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Mac: A reading from the holy
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Bible.
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Genesis, chapter one.
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"God created the heaven and the
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earth, and the earth was without
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form and void, and darkness was
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upon the face of the deep..."
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Dennis: Hey, buddy, do we
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have to be kneeling this entire
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time?
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Dee: Yeah, this is not
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comfortable.
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I mean, it's gonna get
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uncomfortable.
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Yes, you need to be kneeling.
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It's 11:58, and Mac day's about
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to officially start.
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I want there to be ceremony.
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Frank: Are we gonna be in the
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dark the whole time?
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My goodness, this is a lot of
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complaining.
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Charlie, can you please remind
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everyone of the rules?
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Charlie: We are about to
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officially begin Mac day.
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For the entirety of this day, we
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will forced to do everything Mac
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wants us to do.
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And if anyone is caught
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complaining?
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An extra day is added to Mac
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day.
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If you cannot resist the urge to
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complain, you are allowed one
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scream a day to the ceremonial
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screaming pillow.
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That's right.
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Charlie, when it was your day,
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did I complain about searching
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for goblins for ten hours
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straight?
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Well, ghouls, and, no, they
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didn't complain, 'cause we found
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three. It was pretty sweet.
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We found none.
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Yeah?
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We found no ghouls, we found
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no goblins, we found no
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gremlins, because they don't
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exist.
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Well...
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Guys, this whole thing was
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meant to bring us closer
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together, and by the end of it,
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you're gonna feel a little bit
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closer to me, and if I've done
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my job right, a little bit
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closer to god.
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Yes.
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Because I've modeled my day
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after the seven days of god's
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creation, making my one day feel
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like an entire week.
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Oh!
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Come on, man. Really?
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Oh, come on, will you?
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For crying out loud, my knees
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are...
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(Overlapping chatter)
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Three, two, one, begin!
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On the first day, god said, "let
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there be...
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Mac."
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Seven straight hours of
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lecturing?
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Yeah, and five hours alone
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dedicated to the evils of
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homosexuality... from him?
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Did anyone else notice that
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he had an erection the entire
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time?
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Of course.
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How could you miss it?
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I mean, it was, like,
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shooting...
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it was right there.
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Shh, shh, shh... here he comes.
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Okay, guys, I want to
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introduce a new theme to the
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day.
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So I'd like to infuse the
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religious angle with the theme
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of badass.
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And I quote once again from
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Genesis.
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"And god said, 'let there be a
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firmament in the midst of the
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waters, and let it divide the
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waters from the waters.'
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and god made the firmament and
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divided the waters which were
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under the firmament from the
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waters which were above the
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firmament.
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And it was so."
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There you have it.
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There we have what?
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Uh, the what...?
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What are you saying?
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It's water.
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I'm saying "water," 'cause it
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said water, like, eight times.
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So, it's water.
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That's what the whole thing is...
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Water.
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Water what?
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Water and badass, badass
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and water.
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Ah.
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Yes!
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We're doing a project badass
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video over the schuylkill river.
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Yes! Yes!
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Ah!
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Yes!
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Ah.
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All right! Hey!
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Do you guys hear the
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motorcycle?
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I have another special surprise.
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We will be joined by my cousin
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all day!
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Your cousin?
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Yeah, my cousin from the
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country.
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I haven't seen him in, like,
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forever, but, guys, trust me.
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He's, like, the second biggest
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badass I know, so, it's gonna
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be awesome.
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Country Mac coming to the big
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city.
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(Frank groans)
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Country Mac!
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Country Mac: Hey, city Mac!
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(Laughter)
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(Both make wind-whipping sounds)
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(Wind-whipping sounds continue)
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Holy shit, there's two of
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them.
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Okay, I think I like this
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framing.
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I don't even know what it is
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you want us to do.
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Well, I'm gonna jump from the
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strawberry mansion bridge.
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What?!
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Yes!
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Holy shit!
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What do you mean, from it?
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To the water?
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What?!
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Yeah, I'm gonna jump from the
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top of the bridge to the water.
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Okay, I need you to act like
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concerned citizens, but I need
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this to feel real, okay, guys?
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So, I need you to be neutral
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about the jumper prior to the
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jump, 'cause you don't know me.
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You don't know this man.
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But I need you to react at the
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same time because I need to draw
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the jump in later to match your
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reaction.
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You lost me there.
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What do you mean, "draw the
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jump?"
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You're not jumping?
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No, I'm not gonna jump.
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Of course I wouldn't jump.
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I draw it in later because it's
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like a post effect.
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Well, what's badass about
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that?
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Your reaction is badass, you
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know?
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I want you to scream, "badass!
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You know, that dude is badass!
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I've never seen anything as
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badass as that." You know?
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Oh...
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But don't say my name, 'cause
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you don't know this man.
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That's why it feels real, you
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know?
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Now, later, if you want to do,
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like, a Rudy-type situation
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where you carry me through the
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streets of Philadelphia, you
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know, that's cool.
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We won't.
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I can put that in the
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schedule.
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It's not a post effect?
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No, that's a practical
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effect, that would happen real,
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but only if it's organic, you
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know?
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This is a goddamn mess, this
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whole thing's a goddamn mess.
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I'm lost, I'm lost.
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You guys lost?
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You're not gonna be badass,
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but you're gonna...
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And we're not gonna react?
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This is all sounding a little
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bit like a complaint from you
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guys.
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Who's complaining?!
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We don't know what's going on!
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We don't know you.
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(Chanting): Mac! Mac! Mac!
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Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac! Mac!
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Badass! Badass! Badass!
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All: Badass! Badass!
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All right, country Mac, let's
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do...
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Keep it going. Keep it going.
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All right.
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Let's do this! Let's do this!
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Badass.
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Badass.
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(Dennis screams)
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It's pretty high, it's good.
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It's excellent, it's gonna be
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great.
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You better jump quick before
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somebody tries to stop you.
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Trust me, no one's gonna try
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and stop me.
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Jump, asshole!
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Yep. See, in the big city,
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nobody cares whether you live or
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die.
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Jump, you pussy!
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All right, have a nice day.
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Okay, so, I'm gonna run to the
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end, book as fast as I can to
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the fence, climb up to the top,
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stop, climb back down to safety.
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That's it.
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So, you're not gonna jump?
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I don't jump, okay?
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Why does everybody think I jump?
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Nobody jumps.
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Evel knievel didn't jump.
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Johnny Knoxville doesn't jump.
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Okay, this is big Hollywood
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stuff, okay? Just stand back.
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I don't want you to get hurt.
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Let me handle it.
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Oh, wow! Oh, there's a man
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standing on the bridge.
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What?!
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Yes, he looks like...
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Look at that.
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His name is Mac.
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No, we don't know his name.
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We don't know it.
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Oh.
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His name is Rudy, I believe,
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you guys.
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That's what it was... Rudy.
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We don't know what his
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name is, and that's okay, but we
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don't know each other. Hi.
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How are you?
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Nice to meet you.
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Oh, hi, hi, but it looks like
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he may commit suicide.
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Ah!
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Oh!
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Suicide is badass.
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Right!
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No, no, no, no, Rudy's not
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trying to kill himself.
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We don't know his name.
290
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:04,331
He just likes to jump,
291
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:04,965
I guess.
292
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:05,533
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
293
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:06,199
Mac is the one who's the
294
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:06,934
badass, remember that.
295
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:07,568
Badass.
296
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,436
No, we don't... will you
297
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:09,102
stop, stop, stop?
298
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,070
Everybody stop. Come on, guys.
299
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:10,738
What are we doing?
300
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:11,572
I don't know what we're
301
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,205
doing.
302
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:12,873
We got to get on the same
303
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:13,373
page.
304
00:06:13,407 --> 00:06:13,874
It's so unclear.
305
00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:14,575
He gave us, like...
306
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:15,142
Don't know what we're doing.
307
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:15,843
Maybe just you talk.
308
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:16,410
Well, whatever it is, we got
309
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,210
to get on the same page.
310
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:17,911
Otherwise, we're gonna have to
311
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:18,846
do it over and over and over...
312
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:19,513
(Water splashing)
313
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:20,347
Did someone just go plop?
314
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:20,948
Looked like it.
315
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:21,782
Someone just jumped.
316
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,016
Someone jumped.
317
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:23,851
He jumped! That's it!
318
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:24,852
He jumped, guys! He jumped!
319
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,187
The day's over, the day's over.
320
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,231
Country Mac is gone, he's dead.
321
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,056
Let's get out of here.
322
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:29,957
Look! Look, look, look!
323
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:30,958
What? What? Oh.
324
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:32,092
Whoa!
325
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,060
Oh, holy shit! Oh, my god!
326
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,127
Oh, wow! Wow!
327
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,029
Whoa!
328
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:36,964
Well, how'd that look?
329
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:37,965
Oh, amazing! All right!
330
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:38,899
How did it look?
331
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:39,867
How'd it look? Badass!
332
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,868
It looked badass, dude.
333
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:41,869
I cannot believe you jumped.
334
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:42,870
Whoa!
335
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:43,804
No, that's not really
336
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:44,805
badass, guys. That's dangerous.
337
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:45,806
Um, can we put him on our
338
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:46,807
shoulders and parade him around
339
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:47,975
like Rudy?
340
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:48,909
I'm feeling that now.
341
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:49,910
I want to do that.
342
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:50,911
I'm feeling that now.
343
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,045
Yeah, yeah...
344
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:52,913
(Overlapping chatter)
345
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:53,914
No, no, no, no, no, I don't
346
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:54,958
think that's gonna work anymore.
347
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:55,916
That's not gonna fit into our
348
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:56,884
schedule, you know? I mean...
349
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,885
I mean, it was your idea...
350
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,786
(Overlapping chatter)
351
00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,720
No, we're very full.
352
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:00,554
We're very full now.
353
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:01,489
This is not gonna play.
354
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:02,566
We're gonna move on to day four
355
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,657
now.
356
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:04,658
Well, wait, wait, wait, wait.
357
00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:05,559
You skipped day three.
358
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:06,494
Uh, day three is when god
359
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:07,495
created trees and grass and
360
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:08,729
nature.
361
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,663
You know, kind of a bullshit
362
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:10,664
day, so we're gonna move on to
363
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,632
day four where god created the
364
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:15,368
stars.
365
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,240
If you look at the Orion
366
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,441
constellation and then track
367
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,910
across to the big Dipper, you'll
368
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,112
see a gaseous, cloud-like area.
369
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,189
(Quietly): Okay, I'm gonna
370
00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,748
need you guys to go ahead and
371
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,316
ignore everything that this
372
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:31,018
clown is saying.
373
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,786
God created the stars 5,000
374
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:33,787
years ago.
375
00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:34,788
Uh, who has the pillow?
376
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:35,789
I need a pillow.
377
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:36,790
(Can clicks open)
378
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,191
I think I thought of a way
379
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,192
that we can work day three into
380
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,260
this experience.
381
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,095
No, we're on day four.
382
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,272
And, besides, there's no trees
383
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,665
or herbs in the planetarium.
384
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,933
But there's herb.
385
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:46,934
Hmm?
386
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,335
Who wants to smoke a "j"?
387
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,937
Oh, shit. You brought weed?
388
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,180
No, no, no, we're not smoking
389
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,272
weed, okay?
390
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,273
It's still illegal in the state
391
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,274
of Pennsylvania.
392
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,275
Puff, puff, pass, bitches.
393
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,276
Yeah.
394
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,277
Yeah, come on, Mac, shut up.
395
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,512
I thought you were a badass.
396
00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,613
(Sighs) There's nothing
397
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,824
badass about breaking the law,
398
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:01,849
Charlie.
399
00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,450
(Coughs) This is gonna make
400
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,685
it way more fun, dude.
401
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:05,819
This isn't about fun.
402
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:08,055
It's about fearing god, okay?
403
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,056
I'm trying to convert you guys.
404
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,057
Oh, my god, is that what this
405
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,058
is about?
406
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,059
You're not gonna convert me in
407
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,060
one day.
408
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:14,061
I don't believe in god.
409
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,128
Well, you should.
410
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:16,205
Because if you don't, god will
411
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,866
make a flood or a famine, okay?
412
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,000
He will destroy you with
413
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,501
tornadoes and earthquakes and
414
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:22,670
aids.
415
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,671
Where do you think aids came
416
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,672
from?
417
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:25,673
Uh, hello, god's gift to the
418
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,674
gays.
419
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,675
Oh...
420
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:28,676
Oh, my god.
421
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:29,677
You're gonna ruin this high,
422
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:30,678
dude.
423
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:31,679
Mac, I think you're a little
424
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,880
confused there.
425
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,048
I mean, yeah, sure, bad things
426
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,083
do happen.
427
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,218
But what about sunsets?
428
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,887
Oh...
429
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,154
French kisses.
430
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,222
Oh...
431
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,323
The smell of rain.
432
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,558
Yeah.
433
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:45,893
That's why I believe in god.
434
00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:48,095
Yeah.
435
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:49,697
Not because of the things
436
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,264
that he takes away from us but
437
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,265
because of the things that he
438
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,601
gives to us.
439
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:54,602
Oh... dude.
440
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,936
Shit, dude.
441
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:56,937
You just ripped a hole in my
442
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:57,938
mind.
443
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:58,939
See, that's the god I l...
444
00:08:58,972 --> 00:08:59,940
I like that.
445
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:00,841
I'm choosing that one.
446
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,842
Excuse me, who's talking back
447
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,843
there?
448
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,511
Shut up, science bitch.
449
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,080
(Charlie, Dennis, Dee laugh)
450
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:08,448
Yeah. Yeah, shut up, science
451
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,449
bitch!
452
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,450
Aw, dude, dude, dude.
453
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,418
Come on, man.
454
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:12,252
He just said it.
455
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:13,086
He just said it.
456
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,556
He just did it.
457
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:19,727
(Whirring)
458
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:23,964
Oh. What the hell?
459
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,232
(Machine bangs)
460
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,234
Carbs-wise, this is gonna set
461
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,277
me back, but I don't even give a
462
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,269
shit.
463
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,370
(Machine bangs)
464
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,371
Yes.
465
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,372
Country Mac's awesome.
466
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,206
Yes.
467
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,207
Yeah.
468
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,208
This weed that he gave us is
469
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,209
awesome.
470
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,044
It's...
471
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,045
Yes.
472
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,446
Yeah.
473
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:40,714
All these years I've been
474
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,751
feeling like I hate karate.
475
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,252
And, like, I hate project
476
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:49,923
badass and, like... I hate god.
477
00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:50,958
Yes.
478
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:54,728
But, like... I realize...
479
00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:57,264
You know what I really hate...
480
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,667
Is Mac.
481
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,834
Yes.
482
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,502
Like, he's made all those
483
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,838
cool things suck.
484
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:05,906
Not only is he, like,
485
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,441
rui... ning my life...
486
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,143
But with all this god shit that
487
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,912
he's into...
488
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,013
He could be ruining my
489
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,247
afterlife.
490
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,416
Yes.
491
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,584
(Mac grunts)
492
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,585
I thought that one was
493
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:19,586
gonna...
494
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,955
Let me try.
495
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,930
So...
496
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,899
Yeah, I get that.
497
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,372
Okay, I feel like we got a
498
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,373
little bit off the rails back
499
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,450
there, but I'm ready to get back
500
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:42,275
on.
501
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,276
Dude, did you guys see the
502
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,277
way country Mac was riding his
503
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,278
motorcycle?
504
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,113
Badass, dude!
505
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,114
No, it was reckless once
506
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,115
again.
507
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,116
I thought it was awesome!
508
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:49,983
He was like Batman, just
509
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:50,951
zipping through the cars.
510
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:51,952
He beat us here by, like, an
511
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:52,786
hour.
512
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:53,787
Oh, I want to get a
513
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:54,788
motorcycle, man.
514
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:55,622
Dude, we should all get
515
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,623
motorcycles!
516
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,624
Okay, that's enough! Okay?
517
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,458
Enough about country Mac.
518
00:10:58,491 --> 00:10:59,459
It's still my day.
519
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,460
Yeah.
520
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,294
Thank you.
521
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,229
On the fifth day, god made fish,
522
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,306
so we'll just skip right past
523
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:04,131
that.
524
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,132
Yeah, we'll skip that.
525
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,133
You're skipping a lot of days,
526
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:06,967
dude.
527
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:07,968
Well, you can't fit it all
528
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:08,969
into one day.
529
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:09,803
That's preposterous.
530
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:10,804
You're the one who came up
531
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,015
with the structure, so... that's
532
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,006
preposterous.
533
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,007
All right, on the sixth day,
534
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:15,843
god created the beasts of the
535
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:18,145
earth and he made man in his own
536
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,713
image.
537
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:23,150
And beholdeth... the image of
538
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,651
god.
539
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,720
(Techno music playing)
540
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:30,590
Oh, shit.
541
00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:31,759
Okay, everybody grab some
542
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,493
grease.
543
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,862
Why?
544
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,039
Because we're gonna grease up
545
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,064
these beefcakes.
546
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,332
No! No! Come on! No!
547
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,500
Easy, frank.
548
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,869
Frank, you better take it easy!
549
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,737
Listen! These guys work off
550
00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:44,781
their beautiful glutes for our
551
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:45,773
enjoyment, okay?
552
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,174
The least we can do is pay them
553
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,543
back in tan and grease.
554
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:51,544
(Sighs) Greasing dudes.
555
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,545
Yep.
556
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,622
That's why we're here today.
557
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:54,614
I ain't doing this!
558
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,892
About time you guys got here.
559
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:56,917
Hey, there you are.
560
00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:58,351
Country Mac, man. Hey, bro.
561
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,352
Listen, dude, can you get us out
562
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:00,353
of here?
563
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,354
Yeah, you got to get us out
564
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,255
of here, man.
565
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:03,356
Get out of here?
566
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,357
I'm lovin' it.
567
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,434
I've been gettin' phone numbers
568
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:06,426
left and right.
569
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:07,627
Oh, sweet, there's chicks
570
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:08,628
here?
571
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,630
Chicks? No.
572
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:11,631
Dudes.
573
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:12,632
I'm into dudes.
574
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,735
Oh... you're gay.
575
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:16,736
Loud and proud, brother.
576
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:17,570
Loud and proud.
577
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:18,614
Yeah, ain't nothing wrong with
578
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:19,606
that.
579
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:20,607
There's nothing wrong with
580
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,441
that.
581
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,485
Honestly, it's, like, refreshing
582
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,310
to hear.
583
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,311
You know what, happy hunting,
584
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,612
bro, get after it.
585
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,613
Cool, cool, cool.
586
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:27,656
I'll see you all in a little
587
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:28,648
bit.
588
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:29,482
Cool, yeah, yeah.
589
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,450
See, he doesn't want us to
590
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,284
grease them, you know?
591
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,119
God, that's awesome.
592
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:33,086
Because he wants them.
593
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:33,821
It Doe... right.
594
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:34,822
He wants them for himself.
595
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:35,823
It's so much more comfortable
596
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:36,790
when someone's gay and open
597
00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:37,624
about it.
598
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,625
And, like, I know we've never
599
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:39,492
said this as a group, but...
600
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:40,327
Mac's gay.
601
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,161
Yeah, Mac's gay.
602
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:41,995
He's gay.
603
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:42,830
He's gay.
604
00:12:42,863 --> 00:12:43,730
I mean... okay... smiles.
605
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:44,497
Hey! Hey!
606
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,498
What's with all the chitchat?
607
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:46,499
Legs and hammies are drying up
608
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,334
by the second.
609
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,335
We got stoned and we're
610
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,336
uncomfortable.
611
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,337
We're trying to deal with the
612
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:51,171
whole thing.
613
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,172
You guys need to start
614
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:53,282
greasing some dudes or I'm gonna
615
00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:54,107
freak out, all right?
616
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,151
I'm gonna freak out, and I'm
617
00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:56,143
gonna add another day!
618
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:57,010
No, no, no. We'll grease,
619
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,011
we'll grease, we'll grease.
620
00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,012
We're ready to grease.
621
00:12:59,046 --> 00:12:59,847
Give me the grease.
622
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:00,848
We'll grease the dudes and...
623
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:01,849
Okay, that's what I like to
624
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:02,850
hear.
625
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:03,851
But don't blow your wads on
626
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:04,852
these guys, okay?
627
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:05,685
I mean...
628
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:06,686
We still have the karate
629
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:07,687
tournament.
630
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:08,832
We're gonna watch you fight?
631
00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:09,489
Fight? No.
632
00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:10,323
No, day seven is god's day of
633
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:11,524
rest and judgment.
634
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:12,798
So I'm gonna sit back and watch
635
00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,494
and judge everybody else in the
636
00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:15,495
tournament.
637
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:16,496
Hey, Mac.
638
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,832
I'm drying up over here.
639
00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:19,833
Sorry, big moe.
640
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:20,834
Sorry about that.
641
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:21,835
I'll be right there.
642
00:13:21,869 --> 00:13:22,836
Get to work. Get to work.
643
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:23,670
Come on.
644
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:24,671
Yeah, okay.
645
00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:25,672
All right.
646
00:13:25,705 --> 00:13:26,673
Yeah.
647
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:27,507
All right, bud.
648
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:28,508
He's got the boner again.
649
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,509
Yeah. Yeah.
650
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,510
Well, at least this time it
651
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,511
makes sense, huh?
652
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,345
Hmm.
653
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,680
All right, listen.
654
00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:34,948
I got an idea.
655
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:37,851
*
656
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,889
Ooh, I don't know about this.
657
00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:43,023
This doesn't feel right.
658
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,024
No, this is good.
659
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,025
This is gonna be good for him.
660
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,026
I promise. This is the only way.
661
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,694
Oh! Hey.
662
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,967
I got you guys all notebooks
663
00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,063
and pens.
664
00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:51,064
We're gonna start with the
665
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,065
yellow belts 'cause it's an
666
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,066
inferior class.
667
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,067
Actually, we've got a
668
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,068
surprise for you, Mac.
669
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,069
Yeah. We signed you up.
670
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,070
You're competing.
671
00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:57,905
Huh?
672
00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:58,906
You're gonna go fight a guy.
673
00:13:58,939 --> 00:13:59,907
A black belt actually.
674
00:13:59,940 --> 00:14:00,908
You're in the tournament.
675
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,042
No, no, i-i don't think
676
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:02,876
that's a good idea.
677
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:03,877
Mostly because I don't have the
678
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:04,878
right gear, and I'm not...
679
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:05,879
You're wearing a gi.
680
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:06,746
You are wearing a gi.
681
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:07,714
Yeah, that is the gear.
682
00:14:07,747 --> 00:14:08,715
That's the only gear.
683
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:09,716
I notice you're also wearing
684
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:10,717
a black belt.
685
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:11,718
Now, you are a black belt,
686
00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:12,552
correct?
687
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,553
Um, not technically.
688
00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:14,597
Um, only because I haven't
689
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,555
subscribed to one... discipline.
690
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,489
But you are good enough to
691
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:17,257
fight in a black belt
692
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,258
tournament.
693
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,402
'Cause you're wearing a black
694
00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,393
belt.
695
00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,228
Of course.
696
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:22,229
Shit, Mac, you can do it.
697
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,230
Just go right for the guy's
698
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,064
throat.
699
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,065
I know I can do it.
700
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,066
That's not the... I feel like
701
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,067
you're talking a lot throughout
702
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,068
the day.
703
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,069
I know I can do it.
704
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,070
So if you can do it, then do
705
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:30,904
it.
706
00:14:30,938 --> 00:14:31,948
I'll sign up if Mac doesn't
707
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:32,940
want to.
708
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:33,773
I'm gonna do it.
709
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:34,774
I said I was... I was never not
710
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:35,775
gonna do it.
711
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:36,776
I'm excited.
712
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:37,610
Yeah.
713
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:38,611
I-I'm really excited to see
714
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:39,612
this, man.
715
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,248
You are gonna kick that guy's
716
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,416
ass, whoever he is.
717
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,020
*
718
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,256
(Mac making whizzing noises)
719
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:53,927
(Exhaling)
720
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:55,762
(Exhales)
721
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:56,763
This is cruel.
722
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:57,597
Oof.
723
00:14:57,630 --> 00:14:58,598
I can't watch it, you know?
724
00:14:58,631 --> 00:14:59,599
Trust me, this is for his own
725
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:00,600
good.
726
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,601
If he doesn't face this now, he
727
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:02,602
never will.
728
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:03,646
Yeah, it's too bad, but he's
729
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:04,871
got to get his ass kicked.
730
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:05,872
Yep. It's time for this to
731
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,274
end.
732
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,775
Hi.
733
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:11,311
Okay, now bow.
734
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,880
Not to me, karate kid, to him.
735
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,148
Oh.
736
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,483
Bow.
737
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,218
Bow.
738
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,620
Ready. Fight!
739
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:23,323
(Audience chattering)
740
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,324
(Performing kiai)
741
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,325
(Screams)
742
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,493
Block, point, Mac!
743
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,494
Shit.
744
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,661
Guys, did you see that?
745
00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:30,130
I got a point! I got a point!
746
00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:31,631
(Grunts)
747
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,166
Oh!
748
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,168
Hell, no.
749
00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,141
(Indistinct shouting)
750
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,312
Oh!
751
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:47,314
(Grunting, shouting)
752
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,983
(Woman screams)
753
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,951
(Country Mac yelling)
754
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,189
(Yelling)
755
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:01,861
(Laughing)
756
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:02,862
That was badass!
757
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:03,973
He kicked the shit out of
758
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:04,964
that guy!
759
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:05,932
Well, I got the actual point.
760
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:06,933
Who cares? You lost.
761
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,601
Country Mac won.
762
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,602
Yeah, but it's about the art,
763
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:10,603
okay?
764
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:11,704
Oh, the art.
765
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:13,506
You got your ass kicked...
766
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,507
That's what happened.
767
00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:15,775
I scored an actual point in
768
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,709
an actual karate tournament and
769
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:17,644
against an actual black belt.
770
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:18,611
Country Mac beat the shit out
771
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:19,688
of that guy with a beer and his
772
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:20,680
t-shirt.
773
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,648
Yeah, and where is he always
774
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,482
getting those beers, man?
775
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:23,383
That's the most badass thing
776
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:24,384
about...
777
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,494
Out of the blue, he gets a
778
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,486
beer.
779
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,055
No, it's years of training
780
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,056
finally paying off, and an
781
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,390
uncontested black belt point is
782
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,391
the most badass...
783
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,392
Oh, my god, we're never gonna
784
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:33,393
hear the end of this.
785
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:34,394
Stop, stop!
786
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,395
Hold on a second, Mac.
787
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,796
No, no. Listen, you got your ass
788
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:37,664
kicked today... that's what
789
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:38,531
happened, plain and simple.
790
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:39,575
So I want you to admit it.
791
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,400
Dennis, don't.
792
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,234
The day's almost over.
793
00:16:41,268 --> 00:16:42,235
We only have a couple of hours.
794
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,236
No, n-n-n-no, Dee, we have a
795
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,237
lifetime of this to look forward
796
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,238
to, and I for one can't stand
797
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:46,239
it.
798
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,407
You are not a badass, pal.
799
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,975
Admit it to us right now.
800
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:49,976
Get on your knees!
801
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,044
You are not a badass!
802
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,045
Oh, my god!
803
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,046
Hey, what's wrong with you,
804
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,047
guy?
805
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,382
You got a problem?
806
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,016
You got the problem, asshole.
807
00:16:57,050 --> 00:16:58,017
Look out!
808
00:16:58,051 --> 00:16:59,186
(Dee gasps)
809
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,187
Shit.
810
00:17:00,220 --> 00:17:01,654
You bring a knife to a fight,
811
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:02,589
you better be ready to use it,
812
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,524
you jabroni.
813
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,259
Just... don't come back here,
814
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,827
you punks.
815
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,262
Aw, you made him look like a
816
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:10,263
bitch!
817
00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,098
Holy shit.
818
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:11,931
Nice... very nice.
819
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,400
Oh, you are badass, dude.
820
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,443
How'd you know he had a knife
821
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,435
on him?
822
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,869
I gave him an ocular patdown.
823
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,238
Assessed the threat level.
824
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,039
Clocked a knife in his boot.
825
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,741
Huh! Holy shit.
826
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,077
(Charlie whoops and chuckles)
827
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,121
Guys, I may have had a little
828
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,113
bit of an accident in my pants,
829
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,114
so I think I got to change out
830
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,115
of this gi.
831
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:29,116
He just gave that guy an
832
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,117
ocular patdown, and it actually
833
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,118
worked.
834
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,119
It worked.
835
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,229
He made a lucky guess, and he
836
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,754
put us all in danger.
837
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:35,622
You made a poopy in your
838
00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:36,323
pants!
839
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,224
Did anybody else do a poopoo in
840
00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:37,757
their pants?
841
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:38,225
No.
842
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:38,925
Of course not.
843
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:39,859
This is our head of security!
844
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,860
I don't need to listen to
845
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,861
this, okay?
846
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:42,905
I'm gonna change out of this gi
847
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:43,896
and then we're gonna keep going
848
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:44,797
with the day, okay?
849
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:45,908
I have a series of lectures that
850
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:46,733
we're gonna get to.
851
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:47,810
Go get the poop out of your
852
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:48,801
pants.
853
00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:49,802
I can't wait for the
854
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:50,803
lectures.
855
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:51,804
Goddamn, man.
856
00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,240
The guy is in complete denial
857
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,317
about absolutely every aspect of
858
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:55,308
his life.
859
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,309
And there is nothing we can do
860
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:57,310
about it.
861
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,578
I say we switch him out.
862
00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:59,646
Huh?
863
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,889
Country Mac for paddy's Mac.
864
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,115
We send Mac to the country,
865
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:02,982
bring country Mac here.
866
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:03,783
Yeah, to the bar.
867
00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:04,717
That's not a bad idea.
868
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,761
I mean, look, we'd be safer with
869
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:06,753
an actual badass in the bar.
870
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,754
We might actually become a
871
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,755
little bit more badass
872
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:09,589
ourselves.
873
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,590
We would become more like
874
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:11,591
country Mac, which'd be great.
875
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:12,592
We have a lot to learn from
876
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:13,426
him.
877
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,427
We should all get motorcycles.
878
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,295
And drink much more beer.
879
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,163
And smoke more weed, you
880
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:16,863
guys.
881
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,630
And get in fights and do all
882
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:18,231
those things.
883
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,065
Can we make this happen
884
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:19,766
before he comes back out...?
885
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:20,633
Let's talk to him, let's talk
886
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,401
to him.
887
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,578
Hey, um... hey, country Mac, can
888
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,646
we just talk to you for one
889
00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:24,637
quick second, buddy?
890
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:25,638
Um, listen, we were just talking
891
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,607
and, man, we sure would like for
892
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:28,808
you to stay with us.
893
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,018
I mean, like-like, stay with us
894
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:31,110
forever.
895
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,345
Will you be part of our gang?
896
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:33,646
Yep.
897
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,848
Uh... just "yep"?
898
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:36,849
Just, like... that's it?
899
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:37,850
You're not gonna give a speech
900
00:18:37,884 --> 00:18:38,851
or lecture us or anything like
901
00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:39,852
that?
902
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:40,853
No bossiness?
903
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:41,954
No pontificating?
904
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,257
It's not my style.
905
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:46,193
I just go with the flow.
906
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,194
Let the wind blow through my
907
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:48,195
hair.
908
00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,196
Yeah.
909
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,363
Oh.
910
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,431
(Starts engine)
911
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,965
Oh, wow.
912
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,434
I love that guy.
913
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,969
Aw, look at him go.
914
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,505
Where's he even going?
915
00:18:58,538 --> 00:18:59,506
I mean, the fact that we
916
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,507
don't know where he's going
917
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,175
makes him all the more badass.
918
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,176
Uh-oh. Whoops.
919
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,177
Whoopsie.
920
00:19:04,211 --> 00:19:05,178
He fell, huh?
921
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:06,179
Tipped over a little bit.
922
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:07,013
Ooh.
923
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:08,014
He's probably okay, though,
924
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,015
right?
925
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:10,016
Well, yeah, he just... popped
926
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,017
over.
927
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,018
A little-little bump.
928
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,296
He's fine. He's good, he's good,
929
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,287
he's good, he's good.
930
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,256
(Bagpipes playing)
931
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,065
Country Mac lived a reckless
932
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:22,362
life.
933
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,531
He wasn't the kind of guy that
934
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:27,534
could score a point in a black
935
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,536
belt karate contest.
936
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,571
And it turns out, he was totally
937
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,206
queer.
938
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,875
Which, as we all know, is a sin.
939
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,310
And that, coupled with his
940
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:38,578
radical religious beliefs, has
941
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:42,181
most likely landed him in hell,
942
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:44,351
where he will burn for all
943
00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:45,818
eternity.
944
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,554
So I will ask for a moment of
945
00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:49,356
silence, in which I will beg
946
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:52,158
god's forgiveness for country
947
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,862
Mac's evil, homo ways, while
948
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,930
simultaneously doing a series of
949
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,499
karate moves that I know country
950
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:04,337
Mac would've enjoyed so much.
951
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,240
(Exhaling)
952
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:08,241
Well, guys, I think the real
953
00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:09,242
lesson here is that there's
954
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,243
nothing badass about riding a
955
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,244
motorcycle without a helmet.
956
00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:12,245
Right.
957
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,246
Plus, he was drunk all the
958
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,247
time.
959
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:15,248
Yeah.
960
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:16,249
You know what's badass?
961
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,250
Being alive.
962
00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,251
Yeah.
963
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:19,586
So, uh, what do we do about this
964
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,588
guy?
965
00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,392
(Mac exhaling)
966
00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:28,094
Namaste. Namaste.
967
00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,462
Okay, we will now pile into the
968
00:20:29,496 --> 00:20:31,030
car, where we will go to the
969
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,265
countryside to leave country
970
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:33,933
Mac's ashes in a place that he
971
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,435
loved so well.
972
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:36,603
Actually, we won't.
973
00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,204
Because it's officially frank
974
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,441
day, so...
975
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,644
(Toilet flushing)
976
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,481
All right, pee country Mac.
977
00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:49,482
Captioned by
978
00:20:49,516 --> 00:20:50,483
media access group at wgbh
979
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:53,453
access.Wgbh.Org
980
00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:26,519
(trio chanting backwards)
58765
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