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1
00:00:05,007 --> 00:00:06,003
- Hey, hey hey!
2
00:00:05,015 --> 00:00:06,003
It's the best day of the year.
3
00:00:07,009 --> 00:00:10,001
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
4
00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:11,007
- I don't think you're allowed
5
00:00:11,007 --> 00:00:12,008
to wear a poncho
to work, Hitchcock.
6
00:00:12,008 --> 00:00:13,023
- Let's fiesta!
7
00:00:13,023 --> 00:00:15,013
[band playing
"The Mexican Hat Song"]
8
00:00:15,013 --> 00:00:16,021
- Oh, you got a band.
9
00:00:19,003 --> 00:00:21,009
- Stop, stop!
No trumpets!
10
00:00:21,009 --> 00:00:23,005
Not today!
My head is killing me!
11
00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:25,003
- Hit the tequila
a little early, huh?
12
00:00:25,003 --> 00:00:27,007
- I'm not hung over, Hitchcock.
I've got a tension headache.
13
00:00:27,007 --> 00:00:28,013
I've got
the Lieutenant's exam tonight.
14
00:00:28,013 --> 00:00:30,007
I'm stress-eating like crazy.
15
00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:32,013
I had ten hard-boiled
egg yolks this morning.
16
00:00:32,013 --> 00:00:34,005
- Gross.
- You're having a high-grade
17
00:00:34,005 --> 00:00:35,015
pre-test freak out.
18
00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:38,001
I've been there.
March 13, 2001.
19
00:00:38,001 --> 00:00:39,007
AP Calc test--
20
00:00:39,007 --> 00:00:40,015
- Ames, I hate to cut you off,
21
00:00:40,015 --> 00:00:42,010
but we all know where
this story's going.
22
00:00:42,010 --> 00:00:43,014
- Oh, yeah? You know
that I crapped my pants
23
00:00:43,014 --> 00:00:45,006
in the middle of the test?
24
00:00:45,006 --> 00:00:46,016
- Oh my God, no, I thought
you were just gonna say
25
00:00:46,016 --> 00:00:47,022
you got a B+ or something.
26
00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:49,022
- More like a BM.
- Noice.
27
00:00:49,022 --> 00:00:52,014
- Come on, now Terry's worried
about his test and his bowels!
28
00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:54,008
- What you need, Sergeant, is
to distract yourself.
29
00:00:54,008 --> 00:00:57,001
NPR has a riveting
six hour interview
30
00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:58,010
with Eileen Moon Myers.
31
00:00:58,010 --> 00:01:00,004
- Nobody knows who that is.
32
00:01:00,004 --> 00:01:01,017
- Nobody knows the Associate
Principal Cellist in the
33
00:01:01,017 --> 00:01:03,014
New York Philharmonic?
[snorts] Okay.
34
00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:06,005
- Wait! I've got it!
I know how to distract Terry.
35
00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,006
Captain, remember how you
cancelled the last Halloween
36
00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:10,014
heist because there was that
emergency gas line explosion
37
00:01:10,014 --> 00:01:12,005
and you said we had
to "help out"?
38
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,016
- Yes,
I also remember you
39
00:01:13,016 --> 00:01:15,014
refusing to believe
the explosion was real.
40
00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:17,008
- Go back to acting school,
buddy.
41
00:01:17,008 --> 00:01:19,009
You're way overselling
the pain here.
42
00:01:19,009 --> 00:01:20,014
No one's buying it!
43
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:22,002
Well, it's not like I
was the only
44
00:01:22,002 --> 00:01:23,013
one who thought
it was fake.
45
00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:26,012
- And the Oscar goes to...
Trent!
46
00:01:28,003 --> 00:01:30,007
- You said that we should
reschedule the heist for
47
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:34,005
another day, so why not today?
To help distract Terry?
48
00:01:34,005 --> 00:01:36,005
- Yes! And I would love to
defend my crown after I
49
00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:37,015
destroyed you all last year.
50
00:01:37,015 --> 00:01:40,015
- Well, I mean, the proposal
was all part of my plan.
51
00:01:40,015 --> 00:01:42,018
- All I remember is you
bowing to me on your knees.
52
00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,010
- Yeah, I was asking you
to marry me.
53
00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,018
- Well, you look like a fool.
54
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:47,015
- Neither of you won
because Jake swapped out
55
00:01:47,015 --> 00:01:49,010
the real championship
cummerbund--
56
00:01:49,010 --> 00:01:50,011
- Belt.
57
00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:52,007
- For the treacly proposal one.
58
00:01:52,007 --> 00:01:53,014
- What? I thought
everyone loved that
59
00:01:53,014 --> 00:01:55,007
I used the heist
to do the proposal.
60
00:01:55,007 --> 00:01:56,023
- You are wrong--everyone hated
it--but it helped me win.
61
00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:59,002
During your engagement
celebration, I snuck back
62
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:00,015
and found the
original cummerbund.
63
00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:02,003
- Belt.
64
00:02:02,003 --> 00:02:03,017
- It's hanging up in
my living room at home.
65
00:02:03,017 --> 00:02:05,016
- I never thought I'd say
this, but enough foreplay!
66
00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:06,016
Are we heisting or not?
67
00:02:06,016 --> 00:02:08,012
- Yes!
- Of course!
68
00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,010
- Wait, I will only do this
under one condition.
69
00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:13,010
Sergeant Jeffords agrees that
this will help his nerves.
70
00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:16,010
-Yeah, I mean, I would like to
take my mind off the test.
71
00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,006
And maybe I'll win this year!
72
00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:20,000
- Ah, the heist
is already working.
73
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,018
Sergeant Jeffords has
recovered his sense of humor.
74
00:02:21,018 --> 00:02:23,003
[laughter]
- Hey!
75
00:02:23,003 --> 00:02:24,008
- All right,
but for real, though.
76
00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:25,010
Are we doing this?
77
00:02:25,010 --> 00:02:26,010
-We're doing this!
- Heist!
78
00:02:26,010 --> 00:02:27,012
- Heist!
- Heist!
79
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:29,012
- It's a Cinco de Mayo heist!
80
00:02:29,012 --> 00:02:31,008
- A Cinco de Mayo heist
81
00:02:31,008 --> 00:02:32,011
makes just as much sense
as Halloween!
82
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:33,011
Let's do it!
83
00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:36,011
[upbeat music]
84
00:02:53,012 --> 00:02:55,005
- Welcome one and all
85
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:59,012
to the first ever Cinco de Mayo
Halloween Heist 6!
86
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,004
We're still working
on the title.
87
00:03:01,004 --> 00:03:02,013
- No need, I love it!
- Thank you, Charles.
88
00:03:02,013 --> 00:03:04,011
Now, before we go any further,
89
00:03:04,011 --> 00:03:06,001
we should probably choose
an item to steal.
90
00:03:06,001 --> 00:03:07,012
Does anyone have
anything valuable on them?
91
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,005
Maybe some jewelry?
92
00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:11,011
- I have a medical alert
bracelet that tells people
93
00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:14,007
my name and address, in
case I have a brain collapse.
94
00:03:14,007 --> 00:03:16,004
- Perfect, this year's champion
will be whoever's in possession
95
00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:18,019
of Scully's very upsetting
bracelet at midnight tonight.
96
00:03:18,019 --> 00:03:20,009
- I take my test at 6:30.
- You know what, Terry?
97
00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:21,017
You're kind of making
this a nightmare.
98
00:03:21,017 --> 00:03:23,012
Maybe you just
shouldn't participate.
99
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:24,016
- So this really isn't about
helping out Sergeant Jeffords?
100
00:03:24,016 --> 00:03:25,019
- What?
- I guess I'm out.
101
00:03:25,019 --> 00:03:27,007
- But--no, no, no, no, come on.
102
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,010
Of course I'm 100%
in support of Terry.
103
00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,018
In fact, I'm going to
team up with him.
104
00:03:30,018 --> 00:03:32,004
- [laughs]
Let's do this!
105
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,018
- You are so easily
manipulated.
106
00:03:33,018 --> 00:03:35,018
Now you're stuck with
Sergeant Dumb Dumb.
107
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,002
-Damn it.
- Hey.
108
00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,010
- Santiago,
shall we join forces?
109
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:42,014
- Ooh, smart, teaming up
with the reigning champ.
110
00:03:42,014 --> 00:03:45,005
- Again with this nonsense?
I'm the reigning champ.
111
00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:47,018
The only thing you won
last heist was a lifetime of
112
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,006
mediocre heterosexual
intercourse with Jake.
113
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:51,014
- [gasps]
How dare you.
114
00:03:51,014 --> 00:03:53,010
No one thinks you won
last year.
115
00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:55,008
- Wow, really thought the "how
dare you" was going to be
116
00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:57,006
linked to his mean
sex comment, but okay.
117
00:03:57,006 --> 00:03:59,002
- Right, sorry.
I'll have you know
118
00:03:59,002 --> 00:04:02,002
Jake and I wear each other out
every single night.
119
00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:04,002
- Good lord, overcompensating.
You know what?
120
00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:05,014
Maybe we just shouldn't
talk about this at work.
121
00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:08,013
- I'm texting Kevin
to bring the cummerbund.
122
00:04:08,013 --> 00:04:11,003
You'll see who the real winner
is, you braggy breeders.
123
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:13,006
- A lot of infighting.
Not too late to ditch
124
00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:16,003
Amy and team up with
this pussycat burglar.
125
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:17,018
- Please, Boyle,
your only value was
126
00:04:17,018 --> 00:04:19,013
you had a doppelganger
which no longer matters
127
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,007
since Bill died in
that accident.
128
00:04:21,007 --> 00:04:22,015
- RIP, Bill.
- So sad.
129
00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:24,015
- I can still be useful
without Bill!
130
00:04:24,015 --> 00:04:26,011
No hole's too tight
for these tiny tips.
131
00:04:26,011 --> 00:04:28,015
[groaning]
For stealing stuff!
132
00:04:28,015 --> 00:04:30,011
- [sighs]
- Well, fine.
133
00:04:30,011 --> 00:04:32,003
Looks like I'll just team up
with my friend Rosa.
134
00:04:32,003 --> 00:04:33,019
- I'm out.
Five heists was enough.
135
00:04:33,019 --> 00:04:35,009
We've exhausted every
possibility of this thing.
136
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:36,022
Literally nothing new
can happen.
137
00:04:36,022 --> 00:04:38,011
It's boring.
138
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,015
You can have a long lunch
with me instead.
139
00:04:39,015 --> 00:04:41,011
- Ooh, lunch?
The devil's breakfast.
140
00:04:41,011 --> 00:04:42,022
- Well, forget it.
- Okay, I won't call it that!
141
00:04:42,022 --> 00:04:44,013
I just want to be
included in something!
142
00:04:44,013 --> 00:04:47,003
- Okay, that whole lunch thing
was clearly a ploy.
143
00:04:47,003 --> 00:04:49,011
But even still, I'm not
worried about losing to Boyle.
144
00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:51,004
- No one is.
He's a joke.
145
00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:52,016
All right, let's
get this thing going.
146
00:04:52,016 --> 00:04:54,016
Scully will be locked
in the supply closet
147
00:04:54,016 --> 00:04:56,019
with his bracelet.
- Can I lie down on the floor?
148
00:04:56,019 --> 00:04:58,007
- Uh, yeah.
You can do whatever you want.
149
00:04:58,007 --> 00:04:59,022
And you're already on the
ground.
150
00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:01,015
With Hitchcock.
And you both have pillows.
151
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:03,022
- Best day ever!
152
00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:05,020
- There.
Now they're locked in.
153
00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:07,008
Arrange your affairs.
154
00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,022
The heist begins
in five minutes.
155
00:05:08,022 --> 00:05:10,016
- Five minutes? But this whole
thing was so last second!
156
00:05:10,016 --> 00:05:12,012
I don't even have
any plans or supplies!
157
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,020
I have so many
plans and supplies.
158
00:05:13,020 --> 00:05:15,008
I even have a victory banner
159
00:05:15,008 --> 00:05:16,016
that unfurls with
a voice command.
160
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,007
I can't say what,
but it's so cool.
161
00:05:18,007 --> 00:05:20,006
- I thought this was
a spur-of-the-moment fun way
162
00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:22,008
to distract me from freaking
out about my exam!
163
00:05:22,008 --> 00:05:23,020
- Well, it wasn't exactly
hard to predict, Sarge.
164
00:05:23,020 --> 00:05:26,004
Your catchphrase is
"Terry hates tests."
165
00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:27,019
- It's true.
Terry hates tests!
166
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:29,006
- But the point is,
I planned everything,
167
00:05:29,006 --> 00:05:30,018
starting with
Scully's bracelet.
168
00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:32,008
It had to be the prize
because I have prepared
169
00:05:32,008 --> 00:05:33,017
the greatest reveal
in heist history.
170
00:05:33,017 --> 00:05:36,012
Allow me to introduce you to...
171
00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,016
Other Scully.
172
00:05:39,013 --> 00:05:41,019
- Hi, I'm Earl,
Norm's twin brother.
173
00:05:41,019 --> 00:05:43,007
- [mimicking explosion]
- Why's Scully never mentioned
174
00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:45,000
he had a twin before?
175
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,017
- Because no one talks about
their siblings with coworkers.
176
00:05:46,017 --> 00:05:48,009
- I've told you about
my brother Lawrence.
177
00:05:48,009 --> 00:05:49,012
- Nope, and I don't want to
learn about him
178
00:05:49,012 --> 00:05:50,019
and I already forgot his name.
179
00:05:50,019 --> 00:05:52,009
Now let's go.
It's time to heist!
180
00:05:52,009 --> 00:05:54,013
- No movement yet.
So here's our plan.
181
00:05:54,013 --> 00:05:57,015
After watching everyone coo
over your maudlin proposal,
182
00:05:57,015 --> 00:05:59,013
I've decided we should
employ a similar diversion.
183
00:05:59,013 --> 00:06:01,000
- Smart, I'm in.
- You will tell Jake
184
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,009
you are pregnant
with his child.
185
00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:03,017
- What? I'm not pregnant.
186
00:06:03,017 --> 00:06:05,005
- Here is a positive
pregnancy test
187
00:06:05,005 --> 00:06:06,013
and a sonogram of your fetus.
188
00:06:06,013 --> 00:06:08,012
Congratulations.
It's a girl.
189
00:06:08,012 --> 00:06:10,005
- Feels a little mean
to play with Jake's feelings
190
00:06:10,005 --> 00:06:11,013
like that, sir.
- You're right, it is mean.
191
00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:12,019
Too bad.
192
00:06:12,019 --> 00:06:14,017
As your mentor,
I command you to do it.
193
00:06:14,017 --> 00:06:16,014
- Wow, okay.
194
00:06:16,014 --> 00:06:19,001
Perhaps we should
discuss some other options.
195
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,010
- There's no time, look.
196
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:22,001
Peralta's going
for the bracelet!
197
00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:23,018
- How'd he get him
free so quickly?
198
00:06:23,018 --> 00:06:25,001
- See ya later, losers!
199
00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:26,010
- Not so fast!
200
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:29,000
[taser crackling]
- [grunting]
201
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,010
What the hell was that?
202
00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,022
- That Fitbit I gave
you at Christmas?
203
00:06:31,022 --> 00:06:33,014
I modified it into a taser.
204
00:06:33,014 --> 00:06:35,012
- What? Do you even want
me to get into shape?
205
00:06:35,012 --> 00:06:37,006
-Yeah, but not as
much as I want to win.
206
00:06:37,006 --> 00:06:38,014
Buzz buzz, bitch.
207
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:39,022
- I've got Scully.
Come on, let's go.
208
00:06:39,022 --> 00:06:42,010
[taser crackling]
- [muffled shout]
209
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:46,016
No! Nooo!
210
00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:48,002
- Yes.
211
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:49,016
- Fake heist went perfectly.
212
00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,002
- So did the real heist.
213
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,018
- Why is your face
twitching like that?
214
00:06:53,018 --> 00:06:55,013
- Oh, Amy tased me a bunch.
I bit my own tongue.
215
00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,010
It was awesome. Was it hard
to get through the door?
216
00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,023
- No. I'm strong as hell.
217
00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:00,023
The hard part was getting this
bracelet off Scully's wrist.
218
00:07:00,023 --> 00:07:03,017
How can you even feel your
hand with this thing so tight?
219
00:07:03,017 --> 00:07:04,019
- You're supposed
to feel your hand?
220
00:07:04,019 --> 00:07:06,009
- Well, that's terrifying.
221
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,018
Now if you'll excuse
me I'm going to hide
222
00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:09,011
the old bracelet and
win me this heist.
223
00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:10,019
- Don't you mean
win us this heist?
224
00:07:10,019 --> 00:07:13,000
- Oh, Terrence,
unfortunately I do not.
225
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,001
- What the hell?
226
00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:17,011
- Sorry, Sarge.
227
00:07:17,011 --> 00:07:18,019
It had to be this way.
- Why?
228
00:07:18,019 --> 00:07:20,001
- The banner only has
my name on it.
229
00:07:20,001 --> 00:07:21,010
It's really all about the
banner.
230
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,019
It unfurls by
a voice command.
231
00:07:22,019 --> 00:07:24,011
But I promise that I will
mention
232
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:26,015
both you and Earl Scully
in my victory speech.
233
00:07:26,015 --> 00:07:27,023
- Wait, Earl's here?
234
00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:29,001
- Yeah. He helped us
with the heist.
235
00:07:29,001 --> 00:07:30,015
- I told that son of a bitch
236
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:32,019
never to show his face in
New York again!
237
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:34,001
- Why are you running
towards the glass?
238
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:36,017
[glass shatters]
239
00:07:36,017 --> 00:07:39,008
- You're a dead man, Earl!
240
00:07:39,008 --> 00:07:40,010
- That's not great.
241
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,018
- You're a dead man, Jake!
242
00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:42,020
- Uh, that's much worse.
243
00:07:47,006 --> 00:07:47,015
.
244
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,008
- Squirt more lube
245
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:48,008
and help me yank.
246
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,004
- Ugh, you know
that fun braggy recap
247
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,012
we do at the end of each win?
248
00:07:52,012 --> 00:07:53,012
Can we leave this part out?
249
00:07:53,012 --> 00:07:54,016
- [grunts] Yes.
250
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,020
We'll make up a cooler thing.
251
00:07:55,020 --> 00:07:57,016
But for now,
we lube and yank.
252
00:07:57,016 --> 00:08:00,003
Wrap your legs around him
to anchor yourself.
253
00:08:00,003 --> 00:08:01,012
- Yep. Here we go.
254
00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:03,023
[grunting, screaming]
255
00:08:03,023 --> 00:08:05,014
- Earl? Earl!
256
00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:07,020
- Norm?
257
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,012
Norm?
- What the--
258
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:10,016
- I'm so happy your
friend invited me to--
259
00:08:10,016 --> 00:08:11,019
- I told you
what would happen
260
00:08:11,019 --> 00:08:13,010
if I ever saw
you again, Earl.
261
00:08:13,010 --> 00:08:15,012
- What is going on?
What am I looking at?
262
00:08:15,012 --> 00:08:17,010
- Scully has a twin
brother named Earl.
263
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:18,022
Jake brought him
here to trick you.
264
00:08:18,022 --> 00:08:20,013
- Thank you
for the ride, Terrence.
265
00:08:20,013 --> 00:08:22,011
Apparently they don't
get along very well.
266
00:08:22,011 --> 00:08:24,001
- We did get along.
We were inseparable,
267
00:08:24,001 --> 00:08:25,017
until Earl slept
with my wife.
268
00:08:25,017 --> 00:08:27,004
- It's not my fault she wanted
269
00:08:27,004 --> 00:08:28,021
to have sex with a stud
instead of a dud.
270
00:08:28,021 --> 00:08:31,003
- Stud? Your face looks it's
been kicked in by a horse!
271
00:08:31,003 --> 00:08:32,017
- Well, your mouth
looks like a butthole!
272
00:08:32,017 --> 00:08:34,005
- Your whole body
looks like a butthole.
273
00:08:34,005 --> 00:08:35,011
- And you look identical.
274
00:08:35,011 --> 00:08:37,001
- [grunting]
275
00:08:37,001 --> 00:08:38,016
- [gurgling]
276
00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:39,023
- Should we help Scully?
277
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:41,003
- I'm not touching this.
278
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,021
[grunting]
279
00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:46,015
- [screams]
280
00:08:46,015 --> 00:08:48,005
- There's nowhere to run, Earl!
281
00:08:48,019 --> 00:08:50,019
- Well, that was
a real mind eff.
282
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:52,013
Good-bye.
- Just so you know,
283
00:08:52,013 --> 00:08:54,001
Jake has the bracelet
in his pocket.
284
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,013
- Why would you tell them that?
We're a team!
285
00:08:55,013 --> 00:08:56,017
- You locked me up.
286
00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:58,001
- Yeah, but they
didn't know that!
287
00:08:58,001 --> 00:08:59,015
- There's no bracelet
in his pocket!
288
00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:02,001
- What? There should be.
289
00:09:02,001 --> 00:09:03,002
Where'd it go?
290
00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,002
- Shalom, partner.
- Dope.
291
00:09:06,002 --> 00:09:07,018
- And you thought
Shlomo Ben-Yisrael
292
00:09:07,018 --> 00:09:09,000
wouldn't come through.
293
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,021
- No, I said the name
and the costume
294
00:09:10,021 --> 00:09:12,022
were offensive,
bordering on actionable.
295
00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:15,004
- Well, it worked.
Jake brought in Scully's twin
296
00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:17,014
just like I planned when
I connected them on Facebook,
297
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,002
but he had no idea
they hated each other.
298
00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,021
And when everyone
was fighting,
299
00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:22,022
they were too distracted
to notice old Shlomo.
300
00:09:22,022 --> 00:09:25,002
They all underestimated me,
Rosa, but today,
301
00:09:25,002 --> 00:09:28,004
they will learn the error
of their ways, for today,
302
00:09:28,004 --> 00:09:31,002
I will prove that nobody
gets the best of Charles Boyle.
303
00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:32,018
- I doused your beard
in chloroform.
304
00:09:32,018 --> 00:09:36,006
- Really? I find that
very hard to beli--
305
00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:39,006
[triumphant music]
306
00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:44,018
- Where's this goin'?
- All the way to Trenton.
307
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:46,005
Take your time.
308
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,015
- Aah, perfect.
309
00:09:48,015 --> 00:09:50,003
- What? What happened?
You know where the bracelet is?
310
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,003
- No. Kevin has arrived
with proof that I am
311
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,021
the only two-time
winner of the heist.
312
00:09:53,021 --> 00:09:55,005
- Here's your cummerbund,
Raymond.
313
00:09:55,005 --> 00:09:56,023
- We don't have
time for this, sir!
314
00:09:56,023 --> 00:09:58,007
I'm gonna go search
the first floor.
315
00:09:58,007 --> 00:09:59,023
- And I will search
the second floor.
316
00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:03,003
We are an inseparable team.
317
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,007
That was a devious fib.
318
00:10:04,007 --> 00:10:07,002
I'm betraying her
even as we speak.
319
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,015
- Hey, Kev.
- Diaz and I are covertly
320
00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:12,007
working together.
She snuck up through the vents.
321
00:10:12,007 --> 00:10:13,023
This is a major reveal.
322
00:10:13,023 --> 00:10:15,021
I feel like you're
not appreciating it.
323
00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,015
- I don't like these heists,
or what they bring out in you.
324
00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:19,019
- Oh, clam it, Kevin.
- "Clam it"?
325
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,019
Cheddar, perhaps
we should leave.
326
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:22,003
- No, Cheddar stays.
327
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,023
He still has
an important role to play.
328
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,003
Give me Mr. Hootsworth.
329
00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:29,004
No one would ever think of
looking for the bracelet
330
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:31,004
in Cheddar's
favorite chew toy.
331
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:34,003
- Or do you mean
Jake's favorite chew toy?
332
00:10:34,003 --> 00:10:35,018
[chuckles]
333
00:10:35,018 --> 00:10:39,000
Well, thank God no one
was around to hear that.
334
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,020
Ah! There you are.
I've been looking all over.
335
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:44,002
Woah. That's a lot of yolks.
Are you stress eating again
336
00:10:44,002 --> 00:10:45,020
or is this just a
small Terry snack?
337
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,002
- I'm stress eating, Jake!
338
00:10:47,002 --> 00:10:48,007
My snack yolks
are in that bowl.
339
00:10:48,007 --> 00:10:49,023
- Oh. Well,
stop eating eggs
340
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,004
and come help me
with the heist!
341
00:10:51,004 --> 00:10:52,016
- I'm not helping you.
- Why not?
342
00:10:52,016 --> 00:10:54,004
Ugh, is this because
I once betrayed you?
343
00:10:54,004 --> 00:10:56,000
- Yes! It was
our last interaction.
344
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,004
- And it was a huge mistake
345
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:58,019
and I now realize that
our friendship
346
00:10:58,019 --> 00:11:00,008
is way more important
than any stupid banner.
347
00:11:00,008 --> 00:11:03,002
Look, the bracelet
is in Cheddar's chew toy.
348
00:11:03,002 --> 00:11:04,022
I know because I bugged
Holt's cummerbund.
349
00:11:04,022 --> 00:11:06,020
- You did?
- Yes! I figured he would
350
00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,008
bring it in to show off.
Now let's do this!
351
00:11:08,008 --> 00:11:10,001
- I don't know.
352
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,005
- Look, Sarge,
I'm sorry, okay?
353
00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:13,001
I can't undo the past,
but come on.
354
00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,017
Would you rather
win the heist with me or sit
355
00:11:14,017 --> 00:11:17,001
around swallowing eggs like
Birdo from "Super Mario 2"?
356
00:11:17,001 --> 00:11:19,003
- Birdo doesn't eat eggs.
Birdo spits them!
357
00:11:19,003 --> 00:11:20,021
- Oh, my God, you got
that reference, Terry?
358
00:11:20,021 --> 00:11:24,017
We're the perfect team!
Come on, Sarge, please?
359
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,005
- Fine, I'll help.
- Ah! Wonderful.
360
00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:27,012
But, before you fully commit,
361
00:11:27,012 --> 00:11:29,007
I should probably
give you the heads-up.
362
00:11:29,007 --> 00:11:31,017
My plan is very elaborate and
you might get a little messy.
363
00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:33,021
- I'm in.
It's the heist, baby!
364
00:11:33,021 --> 00:11:35,011
Now let me know how
we get that chew toy.
365
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:37,001
- All right!
Okay.
366
00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:38,009
First, I infiltrate Holt's
office and continue
367
00:11:38,009 --> 00:11:40,007
our argument about
who won last year's heist.
368
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:43,007
- How many cummerbunds are
you holding right now? Zero!
369
00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:46,003
It's one bund to none, son!
Tell him, Kevin.
370
00:11:46,003 --> 00:11:47,003
- I'm leaving.
371
00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:48,013
- It doesn't matter--
372
00:11:48,013 --> 00:11:50,002
- As Holt argues with me
I will be covertly
373
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:52,004
releasing more water
into Cheddar's bowl.
374
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,005
Then we sit back
and wait for...
375
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,000
[Cheddar whimpers]
- Potty time again?
376
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,010
- What if he takes
him downstairs?
377
00:11:57,010 --> 00:11:59,004
- He won't.
I spent a lot of time
378
00:11:59,004 --> 00:12:01,002
making clandestine searches
on Holt's computer.
379
00:12:01,002 --> 00:12:04,000
Now all of his targeted ads
direct him straight to...
380
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,005
- The Puppy PeePee Pad.
Intriguing.
381
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:07,020
- He bought one
and put it out
382
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,006
on the roof next
to Gina's golden statue.
383
00:12:09,006 --> 00:12:11,006
And, because he believes
that Cheddar deserves
384
00:12:11,006 --> 00:12:13,009
to pee in privacy like any
other self-respecting adult,
385
00:12:13,009 --> 00:12:16,018
he will leave Cheddar outside
alone to do his business.
386
00:12:16,018 --> 00:12:18,020
- Notify me when you're done,
via bark.
387
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,009
- While Holt guards the door,
388
00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:22,022
you'll be swapping out
Mr. Hootsworth for this.
389
00:12:22,022 --> 00:12:24,013
- That all sounds great,
390
00:12:24,013 --> 00:12:26,002
but how do I get onto the roof
without Holt noticing?
391
00:12:26,002 --> 00:12:28,001
- Oh, Sarge.
You'll already be out there...
392
00:12:28,001 --> 00:12:30,022
In a perfect golden disguise.
393
00:12:32,005 --> 00:12:34,002
- The plan worked! I got it!
394
00:12:34,002 --> 00:12:35,023
- Oh my God, you
look like an Oscar. Ooh!
395
00:12:35,023 --> 00:12:37,009
We should take a picture where
it looks like I'm holding you.
396
00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:38,019
- Jake.
-You're right.
397
00:12:38,019 --> 00:12:40,006
There's no time.
We'll do it later.
398
00:12:40,006 --> 00:12:41,007
- No, we won't!
Help me get this paint off!
399
00:12:41,007 --> 00:12:42,021
- Okay, put your hands out and
400
00:12:42,021 --> 00:12:44,001
I'll squirt you with
a little makeup remover.
401
00:12:44,001 --> 00:12:45,002
Hi-ya!
402
00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:46,006
- No!
403
00:12:46,006 --> 00:12:48,009
You're betraying me again?
Why?
404
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:50,006
- Because of the banner!
405
00:12:50,006 --> 00:12:51,019
- But I thought you said our
friendship was more important!
406
00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:53,007
- Yeah, that was
obviously a lie.
407
00:12:53,007 --> 00:12:54,011
The banner was very expensive!
408
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,011
I don't have
a lot of money, Sarge.
409
00:12:55,011 --> 00:12:58,014
All right, bye.
410
00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,014
Don't make a lot of noise.
411
00:13:04,003 --> 00:13:04,006
.
412
00:13:04,008 --> 00:13:05,004
- Howdy. I just got back
413
00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:05,004
from lunch with Charles,
414
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,002
who is not here.
I am real glad
415
00:13:08,002 --> 00:13:09,019
I skipped the heist.
Say, who is winning?
416
00:13:09,019 --> 00:13:10,023
- I don't know, but I know
that I am not winning.
417
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:13,004
- Interesting,
it is also not me.
418
00:13:13,004 --> 00:13:14,004
- Uh, why are you guys
acting so weird?
419
00:13:14,004 --> 00:13:15,023
- Gah, weird?
420
00:13:15,023 --> 00:13:18,000
Would a person who is acting
weird laugh like this?
421
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,012
A huh-huh huh-ha, carefree!
422
00:13:19,012 --> 00:13:21,007
- Yes.
- Jake!
423
00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:23,008
- Oh, Terry, you ripped
yourself free.
424
00:13:23,008 --> 00:13:25,003
- Yeah, maybe you
should try cuffing me
425
00:13:25,003 --> 00:13:26,020
to a stronger metal
next time.
426
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:28,000
- Yeah, I don't know the
relative strength of metals.
427
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,007
- What's going on?
428
00:13:29,007 --> 00:13:30,020
Why does Terry
look like an Oscar?
429
00:13:30,020 --> 00:13:32,012
- Doesn't he?
- He has the bracelet!
430
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,000
We grabbed Mr. Hootsworth
431
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,011
from Cheddar and
swapped it for a fake!
432
00:13:35,011 --> 00:13:38,002
- Wow, Terry, my betrayals
were all in good fun,
433
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:39,008
but this really hurts.
434
00:13:39,008 --> 00:13:41,015
- Cheddar,
bring me Mr. Hootsworth.
435
00:13:43,004 --> 00:13:45,000
It's an updated model.
436
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,015
The bowtie is Turkish blue
instead of Egyptian blue.
437
00:13:47,015 --> 00:13:49,003
How could you not
have noticed this?
438
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,002
- Because he's a dog.
439
00:13:51,002 --> 00:13:55,007
And at the end of the day a dog
is no match for Jake Peralta.
440
00:13:55,007 --> 00:13:57,001
- Well yours is a fake, too.
Turkish blue bowtie.
441
00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:58,008
- Oh, come on!
The one time
442
00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,021
I say out loud
I'm smarter than a dog?
443
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,001
- If I have a fake
and you have a fake,
444
00:14:01,001 --> 00:14:02,015
who took the real bracelet?
445
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,009
- I did.
- Kevin?
446
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,000
- I swapped out Mr. Hootsworth
for a fake
447
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,013
while you were arguing
with Peralta.
448
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,013
- How many cummerbunds are you
holding right now? Zero!
449
00:14:09,013 --> 00:14:11,003
It's one bund to none, son!
450
00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,021
- You betrayed me?
But why?
451
00:14:13,021 --> 00:14:15,007
- I can't have more of
these trophies in our home.
452
00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:16,012
The cummerbund was already in
the living room.
453
00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:18,005
What's next,
a rusty medical bracelet
454
00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:19,021
suspended above our bed?
455
00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:21,011
- Yes! Now hand it over.
456
00:14:21,011 --> 00:14:22,021
- I don't have it.
I gave it to Amy.
457
00:14:22,021 --> 00:14:24,009
- [gasps]
- Santiago.
458
00:14:24,009 --> 00:14:26,011
- You betrayed me as well?
- You betrayed me first.
459
00:14:26,011 --> 00:14:28,001
You were working with Rosa
this whole time.
460
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,007
- That wasn't real.
461
00:14:29,007 --> 00:14:30,021
I was always gonna
stab her in the back.
462
00:14:30,021 --> 00:14:32,005
- You were?
What kind of person treats
463
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,013
another human being
like that?
464
00:14:33,013 --> 00:14:35,002
- You tricked me, Rosa!
465
00:14:35,002 --> 00:14:36,022
And then you shipped
me to New Jersey!
466
00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:38,012
- First of all, grow up.
Second of all, how'd you
467
00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,014
get back here so fast?
468
00:14:39,014 --> 00:14:41,002
- If you get a box wet enough,
469
00:14:41,002 --> 00:14:42,002
it's very easy to
bust out of it.
470
00:14:42,002 --> 00:14:43,012
- No one ask any follow-ups!
471
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:45,006
- I knew I couldn't
trust you, Rosa.
472
00:14:45,006 --> 00:14:47,001
That's why I was going to
double-cross you with Bill.
473
00:14:47,001 --> 00:14:49,002
That's right,
he didn't really die.
474
00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:51,006
- Hey, guys, you really thought
I'd miss this year's heist?
475
00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:52,016
No way, I'm part of the squad.
476
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,006
- No.
- Not true.
477
00:14:54,006 --> 00:14:55,013
- Okay, this is official
getting hard to track.
478
00:14:55,013 --> 00:14:57,004
Who has the bracelet now?
479
00:14:57,004 --> 00:14:58,014
- Santiago.
480
00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:59,016
- Yeah! And none of you
are getting it!
481
00:14:59,016 --> 00:15:01,000
- We'll see about that.
482
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,014
[taser crackling]
- [groans]
483
00:15:02,014 --> 00:15:04,002
What the hell?
484
00:15:04,002 --> 00:15:05,010
- Remember that very
fancy Swiss pen I got you
485
00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:06,022
for Christmas,
the one that you keep in
486
00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:09,010
your pocket at all times?
It's a taser, bro.
487
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,006
[beeping]
- Uuugh!
488
00:15:11,006 --> 00:15:13,006
I'll take that. Amy,
do not make me tase you again.
489
00:15:13,006 --> 00:15:15,005
- No, no, no, no, don't!
I'm pregnant!
490
00:15:15,005 --> 00:15:17,002
- What?
- I just found out.
491
00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,015
It's a girl.
- Oh, my God!
492
00:15:18,015 --> 00:15:20,014
- Oh my God, it's happening!
493
00:15:20,014 --> 00:15:22,010
Quick, someone get a reaction
video of me becoming an uncle!
494
00:15:22,010 --> 00:15:24,023
- She's making it up.
The pregnancy scam was my idea.
495
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:26,015
- No.
No, no, no, no, Amy.
496
00:15:26,015 --> 00:15:28,017
Wait, is that true? Did you
just lie to me about our baby?
497
00:15:28,017 --> 00:15:30,007
- Yeah, did you lie to
us about our baby?
498
00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:32,007
- You tased me!
- You tased me first!
499
00:15:32,007 --> 00:15:33,014
- Enough!
Terry's had enough of this.
500
00:15:33,014 --> 00:15:36,001
This was supposed to be
501
00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,007
just a fun game but it's turned
you all into terrible people.
502
00:15:39,007 --> 00:15:42,001
Betraying your husband, putting
your friend in the mail.
503
00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:44,014
Jake and Amy, did you guys
buy each other any gifts
504
00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:46,007
this year that weren't tasers?
505
00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:47,015
- No.
- No.
506
00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:49,014
- You all pretended that
this was all about
507
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:53,003
helping me with my test.
But none of you cared one bit!
508
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:55,013
You know what?
You all suck!
509
00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:57,003
[beeping]
510
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:59,004
- Oh no, my voice command.
Terry, look out!
511
00:15:59,004 --> 00:16:01,002
- [groans]
512
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,012
- Okay. I know that was bad,
but let's not jump to
513
00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:06,000
any conclusions about
whose fault it was.
514
00:16:13,008 --> 00:16:16,004
- Wow, what
a fun improvised song.
515
00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:21,016
- His eyes aren't focusing and
he hasn't referred to himself
516
00:16:21,016 --> 00:16:24,016
in the third person in minutes.
He's clearly concussed.
517
00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:26,006
- Guys, this is bad.
518
00:16:26,006 --> 00:16:28,000
The Lieutenant's exam
is in 30 minutes.
519
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,007
- Okay, look, let's just
get him to One Police Plaza
520
00:16:30,007 --> 00:16:31,016
and hopefully he'll
wake up on the way.
521
00:16:31,016 --> 00:16:33,014
Charles, help me pick him up.
- Copy that.
522
00:16:33,014 --> 00:16:35,016
He's too heavy.
We can't do this.
523
00:16:35,016 --> 00:16:37,012
- God! How does he lift weights
and also lift his arms?
524
00:16:37,012 --> 00:16:39,006
This is impossible.
We'll never get him there.
525
00:16:39,006 --> 00:16:40,016
- So you guys need
help moving a body?
526
00:16:40,016 --> 00:16:42,005
Thank God old Bill's
part of the squad.
527
00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:45,016
I mean, assuming,
I am part of the squad.
528
00:16:47,009 --> 00:16:48,019
- Yes, sure.
- Totally.
529
00:16:48,019 --> 00:16:51,015
- Oh, yes, finally.
I have somewhere to live.
530
00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:53,009
- What?
- Meet me in the alley next to
531
00:16:53,009 --> 00:16:54,013
my shopping cart.
It's the one with all the cans.
532
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,001
- Seems like his plan is
533
00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,005
just to put Terry in
the shopping cart.
534
00:16:57,005 --> 00:16:58,009
- Correct.
We'll take it!
535
00:16:58,009 --> 00:17:01,009
[driving mariachi music]
536
00:17:04,017 --> 00:17:06,009
- Room 410 is this way!
537
00:17:06,009 --> 00:17:08,007
Okay, we got him here with
one minute to spare.
538
00:17:08,007 --> 00:17:10,001
- Yes! I knew we could make it.
All right, Sarge.
539
00:17:10,001 --> 00:17:11,013
You ready to
go in there and ace this thing?
540
00:17:11,013 --> 00:17:13,013
- Yeah, I can't believe it,
I'm gonna be a pilot!
541
00:17:13,013 --> 00:17:15,007
- Okay, well, that's not great.
- There's no way he can take
542
00:17:15,007 --> 00:17:16,017
the test in that condition!
543
00:17:16,017 --> 00:17:18,005
- You're right. Amy,
you're going to have to
544
00:17:18,005 --> 00:17:19,017
crawl inside
his shirt and operate
545
00:17:19,017 --> 00:17:21,005
his arms for him.
It's a Ratatouille situation.
546
00:17:21,005 --> 00:17:22,020
- On it.
- No. It's over. We have to go
547
00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:24,010
in there and tell them
that he won't be making it.
548
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:26,002
- So that's it then.
549
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:27,010
Rosa, you should probably go
in first since
550
00:17:27,010 --> 00:17:28,018
this is mostly your fault.
- Dude.
551
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,009
- All right, fine, I'll do it,
jeez.
552
00:17:32,014 --> 00:17:36,010
- Wait. Where is everyone?
Where are all the desks?
553
00:17:36,010 --> 00:17:37,012
- What is happening?
554
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,010
What's happening is...
555
00:17:41,002 --> 00:17:42,018
You all suck!
[beeping]
556
00:17:53,018 --> 00:17:55,009
- Son of a bitch stole my song.
557
00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,004
.
558
00:17:59,007 --> 00:17:59,020
- Wait, Terry has the bracelet?
559
00:18:01,014 --> 00:18:04,009
- That's right.
Me and my teammate Terry won.
560
00:18:04,009 --> 00:18:06,013
We fooled you all.
561
00:18:06,013 --> 00:18:08,019
- You didn't do [bleep]!
- Okay, well, neither did
562
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:10,015
Jordan's teammates,
but they still got rings.
563
00:18:10,015 --> 00:18:12,019
All right, fine.
Just tell us how you did it.
564
00:18:12,019 --> 00:18:15,010
- Well, first, for my plan
to work, it had to happen
565
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:17,015
on a day when I could
control everything.
566
00:18:17,015 --> 00:18:18,015
I couldn't let it
be Halloween.
567
00:18:18,015 --> 00:18:20,013
- You faked the gas explosion!
568
00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:22,015
- Yeah, stupid actors
almost blew it.
569
00:18:22,015 --> 00:18:24,007
- What was with
that moaning, Trent?
570
00:18:24,007 --> 00:18:26,011
I thought you studied at
the Lee Strasberg Institute!
571
00:18:26,011 --> 00:18:28,007
- It doesn't mean anything.
They just take your money!
572
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:30,015
- Oh, that is a huge relief.
I felt so bad about poking
573
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,007
that guy's wound to make
sure it was real.
574
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,019
- You should still
feel bad about that.
575
00:18:33,019 --> 00:18:35,005
- No, it was all fake.
I'm totally absolved.
576
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,019
Continue with your story,
Sarge.
577
00:18:36,019 --> 00:18:38,022
- I knew you'd suggest a heist
as a distraction from
578
00:18:38,022 --> 00:18:41,019
my Lieutenant exam, then all
I had to do was sit back
579
00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:44,013
and watch as everyone
took things way too far.
580
00:18:44,013 --> 00:18:46,012
- But how'd you know we'd
get so out of hand?
581
00:18:46,012 --> 00:18:49,012
- I spent the last six months
sowing the seeds of conflict.
582
00:18:49,012 --> 00:18:51,023
- Man, I am so sick of Jake
saying he is the only
583
00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:53,019
two-time Halloween
heist winner.
584
00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:56,015
both: I'm the only two-time
Halloween heist winner.
585
00:18:56,015 --> 00:18:58,000
- I can't believe
everyone says you're
586
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,018
not helpful during
the Halloween heist.
587
00:18:59,018 --> 00:19:02,009
Just because they all think
your fingers are too big.
588
00:19:03,004 --> 00:19:04,016
- We'll show them.
589
00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:06,015
- Thanks for inviting
me over for dinner.
590
00:19:06,015 --> 00:19:09,004
Boy, that's hung in a real
prominent place, isn't it?
591
00:19:09,004 --> 00:19:11,010
- Not for long.
I was manipulated?
592
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:13,008
- Sorry, Kevin.
- Don't apologize to him,
593
00:19:13,008 --> 00:19:14,012
Terry.
It's his first heist.
594
00:19:14,012 --> 00:19:16,008
He needs to learn.
Keep going.
595
00:19:16,008 --> 00:19:18,020
- Well, after I got everyone
acting like maniacs, all I had
596
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:21,020
to do was make you feel bad
by "knocking myself out."
597
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:23,008
- The banner.
598
00:19:23,008 --> 00:19:24,020
But how did you learn
my voice command?
599
00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:27,021
- I didn't have to.
I sold you the damn thing!
600
00:19:27,021 --> 00:19:29,015
- No.
601
00:19:29,015 --> 00:19:31,012
I want it to unfurl when I say,
"You all suck."
602
00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:32,015
[through voice distortion app]
- Absolutely.
603
00:19:32,015 --> 00:19:33,019
Pleasure doing
business with you.
604
00:19:33,019 --> 00:19:36,005
- The pleasure was all mine.
605
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:37,013
[click]
606
00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:38,017
That's gonna work.
607
00:19:38,017 --> 00:19:40,017
I spent $1,800 on that thing!
608
00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:42,021
- You did?
- Amy, stop interrupting.
609
00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:44,012
Terry's doing his big speech.
610
00:19:44,012 --> 00:19:46,017
- Anyway, once
my fake concussion was
611
00:19:46,017 --> 00:19:49,013
on display, I created
the perfect distraction
612
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:52,007
for my partner
to do his job.
613
00:19:54,013 --> 00:19:56,013
- Cheddar,
you duplicitous bitch.
614
00:19:56,013 --> 00:19:58,009
- I've been training
Cheddar for months.
615
00:19:58,009 --> 00:20:00,021
- Wow, what a fun
improvised song!
616
00:20:00,021 --> 00:20:02,009
- When I swapped
the Hootsworths,
617
00:20:02,009 --> 00:20:04,001
I put a magnetic collar
on him!
618
00:20:04,001 --> 00:20:06,021
From there, Cheddar
followed us all the way
619
00:20:06,021 --> 00:20:09,022
to One Police Plaza,
where he hand-delivered
620
00:20:09,022 --> 00:20:12,010
the bracelet to me
right outside this room.
621
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,009
- But, wait, what about
the Lieutenant's exam?
622
00:20:14,009 --> 00:20:15,018
Aren't you supposed to
be taking it right now?
623
00:20:15,018 --> 00:20:17,017
- Hell no, I took
that thing weeks ago.
624
00:20:17,017 --> 00:20:19,018
And I passed!
I'm already a lieutenant!
625
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,008
- You are?
- That's incredible!
626
00:20:21,008 --> 00:20:22,022
- Lieutenant Jeffords!
- This is amazing.
627
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:25,018
- I'm so proud of you, Terry.
628
00:20:25,018 --> 00:20:27,010
- All right.
You've overstepped now, Bill.
629
00:20:27,010 --> 00:20:29,010
- Yeah, it's weird
you're here, Bill.
630
00:20:29,010 --> 00:20:31,014
- To Terry Jeffords,
the ultimate human being
631
00:20:31,014 --> 00:20:34,008
slash genius.
Nice work...Lieutenant.
632
00:20:34,008 --> 00:20:36,018
all: Yeah!
- Thanks, squad!
633
00:20:36,018 --> 00:20:38,010
- Also the next heist will be
at Halloween,
634
00:20:38,010 --> 00:20:40,002
so you'll only be champion
for six months.
635
00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:42,010
This is half a win at best.
- Sounds about right, yeah.
636
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:43,022
- Yeah.
- Pretty garbage.
637
00:20:43,022 --> 00:20:46,002
- Hey, Scully, so you
and Earl made up?
638
00:20:46,002 --> 00:20:48,002
- Yup.
Hitchcock helped us realize
639
00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:49,018
we shouldn't fight just
because we're so different.
640
00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:51,018
- Yeah. To our differences!
[mugs clink]
641
00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:54,021
[together]
Oh, dang it!
642
00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:56,003
[simultaneous farts]
643
00:20:56,003 --> 00:20:57,011
[together]
Ooh, double dang it.
644
00:20:57,011 --> 00:20:59,019
- What?
- Oh, my God.
645
00:20:59,019 --> 00:21:01,019
- Terry, what you did
today was awesome
646
00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:04,022
and I just wanted to say I'm
sorry if I took things too far.
647
00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,001
- Are you kidding me?
648
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,009
I was just guilting you
as a tactic.
649
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:08,019
I love how crazy
the heist gets.
650
00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,017
- Okay, good, 'cause what I
really wanted to say
651
00:21:10,017 --> 00:21:13,001
is next heist I'm gonna drown
you in your own blood.
652
00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:14,014
- Oh, yeah? Well, then I'm
gonna rip your arms off
653
00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:15,014
and beat you to
death with 'em.
654
00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:17,002
- Oh!
655
00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:18,019
- I'm going to slice your
Achilles' tendons, peel off
656
00:21:18,019 --> 00:21:20,011
your fingernails, and stick
knitting needles in your eyes.
657
00:21:20,011 --> 00:21:21,011
both: Oh, damn.
658
00:21:21,011 --> 00:21:22,013
- Raymond, you were right.
659
00:21:22,013 --> 00:21:23,019
These heists are fun.
660
00:21:23,019 --> 00:21:25,019
- Fremulon.
661
00:21:25,019 --> 00:21:27,019
- Not a doctor.
Shh.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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