All language subtitles for 7x06 - The Storm of the Century

[ Woman On TV] We're looking at one
of the most powerful storm systems...

ever to hit the Philadelphia area, folks.

As the hurricane moves
up the East Coast,

we're already starting to feel
its impact with heavy winds,

and everyone is bracing themselves
for torrential rainfall.

Oh, my God. [ Woman
Continues, indistinct]

I've never seen anything
of this magnitude.

I can't believe
how severe this is.

They get bigger
and bigger every year.

We're expecting
20 to 30 inches.

Philadelphia,
this is dangerous.

Stay indoors and be safe.

Well, I, for one, would like
to meet this Jackie Denardo...

and see if her breasts
are as staggering in person.

Guys, maybe we should
get a 3-D TV.

[ Mac ] The breasts are only
going to keep getting bigger,

and we need the latest
technology to keep up.

Are you guys kidding me?
You're focused on boobies...

at a time when a massive storm
is about to hit Philadelphia?

It's a hurricane
we're talking about.

She's talking about it,
and, you know,

we're sort of listening
and we're enjoying her breasts.

Just let us have this.
Yeah.

The breasts make you care about the
weather in a really good way, not-

Guys, maybe she's right.

Maybe we are too focused
on this woman's breasts.

Switch it to the other news channel.
[Denardo] ...Channel 5 News.

Amigos, tenemos-

[ Guys Whooping ] Cha-cha-cha!
[Rica]

Oh, man! It' s in ternac/'onafi/
it's on every channel.

- These are the breasts we should focus on.
- Hey-ho! What's up'?

[Guys Grunting, Muttering
] What are you wearing?

I got all riled up by the weather report.
Ain't a drop of rain out there.

- So I put this old trash bag on to keep myself
protected. - You did it for nothing, huh'?

Yeah. it's media hype hyping up the storm,
making people all nervous about it.

I don't know, Frank.
I don't think this is hype,

'cause they're calling it
the storm of the century.

I'll tell you what, Dee, um,
because you m/jghz' be right,

I think it's worth switching
over to the other channel.

Because I feel like the coverage was
a little bit more... extensive.

- As you can see behind me-
- [ Dennis] Ho! Look at that!

Oh, come on! Ooh! Yeah!

♪♪ [ TV: News Theme] I'm
broadcasting to you live...

from the All American
Home Center...

wh ere shoppers are facing long lines i0
buy supplies for the hurricane expected-

They're talking about evacuating
the city.

Guys, maybe this is more serious
than we thought.

Yeah, it's serious.
It's a Category 5 storm.

We've got to get ready.

Oh, shit.

Dude, maybe the Mexicans
were right.

What are you talking about?

The Mexicans predicted that the
world was gonna end in 2012.

That was the Mayans, dude.

Mayans, Mexicans-
what's the difference?

One difference is that
the Mayans are extinct.

Yeah. The Mexicans
killed the Mayans.

No, the Spaniards banged the
Mayans, turned 'em into Mexicans.

Oh, guys, this
doesn't look good.

Okay, we're now getting
unconfirmed reports...

of sporadic looting in cities
along the East Coast.

People are looting now?
Come on.

Ah, it's the media. They hype the storm.
They hype the looting.

- It's all for ratings.
- Whatever.

Either way, I think we should
head up to higher ground,

you know,
get to the Poconos.

Nah, you don't want to go up in
the mountains. Are you crazy?

That's just putting you
closer to the storm.

You want to go low,
low as can be.

All right, you know what? We gotta
stop pussy-dicking around here, okay?

- It's time to get in the bunker.
- Bunker? What bunker?

Yeah, we, uh- We converted
this old storage closet...

into a place where
we could ride out Y2K.

[Scoffing ]
Ha! Y2K-

perfect example of how the press hypes
everything to no end and nothing happens.

We know that now, Frank, but,
back then, we were pretty scared.

Yeah, but why
were we so scared?

Dee got us all worked up about the
computers taking over mankind,

and then she had us
build this bunker.

Yeah, rcbcpocalypse- machines
communicating with each other...

and conspiring
to destroy the human race.

That is complete nonsense, Deandra.
lsitnonsense?

Is it nonsense? Or is it nonsense
that we rely solely on computers...

to run every aspect
ofourHves,huh?

Hysterical. She's hysterical.
Calm down, Dee.

Here, come check out the bunker.
it's pretty cool.

What the hell? What the hell
happened to the bunker?

We, uh- We raided the bunker
directly after Y2K.

Well, now it's empty.

Now there's nothing
in here for us to use.

And why is there a condom
wrapper on the floor?

You've probably been banging in
the bunker, right? [Chuckling ]

Guilty. I've been watching
him bang in here.

Have you?
Weird. Weird.

The bunker's for emergencies.
This is not a joke.

Yeah, well, whatever, you know.
That's an emergency, I guess.

I see that somebody's
also been eating...

alotofyour weird canned foods
and sardines, Charlie.

- Yeah, where's all my- - Yeah, he
was probably down here with Mac...

watching you rape girls
and eating pickled eggs.

I don't rape girls.
Come on.

Yeah, and I don't eat
that many pickled eggs.

But, well, you know what?

Let's stock up on some more
pickled eggs down here though.

That's a good idea. Let's go
to the All American Home store.

We can get all
of our supplies there.

The All American?
Yeah.

That's the place with
the weather- Yeah!

Let's go there. Let's go there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait. You're gonna actually go...

where the media is advertising?

Come on, Frank, it's not
like we've never been...

to the All American
Home Center before.

It's in our minds, you know.
And she's in my mind.

Let's go there. it's settled.
[ Dee] Right, I know.

But first, we need to board up windows.
Frank, you help me with this plywood.

And you guys can each grab a box
over there, and then we'll-

And they've left.
They've left now.

I'm only still here 'cause
I'm not as quick as them.

Is that a pickled egg?

No. it's an egg
I brought from home.

[ Man On P. A - ] A lien Zion, all A
ll A mar/can Home Center shoppers-

People seem pretty amped up.

We should get our supplies
before they sell out.

Yeah, for sure. We should come up
with a plan, and we should divide up.

Oh, my God.
Ooh-hoo-hoo.

Aw! They're spectacular. Wow!

[Mac] Imagine
that image in 3-D.

- [Dennis] Oh, baby.
- [Charlie] Yeah. Oh, my God.

Guys, I'm telling you, we should
get one of these 3-D TVs.

Yeah, totally,
but not now, okay?

We can't spend our money
on a 3-D TV.

Right, right. All right, we gotta get the
supplies, head up to the Poconos ASAP.

Come on. I don't know.
Let's think about this.

For all we know, it could
be the end of days.

No, it's not the end of days.
I don't wanna go uphill.

Guys, it's not the end of days.
Calm down.

It's just a storm, okay?

We'll get some batteries.
We'll get some supplies.

Food. We'll get food.

Yeah, we'll get food.

But I feel like you didn't-
You didn't say food.

Yeah, we'll get food, okay?
Jesus Christ. Relax!

Okay, yeah, I'm-
I'm getting crazy.

All right, I'll get the food.
Yeah. Oh, my God.

You guys get the supplies.
Okay, we'll get the supplies.

Okay. Okay. Give us
the cash because-

No, no, it's okay. I have Frank's
credit card. You take the cash.

You got the cash. We got
the credit card. Let's go.

Hey, you know what I was thinking?
In addition to supplies,

it might be nice to grab some girls,
you know, get them back to the bar.

This Jackie Denardo chick-
she's, uh,

sparked another storm inside me, if you
know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Might be nice to ride the storm
out with some chicks. Yeah, yeah.

We could use 'em to repopulate the planet or
something. That'll be great to have them.

I'm not going to entertain this notion
anymore. I don't want to hear it.

I'd at least like to find one, like, Mexican
or Mayan or something for predictions.

No, but get
some batteries though.

You be the battery guy, andl1lbethe-
the “chicks and tits” guy.

All right.

Frank! Frank, you want to
come help me do this or what?

No. Come over here.
I want you to see this.

Frank-
Come on, check this out.

At any moment, hoards of maniacs could
come pouring through the windows.

This doesn't concern you?
Come on, Deandra.

Please come over here and
sit down, look at this.

[Sighs]
What?

You remember years ago there
was a storm in New Orleans?

Hurricane Katrina?
Yes.

Yeah, I remember it. Mm-hmm.
Okay, check this out.

What do you think those people
are doing- surviving or looting?

[ People Shouting,
Clamoring ]

They're surviving.
Ah. Okay.

Do you remember a man named Rodney King?
Yes, of course I do.

Okay, the L.A.P.D.
worked him over really good.

Yes. Okay. This was taken
during the Rodney King riots.

What do you think these people
are doing- looting or surviving?

[ People Shouting,
Clamoring ]

Well, they're looting.
Ah, of course.

It's the media, see? When it's
white people, it's survival.

And when it's black people,
ifsloofing.

No, Frank. it's because the white
people are stealing bread...

and the black people
are stealing speakers.

If the white people were stealing stereo
equipment, I would say they were looting too.

How do you know the blacks don't
have bread in those speakers?

What are you talking about? What are
we talking about right now? Listen!

There are big things to do. Calm down.
This is the best part.

More?
Yeah. Just check this out.

This was taken
during the riots.

Do you recognize
anybody in there?

What are you doing
in the video?

Ihappened to be out in L.A.
during the riots.

I was on business. And to
steal ski equipment, lguess.

Yeah, well, I went in for a loaf of bread.
I took some skis.

Everybody's happy. Not the
people who own the skis.

[ Gasps ] Oh, shit!
All right, calm-

Oh, my God! The power went out!
Calm down.

This is terrible!
We gotta get- Jesus!

That's why I like to have this
little baby with me. Goddamn it!

Come on.
Let's go! To bunker!

You come with me. Yeah, go first.
Don't-

Just be careful with that.

[ Dennis ] We're gonna
call it a hurricane party.

It's gonna be cool.
it's gonna be awesome.

What's a hurricane party? A hurricane
party's exactly what it sounds like.

It's a party during a hurricane
at our bar- Paddy's Pub.

I've heard of that bar. Yeah?

Hey! Hello!
[ Laughing ]

All right! All right! Hi.

Crazy, crazy weather coming our way.
Yeah.

You trying to get these girls
down to the bunker, or-

Oh, no, I'm-I'm inviting them back
to our very cool bar that we own.

Oh! Cool, cool. Yeah, we
got a sweet bunker too.

It's, like, so secure, people can't get
in or out if we don't want 'em to.

We'll be, like, totally
safe down there. Yeah.

I got a bunch of supplies.
You guys like pickled eggs?

[ Laughing ]
We got sardines too.

Yeah, we got a bunch of other,
you know, normal food...

and normal stuff there too.
Yeah.

Yeah, it's a great bar. Gonna
be free drinks for everybody.

So you'll come.
You'll party with us.

And you- Bring your
girlfriends, too, you know?

Sure. We don't want
just the two of you.

You got to bring your girlfriends.
That's a requirement.

[ Uneasily]
Sounds like fun.

Can our boyfriends
come too?

Oh.

Your boyfriends?

Yeah, our boyfriends.

You two have boyfriends?

How did you not know...

that the reason I invited
you back to my bar...

was to bang you?

Get outta here.

Get the hell outta here!
Get- Get outta here!

- Shoo away from me!
- You're a dick.

You're a dick. She's
a- I'm not a dick.

[ Mutters, Huffs]

It's okay.
Take it easy, all right?

Wh-Wh-What was that? That was too dark.
They lied to me.

Oh, okay. Well, just
let it go, all right?

If you want to entice these ladies,
you gotta talk about the bunker.

You got to lead with the bunker.
No.

You end with the bunker. Or you
don't talk about the bunker at all.

Are you kidding me?
What are you wearing?

Dude, they have amazing stuff here.
I'm totally prepared.

Check this out.

How sweet is that? Dude,
what are you- Drop that.

Are you kidding me? You think girls are
gonna want to come back to a bar...

with a man dressed the way you're
dressed and carrying a hatchet?

Yeah. They're gonna be like,
“Look at this sweet dude-

his awesome gear
and his awesome hatchet.

He's prepared.
He's ready for anything.

Storm coming?
Hatchet coming.”

Dude, I have an idea. I'm gonna
go to the Office section.

Meet me in the Office section.
Okay. All right, good.

I'll find Mac, 'cause we gotta get out
of here, man. Okay, yeah. No, um-

- Let's- Lose the hatchet.
- Come on, man. The-

I got another hatchet.
Don't you worry about that.

[ Chuckling ]

[ Frank]
Dark as shit in here.

It's very creepy. Let's
just get to the bunker.

- [ Scuttling ] - What was that?
Was that a rat?

It was a looter. What- [ Gasps ]

Behind us.
[ Scurrying ]

- Oh, a looter! Shoot him!
- [ Hammer Cocks]

- No, don't shoot! it's Cricket!
- [ Gunshot ]

[ Cricket Groaning ]
Ooh! No!

- [ Frank] Cricket! - Oh, what are
you doing down here, Cricket?

Aah! I come down to the bunker
sometimes when it rains.

Oh, we got to get him
to the hospital!

No, I ain't goin'
to no hospital.

They euthanize the homeless.
They're goddamned death camps!

- You got no hand, Cricket!
- I have a hand, Frank.

It's-it's a little- I have a hole in it.
Big deal.

Frank, I'm gonna be
honest with you.

I don't really wanna go to
the hospital either because-

We're gonna be there
when the hurricane hits,

and it's gonna be packed
to the gills with vagrants.

Are you out of your mind? This
man is bleeding to death here!

You know what we could do? We could
dress him up and take him upstairs.

Then the looters would think
he's the owner of the bar,

and they'd have their way
with him, and, if he died,

you know, it's on them
and-and not on us.

That-That's good.
Let's just do that.

Don't listen to him!
He's delirious!

- You're bleeding out, Cricket!
- it's nothing. Frank, this is nothing.

Goddamn it! All right, Cricket. All right,
fine. We'll go. We'll go to the hospital.

Frank, we are coming right back
here after we drop him off...

to be where we are safe in
the bunker, where we belong.

- Okay, let's go! - [
Frank ] Okay, get out.

You're marching me
to the ovens!

Dennis!

There you are, dude. Dude, things are
getting kind of bad in here, man.

Like, people are
all worked up, right?

I've been trying to find Mac. He's
not answering my phone calls.

I went out to the parking lot to see if he was
out there hiding out in the car or something.

He took off!
Car's gone!

Mmm, well, clearly, he's
evacuated to the Poconos.

Do you really think he'd do that to us?
Absolutely do that to us.

I don't know.
This is bad, dude.

What you got here?
What you working on?

Oh, this is great. This is
an agreement for the women.

Yeah, it guarantees that whoever
comes back to the bar with us...

agrees to follow all the rules
that we set forth.

That's smart. Walk me through the details.
What you got, Dennis?

It's all very simple, Charlie.
Very simple stuff.

Um, “I- state your name”-
Charlie Kelly.

Hmm? Well, not your name.

Oh.
Their name.

[ Scoffs ] “Being of
sound mind and body,

do solemnly pledge that I
do not have a boyfriend,

nor am I currently engaged
in a sexual relationship...

with another individual,
females excluded.” Right.

“L hereby agree
to be easygoing,

to engage in playful
conversation,

to always act as though I desire
your penis even when I don't.”

Yeah. It sort of goes on and
on like that for a while.

I love it. Where do I sign? Again,
um, you don't sign anywhere.

If we're doing a contract,
I want to sign it, so-

This isn't a contract for you, Charlie.
Uh, it's not?

This is a contract-
[ Bell 7'0//s ]

♪♪ [ Rock Anthem ] ♪ Till now,
I always got by on my own ♪

♪ I never really cared
until I met you ♪

♪ And now it chills me
to the bone ♪

♪ How do I get you alone? ♪♪

[ Exhales]
Oh, my God.

Charlie, I might be
in love with this woman.

Not for the right reasons, rnkuiyou.
lgotanidea.

Yeah. Let's get her back
to the bunker, right?

She's the perfect kind of woman
to start over the new world with.

We would create a race of super
giant-breasted women, you know?

I'd start sleeping with your daughters.
You'd sleep with my daughters.

I'd sleep with your daughters'
daughters.

You'd sleep with my daughters'
daughters.

We die, our sons would sleep with our
daughters' daughters' daughters.

It's like a perfect society.

I see where y0u're going with that, but it
sounds like it could get a little messy.

It could get a little stick- Let's
work out a new agreement, you know.

All right, we'll come up with a separate
agreement. Who sleeps with whose daughter?

Okay, that sounds good. All right,
I'm gonna go talk to this woman.

All right, okay. Okay.
All right, okay.

Um-
Um-

I gotta say, man, this woman's
really throwing me off, dude.

I feel very, very nervous.
I don't usually get nervous.

You want me to help you out?
Yeah. No.

If Igyaoverflmwe with you.
No,no,n0.

I want you to stay as far
away from me as possible.

You're standing too close
to me as it is actually.

Have you gotten into the cheese?
There's a whole cheese section.

I bet there is.
I went nuts.

All right, well, you stink. Mm-hmm.
All right, you know what?

I'll find Frank. He'll pick us up.
Okay, yeah, go call Frank.

I'm gonna go talk
to the, uh-

I don't think I can do it dressed
like this though. I look ridiculous.

[ Dee Hyperventilating ]

You guys, I don't mean to be a bother,
but are we almost at the hospital?

Shut the hell up,
Cricket! Okay?

I'm driving as fast as I can!
Do you not see that?

Move!
[ Gasping ]

What are you doing,
Frank?

What are you doing, Frank?
I'm getting air.

You're sucking it all up with your
panicking. it's freezing outside.

You're gonna catch cold, and then
everyone's gonna get sick in the bunker.

What are you talking about?
Freezing? it's sunny as shit.

[ Wheezing ] Will you calm
down, for crying out loud?

You're gonna give me
a heart attack!

[ Exhales]
[Cell Phone Rings]

Oh, all right.
Let's go.

It's Charlie. Yo!

You're shittin' me!
Huh?

God!

Mac went to the Poconos,

left them stranded by the All
American with the supplies!

With the supplies?
No! No, no, no, no!

I'm not getting stranded in
the bunker with no supplies!

[Tires Squealing ]

You guys, what about me?
Fn1H1paHmlWnin- Shut up!

Goddamn you, Cricket! Goddamn you!
it's not about you!

I'm gonna pick up the guys. I'm
gonna drop you off at the hospital.

It's gonna take
two seconds, okay?

Is that okay, Cricket,
with you? Huh?

Go!
[ Horn Honking ]

Come on, come on!
Get outta the way!

[Sighs]
I don't wanna die.

Don't make me do it, Cricket.
I will slice you in half!

[Whimpers]

As you can see
behind me, Larry,

the storm is really taking
its toll on weary shoppers.

The lines are still long as frustrated
customers wait anxiously...

to return home with some
emergency supplies...

before the worst
of the storm hits.

Jackie Denardo,
Channel 5 News.

We out? Good.

[ Stammering ]
Hi. Hi.

L't'S- Hi.

[Murmuring]

I'm Dennis- Reynolds.

Hi. Hi... Dennis.

I have a bar. I own a bar.
It's my bar.

And I wanted to invite you
to it- [ Exhales ] for-

Uh, we have food and supplies,
and it would be a good place-

This storm is gonna
be bad, as you know.

So why not be at the bar
with me, urn,

and, you know,
for the good of the race?

So come to the bar and, uh-

Oh, and I have a contra- an agreement.
[ Cell Phone Vibrating ]

Uh, excuse me, sir.
And I need you to sign-

Yes'? [ Man ] Yeah,
it's about the storm.

Storm is no! gonna hi!
Philly. Okay?

It's just gonna drizzle.

Ream'?
Yeah.

How am I supposed to turn that into news?
I don 7 know.

Find some other we y I0
make these people g0 nuts.

We need a story.
Okay, thanks.

[Beeps]

Hey, Todd. Storm's
just been downgraded.

Apparently we're just gonna
get a light drizzle.

Goddamn it!
I have a bunker.

Maybe we can turn this
into global warming.

That always gets people
whipped up, huh?

Get-Get-Get- if you get
in the bunker with me,

then you'll be totally safe.

For the good of the race,
we can create an entire-

Oh, my God!
Get lost, creep!

[ Dog Barking 1

[ Barking ]

You're gonna treat me like a dog, huh?
[ Barking Continues ]

You're gonna
treat Cricket like a dog?

Hospital.

[Gasping ]
Hospital.

Come on. Come on. [
Cash Register Beeping ]

Hurry it up.
Move it along.

He's taking forever.
We're gonna die in-

Hey, you look kind of Mayan. You wouldn't
happen to be a Mayan, would you?

Charlie!
Charlie, there you are.

I think I found a Mayan. We've
been looking all over for you.

Crickefs out in the car
bleeding like a pig. Seriously?

We gotta get the supplies right away.
I got great supplies.

I've been getting all sorts of stuff.
Things that would-

Hey! Hey, hey!
That's my cart.

Hey, folks!
Folks, listen up!

I'm sorry, but
our credit card machines...

just went down
due to a system overload.

We can only accept cash
at this time.

What?
Shit!

- Okay, well, you got cash?
- I only have cards.

Charlie, where's the cash
I gave you?

Mao took off with all our cash!
He just took off!

What?
We're gonna die.

I told you! I told you!

I told you we're
dependent on machines.

You guys, once the machines go
down, then society collapses!

We're going to hell
in a handcart.

I got a plan, okay? Let's
just start looting shit.

Yes! Let's just grab shit. Let's
just grab whatever we can.

No, you can't loot until the
crowd whips up into a frenzy.

The crowd is whipped up into a frenzy.
They just stole my cart!

L-I think the time
will be evident.

Well, what are we waiting for?
I d0n't know.

[Crowd Gasping ]

$53.? 1

Loot! Loot! Time to loot!
Loot! Loot! Loot!

[ Frank ] Take everything-
and anything!

Kill the machines!

It's their fault!

Kill the machines
before they kill us!

[ Dee Ranting ]
You son of a bitch!

Come on, come on, come on.
Get it, get it, get it.

Just seconds ago, a car crashed
through the building,

and the crowd is scattering.

Despite the fact that the
storm has been downgraded,

the people have worked themselves
into an uncontrollable frenzy!

It's the end of days!
This is the end of days!

Pandemonium has struck!

Come to the bunker! Come to the bunker!
[ Screaming, Whimpering ]

Dennis, I got her!
Dennis, I got her!

[ Cro W0' Screaming ] [
Dee ] Son of a bitch!

[ Cricket]
Is this the hospital?

[ Man ]
This isn't a hospital.

[ Speaking Span/sh ]
[Mac Chuckling ]

3-D boobies.

Now this is news.

Ahora, esta tormenta no ha
pasado todavia. [Laughing]

Por favor,
vayan a la tienda.

Agarren las cosas
que necesiten para-

[ Voices Speaking Backwards]

English - US - PSDH