All language subtitles for 7x09 - The Gang Gets Trapped

Damn it, damn it, damn it! This is
such a stupid goddamn situation.

We've got to get out of here, Dennis.
We have got to get out of here.

We need a plan. Okay, well, plan one is
for you to lower your goddamn voice.

This is as low
as I go, okay?

I say we bum-rush her and choke
her out with her own belt.

Dee, you're escalating shit.

This is exactly
what I'm talking about.

We immediately escalate everything
to a 10. it's ridiculous.

I mean, somebody comes in
with some preposterous plan or idea,

and then all of a sudden,
everybody's on the gas.

Nobody's on the brakes.
Nobody's thinking.

Everybody's just talking over each other
with one idiotic idea after another,

until finally,
we find ourselves in a situation...

where we've broken into somebody's
house, and the homeowner is home.

Yes, yes.

I'm sick of it, Dee.
Okay.

We can't do this anymore.
Okay.

We've got to examine
our process.

Fine. I'm on board with that. But right
now I'm trying to come up with solutions.

If you don't want
to choke her out, we won't.

But you need to help me come up with a
plan. This is breaking and entering.

Oh, my God.

Dee, your breath is hideous.

I mean, it smells bad.
Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God. We are really in
over our heads this time.

I'm saying this was
a totally avoidable situation.

I know. I know I'm not innocent
in all this, okay?

I know I shouldn't have stood on that
table and given that awesome speech...

about how I was the perfect one to lead us
into the house because of my wonderful grace.

I know that. I regret that now.
it was a very persuasive speech.

Oh, she's packing
a suitcase.

I definitely regret you getting
quadruple onions on your burger.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was
going to be trapped in a closet...

with you for the afternoon.

I definitely regret being dragged
along into this whole thing.

For what purpose
would you have been dragged?

You nosed your way into this
like you do with everything.

You are nothing but liabilities, Dee.
Oh, come on.

Loud voice,
breath reeks. Nosy.

Oh, she's leaving.
She's leaving.

[ Door Closes ]
She's gone.

Okay, okay. I'm gonna call
Mac and Charlie. Okay.

Guys, come 'm. Are you there'?
[ Mac ] Yes, Extraction Team.

What is your status?
Have you recovered the artifact yet?

No. We are off the artifact plan.

We are not doing
the artifact plan anymore.

It is a stupid plan.

Negative, negative.
it is an awesome plan, okay?

This family should not have the artifact.
it belongs in a museum.

Belongs in a museum, bro.

Adults should not be making plans
that are based on dumb movies!

Excuse me? Indiana Jones
is a dumb movie?

L-I like the first one.
Oh, God.

I like him as a character.
Oh, God, come on.

[ Dennis ] Okay, listen.
It's not about that.

I'm just saying that
the plan was genuinely dumb,

as many of our plans are,
I now realize.

What about your whole speech
about “I have the grace of a falcon,

and I'll be in and out
like a demon's whisper”?

Dude, you stood up on your ohair in that burger
restaurant and said that speech for everybody.

It was a damn good speech. It was
very persuasive. But I regret it now.

I gotta pee.
No.

Wait, wait. Dee- Dee,
what-what are you doing?

She could come back in here at any moment.
VVell, what-

[Mac] Indiana Jones,
part four; was dumb.

I'll give you that. [ Charlie
] I wouldn't even count it.

I'm gonna say Temple of Doom
's out for me, as well.

Is it out for you?
That's also dumb.

[ Charlie]
I liked that one.

Guys, can we talk about this later?

Frank, let's go. We're bailing.

I ain't going nowhere
until I get that vase.

Forget about the vase, Frank.
We're bailing on the vase, okay?

Frank's right actually, okay?

We gotta think about
what's best for the vase.

Yes, we are men of honor who protect
artifaots from those who steal them.

What? You didn't give a shit
about artifacts two hours ago.

So what? Now we do. Yeah. What's
that have to do with anything?

Well, we should not be committing crimes
based on beliefs that are two hours old.

Well, then don't read us newspaper articles
about stolen artifacts that outrage us.

That article was about how the museum is
holding an auction to raise money, okay?

Nothing was stolen.
The vase is not stolen.

As a matter of fact, only if we follow through
with this plan will the vase be stolen.

Well, you were the ones who escalated
us off of being the Extraction Team.

We could have gotten
in and out of there.

Well, escalate your way back
in, for all I give a shit.

I'm leaving. I quit.
Me too.

Well, I'm still in. Living on the edge.
it's making me feel alive.

- Shh! - See? Now, Frank, that is
why you are on the Extraction Team.

Frank's got the attitude. Dennis
has the grace. Dee nosed in.

She nosed 'm. [ Dee
] Dee was dragged.

Oh, shit. Extraction Team, there is an
S.U.V. pulling up in front of the house.

- There is a man getting out.
- Okay, I cannot see the driver's face,

but the subject
appears to have...

pointed feet of some kind.

Okay, I'm repeating here.

He has pointed feet,
so careful now.

[ Dennis ]
What does that mean?

He's wearing cowboy boots.

Okay, yes, I'm seeing now
that they are cowboy-

His feet could be pointed
on the inside, so let's be-

They're definitely not pointed on
the inside. How do you know that?

How do you know that?
They're definitely not.

I guess I can't say for sure.

[ Charlie j You don 7' kno w
for sure- [ Man ] Sweetheart?

You home? [Woman ]
Up here, darlin'!

Is she coming back up here? Why is she coming
back up here? Oh, shit, back in the closet.

Yippee-i-ki-yay.
[ Laughing ]

Hurry.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.
What the hell?

Oh. I just saw her put
the vase in the suitcase.

What? No. We can barely even tell
if that's a person and a suitcase.

I have to pee so bad. Deandra,
your breath is dog shit.

I know.

[Woman ]
What are you doing home?

[Man] I got a call from the alarm company.
They said it was the house.

- This is bad. - [Woman ]
Oh, I must have set if off.

I just popped by
to grab a jacket.

[ Man ]
I told you it'd be chilly.

[ Woman ] Yeah, you're always
right about that, honey.

- Well, I got an appointment, you know.
- [Man] Oh, yeah.

I'm heading back to the office.
Bye,sugan

- [ Woman ] Bye.
- What the hell was that?

Very strange.
That was close.

Give me a chip. No, no.
These are my chips.

You don't get a chip.
What's going on in there?

Basically, these people are Southern,
and the lady lied to the man.

[ Door Closes ]

Are they gone? I don't know.
Let's just quietly get out.

It's vase time, bitches.

What? No, no, no, no.
What are you doing, Frank?

We are in a very
dangerous situation here.

These people
are from the South.

That's weird. People from the South
don't usually move up north.

Oh, no, they come up. These carpetbaggers
come up by the truckload...

just to steal our artifacts.

Carpetbaggers, huh?
Yeah.

Give me a chip. No, you
don't get chips, Charlie!

God only knows what these people
will do to us if they catch us.

These Southerners, they probably pray
for a home invasion every single day.

They can't wait to get
their hands on home invaders...

so they can blast 'em
with shotguns...

and do God knows what
to them, Frank.

VVe1lbelucky if the only thing
that happens is we go to jail.

We have got to go.

If some hillbilly comes up to me,
I'm gonna lash him in the face.

No, Frank. They are always
armed to the teeth.

They will hog-tie us and hang us out on
the front lawn or burn us on a cross.

You're right, man.
You got to be careful.

Anytime you find out some dude's got a
crazy torture basement or something,

it's someone from the South.

It always is.
Extraction Team,

go down to the basement and see if
it's some kind of crazy type dungeon.

Yeah, yeah. Dungeons and tons of guns
and- Dude, please give me a chip.

You're not getting a chip, okay?
Come on!

Leave me alone
with the chips!

If you wanted chips, you coulcfve
gotten a bag at the hamburger store.

Don T ask me again! I can't
listen to this shit anymore.

Ooh! Ah! Hmm.

Q-tip holder. Shit.

Oh, problem solved.
Can we just get out of here?

Wait, wait. Hold on.
You need to see this.

Dee, you are nosing in.
Nip it in the bud.

A whole bunch of tickets
to The Jay Leno Show.

Who cares?
Listen to me.

Who wants to see Jay Leno
15, 16 times?

No one. No one wants to see him once.
At all, right?

I got a theory.

She's bangin' Leno.
She's having an affair with Leno.

Frank, if she was
bangin' Jay Leno,

why would she have to buy
a bunch of tickets to his show?

That's stupid, Frank. Use your head.
I've got an idea though.

She's trying to kill him. She's still
very upset about the whole Conan thing.

Oh, my God!
That's it. She's icing Leno.

She's packing her suitcase. She's
sneaking away from her husband.

Listen to me. These are
the theories of lunatics!

Okay. We have got to
get out of here now.

No. Yes, he's right. Let's go.

Back off, bitch.

I ain't leaving
until I get that vase.

Stop it! Stop it.
[Whip Cracks]

He's gonna hurt himself. Never
should have let him have that whip.

For Gods sake, let's just get out of here.
Let's go. Come on.

Okay, I think
the back door's this way.

[Clattering ]

Dee, you gangly,
uncoordinated bitch,

I am not getting hog-tied
over your lack of grace.

I hope they hog-tie you.

And then I hope they rape you
in their basement for 10 years.

Dee, listen to me.

[Woman ]
I'm telling you,

I have a weird feeling about this.

If he just randomly comes home
with some story about the alarm,

he knows something.

Look, we should just do it now.
Pull the trigger.

Pull the trigger?
What does that mean?

Who is she talking to? What is she
talking about pumngthetfiggeron?

I d0n't know.
I mean, until now,

I was thinking this Southern
violence talk was just bullshit.

It was just an escalation
of some kind. Mm-hmm.

But now I think it might not be,
you know what I mean? Mm-mmm.

Who is she talking to right now?
Who is that person?

They're gonna pull the trigger on somebody?
Jesus Christ.

I only ask because I think knowing this
might help us get out of this mess.

You know what I'm saying?
Mm-hmm.

What is going on with you, Dee? You should
be nosing into this like crazy right now.

I can't hold it anymore.
What?

The toilet's right behind you, so I'm
just gonna go ahead and pee in it.

Oh, no, no.

You are just gonna intentionally
spray DNA all over the crime scene.

I'm not gonna spray
anything anywhere.

Are you not familiar with how a
woman urinates? Yes, I am, Dee,

but you cannot flush the toilet.

It's going to make too much noise.

Then you're just gonna have
a bowlful of evidence.

You've got a really good point,
but I'm gonna do it anyway,

so it's happening.

Watch me.
Oh, my God.

You are all liabilities. Why did you
nose your way into this? I hate you.

I'm gonna go find
Mac and Charlie...

so they can create a diversion
so we can get the hell out of here.

[ Urinating ] Don't pee
with me in the room!

Right now, yeah.
Go ahead and go.

Oh, thank you, God.

Mac. Charlie. Come in.

Mac. Charlie.

I'm telling you, Charlie,
the situation is out of control.

Let's just get out of here
while we still can.

Without the guys?
Oh, they're as good as dead.

There's no telling what those
Southern people are gonna do to them.

You're right, man. Know what? We
should just get the hell out of here.

I mean out of Philadelphia. We should just
drive and drive and drive and not look back.

We should go to Arizona and open up that imported
leather shop that we've always talked about.

Oh, my God, the leathers. Yes.

The tasseled leathers,
the turquoise studs on the leathers.

All the leather.
Yeah.

Do you have the keys on you?
Yeah, let's get the keys.

Let's get out of here.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
I heard all that.

Were you holding down the button?
It was an accident.

I wasn't- It was just
sort of a reflex.

You're always holding
that thing down, and-

Sorry, Extraction Team. We were
having a- a leather conversation.

Doesn't really- Hey, um,
what's the status on the vase?

Do not take off on us!
I repeat, do not take off on us.

Leather shop in Arizona?
Are you serious?

There are far too many
leather shops in Arizona as it is.

You would be out of business
in a week's time.

What did you expect us to do?
You got us all freaked out in here,

sitting here waiting for the
Southerners to tie us up to horses...

and then have them run in opposite
directions, ripping us apart!

Yeah! How are we not
supposed to fantasize...

about opening up imported
leather shops in Arizona?

Yeah. Give me a chip. No,
you're not getting the chips!

The chips are off
the table, okay?

I want a chip! Give me a chip.
Don't bring up the chips.

He wants chips, and I asked him
in the store. You were there.

“Charlie, do you want a bag of
chips?” “No, I don't want chips.”

If you wanted
any goddamn chips,

you should have gotten a goddamn
chip at the hamburger shop!

Stop. Calm down.
Calm down. Listen.

We need the two of you to create a diversion
so that we can sneak out of the house.

[Toilet Flushes]
She just flushed the toilet.

Yeah, fine. it's just- Fine.
I'm just hungry.

We'll do a diversion.
Oh, shit, I just thought of something.

What?

What if this vase is cursed, okay?

Maybe that's why things
aren't going well, right?

If this vase has a curse on it,
you do not want to touch it.

I repeat, do not touch
this vase if you see it.

Pick it up with, like-
You know what?

Get a bag of sand
of some sort and-

Get- Get Dee to touch it. ls Dee there?
If you find Dee-

Are you still talking about the vase?
The vase is not cursed.

It's from the 1800s. It was a
time of science. [ Gasps ]

Jesus, Dee,
why did you flush the toilet?

Well, you had me all freaked out
about spray and DNA evidence.

What's going on
with Mac and Charlie?

I can't get them to stay focused.

They keep escalating
the conversation into evil curses...

and opening leather shops
in Arizona.

A leather shop in Arizona?
Yeah.

They'd be out of business in a week's time.
That's exactly what I said.

We need to split 'em up.
That's a good idea.

How do you propose we do that?
Hey, Charlie. Hey, it's Dee.

Listen. How come Maris the only one who
gets to push the button on the walkie?

Uh-

Let me get back to you on that.
[ Button Clicks ]

Where are you guys?
I'm in a little girl's room.

Frank, get back here. Mac: and
Charlie are gonna do a diversion.

No way. The little bitch has got a
suitcase. I'll bet the vase is in it.

No, no, I doubt that.
Yeah, yeah.

At this point, I doubt that this is even
the family mentioned in the article.

Frilly little dress,

pink nightie.

[ Gasps ]
Holy hell!

There's a teddy bear
and it's got something hard in it.

I'll bet the wife put the vase in the
teddy bear to steal it from the husband.

No, no, that is absolute insanity.

I'm gonna gut this thing.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, Frank.

[Grunting]

[ Teddy Bear]
Hi. I'm Elbert. I love you.

Hi. I'm Elbert. I love you.

H/'. I'm Elbert. I/ove you.
Shut up!

Hi. I'm Elbert. I love you.
Shut up.

That is outrageous. That is an
outrageous amount of noise.

/HZ/knéfibenfi/kmmayou;
Thafsloud.

Okay. I gotta smother it.

Frank, do not.
Frank, stop it.

Hi. I'm Elbert. I love you.

Hi. I'm Elbert-
Are you kidding me?

- Goddamn it.
- [ Voice Warps ]

How have we not been
caught at this point?

[ Dee, Dennis Gasp]
Hey, what's up, guys?

Charlie,
what are you doing here?

Isnuckin.

Mac was, like, being a dick
about the walkie-talkie.

He wouldn't let me push
the button and stuff. Dick.

So he can just sneak in,
but we can't seem to sneak out?

It wasn't easy. There's a ton
of closets in this house.

I didn't know which closet you were
in, okay? I had to look in a lot.

Well, now that we've
split you two idiots up,

maybe we can finally
get Mac to do a diversion.

[Girl]
Hi, Mama. I'm home.

Jesus Christ. Now there's
a kid in the house?

Mac, dude, a kid just walked into
the house. A little heads up.

Could you hold on
one second, Dennis?

[Woman ] That's a double-double cheeseburger
meal with a extra-large chocolate shake?

Can you go ahead and throw an extra
double cheeseburger on there, please?

'Cause I'm very hungry.

Mac, now is not the time to
run off and get a hamburger.

- We need your help!
- I didn't just run off, dude.

- I'm coming back.
- We need you to come back now.

We need you to create a diversion.
We have got to get out of this house.

What happened to Charlie's diversion?

Charlie doesn't know
what a diversion is apparently.

He just ran directly
into the house.

Fine. I'll be right back.

Okay, great. Thank you.
Hey, get chips this time.

I'm not getting you chips!

He got mad at me for
not getting- Shut up.

Well, you know what?
I'll be a plumber.

I'll knock on the front door, tell them I got
a deal on pipes, you guys run out the back.

[ Dennis ] That's a little
elaborate, but okay.

Ooh, I'll do a Swedish accent!

No, you do not do a Swedish accent.
You don't know how to do one.

And you don't need to, dude. These
people don't know who you are!

I can't just tell them that we're there
to steal their artifact, Dennis.

There is a huge amount of middle
ground between those two things.

[ With Swedish Accent ] I'm a Swedish
plumber. I'm here to fix your pipes.

That's good. That's a good accent.

Do a Philadelphia accent
if you insist on doing an accent.

I'm not going to do
a Philadelphia accent.

I'm gonna do a Swedish accent,
because that's what Indy would do.

[ Swedish Accent ] This will work, Dennis.
This will work.

Don't worry about it,
and don't worry about anything.

I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you!

Well, guys, looks like
we're on our own.

Let's just make our move.
Charlie, how'd you sneak in here?

Front door.

Let's just-

Front door? You just walked
right in the front door?

Well, I ran. I had a little hustle going.
But, yeah, front door.

Mm-hmm.

I'm beginning to think we should just
walk right out the front door then.

I'm beginning to think that this family
has zero awareness of their surroundings.

Let's go. Let's just go.
Oh, my God.

[Woman ] So, tell me, Madison,
do you like Disneyland?

[Girl ] Yeah. Well, we are
going there right now.

Surprise! I already packed
your suitcase.

Did you pack Binky?
Well, no, I packed Elbert.

[Girl ] I don't want Elbert.
I want Binky.

[Woman ] Go grab your Binky and
hurry up, 'cause we gotta go!

They're taking a family trip.
Frank, Frank, Frank!

L ill/e g/r/ coming your wa y. I'm gonna whip this
little bitch in the face if she makes a peep.

Binky.

Binky, Binky, Binky.

Binky!

We are assholes.

No one is planning to murder
Jay Leno or anyone else.

This is a nice woman planning a
surprise California vacation.

Dangerous family? No.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]

Barry!
What took you so long?

[Girl ]
Mama, how come Barry's here?

Oh, well, uh, he's coming with us
to Disneyland instead of Daddy.

[ Barry] How'd you like it if we
could go to Disneyland every day?

[ Girl ] Are we going to California?
Without Daddy?

Well, I'll be your new daddy.
Uh-oh.

[ Dennis] Come on. Oh, my
God, did you hear that?

What does that mean, new Daddy?
She's having an affair,

and they're all going to Disneyland.
[ Tires Screeching ]

Oh!

[ Man ] Barry, I followed you, you
son of a bitch. That's the dad.

That's the dad. Dads home.
Dads home!

Oh, my God. So they're
gonna confront each other.

- [ Man ] How could you do this to me'?
- [Girl Crying]

[ Man ] Do you still love me?
[Woman ] I don't know anymore.

[ Barry ] Look, I love her, man.
Very sad.

[Man ] Shut the hell up, or I
will beat the hell out of you.

Shit.
Let's just make a break for it.

Are you kidding me? This whole
thing's coming to a head right now.

There's gonna be
a massacre out there.

[ Man ]
Everybody shut up!

Now, let's all
just calm down.

We'll talk this thing out
like a family.

I don't care
if it takes all night.

[Groaning]

Oh, God, no. All night?

I can't do all night, you guys.
I don't have it in me.

Screw it.

Let's just walk right out.

They're not gonna notice. They got
a lot on their- Walk right out.

Their marriage is falling apart.
Walk right out.

They got too much on their plate.
I'm just gonna walk right out.

Keep your eyes down.
Let's do it.

[Girl Crying] [ Man ] I'm
trying to make this work,

but if you wanna go, you can go.

But you're not taking
my little girl.

Hello.
Hey.

[ Knocking ]

Hello! I am a Swedish plumber- No, no.
Uh, Mac.

[ Charlie ]
Frank, we're outta here!

[ Frank]
Yo!

Oh.
[ Chuckles ]

The vase!

[All Yelling]

Shit!

All right, we'll just, uh-
Why don't we head out?

Should've “sidewaysed” it.
Nah. We should just-

Thank you.

It was weird that they were Asian, right?
[ Mac] Yeah.

[ Charlie ] Very weird. [ Dennis
] Was not expecting that.

[ Voices Speaking Backwards]

English - US - PSDH