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1
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,688
[ Mac] Dennis, do you have the tickets?
[ Dennis] Yes, affirmative.
2
00:00:05,760 --> 00:00:07,524
I got the tickets online,
and I got the last ones.
3
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,170
[ Mac ] Charlie, you g0! booze
.7 Tell me what' you think.
4
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:11,129
I think that's enough booze to
last the whole movie, right?
5
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,361
Yes.
We're good.
6
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,204
Dee, time? Uh, we have
just about a half hour.
7
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,244
Precisely, you bitch! I need to know
precisely. 28 minutes! I'm sorry.
8
00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:19,527
Oh, the city is like a zoo.
9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,682
I mean, traffic jam
like you wouldn't believe.
10
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,444
Obama's got
the whole thing congested.
11
00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,010
Oh, goddamn it, Mac.
12
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:28,124
I told you there was gonna be
traffic, dude. I forgot about Obama!
13
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,690
We still have time.
We still have time.
14
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,768
No, but, dude, trafficfs
gonna jam us up, man.
15
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,444
No,no,no.
We can make it, okay?
16
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:35,363
Time for what?
Where are you going?
17
00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:38,165
We're gonna go see Th undergun Express,
m a n. You know what I'm talking about.
18
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,368
- What the shit is a thunder gun?
- Are you crazy?
19
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,090
Dude, it's like the
greatest movie ever made.
20
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,209
It's about this warrior from a
postapocalyptic: underground society...
21
00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:49,126
who has to travel back in time to save
his lover from an evil robot army.
22
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,568
- Ooh. - [ Deep Voice ] “No hesitation.
No surrender.”
23
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,687
[ Together]
No man left behind!
24
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,603
It's like the biggest movie
in America.
25
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,648
Whoa, that sounds the tits. I'm in.
26
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:59,370
No.
How? How?
27
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,124
You do not have a ticket.
Yeah.
28
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,771
- You didn't buy me a ticket?
- I'm sorry. What am I, your daddy?
29
00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,644
Yeah, I don't just buy
tickets for people. Yeah.
30
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,722
Well, I'll tell you what.
I'll take Deandra's ticket.
31
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:09,370
You don't like action movies.
32
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,250
Oh, no, no, no, Frank. This is just as
much a love story as anything else.
33
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,085
Plus, I hear the guy hangs dong,
and I'm very interested in seeing that.
34
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,889
Me too.
Yeah, he hangs dong.
35
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,325
What the hell am I gonna do?
36
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:20,647
Get out of the way, '<:ause we gotta go.
Yeah. Clock's ticking.
37
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,410
Go! Let's go.
[Chattering ]
38
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,527
Thundergun!
39
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,006
[ Beepirly]
40
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,210
[ Beepirly]
41
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,282
[ Charlie ]
This blows, dude! Drive faster.
42
00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,442
Drive faster? Where would
you like for me to go?
43
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,124
I'm surrounded by cars,
Charlie.
44
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,680
It's all these goddamn immigrants
come in to see Obama.
45
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,286
And none of them have any insurance.
That's why they drive so slow.
46
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,488
Why are you even here?
The movie is sold out.
47
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,005
I'm gonna scalp a ticket.
48
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,128
Oh, Shit!
49
00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,488
I didn't bring my wallet. You
guys gotta spot me some dough.
50
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,800
[ Mutters]
I ain't giving you shit.
51
00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,724
All right, I'll sneak in.
I sneak in all the time.
52
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:20,087
I hope we get there in time to sit
together. I don't like to split up.
53
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,850
Don't worry about it.
If we get split up,
54
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:23,490
we'll just yell over
everybody to each other...
55
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,210
until they get annoyed
with us and switch.
56
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,601
We can call in a bomb threat.
That would delay the picture.
57
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,200
That would be very Thundergun. We're
gonna have to do something drastic...
58
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,328
if Dennis doesn't figure out
a way to drive faster.
59
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,050
Where would you like
for me to drive?
60
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,164
He misses all of his angles. You
could slide in front of that Prius.
61
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,483
So then I'll be stuck in front of the
Prius instead of right next to the Prius.
62
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,483
It's a bigger problem than that, guys.
He's slow at everything.
63
00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,483
You should see how long
it takes him to bang chicks.
64
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,329
Mac, that's because
you always try and barge in...
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,890
so you can see
the chicks naked.
66
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,530
Then I have to start the
process all over again.
67
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,450
But you waste so muoh time talking to
them when you should be plowing them.
68
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,284
No, you don't get it.
You don't get what I'm-
69
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,528
Look, I'm forging a connection
with these women...
70
00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,568
that will yield for them
the most awakening...
71
00:02:58,640 --> 00:03:00,881
and unforgettable
sexualexpeflence of their lives.
72
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,440
Whatever! I don't care about any of this.
We're gonna miss the movie!
73
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,324
Yeah, come on. Hey,
Thundergun it up on the curb.
74
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,602
[ Chattering ] Thundergun
it all the way down.
75
00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,569
Thundergun's not a verb.
Stop using it as a verb.
76
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,244
There's nothing I can do.
it's the man's name.
77
00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:12,890
Just calm down.
We'll get there.
78
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,167
I'll tell you one thing. I could
walk faster than we're moving.
79
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,281
Right?
Please.
80
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,290
What are you guys doing?
81
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,409
[ Dennis ] Oh, oh, wait! Get
back here, you sons of bitches!
82
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,767
Thundergun leaves
no man behind!
83
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,810
[ Mac]
We'll come back for you!
84
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:31,644
Are you kidding me? Come on!
[ Horn Honks ]
85
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,048
[ Horns Honking ]
86
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,327
[ Frank] Damn. Shit.
87
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,284
All the streets are blocked.
Hey, let's ask this cop.
88
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,044
Excuse me, Officer.
89
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,089
Uh, we need to get through.
I can't help you.
90
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:49,764
The street's closed down
all the way to Spring.
91
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,123
Yeah, but this is an emergency. it's
not my problem. You gotta go around.
92
00:03:53,240 --> 00:03:54,446
[ Groans ]
We really gotta-
93
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,045
All right, we gotta find
a new point of entry.
94
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:57,406
Attack the target
from a different angle.
95
00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,642
Whoa! Hold on. What are you
talking about attacking?
96
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,762
No,no,no.
We're not terrorists or anything.
97
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,320
We're just- We're trying to get
to a movie, Th undergun Express.
98
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,243
O h, Th undergun Express,
huh?
99
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,004
You better get going.
100
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:09,764
You don't want to miss
one second of that movie.
101
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,049
- Is it that good? - it's the best
goddamn movie I ever seen in my life.
102
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,521
- [All Groan ]
- Dude hangs dong.
103
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:16,886
Oh!
I told them that!
104
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,684
I told them!
I don't want to miss that!
105
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,161
- [ Chattering ] - Maybe we take a cab.
What about that?
106
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:24,011
A cab? Dee, don't be a fool!
We'll never get a cab out here.
107
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,764
Plus, we'll just sit in traffic
like everybody else.
108
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,330
Yeah, we'll be stuck
like Dennis.
109
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,482
- [Bell Clangs]
- The trolley!
110
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,210
Trolley. We can make it, Frank.
Come on!
111
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,527
Yes.
No surrender, baby!
112
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,125
Come on!
113
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,445
Come on, Frank.
I'm coming.
114
00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:38,851
You can make it.
I'm coming.
115
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,321
No,no,no,n0,no!
I'm not gonna make it.
116
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,925
No, hop off!
117
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,002
Hop- Don't leave me here!
118
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,448
We'll come back for you!
119
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,727
You bastards!
120
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,965
[Grunts]
121
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,770
[ Beepirly]
122
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,763
[ Horns Honking ]
123
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,330
[ Scoffs ]
124
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,562
“Take too long.
You take too long, Dennis.”
125
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,927
Look, screw you, Mac.
I don't take that long.
126
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,686
I'll show you
who takes too long.
127
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,364
Son of a bitch.
Let's see.
128
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,169
We got Amanda.
We got Brenda.
129
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,765
Ah! Allison.
130
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:18,561
Let's find out if Allison
thought that I took too long.
131
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,483
[ Tape Player: Woman] it's too bad
the museum is closed on Wednesdays.
132
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,085
[ Dennis ]
I know.
133
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,561
I guess we can hang out here and
get to know each other instead.
134
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,688
[Door Closes, Locks Click]
This is a good one.
135
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,286
[ Woman]
What's with all the locks?
136
00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,045
[ Dennis ]
I Wam' you I0 feel safe.
137
00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:35,602
[ Tape Fast-forwarding]
138
00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,762
So your father took off
when you were pretty young, huh?
139
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,530
That must have been difficult.
[ Allison ] Yeah-
140
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,286
Yeah, I could probably
speed things up a little bit.
141
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,444
[ Man ]
Thanks very much. Careful now.
142
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,888
There you go. Watch your step, ladies.
Very good. Thank you.
143
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:55,769
Hey, guy, can you- can you
take me up the river'?
144
00:05:55,880 --> 00:05:58,087
I gotta get a mile up the river.
Tour is $15.
145
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,323
I left my wallet at home.
I only got a quarter to my name.
146
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,807
Look, I can't help you, pal.
All right, folks. [ Groans ]
147
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,644
Everybody, take your seats.
I'll be right back.
148
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:07,364
We'll get this tour under way,
okay?
149
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,442
I swear, I'll take care of
you when I get up there.
150
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,045
Sorry, dude.
151
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,009
Hi. I'm your new captain, Frank.
152
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,651
I'm gonna take you up the river.
Okay? Here we go.
153
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,961
[ Engine Starts] Vvhathappened
to Captain Torn'?
154
00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:25,567
Uh, Captain Tom turned out
to be a goddamn junkie.
155
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,688
- Hang on. - [Man] Oh!
156
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,444
[ Frank]
Whoo!
157
00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,368
'Y0uTe- you're going too fast.
Huh?
158
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,847
Too fast.
It's the fast tour.
159
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,247
It's the quick one.
160
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,721
Quick tour. [ Man Speaking
Foreign Language ]
161
00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,047
Why aren't you telling us
what anything is?
162
00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,282
Like what?
163
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,522
Wh-What is that building
over there?
164
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,887
[ Frank]
Uh, that's a big building.
165
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,042
It's a brick building-
red brick building.
166
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,124
I don't know what the hell it is.
it's a old building.
167
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,726
[ Chattering ]
168
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,565
Can you please use microphone? Very
difficult for people to hear in back.
169
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,921
Oh. Oh, the microphone.
Okay?
170
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,525
Okay.
171
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,045
All right.
[ Spits ]
172
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,650
You hear that?
Yeah.
173
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,121
Okay. Well, we're on
the Schuylkill River,
174
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:18,411
and, uh, it's home to many,
uh, weird fishlike creatures.
175
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,450
And also
the depository of, uh,
176
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:26,321
all of the unsolved crimes
and murders in Philadelphia.
177
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,402
[Speaking Foreign Language]
178
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,521
Yeah.
179
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,524
[ Beepirly]
180
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,170
[ Beepirly]
181
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,089
[ Horns Honking ] [ Charlie
] That trolley kicked ass.
182
00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,049
We're just like a couple blocks
from the theater, I think.
183
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,327
[ Mac ] Thundergun himself would
have been proud of that move.
184
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,250
[ Dee ] Of course he'd be proud. We
didn't hesitate. We didn't surrender.
185
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,924
We did leave a couple
men behind though.
186
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,128
That's true. But we didn't hesitate
to leave those men behind.
187
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:03,646
Yeah. Plus, I hung dong on the trolley.
You guys missed that.
188
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,609
I didn't miss it.
I chose to ignore it.
189
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:07,887
I saw it. Looked like a
button in a fur coat.
190
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:09,849
Either way,
it was totally Thundergun.
191
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,241
If Thundergun's dong looks like that,
we should all get our money back.
192
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,731
Yeah, I'm walking
out of the movie.
193
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,325
It was more of a ding
than a dong, really.
194
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,647
I got a lot of “good ones” and
thumbs up and- [ Horn Honking ]
195
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,165
Aw.
Goddamn it.
196
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,129
Another closure.
All right, think. Think.
197
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,487
What would Thundergun do
right now?
198
00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,289
[ Charlie ] Oh, shit. Okay, listen.
Hear me out.
199
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,127
Let's fire down that sewer.
Frank and I do it all the time.
200
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,202
I know my way around. We'll
be over there in a jiff.
201
00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,322
Uh, I don't know.
202
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,084
Sewer, huh?
All right, let's do it.
203
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:36,969
We've come this far, right?
Right?
204
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,530
No,no,no.
Our clothes will get soaking wet.
205
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,171
- It's gonna ruin the whole movie.
- Ooh. I know what it is.
206
00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,250
He's scared he's gonna be too fat to fit
down that gutter. That is what it is.
207
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,970
No, it isn't.
It has nothing to do with it.
208
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,405
Sewers are disgusting,
that's why.
209
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,966
Your big fat body is what's disgusting.
And you're embarrassed.
210
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,008
We are not going in the sewer,
and that is final.
211
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,048
Oh. Oh, yeah?
Aww.
212
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,288
Aww.
No, guys. Guys.
213
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,806
Guys, come on. Don't-
Goddamn it.
214
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,290
I'm coming through,
guys.
215
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,567
Here I come.
Here I come.
216
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,926
Oh, wait.
[Grunts]
217
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,525
Oh. You know what?
218
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:09,649
It turns out I am- I am too
muscular, and I can't fit through.
219
00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:14,362
- Looks like you're stuck, huh? - Yeah, So
my-my muscles stop me from gaining access.
220
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:15,930
Sorry, Mac.
221
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,490
Why don't you guys
come out, and then-
222
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,761
We'll come back for you.
Yeah.
223
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,842
That's what I told Dennis
and Frank, and I was lying.
224
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,810
I know. So are we!
225
00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:26,724
You sons of bitches!
226
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,928
Oh, you sons of bitches!
227
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,604
You sons of-
228
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,923
Out of the way,
you fat dickhead.
229
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,685
All right, think.
Think. Think.
230
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,241
Think.
231
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,284
No surrender.
No surrender!
232
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,523
[Tires Screech ]
233
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,523
[ Revving ]
234
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,364
[Tires Screech ]
235
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:58,810
Shitty bike.
[ Horns Honking ]
236
00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,002
[ Honking Continues]
237
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,530
[ Beepirly]
238
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,001
[ Tape Fast-forwards] [
Dennis ] You seem cold.
239
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,765
Perhaps you'd be more
comfortable under the covers.
240
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,326
Now, we're talkin'.
Okay, Allison. All right.
241
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:17,243
[ Door Opens ] [ Mac's
Voice] Hey, hey, guys.
242
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,765
[ Dennis ]
What are you do-
243
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,281
Mac, can we help you?
Goddamn Mac.
244
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,850
[ Mac] I thought I heard
you call my name.
245
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,160
[ Dennis ]
I did not call your name.
246
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,605
[ Mac ]
Oh, okay.
247
00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:27,364
I'll be right outside
if you need anything.
248
00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,130
[ Dennis ] We're not gonna
need anything, okay?
249
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,929
If fact, go ahead
and leave the keys in here.
250
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,844
Now I have to re-demonstrate my value,
so that's gonna increase the time.
251
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,809
[ Allison ] I think I
need to be getting home.
252
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,644
My mom is gonna start to worry.
253
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,326
[ Dennis ] Wail'. Your mom ?
H0 w old are you .7
254
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,607
[ Allison ] Sixteen.
[ Dennis] Sixteen?
255
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,370
No get- Whoa, sh“.
That's not good.
256
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,847
Why do I still have this tape? That's
ridiculous. [ Tape Fasl-forward/'n g ]
257
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,809
Oh! [Thud]
258
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,689
[ Horns Honking ]
259
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,683
Goddamn it.
260
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,285
Shit!
261
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:06,642
Well, now, this
is an interesting development.
262
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,130
[ Mouthing Words]
263
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:14,761
[ Charlie, indistinct]
264
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,367
I gotta say, Charlie,
this sewer is pretty gross,
265
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,647
but it's not nearly as gross
as I thought it was gonna be.
266
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,609
No, it's not bad now,
but like any minute,
267
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,206
a wall of water could
just come gushing through here.
268
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,971
So we should keep moving.
Wait. Wall of water?
269
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,684
Yeah. Well, you know,
it's not just water.
270
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,842
It's like dog shit
and street sludge.
271
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,770
You know, they divert it to different
channels throughout the day.
272
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,809
Oh, my God. You know, it's- it's sewage.
it's sewage.
273
00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:38,922
Yeah. Oh, you know what, Dee?
Dee?
274
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,405
Can we get naked really quick?
275
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,927
Oh, right. Do you mind if I do?
No.
276
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,008
Mm-hmm.
Well, see the thing is,
277
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,367
like, if a wall of water
comes through,
278
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,204
it's actually pretty sweet
to be naked,
279
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,964
'causethen
you can hold your clothes up.
280
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,520
You know, and then that piss and
shit just kind of flows over you.
281
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,130
Mm-hmm. it's more
refreshing than you think.
282
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,202
And then you have
dry clothes afterwards.
283
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:03,041
It's a lot better than having
the sewage on your clothes.
284
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:04,963
I understand
and I'm a little relieved,
285
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,565
but it's still not
good enough for me,
286
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:08,130
so I'm going
to keep my clothes on.
287
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,645
Oh, look at Queen Dee,
who's too good...
288
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,370
to get naked with her buddy
all of a sudden.
289
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,602
Okay, I don't- Why are you
making it about that? I just-
290
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:16,081
You know what? This is a preposterous
conversation we're having.
291
00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,844
This is a functional conversation.
292
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,042
This is a preposterous conversation.
This is not a sexual thing.
293
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,685
Let's just go.
Let's just go.
294
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,689
There's no walls of water.
Oh! Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
295
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,364
Shit. My shoe's stuck.
296
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,646
Well, pull it out.
297
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,927
If I could pull it out,
would it be stuck?
298
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,963
Take your shoe off. I'm not
gonna take my shoe off...
299
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,202
and walk around barefoot
in this disgusting sewer.
300
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,760
Oh, the queen again, everyone.
The queen speaks.
301
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:37,490
Shut up.
Charlie, we don't have time for this.
302
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:40,370
I have an idea though. Why don't you
take your shoes off and give them to me?
303
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,482
No, you'll stretch mine out.
No, come on, Charlie.
304
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,210
You were fine
taking all your clothes off...
305
00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:47,847
and walking around in this gross place.
Dee, you'll stretch them out.
306
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,082
All right, Charlie,
stop screwing around, okay?
307
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,601
We're gonna miss the movie.
No, we're-
308
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,611
You're right.
309
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,569
Wh-Where are you going?
What are you doing?
310
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,290
- I'll come back for you.
- No. No.
311
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,004
I'll come back for you.
Don't you do that.
312
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:03,401
Don't you-
Charlie, get back here right now!
313
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,209
Goddamn it! Oh, goddamn it!
314
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,806
Aw, man! Come on. Come on.
315
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,922
Come on!
[Rumbling, Splashing]
316
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,490
What was that?
317
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,928
What was that? Charlie?
318
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,002
Is that the wall of water?
319
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,606
No, Charlie.
Charlie, I hear the wall of water!
320
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,170
Come back for me!
321
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,891
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Come on. Come on!
322
00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,681
[Gasps, Screams]
Oh, shit!
323
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,684
[ Beepirly]
324
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,930
[ Beepirly]
325
00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,804
So they'll send a tow truck
and everything?
326
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,491
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry
about that. Tow truck is on its way.
327
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,967
See you were born 1985.
328
00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,611
Yeah. So everything checks out there.
Beautiful.
329
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,803
Oh, it's so cool that you own a
chain of auto-body repair shops.
330
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,484
I wish I new how to fix cars.
331
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:55,843
Oh, yeah, auto-body repair has always
been a bit of a passion of mine.
332
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,282
I also invented Facebook with
the Winklevoss twins. Really?
333
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,004
Yeah, yeah.
Zuckerberg didn't do shit.
334
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:02,570
Yeah, he really
screwed us on that one.
335
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,324
But I got some hush money,
so it's all good.
336
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,920
It's all good.
[ Horn Honking ]
337
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,844
But, uh, I don't want to waste
any more time here, so-
338
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:11,809
No man left behind!
339
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,684
Goddamn it, Mac.
[ Chuckling ]
340
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,808
What the hell
are you doing here?
341
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:18,929
I came back for you like I said
I would, like Thundergun does.
342
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,241
- Who's the brown girl?
- Uh, Elena.
343
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:22,924
We got into a bit
of a fender bender.
344
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,367
She was on her way to see Thundergun too.
What are the odds of that'?
345
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,568
I seen it twice already.
Oh, it's amazing.
346
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,324
What's with
the helmet, bro?
347
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,568
Pretty cool, huh?
A y, eslé bonito.
348
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,808
Dude, the helmet is sweet as shit.
it's very Thundergun.
349
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,008
Yeah. I'm going to wear it
during the movie.
350
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,487
Looks like traffic is clearing up, huh?
Yeah, it does.
351
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:40,528
All right. Punch it.
352
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,084
Uh, Charlie and I,
we go down the sewer.
353
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:50,484
And first thing we do is, to preserve our
clothes, we take- take our clothes off.
354
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:52,722
We get totally naked
because you don't want to get wet.
355
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,325
We ball our clothes up.
356
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,970
We stick them up someplace high.
357
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,208
There's this waitress
who Charlie's in love with,
358
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,328
and, uh, I banged her.
359
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,721
Charlie got really upset
when I banged the waitress.
360
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,531
Uh, but it was a lot of fun.
She was a nice piece of ass.
361
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,364
- [ Passengers Murmuring ] - We don't
know who you're talking about.
362
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,967
Charlie. He's my buddy. We sleep together.
We hang out together.
363
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,761
Once I pooped in the bed. I
blamed it on him. [Laughs]
364
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,922
One time the guys
got hooked on crack.
365
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,048
It was really crazy.
366
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,122
Well, they found a baby
in a Dumpster.
367
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,043
They wanted to make some
money with the baby,
368
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,566
butnobody would buy the
baby because it was white.
369
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,449
So they had to turn it brown.
370
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,124
We were fighting over the sword.
371
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,289
And just about when we were about
to hit each other with the sword,
372
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,010
Social Services came in.
373
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,929
Thought we were killing the baby.
[Laughs]
374
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,809
L-I don't understand this tour.
375
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,882
Charlie wrote this musical.
376
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,604
Oh, man, it was really funny.
377
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,489
I played a troll on the musical.
378
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,250
A troll?
Yeah.
379
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,209
And it's called The N/jghtman Comelh.
380
00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:50,324
I could sing you my song, if you like.
[ Mutters ]
381
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,291
You gotta- You gotta pay the troll
toll to get into this boy's hole.
382
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,931
[Speaking Foreign Language]
383
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:04,803
I was saying “soul.”
He thought I was saying “boy's hole.”
384
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,566
One of the things I like doing most
is banging whores.
385
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,849
I, uh- I go out
and bang a lot of whores.
386
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,604
[ Chattering ]
Yeah.
387
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,721
Listen. Here's the thing.
388
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,325
I'm going to have to jump off here.
389
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,609
So you guys enjoy the rest
of the tour on your own, okay?
390
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,887
How are we supposed
to get back to our tour bus?
391
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,361
That's your problem. Welcome to Philly.
392
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,082
[ Clamoring 1
393
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,685
[Laughs]
394
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,923
No hesitation.
Nah, no surrender.
395
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,480
No hesitation.
No surrender.
396
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,921
No surrender. No surrender.
397
00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,644
No surren-
[Siren Blares]
398
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,724
- [ Police Radio Chatter]
- Oh, sh“.
399
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,090
I surrender.
400
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,250
[ Man ] Coming soon to
a theater near you.
401
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,005
All right. Okay,
there's a nice way to do that.
402
00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:58,565
There's a nice way to do that.
403
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,210
From the director
that brought you-
404
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,487
Ooh! Aaah! That's tart.
405
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,165
This seat taken right here?
406
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,647
Charlie, you made it.
Hey!
407
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,240
What's up, Mac? I got a seat
right in the middle, bro.
408
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,085
- Aw, dude, that's an awesome helmet, man.
- Thanks, dude.
409
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,322
- Yo, where's Dee?
- Uh, she couldn't make it, bro.
410
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,482
Wasn't Thundergun enough.
How about Dennis?
411
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,723
Oh, yeah, he's here. He's Thundergunning
some Mexican chick in the back.
412
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,201
Nice! So he's moving a lot
faster than usual, huh?
413
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,487
- I think he's getting a hand job.
- Oh, I am.
414
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:28,888
A hand job. Hey, can you
guys, uh, maybe be quiet?
415
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,440
Why don't you switch seats with us
if it's bothering you so much'?
416
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,284
Just switch seats, you know what I mean?
Just switch seats.
417
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,447
Yeah, okay.
That's better.
418
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,364
All right. [ Charlie ] Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
419
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:39,602
Dude.
[Laughing]
420
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,284
Squeeze in. Squeeze-
421
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,727
- Oh! Hey, Dee, you made it.
- Yeah, you bet your ass I made it.
422
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,768
- Charlie, my clothes are dry.
- You held them over your head?
423
00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,087
Held them over my head. I told
you that water wall was coming.
424
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,561
Excuse me, miss,
but your stench is unbearable.
425
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:51,846
It's bad, isn't it?
Yes.
426
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,410
That's shit in my hair,
that's why.
427
00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:55,608
If you switch seats, I can be
closer to those guys and you-
428
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,165
Babe, let's get outta here.
429
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,770
[ Charlie ] You won't
smell as much- Excuse me.
430
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,724
And then you won't hear all the
talking and- [ Dee ] Don't touch me.
431
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,808
Congratulations.
This is a much better seat.
432
00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,730
So the water wall came, huh?
Yeah, it came with a vengeance.
433
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,490
Dennis is getting a hand job in the back.
Seriously?
434
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,090
Yeah.
Oh, congratulations.
435
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,650
Well, we're all here.
436
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,324
Except Frank.
I wonder where Frank is.
437
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,688
Okay, you got one phone call.
Make it quick.
438
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:18,285
Thank you, ma'am.
439
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,450
[Line Ringing]
440
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,761
[ Man ] This is 911.
What is your emergency?
441
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,606
[ Clears Throat]
I'd like to report a bomb threat.
442
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,047
That does not qualify as being-
Would you shut up?
443
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,162
[ Chattering ] The movie's about to start.
Can you shut up'?
444
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:39,890
[ Dennis ] Switch with us
if you're getting so upset.
445
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,525
Fine. Yeah, why don't you
go up there and then-
446
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:42,687
We're having
a Thundergun-based conversation.
447
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,325
She has a bad attitude.
Talk about shutting up.
448
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,686
Dennis, you're gonna
like these seats.
449
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:48,411
At a certain point, it's
your fault for not moving.
450
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:49,169
All right.
451
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,890
This is Elena, everybody.
452
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,729
Oh! it's starting.
it's starting.
453
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,768
This is going to be badass!
454
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,842
♪♪ [ Fanfare ]
455
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,524
♪♪ [ Fanfare Slows, Stops]
456
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,250
- [Audience Murmuring]
- What's going on?
457
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,324
Folks, please don't panic,
but we've received a bomb threat.
458
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,722
We ask that you remain calm and exit
the theater in an orderly fashion.
459
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,490
[Audience Murmuring]
Aw.
460
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,642
Bomb threat?
No.
461
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,688
Bomb threat?
Oh, shit.
462
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,609
Goddamn it, Frank.
463
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,682
He Thundergunned all of us.
464
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,569
He Thundergunned
the shit out of us.
465
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:23,727
Frank?
466
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,201
Frank.
Frank.
467
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,250
[ Voices Speaking Backwards]
468
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,121
English - US - PSDH
38031
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