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1
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:09,170
[ Men] Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
2
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,607
Burn! Burn! Burn! Burn!
Hey!
3
00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,889
Burn! Burn! Burn! Yeah. Cool.
What are you guys burning?
4
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,406
Bunch of garbage
that's just taking up space.
5
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:21,161
No, goddamn it! Wait. Frank, why are
you burning our photo album pictures?
6
00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,607
What do you mean?
Because it's trash.
7
00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:25,284
You kidding me?
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,011
Dude, these are all the pictures
from our Jersey Shore vacations.
9
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,531
You were gonna burn these?
Yeah.
10
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,250
These were like
the happiest days of our lives.
11
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:33,368
Oh, come on.
Jersey Shore sucked.
12
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,727
The Shore didn't suck, Frank.
You sucked, okay?
13
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,723
You just complained the whole time
and ruined it for everyone else.
14
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,406
Yeah, because I had to do all the work.
I never got to relax.
15
00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,130
I would love to go
on a vacation.
16
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,362
Oh, my God. Me too.
I would love to go on a vacation.
17
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:45,891
Yeah, but not
to the Jersey Shore though.
18
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,724
That place sounds
like a nightmare.
19
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,406
- What's wrong with the Jersey Shore?
- You've seen that TV show.
20
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:52,528
It's just a bunch
of sweaty guidos...
21
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,809
getting hopped up on energy drinks
and giving each other diseases.
22
00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,405
The Jersey Shore
is nothing like that.
23
00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,687
It's a magical place
where people swim in the ocean...
24
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,445
and they get to ride on fun rides
and they get to have their first kiss.
25
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,524
- Dude, you would love it. - Well, hang
on a second. I've never seen the ocean.
26
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,683
L- I could get into that if you guys
wanna go down to the Shore.
27
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,205
_ I:
" Yes! IS 1 AW- yes!
28
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,203
- We should all go to the Shore together.
- I'll tell you what.
29
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,523
Maybe I'll knock myself out
and we'll head down to the Shore.
30
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,762
Yeah, but I feel like you're just gonna screw
it up if you try and knock yourself out.
31
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,123
You're probably gonna oome to halfway there
and then complain the rest of the time.
32
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:22,884
I'll tell you what.
Why don't I take the rag?
33
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,486
I'll get the chloroform. I'll
get you when you leastexpeotfl.
34
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,090
All right, sweet.
Yeah?
35
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,561
Yeah! Going down
to the Jersey Shore!
36
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,130
Yeah, going to
the Shore, baby!
37
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,726
Now, this ocean- explain it to me.
It goes on forever?
38
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,131
[ Grunts ]
[ Mutters ]
39
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,521
Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
[Grunts]
40
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,682
So I woke up, like,
halfway there,
41
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,683
and then you just
snuffed me out again, huh, Mac?
42
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,604
Oh, this place turned
into a major shithole.
43
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,682
It does not look exactly the
way I remember it looking.
44
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,603
[ Dee ] No, it's different.
it's different.
45
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,968
The guy at the front desk said there was a
meth lab explosion, so the hotel burned down.
46
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,485
They had to rebuild it.
Something like that.
47
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,483
- There's a smell too, like-
- Don't sweat it, you guys.
48
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:24,131
With any luck at all, we won't
be spending any time here,
49
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,766
Yes! so just think of
it more like a locker.
50
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,286
I'm sorry. ls no one gonna
talk about Dee's hair?
51
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,328
I was waiting to pounce. I just
didn't know what our cue was.
52
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,528
I was waiting for Dennis
to jump on top of it.
53
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,244
And then we were gonna slay her.
Yeah.
54
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,971
No, no. it's fine. All the cool girls
get their hair braided at the Shore.
55
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,923
I think she looks like Bo Derek.
Thank you, Dennis.
56
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,526
Mm-hmm. Dee and I have some very
fond memories of the Shore.
57
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,404
We're not gonna have you
sullying those great memories...
58
00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,085
with all your goddamn insults.
Mm-mmm.
59
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,730
Are you
drinking sunscreen?
60
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,327
No, no. it's a decoy. We're drinking
tequila out of sunscreen bottles.
61
00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,046
Very strict open container laws
here at the Jersey Shore.
62
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,645
Cheers.
63
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,001
Holy shit!
64
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,521
Is that the ocean? [ Dee ] Yep.
65
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,602
Yeah, buddy,
that's the ocean.
66
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,603
What's on the other side
of it there?
67
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,131
Europe.
Yeah.
68
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,281
How long would it take-
69
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,970
No. Do not try and
swim to Europe.
70
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,168
Don't swim to Europe.
[ Frank] Do not.
71
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:14,651
Why don't you stick
with Dee and I...
72
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,643
because we can show you the
ropes here at the Jersey Shore.
73
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,042
All right, everybody,
you know what time it is!
74
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:21,690
Let's go strut
the beach.
75
00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:23,922
Not struttin' shit.
No beach struttin' for me.
76
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,367
I'm gonna find a place
to relax and unwind.
77
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,204
- [ Mac] Frank, I'm with you.
- [ Frank] Yeah.
78
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,045
Grab us some booze. I'll go down to the
beach and get us some prime real estate...
79
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,009
before those gorilla
dickheads get down there.
80
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,167
Yeah.
[All Laughing]
81
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,090
Gonna relax. Let's do it!
Let's get out of here.
82
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,928
[ Dee ] Oh, man, this ocean
breeze feels so good on my scalp.
83
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,810
Yeah, it feels awesome.
The sand feels good beneath my feet.
84
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,649
Uh-huh.
I'm a little curious...
85
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,411
as to where all the people are though.
No idea. No idea.
86
00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,721
Didn't want to say anything. Didn't want to
ruin the mood, but where are the people?
87
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,802
I'm seeing a lot more dogs
than people, right?
88
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,366
[ Dennis ]
There are a shit ton of dogs out here.
89
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,528
Where are their masters? I don't
think these clogs have masters.
90
00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,250
I think these dogs
play by their own rules.
91
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,721
Well, clearly, the action
has shifted elsewhere.
92
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,889
Wanna go to the boardwalk? Hey,
let's go to the boardwalk!
93
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:06,882
Yes!
Yeah!
94
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,041
Hey, Charlie!
Charlie!
95
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,083
Come here!
[Laughs]
96
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,323
Dude! Oh, my God!
This place is amazing!
97
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,521
Right?
Yeah!
98
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,251
And the sunblock drink?
Nice, guys.
99
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,489
They're really good. They're really good.
Thing is, I didn't make you one.
100
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:22,966
Oh!
Ah.
101
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,441
Jesus Christ, Charlie.
You're drinking sunblock.
102
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,000
It's good. It gets you- It
gets you all- [ Groaning ]
103
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:30,441
Yeah, you're ingesting viscous
chemicals, and they're getting you high.
104
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,210
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter.
105
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:34,607
We're going to the boardwalk.
What do you say? Oh, really?
106
00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,324
You wanna leave?
Yeah.
107
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,880
I feel like we're just scratching the
surface of all the cool shit out here.
108
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,371
What cool shit?
109
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,330
Well, the sea specimens,
the stray dogs,
110
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,051
the trash that floated
over from Europe.
111
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,408
Yeah, but we didn't come here to
play with stray dogs and trash, man.
112
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,130
We came here
to soak up the culture.
113
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,050
And the boardwalk is the cultural center
of the Jersey Shore, so let's go there.
114
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,924
Come on, man!
Yeah, all right.
115
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,570
Going
to the boardwalk.
116
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,288
Yo, Mac,
117
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,807
you see that sign there
that says “Toxic Spill”?
118
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,564
Yeah.
What's that?
119
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,847
Disregard that, Frank.
It's a bunch of liberal bullshit.
120
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,606
Right. Right. This is a nice spot.
Yeah, yeah.
121
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,331
Whoa! What's that? You were
supposed to get booze.
122
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:25,121
Oh, this is ham
soaked in rum.
123
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,202
It is loaded with booze.
124
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:31,080
Goddamn it, Frank, eating your drinks?
That is genius!
125
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,406
Ow! [Laughs] What?
126
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,891
What the-
127
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:35,849
What the- What is that?
128
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,247
Oh, yeah.
I got stuck with a needle.
129
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,529
Yeah, that's a syringe. Be careful.
They are everywhere.
130
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,444
The beach is full of syringes.
Why is that?
131
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,648
Well, we're in the steroid
capital of the world, Frank.
132
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,530
To be honest with you,
as a man who works very hard...
133
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,321
to maintain a certain level of physical
excellence, I find shortcuts insulting.
134
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,283
Now give me a piece of ham now.
[Chuckles]
135
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,966
Hey, check that out. What-
136
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,242
What the hell's a dog doing here?
Hey, get out of here!
137
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,771
Get out of here!
Get out of here!
138
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,564
Goddamn dogs.
I'm telling you, dude.
139
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,005
The were lurking before.
Now they're swarming.
140
00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,731
I'm not sharing my ham
with no dogs.
141
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,484
I got a great idea.
142
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:16,241
Hey, warm sun,
cool ocean breezes,
143
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,170
getting ripshit on ham.
[Laughs]
144
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,527
Might you say
we're getting “hammered”?
145
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,371
Oh! Nice one.
[Laughs]
146
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,410
This was a great idea, Frank.
Great idea.
147
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:28,891
This is 90-proof ham.
148
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,371
Screw you, mutts!
149
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,966
[ Barking ]
150
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,882
Get out of here, you bitch!
Come and get it.
151
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,010
Stupid dogs. We outsmarted
those dogs, Frank. [Laughs]
152
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,568
- Dude, this is the boardwalk, man.
- Yeah!
153
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,165
This is amazing.
154
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,083
It's a little bit more desolate
than I was hoping it would be.
155
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,571
Yeah, but that's okay.
It's still really great.
156
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,881
Charlie, there's all kinds
of rides and games...
157
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,485
and opportunities
to win stuffed toys.
158
00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,001
Yeah, man, the boardwalk
is a blast, man.
159
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,765
But it is under the boardwalk
where the action really happens.
160
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,001
Trust me, pal.
Oh, yeah?
161
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,770
Yeah.
Oh, what's down there?
162
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,524
Oh, Charlie, come on.
163
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,441
So under the boardwalk's where
it's at, huh? Yeah, man.
164
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,568
This is gonna knock
your socks off.
165
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,881
You never know who you're gonna run
into, what they're gonna be doing.
166
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,445
You love the bridge, right?
Yeah.
167
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,124
This is a lot like being under
the bridge, I would think.
168
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,645
It's way better than that.
Yeah?
169
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,290
Under the boardwalk
is a magical place, man.
170
00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,442
I have a special place in my heart
'cause I had my first kiss down here.
171
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,726
Mm-hmm.
Did you?
172
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,446
Dude, all kinds of romantic
shit happens- [ Gasps ]
173
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,682
[ Charlie ]
Oh, God! Oh, God!
174
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,643
[All Yelling]
175
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,410
Oh, no! No! No!
176
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,170
No!
No! What was that?
177
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,806
Two homeless guys banging each other.
I saw.
178
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,087
But why? That's not magical.
That's not romantic.
179
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:38,764
That's your idea
of romantic? No!
180
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,241
There are other kinds of
romances that happen under here.
181
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,243
I don't wanna see
anything else like that.
182
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:45,926
You know what? I'm out of here.
'Cause you guys are perverted.
183
00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,168
You get out of here.
You get out of here, Charlie.
184
00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,401
Son of a bitch.
Aw!
185
00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,770
[Groans]
186
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,129
Where's the beach?
Frank, wake up!
187
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,242
What? What's the matter?
Where's the beach?
188
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,082
Uh- Uh, I don't know.
189
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,162
We're in the middle
of the goddamn ocean!
190
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,722
Yes, we are.
[ Laughing ]
191
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,401
What are we gonna do? Well, we're
gonna conk out for a while...
192
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,603
and let the current
gently roll us back to shore.
193
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:28,048
Frank, the current is what brought
us out here in the first place.
194
00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:31,169
If anything, we should be paddling
against it to get back to the beach.
195
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,089
I'm gonna pretend
like I didn't hear that.
196
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:38,047
Frank- Frank, we are no longer in relaxing
mode. We are now in survival mode.
197
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,731
Will you stop being so dramatic?
198
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,771
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
199
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,968
Where's the rum ham?
200
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,003
Wha-
Where's the rum-
201
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,889
- Ah!
~ [Yelling]
202
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:52,166
Rum ham!
203
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,089
No, Frank. Stay in the boat.
Rum ham!
204
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,170
Frank, stay in the boat!
Oh, rum ham!
205
00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:02,371
I'm sorry, rum ham.
206
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,091
Oh, rum ham.
207
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,928
- Yeah, this is gonna be great, right?
- Of course it is.
208
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,527
Nothing like some good, innocent,
wholesome, above-the-boardwalk fun...
209
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,723
to, uh, get us back on track.
Yes.
210
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:21,486
Take a step back from the situation,
get a clearer perspective.
211
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:23,847
And then we'll plummet 2O stories and
the rush will propel us forward...
212
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,570
into an awesome evening.
Yeah.
213
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,007
And hopefully cleanse us of the horrifying
events that we've just witnessed.
214
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:31,721
These beads are really
digging into my back.
215
00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,171
[Groans]
Wind-
216
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,208
I don't know if we should
have come back here.
217
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,567
I think we made a mistake, because
we have so many memories-
218
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:39,887
Oh, no. ls my hair stuck?
219
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,729
Yeah.
It feels like it's- Yeah?
220
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:43,046
Oh, yeah.
Well, get it.
221
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:44,650
Get it out, because we're
about to drop. No.
222
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,006
Get it!
Stick your hand-
223
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,650
You think I'm gonna stick my
fingers into the machinery?
224
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,848
[ Shrieks ]
Hey! Hey, you down there!
225
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,407
Do not make it go, because my hair is
stuck, and something terrible will happen!
226
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,761
Oh, that's really in there.
Oh, you idiot, stop the ride!
227
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,080
Don't fall!
228
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,851
[Voice Slows Down ]
Don't make it fall!
229
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,924
[Yelling]
230
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,923
[Screaming ]
231
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,044
[ Screaming, Yelling ]
232
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,489
Ow!
233
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:19,886
Hey.
234
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,049
How you holding up, Sis? Uh,
not well, Dennis. Not well.
235
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,043
Do you have any idea
how horrifying it was...
236
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,849
to ride that back up
to get my hair?
237
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,968
Yeah, well, be thankful
you got it back.
238
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,964
I just wanna get my scalp sewn back on
and get the hell out of this miserable town.
239
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:34,811
I'm starting to wonder what the hell we ever
saw in this place, you know what I mean'?
240
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:38,248
I mean, look at this girl.
What's her story?
241
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:40,288
She's got a decent
bone structure.
242
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,004
She was probably very pretty
when she was young. Yeah.
243
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,926
Probably spent her summers here, lounging
on the beach and scooping ice cream.
244
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,607
But she didn't want her summers to end, so she
got herself a fake I.D. and a push-up bra...
245
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,768
and started hanging out
at the local bars. Right.
246
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,211
Developed
a nasty coke habit,
247
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,846
'cause she loved the way
it made her feel. Mm-hmm.
248
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,321
But then extreme highs
gave way to extreme lows...
249
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,164
and she fell
into a depression.
250
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,720
Had herself a kid. Thought it would
give her a sense of purpose.
251
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,889
And it did, for a while, till she
started using again. Mm-hmm.
252
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,769
And then Social Services
came knocking at the door,
253
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:09,763
and now the kid lives upstate
with his grandparents,
254
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,922
'cause she can't
take care of this kid.
255
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,129
And here she is festering away
in a one-bedroom apartment...
256
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:17,811
waiting for the H.I.V. to
turn into AIDS... Ooh!
257
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,450
And wondering
what the hell-
258
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:22,564
You know I can hear you, right?
Oh, sorry.
259
00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,603
We were just using you as
a metaphor though. Yeah.
260
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,284
We didn't mean
anything personal.
261
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,489
Don't sweat it.
You're not that far off.
262
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,085
Hey.
263
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,288
Hey:
264
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,283
- [ Dennis ] Jesus, are you seeing this?
- Mm-hmm.
265
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,647
God, even the doctors in
this town are drug dealers.
266
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,404
Oh, hey. What are you doing?
[Snarling ]
267
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,290
Who are you? Where did you come from?
Get out of here. Drop it.
268
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,249
No. Goddamn it!
Goddamn you!
269
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,446
[Whimpering]
270
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,329
I hate this town, Dennis!
I hate this town!
271
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,448
Cbkay, okay, all right. Well, calm down.
it's understandable.
272
00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,967
You are missing a piece
of your scalp. Yeah.
273
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,042
Sounds like you two
could use a break.
274
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,122
Wanna come party
with me and my friends?
275
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,447
Yeah. Yes.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
276
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:05,007
[ Panting ]
277
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,925
I'm so thirsty. Well, gargle
some more water, bitch.
278
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,242
I've been gargling.
Well, don't snap at me.
279
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,288
Well, quit acting so bossy.
280
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,011
Okay, you know what?
We can't fight, all right?
281
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,209
We're both very cranky. We haven't
eaten in a very long time.
282
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,520
I'm starving.
283
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,524
Okay, all right, look,
maybe I'll dive down there.
284
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,047
Hlspearatuna. I'll wrestle him
on board and we'll feast.
285
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,162
Boom. Let's eat.
All right.
286
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,402
Give me the knife.
287
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:33,325
I can't give you the knife.
What? Why not?
288
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:36,603
'Cause there may come a time
when difficult decisions must be made,
289
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,967
and I'd rather be
the one with the knife.
290
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,407
What difficult decisions?
What are you talking about?
291
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,324
You know, like things
you do to stay alive.
292
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,451
Are you talking about killing
and eating me, Frank?
293
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:53,082
All I'm saying is that when you go into
survival mode, it's every man for himself.
294
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,970
You seem like you're
in survival mode right now.
295
00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:00,170
Maybe I am.
Maybe I ain't, rum ham.
296
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,641
Did you just call me rum ham?
297
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,285
Frank- Frank,
we cannot be talking...
298
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,442
about killing and eating
each other already, okay?
299
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,325
Tell that to the rum ham. Stop
talking about the goddamn rum ham!
300
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,807
It should have been you!
No! Oh!
301
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,287
It should have been you!
Jesus! Oh, no!
302
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,282
[Air hissing]
Uh-oh.
303
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,044
You see
what you've done?
304
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,726
You've murdered us both,
you son of a bitch!
305
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,571
[Engine Whirring]
Oh, shit! What's that?
306
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,851
It's a boat!
it's a boat!
307
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,922
We're saved!
[ Laughing ]
308
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,729
Is that an Italian flag?
309
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,844
Oh, it's the guidos!
y,» [ Techno ]
310
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,610
Guidos!
Hey!
311
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,370
We're here!
Over here!
312
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,920
Oh!
Ah!
313
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,410
Oh!
314
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,568
Way!
Charlie?
315
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,323
Hey!
316
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,562
Oh, my God. What are
you doing down here?
317
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,564
Did you follow me all the way
to the Jersey Shore?
318
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,529
No. No, I swear.
319
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,841
I'm just down here with-
But that's cool.
320
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,922
Can you believe we're-
That's like destiny!
321
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,128
What-
What's in your hand?
322
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,885
Something stupid I found.
No big deal.
323
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,769
Can I see it?
324
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:10,801
Yeah.
325
00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:13,169
Wow.
326
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,447
That's really beautiful.
327
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,761
I'll tell you what. I mean-
328
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,526
I think that's a pretty rare one,
but you can keep it if you want.
329
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,284
Thanks, Charlie.
330
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,607
Sure.
[Laughs]
331
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:31,290
So, you gonna insult me and walk
away, or what's going on here?
332
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,887
No. I, um- I don't-
I don't know, you know.
333
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,964
I love the beach so much,
and it's so beautiful.
334
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,850
I could probably just
hang out here for a little while.
335
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,089
Cool.
336
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,329
Just don't go
under the boardwalk.
337
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,970
Okay.
338
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,407
Guys, this is Dennis and Dee. I told
them they could roll with us tonight.
339
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,721
[Dennis]
Yeah. Uh, hi.
340
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:02,805
We're looking forward to
partying with you all tonight.
341
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:06,203
Does Bobby know about this? Don't worry.
They're cool.
342
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,329
Yeah. So, uh, what are we
getting into tonight, you guys?
343
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:10,731
Yeah!
344
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,007
Just waiting for Bobby.
345
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,082
Then we're gonna hit
the liquor store.
346
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,367
All right, cool. Yeah, well, you
can't have a party without liquor.
347
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,284
That's right. So yeah. Let's
hit the liquor store.
348
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,771
[ Gasps ]
349
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,046
[ Chuckles ]
350
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,043
Who the hell
are these two?
351
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,691
Well, you're Bobby,
lguess.
352
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,081
Uh, we are just
new acquaintances...
353
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,447
of your friend Stephanie
over here.
354
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,726
Harmless people.
355
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,006
You guys cool?
356
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,481
Yeah. Well, I hate
to toot my own horn,
357
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,167
but I am pretty cool, Bobby.
[ Laughing ]
358
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,083
Hit that.
Yeah.
359
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,842
And I can tell by the way you're staring at
me that you're wondering if I'm cool too.
360
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,161
I'm just gonna go ahead and nip
that in the bud right now, so-
361
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,651
Ooh.
362
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,924
Ooh.
Oh, shit.
363
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,081
[ Coughs 1
364
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,282
That does not taste like weed.
it burns a lot.
365
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,566
It's angel dust.
366
00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,971
Angel-
367
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,690
Dust.
368
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,171
Embrace the night.
369
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:07,006
J)!' [ '8OS Pop]
370
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,490
What's over there?
371
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,291
[ Woman]
J' Can't seem to get my mind off of you J'
372
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:14,850
[Laughing]
373
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,649
J' Back here at home there's nothin' to do ,/~
374
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,246
[All ]
Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!
375
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,800
Are you guys ready to get it?
Let's get some beer!
376
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,287
[ Bobby ] Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go! No!
377
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:25,441
Yeah!
378
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,965
,r I wish I 'd stayed J'
379
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,811
Wha- Wha- What's happening?
What's happening?
380
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,805
Y That you won't be in J'
381
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,770
y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
382
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,764
y Vacation
Had to get away J'
383
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,525
y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'
384
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,489
Hi.
[Laughs]
385
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,485
[ Gunshots ]
386
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:48,721
Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
387
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,325
[All Yelling]
388
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,449
[ Bobby ] Drive! Drive now!
You, drive!
389
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:57,286
Drive! Drive! Drive!
390
00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:00,762
[ Whistling, Cheering ]
391
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,410
Thanks, man. Thanks, bro.
392
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,363
[ Muffled Screaming ] Hurry up.
Hurry up!
393
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:09,771
Hurry UP!
394
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,728
- Oh, my God!
- Stop crying!
395
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,882
Pick him up!
Pick him up!
396
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,849
Go get him!
397
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,890
Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
398
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,645
y Vacation
Had to get away J'
399
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:26,801
Rum ham!
400
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,121
Y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'
401
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,043
y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
402
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,531
y Vacation
Had to get away J'
403
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,127
Dig! Come on! Dig!
Dig! Hurry up!
404
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,931
Dig! Shut up! Shut up and dig!
Come on!
405
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:47,211
Y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
406
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:48,566
[ Man ]
Shoot 'em!
407
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,290
Y Vacation
Had to get away J'
408
00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,523
y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J'
409
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,847
y Vacation
All I ever wanted J'
410
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,843
[ Fireworks Exploding ]
411
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,570
Y Vacation
Had to get away J'
412
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,565
y Vacation
Meant to be spent alone J')
413
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,841
[Groans]
414
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,649
Oh, my God! Charlie!
415
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,927
Hey. What a night.
[ Chuckles ]
416
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,490
What the-
417
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,562
Did you rape me last night?
418
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,324
What? No.
419
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,568
Gross. No!
Then-
420
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,884
Okay, why am I waking up next
to you on a deserted beach?
421
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:34,611
'Cause we fell asleep here last night.
What's going on with you?
422
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,125
Oh, my God.
423
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:39,602
I was- I was on ecstasy
last night, Charlie.
424
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,722
You have to tell me
everything that happened.
425
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,201
Oh!
426
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,248
Boy, you're really off
the wagon, huh?
427
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:48,488
Drinking, drugs-
Oh, my God.
428
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,005
Well, it was a cool night.
429
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,686
We laughed.
We collected sea specimens.
430
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,730
We drank some ocean. You got a
little sick from drinking the ocean.
431
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,969
I loved it though. That sounds
really weird and gross.
432
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,610
Oh, really?
433
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,047
Well, I suppose now you think
this is weird and gross.
434
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,561
Oh, my God, Charlie!
Come on!
435
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,483
What?
436
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,608
Hang on a second.
Where you going?
437
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,966
Uh, let's see.
438
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,486
Last night I lived out
one of my actual nightmares.
439
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,040
So I'm gonna go
and take a shower.
440
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,327
Well, hang on-
hang on a second.
441
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,323
I suppose you
want this back.
442
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:21,845
What is that?
443
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,400
That's a jewel you gave me.
You said you wanted me to have it.
444
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:27,450
Charlie, that's a piece
of a broken glass bottle.
445
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,484
All right. Well, maybe I'll see you
Friday or something.
446
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,040
No!
447
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,205
Okay.
448
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:36,967
Hmm.
449
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,327
I guess that's just summer love.
450
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,124
Crazy.
451
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,847
Bro, our night was way more amazing.
And it actually happened.
452
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,968
What do you mean, it actually happened?
Why do you keep saying that?
453
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,043
No! You don't think I spent
the night with the waitress?
454
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,849
Then where'd I get this, dude?
Where'd I get that?
455
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,931
I assume you got it out of the trash, or
dug it out of a storm drain somewhere.
456
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,288
- I don't believe you're not-
- [ Mac] Here they come.
457
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,885
Okay. All right.
458
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,923
Everyone, get in the car! [
Dee ] Let's go. Let's go.
459
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:04,530
Let's go!
Get in the car!
460
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,722
Guys, you will not believe
the night we had.
461
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,326
I don't care.
There is no meaning to life anymore.
462
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,687
It takes a classy man to admit when
he was wrong. And I was wrong.
463
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,768
I love the Jersey Shore.
[ Dee ] Oh, you love it?
464
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,208
Oh, you love it so much here? Get in
the goddamn oar, you fat, fat ass!
465
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,369
- Fat, fat ass!
- We hung out with these Jersey dudes.
466
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,051
They're the shits.
Aw, man, they talk awesome.
467
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,089
I don't know why these guys
get such a bad rap. Yeah.
468
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,202
- They're pretty cool.
- Let me tell you something, Mac.
469
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,727
There are far worse people at the Jersey
Shore than the cast of the Jersey Shore.
470
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,327
It's a horrible town. it's a horrible
town filled with horrible people.
471
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,609
I don't know about that.
I think it's a magical town.
472
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:39,330
Hell, yeah.
473
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:41,850
Beautiful, magical town.
474
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,490
JJ' [ '60s Soul]
475
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,562
[ Man ]
J' Oh, when the sun beats down J'
476
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:49,287
,1' And burns the tar up on the roof J'
477
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,722
y And your shoes get so hot;
478
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,886
,1' You wish your tired feet were fireproof J'
479
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:03,090
y Under the boardwalk J'
480
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:08,121
,r Down by the sea, yeah ,1'
481
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,602
,1' On a blanket with my baby;
482
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,728
J' Is where I 'II be ,1'
483
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,121
y; [ Male Backup Singers Vocal/Zing ]
484
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,725
,r Under the boardwalk J;
485
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,764
[ Voices Speaking Backwards]
486
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,681
English - US - PSDH
38717
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