Original subtitles

*

[ Crash ]

[ Whooping ]

[ Everyone ] * SUMMER'S HERE IT'S A HOLIDAY *

* SCHOOL IS OUT NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY *

* JUST GET THE SCHOOL BOOKS OUT OF REACH *

* WE'RE GONNA GO TO BIKINI BEACH *

* THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Girls ] * THAT'S WHERE THE FUN IS AT *

[ Everyone ] * THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Guys ] * ALL THE CHICKS ARE BIKINI CLAD *

* OH, YEAH *

*

[ Everyone ] * THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Girls ] * THAT'S WHERE THE FUN IS AT *

[ Everyone ] * THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Guys ] * ALL THE CHICKS ARE BIKINI CLAD *

[ Everyone ] * WE'RE ON OUR OWN WE'RE ON OUR WAY *

* THE GANG'S ALL HEADIN' FOR A HOLIDAY *

* A LOT OF GIRLS AND A GUY FOR EACH *

* COME ON LET'S GO TO BIKINI BEACH *

* THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Girls ] * THAT'S WHERE THE FUN IS AT *

[ Everyone ] * THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Guys ] * ALL THE CHICKS ARE BIKINI CLAD *

[ Everyone ] * THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

* KEEP THE SHORT SHORTS OUTTA SIGHT *

* THAT'S IT THAT'S RIGHT *

[ Guys ] * GONNA BE * [ Girls ] * GONNA BE * * WHO NEEDS SHORT SHORTS *

[ Everyone ] * BEACH PARTY *

* TONIGHT *

* THAT'S RIGHT * [ Guy ] * RIGHT * COME ON. LET'S HIT IT !

[ Whooping ]

THIS SHOULD KEEP THE WOLVES AWAY FROM OUR DOOR. [ Guys Booing ]

HEY, ISN'T THERE SOME WAY WE COULD LOCK THIS THING ?

FROM THE INSIDE OR THE OUTSIDE ?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, ANIMAL, DON'T YOU TRUST THE BOYS ?

IT ISN'T THAT. I DON'T TRUST ME.

HEY, CANDY, WHO DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW TO GET INTO GIRLS' TOWN ?

I'M AVAILABLE. [ Guys Laughing ]

BETCHA THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND. HUH, ANIMAL ?

OKAY, CANDY, PUT HIM DOWN.

[ Guys Laughing ]

THAT CANDY REALLY HAS THE POWER.

DEE DEE ?

THERE'S A MOON OUT THERE, AND IT'S CALLING US.

I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING. ALL RIGHT. THE MOON ISN'T CALLING, BUT THE WAVES ARE.

WE CAN GO SIT BY THEM UNTIL WE GET THE MESSAGE-- WHILE THE CHILDREN SLEEP.

FRANKIE, YOU GO LISTEN TO THE MOON AND THE WAVES.

UNTIL I HEAR WEDDING BELLS, I'M CHILDREN TOO.

YOU WIN SOME. YOU LOSE QUITE A FEW.

OH, BIXBY'S BIRD FARM ! OH, CORA, WILL YOU--

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HOLY HOT CURL !

GIRLS, COME HERE ! I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. HURRY UP.

WAKE UP, YOU GUYS. WAKE UP, HURRY UP. I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

- WHAT IS IT ? - THROW YOUR EYES AT THAT !

[ Frankie ] THE SHEIK OF ARABY HAS PITCHED HIS PAD AMONG US !

MIGHT BE A MIRAGE. LET'S GO GIVE IT THE DOUBLE-O, HUH ?

HEY, WHAT'S A DOUBLE-O ? ONCE OVER, GOO-GOO. COME ON, YOU GUYS.

[ Girl ] IT'S THE POTATO BUG ! HE'S HERE !

[ Girls Screaming ]

THEY'VE ALL GONE BEATLE OVER A POTATO BUG.

THAT AIN'T NO MIRAGE.

[ All Whooping ]

DEE DEE, I THINK WE ASSOCIATE WITH A VERY UNSTABLE GROUP.

COME ON. IT WON'T DO ANY HARM TO HAVE A LOOK.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE FLIPPED OVER THAT CRUMPET EATER.

WELL, THEY SAY HE'S VERY NICE, PERSONALLY.

PERSONALLY, I CAN LIVE WITHOUT FINDING OUT.

WELL, I CAN'T.

SHH. I MUST INSIST YOU BE AS QUIET AS POSSIBLE. HIS EMINENCE IS SLEEPING.

HIS EMINENCE ? SHH.

ARE YOU HIS GIRL OR SOMETHING ?

NO. MY NAME IS YVONNE, BUT I AM CALLED LADY BUG.

I AM THE POTATO BUG'S BODYGUARD.

OH, YEAH. WHO GUARDS YOUR BODY ?

I DO.

WHAT IF SOME BIG HANDSOME BRUTE, AND I'M NOT NAMIN' NAMES,

FIGURED HE'D MAKE SOME TIME WITH YOU ?

WHY, YOU AND I, WE COULD MAKE SOME BEAUTIFUL MUSIC TOGETHER.

WHY, JUST COME ON INTO THESE ARMS, BABY.

HEY, THAT'S SOMETHING !

- IT'S CALLED SAVATE. - SAH-WHO ?

SAVATE. IN FRENCH, THAT MEANS THE ART OF FOOT FIGHTING.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? SHE CAN DO WITH HER FEET WHAT CANDY CAN DO WITH HER--

- GIANT GROUND SWELLS ! - HIPS.

WAKE SURFING !

OH !

THIS IS IT, HUH, DEE DEE ?

SURE, IT IS, FOR NOW. FOREVER IS RIGHT NOW.

BUT WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW ? TOMORROW IS THE DAY AFTER TODAY.

FRANKIE, THERE'S A REAL TOMORROW. YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT THAT.

SURE, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. TOMORROW.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? I GOT A FEELIN'...

SOMEBODY'S WATCHIN' US.

I GET THE STRANGEST FEELING.

SOMETHING'S WRONG AROUND HERE.

[ Chuckles ] YES, INDEED.

* YOU GOTTA HAVE A RHYTHM WHEN YOU DANCE *

* WHEN YOU GAMBLE GOTTA TAKE A CHANCE *

* BUT WHEN YOU WANNA TRY A LITTLE ROMANCE *

* THEN LOVE'S A SECRET WEAPON *

CLYDE, THEY'RE DOING YOUR DANCE. [ Chattering ]

* LOOK HIM IN THE EYE *

* ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GIVE IT A TRY *

* YES, LOVE'S *

* A SECRET WEAPON *

* SO COME ON AND TAKE MY ADVICE *

- * YOU'LL FIND * - CLYDE, CLYDE, WATCH THE PAINT. CLYDE, STOP.

* IT'S TIME *

* YOU STARTED TO BELIEVE * [ Chattering ]

* THAT'S HOW ADAM WAS WON BY EVE *

* OH, THAT'S THE SECRET OF THE WHOLE AFFAIR *

* GIVE A LITTLE LOVE AND TENDER CARE *

* IF YOU'RE GONNA GET HIM AND KEEP HIM THERE *

* THEN LOVE'S *

* THE SECRET WEAPON *

* SO COME ON TAKE MY ADVICE *

* WELL, YOU'LL FIND THAT LOVE IS KIND OF NICE *

* IT'S TIME YOU STARTED TO BELIEVE *

* THAT'S HOW ADAM WAS WON BY EVE *

* OH *

* THAT'S THE SECRET OF THE WHOLE AFFAIR *

* GIVE A LITTLE LOVE AND TENDER CARE *

* IF YOU'RE GONNA GET HIM AND KEEP HIM THERE *

* THEN LOVE'S A SECRET WEAPON *

* THEN LOVE'S A SECRET WEAPON *

* YES, LOVE'S *

* A SECRET WEAPON *

YEAH !

[ Chattering ]

[ Guy ] HEY, THERE'S A MONKEY !

HEY, HEY ! LOOK !

I THOUGHT THE POTATO BUG WAS TALLER.

HEY, I WAS RIGHT. THAT MONKEY WAS WATCHING US.

CLYDE. COME ALONG, CLYDE.

GIVE THEM BACK THEIR BALL.

ALL RIGHT, CLYDE. ALL RIGHT, CLYDE. [ Laughing ]

HEY, TARZAN ! WHERE'S JANE ?

CLYDE, COME ON. CLYDE, CLYDE, CLYDE.

COME ALONG. COME ALONG, CLYDE.

[ Girls Screaming ]

CLYDE. CLYDE, COME HERE. CLYDE !

NOW, MAY I ASK WHOSE BOARD THIS HAPPENS TO BE ? [ Guy ] IT'S MINE.

OH, REALLY. WELL, MAY I USE IT ? BE MY GUEST.

- CLYDE ? - HEY, HOLD IT, NOW.

NO, NO. SON, JUST STEP BACK. WATCH, PLEASE. I ASSURE YOU. EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT.

LOOK AT HIM. [ Laughing ]

OH, COME ON. WHAT IS THIS ? NO WAY. NO WAY.

WELL, HE'S PADDLING AT LEAST. NOT BAD.

[ Laughing ]

YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING !

OH ! HE MADE IT !

THAT'S FANTASTIC ! GREAT.!ANTASTIC !

[ Giggling ]

[ Chattering ]

[ Guy ] LOOK AT HIM TURN ! THE BOTTOM TURN.

DEADHEAD, HE'S BETTER THAN YOU ! BETTER LOOKIN', TOO !

[ Groans ] A HEAD STAND. THAT'S IT.

NO MORE. THAT'S IT.

MARVELOUS, YES.

[ Cheering ]

DID YOU ENJOY CLYDE'S PERFORMANCE ?

YEAH ! HE'S A REAL SHARP CHIMP.

WELL, I'M AFRAID YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT.

YOU SEE, THE POINT IS NOT WHETHER CLYDE IS SHARP.

THE POINT IS THAT THE INTELLIGENCE OF YOU YOUNG PEOPLE HAS FALLEN TO HIS LEVEL

[ All Groaning ]

I'M DETERMINED TO PROVE THAT YOU YOUNG PEOPLE ARE BORDERLINE CASES...

LEANING TOWARD FEEBLEMINDEDNESS,

WITH AN ABNORMAL PREOCCUPATION WITH SEX.

WELL, YEAH ! THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THE ONLY DISPLAY OF KNOWLEDGE BEING OF A CARNAL NATURE.

WOULD YOU MIND REPEATIN' THAT IN ENGLISH ? QUIET, GOO-GOO.

YOU PHOTOGRAPH QUITE WELL, CLYDE.

[ Chattering ]

THAT'S RATHER GOOD, DON'T YOU THINK ?

THAT'S NOT BAD. IT'S KIND OF CUTE.

- WHO ARE YOU, ANYWAY ? - HARVEY HUNTINGTON HONEYWAGON.

I'D KEEP THAT QUIET IF I WERE YOU. THE THIRD.

OH, YOU GOT THE OLD FOLKS' HOME DOWN BY THE BEACH.

SEA-ESTA BY THE SEA IS A RESORT FOR SENIOR CITIZENS.

AND YOUR IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR HAS BEEN A BLEMISH ON THAT FINE COMMUNITY.

- AND I INTEND TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. - FRANK, PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE !

WAIT A SECOND ! LOOK. THIS IS A PUBLIC BEACH.

JUST WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT ?

WELL, YOU READ TOMORROW'S PAPER, UNDER THIS PICTURE.

UH, THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN READ, THAT IS.

[ All Scoffing ]

COME ON, CLYDE. COME ON.

THE NERVE OF THAT CLOWN !

HE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

IMAGINE, COMPARING US TO MONKEYS.

DEADHEAD, YOU MIGHT BE THE MISSING LINK. [ Kids Laughing ]

OH, I SAY THERE ! OVER HERE.

[ Together ] IT'S THE POTATO BUG !

[ Girls Squealing ]

LOOK AT HIM ! THERE'S NOBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD LIKE HIM !

OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. [ Guy ] I WOULD.

THAT WAS A JOLLY GOOD SHOW. YES, JOLLY GOOD INDEED.

THAT SIMIAN CREATURE WAS MOST AMAZING. POSITIVELY REMARKABLE !

DID YOU COME HERE FOR SURFING, MR. BUG ?

OH, NO. CRUMBS, NO. NOT ENOUGH SPEED, REALLY.

OH, YEAH ? DID YOU EVER SEE A REAL HOT DOG HIT THE BIG WILD ONES AT 80 MILES AN HOUR ?

HMM. I'M AFRAID I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND...

YOUR YANKEE TYPE COLLOQUIALISM, OLD CHAP.

A HOT DOG IS A SURFER, POTATO BUG.

A HOT DOG'S A SURFER.

[ Chuckles ] I THOUGHT YOU ALL SPOKE ENGLISH HERE IN THE COLONIES.

IT'S NOT REQUIRED. IT'S AN ELECTIVE.

OH. I MEAN,

EIGHTY MILES AN HOUR REALLY ISN'T VERY FAST AT ALL.

[ Imitating British Accent ] OH, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL FAST ?

I DON'T KNOW. TWO HUNDRED ? TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

WHERE IT'S A TEENSY-WEENSY BIT FRIGHTENING, WITH A SPOT OF DANGER INVOLVED.

YES. I'D BE DELIGHTED TO SHOW YOU CHAPS TOMORROW IF YOU'D LIKE.

JUST COME OVER TO THE DRAG STRIP.

HEY, YOU GOT A RAIL UNDER THERE ?

OH, QUITE. LITTLE HOBBY OF MINE, YOU KNOW.

JOLLY GOOD FUN. YES. BUT YOU 80-MILE-AN-HOUR CHAPS...

MIGHT FIND IT A BIT TOO DEVILISH.

YOU MIGHT JUST FIND WE COULD BE PRETTY GOOD.

HEY, LET'S GET OFF THIS KICK. MAYBE THE POTATO BUG WILL SING SOMETHING.

[ Girls Squealing ] RIGHTO. JUST A FEW MEASURES.

* OOH *

* I DON'T WANNA BE THE RICHEST MAN *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* ALL I WANNA DO IS HOLD YOUR HAND *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* RICHES WON'T BUY YOU EVERYTHING *

* I JUST WANT WHAT LOVE CAN BRING OOH *G CAN BRING

[ Squealing ] * GIVE ME YOUR LOVE *

* I DON'T WANT WHAT MONEY CAN BUY *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* COME ON, LITTLE GIRL AND I'LL TELL YOU WHY *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* MONEY WON'T BUY YOU HAPPINESS *

* ALL I NEED IS YOUR SWEET KISS *

* OOH GIMME YOUR LOVE *

* NOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SEARCHIN' FOR *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* SAY YOU'LL BE MINE FOREVER MORE *

* OOH, YEAH, YEAH *

* YOU KNOW I GOTTA FIND A LOVE SOMEHOW *

* SAY YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME HAPPY NOW *

* OOH *

* OOH GIMME YOUR LOVE *

* OOH GIMME YOUR LOVE *

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH OOH *

[ Girls Screaming ]

[ Laughing ] THERE NOW. THAT OUGHT TO BE SUFFICIENT.

I'M REALLY NOT ONE OF MY FANS, YOU KNOW.

I KNEW WE HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON.

SOMETHING IN COMMON ?

[ Laughs ] OH, YES ! QUITE HUMOROUS.

IF YOU WANT TO TAKE IT THAT WAY.

IT'S TIME FOR YOUR MIDMORNING TEA, YOUR EMINENCE.

OH, YES. FOR THE DAYS WHEN I WAS JUST PLAIN OLD...

PETER ROYCE BENTLEY OF SUSSEX.

OH, WELL. THAT'S THE PRICE ONE MUST PAY, YOU KNOW.

CHEERIO, CHEERIO. [ Girls Squeal ]

* OOH *

TO THE OFFICE, CLYDE. [ Chatters ]

WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, CLYDE !

[ Horn Honking ]

[ Stammering ] CHARLIE, TELL ME I DIDN'T SEE A MONKEY DRIVING THAT ROLLS.

I'M NOT GONNA REPORT THAT TO HEADQUARTERS. THEY'LL THINK I'M CRAZY.

I'M NOT GONNA REPORT IT.

THE CAPTAIN'LL THINK I'M BACK ON THE SAUCE.

UH, LET'S TAKE ANOTHER LOOK. HUH ?

IT'S A MONKEY ALL RIGHT.

SARGE ? SARGE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.RE NOT

BUT CHARLIE AND I ARE TAILING A ROLLS ROYCE...

THAT'S BEING DRIVEN BY A MONKEY.

N-N-NO. SARGE, BY "MONKEY" I DON'T MEAN SOME KIND OF PUNK.

I MEAN A REAL LIVE, FURRY-- R-RIGHT, SARGE.

RIGHT. OKAY, SARGE.

RIGHT.

WHAT'D HE SAY ?

PROMISED NOT TO TELL THE CAPTAIN IF WE'LL GO GET SOME BLACK COFFEE.

YOU KNOW, THAT MONKEY DRIVES BETTER THAN MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

COME TO THINK OF IT, HE'S BETTER LOOKING TOO.

JUST BECAUSE HE PUSHES A RAIL, BIG DEAL.

ANY GREASE MONKEY COULD LEARN THAT. EVEN YOU.

YEAH, EVEN ME. GREAT. NOW YOU'VE REALLY FOUND A SURE WAY TO KILL YOURSELF.

DRAG RACING. SPEAKING OF DRAGS, I HAVE THE FEELING I'M WITH ONE RIGHT NOW.

FRANKIE, IF YOU WANT TO LEARN SOMETHING, WHY DON'T YOU LEARN TO GET YOURSELF A JOB...

NOW THAT SCHOOL'S OUT, OR LEARN TO SETTLE DOWN ?

OH, YOU'RE SUGGESTING A SLOW DEATH.

NO THANKS. WHEN I GO, I WANT TO GO IN A HURRY.

ME TOO. GOOD-BYE.

OH, I SAY THERE. HAVING A SPOT OF BOTHER ?

OH, IT'S NOTHING. OH, BIT OF A ROW WITH YOUR FRANKFURTER, EH ?

WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM, LOVE ?

HE'S GOT SUICIDAL TENDENCIES. HE WANTS TO BE A DRAGSTER.

BIT OF A STICKY WICKET, WHAT ?

I MEAN A CHIPPER FILLY LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T BE A POOR WIDOW.

OH, I AGREE. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY ABOUT BEING A RICH ONE ?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? WELL, UH, I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING YOU FOR MY BIRD.

- BIRD ? - GIRL.

- YOU'RE NO DIFFERENT THAN HE IS. - OH, FIDDLESTICKS AND RUBBISH !

I'M RICH, YOU KNOW ! MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING.

IT IS TO A WIDOW. YEAH.

COME ALONG, DUCK. LET'S HAVE A SPOT OF TEA, EH ? WELL, WHY NOT ?

YES. WHY NOT ?

EIGHTEEN MILLION !

YES. BIT OF A SLOW DAY.

OH, WELL. CARRY ON. COME, LOVE.

GREAT. A POTATO BUG, A CHIMPANZEE, AND NOW THIS.

MY CUP RUNNETH OVER.

[ Woman ] "TODAY'S TEENAGER TRUE SUBCULTURE.

"YOUTH OF TODAY LEAVES NO HOPE FOR TOMORROW.

"YESTERDAY, IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN A PLACE ILLEGALLY CALLED BIKINI BEACH,

"WE WERE WITNESS TO SCENES OF WILD PERVERSION AND ABANDONMENT

"THAT DEFY DESCRIPTION.

"THE SOLUTION IS FOR THE COUNTY

"TO CONDEMN THE SURFING AREA.

"BY MAKING THIS FACILITY UNAVAILABLE TO THESE POTENTIAL DELINQUENTS...

WE COULD PERSUADE THEM INTO MORE USEFUL ENDEAVORS THAN STUDYING EACH OTHER'S ANATOMY.

"IT MIGHT BE FITTING TO WARN RESPONSIBLE PARENTS...

"WHO GREW STRAIGHT AND TALL BY BUILDING OUR CHARACTER ON THE THREE R'S,

"THAT OUR CHILDREN HAVE PROGRESSED TO THE THREE S'S:

SURFING, SPEED AND SEX, NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER."

I DO TURN RATHER A HANDSOME PHRASE. [ Door Opening ]

I'M SORRY, SIR. I TRIED TO STOP HER, BUT--

HOW DARE YOU BREAK INTO MY OFFICE ! DON'T YOU "HOW DARE" ME.

HOW DARE YOU PRINT THIS VICIOUS ARTICLE AGAINST THESE VACATIONING KIDS ?

IT'S UNTRUE, AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR PUBLISHER.

MADAM, I AM THE PUBLISHER. PLEASE IDENTIFY YOURSELF AND EXPLAIN THIS OUTBURST.

YOU MAY GO NOW, MISS SIMMS, AND PLEASE GO GENTLY.

THIS EDITORIAL HAS NO BASIS IN FACT.

WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY DO YOU GET SO WROUGHT UP OVER THESE JUVENILE DELINQUENTS ?

THEY'RE NOT JUVENILE DELINQUENTS ! I RESENT THAT.

AND I RESENT THESE LIES. I'M A SCHOOLTEACHER, AND I KNOW THESE KIDS.

THOSE SURFERS ARE BUILDING STRONG, HEALTHY BODIES,

AND, TOGETHER WITH THE BOYS WHO BUILD THE DRAGSTERS,

THEY'LL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR TOMORROW'S ROCKETS TO THE MOON.S ROCKETS

THAT DOESN'T AUGER TOO WELL FOR THE FUTURE, DOES IT ?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH PHYSICAL FITNESS ? YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME.

I DO NOT DEPLORE PHYSICAL FITNESS, BUT I DO DEPLORE HALF-NAKED YOUNG LADIES,

IF THEY MAY BE CALLED THAT, RUNNING AROUND IN THESE SCANTY BIKINIS.

IMAGINE, BOYS AND GIRLS SLEEPING ON THE BEACH SIDE BY SIDE, UNCHAPERONED.

WHAT KIND OF A SOCIETY IS IT THAT WOULD ALLOW SUCH A THING ?

WHAT KIND OF A MIND IS IT THAT'S ALWAYS READY TO BELIEVE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG ?

YOU NEED AN EDUCATION, MADAM. IT'S MISS. MISS CLEMENTS.

ARE YOU WILLING TO DEVOTE AN AFTERNOON TO SEEING THE TRUTH ?

IS THAT A CHALLENGE ?

IN THAT CASE, IT WOULD BE A PLEASURE.

VERY WELL. I SHALL TAKE YOU TO A TEENAGE HAUNT KNOWN AS...

BIG DRAG'S PIT STOP.

[ Squawks ]

[ Squishing ]

BALL.

QUIET, OR YOU'LL WIND UP ON THE MENU.

BALL THREE.

TOO HIGH. ONE MORE CRACK OUTTA YOU, AND YOU'LL BE TODAY'S SPECIAL.

I JUST CALL 'EM AS I SEE 'EM. YOU BUM.

WHAT A MESS.

[ Bell Dinging ]

ANSWER THE DOOR. ANSWER THE DOOR.

[ Knocking ] I'M CLOSED.

I'M HARVEY HUNTINGTON HONEYWAGON III !

IN THAT CASE, I'M OPEN.

[ Kiss ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A ZOO ?

ONE WOULD ASSUME SO.

THAT'S FRIEDA, MY BIRD. OH, THIS IS CLYDE.

HOW DO YOU DO ? AND MISS CLEMENTS.

HOW DO YOU DO ? HELLO.

RATHER UNKEMPT, I SHOULD SAY.

I'VE BEEN CLEANING UP. I ALWAYS CLEAN UP IN THE DAYTIME,

BECAUSE I ALWAYS CLEAN UP AT NIGHT.

AH. THEN I ASSUME YOU ARE THE PERSON KNOWN AS BIG DRAG ?

YEAH. THAT'S ME, BIG DRAG. PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

OH. [ Chuckles ] OH, EXCUSE ME.

I ALSO DABBLE IN THE ARTS. MR. DRAG, WE'RE ON A MISSION.

A CRUSADE, YOU MIGHT SAY. I DON'T THINK THERE'S ENOUGH ROOM IN HERE FOR A CRUSADE.

DID YOU READ THE PAPER ? PARTICULARLY AN ARTICLE ABOUT THE YOUTH OF TODAY ?

SURE, FIRST THING. RIGHT AFTER THE COMICS.

WON'T YOU SIT DOWN ? WE'RE CLOSED, BUT I GUESS WE'RE OPEN.

SO, UH, WHY DON'T SOMEBODY BUY SOMETHING ?

I'LL HAVE A MARTINI.

WE DON'T SERVE BOOZE IN BIG DRAG'S.

NOTICE THERE ARE NO CIGARETTE MACHINES AROUND EITHER. THIS IS STRICTLY FOR KIDS.

- BEER AND SOFT DRINKS. - I'M WITH YOU, BIG DRAG. MAKE MINE A BEER.

I SHALL HAVE A SOFT DRINK.

STRAIGHT, OR OVER THE ROCKS ? ONE BEER.

MR. DRAG, I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE QUITE AN AUTHORITY ON THE YOUTH OF TODAY.

YOU MEAN KIDS ? I SEE THEM ALL DAY AT THE DRAG STRIP AND ALL NIGHT HERE.

WELL, THEN YOU SHALL BE ABLE TO HELP ME.

THAT ARTICLE WAS ONE OF A SERIES I'M DOING ON THE DEPRAVITIES OF THE YOUTH OF TODAY.

WHAT DEPRAVITIES ? DID YOU EVER SEE THE KIDS AT THE DRAG STRIP ?

CERTAINLY NOT. DID YOU EVER SEE THE KIDS THAT COME HERE ?

- OF COURSE NOT ! - THEN THE AUTHORITY I AM, YOU AIN'T.

MY DEAR SIR, I AM NOT ACCUSTOMED TO BEING TREATED SO CAVALIERLY.

NOR WAS MY FATHER, H.H. HONEYWAGON II,

NOR HIS SAINTED FATHER, H.H. HONEYWAGON I.

YOU SURE COME FROM A LONG LINE OF HONEYWAGONS.

IN OTHER WORDS, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO ME. [ Clyde Grunting ]

NOT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. [ Squawks ].OF EVERYONE.

YES, I DO HAVE ONE THING TO SAY.

I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOUR CLYDE IS LOOKING AT MY BIRD.

WELL, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOUR BIRD IS LOOKING AT MY CLYDE !

STOP PLAYING WITH MY BIRD. COME ON. COME ON, CLYDE.

COME ALONG. [ Chattering ]

STOP IT ! GOOD DAY, SIR !

CLYDE, CLYDE, CLYDE.

[ Bell Dinging ] I SHOULD STAY CLOSED. IT'S BETTER FOR BUSINESS.

HEY ! MY PAINTINGS ARE NOT FOR SALE, SIR.

THERE'S PART OF ME ON THOSE CANVASSES.

IT HURTS ME TO SEE ANYBODY LOOK AT THEM LIKE THEY MIGHT BUY THEM.

I'LL GET IT.

- WHO WAS THAT ? - HE'S A FAMOUS ART DEALER.

HE'S BEEN AFTER MY STUFF FOR A LONG TIME. BUT I WON'T SELL.

BIG DRAG IS FOR THE AGES.

SOMEDAY WHEN I'M GONE, SOME PROUD COLLECTOR WILL SAY,

"LOOK AT THIS ! IT'S A REAL DRAG."

[ Motor Revving ]

[ Crashing ]

[ Crashing Continues ]

MY PLACE !

DONE IT AGAIN, BOSS. YOU STUPID ! FIX IT.

HEY, YOU. STUPID. FIX IT. HEY, HEY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ? WHAT'S GOIN' ON ?

[ Grunting ] WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT ?

WHAT'S GOIN' ON ? YOU'LL KILL SOMEBODY !

WILL YOU GUYS WATCH IT ? YOU'RE GONNA HURT SOMEBODY.

HEY ! ERIC VON ZIPPER LIKES YOU !

AND WHEN ERIC VON ZIPPER LIKES SOMEBODY, THEY STAY LIKED.

HEY, I THINK I HEARD ABOUT YOU.

- THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON. - YOU, I DON'T LIKE.

YEAH. YOU, HE DON'T LIKE. AND WHO ARE YOU ?

J.D. YEAH. THAT'S SHORT FOR JUVENILE DELINQUENT.

LATER YOU WILL GET THE RATS' REVENGE.

RIGHT NOW, I WANNA TALK TO YOU.

YOU ARE MY IDOL.

I SEEN YOUR PICTURE IN THE PAPER, AND I READ YOUR ARTICLE.

[ Clears Throat ]

J.D., HE READ ME YOUR ARTICLE.

BUT I LOVED IT. LOOK WHO'S ON YOUR SIDE.

- I SEEN YOUR PICTURE TOO. - [ Chatters ]

YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT THEM SURFERS IS RIGHT. THEY ARE BUMS.

AND WE ARE GONNA STAMP THEM OUT TOGETHER, 'CAUSE THE SURFERS...

IS THE NATURAL ENEMIES OF THE RATS AND MICE.

RIGHT ? [ Bikers ] RIGHT !

SURFERS IS GIVIN' US A BAD NAME. RIGHT ? RIGHT !

YOU AND ME, WE'RE A TEAM, AND WE'RE GONNA DESTROY THEM.

TOGETHER. WITH VIOLENCE ! WELL, I HAD IN MIND SOMETHING OF A MORE LEGAL NATURE.

YOU SEE ? EVERYBODY LIKES YOU. YOU GOT FRIENDS, AND WE'RE GONNA STICK BY YOU.

WHAT IS THAT BIT ABOUT WATER SEEKING ITS OWN LEVEL ? BIRDS OF A FEATHER, AND ALL THAT.

SIR, I CONSIDER YOU A MEMBER OF THE LOWER CLASSES.

[ Chuckles ] YOU'RE RIGHT !

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT ? I WENT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE THIRD GRADE.

YOU ARE MY IDOL. AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ?

THE RATS AND MICE ARE BEHIND YOU. AND NOW,

ERIC VON ZIPPER IS HUNGRY.

- WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ? - I DON'T KNOW.

LIKE, MAYBE A BIRD SANDWICH.

NO ! I'LL GET YOU SALAMI. IT'LL BE 70 CENTS.

HEY, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND ME.

ERIC VON ZIPPER DON'T BUY. HE TAKES.

THAT'S NOT NICE. I THINK I'M CLOSED.

YOU ARE PUSH ME TOO FAR.

NOW YOU GET THE RATS' REVENGE.

B-B-BUT WAIT ! BUT-- BUT--

NO BUTS ! YOU GONNA HIT HIM, BOSS ?

YEAH, I'M GONNA HIT HIM. BUT-- BUT-- BUT--

NO, NO ! HELP. ARE YOU-- HOLD HIS MOUTH TOO.

[ Muffled Protests ] NOW, YOU HOLD HIS BIRD.

WELL ? HE'S GOT A VERY NASTY BIRD, BOSS.

- WELL, THEN, JUST FORGET IT. - THAT'S SOME PAL YOU HAVE.

JUST HOLD HIM NOW. JUST HOLD HIM.

WHAT, WHAT ? UNHAND THIS MAN, SIR !

TELL YOUR RATS I DON'T WANT THIS GENTLEMAN MOLESTED. RELEASE HIM THIS INSTANT.

YOU-- YOU MAY BE MY IDOL, BUT NOBODY--

NOBODY TELLS ERIC VON ZIPPER NOTHIN'.

YOU SEE, AS LONG AS THE FINGER AIN'T HERE, ERIC VON ZIPPER IS THE KING.RIC VON ZIPPER

WHO IS THE FINGER ? THERE WAS A FELLOW HERE LAST YEAR.

PROFESSOR TYPE FELLOW. AND HE MADE WITH THE FINGER.

CALLED IT A TECHNIQUE. YEAH. SOMETHING LIKE THE HIMMA-- HIMMA--

LAYIN'. LAYIN'. HIMALAYAN SUSPENDERS TECHNIQUE.

VERY POTENT TYPE OF ZEN KARATE THING.

WHAT HE USED TO DO, HE USED TO TAKE HIS FINGER, SEE ?

AND HE WOULD PUT IT BY MY HEAD-- WATCH IT, BOSS.

DON'T WORRY. I AIN'T GONNA DO IT.

HE WOULD TAKE HIS FINGER-- BUT YOU HAD TO HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BRAIN FOR THIS.

AND I HAVE ONE. HE WOULD TAKE HIS FINGER AND PUT IT ALONGSIDE MY BRAIN,

AND THEN HE WOULD PUSH IT, AND-- [ Moans ]

[ J.D. ] THE BOSS DID IT AGAIN. HE GAVE HIMSELF THE FINGER.

- [ Snapping ] - [ Biker ] I THINK HE STRIPPED HIS CLUTCH AGAIN !

HEY, BOSS.

GET THIS STIFF OUTTA HERE.

WHEN BIG DRAG SPEAKS, HE COMMANDS ! AWAY, AWAY !

FRIEDA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ?

GENTLY, GENTLY. DON'T BREAK HIM.

AND STAY OUT ! [ J.D. ] VON ZIPPER WILL RETURN WITH AN ARMY !

I THINK I'M GONNA LIKE YOU, HARVEY.

WHY ? WITH HIM FOR A FRIEND, YOU DON'T NEED ME FOR AN ENEMY.

THEY CALL THAT DRAG RACING ?

I DON'T SEE 'EM DRAGGIN' NOTHING.

MAN, YOU SURE YOU WANNA GO FOR THIS BIT ?

YEAH, JOHNNY. I'M GONNA GO FOR THIS BIT. I'M GONNA GO ALL THE WAY.

THE WINNER: DAVE WILKINS IN HIS SCALLOPER.

TIME: 8.10 SECONDS...

AT 188.66 MILES PER HOUR.

[ Cheering ]

IT'S THE POTATO BUG ! HI !

[ Car Horn Honking ]

HE ACTS LIKE HE OWNS THE WHOLE WORLD.

[ Johnny ] HEY THERE !

WHAT TIME DO YOU LEAVE FOR THE MOON, BUG ?

OH, JOLLY GOOD. YOUR FRANKFURTER HAS COME TO SEE ME PERFORM.

HE'S A CHIPPER SPORT, HE IS. MUST BE A BIT OF ENGLISH BLOOD THERE, I SAY.

I HAVE THE FEELING HE'S HERE TO CHECK ON MY PERFORMANCE.

I WONDER WHAT SHE SEES IN THAT FUGITIVE FROM A BARBER SHOP.

THOSE RAILS ARE ALL SMOKE AND NOISE, MAN.

HI THERE. IT'S A GREAT HONOR TO HAVE YOU HERE, MR. BUG.

SORRY I COULDN'T MEET YOU, BUT I THOUGHT I'D CLEAN UP A BIT.

I OWN THIS PLACE. I'M BIG DRAG.

WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE TO KNOW YOU, MR. DRAG. ABSOLUTELY TOP HOLE.

YEAH. WELL, YOU CAN CALL ME BIG, POTATO.

- AND YOU CAN CALL HIM MR. BUG. - OH.

THE REASON I'M HERE, OLD CHAP, IS THAT I WANT TO TRY OUT MY NEW RAIL...

AND HAVE A SHOT AT YOUR WORLD RECORD.

WHAT IS THAT ?

IT'S ENGLAND'S REVENGE FOR THE BOSTON TEA PARTY.

WELL, ARE YOU ABOUT SET, POTATO ? I MEAN, MR. BUG.

I'D BE CRACKERS IF I WEREN'T, OLD BOY. BE AT THE READY AT ALL TIMES.

CARRY ON REGARDLESS, AND ALL THAT SORT OF ROT.

HE SURE LOOKS GOOD IN THAT SILVER SUIT, THOUGH.

YEAH. WONDER HOW HE'D LOOK IN THAT AMBULANCE ? [ Laughing ]

THEN WE'RE OFF AND SAILING, EH ?

- YEAH. - I'LL GO SHINE UP A TROPHY.

[ On P.A. ] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE.

AS A SURPRISE ATTRACTION, PETER ROYCE BENTLEY, BETTER KNOWN AS THE POTATO BUG,

WILL ATTEMPT TO BREAK HIS WORLD RECORD FOR THE QUARTER-MILE DRAG.

IT'S A BIRD. IT'S A HUNK OF IRON. ANYBODY COULD HANDLE THAT.

FRIENDS, GANG ! LISTEN TO THIS ! THE TIME: 7.9 SECONDS.

TWO HUNDRED AND TWO POINT THREE MILES PER HOUR ! A NEW WORLD RECORD !

[ Crowd Cheering ]

HERE'S YOUR TROPHY, MR. BUG.

OH. SEE WHERE I SIGNED IT ?

BIG DRAG. OH, JOLLY DECENT OF YOU, BIG.

HERE, DUCKS. IT'S ALL FOR YOU, LOVE. BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO. THAT'S A, UH, LOVING CUP, YOU KNOW.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. ONLY IT SHOULD COME FROM HIM.

GOOD, OH. CONGRATULATIONS, AND I'D LIKE TO CHALLENGE YOU.

YOU JOSH. I WOULDN'T, IF I WERE YOU.

I'D SIMPLY CARRY ON WITH THOSE SURFING STICKS YOU FRANKFURTERS ARE SO FOND OF.

I MEAN IT. WHEN I'M READY, I WANT TO RACE YOU.

GOOD SHOW. I LIKE THAT SORT OF SPIRIT.

SIMPLY TOSS ME THE GAUNTLET WHEN YOU'RE READY, AND WE'LL HAVE A GO AT IT. YOU SEE ?

WILL EVERYONE PLEASE CLEAR THE TRACK ?

WE HAVE A NEW CONTESTANT. A MYSTERY DRIVER.

OH, WELL, IT'S OFF TO TIDY UP A BIT. LATER, DUCKS, EH ?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN ! THE POTATO BUG'S RECORD HAS JUST BEEN BROKEN !

THE MYSTERY DRIVER SET A NEW RECORD !

TIME: 7.4 SECONDS...

AT 203 MILES PER HOUR !

[ Cheering ]

MISS CLEMENTS, ONE MOMENT PLEASE.

EXCUSE ME.

I HAVE SOMETHING I WISH TO SHOW YOU.

I'M NOT SO SURE I WANT TO SEE IT.

YOU ARE THE NEW CHAMP, SIR.

I GOT THAT FEELING AGAIN.

[ Guy ] THAT'S A MONKEY SUIT WITH A REAL MONKEY IN IT !

HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

THERE YOU ARE.

IT'S LIKE FRANKIE SAID, ANYBODY CAN LEARN TO DRIVE ONE.

WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO ? MAKE MONKEYS OUT OF US ?

YOU THINK WE AIN'T GOT HONOR ? YOU THINK WE AIN'T GOT DIGNITY ?

NO OFFENSE, SIR. I'M JUST TRYING TO PROVE A THEORY OF MINE.

THIS IS AN INSULT. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN, SIR ?

FOR THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER ?

FOR THE PAPER ? YES.

A PICTURE OF ME ? YES.

WITH HIM ? YEAH.

I'LL BUY THAT. THAT'S FINE.

NOW, JUST PUT YOUR ARM AROUND HIM. VERY FRIENDLY.

THAT'S RIGHT. OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

[ Laughs ] THERE WE ARE.

[ Chattering ]

WELL, MY DEAR. WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW ?

SO YOU TAUGHT A MONKEY TO DRIVE.

BUT HE DIDN'T BUILD THE MACHINE. HE DIDN'T CREATE ANYTHING.

BUT I DID. I CREATED THE IMPRESSION THAT TEENAGERS LIVE IN A SIMIAN WORLD.

AND I BELIEVE I CREATED SOME DOUBT IN YOUR MIND. ISN'T THAT RIGHT ?

ONLY OF YOUR SANITY.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I'D LIKE TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT GETTING MYSELF A RAIL.F GETTING MYSELF

THAT'S ME. BIG DRAG. YOU BETTER ASK HIM ABOUT LEARNING TO DRIVE ONE TOO.

YEAH. HE WANTS TO BE A DRAG, LIKE YOU.

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE ?

A HUNDRED BUCKS. A HUNDRED BUCKS ?

I CAN LET YOU HAVE THIS FOR A HUNDRED BUCKS.

WELL, MAYBE WE COULD FIX IT UP. OH, I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I GOTTA BE FAIR ABOUT THIS.

SOMETHING I SHOULD TELL YOU BEFORE YOU BUY IT.

THE BRAKES PULL BAD TO THE LEFT. THE STEERING WHEEL'S LOOSE, AND THE CLUTCH SLIPS.

AND YOU NEED TWO NEW REAR TIRES. AND YOU SHOULDN'T PULL OUT THE CHOKE.

- WHY NOT ? - BECAUSE IT RELEASES THE PARACHUTE.

- DOESN'T ANYTHING WORK ON THIS CAR ? - THE RADIO'S KIND OF NICE.

MAYBE SOMEBODY COULD LOAN ME A RAIL, OR I COULD RENT ONE.

HEY, YOU LOOK LIKE A FELLOW I USED TO KNOW. HIS NAME WAS JACK SOMETHING.

YEAH. I USED TO BE JACK FANNY.

I HAD A STRING OF MUSCLE MEN WHOSE MUSCLE WAS MAINLY IN THEIR HEADS.

BUT I GOT OUT OF THE FANNY BUSINESS. THAT'S ALL BEHIND ME NOW.

I CAN SHOW YOU A MODEL OVER HERE YOU MIGHT LIKE.

THIS IS A RAIL. IT'S NOT A RAIL LIKE YOU THINK A RAIL SHOULD BE.

IT'S A RAIL BECAUSE IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF "MOTOROCITY."

NOW, LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW OF THE BASIC PRINCIPLES OF MOTOROCITY,

WHICH IS THE WHEEL.

THE WHEEL IS ROUND, AS YOU SEE.

THE REASON THE WHEEL IS ROUND, IS THAT ROUND WHEELS ARE ROUNDER,

AND THE ROUNDER THE WHEEL, THE BETTER.

THEY'RE THE BEST KIND, YOU KNOW.

SINCE A LONG TIME AGO, WE DISCOVERED THAT SQUARE WHEELS...

DIDN'T WORK WELL.

SO YOU SEE, SQUARES ARE SQUARES, AND WHEELS ARE WHEELERS.

NOW, WHEN WE THINK WHEEL, WE THINK ROUND.

HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ?

YEAH. WELL, HOW COME THEY CALL THAT THING A RAIL ?

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH, DO YOU ?

ALL THE GREASY KID'S STUFF HAS SOFTENED HIS BRAIN.

HMM. WOULD YOU LIKE A DEMONSTRATION ?

YEAH.

ROLL IT OUT. ROLL IT OUT.

[ Foot Crunching ] AAAH ! AAAH !

[ Yelping ]

* [ Rock 'N' Roll ]

[ Girl ] IT'S THE WRANGLER STRETCH !

*

*

I SAY, THIS IS A JOLLY GOOD SHOW.

THE ENTIRE ESTABLISHMENT IS LEAPING !

IS THAT HOW ONE PUTS IT, MY DEAR ?

YOU'RE CLOSE. THE TRANSLATION IS, "THE JOINT IS JUMPING."

[ Laughs ] OH, YES.

GOOD SHOW. GOOD SHOW.

- CLYDE LIKES IT. - I'M HAPPY FOR HIM.

[ Frieda Squawking ] AND NOW I TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN PROUDLY PRESENTING...

THE PYRAMIDS ! [ Cheering ]

[ Audience Laughing ]

[ Giggling Loudly ]

LOOKS LIKE A BUG. LAUGHS LIKE A HYENA.

*

* WELL, THEY ALL STAND UP AS HE IDLES BY *

* GONNA CHEER HIM ON FOR THE RECORD TRY *

* BEST RAILS HERE FROM EVERY STATE NOW *

* EVERYONE KNOWS THE COMPETITION'S GREAT NOW *

* RECORD RUN RECORD RUN *

* [ Continues ] PARDON ME, LADY. MISS BUG ?

WOULD YOU CARE TO HIT THE BOARDS WITH LITTLE OLD DEADHEAD ?

MERCI, MONSIEUR HEAD.

IT SEEMS TO BE ONE OF YOUR NATIVE DANCES.

YOU WILL HAVE TO TEACH ME. YEAH. I'D JUST LOVE TO GO NATIVE WITH YOU.

* RECORD RUN RECORD RUN *

* RECORD RUN * ENJOY. ENJOY, LOVE. HURRY BACK.

*

THE MUSIC OF THE YOUTH OF TODAY IS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE JUNGLE.

* THE TREE IS GREEN THERE ISN'T ANY DOUBT *

- * WE'RE GONNA SEE * - THE SAVAGE MUSIC STIMULATES...

THEIR POST-ADOLESCENT PREOCCUPATION WITH SEX.

* [ Continues ] YOU SURE LOVE THAT THREE-LETTER WORD.

* RECORD RUN RECORD RUN *

THESE CHILDREN ARE NOTHING MORE THAN ANIMALS !

COME OFF IT, HARVEY. THEY'RE HAVING FUN.

FUN. NOW, THAT'S A THREE-LETTER WORD I BET YOU NEVER HEARD OF. LET'S JOIN THEM.

I'M HERE STRICTLY AS AN OBSERVER.

I HAVE A FEELING YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN OBSERVER.

LET'S NOT BE VULGAR.

I THINK I'M GONNA ASK CLYDE TO DANCE. AT LEAST HE'S ENJOYING HIMSELF.

OF COURSE HE IS. EVERYTHING HERE IS DOWN TO HIS LEVEL.

IF HE'S HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME, MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE HIM A REAL TREAT.

I BET HE'D GO APE AT THE COCOANUT GROVE.

HEY !

WELL, YOU GOT NO WORRIES NOW.

ERIC VON ZIPPER IS RIGHT WITH YOU TO PROTECT YOU...

IN CASE THEM BEACH BUMS GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU GOT SO LUCKY, HARVEY.

OH, BY THE WAY, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

I'M SORRY I WAS NOT OUT AT THE DRAG STRIP TO PROTECT YOU TODAY,

BUT I JUST WOKE UP FROM THAT HIMALAYAN SUSPENDERS TRANCE.

REALLY ? HOW CAN YOU TELL ?

OH, IT'S EASY. SEE, EVERY TIME I GIVE MYSELF THE FINGER--

OH ! I BETTER NOT, 'CAUSE I GOTTA KEEP MY MENTALITY ON THE ALERT TO PROTECT YOU,

'CAUSE YOU ARE MY IDOL.

WHAT ? OH ! HELLO, CLYDE.

NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. YOU KNOW SOMETHING, CLYDE ? I COULD GET TO LIKE YOU,

'CAUSE YOU'RE MY KIND OF PEOPLE. [ Screeching ]

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT. HE'S VERY SENSITIVE.

OH. OH, I'M SORRY, CLYDE.

WELL, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. I'LL BE RIGHT OVER THERE WITH MY RAT PACK...

IN CASE YOU NEED ANY HELP.

YOU ARE MY IDOL.

BEACH BUNNIES, SURFERS AND DRAGSTERS,

IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO GIVE YOU GREAT PLEASURE.

BIG DRAG IS PROUD TO SAY, RIGHT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR MIDST...

IS A FAMOUS, WELL-KNOWN CELEBRITY.

I GUESS YOU ALL KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT.

- WE WANT POTATO BUG ! - [ Girls Chanting ] WE WANT POTATO BUG !

BY GEORGE, THIS IS JOLLY GOOD OF YOU.

MAKES ME FEEL SUPER, DON'T YOU KNOW !

[ Cheering ]

THIS IS AN UNEXPECTED PLEASURE WE DIDN'T EXPECT, MR. BUG.

I'LL PUT IT IN MY MEMORY BOOK IF I DON'T FORGET. THANK YOU, OLD SPORT !

* OOH * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* OOH * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* OOH * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* OOH * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* HEY, YOU'VE GOT LIPS * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* AND THOSE LIPS THEY NEED KISSIN' *

* HEY, LITTLE GIRL HOW ABOUT KISSIN' ME *

* OOH YOU GOT LOVE * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* AND YOUR LOVE I'VE BEEN MISSING *

* HEY, LITTLE GIRL HOW ABOUT LOVIN' ME * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* I'VE BEEN WAITIN' A LONG, LONG TIME *

* FOR A LITTLE GIRL LIKE YOU *

* NOW AT LAST YOU'RE GONNA BE MINE *

* TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO *

* OOH I LOVE YOU * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* ALL MY LOVE I'LL BE GIVIN' *

* HEY, LITTLE GIRL HOW ABOUT LOVIN' ME TOO * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* OOH *

[ Crowd Whooping ]

* OOH * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* HOW ABOUT THAT *

* HOW ABOUT THAT * * I'VE BEEN WAITIN' A LONG, LONG TIME *

* FOR A LITTLE GIRL LIKE YOU *

* NOW AT LAST YOU'RE GONNA BE MINE *

* TELL YOU WHAT I'M GONNA DO *

* OOH I LOVE YOU * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* ALL MY LOVE I'LL BE GIVIN' *

* HEY, LITTLE GIRL YOU'RE THE GIRL FOR ME *

* HOW ABOUT THAT * * HEY, LITTLE GIRL *

* YOU'RE THE GIRL FOR ME * * HOW ABOUT THAT *

* OOH HEY, LITTLE GIRL *

* YOU'RE THE GIRL FOR ME *

* HOW ABOUT THAT *

HOW ABOUT THAT ? [ Crowd Cheering ]

GOOD GIRL. GOOD GIRL. YES. QUITE SPUNKY.

HE'S GOT A HEAD LIKE GIBRALTAR.

YES, QUITE STYLISH TOO.

SO DON'T WORRY, FRANKIE. A GUY LIKE YOU, YOU GET ANOTHER CHICK LIKE THAT.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. NOT AT THIS TABLE.

I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CHICK. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

HEY, I'M WITH YOU. THAT WAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE A CHICK TO DANCES.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIND A PLACE TO SMOOCH.

AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE'RE ALWAYS THINKIN' ABOUT.

HEY. WHAT AM I SAYING ?

*

*

WOULD YOU TWO LIKE TO BE ALONE ?

*

*

[ Frieda ] LOOK, HERE COMES CREEP.

FRIEDA, KEEP A CIVIL TONGUE IN YOUR BEAK.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, SIR ?

MY ART HAS NO PRICE ON IT.

I MEAN, IT'S PRICELESS.

*

HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS, SPIFFY ? YEAH.

[ Laughing ]

*

I THINK I'LL LOWER THE BRIDGE ON LONDON TOWN. HOLD IT !

WHAT HE'S DOING, YOU CAN DO BETTER.

YEAH ! BUT IF I'M WRONG, DON'T BLAME ME.

THANKS A LOT.

DEE DEE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.

GO AHEAD AND TALK. I MEAN ALONE !

SORRY, OLD CHAP. BUT I'D LIKE TO TAKE DEE DEE HOME.

OH, I THINK IT WOULD BE A SPIFFING IDEA IF YOU TWO WERE TO RECONCILE.

THOUGH I MUST ADMIT I'VE BECOME QUITE ATTACHED TO YOUR YOUNG LADY.

DOUBLE DRAT, I BELIEVE THE WORD IS "POULTRY."

YOU MEAN, "CHICK." ARE YOU SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT, POTATO ?

OH, FIRST NAMES. OH, IT'S TOP-HOLE. ONLY SPORTING THING TO DO.

GIVE THE YOUNG MAN A CHANCE TO DISPLAY HIS CHARMS.

TEST THEM AGAINST MINE. YEAH, COME ON, DEE DEE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

HE'S A RUDE BUGGER, HE IS.

[ Applause ]

IT'S WATUSI TIME !

*

NOW, CLYDE ! [ Chittering ]

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND BUT YOU AND ME *

* WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME THEY WON'T BE HOME UNTIL 9:00 *

* I GOT YOU ALL TO MYSELF UNTIL THEN *

[ Candy Shrieks ] CLYDE'S PEOPLE INVENTED THE WATUSI.

SURE, THEY WERE THE ORIGINAL SWINGERS.

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND BUT YOU AND ME *

* [ Continues ]

NOW, WAIT. HOLD IT. STOP THE MUSIC ! STOP EVERYTHING !

NOW, WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.

WHAT KIND OF A PLACE DO YOU THINK I'M RUNNING ? I'D RATHER NOT ANSWER THAT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN FOR THE NEWSPAPER ?

AGAIN ? YES.

OH, I SUPPOSE YOU NEED THE CIRCULATION. YES.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO-- NO,NO. WE WON'T NEED YOU.

THERE WE ARE. HERE YOU ARE, CLYDE. THAT'S RIGHT. THANK YOU, SIR.

COME ALONG, CLYDE.

OH, EXCELLENT, CLYDE ! EXCELLENT.

TIME WE WENT ALONG, MY DEAR. TOMORROW MORNING'S EDITORIAL...

IS GOING TO BE AN EYE-OPENER FOR THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY.

- I'M WAITING FOR YOUR EYES TO OPEN. - HE'S A SWEETHEART OF A GUY.

[ Inhales, Exhales Deeply ]

IT'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT ? UH-HUH.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THE DAY'S BEEN QUIET ENOUGH TO HEAR THE WAVES.

I'M SORRY I TOOK YOU AWAY FROM YOUR DATE.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO. YOU DIDN'T ?

ALL RIGHT, I DID. BUT I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR LIKING THE BUG.

FOR ONE THING, HE'S FAMOUS. YES.

AND HE'S RICH. YES.

AND ALL THE GIRLS GO APE WHEN THEY SEE HIM. MM-HMM.

THEN WHY ARE YOU WALKING HERE WITH ME ?

BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU.

* EVERY TIME YOU HOLD ME *

* I KNOW IT'S REAL *

* MY HEART ONCE TOLD ME *

* HOW IT WOULD FEEL *

* WHY * * JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME *

* WHY * * EACH TIME YOU HOLD ME *

* WHY *

* BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU *

* EVERY TIME I'M NEAR YOU *

* STARS FROM THE SKIES *

* SOMEHOW APPEAR TO *

* SHINE IN YOUR EYES *

* WHY * * THEY JUST APPEAR TO *

* WHY * * EACH TIME I'M NEAR YOU *

* WHY *

* BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU *

[ Together ] * EVERY TIME WE KISS NOW *

* IT'S PLAIN TO SEE *

* I'M SURE OF THIS NOW *

* YOU WERE MEANT FOR ME *

* WHY *

* SO SURE OF THIS NOW *

* WHY *

* EACH TIME WE KISS NOW *

* WHY *

* BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU *

* BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU *

[ Together ] * BECAUSE YOU'RE *

* YOU *

WELL, I'M GLAD EVERYTHING'S SETTLED. THINGS ARE BACK TO NORMAL,

AND WE CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT DRAG RACING.

HOLD IT. WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT FORGETTING IT ?

I CAN'T BACK OUT OF THAT RACE !

A MAN'S GOT TO STAND BY HIS WORD. I TOLD HIM I'D RACE HIM,

AND THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOTTA BE. THEN HE'LL BACK OUT,

BECAUSE I'LL TELL HIM TO. YOU STAY OUT OF THIS !

ANYTHING YOU SAY, FRANKIE.

AND SO I SAY, THE BEST WAY TO GO FORWARD...

IS TO BORROW FROM THE PAST.

RETURN TO THAT STEADY, RELIABLE COURSE...

CHARTED FOR US BY OUR FOREBEARS.

IF IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR OUR FATHERS...

AND GOOD ENOUGH FOR OUR GRANDFATHERS,

THEN IT FOLLOWS, THAT IT MUST BE GOOD ENOUGH--

[ Door Lock Rattling ] I'M SORRY, MR. HONEYWAGON. I TOLD HER YOU WERE TIED UP.

TIED UP IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM. HE SHOULD BE LOCKED UP !

UH, SHE NEVER LISTENS, MISS SIMMS, BUT THANKS FOR TRYING.

I JUST FINISHED TODAY'SARTICLE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO READ IT ?

I DIDN'T EVEN READ YESTERDAY'S. I PUT IT ON THE BOTTOM OF MY CANARY'S CAGE.

I RESENT THAT. HE HATED IT.

HARVEY HONEYWAGON, I'VE BEEN DOING SOME DIGGING.

AND I FOUND OUT WHY YOU'RE PUTTING THE KNOCK ON THESE KIDS.

FOR PURELY MORAL REASONS IS WHY !

FOR PURELY COMMERCIAL REASONS IS WHY !

YOU'RE TRYING TO BUY UP THAT BEACH PROPERTY SO YOU CAN EXPAND YOUR O.F.H.

AND WHAT IS "O.F.H." ? OLD FOLKS' HOME.

IT IS NOT AN OLD FOLKS' HOME ! IT IS SEA-ESTA BY THE SEA !

YOU MEAN, "FEE-ESTA." THE FEE IS THE ONLY THING YOU'RE INTERESTED IN !

I AM INTERESTED IN PROTECTING MY RESIDENTS FROM AN EVIL ENVIRONMENT.

SEA-ESTA BY THE SEA IS A RESORT FOR SENIOR CITIZENS,

AND I'M GOING TO SEE TO IT THAT THEY GET THE PEACE AND QUIET THEY SO RICHLY DESERVE.

WELL, THEY'RE GETTING IT, ALL RIGHT. IT'S MORE OF A LAST RESORT FOR THEM.

ALL THEY DO IS SIT AND VEGETATE.

HONEYWAGON'S VEGETABLE FARM, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE RUNNING.

NOW, THAT'S REALLY AN INSULT. ALL I'M TRYING TO DO...

IS HELP THESE POOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN FORCED INTO RETIREMENT.

YOU'RE HELPING THEM INTO THEIR GRAVES. WHY DON'T YOU FURNISH SHOVELS ?

I'M DOING WHAT I THINK IS PROPER AND RIGHT.

HARVEY HONEYWAGON, YOU LISTEN TO ME !

YOU'RE HOLDING A DOUBLE-BARREL SHOTGUN.

KILLING OFF THE OLD FOLKS, WHILE YOU KILL OFF THE FUN FOR THE YOUNGSTERS.

I GUESS IT NEVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT THE BEACH IS A PLACE TO LIVE, NOT TO DIE.

HAVE YOU QUITE FINISHED BE-- I'VE FINISHED !

DON'T ASK ME TO LEAVE. I'D RATHER THAT IT WAS MY IDEA.

YOU KNOW, FOR A WHILE THERE, I WAS BEGINNING TO LIKE YOU.

NOW I WISH YOU'D TAKE A ROOM AT THE VEGETABLE FARM AND RETIRE.

I'LL GET THE KIDS TO TAKE UP A COLLECTION. WE'LL SEND YOU A SHOVEL.

[ Door Slams ]

WELL, I'M JUST GOING TO HAVE TO APPEAL TO THE POTATO BUG'S SPORTSMANSHIP.

I BET HE WON'T BE AS STUBBORN AS FRANKIE. [ Scoffs ].RN AS FRANKIE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH DRAG RACING ? I THINK IT'S KIND OF GROOVY.

AREN'T SURFBOARDS FAST ENOUGH FOR YOU, ANIMAL ?

NO. AND NEITHER ARE THE SURFERS.

WOULD YOU TRADE THAT BEAUTIFUL OCEAN FOR A DIRTY OLD RAIL ?

THERE'S ROOM FOR BOTH. NOT IN MY LIFE.

WISH ME LUCK. OKAY. OKAY, BYE.

A LITTLE SHORT IN THE BACK. HOW DO I LOOK FROM THE FRONT ?

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH * YOU'RE THE BUGGIEST LITTLE BUG I EVER SAW.

FROM THE FRONT ! DON'T LET HER GET BEHIND YOU.

OKAY.

THERE SHE IS. WELL, WISH ME LUCK.

GOOD LUCK, POTATO. YEAH ! [ Imitates Potato Bug ]

HI, POTATO ! OH, I SAY.

THIS IS A SPOT OF LUCK, BY GEORGE, DON'T YOU KNOW.

OUT FOR MY EVENING STROLL, THAT SORT OF THING. AND HERE YOU ARE !

A BIT OF LUCK, INDEED ! RIPPING, ACTUALLY.

I WAS JUST ON MY WAY TO SEE YOU. OH, BY GEORGE AND RATHER !

A GIRL AND HER FRANKFURTER SOON PARTED, SO TO SPEAK.

AND ONE IS QUITE FLATTERED, DON'T YA KNOW.

POTATO, DO YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT ? OH-- OH, I-- OH, YES, YES.

T-T-TO-- TOUCH OF SINUS, YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW, THE SEA. AND A STIFF NECK AS WELL, YEAH.

WELL, I WAS REALLY COMING OVER TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.

NOW, WHAT IS IT, LOVE ? POTATO, I WANT YOU TO CANCEL THE RACE WITH FRANKIE.

GOOD HEAVENS, GIRL. YOU JOSH ! YOU CAN'T ASK THAT !

NO. NO. YOU CAN'T ASK AN ENGLISHMAN TO BEND HIS WORD.

AND THERE'S A BIT MORE TO IT THAN THAT, YOU KNOW.

I WOULDN'T MIND HAVING YOU FOR MY BIRD.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WIN THE RACE TO WIN EVERYTHING.

OH, YES. OHH. UH, YES.

THERE ARE OTHER THINGS. INDEED, THERE ARE.

AND, DUCKS, YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL, SHALL I SAY, FRIVOLOUS ?

YOU KNOW, FOGGING UP THE OLD GLASSES.

POTATO, THEN YOU WILL CANCEL THE RACE. DEFINITELY NOT !

A CHALLENGE IS A CHALLENGE !

BUT HERE WE ARE ALL ALONE, AND, UH...

CAN'T YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE ? [ Giggling ]

WELL, ONE IS TEMPTED, MY DEAR.

ESPECIALLY WHEN ONE IS AWARE OF OUR... PROXIMITY.

IT'S YOU I LOVE. ARE YOU REALLY AWARE OF THAT ?

[ Nervous Chuckle ] WELL, ENGLISHMEN ARE NOT MADE OF WOOD, MY DEAR.

WE ARE WELL AWARE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.

HAVE BEEN FOR CENTURIES ! I'D JUST DIE IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU.

UM,YES.WELL,UH-- YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO BACK TO YOUR FRANKIE CHAP.

IT CAN'T BE ALL THAT BAD. HE'S REALLY QUITE A GOOD CATCH.

AND HE SINGS BETTER THAN I DO, ACTUALLY, DON'T YOU KNOW. [ Chuckling ]T YOU KNOW.

YOU'RE JUST BEING GALLANT. THERE'S ONLY ONE POTATO BUG.

OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. MY WORD, DUCKS !

YOU SEEM TO BE WRONG. THERE APPEARS TO BE TWO POTATO BUGS.

[ Giggling ]

[ Giggling Continues ] [ Whistles ]

BY JOVE, I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE EVER KNOWN A WICKET THIS STICKY !

[ Laughs ] I THINK I KNOW WHICH WICKET IS THE STICKIEST AROUND HERE.

NOW, LOVE. NOW, DUCKS. YOU SEE,

ONLY OUR HAIRDRESSERS KNOW FOR SURE. [ Laughs ] [ Chuckles ]

TO THINK THAT YOU COULD STOOP TO SUCH A LOW-DOWN TRICK ! OW.! LOW-DOWN TRICK !

I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN !

I SHOULD SAY NOT, AFTER THOSE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME. I MEAN, TO HIM !

- DID YOU MEAN ALL THAT LOVE JUNK ? - WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW !

- YES ! - I SAY THERE, YOU TWO.

STOW IT, WON'T YOU ? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.

BUT ONE MUST COPE. BE CIVILIZED.

STIFF UPPER LIP AND ALL OF THAT, YOU KNOW. [ Chuckles ]

YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS, YOU BEETLE-EYED BUG !

YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS HE IS. BOTH OF YOU ARE ALWAYS...

TRYING TO FIND NEW WAYS TO KILL YOURSELVES !

WELL I HOPE YOU BOTH MAKE IT !

[ Both ] WHERE DID WE GO WRONG ?

HEY, SO LET'S PLAY ALREADY, HUH, DADDY ?

ERIC VON ZIPPER PLAYS WHEN ERIC VON ZIPPER IS READY.

[ Groans ]

YOU STUPID--

HMM, WOULD YOU MIND ? WOULD YOU MIND ?

[ Pool Balls Clacking ]

[ Groans ]

MM-HMM. [ J.D. ] BOSS.

HEY, BOSS, READ THIS.

YOU STUPID-- OH, I'M SORRY, BOSS. I FORGOT.

UH, I'LL READ IT TO YOU. IT'S BY THAT FELLA, HONEYCART.

HONEYCART, HE IS MY IDOL. I ADORE HIM.

YOU WAIT TILL YOU HEAR THIS. [ Clears Throat ]

IT SAYS, UH, "THIS IS A RETRO-ACTION." WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, BOSS ?

OH, THAT'S WHEN IT'S, UH, I-I-IT--

KEEP READING, STUPID ! OH, YEAH. OKAY.

"THIS IS A RETRO-ACTION OF EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID...

AND AN APE-OLOGY FROM THE FARTHER-EST REACHES OF MY HEART."

TH-THAT'S MY FRIEND. HE SURE WRITES BEAUTIFUL.

"I CONSIDER MY ACTIONS ALMOST MANI-ACLE... [ Growls ]

"AND WANT TO TELL THE PUBLIC THAT ALL THE YOUNG SURFERS...

MAKE OUR BEACHES RING WITH JOY AND LAUGHTER." [ Furious Grunt ]

THAT'S THE WORST STUFF THAT WAS EVER READ TO ME !

WHAT A FINK ! AND I THOUGHT HE WAS A GOOD GUY !

HEY, DADDY, YOU GONNA PLAY THIS POOL GAME OR AIN'T YA ?

YEAH, I'M GONNA PLAY POOL-- DIRTY POOL.-A PLAY POOL--

OUT ! OUT ! NOW MY FRIEND GETS THE RATS' REVENGE !

[ Groans ] OH, I'M SORRY. BOSS.

YOU STUPID--

HOW ARE YA FIXED FOR BLOOD ?

WANT TO PLAY A GAME BEFORE THE MOON COMES OUT ? [ Snarls ]

ALL RIGHT ! JUST TAKE IT EASY. COOL IT, DADDY !

I'LL PLAY BY MYSELF.

"THE PRESENCE OF THESE YOUNG PEOPLE IS A FOND REMINDER TO THE OLDER GENERATION...

THAT THEY WERE YOUNG ONCE AND PERHAPS STILL ARE."

ERIC VON ZIPPER HAS BEEN BETRAYED !

THE GOOD GUYS OF THIS WORLD HAS BEEN BETRAYED !

AND ALL BECAUSE OF ONE FINK ! YOU !

I MUST ASK YOU AND YOUR CURIOUS CONGLOMERATION TO LEAVE MY OFFICE.

WHAT'S HE TRYING TO SAY, BOSS ? IT DON'T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE.

WE LEAVE WHEN ERIC VON ZIPPER SAYS WE LEAVE.

YOU USED TO BE MY IDOL, BUT YOU TURNED INTO A REGULAR ARNOLD BENEDICT.

AND ALL BECAUSE OF A WOMAN. A WOMAN'S WORK IS NEVER DONE, BUT THIS ONE DONE IT !

THEM TEACHERS IS THE WORST KIND.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ? THIS IS A REGULAR DELILAH AND SIMPSON BIT !

I MUST ASK YOU TO LEAVE THESE PREMISES BEFORE YOU AROUSE MY IRE.

- WHAT'S THAT MEAN, BOSS ? - IT MEANS KEEP OUT OF MY OFFICE !

[ Furious Grunt ] THAT DOES IT !

NOW YOU WILL GET THE RATS' REVENGE !

THAT'LL BE A PLEASURE.

[ Clapping ]

Y-Y-Y-YOU CAN LET HIM GO NOW...

'CAUSE VON ZIPPER DOES NOT LIKE VIOLENCE IN FRONT OF BROADS.

BUT VON ZIPPER WILL GET HIS REVENGE,

'CAUSE VON ZIPPER ALWAYS USES HIS HEAD.

HE DONE IT AGAIN. HE GAVE HIMSELF THE FINGER.

COME ON, LET'S GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

ERIC VON ZIPPER WILL GET HIS RATS' REVENGE !

HARVEY, I NEVER REALIZED.

WELL, DEEP DOWN INSIDE, ALL WE HONEYWAGONS ARE FULL OF--

WELL, MUCH MORE THAN ONE WOULD SUSPECT.

WELL, FELLAS, WHAT DO YOU THINK ? ARE YOU KIDDING ?

IT'S THE GREATEST ! [ All Chattering ]

COME ON. LOOK, I KNOW IT'S NOT MUCH, BUT WE CAN MAKE IT SOMETHING !

WELL, WHEN DO WE START ? YEAH ! WHEN ?

WELL, IT ISN'T GONNA BE EASY, BUT WE CAN DO IT.

WE CAN MAKE THIS RAIL FASTER THAN ANYTHING ON THE STRIP!

- BUT IT'S GONNA COST US EVERY DIME IN OUR POCKETS. - [ Johnny ] SO, WHAT'S MONEY?

WHAT WE CAN'T BUY, WE'LL SCROUNGE.

WE'LL TURN THIS INTO SOMETHING SO FAST YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE SMOKE !

THE ONLY ONE WHO'LL SEE THE SMOKE IS THE POTATO BUG.

SMOKED POTATO BUG, YOU GET IT ? YEAH. WELL, LET'S START !

- [ All Chattering ] -HOLDIT!HOLDIT!

HOLD IT.

I GUESS YOU GUYS DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE...

WHEN I TOLD YOU ABOUT MOTOROCITY.

ONE OF THE MOST PRINCIPLED PRINCIPLES OF MOTOROCITY IS GENEROSITY.

THAT'S WHY I, BIG DRAG, AM GOING TO LOAN THIS RAIL... TO HIM.

HEY ! THANKS A LOT ! ME ?

[ Frankie ] THANKS, BIG ! [ Chattering ]

GEE, THAT'S BIG OF YA, BIG. ANOTHER PRINCIPLE OF MOTOROCITY IS...

THAT MORE PEOPLE WANT TO COME TO A GRUDGE RACE THAN ANY OTHER KIND.

BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO MENTION THAT BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE MIGHT THINK...

WE'RE TRYING TO COMMERCIALIZE IN A SPORT THAT DEALS STRICTLY FOR FUNDS.

[ Chuckles ] I MEAN, FUN.

YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, BIG. LOOK AT IT, DEE DEE.

RIGHT NOW IT'S JUST WHEELS AND RAILS.

WHEN THAT FLAG DROPS, IT BECOMES A THOUSAND HORSES !

- AND THAT A LOT OF POWER. - IT'S AN 80-FOOT WAVE, AND YOU RIDE CLOSE TO THE CREST.

NO. NO, THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

THE OCEAN, IT'SWILDANDIT'SFREE. IT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN'T CHANGE.

BUT THIS-- THIS IS AN ENGINE, A MACHINE.

- IT CAN BE CONTROLLED. - IT SCARES ME WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT.

IT'S LIKE YOU WANT TO TAKE EVERY CHANCE THERE IS.

DEE DEE, THAT'S THE WAY WE'VE GOT TO LIVE. THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

YOU RIDE YOUR THOUSAND HORSES, FRANKIE.

I'LL BE BETTING ON EVERY ONE OF THEM.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE IT A TRIAL RUN, FRANKIE ? YOU BET ! COME ON, FELLAS !

COME ON, BOYS. MOVE IT OUT. [ Foot Crunching ]

[ Groaning ]

[ Whimpering, Sobbing ]

* THIS TIME IT'S LOVE *

* I CAN SEE IT IN HIS EYES *

* THIS TIME IT'S LOVE *

* THOUGH IT SHOULD BE NO SURPRISE *

* I'M LIKE A LITTLE CHILD *

* ALL STARRY-EYED AND WILD *

* THIS TIME *

* IT'S LOVE *

* THIS TIME IT'S REAL *

* I HAVE FOUND THE BOY FOR ME *

* THE WAY I FEEL *

* I KNOW IT WAS MEANT TO BE *

* I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN SOMEHOW *

* THE WAY IT WOULD BE NOW *

* THIS TIME *

* IT'S LOVE *

* HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW *

* THAT YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE *

* HOW WONDERFUL TO KNOW *

* SOMEONE CARES FOR YOU *

* OH, THIS TIME IT'S LOVE *

* AND I KNOW EACH TIME WE KISS *

* THIS TIME IT'S LOVE *

* SUDDENLY I'M SURE OF THIS *

* I HAVE THAT CERTAIN GLOW *

* THAT ONLY LOVERS KNOW *

* THIS TIME *

* IT'S LOVE *

* [ Saxophone Solo ]

*

* I HAVE THAT CERTAIN GLOW *

* THAT ONLY LOVERS KNOW *

* THIS TIME *

* IT'S *

* LOVE *

SHH ! AGHHH !

[ Furious Grunt ] YOU STUPIDS !

[ Exclaims ]

NOW, HERE'S HOW WE GET THE RATS' REVENGE.

TOMORROW IS THE GRUDGE RACE, RIGHT ?

[ Rats Shouting ] RIGHT ! WH-WHISPER ! WHISPER ! YOU STUPIDS !

[ Von Zipper ] NOW, WE PUT THE FIX ON THE POTATO BUG'S RAIL.

NOW COMES THE RACE. THE BUG'S RAIL GOES POWIE.

AND THE BUG, HE GETS HIT WITH THE FLIT. RIGHT ?

[ Rats Whispering ] RIGHT ! NOW, EVERYBODY THINKS THAT FRANKIE DONE IT...

ACCOUNT IT'S A GRUDGE RACE, SEE ?

SO EVERYBODY WILL SEE THAT THE VON ZIPPER IS RIGHT AND THAT THEM BEACH BUMS IS BUMS.

RIGHT ? [ Chuckling ] [ Rats ] RIGHT !

ANY QUESTIONS ? WHAT ? WHAT ? UH, YEAH !

HOW DO WE PUT THE FIX ON THE POTATO BUG'S RAIL ? [ Chuckles ]

LISTEN TO THE VON ZIPPER AND YOU WILL LEARN THINGS.

FIRST, WE AMPUTATE THE ELIMINATOR.

THEN, WE ELIMINATE THE AMPUTATOR.

AND FROM THEN ON, IT'S SIMPLE.

[ Grunting ] LET'S GO !

SORRY, BOSS.

THANKS, BOSS. MMM.

[ Grunts ]

WHICH ONE IS IT, BOSS ? [ Chuckles ]

THAT ONE. HEY, IT'S KIND OF GROOVY, BOSS !

CYCLES IS BETTER ! YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.

BY THE TIRE. BY THE TIRE !

GET A SCREWDRIVER. I'LL LOOSEN THIS NUT.

BECCA, WHAT IN THE WORLD IS A DRAG STRIP ?

I HAVEN'T THE FAINTEST, BUT I'LL BET IT'LL BE MORE FUN THAN THE MAUSOLEUM !

[ Laughing ] OH, I'LL BET !

[ Cheering ]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'RE ABOUT TO BLAST OFF WITH THE PRELIMINARY RACE.

[ Cheering ] YOU'RE RIGHT. THIS IS MORE FUN THAN THE MAUSOLEUM.

YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME, FLORABELLA !

THE WINNER IS FORDNEY ALLEN IN HIS MIGHTY MALIBU !

TIME: 8.2 SECONDS...

AT 198.3 MILES PER HOUR !

CLYDE ! CLYDE !

YOU'VE GOT THEM LIVING AGAIN AND LOVING IT.

OH, I'M QUITE BIG WITH THE OLDER TYPES.

YOU'RE QUITE BIG WITH ME TOO.

EVERYBODY GO OVER TO BIG DRAG'S PIT STOP AND WAIT FOR ME THERE...

WHERE WE WILL HAVE THE VICTORY CELEBRATION TO PROVE...

THAT ERIC VON ZIPPER DONE IT AGAIN.

AIN'T YA GONNA GO WITH US ? NO, I'M GONNA STAY HERE FOR THE KILL.

OUT ! OUT ! OUT !

HEY, WAIT !

YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE. THE NEXT EVENT IS THE ONE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

THE MATCH BETWEEN ENGLAND'S CHAMPION, THE FAMOUS POTATO BUG,

AND FRANKIE, OUR OWN LOCAL SURFER.

POTATO !

GOOD LUCK, AND I MEAN IT.

OH, YES, AND MAY THE BETTER MAN EMERGE VICTORIOUS, OLD CHAP, DON'T YOU SEE.

DON'T WORRY, DEE DEE. IT WILL ALL BE OVER IN A FEW SECONDS.

I WISH YOU WOULDN'T PUT IT THAT WAY.

[ Crashing ] [ Screaming ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

[ Explosion ]

[ Chittering ]

[ Siren Sounding ]

[ Sirens Approaching ]

YOU TWO ALL RIGHT ? THAT WAS MY BEST RAIL. I'VE BEEN SABOTAGED.

[ Extinguishers Spraying ]

I-I TOLD THEM TO FIX THE POTATO BUG'S CAR.

THOSE STUPIDS ! [ Frankie ] VON ZIPPER.

IT WAS, LIKE, A MISTAKE. Y-YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ?

VON ZIPPER DID IT. I-I DID ? IT WASN'T ME.

THERE WAS A-- THERE WAS A GROUP, SEE ?

I-I TOLD THEM TO FIX THE POTATO BUG'S CAR. THOSE STUPID--S CAR.

DON'T GO AWAY. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK BECAUSE I KNOW THE KIDS WHO DID IT.

SO, YOU STAY THERE, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK !

HOW DO YOU START IT ? HOW DO YOU START IT ?

[ Engine Buzzing ]

[ Tires Screeching ] HOW DO YOU STOP IT ?

[ Von Zipper ] SOMEBODY, STOP IT !

GET OUT OF THE WAY ! GET OUT OF THE WAY !

YOU'RE IN THE WAY !

GET OUT OF THE WAY !

LOOK OUT ! LOOK OUT !

[ Yelling ]

LOOK OUT ! YOU'RE IN THE WAY !

EVERYBODY BACK IN THE BUS ! FOLLOW THOSE CARS !

[ Distant Buzzing ]

[ Tires Screeching ]

HEY, LOOK OUT ! MOVE OVER !

YOU'RE IN THE WAY !

[ Horns Blaring ] [ Yelling ]

LOOK OUT !

[ Gasps ]

[ Whimpering ]

[ Horn Blaring ]

LOOK OUT !

HOWDY !

WATCH OUT FOR WHAT ? DEADHEAD, WATCH OUT !

[ Engine Revs, Tires Screech ]

[ Engine Backfires, Tires Screech ]

[ Frieda ] OH, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS ?

SHALL WE GET SOME BLACK COFFEE ?

NO, I'M GOING BACK ON THE SAUCE.

[ Engine Stops ] [ Glass Shattering ]

[ Woman Shrieking ]

[ Crashing ]

[ Toilet Flushing ]

OH, THAT STUPID--

WELL, Y-YOU MADE IT, BOSS. SORT OF.

WHOO !

I-- I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT DOOR FIXED !

YOU ! YOU SABOTAGER, YOU ! YOU RAIL DERAILER !

[ Yelling ]

THEY TOLD ME THERE'D BE DAYS LIKE THIS. [ Punch Landing ]

NOW, STOP THAT !

- DON'T, HARVEY ! - THERE HE IS !

THERE'S THE FINK THAT AIN'T OUR IDOL NO MORE !

OUR SIDE NEEDS ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET, MY DEAR. [ Excited Chatter ]

CLYDE ! CLYDE !

[ Big Drag ] PYRAMIDS, PLAY SOMETHING ! PLAY SOMETHING !

UH, WHAT ? YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN, BOSS !

[ Screams ]

[ Screams, Groans ]

[ Screams ] [ Body Thuds ]

[ Chittering ]

CANDY ! COME ON. GIVE 'EM YOUR BIT. THERE !

- MY PLACE, THEY'RE RUINING IT. - [ Chittering ]

[ Squirting ] OH, THEY REALLY ARE RUINING ME !

OH, JOLLY GOOD. YES. [ Giggles ]

OH, HI THERE, DUCKS. SORRY I'M LATE, BUT I HAD TO STOP FOR SOME PETROL.

OH, MY WORD. BACK IN ENGLAND ONE WOULD CALL THIS A SPOT OF THE OLD NASTY. YES.

IN FRANCE WE WOULD CALL IT AN ELECTION.

[ Chittering ]

OH, BIT OF A NEAR THING, THAT.

OH, GOOD SHOW ! LIKED THAT !

OH, I SAY, DUCKS. ISN'T HE ONE OF OURS ? OUI.

YES. [ Chuckles ] EXCUSE ME, OLD BOY.

NOT VERY SPORTING, LAD. [ Laughs ]

I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO YOU.

THANK YOU. IT'S CALLED KARATE, OLD BOY.

OH, HE'S ALL YOURS, DUCKS ! [ Giggling ]!OURS, DUCKS !

HEY, YOUR SHOELACE IS UNTIED !

[ Big Drag ] NOW, STOP IT !

THANK YOU, MY DEAR. NOW, PLEASE REPAIR TO A SAFER PLACE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? [ Babbling ]

[ Babbling Continues ]

[ Chittering ]

WHICH DO YOU PREFER, LOVE ?

HIM. GOOD !

GOOD SHOW ! GOOD SHOW ! ENJOY ! ENJOY !

EXCUSE ME, OLD BOY ? WHAT ? WHAT ? WHAT ?

WHY YOU ROTTEN LITTLE BUG ! I'M GONNA SQUASH YOU !

[ Coughs ]

[ Grunting ]

[ Giggling ] WH-WH-WHAT'S ALL THAT ?

MOST PECULIAR THAT ! YES.

HOLD HER STILL ! HOLD HER STILL !

- [ Punch Smacks ] - YOU STUPID--

- PARCHEEZ ! - WHAT IS THAT, "PARCHEEZ" ?

THAT'S WHAT IT IS, "PARCHEEZ" !

WHAT I WANT TO SAY-- [ Clyde Chittering ]

NOW CUT THAT OUT, CLYDE, OR I'LL RENT YOU A ROOM AT THE ZOO.

IF I DIDN'T OWN THIS JOINT, I'D SUE ME.

YOU STUPID--

[ Whimpering ] NO ! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE !

NOW, PUT THAT BACK ! THAT'S PART OF MY WALL !

[ Both ] THAT'S PART OF HIS WALL !

FIRST MY WALL, NOW MY ART.

HOW MANY TIMES DOIHAVETOTELLYOU. MY WORK IS NOT FOR SALE.

ONE OF THEM IS A MASTERPIECE. I'LL TAKE IT.

IT IS ? YOU WILL ?

THAT'S THE ONE ! [ Chittering ]

BUT, BUT, BUT, BUT-- HAVE IT SENT TO MY PLACE...

AND THERE'LL BE A CHECK FOR $1,000 WAITING.

I MUST TELL VINCENT PRICE ABOUT THIS PLACE.

[ Yelling ]

OH, WHAT MONSTERS.

COME ON, MISS FLORABELLA ! COME-- OH, COME ON ! ALL RIGHT.

WE'VE GOT TO GO. WELL, COME ON. ALL RIGHT.

[ Punch Landing ] [ Chittering ]

HI, CLYDE. [ Grunting ]

HEY, YOU GUYS ! THE BATTLE'S OVER !

VON ZIPPER'S STONED AGAIN ! [ Cheering ]

ALL RIGHT, YOU RATS, GET HIM OUT OF HERE ! GET THAT CREEP OUT OF HERE !

COME ON, BOSS. WAKE UP ! WAKE UP ! HE'S BACK IN THOSE HIMALAYAN SUSPENDERS.

YUP, HE'S DONE IT AGAIN. LET'S GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

THE GREAT VON ZIPPER WILL RETURN !

WELL ! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT ?

I TELL YA, BECCA, THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD...

SINCE BERRY'S NUT FARM.

WELL, HOW'D YOU MAKE OUT, POTATO ?

OH, IT WAS A WONDERFUL SPORT ! SPLENDID REALLY.

I MUST TELL THEM ABOUT THIS UPON MY RETURN TO LONDON TOWN, EH, DUCKS ?

MM-HMM. WE'RE GONNA MISS YA, BUG.

WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS ? OH, JOLLY GOOD, I SHOULD SAY.

LADY BUG AND I HAVE COME TO AN AGREEMENT. WEDDING BELLS AND ALL THAT ROT, DON'T YA KNOW.

HEY, CONGRATULATIONS ! I HOPE YOU TWO DON'T FIGHT AS MUCH AS DEE DEE AND I.

OH, I SHOULD HOPE NOT. I ABHOR FISTICUFFS.

OR, IN YOUR CASE, MY DEAR, "FOOTSICUFFS." [ Chuckles ]

I MADE A DEAL WITH HIM. HE DOES NOT RAISE HIS VOICE TO ME,

I DO NOT RAISE MY FEET TO HIM. [ Chuckles ]

WELCOME TO BIG DRAG'S PIT STOP !

COME ON IN, FOLKS. COME ON IN AND JOIN THE KIDS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CLYDES AND BIRDS AND ALL YOU KIDS.

IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE TO PRESENT TO YOU LITTLE STEVIE WONDER !

[ Cheering, Whooping ]

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT * COME ON, EVERYBODY.

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT * UH-UH, YEAH.

* COME ON, EVERYBODY AND FOLLOW ME * THAT ISN'T THE BUNNY-HOP.

* COME ON, CLAP YOUR HANDS AND SHOUT WITH GLEE, YEAH *

* JUST TAKE OFF BOTH OF YOUR SHOES *

* NOW THAT'S THE WAY TO LOSE YOUR BLUES *

* YA GET A HAPPY FEELIN' *

* WHEN YA DANCE AND SHOUT OH, YEAH *

* COME ON EVERYBODY DANCE *

* I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU GOT TO LOSE *

* COME ON AND TAKE A CHANCE * * DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT *

* 'CAUSE EVERYBODY'S DOIN' FINE * [ Chittering ]

* COME ON, EVERYBODY COME ON AND FORM A LINE * [ Blows Raspberry ]

- [ Chittering ] - * YOU GET A HAPPY FEELIN' WHEN YOU DANCE AND SHOUT *

- [ Screams ] - * WORK IT ON OUT *

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT *

ISN'T THIS THE LIVING END ?

NOT FOR ME, FLORABELLA ! IT'S ONLY THE BEGINNING !

WHOO ! IT ISN'T THE END AT ALL !

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT *

* YEAH, YEAH, YEAH NOW THAT'S THE WAY *

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT *

* YOU KNOW WE'VE GOT A DANCE THAT'S HERE TO STAY *

* DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ON OUT *

* BECAUSE EVERYBODY'S DOIN' FINE *

* COME ON, LET'S ROCK IT ONE MORE TIME *

* BECAUSE YOU GET A HAPPY FEELIN' *

* WHEN YOU DANCE AND SHOUT * * DANCE AND SHOUT WORK IT ALL OUT *

WHAT DID YOU SAY ?

OHHH, NOW I GOT IT. AHA, YEAH !

* OH, YEAH, YEAH *

* LA-UN, DA-UN, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND BUT YOU AND ME *

YEAH !* WE GOT PLENTY OF TIME THEY WON'T BE HOME UNTIL 9:00 *

* I GOT YOU ALL TO MYSELF UNTIL THEN *

* MY MOM AND MY DAD SAY THE TRAFFIC IS BAD *

* MAYBE THEY WON'T BE HOME UNTIL 10:00 * OH, YEAH !

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND BUT YOU AND ME *

YEAH ! * [ Saxophone Solo ]

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU *

* YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME *

* I WANT YOU WHERE I GOT YOU I GOT YOU WHERE I WANT YOU *

* THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND BUT YOU AND ME * YEAH !

* WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME THEY WON'T BE HOME UNTIL 9:00 *

* I GOT YOU ALL TO MYSELF UNTIL THEN *

* MY MOM AND MY DAD SAY THAT TRAFFIC IS BAD *

* MAYBE THEY WON'T BE HOME UNTIL 10:00 * YEAH !

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *

* LA-DA, DA-DA, DA-DA-DA DA-DA *