All language subtitles for 7x01 - Franks Pretty Woman

[ Phone Ringing]

[ Woman] Good morning. South
Philadelphia Animal Shelter.

Yes, hello. I would like to
apply for an adoption, please.

Uh, what are you guys
talking about?

[ Sighs ] We're adopting
a dog-fighting pit bull.

We're gonna keep it
in the bar, all right?

Well, why wasn't I consulted
about this?

Because last time we tried
to get a junkyard dog,

we wound up
getting a junkyard cat,

and that's exactly where
you're gonna go with it.

Yeah, because I don't want some
goddamn snarling hellhound...

running around
inside of our bar.

- Are you crazy? - Look, we're going
to rehabilitate the dog, okay?

We don't want it
to attack other dogs.

Now we would like for it
to attack people.

[ Charlie ]
If it attacks a person, great.

And, if the dog- or when
the dog- bites a customer,

that person then can go home and have
a great story for their friends.

It's a win-win
for everybody.

You can be, “Dude, I got bit
by a pit bull at a bar.”

Awesome. And if you're an intruder,
you should get bit by a pit bull.

- I don't understand.
- See, the biggest-

Uh, how long do you think this
process usually ta- [ L ine Clicks ]

it's just a dial tone now. She just
hung up on me, for some reason.

Come here. Come here.
[ Laughing ]

Gimme that. Gimme that. Gimme that.
[ Growls ]

[ Kissing, Slurping]

Wait for me
in the back-back.

Okay, babe.

Hey, who's that?

It's my new girlfriend-
Roxy.

Mmm. Now that woman
seems like a prostitute.

That's because she is.

You're dating a prostitute?

Not for long.

I'm gonna make
that whore my wife.

[ Frank, Roxy Moaning Loudly]

[ Frank]
Oh, yeah!

What the hell?
Oh, no.

Are they-
Oh, no.

[ ROXY 1
Yeah!

You did not' just do that.
Oh, ho, ho.

[ Laughing ] That-That
broad is a live wire.

[ Roxy Laughs ] [ Frank] Whoo!

I'm goin' outside, 'c:ause
this place is a sh/'Iho/e.

What are you cocks
lookin' at?

Frank,

that woman is unspeakably crass.

You're gonna marry that,
Frank?

She's been my number-one
girl for a long while now,

but she's still
plowing other dudes.

In fact, Tiger Woods
has been calling her lately.

No,no,no. I%ey,buHshH.
That can't be the truth.

There is no way that Tiger Woods
is interested in that woman.

Look, can't you find someone who
loves you for who you are'?

That woman's only in it
for the money.

Mm-mmm.
Let me stop you real quick.

Someone love Frank
for who he is?

Come on. No. He's got a
ton of good qualities.

No, not really.
Yes, he does.

I mean, like what? The other day, we
were hanging out under the bridge.

We found a box of denim,
and I'm, like,

“You know, these look like
good jeans in here.”

And he's, like, “You want to
split it with me, 50-50?”

- That's a nice thing to do.
- I wanted you to have half of that denim.

He shared half the jeans.

Charlie. Charlie.

Stop wearing clothes you find
washing up under bridges.

Oh, they're boiled. Yeah,
we boil all our denim.

- Oh, good. Well, they're
boiled, so- - [ Mac] Hey.

Hey, you know, there is some
dirty crack whore in the alley,

blowing the busboy from the
restaurant down the street.

This is exactly why
we need that dog.

Let's get that dog.

Mac, you look bad.
Really, really bad.

- What?
- Yeah, is that your shirt or my shirt?

That's, like, way too small for you.
You look fat as shit.

Okay, I'm getting very concerned with
the integrity of our organization here.

Mac, you have gained,
I mean, 50 pounds of fat.

Mass.
Of fat.

- Muscle.
- Let's be clear. Fat.

It's fat. Frank, you are talking
about marrying hookers.

This is ridiculous.
What's going on with our group?

We're becoming the Gross Crew.
The Gross Crew?

The Gross Crew,
and I don't like that.

[ Dee ] I don't want that. If we're
gonna have this woman hanging around,

then we gotta clean her up
or something.

I tell you what. What if we took A
Pretty Woman and threw it Roxy's way.

A Pretty Woman?
Uh-huh.

That was a bullshit movie.
People don't change like that.

[ Muffled ] People change, Frank.
Look at me.

I went from a tiny twink to the
muscle-bound freak you see before you.

You're not helping my argument.
And if you're gonna chime in,

please don't do it
with a mouthful of burrito.

- This is a chimichanga.
- You are becoming a chimichanga!

[ Frank]
All right, all of you,

I'm gonna give you all 24 hours
to do whatever you have to do,

but tomorrow night I am
proposing to that dirty whore.

[Slurping]

This is gonna be a little
bit harder than we thought.

This woman is a real piece of shit.
Uh-huh.

[ Groans ]
Where's Frank?

Don't worry
about Frank, Roxy.

We're here to help you
turn your life around.

See, a lot of times, the second
act of someone's life...

can be much better
than the first.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, we just want to make
some changes in your life, Roxy.

Perhaps get you some new clothes.
Uh-huh.

Uh, hopefully,
teach you some manners.

[Laughing]
Shut up, baby dick.

All right.
Well, I'm out of here.

No,no,no,no,no,no.
Don't go. Don't go.

We haven't even started yet.
Come on. Frank was right.

This woman cannot change.
People don't just change.

People change. She can change.
I'm gonna change.

What? You're gonna change? What
the hell are you talking about?

I'm gearing up to get into
my second act, you know?

That's very exciting for me, and I'd like
to help Roxy do the same thing, that's all.

No. No, no, Dee- Aw, really?
What?

Me? No, you're already
in your second act.

Yeah. We're all in our second acts.
Don't you see that?

And I, for one- I don't
want things to change.

I want them to stay the way they were,
because my first act was awesome.

See, your first act
was shit,

and that's why you're so desperate
for things to be different.

But they rarely ever do
get different.

If anything, God, they get worse.
I mean, look at Mac.

I got salsa on my shirt.
He got salsa on his shirt.

Okay. Here's how things need
to go from here on out.

You gotta deal with this woman,
because I can't handle it. All right?

She made things personal,
and I won't stand for that.

Somebody needs to take care of
Mac, and that's gonna be me,

because his fatness is starting
to affect our entire crew.

Mm-hmm. So I'm gonna
take him with me,

because the man is carrying around
trash bags filled with Mexican foods.

[ Sizzling ]
What's that smell?

Crack.
[ Lighter Clicks ]

That is crack rock. She's
smoking crack. Mm-hmm.

[ Dee ] Oh, she's smoking crack. [
Dennis ] Okay, she's smoking crack.

This is no longer a safe
environment for me.

Mac, let's go. Come on.
I gotta get out of here.

Whew.

I got a really good thing going with Roxy.
She's a sweet bitch.

Yeah, but she's mean. Dude, she's
definitely only into you for the money.

Well, so? Barbara was only
into me for the money.

Yeah, but you deserve better
than that, man.

Look, I'm already
on it, okay?

I signed you up on a dating Web site.
I got you a date, dude.

Yeah?
Check it out though.

I got a little twist
on this date.

This girl does think
she's meeting a millionaire.

Why'd you say that, Charlie?
That... defeats the purpose.

Well- [ Chuckles] I'm
gonna be the millionaire.

Oh. Explain.
All right, check it out.

You're gonna play
my limo driver, right?

You're just like a regular
working stiff to this girl.

She doesn't think
you're a millionaire. Okay?

Then we're out on the date
and I'm, like,

“Oh, I don't feel very well.
I gotta go home.

But let's
not waste this date.

Why d0n't you finish the
date with my limo driver?”

You know what I mean?
Smart, Charlie.

She's not gonna be able to
resist an opportunity like that.

A night with a limo driver?
This is a good idea.

Right?
I wanna give it a whirl.

All right, man.
All right, Charlie.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, here. I
think these are done.

That first one's done?
Yeah, this batch is done.

Just get 'em out. Get 'em out.
VVhoo,baby!

[ Hisses ] Whoa! I burned
myself on a rivet.

Yeah.

Mac, these blood tests
are gonna show you...

the damage that you've
been doing to your body,

and my hope is that it
will incentivize you...

to finally lose some of this
disgusting weight you've put on.

This is ridiculous, dude, okay?

We're getting older.
We're not gonna look 2O forever.

No, I am gonna
look 20 forever, Mac,

because the older I get,
the more vigilant I become.

All right, I don't eat lunch
anymore, for instance.

Yeah, and on odd days,
I don't eat breakfast.

That sounds miserable.
No,dude, it's not miserable.

Yeah, it is a little bit
miserable, but it has to be, man.

No pain, no gain. I am
also constantly in motion.

Like, right now, dude, I am doing leg lifts
that are imperceptible to the human eye.

I call 'em hummingbirds.

And although I seem relaxed, I'm
actually incredibly tense at all times.

[ Sighs ] Dude, we've
been through this, okay?

I'm cultivating mass.
Stop staying that.

You are not cultivating mass,
and if you are,

stop cultivating
and start harvesting.

Bro, check this out.
Try to move me.

I'm not gonna try-
Try and move me, bro.

[Grunting]

Take a running start.
Take a running start.

[ Grunting ] [ Man ] Excuse me.

Did you want me to read
these test results or not?

Yeah. I was just trying
to- trying to move him.

[Chuckling ] He's like a brick wall.
You try to move me, Doc.

No, no, no, you're-
Read the results, Doc.

Well, I see, uh,
severe dehydration here,

multiple vitamin deficiencies,
anemia, low blood pressure.

Ooh. Mac, look, I don't
want you to fret.

I'm gonna get you
on my exercise program.

I'm gonna get you
fit as a fiddle.

These are your results,
Mr. Reynolds.

What? No, those can't
be my results.

I'm healthy as shit.

Well, uh,
not according to your tests.

[Laughs]
I'm healthier than you, bro.

Well, I wouldn't
exactly say you're healthy.

You have type 2
adult-onset diabetes.

[Laughs] Type 2 adult-onset diabetes?
What does that mean for me?

Well, that means you're going
to have to inject yourself...

several times a day
with insulin,

or else you probably need to think
about losing a little weight.

- Whoa. But I'm healthy besides
the diabetes? - Um, no.

But I'm more healthier than he is, I think
is the point that you're trying to make.

Even with the diabetes. Stop saying
“diabetes.” You sound like an ass-

[ Ragged Breathing ]

You okay, dude?

I'm fine. I've just, uh,

been doing a lot of hummingbirds today.
I'm good.

Have you eaten anything today?
No.

Let's get out of here, bro. I'm
going to get you something to eat.

I'm gonna lift you up.
[Grunting]

Lift me up!
What the hell?

I'm not as strong
as I thought, Dennis.

Okay, I've hurt my back.

Oh! [ Laughing ] I'm shit-faced.

Yeah, well, you downed that bottle
of schnapps like it was a soda pop.

Roxy, I'm trying to give you a second chance
here, but you're making it very difficult.

Hey, this jacket is awesome!

Ooh, and it's tighter
than dick skin, man.

Can you watch your language,
please, Roxy?

We are in a classy place with classy
clothes for classy people, okay?

Don't talk about dick skin.

Hi. Can I help you
with something?

No, thank you. We're just
trying some stuff on.

Um, o-okay.

Well, you are aware
that jacket is $500?

Are you implying we can't afford that?
Can you?

That's none of your business.
Urn, it's exactly my business.

Uh-
Excuse me.

Screw your dick-skin jacket,
man.

Oh, no, no, no! No, no! Roxy. Roxy.
Oh, God, don't do that.

How do you like me now, gay boy?
Okay, d0n't call him gay,

'cause it'd be one thing if he
wasn't, but he clearly is, so-

- ls there a problem?
- Yeah, there's a problem, man.

I'm trying to buy this coat, and
this asshole here is giving me shit.

You are aware of the price?

Well, yeah.
'Cause I have money.

Oh, Shit!

Jerry, can I speak with you in
my office, please? [ Gasps ]

You have got
to be kidding me.

Ooh, boom! Face, Jerry! Face.
Take a hike.

Sorry about the gay stuff.
That did cross a line.

Jerry, please? My office.

ROXy!

Holy shit!
That was amazing.

You humiliated that salesman, and then
you had the capital to back it up.

I love you, Roxy.

Ooh, I gotta meet a client.
No, no, no, Roxy.

You don't have to do that anymore.
You know what?

We should go find Frank, 'c:ause
he's got a surprise for you.

No, it's Tiger Woods.

It's Tiger Woods?

Yeah.

Okay, th-this whole thing
is blowing my mind.

Your life is way more glamorous
than what I was picturing.

Yeah, yeah.

Now, help me dig these
crack rocks out of my ass.

That's what I was picturing. That's
more like what I was picturing.

- Charlie, I feel like a sack of
shit in this thing. - You look good.

I feel like I'm a four-year-old
going to my sistefs wedding.

You're the limo driver.
You got to look the part, bud.

You don't look
like a millionaire.

I am a casual millionaire from Texas.
You look like a farmer.

Frank, I got the whole thing worked out.
Now listen to me.

We go out on the date.
I come down with a slight cough.

Okay?
I ask to be taken home.

You take over. You charm the
hell out of her. I'm so nervous.

You know how long it's been
since I've been with a non-pro?

Will you relax?

Oh. Hello.

[ Whistles ] Tarnation!
[Laughing]

[Southern Accent]
You look as pretty as a peach.

[ Laughing ]
Yes, you do.

Hoss Bonaventure, C.E.O.

Uh, this here is my
limo driver, Frank. Hi.

Now he's the finest driver
in all the land,

so you gonna get on
just fine with him.

Uh, hand down.
Only say hello once.

[Laughs]
He's nervous.

All right, well, let's-let's-
Let's do this thing.

Get your stuff
and giddy on up.

Calm down. You're gonna be good.
♪♪ [ Steel Guitar]

[Man]
♪ 8a y h

So, uh, how did you
make your fortune?

Hmm? Oh, uh-

Well, uh, a-hustlin'
and a-wrestlin'.

Uh, you know,
this and that.

Uh, made a decent penny
in boiled denims...

and,uh,
the bridge business mostly.

Uh, oh, Frank up there, though,
now, that man is rich in spirit.

He's rich in “caricature.”

Uh, and that's a true fortune, if
you're asking me, to have that.

So you build bridges?
Um, uh- [Coughs]

I'm kind of into bridges myself.
Yeah.

I found a whole case of eggs
under a bridge last week.

Perfect condition.

None of them missing.
None of them cracked.

I mean,
who in their right mind...

throws away a perfectly good
case of eggs, this day and age?

It's a sick world,
don't you think?

Ah, he's good with the
conversation and- [ Coughs ]

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I believe I'm coming down
with a bit of something here.

[ Coughs ] I got bit by a
crab under that same bridge.

Oh, did you?
Yeah.

You ever been bit
by a crab, hon?

Can we maybe
put this divider up?

Well, no. We don't want to exclude a
great man like Frank from the conver-

[Screaming ]
0h, my God!

Call 911.
No, it's okay.

I have a touch
of consumption.

He's all right.
Why don't we drop him off?

You and I will
go to dinner, okay?

[Screaming ]

Oh! I think I've been
poisoned by my constituents.

Oh, my God!

Can I offer you a nice egg
in this trying time?

Yeah, he's got an egg.
You might-

[ Frank] Here. I'll pull over, okay?
[ Screaming Continues ]

You- You two can go to dinner together.
[ Shouting ]

Help me, somebody!
Please, help me!

Aw, shit, Charlie.

What the hell
went on back there?

Uh, I swallowed, like, a
million blood “capsulates”...

'cause I was gonna cough, like, you know,
a handful of blood to make it real.

And now I'm thinking, like, you're not
supposed to eat them or something,

'cause they're
making me really sick.

- [Coughs]
- Aw, Charlie, you blew it.

You're the one talking
about eggs and crabs and shit.

I love eggs, Charlie.
I like eggs.

And I love crabs.
I like crabs.

And I love boiling denim
and banging whores.

I love boiling-
Well.

And I don't care if anybody
doesn't like that about me.

They don't have to stick around.

You're right. What's wrong
with that chick? Screw 'em.

I miss Roxy.
Yeah.

Roxy and I are made for each other.
Yeah.

Tell you what,
if it's Roxy you want-

[ Cough'
[Groans] mg]

God.

That's the last of it,
I think.

[ Dee ] Tiger Woods? I cannot believe
you invited him over here, Roxy.

My place is a mess.

[ Knocking ]
Oh, he's here.

Are you ready? I'm ready.
I'm very excited.

Hello.
Who are you?

Tiger Woods.

Hey, Tiger.
Hey, girl.

[Laughs]

You brought a friend?
Yeah.

Good. I like that.
Mm-hmm.

So, you ready to do this?
I know who you are.

Of course you do, honey.
I'm very famous.

No,no,no,n0,no.
Hold on a second.

Roxy, this is not Tiger Woods.

What are you talking about? I
think this guy's an actor.

He definitely pretended to be Donovan McNabb
one time when I tried out for the Eagles.

[ Chuckling ]
Donovan McNabb? Eagles?

I d0n't know what she's talking about.
I play golf.

Okay, Roxy, see, this is exactly why
you gotta stop doing this shit.

And, sir, seriously?

Okay, all right.
All right, I'm sorry.

You got me, all right?
I'm busted.

I am an actor.
My name is Don Cheadle.

No, you're not Don- What are you doing?
What's going on'?

I don't care who he is if he pays
me 500 bucks to rub my feet.

Did you say 500 bucks?
Mm-hmm.

To rub your feet?
Mm-hmm.

You don't have sex with him?
Mm-mm-mmm.

I'm into foot shit.

Interesting.

What shoe size are you,
by the way?

Hey! Your feet
are bizarrely huge.

Man will go crazy
for that.

I don't care for how you describe
them, but what are we talking here'?

What kind of money are we talking?
I don't know.

Maybe we could pop those boots
off and kick it around a bit.

Well, it never hurts
to talk, does it?

[Laughs]
Justdoit

That's- He's cute.

[Dennis] Oh, God. [ Mac]
Chimichanga, chimichanga-

chimichanga, chimichanga,
chimichanga. Mac-

Chimichangas are delicious.
I told you, dude.

So good. Oh!
I told you.

Why would you not want to eat one
of these every day of your life'?

[Laughing] Oh, my God. I
mean, they're delicious.

They're full of carbs, which is great
for a pump, and they're cheap as shit.

Hence the garbage bags
filled with them.

Exactly. No restrictions.
No restrictions.

No restrictions. Oh, I love this
no-restrictions thing, man.

In that vein, I want you to take
a look at that chimichanga.

I want you to say to yourself,
“Chimichanga, you are delicious,

but what do I really want?”
Do I really want?

What do you want more than
anything else in the entire world?

What do I want more than anything
else in this entire world?

Yes.

Crack.

Oh.
[ Chuckles ]

I thought
you were gonna say pizza or-

Yeah. No, no, no.
buffalo wings or something.

You want crack?
Yeah, crack cocaine.

Now, I've never had crack. Dude,
you are going to love it.

I am?
It's so good.

Let's do it.
Let's do it.

No restrictions, baby.
No restrictions.

Aw, man, this is gonna be awesome, dude.
[ Cell Phone Rings ]

Do you want some insulin?
Oh, shit.

Yo.

Uh-huh.

You did what now?

Oh, she is?
[Laughs]

I don't get it,
but I don't need to.

Okay, we'll see you there.
Okay, bye.

Um, dude, so apparently,

Charlie just puked blood all
over some lady in a limousine,

and Dee is sucking off
Don Cheadle or something.

And Frank wants to go ahead and get
married to Roxy as soon as possible.

So we gotta fire down there. Dude,
we can get crack from Roxy.

Let's get crack from Roxy.
[ Laughing ]

Okay, perfect. Now do you
want some of this insulin?

No, I just want crack.
Okay, we'll get down there.

And on the way, let's fire down
to John Wanamaker's...

and get ourselves a couple
of Tommy Bahama shirts.

Are you familiar?

Yeah. See what you mean about
these shirts, bro. Yeah.

You'll grow into yours, buddy. Yeah.
Comfy as shit. They hide your fatness.

They're ugly as all hell,
but I have a feeling...

I'm gonna like 'em a lot more
when I'm high as shit on crack.

What's up, ass-dicks?

“Ass-dicks”? Is that how
you're gonna talk from now on?

I'm not taking no shit no
more, so get used to it.

Also, I'm gonna become
a foot girl.

All right, gross.
Whatever.

Frank, you ready?
Oh, yeah.

I'm ready. Roxy, Frank would
like to say a few words.

Everybody.
Gather round.

- Roxy.
- Frank.

You are good shit,

and I want to make this legit.

I'm still gonna pay you,

but I want you to stop
banging other guys.

What do you say?
Want to be my wife or what?

Holy shit.

O-Oh, my God.
O-Oh, my-

Uh. Ooh.

[Dennis] Vvhoops. (3hfisU

No, it's okay. She does
this from time to time.

She's had an
excessive amount to drink.

[ Dennis ] Okay. Well, Roxy, get up.
Come on. [ Claps Hands]

R
Roxy! oxy'

Come on, Roxy.
Big day for Frank here.

We don't have a ton of time, Rox.
Get up!

The bitch is dead.

How could she be dead?

I'm telling you,
her heart popped.

She was smoking crack in the car the
whole way here and also all day long.

- She got no pulse.
- Oh, my God.

Holy shit.
Call 911.

[DennE{] Call an ambulance.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No,no,no. No,no,no.
Whoa, whoa. What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Uh, we gotta
think this through, okay?

Dead hooker in my apartment?

That doesn't look good for me.
I'm covered in blood.

I mean, it's not good to have
a dead hooker, right?

It would mess up our
second acts a little bit.

I'll tell you guys something, I smoked a
little crack in the car on the way over.

Oh, you bitch.
Oh, does she still have any?

[ Dee ] Yeah, yeah. We
can't leave her here.

No,no,no.
We can't leave her here.

Um-
Um-

Let's-Let's, uh-
Oh, God.

Okay, well, I mean,

I don't want to sound insensitive, but
we could just put her out in the hall.

We call in an anonymous tip.

Someone finds her.
So we're still calling 911-

Someone finds her and throws her away.
just from a pay phone.

This seems like the best thing to
do, considering the circumstances.

- Frank, what do you think? - I think
Roxy would have wanted it that way.

He would know.
Well, there you go.

Frank would know.
I mean, that's it.

Can I say a few words?

Make it nice.
Let's make the whole thing nice.

Really? I just want to
get her out of here.

♪♪ [ C/ass/bal]
Oh, nice.

Roxy, God bless you.

You were a good whore.

You serviced me
like no other whore ever did.

Uh, not only my crank,
but my heart.

And... I'm gonna miss ya.

Amen.
♪♪ [ Radio Off]

So should we get the dead
whore out of the apartment?

Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.

♪♪ [ Rock Intro ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

[ Men ] ♪ Pretty women
walk/n ' do wn the street ♪

♪ Pretty woman,
the kind I like to meet;

♪ Pretty woman ♪

♪ I don't believe you
You're not the truth ♪

♪ No one could look
as good as you ♪

♪ Mercy)

♪ Pretty woman,
won't you pardon me?

♪ Pretty woman,
I couldn't help but see ♪

♪ Pretty woman ♪

♪ And you look lovely- ♪♪

[ Voices Speaking Backwards]

English - US - PSDH