite chew toy? 332 00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:35,018 [chuckles] 333 00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:39,000 Well, thank God no one was around to hear that. 334 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,020 Ah! There you are. I've been looking all over. 335 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:44,002 Woah. That's a lot of yolks. Are you stress eating again 336 00:10:44,002 --> 00:10:45,020 or is this just a small Terry snack? 337 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,002 - I'm stress eating, Jake! 338 00:10:47,002 --> 00:10:48,007 My snack yolks are in that bowl. 339 00:10:48,007 --> 00:10:49,023 - Oh. Well, stop eating eggs 340 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,004 and come help me with the heist! 341 00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:52,016 - I'm not helping you. - Why not? 342 00:10:52,016 --> 00:10:54,004 Ugh, is this because I once betrayed you? 343 00:10:54,004 --> 00:10:56,000 - Yes! It was our last interaction. 344 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,004 - And it was a huge mistake 345 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,019 and I now realize that our friendship 346 00:10:58,019 --> 00:11:00,008 is way more important than any stupid banner. 347 00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:03,002 Look, the bracelet is in Cheddar's chew toy. 348 00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:04,022 I know because I bugged Holt's cummerbund. 349 00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:06,020 - You did? - Yes! I figured he would 350 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,008 bring it in to show off. Now let's do this! 351 00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:10,001 - I don't know. 352 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,005 - Look, Sarge, I'm sorry, okay? 353 00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:13,001 I can't undo the past, but come on. 354 00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,017 Would you rather win the heist with me or sit 355 00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:17,001 around swallowing eggs like Birdo from "Super Mario 2"? 356 00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,003 - Birdo doesn't eat eggs. Birdo spits them! 357 00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:20,021 - Oh, my God, you got that reference, Terry? 358 00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:24,017 We're the perfect team! Come on, Sarge, please? 359 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,005 - Fine, I'll help. - Ah! Wonderful. 360 00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:27,012 But, before you fully commit, 361 00:11:27,012 --> 00:11:29,007 I should probably give you the heads-up. 362 00:11:29,007 --> 00:11:31,017 My plan is very elaborate and you might get a little messy. 363 00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:33,021 - I'm in. It's the heist, baby! 364 00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,011 Now let me know how we get that chew toy. 365 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:37,001 - All right! Okay. 366 00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:38,009 First, I infiltrate Holt's office and continue 367 00:11:38,009 --> 00:11:40,007 our argument about who won last year's heist. 368 00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:43,007 - How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 369 00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:46,003 It's one bund to none, son! Tell him, Kevin. 370 00:11:46,003 --> 00:11:47,003 - I'm leaving. 371 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:48,013 - It doesn't matter-- 372 00:11:48,013 --> 00:11:50,002 - As Holt argues with me I will be covertly 373 00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,004 releasing more water into Cheddar's bowl. 374 00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,005 Then we sit back and wait for... 375 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,000 [Cheddar whimpers] - Potty time again? 376 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,010 - What if he takes him downstairs? 377 00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:59,004 - He won't. I spent a lot of time 378 00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:01,002 making clandestine searches on Holt's computer. 379 00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:04,000 Now all of his targeted ads direct him straight to... 380 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,005 - The Puppy PeePee Pad. Intriguing. 381 00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:07,020 - He bought one and put it out 382 00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,006 on the roof next to Gina's golden statue. 383 00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:11,006 And, because he believes that Cheddar deserves 384 00:12:11,006 --> 00:12:13,009 to pee in privacy like any other self-respecting adult, 385 00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,018 he will leave Cheddar outside alone to do his business. 386 00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:18,020 - Notify me when you're done, via bark. 387 00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,009 - While Holt guards the door, 388 00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:22,022 you'll be swapping out Mr. Hootsworth for this. 389 00:12:22,022 --> 00:12:24,013 - That all sounds great, 390 00:12:24,013 --> 00:12:26,002 but how do I get onto the roof without Holt noticing? 391 00:12:26,002 --> 00:12:28,001 - Oh, Sarge. You'll already be out there... 392 00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,022 In a perfect golden disguise. 393 00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:34,002 - The plan worked! I got it! 394 00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:35,023 - Oh my God, you look like an Oscar. Ooh! 395 00:12:35,023 --> 00:12:37,009 We should take a picture where it looks like I'm holding you. 396 00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:38,019 - Jake. -You're right. 397 00:12:38,019 --> 00:12:40,006 There's no time. We'll do it later. 398 00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:41,007 - No, we won't! Help me get this paint off! 399 00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:42,021 - Okay, put your hands out and 400 00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:44,001 I'll squirt you with a little makeup remover. 401 00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,002 Hi-ya! 402 00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:46,006 - No! 403 00:12:46,006 --> 00:12:48,009 You're betraying me again? Why? 404 00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:50,006 - Because of the banner! 405 00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:51,019 - But I thought you said our friendship was more important! 406 00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:53,007 - Yeah, that was obviously a lie. 407 00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:54,011 The banner was very expensive! 408 00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,011 I don't have a lot of money, Sarge. 409 00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:58,014 All right, bye. 410 00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,014 Don't make a lot of noise. 411 00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:04,006 . 412 00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:05,004 - Howdy. I just got back 413 00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:05,004 from lunch with Charles, 414 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,002 who is not here. I am real glad 415 00:13:08,002 --> 00:13:09,019 I skipped the heist. Say, who is winning? 416 00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:10,023 - I don't know, but I know that I am not winning. 417 00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,004 - Interesting, it is also not me. 418 00:13:13,004 --> 00:13:14,004 - Uh, why are you guys acting so weird? 419 00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:15,023 - Gah, weird? 420 00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:18,000 Would a person who is acting weird laugh like this? 421 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,012 A huh-huh huh-ha, carefree! 422 00:13:19,012 --> 00:13:21,007 - Yes. - Jake! 423 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:23,008 - Oh, Terry, you ripped yourself free. 424 00:13:23,008 --> 00:13:25,003 - Yeah, maybe you should try cuffing me 425 00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,020 to a stronger metal next time. 426 00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:28,000 - Yeah, I don't know the relative strength of metals. 427 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,007 - What's going on? 428 00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:30,020 Why does Terry look like an Oscar? 429 00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,012 - Doesn't he? - He has the bracelet! 430 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,000 We grabbed Mr. Hootsworth 431 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,011 from Cheddar and swapped it for a fake! 432 00:13:35,011 --> 00:13:38,002 - Wow, Terry, my betrayals were all in good fun, 433 00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,008 but this really hurts. 434 00:13:39,008 --> 00:13:41,015 - Cheddar, bring me Mr. Hootsworth. 435 00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:45,000 It's an updated model. 436 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,015 The bowtie is Turkish blue instead of Egyptian blue. 437 00:13:47,015 --> 00:13:49,003 How could you not have noticed this? 438 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,002 - Because he's a dog. 439 00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:55,007 And at the end of the day a dog is no match for Jake Peralta. 440 00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:57,001 - Well yours is a fake, too. Turkish blue bowtie. 441 00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,008 - Oh, come on! The one time 442 00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,021 I say out loud I'm smarter than a dog? 443 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,001 - If I have a fake and you have a fake, 444 00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,015 who took the real bracelet? 445 00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,009 - I did. - Kevin? 446 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,000 - I swapped out Mr. Hootsworth for a fake 447 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,013 while you were arguing with Peralta. 448 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,013 - How many cummerbunds are you holding right now? Zero! 449 00:14:09,013 --> 00:14:11,003 It's one bund to none, son! 450 00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,021 - You betrayed me? But why? 451 00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:15,007 - I can't have more of these trophies in our home. 452 00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:16,012 The cummerbund was already in the living room. 453 00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:18,005 What's next, a rusty medical bracelet 454 00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:19,021 suspended above our bed? 455 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:21,011 - Yes! Now hand it over. 456 00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:22,021 - I don't have it. I gave it to Amy. 457 00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,009 - [gasps] - Santiago. 458 00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:26,011 - You betrayed me as well? - You betrayed me first. 459 00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,001 You were working with Rosa this whole time. 460 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,007 - That wasn't real. 461 00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:30,021 I was always gonna stab her in the back. 462 00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,005 - You were? What kind of person treats 463 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,013 another human being like that? 464 00:14:33,013 --> 00:14:35,002 - You tricked me, Rosa! 465 00:14:35,002 --> 00:14:36,022 And then you shipped me to New Jersey! 466 00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:38,012 - First of all, grow up. Second of all, how'd you 467 00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,014 get back here so fast? 468 00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:41,002 - If you get a box wet enough, 469 00:14:41,002 --> 00:14:42,002 it's very easy to bust out of it. 470 00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:43,012 - No one ask any follow-ups! 471 00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,006 - I knew I couldn't trust you, Rosa. 472 00:14:45,006 --> 00:14:47,001 That's why I was going to double-cross you with Bill. 473 00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:49,002 That's right, he didn't really die. 474 00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:51,006 - Hey, guys, you really thought I'd miss this year's heist? 475 00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:52,016 No way, I'm part of the squad. 476 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,006 - No. - Not true. 477 00:14:54,006 --> 00:14:55,013 - Okay, this is official getting hard to track. 478 00:14:55,013 --> 00:14:57,004 Who has the bracelet now? 479 00:14:57,004 --> 00:14:58,014 - Santiago. 480 00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,016 - Yeah! And none of you are getting it! 481 00:14:59,016 --> 00:15:01,000 - We'll see about that. 482 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,014 [taser crackling] - [groans] 483 00:15:02,014 --> 00:15:04,002 What the hell? 484 00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:05,010 - Remember that very fancy Swiss pen I got you 485 00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:06,022 for Christmas, the one that you keep in 486 00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:09,010 your pocket at all times? It's a taser, bro. 487 00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,006 [beeping] - Uuugh! 488 00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:13,006 I'll take that. Amy, do not make me tase you again. 489 00:15:13,006 --> 00:15:15,005 - No, no, no, no, don't! I'm pregnant! 490 00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:17,002 - What? - I just found out. 491 00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,015 It's a girl. - Oh, my God! 492 00:15:18,015 --> 00:15:20,014 - Oh my God, it's happening! 493 00:15:20,014 --> 00:15:22,010 Quick, someone get a reaction video of me becoming an uncle! 494 00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,023 - She's making it up. The pregnancy scam was my idea. 495 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,015 - No. No, no, no, no, Amy. 496 00:15:26,015 --> 00:15:28,017 Wait, is that true? Did you just lie to me about our baby? 497 00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:30,007 - Yeah, did you lie to us about our baby? 498 00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:32,007 - You tased me! - You tased me first! 499 00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:33,014 - Enough! Terry's had enough of this. 500 00:15:33,014 --> 00:15:36,001 This was supposed to be 501 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,007 just a fun game but it's turned you all into terrible people. 502 00:15:39,007 --> 00:15:42,001 Betraying your husband, putting your friend in the mail. 503 00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:44,014 Jake and Amy, did you guys buy each other any gifts 504 00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:46,007 this year that weren't tasers? 505 00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:47,015 - No. - No. 506 00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:49,014 - You all pretended that this was all about 507 00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:53,003 helping me with my test. But none of you cared one bit! 508 00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:55,013 You know what? You all suck! 509 00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:57,003 [beeping] 510 00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:59,004 - Oh no, my voice command. Terry, look out! 511 00:15:59,004 --> 00:16:01,002 - [groans] 512 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,012 - Okay. I know that was bad, but let's not jump to 513 00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:06,000 any conclusions about whose fault it was. 514 00:16:13,008 --> 00:16:16,004 - Wow, what a fun improvised song. 515 00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:21,016 - His eyes aren't focusing and he hasn't referred to himself 516 00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:24,016 in the third person in minutes. He's clearly concussed. 517 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,006 - Guys, this is bad. 518 00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:28,000 The Lieutenant's exam is in 30 minutes. 519 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,007 - Okay, look, let's just get him to One Police Plaza 520 00:16:30,007 --> 00:16:31,016 and hopefully he'll wake up on the way. 521 00:16:31,016 --> 00:16:33,014 Charles, help me pick him up. - Copy that. 522 00:16:33,014 --> 00:16:35,016 He's too heavy. We can't do this. 523 00:16:35,016 --> 00:16:37,012 - God! How does he lift weights and also lift his arms? 524 00:16:37,012 --> 00:16:39,006 This is impossible. We'll never get him there. 525 00:16:39,006 --> 00:16:40,016 - So you guys need help moving a body? 526 00:16:40,016 --> 00:16:42,005 Thank God old Bill's part of the squad. 527 00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:45,016 I mean, assuming, I am part of the squad. 528 00:16:47,009 --> 00:16:48,019 - Yes, sure. - Totally. 529 00:16:48,019 --> 00:16:51,015 - Oh, yes, finally. I have somewhere to live. 530 00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:53,009 - What? - Meet me in the alley next to 531 00:16:53,009 --> 00:16:54,013 my shopping cart. It's the one with all the cans. 532 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,001 - Seems like his plan is 533 00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,005 just to put Terry in the shopping cart. 534 00:16:57,005 --> 00:16:58,009 - Correct. We'll take it! 535 00:16:58,009 --> 00:17:01,009 [driving mariachi music] 536 00:17:04,017 --> 00:17:06,009 - Room 410 is this way! 537 00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:08,007 Okay, we got him here with one minute to spare. 538 00:17:08,007 --> 00:17:10,001 - Yes! I knew we could make it. All right, Sarge. 539 00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,013 You ready to go in there and ace this thing? 540 00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:13,013 - Yeah, I can't believe it, I'm gonna be a pilot! 541 00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:15,007 - Okay, well, that's not great. - There's no way he can take 542 00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:16,017 the test in that condition! 543 00:17:16,017 --> 00:17:18,005 - You're right. Amy, you're going to have to 544 00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:19,017 crawl inside his shirt and operate 545 00:17:19,017 --> 00:17:21,005 his arms for him. It's a Ratatouille situation. 546 00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:22,020 - On it. - No. It's over. We have to go 547 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:24,010 in there and tell them that he won't be making it. 548 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,002 - So that's it then. 549 00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:27,010 Rosa, you should probably go in first since 550 00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,018 this is mostly your fault. - Dude. 551 00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,009 - All right, fine, I'll do it, jeez. 552 00:17:32,014 --> 00:17:36,010 - Wait. Where is everyone? Where are all the desks? 553 00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,012 - What is happening? 554 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,010 What's happening is... 555 00:17:41,002 --> 00:17:42,018 You all suck! [beeping] 556 00:17:53,018 --> 00:17:55,009 - Son of a bitch stole my song. 557 00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,004 . 558 00:17:59,007 --> 00:17:59,020 - Wait, Terry has the bracelet? 559 00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:04,009 - That's right. Me and my teammate Terry won. 560 00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:06,013 We fooled you all. 561 00:18:06,013 --> 00:18:08,019 - You didn't do [bleep]! - Okay, well, neither did 562 00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:10,015 Jordan's teammates, but they still got rings. 563 00:18:10,015 --> 00:18:12,019 All right, fine. Just tell us how you did it. 564 00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:15,010 - Well, first, for my plan to work, it had to happen 565 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,015 on a day when I could control everything. 566 00:18:17,015 --> 00:18:18,015 I couldn't let it be Halloween. 567 00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:20,013 - You faked the gas explosion! 568 00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:22,015 - Yeah, stupid actors almost blew it. 569 00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:24,007 - What was with that moaning, Trent? 570 00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:26,011 I thought you studied at the Lee Strasberg Institute! 571 00:18:26,011 --> 00:18:28,007 - It doesn't mean anything. They just take your money! 572 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,015 - Oh, that is a huge relief. I felt so bad about poking 573 00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,007 that guy's wound to make sure it was real. 574 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,019 - You should still feel bad about that. 575 00:18:33,019 --> 00:18:35,005 - No, it was all fake. I'm totally absolved. 576 00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,019 Continue with your story, Sarge. 577 00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,022 - I knew you'd suggest a heist as a distraction from 578 00:18:38,022 --> 00:18:41,019 my Lieutenant exam, then all I had to do was sit back 579 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:44,013 and watch as everyone took things way too far. 580 00:18:44,013 --> 00:18:46,012 - But how'd you know we'd get so out of hand? 581 00:18:46,012 --> 00:18:49,012 - I spent the last six months sowing the seeds of conflict. 582 00:18:49,012 --> 00:18:51,023 - Man, I am so sick of Jake saying he is the only 583 00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:53,019 two-time Halloween heist winner. 584 00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:56,015 both: I'm the only two-time Halloween heist winner. 585 00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:58,000 - I can't believe everyone says you're 586 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,018 not helpful during the Halloween heist. 587 00:18:59,018 --> 00:19:02,009 Just because they all think your fingers are too big. 588 00:19:03,004 --> 00:19:04,016 - We'll show them. 589 00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:06,015 - Thanks for inviting me over for dinner. 590 00:19:06,015 --> 00:19:09,004 Boy, that's hung in a real prominent place, isn't it? 591 00:19:09,004 --> 00:19:11,010 - Not for long. I was manipulated? 592 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,008 - Sorry, Kevin. - Don't apologize to him, 593 00:19:13,008 --> 00:19:14,012 Terry. It's his first heist. 594 00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:16,008 He needs to learn. Keep going. 595 00:19:16,008 --> 00:19:18,020 - Well, after I got everyone acting like maniacs, all I had 596 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:21,020 to do was make you feel bad by "knocking myself out." 597 00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,008 - The banner. 598 00:19:23,008 --> 00:19:24,020 But how did you learn my voice command? 599 00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:27,021 - I didn't have to. I sold you the damn thing! 600 00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:29,015 - No. 601 00:19:29,015 --> 00:19:31,012 I want it to unfurl when I say, "You all suck." 602 00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:32,015 [through voice distortion app] - Absolutely. 603 00:19:32,015 --> 00:19:33,019 Pleasure doing business with you. 604 00:19:33,019 --> 00:19:36,005 - The pleasure was all mine. 605 00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:37,013 [click] 606 00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:38,017 That's gonna work. 607 00:19:38,017 --> 00:19:40,017 I spent $1,800 on that thing! 608 00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:42,021 - You did? - Amy, stop interrupting. 609 00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:44,012 Terry's doing his big speech. 610 00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:46,017 - Anyway, once my fake concussion was 611 00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:49,013 on display, I created the perfect distraction 612 00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:52,007 for my partner to do his job. 613 00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:56,013 - Cheddar, you duplicitous bitch. 614 00:19:56,013 --> 00:19:58,009 - I've been training Cheddar for months. 615 00:19:58,009 --> 00:20:00,021 - Wow, what a fun improvised song! 616 00:20:00,021 --> 00:20:02,009 - When I swapped the Hootsworths, 617 00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:04,001 I put a magnetic collar on him! 618 00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:06,021 From there, Cheddar followed us all the way 619 00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:09,022 to One Police Plaza, where he hand-delivered 620 00:20:09,022 --> 00:20:12,010 the bracelet to me right outside this room. 621 00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,009 - But, wait, what about the Lieutenant's exam? 622 00:20:14,009 --> 00:20:15,018 Aren't you supposed to be taking it right now? 623 00:20:15,018 --> 00:20:17,017 - Hell no, I took that thing weeks ago. 624 00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,018 And I passed! I'm already a lieutenant! 625 00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,008 - You are? - That's incredible! 626 00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:22,022 - Lieutenant Jeffords! - This is amazing. 627 00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:25,018 - I'm so proud of you, Terry. 628 00:20:25,018 --> 00:20:27,010 - All right. You've overstepped now, Bill. 629 00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:29,010 - Yeah, it's weird you're here, Bill. 630 00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:31,014 - To Terry Jeffords, the ultimate human being 631 00:20:31,014 --> 00:20:34,008 slash genius. Nice work...Lieutenant. 632 00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:36,018 all: Yeah! - Thanks, squad! 633 00:20:36,018 --> 00:20:38,010 - Also the next heist will be at Halloween, 634 00:20:38,010 --> 00:20:40,002 so you'll only be champion for six months. 635 00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:42,010 This is half a win at best. - Sounds about right, yeah. 636 00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,022 - Yeah. - Pretty garbage. 637 00:20:43,022 --> 00:20:46,002 - Hey, Scully, so you and Earl made up? 638 00:20:46,002 --> 00:20:48,002 - Yup. Hitchcock helped us realize 639 00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:49,018 we shouldn't fight just because we're so different. 640 00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:51,018 - Yeah. To our differences! [mugs clink] 641 00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:54,021 [together] Oh, dang it! 642 00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:56,003 [simultaneous farts] 643 00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:57,011 [together] Ooh, double dang it. 644 00:20:57,011 --> 00:20:59,019 - What? - Oh, my God. 645 00:20:59,019 --> 00:21:01,019 - Terry, what you did today was awesome 646 00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:04,022 and I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I took things too far. 647 00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,001 - Are you kidding me? 648 00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,009 I was just guilting you as a tactic. 649 00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,019 I love how crazy the heist gets. 650 00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,017 - Okay, good, 'cause what I really wanted to say 651 00:21:10,017 --> 00:21:13,001 is next heist I'm gonna drown you in your own blood. 652 00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:14,014 - Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm gonna rip your arms off 653 00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:15,014 and beat you to death with 'em. 654 00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:17,002 - Oh! 655 00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:18,019 - I'm going to slice your Achilles' tendons, peel off 656 00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,011 your fingernails, and stick knitting needles in your eyes. 657 00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:21,011 both: Oh, damn. 658 00:21:21,011 --> 00:21:22,013 - Raymond, you were right. 659 00:21:22,013 --> 00:21:23,019 These heists are fun. 660 00:21:23,019 --> 00:21:25,019 - Fremulon. 661 00:21:25,019 --> 00:21:27,019 - Not a doctor. Shh. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 53908

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