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Mac: Just use 'em, dude.
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Charlie: I'm not going to
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wear gloves while I work!
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I'm sorry, it makes no sense.
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Dennis: It absolutely makes
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sense... you're a janitor who
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snakes toilets with his bare
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hands.
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So my hands get a little
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dirty from time to time.
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I appreciate the concern, but
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I'm fine.
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It's not for you!
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It's for us!
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Dee: Use gloves!
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Use gloves.
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Frank: Oh, look at this.
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Check it out.
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The restaurant and bar
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association's best bar award is
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coming up.
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We could get nominated.
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Frank, we never get nominated
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for awards, okay?
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And we don't give a shit because
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they're stupid.
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Yeah, we don't care about
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that kind of stuff, all right?
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Look, am I curious as to why we
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never get nominated?
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Sure, yeah.
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Do I care? Not in the slightest.
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No, I don't care about it,
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you know?
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I mean, all right, it is a
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little odd we've never been
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nominated.
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Yes, it's odd.
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At some point it becomes a
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little aggressive.
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So what is it?
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We don't deserve it?
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We're not cool enough?
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Whoa.
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Whoa, okay, frank.
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Now, if... if I do something,
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you better believe it's cool.
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Yeah, if I'm gonna put my
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name on something, it's gonna be
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award-worthy, you know.
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I can't imagine that other
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people are doing what we're
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doing better.
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I mean, it's serving up drinks.
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It's just upsetting.
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I'm sorry, I'm getting upset.
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If-if you want to get a
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nomination, you got
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to play the game.
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Nah, I don't want to play a
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game to get an award.
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That feels lame.
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It is lame.
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Oh, is that your ass? (Smooches)
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Oh, closer to the hole, sir?
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(Smooches, groans)
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You know what's lame?
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Being around this long and never
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getting an award.
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Makes you look like
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a bunch of assholes.
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Hmm.
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You're really, like, driving
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this home, and it's upsetting,
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because, like, now I'm getting
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the neck thing.
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I feel... I feel...
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I'm getting upset.
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Yeah, your neck's going nuts?
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Yeah! You're getting that?
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They're making me feel like
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an asshole.
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They are making us feel
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like assholes.
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All right, you know what,
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we'll play the game,
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I'll kiss ass.
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Yeah, let's play the game.
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I'm okay with it,
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because who cares?
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All right, fine,
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let's play the game.
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But I want to be very clear
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about something.
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(Scoffs) This literally means
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nothing to me.
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This office sucks.
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It smells bad and it's stuffy
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in here.
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Yeah, it's the restaurant
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and bar association, it's a
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stuffy organization.
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They're not in touch with the
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young people like us.
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Some old boner gives me
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attitude, I'm gonna
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spit in his face.
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He starts giving me shit,
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I'll spit at him.
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We should all spit.
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Look, we're not spitting,
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all right?
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Just keep your mouth shut and
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let me do the talking.
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I know what I'm doing.
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Sorry, sorry to keep you
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waiting.
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Frank Reynolds, paddy's pub.
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These are my associates.
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Stand up, show him some respect.
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I stand for no one.
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Please, it's not necessary.
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Have a seat.
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You heard the man... sit down.
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Well, now I feel
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like standing.
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But I don't want to stand
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through an entire meeting 'cause
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I don't know how long it's gonna
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last, so I'll sit down.
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It's my choice.
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With much dignity and grace,
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we've come to talk to you about
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the best bar award.
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Now, in the past, our group has
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not... paid you any attention,
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but now we are prepared to
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pay... you what you deserve...
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In attention, if you get my
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drift.
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I don't.
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Ponder lettuce and shrimp.
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Excuse me?
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He's inviting you out to
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lunch, bozo... you gonna go or
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not, yes or no?
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Actually, it's 3:30 in the
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afternoon... I've already eaten.
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This dickhead doesn't want a
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second lun... he's being offered
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lettuce and shrimp, he doesn't
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want to eat lunch.
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You eat once a day?
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(Mock sobbing): Hey,
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everybody, I had food.
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All right, you know what, I
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am out of here.
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I don't need this limpdick
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telling me whether my bar's
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cool, okay? (Hawking)
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No, no, no! No spitting.
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(Others Hawking)
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Look, how much is it gonna cost
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us to get on the ballot?
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Ten dollars.
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Huh?
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The entry fee is ten dollars.
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All you have to do is fill out
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the-the paperwork.
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Why have we never received
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this form?
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Well, we've-we've actually
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s-sent you the form many times
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in the past, and as I recall, it
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always comes back covered in
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fecal matter, urine, and...
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Racial slurs.
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Oh.
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That's a joke.
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Hey, you know, that's just,
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like, all in good fun, man.
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That's just our sense of
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humor... you'll get us.
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Shut up!
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Let bygones be bygones.
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Right, right.
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We're here now
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to play the game.
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Yes. Playing the game.
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I assume you take cash.
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Oh! So sorry.
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That wasn't meant for you, that
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was actually meant for you.
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Yeah, that was meant for him.
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We thought maybe you would
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think that was funny.
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Yeah, if it exploded in your
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face, but I can tell by the look
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on your face that you don't
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think that's funny.
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That's not your style.
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That's a shame.
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Yeah, that's sort of our
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sense of humor.
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Guys, he's not gonna get us.
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I think we got to get out of
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here, right?
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All right, guy.
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*
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What'd I say, idiots?
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You want to get nominated, you
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gotta play the game.
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We are playing the game,
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frank.
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Nah, you're not playing...
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We're just not vibing with
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that guy, he's a stiff.
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We were vibrating, but maybe
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at a different frequency than
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that guy.
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I like that.
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Frank is right.
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No, frank is right, though.
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We're too fringe.
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I mean, yeah, it's given us a
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lot of street cred, but I think
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we've alienated a lot of people
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in this town.
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Yeah, you-you want to win
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awards, you gotta campaign for
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it.
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It's an industry award.
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It's true.
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Like, we know we're cool and our
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customers know we're cool, but
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the industry doesn't get it yet.
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All right, you know what?
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Can you guys actually drop me
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off back at the bar?
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I'm gonna go work on the best
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song.
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What best song?
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The best song award.
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There is no best song award.
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What are you talking about?
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Well, that's all the more
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reason to do a best song, right?
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We'll be the only bar who did
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it, and that's a good chance
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we'll cover all the bases.
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(Frank sighs)
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I tell you what: Let's drop
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him off either way.
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Okay.
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That sounds good.
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Good idea, Charlie.
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Good idea, come on.
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What?
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*
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I can't believe that this
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place won best bar.
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I mean, who comes to this place?
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A shitload of people.
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Sudz is a super-popular place.
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I can't believe how bright it
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is in here.
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I don't like it.
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Yeah.
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And what's with all the loud,
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fake colors?
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I mean, where's the subtlety?
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All right, let's go grab a
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drink.
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We'll suss out the competition.
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I'm gonna go find a manager,
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introduce myself, give him
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this swag bag.
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What's in that bag?
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Ah, it's just this stuff I
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had our names printed on.
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I got a bottle opener, a
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keychain, egg.
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Why would you give him an
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egg?
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It's like a paperweight.
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Trust me, Deandra, people eat
288
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,939
this shit up.
289
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,541
Look, you gotta play the game.
290
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,608
I know how to do it.
291
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:15,443
Right.
292
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:16,276
Good luck.
293
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,110
Let's get a drink.
294
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:18,245
Yep.
295
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:19,212
Hey, guys.
296
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,347
How you doing?
297
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,391
My name is Greg; I'll be your
298
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,783
bartender tonight.
299
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,452
You ever been to sudz before?
300
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,453
(Laughing)
301
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:26,086
You wish.
302
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:26,920
Don't think so, pal.
303
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,456
Okay, well, welcome, then.
304
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:29,599
For our first-timers, I like to
305
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,091
recommend our blended signature
306
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,093
cocktail, the blue hole.
307
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,237
It's served with three straws in
308
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,062
a fishbowl.
309
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,363
It's pretty darn good.
310
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,474
Some people say it's better than
311
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,132
an orgasm. (Laughs)
312
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,701
Not that he's ever had one.
313
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,702
Oh!
314
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,903
(Laughing)
315
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,805
Okay, Maxwell, remind me to
316
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,306
find a new best friend.
317
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,908
Aw! Ee-aw!
318
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:48,976
(Chuckles)
319
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,310
Ugh.
320
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,311
Two margaritas for table
321
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,412
six, Greg.
322
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,114
Hey, Amanda, what's wrong?
323
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,483
Let me guess.
324
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,416
Your boyfriend canceled on you
325
00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:57,451
again.
326
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:58,652
Conference got extended.
327
00:06:58,686 --> 00:06:59,887
What can I say?
328
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,088
He loves his work.
329
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,422
Well, I think he should spend
330
00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,458
a little less time on his work
331
00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,426
and a little more time on you.
332
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:07,628
All: Aw...
333
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,829
Thanks. You're so sweet.
334
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,063
Hmm.
335
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,264
What in the hell is
336
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:12,432
happening?
337
00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:13,634
I don't know.
338
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,635
What are they doing?
339
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:15,636
Okay, sorry about that.
340
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:16,837
So, one blue hole?
341
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:17,838
Uh, well, let's see.
342
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:18,839
There's three of us, so, three
343
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,073
drinks.
344
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:21,074
Yeah, well, they're generally
345
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,151
shared, 'cause they're pretty
346
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,276
big.
347
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,277
Said three, dick bag.
348
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,445
Get three!
349
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,614
Uh-huh.
350
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,615
I don't care for that guy.
351
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,816
Me neither.
352
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:30,017
No.
353
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,018
Too soft. I want a little
354
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,019
edge in my bartender.
355
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,020
You know, this is Philadelphia.
356
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:33,954
What's with the, uh...?
357
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:34,922
What's with the black friend
358
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:35,823
that no one is acknowledging?
359
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:36,624
Is black...?
360
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:37,701
I feel like it's weird if you
361
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:38,692
don't talk about that, you know?
362
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:39,627
It's strange to have one
363
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,460
black friend and not be
364
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,328
constantly talking about it.
365
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:42,295
Yeah, shine a light on it,
366
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,196
make sure everybody sees and
367
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,197
knows, like, "i have a black
368
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,132
friend," and that's a thing.
369
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,133
'Cause it's weird that a
370
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,100
black person is friends with
371
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:47,935
white people.
372
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,936
Hmm. I don't... think it is.
373
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,046
It's not that weird, but it's
374
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:50,938
that... but it's a thing.
375
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:51,772
It is, it is.
376
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:52,973
Here you guys go.
377
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,174
Oh.
378
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,375
There we go.
379
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,545
(All cheering)
380
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:58,712
Oh, drink up!
381
00:07:58,746 --> 00:07:59,947
(Whooping)
382
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,148
What the hell was that?
383
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,349
That's a sudz alert.
384
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:03,517
When we ring that bell,
385
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:04,728
everybody's got to drink, right?
386
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:05,953
Yeah.
387
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,154
(Laughs)
388
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:08,364
I don't need a bell telling
389
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:09,523
me when to drink.
390
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,634
I'll drink when I'm goddamn good
391
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:11,725
and thirsty.
392
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:12,726
I'm pretty sure I know when
393
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,961
to take a drink.
394
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:14,962
Screw their stupid bell, you
395
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,163
know?
396
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,164
I wish I had drank when
397
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,165
everybody else drank, though,
398
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:19,166
'cause it seemed like fun.
399
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,167
Well, now I feel left out.
400
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,168
Can we drink now?
401
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,169
Let's drink now.
402
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:23,170
Together?
403
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,171
'Cause i-i...
404
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,372
Now I'm angry.
405
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:29,309
Mmm.
406
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,510
Mmm.
407
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,645
What are you doing in my
408
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:32,846
office?
409
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,047
Oh.
410
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,248
(Laughs)
411
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,516
You snuck up on me.
412
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,727
Frank Reynolds, owner of paddy's
413
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,186
pub.
414
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,721
I just thought I'd come by and
415
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,724
say hello, pay my respects.
416
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,593
Also, I got you a little goody
417
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,827
bag here.
418
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,662
Some trinkets, knickknacks that
419
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:49,863
you might enjoy.
420
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,199
There's a broken egg in here.
421
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,400
Oh, shit.
422
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,578
That wasn't the hardboiled one.
423
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,779
Hey, you want me to cook that up
424
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,004
for you?
425
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,106
Ah.
426
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,340
Mmm.
427
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,441
Oh, man.
428
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,710
Ooh! Goddamn.
429
00:09:02,743 --> 00:09:03,877
That went down easy.
430
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,078
I like this.
431
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:06,279
Yeah.
432
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,514
Guys, I'm starting to like
433
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,682
this place.
434
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:09,883
It's growing on me, too.
435
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,094
I-i like the chemistry that the
436
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,285
staff has.
437
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,286
Oh, did you guys see that
438
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,287
charged moment between Greg and
439
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,522
Amanda?
440
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,690
Yes.
441
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:17,691
Boy, I tell you.
442
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:18,692
She's got a boyfriend, but I
443
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:19,627
think that she and Greg should
444
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,628
end up together. Ooh, ooh, ooh.
445
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:21,629
I'd like to come back next
446
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:22,630
week to see if they do.
447
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:23,631
Yeah. Me, too.
448
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:24,598
You know? I mean, she is
449
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,599
cute, she is just super cute,
450
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,800
right?
451
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,035
She's so cute.
452
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,078
She's cute. She is very cute.
453
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,037
She's not funny, though, so...
454
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:30,938
Yeah, but, no, but she
455
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:31,939
doesn't need to be funny because
456
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:32,940
she's cute, she's loveable,
457
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:33,874
everybody likes her, and then,
458
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:34,775
if she can tell a joke, yeah,
459
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:35,776
hey, it's just a bonus, you
460
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:36,977
know?
461
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:37,978
Let's get out of this dump.
462
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:38,912
Oh, actually, this place is
463
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:39,880
not a dump, frank.
464
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,814
It's pretty great.
465
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:41,782
Hey, hey, Greg, can you get this
466
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:42,650
man a blue hole?
467
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,651
You got to try this thing.
468
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:44,618
I got news for you.
469
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:45,662
Our secret's out, and it stinks.
470
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,896
This manager's been to paddy's,
471
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:47,888
and he said it's nothing but a
472
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:48,889
bunch of people yelling over
473
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,090
each other.
474
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,291
Well...
475
00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,292
So what? That's what we do.
476
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,293
We yell at each other, and if
477
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,294
people want to tune in and
478
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,295
listen, then they're welcome to.
479
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,496
Yeah, but I think that's
480
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,497
off-putting to the customer.
481
00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:58,498
I mean, Greg would never yell at
482
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,667
Amanda.
483
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:00,668
All right, I'll tell you what
484
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:01,902
we got to do.
485
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:02,903
We got to up our game.
486
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:03,904
We should host an industry
487
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105
night.
488
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,106
Invite all the people who vote
489
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,107
who's in the industry to come to
490
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:08,642
our bar, and we'll show 'em what
491
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:09,843
we're made of.
492
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:10,920
Yeah, but I'd like to tweak a
493
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:11,912
little bit of who we are and
494
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,113
what we're made of, right?
495
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,314
Yeah.
496
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,315
Soften the edges a little
497
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,516
bit.
498
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,517
All right, we'll tweak it a
499
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,485
little bit, we'll show these
500
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,653
bastards who's award-worthy.
501
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:20,854
Yeah.
502
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,089
Yeah!
503
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,658
Oh-ho! Drink! Drink!
504
00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:28,662
Okay, guys, if we're gonna
505
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:29,663
show these industry folks
506
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:30,664
tonight that we're likeable, we
507
00:10:30,698 --> 00:10:31,665
need to have some funny banter
508
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,866
like Greg and Maxwell have.
509
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:33,867
Yeah. Don't worry.
510
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:34,868
I'm gonna be zinging one-liners
511
00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,036
all night long.
512
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,037
Uh, actually, Dee, you won't
513
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:37,971
be zinging anything around,
514
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:38,972
because men are intimidated by
515
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:39,973
funny women, all right?
516
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:40,974
So, what we need you to be is
517
00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:42,175
just pretty and benign.
518
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,352
But we are gonna do a will-they-
519
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,553
or-won't-they thing between you
520
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,779
and Mac.
521
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:46,780
Dee and I don't want to be
522
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:47,781
together.
523
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:48,782
No.
524
00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,717
But the customers want you to
525
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,517
be together.
526
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,351
That's fun for them.
527
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,461
Why would it be fun for them
528
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,529
to watch two people not want to
529
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:54,354
be together?
530
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,823
Well, no. You do want to be
531
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:56,656
together, okay?
532
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,901
The customers have to think that
533
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,359
you think that you don't want to
534
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,293
be together, but you do, deep
535
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:01,128
down, want to be together.
536
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,129
The problem is, right now, I'm
537
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,130
getting that you guys don't want
538
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:03,964
to be together.
539
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,032
I need you to want to be
540
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,033
together.
541
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,034
Ugh.
542
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:08,235
Question.
543
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,236
Yes, you're wondering how
544
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,237
we're gonna make Dee attractive
545
00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:11,204
enough to where you'll want to
546
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,372
be with her.
547
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,406
Yes.
548
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,407
Okay, see, what I'm gonna do
549
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,408
is, I'm gonna shellac her with
550
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,409
makeup, and I'm gonna blast her
551
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,310
with light to soften up all
552
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,245
those features.
553
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:19,246
I am into that, yes.
554
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,247
Yes. Okay, great.
555
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,482
So, guys, I got us banter cards.
556
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,416
Mac, you're gonna welcome the
557
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,493
customer in, and then I'm gonna
558
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,418
execute with a quip.
559
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,420
Let's give it a shot.
560
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:28,655
"Hey, I'm Mac.
561
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,589
Welcome to paddy's pub.
562
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,557
I would like to recommend to
563
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:31,558
first-timers our signature
564
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,559
blended drink, Caribbean
565
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,761
paradise.
566
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:34,762
People say it's better than an
567
00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:35,996
orgasm."
568
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:36,997
Not that he's ever had one.
569
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:37,998
I've had orgasms!
570
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:38,999
I've had tons of orgasms!
571
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,200
I've had one with your mom,
572
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:41,368
dude!
573
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:42,369
I will strangle you, I'll stick
574
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:43,370
my goddamn thumb through your
575
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,571
eye!
576
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:45,538
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
577
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:46,539
whoa, dude, relax, relax.
578
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:47,540
Sit down. What are you doing?
579
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,742
Okay.
580
00:11:48,776 --> 00:11:49,743
You came at me, and I gave it
581
00:11:49,777 --> 00:11:50,944
back to you hard, 'cause...
582
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,179
Uh, yeah, I'm getting that.
583
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:53,180
Look, I'm just doing the thing.
584
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,347
Oh.
585
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,391
See, what you just did...
586
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,583
That's how we normally talk.
587
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,785
That's very aggressive.
588
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:58,886
I came at you hard.
589
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:00,196
You came at me real hard, and
590
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,421
people aren't comfortable with
591
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:02,355
that sort of behavior.
592
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,556
That's why we're trying
593
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,557
something different here, okay?
594
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,558
Guys, memorize these lines,
595
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,760
okay?
596
00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:07,761
We need to seem like it's coming
597
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:08,962
off the cuff.
598
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:09,963
Right. Plus, she didn't even
599
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:11,131
feel a thing.
600
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,299
What?
601
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,300
What?
602
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:14,301
That's the punch line to Mac
603
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,135
bang-banging our mom.
604
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,136
She didn't, she didn't even
605
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,137
notice.
606
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,314
Oh, Dee, Jesus Christ, your
607
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,539
timing is so bad.
608
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,740
He just said it.
609
00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:21,942
There's a timing concern.
610
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,143
Look, stop.
611
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:24,311
Don't do the jokes, okay?
612
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,554
Let's settle into our new roles
613
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,746
here, okay?
614
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:27,948
Little bit of role-play.
615
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,149
Change of plans.
616
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,317
Change of plans.
617
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,318
We got to go darker with
618
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,552
industry night, edgier.
619
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,763
No, frank, don't derail us.
620
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:34,955
We're doing bright lights,
621
00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:36,165
bright colors, and funny banter.
622
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:37,324
That's what wins.
623
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,558
Wrong.
624
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,759
Artemis and I went to a
625
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,961
burlesque bar last night.
626
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,162
Eh, there were women
627
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:43,339
stripping, but it was classy.
628
00:12:43,363 --> 00:12:44,564
It was dimly lit.
629
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,599
They were serving Martinis,
630
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,801
period costumes.
631
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,269
There weren't a lot of people in
632
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,446
there, but this bar has won a
633
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,638
shitload of awards.
634
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:52,840
Do you guys think that our
635
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,574
location is the problem?
636
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,575
Hmm.
637
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,576
That could be it, yeah.
638
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:57,477
Well, no, see, there was that
639
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,411
bar that just opened last year
640
00:12:58,445 --> 00:12:59,246
right down the street, and
641
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,180
they've already won a ton of
642
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:01,181
awards.
643
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,149
Oh, mm-hmm.
644
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,350
Oh, right.
645
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,517
Is it us?
646
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,752
Ugh.
647
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:06,954
No way.
648
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,155
Us?
649
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,156
No, no, no, it can't be us.
650
00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,157
No way.
651
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,158
I highly doubt it's us.
652
00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,159
It's everybody else.
653
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,160
It's their problem, not us.
654
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,161
We don't have the...
655
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,162
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey!
656
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,329
I got it! I got it!
657
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,497
Got what?
658
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,698
The best song.
659
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:19,933
I wrote the best song.
660
00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,134
It's amazing.
661
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,135
Get with the program.
662
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,103
Yes, Charlie, please.
663
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,304
We're all clamoring to hear.
664
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,472
* whoa, they say
665
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,340
the world's your oyster
666
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,510
ma'am, but oysters ain't for me
667
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,380
* you're the belle of the ball
668
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,016
but you ain't my cup of tea
669
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,851
they always vote you
670
00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,052
* best in show
671
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:41,221
but this doggie disagrees
672
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,389
'cause I like life
673
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,725
in paddy's pub... *
674
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:46,994
okay.
675
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,361
* there's a place for me
676
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,230
it's the place I go
677
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,831
where the beer is cheap
678
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,400
* and the lights are low
679
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,402
it's paddy's pub
680
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:58,638
I like paddy's pub
681
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,840
* let the record show
682
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,175
the greatest place to go
683
00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:06,379
is that bar called paddy's pub *
684
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,950
(harmonica playing)
685
00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,891
* I like life in paddy's
686
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:23,763
pub... *
687
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:25,098
my goodness!
688
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,099
Hey, hey!
689
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,100
Well, well, well.
690
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:27,935
My goodness.
691
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:28,936
You guys really like it?
692
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:29,937
You're not just bullshitting me?
693
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:30,938
It was pretty great!
694
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:31,939
I tried to go right down the
695
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:32,940
middle, you know, of middle
696
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:33,941
America, Randy Newman...
697
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:34,942
Yeah, I didn't catch any rape
698
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:35,943
references, nothing about
699
00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:36,944
spiders, nothing about ghouls.
700
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:37,945
(Chuckles) Why would there be
701
00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:38,946
rape?
702
00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:39,947
You're always talking about
703
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:40,948
rape and spiders.
704
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:41,949
You guys misinterpret it,
705
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:42,782
but...
706
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:43,783
Charlie, that was great.
707
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:44,784
It was really great.
708
00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,785
You really knocked it out of the
709
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,619
park.
710
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,620
Let's go down to the basement
711
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,621
and get some lemons for the
712
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,622
party.
713
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:50,623
Oh, yeah, sure, okay.
714
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,901
I'm glad you like the song, man.
715
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,726
(Frank chuckling)
716
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:54,727
(Lock clicks)
717
00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:55,728
Are you locking me in here?!
718
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:56,563
Yeah.
719
00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:57,564
Well, we just couldn't have him
720
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:58,565
do that song.
721
00:14:58,598 --> 00:14:59,566
Doesn't make any sense.
722
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:00,400
No.
723
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,401
It's ridiculous.
724
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,402
All right, let's put on a
725
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,137
good show.
726
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,980
*
727
00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:15,615
All right, people are
728
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:16,616
starting to arrive.
729
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:17,284
This is great.
730
00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:18,218
Okay, so when a customer comes
731
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,086
up to you, remember, keep it
732
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:19,652
light.
733
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:20,387
Light.
734
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,088
Keep it playful.
735
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:21,654
Playful.
736
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:22,322
Right?
737
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,323
Y'all ain't got to worry
738
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,057
about me.
739
00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,101
'Cause I'm gonna be chatting
740
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,759
these fools up like a mug.
741
00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,295
Cool.
742
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,329
Okay, thanks, z.
743
00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,330
Yeah, I'm a little worried
744
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,331
about him.
745
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,332
We should have gotten a less
746
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,333
intense black guy for diversity,
747
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,334
but we don't have any in our
748
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,335
roster.
749
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,336
But maybe we could find another
750
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,337
one, throw him into the mix?
751
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:38,338
You know, to counter z's vibe?
752
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:39,339
You got to be really careful
753
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,340
about the ratio.
754
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:41,341
We get too many black guys,
755
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:42,342
people think it's a black bar.
756
00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,343
That will not help us.
757
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,344
Black bars don't win awards.
758
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,078
No.
759
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,013
I don't know why, but they
760
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:46,746
don't.
761
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,914
Loving these lights, you
762
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:48,648
guys.
763
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:49,649
I am glowing like an angel
764
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,350
over here.
765
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,420
Oh, my god.
766
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,954
Hi, can I get a drink?
767
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,323
Hey, I'm Mac.
768
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:57,590
Welcome to paddy's pub.
769
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,867
I like to recommend to our first
770
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,493
timers our signature cocktail...
771
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,029
Caribbean paradise.
772
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,272
Some people say it's better than
773
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,497
busting a nut.
774
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:05,999
Excuse me?
775
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,200
Busting a nut.
776
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:08,635
It's like, uh, you know, blowing
777
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:09,636
your load.
778
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:10,713
He said it was a funny joke.
779
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:11,604
Well, no... hold on.
780
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,681
Yeah, it's like coming all
781
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,673
over you.
782
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,807
It's light, it's playful.
783
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:15,808
Yeah, well, no, I think what
784
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,020
my friend is trying to refer to
785
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,054
is an orgasm, which is light and
786
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,646
playful, but he overstepped
787
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:20,689
himself and got a little bit
788
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,681
too specific.
789
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:22,791
Sorry, we jizz in the drink
790
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:23,859
and that's what makes it light.
791
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:25,028
No, no, nobody's jizzing on
792
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:26,019
anything.
793
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:26,953
Well, where do I jizz?
794
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:27,787
You don't jizz.
795
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,831
How can, how can I orgasm if
796
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:29,656
I don't jizz?
797
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,623
No, ma'am, I think what...
798
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:31,558
Just tell me where I jizz so
799
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,525
I can give this lady her drink.
800
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:33,493
Ma'am, what would you like to
801
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,461
drink?
802
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,029
And we won't jizz on anything.
803
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,030
Not like Mac's ever had an
804
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,031
orgasm.
805
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,032
Holy shit, you're late.
806
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,033
She was late.
807
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:41,034
Go back in your light.
808
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,035
We're all set up back there.
809
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,036
Deandra, grab a couple of
810
00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:44,037
bottles of champagne, let's go.
811
00:16:44,071 --> 00:16:45,038
Yup.
812
00:16:45,072 --> 00:16:46,039
N-n-no, I got it, I got it.
813
00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,040
Dee, stay in your light.
814
00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,041
Come with me, come here.
815
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,042
All right, listen, listen,
816
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,043
listen.
817
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,044
What was that?
818
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,045
All right, look, look, look,
819
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,046
look.
820
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,347
You two do the charged moment.
821
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:56,349
Will they or won't they?
822
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:58,017
Mm-hmm.
823
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,854
*
824
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,323
(Dee sighs)
825
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,891
What's wrong, Dee?
826
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:05,892
Oh, nothing.
827
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:06,893
Let me guess... boyfriend
828
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:07,894
troubles?
829
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:08,895
Hmm.
830
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:09,896
This guy doesn't know what
831
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:10,897
he's got.
832
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,399
He's really ugly, too.
833
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,442
I'm sorry, are you talking to
834
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:14,434
me?
835
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,435
Yeah.
836
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,436
I said her boyfriend's ugly.
837
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:17,437
Pay attention, bozo.
838
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,438
Okay, he's not ugly, all
839
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:19,439
right?
840
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:20,440
That wouldn't make any sense.
841
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,550
That's-that... he's not ugly.
842
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:22,542
Dude's a total tool, too.
843
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:23,543
It's... (Stammers)
844
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,544
You know what he's not?
845
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,545
He's not covered in stupid
846
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,546
tattoos and he doesn't have a
847
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,547
cigarette for a mother...
848
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:28,381
What?!
849
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,382
Don't talk shit about my mom!
850
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:30,383
Whoa.
851
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:31,384
Hey!
852
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:32,385
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
853
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,386
Stop... what the hell's going on
854
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,387
over here?
855
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:35,388
That man is choking that
856
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:36,389
woman.
857
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,390
Get over here.
858
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,291
What are, what are you doing?
859
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,127
This isn't will they or won't
860
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,128
they?
861
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,371
This is I know they won't and I
862
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,363
know I don't want them to.
863
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,031
(Charlie grunting)
864
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,032
Excuse me, there's a guy
865
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,300
crawling out of your floor.
866
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,635
Oh, uh, that-that's okay.
867
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:49,636
That's just our janitor.
868
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:50,637
Uh, don't worry about it,
869
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,638
gentlemen.
870
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:52,639
What are you doing, dude?
871
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:53,773
I broke out.
872
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:55,242
Are you high?
873
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,709
You put, you put me in the
874
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:57,710
basement with spray cans.
875
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:58,745
I got high.
876
00:17:58,778 --> 00:17:59,888
Do me a favor, go back in the
877
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:00,947
basement, okay?
878
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:01,948
Get higher if you want.
879
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,082
Just go back in.
880
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,117
Don't sit down there.
881
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,118
No, no, no, no, no, don't,
882
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,119
don't... goddamn it.
883
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,120
What are we gonna do?
884
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,121
Oh, well, it looks like z
885
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:08,955
brought friends.
886
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:09,956
Yo, yo, yo.
887
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:10,790
What up?
888
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:11,791
Oh!
889
00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:12,792
That's too many black guys,
890
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:14,161
dude... the ratio's off.
891
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,162
Dennis, the ratio is off!
892
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,163
Okay, you know what?
893
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,164
Ooh, ooh, ooh, the burlesque,
894
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:18,165
remember?
895
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,166
Burlesque, yes, yes, yes.
896
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:20,167
Hey, guys, guy... gentlemen,
897
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,168
gentlemen.
898
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,169
How about something a little bit
899
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,603
more upscale, yeah?
900
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:24,604
Here, come with me.
901
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,605
I want to show you something.
902
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:26,606
Yeah, this is classy.
903
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,741
(Yelling)
904
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,277
Get the bottle out, get the
905
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,278
bottle out!
906
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,279
I'm trying!
907
00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:33,522
Don't judge me... this is art.
908
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,514
(Grunts)
909
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:35,515
I got it.
910
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,516
That's disgusting.
911
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:37,517
Get out, shut the door!
912
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,518
This is not art.
913
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,519
Attention, attention,
914
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,520
everybody.
915
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,521
I got a little ditty about
916
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,522
paddy's pub.
917
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,523
* I'm a singer.
918
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:44,524
Charlie's doing the song.
919
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:45,525
The song was light.
920
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:46,526
The song was light.
921
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,527
That'll lighten things up.
922
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,528
Do the song, dude, do the
923
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,529
song.
924
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,863
Please enjoy this song.
925
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:54,033
* there is a spider, spider
926
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,003
spider
927
00:18:57,036 --> 00:19:00,373
he's deep in my soul, soul
928
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:03,109
* he's lived here for years
929
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,178
years
930
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:08,548
he just won't let go
931
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,984
* he's laying around
932
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,987
he's got a mean bite
933
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:17,390
now he's ready
934
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:19,859
to fight... *
935
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,366
* and stand up
936
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,936
for what he knows... *
937
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:35,408
* I don't need your trophies
938
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,743
or your gold
939
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,412
I just want to tell you all
940
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,515
go (Bleep) Yourselves... *
941
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:45,084
(laughing): Oh, shit.
942
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,454
(High-pitched singing)
943
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:55,495
* go (Bleep) Yourselves...
944
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,563
(Spits)
945
00:19:56,596 --> 00:19:57,830
* ooh, wah-ooh...
946
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:58,831
Is he spitting?
947
00:19:58,865 --> 00:19:59,832
Is he spitting?
948
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:00,833
Oh, he's spitting at them.
949
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,834
Is that the sign?
950
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:02,769
It's a good sign.
951
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:03,603
Spit!
952
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:04,437
Hey, you!
953
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,705
What is wrong with you
954
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:06,539
people?
955
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,540
Get out of our bar!
956
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,717
Get the hell out of our bar!
957
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,177
Get out of here!
958
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,613
* I really mean to tell you
959
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:15,014
(bleep) You, (Bleep)
960
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,917
I don't need you in my bar. *
961
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:18,951
beat it!
962
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:19,952
There's your damn award.
963
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,154
* ooh...
964
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:27,360
(Clears throat)
965
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:28,361
Did you hear my song?
966
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:29,195
I heard it.
967
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,129
I love it.
968
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:30,863
Great song, Charlie.
969
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,265
Yeah, man.
970
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:33,132
You know what, that felt
971
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,367
good; That felt real good.
972
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:35,368
I mean, I guess it is us
973
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:36,369
after all, you know?
974
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,537
It's us.
975
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:38,738
All right, it's us.
976
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,139
Screw them, you know why?
977
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:41,408
'Cause I like us.
978
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:42,442
I like us, too, Dee.
979
00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,443
Well, because we're awesome.
980
00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:44,444
Yeah, we're good at what we
981
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,445
do.
982
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,145
Yeah!
983
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,079
We do our own thing and we're
984
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,080
good at it.
985
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,081
I don't need their
986
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:50,082
validation.
987
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,083
That's exactly right.
988
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:52,084
No, no, I'm happy with us.
989
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:54,086
Totally.
990
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,888
I really wanted an award,
991
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:56,889
though.
992
00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:57,890
I was dying for one.
993
00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:58,891
Ah, that'd be so nice.
994
00:20:58,925 --> 00:20:59,792
Would've meant a lot.
995
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:00,460
Yeah.
996
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,228
Yeah.
997
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,463
Captioned by
998
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,664
media access group at wgbh
999
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,099
access.Wgbh.Org
1000
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,334
(trio chanting backwards)
60319
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