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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:36,246 --> 00:00:41,775 His friends would say, stop whinin', they've had enough of that 2 00:00:41,852 --> 00:00:47,381 His friends would say, stop pinin', there's other girls to look at 3 00:00:47,457 --> 00:00:51,894 They've tried to set him up with Tiffany and Indigo 4 00:00:52,863 --> 00:00:57,664 But there's somethin' about Mary that they don't know 5 00:00:58,902 --> 00:01:00,802 Mary... 6 00:01:02,272 --> 00:01:05,400 There's just somethin' about Mary 7 00:01:09,947 --> 00:01:14,350 Well, his friends say, look, life's no fairy tale 8 00:01:15,452 --> 00:01:20,321 That he should have some fun, he's suffered long enough 9 00:01:20,924 --> 00:01:25,520 Well, they may know about domestic and imported ale 10 00:01:27,097 --> 00:01:30,430 But they don't know a thing about love 11 00:01:32,502 --> 00:01:38,134 Well, his friends would say he's dreamin' and livin' in the past 12 00:01:38,442 --> 00:01:44,074 But they've never fallen in love so his friends need not be asked 13 00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:50,386 His friends would say, be reasonable, his friends would say, let go 14 00:01:52,923 --> 00:01:59,351 But there's somethin' about Mary that they don't know 15 00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:01,187 Mary... 16 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:06,397 There's just somethin' about Mary 17 00:02:18,782 --> 00:02:22,718 When I was 16 years old, I fell in love. 18 00:02:24,321 --> 00:02:25,413 Hey, Renise. 19 00:02:26,923 --> 00:02:27,947 Hey. 20 00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:30,183 So, uh, what's up? 21 00:02:32,295 --> 00:02:33,319 Cool. 22 00:02:38,101 --> 00:02:41,264 So I was wondering... I don't know, 23 00:02:41,338 --> 00:02:44,273 if... if maybe you wanted to, and... or not. 24 00:02:44,341 --> 00:02:46,775 If you don't want to, you don't have to. 25 00:02:46,843 --> 00:02:49,107 I just wondered if maybe you were going to the prom, 26 00:02:49,179 --> 00:02:50,476 and... or, uh 27 00:02:50,547 --> 00:02:53,448 if you felt like that, maybe you'd want to go 28 00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:54,541 with me. 29 00:02:55,118 --> 00:02:56,346 Or, I mean, whatever. 30 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:58,183 Lf... if you didn't. 31 00:03:00,791 --> 00:03:03,191 Did you take that bio test? 'Cause that was like... 32 00:03:03,260 --> 00:03:06,093 Look, I heard this rumor that this guy I like was gonna ask me, 33 00:03:06,163 --> 00:03:08,791 so I'm gonna wait and see what happens there. 34 00:03:08,865 --> 00:03:12,266 That sounds great. Yeah. 35 00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:13,527 OK. 36 00:03:18,175 --> 00:03:20,939 So, is that like a yes or a no or... 37 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,939 I thought I made it perfectly clear. 38 00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:25,982 If everything else falls apart, 39 00:03:26,049 --> 00:03:27,141 maybe. 40 00:03:28,752 --> 00:03:31,016 I'm gonna hold you to that. 41 00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:37,851 Hey, guys. 42 00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,285 Hey, Mary! 43 00:03:42,232 --> 00:03:44,792 I wonder who she's going with. 44 00:03:48,672 --> 00:03:50,139 Her name was Mary. 45 00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:51,970 She moved to our little Rhode Island town 46 00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:55,273 from Minnesota two years earlier. 47 00:03:56,046 --> 00:03:57,070 What a fox! 48 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:02,308 I heard she's going with some guy named Woogie. 49 00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:03,877 Who? 50 00:04:04,221 --> 00:04:06,621 Big guy. Goes to Barrington High. 51 00:04:06,690 --> 00:04:09,488 Woogie from Bore-rington High? 52 00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:11,192 Sounds like a loser. 53 00:04:11,261 --> 00:04:15,595 Loser? Woogie's only like all-state football, 54 00:04:15,665 --> 00:04:18,327 and basketball, and fucking valedictorian. 55 00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:20,596 I heard he got a scholarship to Princeton, 56 00:04:20,670 --> 00:04:22,797 but he's going to Europe first to model. 57 00:04:22,873 --> 00:04:25,865 Yeah? I was thinking of doing that. 58 00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:27,801 Sorry. 59 00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,602 Have you... have you 60 00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,579 Have you seen my baseball? 61 00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:34,742 Uh, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it. 62 00:04:37,053 --> 00:04:39,351 Have you... have you seen my baseball? 63 00:04:39,422 --> 00:04:40,446 Sorry. 64 00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:44,816 Hey, check it out. 65 00:04:45,262 --> 00:04:46,991 Have you seen my baseball? 66 00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:49,031 Hey, buddy. Come here. 67 00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:52,130 I think I know where your ball is. 68 00:04:52,536 --> 00:04:55,699 - You've seen my baseball? - Yeah, yeah. I've seen it. 69 00:04:57,140 --> 00:04:59,665 You see that girl over there? 70 00:04:59,776 --> 00:05:00,868 That... that... 71 00:05:00,944 --> 00:05:03,913 She has it, except she doesn't call it a baseball. 72 00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:06,574 She's got another name for it. 73 00:05:09,886 --> 00:05:10,910 Nice muffs. 74 00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,755 Have you seen my... wiener? 75 00:05:15,258 --> 00:05:16,282 What? 76 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:19,487 Have you seen my wiener? 77 00:05:19,796 --> 00:05:22,264 What the... what the hell did you just say, buddy? 78 00:05:22,332 --> 00:05:23,390 Wiener? 79 00:05:23,466 --> 00:05:24,831 Hey, get your hand off my car! 80 00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,129 What the hell did you just say to me? 81 00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:27,261 My... my... 82 00:05:28,205 --> 00:05:29,137 Wiener. 83 00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:31,140 Fuckin' son of a bitch. I'm gonna fuckin' kick your ass! 84 00:05:33,076 --> 00:05:34,338 Get up, fat boy! Let's go! 85 00:05:34,411 --> 00:05:35,309 Take it easy. 86 00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:36,310 Keep your hands off. 87 00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,405 - Who the fuck are you? - The guy's not all there, all right? 88 00:05:39,482 --> 00:05:40,608 Fight! Fight! 89 00:05:40,684 --> 00:05:42,049 Get out of my face. 90 00:05:42,118 --> 00:05:43,449 You want the first punch? 91 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,544 Yeah! Fight! 92 00:05:44,621 --> 00:05:46,145 Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 93 00:05:46,223 --> 00:05:48,987 What's the matter with you? Stop it! 94 00:05:50,293 --> 00:05:51,317 You OK, Warren? 95 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,624 Mary, have you seen my baseball? 96 00:05:53,697 --> 00:05:55,062 No, I haven't seen your baseball. 97 00:05:55,131 --> 00:05:56,359 What are you doing leaving the yard? 98 00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,867 You know you're not supposed to leave by yourself. 99 00:05:58,935 --> 00:05:59,867 You know him? 100 00:05:59,936 --> 00:06:01,062 He's my brother. 101 00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:02,468 I'm her brother. 102 00:06:02,539 --> 00:06:03,563 Warren. 103 00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:05,338 I didn't realize, you know? 104 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,968 You ought to tell him to watch his mouth. 105 00:06:08,044 --> 00:06:09,102 Jerk. 106 00:06:10,513 --> 00:06:12,105 Are you OK? 107 00:06:12,182 --> 00:06:13,843 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 108 00:06:15,151 --> 00:06:16,175 You OK? 109 00:06:19,723 --> 00:06:20,951 Thanks, Ted. 110 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:24,255 I couldn't believe that she knew my name. 111 00:06:24,327 --> 00:06:27,262 Some of my best friends didn't know my name. 112 00:06:27,330 --> 00:06:28,695 I think Joe Montana 113 00:06:28,765 --> 00:06:31,859 is, like, the most underrated quarterback. 114 00:06:31,935 --> 00:06:34,335 I mean, he should have been a first-round draft pick. 115 00:06:34,404 --> 00:06:36,099 Look what he did at Notre Dame. 116 00:06:36,172 --> 00:06:37,935 It's so ridiculous. 117 00:06:38,008 --> 00:06:39,032 Exactly. 118 00:06:39,175 --> 00:06:42,542 I'm telling you, this year, it's the 49ers. 49ers. 119 00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:43,636 All the way. 120 00:06:45,949 --> 00:06:47,814 Piggyback ride! Piggyback! 121 00:06:47,884 --> 00:06:50,978 Warren, stop it. Leave Ted alone. 122 00:06:51,054 --> 00:06:52,351 No, that's OK. I'll do it. 123 00:06:52,422 --> 00:06:53,719 If you think he can hold me. 124 00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:54,757 Are you kidding? 125 00:06:54,824 --> 00:06:56,724 He's 230 pounds. He can hold you. 126 00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:57,725 You don't have to. 127 00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,352 It's OK. I got a little disc thing, 128 00:06:59,429 --> 00:07:00,418 but it's all right. 129 00:07:00,497 --> 00:07:02,294 All right, here we go! Giddyup, Warren! 130 00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:03,855 There we go! Whoo! 131 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,329 Fun, huh, Warren? 132 00:07:05,402 --> 00:07:07,927 He's a real Clydesdale, isn't he? 133 00:07:08,004 --> 00:07:10,404 Yeah, Warren, buckin' bronco. 134 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:11,371 My turn now. 135 00:07:11,441 --> 00:07:12,669 My turn. 136 00:07:13,009 --> 00:07:14,374 OK. Well, I don't... 137 00:07:14,444 --> 00:07:17,709 - Ow! - It's OK, Ted. You don't have to. 138 00:07:17,781 --> 00:07:18,645 Giddyup! 139 00:07:18,715 --> 00:07:20,876 That's fun. Whoo! 140 00:07:21,818 --> 00:07:23,979 That's fun, huh, Warren? 141 00:07:26,823 --> 00:07:27,847 Whoa! 142 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,622 That was fun. 143 00:07:35,532 --> 00:07:36,863 He's only 230, huh? 144 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:37,831 Yeah. 145 00:07:37,901 --> 00:07:41,359 - I'm in the yard now. I'll hide. - OK, go hide. 146 00:07:41,438 --> 00:07:43,406 He's got a lot of energy. 147 00:07:43,473 --> 00:07:47,273 Yeah. He's great. I have a lot of fun with him. 148 00:07:48,111 --> 00:07:49,635 Thanks for walking us back. 149 00:07:49,713 --> 00:07:50,680 Yeah, no problem. 150 00:07:50,747 --> 00:07:53,045 I'm, uh, I'm just gonna... 151 00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:55,781 So, are you... are you going to the prom? 152 00:07:55,852 --> 00:07:56,876 Huh? 153 00:07:57,087 --> 00:07:58,213 Uh, oh. Uh... 154 00:07:59,055 --> 00:08:00,886 I... I don't... I think proms are... 155 00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:02,390 'Cause I thought maybe we, um 156 00:08:02,459 --> 00:08:03,790 ...dumb. - We could go together. 157 00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:06,693 Oh, you're gonna go with, like, a bunch of people? 158 00:08:06,763 --> 00:08:09,197 You want, like, a designated driver? 159 00:08:09,265 --> 00:08:11,426 No, no. I mean, you and me. 160 00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:15,028 Like, we could go together. The two of us. 161 00:08:16,272 --> 00:08:18,570 - You... you and me? - Yeah. 162 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,707 Well, is that a yes or a no? 163 00:08:26,683 --> 00:08:29,811 - Sure. All right. - Good. 164 00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:30,910 Cool. 165 00:08:31,688 --> 00:08:33,679 I'm gonna take Warren back inside. 166 00:08:33,757 --> 00:08:36,089 I'll... I'll see you at school. 167 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:39,287 Cool. I'll catch you back at school. 168 00:08:39,596 --> 00:08:41,223 From that moment on, 169 00:08:41,297 --> 00:08:44,733 the guys at school looked at me in a whole new light. 170 00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:46,769 You're a fuckin' liar. 171 00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:48,798 Do you expect us to believe 172 00:08:48,872 --> 00:08:50,863 that you're going to the prom with Mary? 173 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:53,306 What's so crazy about that? 174 00:08:53,410 --> 00:08:57,039 Oh, yeah, dirt bud, and I'm going with Cyndi Lauper. 175 00:08:57,113 --> 00:08:58,603 What happened to Woogie? 176 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,842 She said she broke up with him, 177 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:02,680 that he was getting weird on her. 178 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:05,812 I got 20 bucks that says you're full of shit. 179 00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:06,947 Why not make it 100? 180 00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:07,955 Rock on. 181 00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:09,013 I'm in. 182 00:09:09,092 --> 00:09:10,116 Me, too. 183 00:09:32,215 --> 00:09:34,240 I've already paid him enough money already. 184 00:09:34,317 --> 00:09:37,775 I'm not paying until the job gets done. He can kiss my ass! 185 00:09:37,854 --> 00:09:39,583 What the hell do you want? 186 00:09:45,929 --> 00:09:49,387 I'm Ted Stroehmann. I'm here to take Mary to the prom. 187 00:09:49,466 --> 00:09:53,459 Prom? Mary went to the prom 20 minutes ago with Woogie. 188 00:09:53,536 --> 00:09:55,060 Woogie? 189 00:09:55,605 --> 00:09:56,401 Woogie! 190 00:09:56,473 --> 00:09:57,633 Oh. 191 00:09:58,541 --> 00:09:59,565 I see. 192 00:10:02,345 --> 00:10:04,540 Charlie, you are so mean! 193 00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:07,775 This is Mary's stepfather Charlie. I'm Sheila, her mother. 194 00:10:08,485 --> 00:10:10,919 Ted, don't pay any attention to anything he says. 195 00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:11,885 He's a laugh a minute. 196 00:10:11,955 --> 00:10:13,252 Very funny. 197 00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:16,420 Well, I'm just having a little fun with the guy. 198 00:10:16,493 --> 00:10:19,087 It's prom night. Woogie's got a sense of humor. 199 00:10:21,998 --> 00:10:23,590 Oh, hey. Hi, Warren. 200 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,896 Listen, once he gets into that MTV, 201 00:10:25,969 --> 00:10:28,233 he'll be there for quite a while. 202 00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:32,968 Oh, here she comes. Oh, honey, you look beautiful. 203 00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:41,072 Aw, shit, look at that. You better be careful, boy. 204 00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:59,165 Hi, Ted. 205 00:10:59,235 --> 00:11:00,532 Hi, Mary. 206 00:11:01,504 --> 00:11:03,768 You look really... pretty. 207 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,308 Thanks. I like your colors. 208 00:11:06,409 --> 00:11:09,606 Oh, thanks. The guy said it was tan and taupe. 209 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,615 Poor Ted, he's been getting it both barrels from the wisenheimer here. 210 00:11:13,683 --> 00:11:16,652 Dad, you haven't been bustin' Ted's chops, have ya? 211 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:19,119 I was just fucking with him. Right, Ted? 212 00:11:21,558 --> 00:11:23,753 Hey, Warren, did you say hi to Ted? 213 00:11:23,826 --> 00:11:25,521 About 10 times. 214 00:11:25,895 --> 00:11:26,361 OK. 215 00:11:27,130 --> 00:11:29,826 Hey, Warren. I think I found your baseball. 216 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,298 You've seen my baseball? 217 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,358 Well, if it's a big white one. 218 00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:37,363 With, uh 219 00:11:38,041 --> 00:11:39,838 little red stitching. 220 00:11:39,909 --> 00:11:40,841 Yup. It is. 221 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,969 Then I think I saw it, 222 00:11:43,046 --> 00:11:44,343 right behind your ear. 223 00:11:45,782 --> 00:11:48,580 Warren! Warren! Hold it, hold it! 224 00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:50,881 Get up, Warren! Hey, Warren! 225 00:11:50,954 --> 00:11:51,921 Warren! 226 00:11:51,988 --> 00:11:54,115 Be careful, Mary! Be careful! 227 00:11:54,190 --> 00:11:55,248 Get up, man! 228 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,688 Let go of him! Get down from there! 229 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,022 What are you doing? 230 00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,027 Ted! Ted! 231 00:12:00,096 --> 00:12:01,290 Warren, put him down! 232 00:12:01,364 --> 00:12:02,854 Whoa! Ohh! 233 00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:05,057 What the hell are you doing? 234 00:12:05,134 --> 00:12:06,328 Mary, Mary. 235 00:12:06,402 --> 00:12:07,994 This is my house here! 236 00:12:08,071 --> 00:12:09,231 Warren, are you OK, buddy? 237 00:12:09,305 --> 00:12:11,466 It's OK, Warren. It's OK. 238 00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:12,706 Here you go. 239 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:14,106 What the hell's the matter with you? 240 00:12:14,177 --> 00:12:16,668 I was just trying to give him the baseball. 241 00:12:16,746 --> 00:12:18,145 Baseball? What baseball? 242 00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:19,704 I had a baseball. 243 00:12:20,016 --> 00:12:21,108 What baseball? 244 00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:22,310 There was... it's right... 245 00:12:22,385 --> 00:12:24,046 There was a baseball here. 246 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,883 I swear, I brought him a baseball, 247 00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:28,287 and I was just trying to give him a present! 248 00:12:28,358 --> 00:12:30,053 Are you yelling at me in my own house? 249 00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:31,093 No. 250 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,754 Don't make me open a can of whup-ass on you. 251 00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:36,196 Ted, I should have told you. He has a thing about his ears. 252 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,594 You all right, Warren? 253 00:12:39,736 --> 00:12:41,567 Oh, honey, your strap's broken. 254 00:12:43,506 --> 00:12:44,768 You're right. 255 00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:47,173 Hey, Ted, I'm just gonna go upstairs real quick. 256 00:12:47,243 --> 00:12:49,643 I just need two minutes. I got to fix my dress. 257 00:12:49,712 --> 00:12:50,644 I'll help you, honey. 258 00:12:50,713 --> 00:12:51,805 Hey, I, uh... 259 00:12:52,615 --> 00:12:55,516 Can I use your bathroom? I'm sorry. I got to... 260 00:12:55,585 --> 00:12:57,780 - He broke the table. - You son of a bitch. 261 00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:59,685 I didn't do it. 262 00:12:59,756 --> 00:13:01,314 It's OK, Warren. It's OK. 263 00:13:01,391 --> 00:13:05,157 - I swear... - The bathroom is that way. 264 00:13:05,295 --> 00:13:08,822 Maybe I'll open up a can of whup-ass on him. 265 00:13:09,032 --> 00:13:11,000 Trying to do the kid a favor. 266 00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:46,963 He's looking at you! What is he... 267 00:13:47,036 --> 00:13:48,060 Oh, no. I... 268 00:13:49,405 --> 00:13:50,497 No, no, I was... 269 00:13:50,573 --> 00:13:52,507 Mom, wait! 270 00:13:52,809 --> 00:13:53,833 Shit! 271 00:14:06,456 --> 00:14:08,424 Ted, are you OK? 272 00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:11,587 Yeah, I'm fine! Everything's OK! 273 00:14:11,661 --> 00:14:13,219 OK, OK, just take your time. 274 00:14:13,296 --> 00:14:14,456 It's all right. 275 00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:17,727 He's been in there over a half an hour. 276 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,961 Charlie, I think he's masturbating. 277 00:14:20,036 --> 00:14:21,264 - Oh, come on! - Mom! 278 00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:22,269 Well... 279 00:14:22,338 --> 00:14:23,600 He's not masturbating. 280 00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:25,140 Well, he was watching you undress 281 00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:27,073 with a silly grin on his face. 282 00:14:27,143 --> 00:14:28,974 I was watching the birds! 283 00:14:29,045 --> 00:14:32,071 - Do something. - What do you want me to do? 284 00:14:32,148 --> 00:14:34,878 I think he needs some male help. 285 00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:38,679 - Oh, for crying out loud. - Dad, just give him a minute. 286 00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:41,451 OK, kid, listen, I'm coming in, OK? 287 00:14:41,524 --> 00:14:43,492 No, no. Don't... 288 00:14:44,127 --> 00:14:45,958 Exactly what the hell is the situation here? 289 00:14:46,028 --> 00:14:48,019 What did you do, shit yourself or something? 290 00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:49,462 Oh, I wish. I... 291 00:14:49,532 --> 00:14:51,500 I got it stuck. 292 00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:54,035 You got what stuck? 293 00:14:54,337 --> 00:14:55,634 Lt! 294 00:14:55,705 --> 00:14:56,831 Oh! Lt. Um... 295 00:14:58,541 --> 00:15:00,805 Um, uh, well, um... listen, uh 296 00:15:00,877 --> 00:15:02,777 It's not the end of the world. 297 00:15:02,845 --> 00:15:04,870 These kind of things happen. 298 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,245 Let's have a look at it. 299 00:15:09,852 --> 00:15:11,717 Oh, my God in heaven, save him! 300 00:15:11,788 --> 00:15:12,880 Shh! Shh! 301 00:15:13,156 --> 00:15:15,886 - Shush! Quiet! - Sh-Sheila! 302 00:15:15,958 --> 00:15:18,483 - No! - Sheila, uh, honey? 303 00:15:18,594 --> 00:15:19,788 Don't... 304 00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:21,920 Sheila, honey. 305 00:15:21,998 --> 00:15:24,398 Uh, you gotta come here. You gotta see this. 306 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,991 What is it? 307 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,493 Don't! Don't! 308 00:15:28,771 --> 00:15:30,898 Don't worry. She's a dental hygienist. 309 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,406 She'll know exactly what to do. 310 00:15:32,475 --> 00:15:34,875 - Hi, Ted. - Hi, Mrs Jensen. How are you? 311 00:15:35,211 --> 00:15:37,509 - You OK? - Yeah. 312 00:15:37,580 --> 00:15:38,911 Holy shit! 313 00:15:39,315 --> 00:15:41,613 Charlie, you could have warned me. 314 00:15:42,018 --> 00:15:43,076 OK, I, um... 315 00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:44,318 Mrs Jensen, I... 316 00:15:44,387 --> 00:15:45,354 Right, right. OK. 317 00:15:45,421 --> 00:15:46,854 I don't want her to hear, you know? 318 00:15:46,923 --> 00:15:48,891 OK. Um, let's just relax here, OK? 319 00:15:48,958 --> 00:15:50,186 Now, uh, uh... 320 00:15:50,927 --> 00:15:53,088 What exactly are we, uh 321 00:15:53,162 --> 00:15:54,720 looking at here, huh? 322 00:15:54,797 --> 00:15:56,287 What do you mean? Look at the... 323 00:15:56,365 --> 00:15:58,333 I mean, is it the, um... 324 00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:01,494 Or the... 325 00:16:02,438 --> 00:16:04,429 Is it the frank or the beans? 326 00:16:05,908 --> 00:16:07,375 Oh, I, uh, I... I don't know. 327 00:16:07,443 --> 00:16:09,570 It looks like... I think it's a little bit of both. 328 00:16:09,645 --> 00:16:11,943 Franks and beans! Franks and beans! 329 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,174 Shh! No! Shh, shh! 330 00:16:13,249 --> 00:16:15,240 Well, what's that bubble there? 331 00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:17,081 What do you think? It's a... 332 00:16:17,153 --> 00:16:19,986 Well, how the hell did you get the beans above the frank?! 333 00:16:20,056 --> 00:16:21,455 Shush, shush. 334 00:16:21,524 --> 00:16:24,721 I don't know. It wasn't like it was a well-thought-out plan. 335 00:16:24,794 --> 00:16:26,989 There really does seem to be an awful lot of skin 336 00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,094 coming through there, 337 00:16:28,164 --> 00:16:30,860 so I'm gonna find some Bactine, honey. 338 00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:33,333 Uh, no. You know what? I don't need any. Really. 339 00:16:33,402 --> 00:16:34,369 Hello there. 340 00:16:34,437 --> 00:16:35,870 Oh, Christ. 341 00:16:35,938 --> 00:16:37,906 What the hell's going on here? 342 00:16:37,974 --> 00:16:40,374 Neighbors said they heard a lady scream. 343 00:16:40,443 --> 00:16:42,911 Uh, well, you're looking at him. 344 00:16:42,979 --> 00:16:44,947 Uh, you gotta take a look at this. 345 00:16:45,014 --> 00:16:45,673 Would you just... 346 00:16:45,781 --> 00:16:46,805 Oh, Jesus! 347 00:16:47,483 --> 00:16:49,383 Ain't it a beaut? 348 00:16:49,452 --> 00:16:51,818 What the hell 349 00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:54,149 were you thinking? 350 00:16:54,490 --> 00:16:57,584 How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top? 351 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,690 Let's just say the kid's limber. 352 00:17:00,897 --> 00:17:01,955 Ow! Ow! 353 00:17:02,965 --> 00:17:03,932 Christ! 354 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:04,898 What the... 355 00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:05,991 God... 356 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,797 Somebody's gonna have to move that station wagon 357 00:17:07,870 --> 00:17:09,167 so I can get the truck in here. 358 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:11,103 Lenny, come here. 359 00:17:11,807 --> 00:17:13,035 Take a look 360 00:17:13,609 --> 00:17:16,100 at what this numb-nuts did. 361 00:17:16,212 --> 00:17:17,804 Holy shit! 362 00:17:21,384 --> 00:17:24,285 Mike, Eddie. Get down here quick. 363 00:17:24,420 --> 00:17:26,581 Bring everybody. Bring a camera. You won't believe this! 364 00:17:26,656 --> 00:17:28,590 We got a kid down here... what's your name? 365 00:17:29,025 --> 00:17:30,049 No, I... 366 00:17:30,459 --> 00:17:33,360 No, there's only one thing to do here. 367 00:17:33,429 --> 00:17:35,397 What? No. You know what? I got an idea. 368 00:17:35,464 --> 00:17:38,365 Look, look. I can just... We don't have to do anything 369 00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:40,868 'cause, look, I can just wear this over the front. 370 00:17:40,937 --> 00:17:42,666 Look, I can go to the prom. We'll deal with it later. 371 00:17:42,738 --> 00:17:43,432 Son, relax. 372 00:17:43,506 --> 00:17:46,475 You already laid the tracks. That's the hard part. 373 00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,066 Now we're just gonna back it up. 374 00:17:48,144 --> 00:17:50,203 Teddy, be brave. 375 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:53,646 It's just like pulling off a Band-Aid. 376 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:55,841 A one 377 00:17:55,918 --> 00:17:57,146 and a two 378 00:17:58,421 --> 00:18:00,082 and a... 379 00:18:00,156 --> 00:18:01,487 We got a bleeder! 380 00:18:01,557 --> 00:18:03,184 Keep pressure on it. Keep it on. 381 00:18:03,259 --> 00:18:05,727 Everybody get out of the way! 382 00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:08,658 Step clear, gentlemen, please. 383 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,860 He was masturbating! 384 00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,867 People, please move out of the way. 385 00:18:12,935 --> 00:18:14,402 Warren, come here. 386 00:18:14,470 --> 00:18:16,370 He was masturbating! 387 00:18:16,439 --> 00:18:17,872 Move out of the way. 388 00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:19,601 None of this ever happened to Woogie! 389 00:18:19,675 --> 00:18:20,699 Are you OK, Ted? 390 00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:23,236 Ted! 391 00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,545 He was masturbating! 392 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,073 Ted, are you all right? 393 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:30,083 Sure. 394 00:18:34,790 --> 00:18:35,882 OK. 395 00:18:36,092 --> 00:18:37,116 OK, Ted. 396 00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,757 OK, let's roll. 397 00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:52,998 So, anyway, uh 398 00:18:53,476 --> 00:18:55,910 school ended a couple days later, 399 00:18:55,978 --> 00:19:00,312 and her father got transferred to Florida in July. 400 00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:04,752 So I worked all summer to pay off those debts and 401 00:19:05,421 --> 00:19:08,618 well, I never saw Mary again. 402 00:19:08,691 --> 00:19:10,215 That was... what? 403 00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:13,554 13 years ago. 404 00:19:13,963 --> 00:19:16,227 That's very interesting. 405 00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:18,757 Anyway, 406 00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:21,027 I know it's not the type of thing you'd forget, 407 00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:23,071 but I guess I just... I kinda... 408 00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:25,699 I must have blocked it out of my head or something, 409 00:19:25,775 --> 00:19:28,505 'cause I was driving down the highway last week, 410 00:19:28,577 --> 00:19:32,138 and I started thinking about Mary, 411 00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:35,884 and all of a sudden it was like I couldn't breathe. 412 00:19:35,951 --> 00:19:37,384 I mean, I was... I was... 413 00:19:37,453 --> 00:19:39,546 I felt like I was gonna die. 414 00:19:39,622 --> 00:19:43,888 So I pulled off the road and I just sorta stopped in this 415 00:19:43,959 --> 00:19:46,325 I guess it was a rest area. 416 00:19:46,429 --> 00:19:48,920 I was just kind of shaking and... 417 00:19:49,999 --> 00:19:53,400 You know, rest areas are homosexual hangouts. 418 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,601 Highway rest areas. 419 00:19:58,007 --> 00:20:00,373 They're the bathhouses of the '90s 420 00:20:00,443 --> 00:20:03,173 for many, many, many gay men. 421 00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,751 So what... what are you... 422 00:20:11,987 --> 00:20:13,386 What are you saying? 423 00:20:15,458 --> 00:20:17,221 Oop. Time, she's up. 424 00:20:19,428 --> 00:20:22,625 We'll, uh, delve into that next week. 425 00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:26,159 Well, you know, you are a writer, 426 00:20:26,502 --> 00:20:28,868 and writers are artists. 427 00:20:29,004 --> 00:20:31,871 And most artists are a little foofy, you know. 428 00:20:31,974 --> 00:20:33,999 A little foofy. Thanks for the support. 429 00:20:34,076 --> 00:20:38,376 Hey, you guys, I thought you might like these with your beers. 430 00:20:38,447 --> 00:20:40,381 Yes, indeed. Ted, help yourself. 431 00:20:40,449 --> 00:20:42,314 I don't think I'll have one. 432 00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:43,544 - You don't want one? - No. 433 00:20:43,619 --> 00:20:45,746 You want something else? 434 00:20:45,821 --> 00:20:47,254 Come on. You want something to eat? 435 00:20:47,323 --> 00:20:48,950 Not hungry, thank you. 436 00:20:49,024 --> 00:20:50,389 You want a cookie, something like that? 437 00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:51,721 Honey, we got cookies? 438 00:20:51,794 --> 00:20:54,354 Uh, no, we don't, but I could bake some. 439 00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:55,829 No, no, no. Don't bake any. 440 00:20:55,898 --> 00:20:57,889 No, that's a good idea. Why don't you bake some? 441 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,365 Bake some tollhouses. 442 00:20:59,435 --> 00:21:00,834 Oh, great. Yeah, yeah. 443 00:21:00,903 --> 00:21:03,838 - Uh, chocolate chip or butterscotch? - Let's go with the chocolate chip. 444 00:21:03,906 --> 00:21:05,840 - OK. Good. - Really, you don't... 445 00:21:05,908 --> 00:21:07,375 No, it's fine. Don't worry. 446 00:21:07,443 --> 00:21:09,377 She loves this kind of thing. 447 00:21:09,445 --> 00:21:10,173 Really? 448 00:21:10,246 --> 00:21:11,873 See, that's great. 449 00:21:12,081 --> 00:21:14,049 That's what I want, 450 00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:16,282 a family, 451 00:21:16,452 --> 00:21:19,148 and somebody to, you know... 452 00:21:22,024 --> 00:21:25,221 It must be wonderful having all this, huh? 453 00:21:25,294 --> 00:21:27,922 Each day is better than the next. 454 00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,258 How about you? 455 00:21:30,533 --> 00:21:32,763 The big "L." Hmm? 456 00:21:33,369 --> 00:21:35,064 - Ever been? - What? 457 00:21:35,237 --> 00:21:36,829 In lurve. 458 00:21:36,906 --> 00:21:37,930 Well, 459 00:21:38,140 --> 00:21:39,164 once. 460 00:21:41,243 --> 00:21:42,175 Mary. 461 00:21:42,244 --> 00:21:45,111 Oh, God. Not Mary again. 462 00:21:45,181 --> 00:21:47,411 Look, I know it was brief, 463 00:21:47,483 --> 00:21:48,780 but it was 464 00:21:48,918 --> 00:21:51,216 it was definitely love, Dom. 465 00:21:51,287 --> 00:21:54,051 I mean, crushes don't last for 13 years, right? 466 00:21:54,123 --> 00:21:56,387 What ever happened to Mary? 467 00:21:56,458 --> 00:22:00,292 - She moved with her family to Miami. - So why don't you look her up? 468 00:22:00,729 --> 00:22:01,753 I did 469 00:22:01,964 --> 00:22:02,828 once. 470 00:22:02,898 --> 00:22:04,331 I called. She wasn't listed. 471 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,301 So that's it? You get one little bump in the road and give up? 472 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,303 It's probably for the best. 473 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,531 After 13 years, 474 00:22:10,606 --> 00:22:12,130 she's probably gonna think I'm a stalker or something. 475 00:22:12,208 --> 00:22:15,336 You know what you should do is hire a private investigator. 476 00:22:15,411 --> 00:22:18,141 You know, to find her, follow her around. She won't know anything. 477 00:22:18,214 --> 00:22:20,774 No way! That's way too creepy. 478 00:22:21,283 --> 00:22:24,343 Besides, she's probably married with a couple of kids by now. 479 00:22:24,420 --> 00:22:27,981 Girls like Mary... they don't stay single. 480 00:22:28,157 --> 00:22:29,920 Hey, I've got an idea. 481 00:22:30,426 --> 00:22:33,918 There's this guy down in my office. His name's Healy. 482 00:22:33,996 --> 00:22:36,487 He's a claims investigator. He's a hell of a bloodhound. 483 00:22:36,565 --> 00:22:39,625 He goes to Miami every couple of weeks. He can help you out. 484 00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:43,103 This guy runs a little hot, but he gets the job done. 485 00:22:46,442 --> 00:22:47,500 So. 486 00:22:49,144 --> 00:22:52,272 Dom says you're looking for some lady friend you knew back at school. 487 00:22:52,348 --> 00:22:55,146 Yeah. Yeah. 488 00:22:55,217 --> 00:22:56,684 That's cute. 489 00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,777 I don't buy it, but it's cute. 490 00:22:58,854 --> 00:23:00,947 You're not buying what? 491 00:23:01,757 --> 00:23:06,421 Ted, I'm the kind of guy who likes to shoot from the hip. 492 00:23:08,397 --> 00:23:10,661 I want you to level with me. 493 00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:16,765 Come on, let's talk. 494 00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:19,003 Did you knock this skirt up? Huh? 495 00:23:19,408 --> 00:23:20,397 No. 496 00:23:20,542 --> 00:23:22,476 She's blackmailing you, right? 497 00:23:22,544 --> 00:23:24,068 Blackmailing me? 498 00:23:24,613 --> 00:23:25,477 No. 499 00:23:25,547 --> 00:23:27,515 You want her dead, don't you? 500 00:23:27,583 --> 00:23:28,607 Dead? 501 00:23:29,451 --> 00:23:30,475 Were you... 502 00:23:30,886 --> 00:23:32,183 You're not serious, are you? 503 00:23:32,254 --> 00:23:35,712 You expect me to believe this is a straight stalker case? Come on! 504 00:23:35,791 --> 00:23:38,954 Hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm not a stalker. I'm not a stalker, all right? 505 00:23:39,028 --> 00:23:41,223 - She's a friend of mine. - Oh, sure she is! 506 00:23:41,297 --> 00:23:43,891 That explains why she's got an unlisted number, 507 00:23:43,966 --> 00:23:46,400 and you haven't heard squat from her in 13 years. 508 00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,129 Yeah. A real chum. 509 00:23:48,203 --> 00:23:49,898 You're good, Ted. 510 00:23:49,972 --> 00:23:51,769 Real piece of work. 511 00:23:52,207 --> 00:23:53,731 You know what? Forget it. 512 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:54,833 Just forget the whole thing. 513 00:23:55,244 --> 00:23:57,144 OK, I'll do it. 514 00:23:57,212 --> 00:23:59,908 But if this chick turns up with a toe tag, 515 00:23:59,982 --> 00:24:01,847 I'm rolling over on you, big guy. 516 00:24:03,452 --> 00:24:04,919 All right. 517 00:24:22,037 --> 00:24:23,902 Healy, you dog. 518 00:24:24,540 --> 00:24:25,598 Sully! 519 00:24:26,408 --> 00:24:27,432 Look at you. 520 00:24:27,609 --> 00:24:30,840 You hot shit, you look fucking pisser. 521 00:24:30,913 --> 00:24:32,813 Hey. Hey, good fella. 522 00:24:33,882 --> 00:24:34,871 Does he bite? 523 00:24:34,950 --> 00:24:35,974 A little bit. 524 00:24:36,051 --> 00:24:37,075 Get in. 525 00:24:40,556 --> 00:24:42,547 Here's the info you asked for. 526 00:24:42,624 --> 00:24:43,648 Thanks. 527 00:24:44,059 --> 00:24:45,651 Yeah, you should thank me. 528 00:24:45,728 --> 00:24:47,559 That girl was not easy to find. 529 00:24:47,629 --> 00:24:50,894 What, she scam you out of some insurance dough? 530 00:24:50,966 --> 00:24:52,957 Nah. Some guy gave me a couple bucks 531 00:24:53,035 --> 00:24:55,503 to track down his high school girlfriend. 532 00:24:55,571 --> 00:24:56,833 Stalker, huh? 533 00:24:57,906 --> 00:24:59,168 Yep. Big time. 534 00:25:29,104 --> 00:25:32,096 Looks like we found your Mary, Ted. 535 00:25:32,541 --> 00:25:34,509 Husband... negative. 536 00:25:35,677 --> 00:25:37,474 Children and a labrador, 537 00:25:37,546 --> 00:25:38,672 negative. 538 00:25:39,014 --> 00:25:41,005 Tight little package, 539 00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,550 affirmative. 540 00:25:51,093 --> 00:25:52,754 Good morning, Magda. 541 00:25:52,828 --> 00:25:55,626 - Hi, doll. You're in my light. - Sorry. 542 00:25:57,566 --> 00:25:59,534 So you been out here all night again? 543 00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:01,501 You bet your ass I have. 544 00:26:01,570 --> 00:26:04,266 This is an importantjob, Neighborhood Watch is. 545 00:26:04,339 --> 00:26:07,331 Ah. Neighborhood Watch. Is that what we're calling it? 546 00:26:07,576 --> 00:26:10,909 Listening to perfect strangers' telephone conversations. 547 00:26:11,780 --> 00:26:15,238 This only picks up cellular phones in a half a mile radius. 548 00:26:15,317 --> 00:26:16,341 Meaning? 549 00:26:17,386 --> 00:26:19,183 Meaning these are the people you live amongst. 550 00:26:19,254 --> 00:26:20,983 You got a right to know if they're creeps. 551 00:26:21,056 --> 00:26:22,523 For instance, you know the guy 552 00:26:22,591 --> 00:26:27,153 in the green house down the street? Cheating on his wife. 553 00:26:27,596 --> 00:26:29,564 And I am not surprised. 554 00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:31,792 I am not surprised at all. 555 00:26:32,234 --> 00:26:35,499 Because Puffy used to bark his balls off whenever he saw him. 556 00:26:35,571 --> 00:26:38,699 And you know that Puffy, he only barks at the bad people. 557 00:26:38,774 --> 00:26:39,798 OK. 558 00:26:41,577 --> 00:26:43,340 Listen, I'm gonna go hit some golf balls, 559 00:26:43,412 --> 00:26:46,176 and hook up with Warren, so... try to get some sleep. 560 00:26:47,082 --> 00:26:47,946 OK. 561 00:26:48,016 --> 00:26:49,540 - Bye, doll. - Bye. 562 00:26:50,552 --> 00:26:51,519 Hello. 563 00:26:51,587 --> 00:26:52,611 Hi, Mary. 564 00:27:00,162 --> 00:27:01,823 Hey, Herb. How's it going? 565 00:27:01,897 --> 00:27:02,989 Apple for you today. 566 00:27:03,065 --> 00:27:04,089 Thanks, Mary. 567 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,568 Have a good day. See you later. 568 00:27:06,869 --> 00:27:07,858 Lookin' good, honey. 569 00:27:38,433 --> 00:27:39,400 Hi, Mary. 570 00:27:39,468 --> 00:27:41,060 Hey, Mrs Bailey. How you doing? 571 00:27:41,136 --> 00:27:43,627 Looks like we got ajock on our hands. 572 00:27:50,546 --> 00:27:51,979 Hey, you want the sports page? 573 00:27:52,047 --> 00:27:53,514 Sure. Thank you. 574 00:27:53,615 --> 00:27:55,742 Take care now. 575 00:27:55,817 --> 00:27:56,943 Bye, you guys. See ya. 576 00:28:19,508 --> 00:28:21,499 Yeah. Can I have two, Mary? 577 00:28:21,577 --> 00:28:24,910 Yeah, you can have two halves, just like everybody else. 578 00:28:25,180 --> 00:28:25,874 Mmm. 579 00:28:25,948 --> 00:28:26,915 Yeah, it's good. 580 00:28:28,917 --> 00:28:30,111 Will you marry me, Mary? 581 00:28:30,185 --> 00:28:32,016 Oh, I would love to, Jimmy, 582 00:28:32,087 --> 00:28:34,555 but, um, I'm already engaged to Freddie. 583 00:28:35,891 --> 00:28:37,222 Who's Freddie? Me? 584 00:28:37,292 --> 00:28:38,520 Yeah, that's you. 585 00:28:39,595 --> 00:28:40,994 Will you marry me? 586 00:28:42,497 --> 00:28:44,192 What about Dolores? 587 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,999 You gonna marry us both? 588 00:28:46,068 --> 00:28:47,660 I'm gonna kiss you. 589 00:28:47,736 --> 00:28:49,727 I think you're making out pretty well there. 590 00:28:49,805 --> 00:28:50,863 OK. 591 00:28:51,873 --> 00:28:52,805 Thanks, Mary. 592 00:28:52,874 --> 00:28:54,808 You're welcome, Zack. 593 00:28:55,210 --> 00:28:56,370 - No onions. - No onions. 594 00:28:56,745 --> 00:28:57,677 No onions. 595 00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,770 No onions. How you doing? 596 00:29:01,984 --> 00:29:03,451 Listen to this one: 597 00:29:03,518 --> 00:29:06,112 "Seeking sensitive WASP doctor 598 00:29:06,188 --> 00:29:07,815 to share candlelit dinners, 599 00:29:07,889 --> 00:29:09,914 long walks in Coconut Grove, 600 00:29:09,992 --> 00:29:10,959 marriage." 601 00:29:11,026 --> 00:29:12,459 Is she looking for a corpse? 602 00:29:12,527 --> 00:29:14,085 You have to be specific when you write those. 603 00:29:14,162 --> 00:29:18,496 You have to say, "seeking deaf mute with", you know, 604 00:29:18,567 --> 00:29:20,694 "3-pound cock and trust fund." 605 00:29:23,338 --> 00:29:25,636 I want a guy who can play 36 holes 606 00:29:25,707 --> 00:29:27,140 and still have enough energy 607 00:29:27,209 --> 00:29:28,938 to take me and Warren to a ball game 608 00:29:29,011 --> 00:29:30,342 and eat hot dogs. 609 00:29:30,412 --> 00:29:32,277 I'm talking sausage hot dogs, beer. 610 00:29:32,347 --> 00:29:35,111 Not light beer, but beer. That's my ad. Print it up. 611 00:29:36,718 --> 00:29:39,243 Fatty who likes beer and golf. 612 00:29:40,022 --> 00:29:43,116 Jeez, Mary, where you gonna find a gem like that? 613 00:29:44,593 --> 00:29:46,561 OK, well, here's the catch. 614 00:29:46,628 --> 00:29:48,994 He has to be self-employed. 615 00:29:49,731 --> 00:29:51,062 Like a drug dealer? 616 00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:54,499 No, I was thinking along the lines, maybe, 617 00:29:54,569 --> 00:29:56,127 of somebody like 618 00:29:56,204 --> 00:29:57,728 an architect or something. 619 00:29:57,806 --> 00:30:01,071 But I want somebody with freedom in theirjob, you know? 620 00:30:01,243 --> 00:30:02,938 Somebody who can do it anywhere 621 00:30:03,011 --> 00:30:05,571 and just leave at a drop of a hat. 622 00:30:05,647 --> 00:30:08,445 And where would you and your beer-bellied architect be going to? 623 00:30:10,018 --> 00:30:11,679 Super Bowl? 624 00:30:11,953 --> 00:30:13,250 That's good. 625 00:30:13,355 --> 00:30:15,220 I don't know. Maybe a few months in Nepal. 626 00:30:16,758 --> 00:30:20,285 And you'd probably dump the poor guy halfway to Katmandu. 627 00:30:20,362 --> 00:30:22,296 What's that supposed to mean? 628 00:30:22,364 --> 00:30:24,423 It means you change your mind too much. 629 00:30:24,499 --> 00:30:25,523 No, I don't. 630 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:26,726 Oh, come off it, Mary. 631 00:30:26,802 --> 00:30:29,600 Remember that gorgeous corn-fed white-boy honey 632 00:30:29,671 --> 00:30:32,105 that you just dumped like yesterday's garbage? 633 00:30:32,174 --> 00:30:33,835 What was his name? Pack man. 634 00:30:35,110 --> 00:30:37,271 OK. We had fun for a while. 635 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,038 Mary, cut the crap. 636 00:30:40,115 --> 00:30:41,844 What really happened with Brett? 637 00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:44,283 Yeah. Brett seemed so sweet. 638 00:30:45,287 --> 00:30:48,848 You know what Tucker said Brett told him? 639 00:30:49,091 --> 00:30:51,559 He said that if Warren wasn't in my life, 640 00:30:51,626 --> 00:30:54,424 that he would have popped the question a long time ago. 641 00:30:54,496 --> 00:30:56,327 - Oh. - What a schmuck. 642 00:30:57,833 --> 00:31:00,301 To hell with Brett, you know? 643 00:31:01,136 --> 00:31:03,400 I've got a vibrator. 644 00:31:07,109 --> 00:31:08,098 Shh! 645 00:31:24,092 --> 00:31:26,026 Those are the plays of the month. 646 00:31:26,094 --> 00:31:27,584 Thank you for joining us. 647 00:31:27,662 --> 00:31:29,061 Look forward to seeing you next Sunday 648 00:31:29,131 --> 00:31:30,689 on the Sports Machine. 649 00:31:30,766 --> 00:31:32,631 Have a good week, everybody. 650 00:31:42,444 --> 00:31:44,639 Oh, ho-ho, yeah. 651 00:31:45,147 --> 00:31:46,171 Ho ho. 652 00:31:47,115 --> 00:31:48,878 Here comes the money shot. 653 00:31:55,457 --> 00:31:56,754 Aah! 654 00:31:58,093 --> 00:32:00,789 First chink in the armor, Ted. 655 00:32:03,932 --> 00:32:05,058 Ohh. 656 00:32:05,934 --> 00:32:06,901 Shit. 657 00:32:09,671 --> 00:32:10,695 Ohh, yeah. 658 00:32:19,781 --> 00:32:22,716 Pop, you wanna get me a whisky sour when you get a sec? 659 00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:24,076 Whisky sour coming up. 660 00:32:24,152 --> 00:32:26,052 Got some excellent news for you, my friend. 661 00:32:26,121 --> 00:32:27,520 Oh, yeah? Excellent? 662 00:32:27,589 --> 00:32:29,022 I think your life's about to change. 663 00:32:29,090 --> 00:32:30,022 Really? 664 00:32:30,091 --> 00:32:31,683 So... so you found her? 665 00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:32,784 Oh, yeah. 666 00:32:33,128 --> 00:32:36,495 And you were right, man. She really is something else. 667 00:32:36,598 --> 00:32:37,622 My God. 668 00:32:38,133 --> 00:32:39,157 Really? 669 00:32:39,634 --> 00:32:41,226 So... so she hasn't 670 00:32:41,303 --> 00:32:43,168 she hasn't changed at all, huh? 671 00:32:43,238 --> 00:32:45,570 Well, that I couldn't say. 672 00:32:45,707 --> 00:32:47,834 Let me ask you something. 673 00:32:48,844 --> 00:32:52,109 Was Mary a little big-boned back in high school? 674 00:32:52,214 --> 00:32:54,375 Big-boned? No, no. Not at all. No. 675 00:32:55,050 --> 00:32:58,781 I guess she packed on a few pounds over the years. 676 00:32:58,854 --> 00:33:02,119 Oh, yeah. So she's a little... she's a little chubby? 677 00:33:02,190 --> 00:33:04,522 Oh, I'd say about a deuce, deuce and a half. Not bad. 678 00:33:04,593 --> 00:33:07,653 Oh, my. A deuce and a half. 679 00:33:08,797 --> 00:33:12,563 You shit out a bunch of kids, and you're bound to put on a few pounds. 680 00:33:12,634 --> 00:33:14,261 Oh, so she's, um 681 00:33:15,170 --> 00:33:16,159 she's married? 682 00:33:16,238 --> 00:33:18,866 No, no. She's never been. That's the good news. 683 00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:19,964 Huh? 684 00:33:21,142 --> 00:33:24,043 Four kids, three different guys, but no rock. 685 00:33:24,579 --> 00:33:26,570 Hyperactive little fuckers, too. 686 00:33:26,648 --> 00:33:29,048 Tough to keep up with in a wheelchair, I bet. 687 00:33:29,150 --> 00:33:33,109 She's in a wheelchair? Mary's in a wheelchair? 688 00:33:33,188 --> 00:33:35,588 I thought that was part of your kick. 689 00:33:35,657 --> 00:33:37,591 Excuse me, I ordered a whisky sour. 690 00:33:37,659 --> 00:33:38,990 Whatever. 691 00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:41,756 Are you sure it's the same Mary? 692 00:33:41,830 --> 00:33:44,628 Oh, yeah. It's Mary all right. The brother Warren? 693 00:33:44,699 --> 00:33:48,294 Hey, don't look so shocked, Ted. It's been a long time. 694 00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:52,101 I bet you've changed a lot the last 13 years. 695 00:33:52,173 --> 00:33:54,437 What, do you think your shit don't stink? 696 00:33:54,509 --> 00:33:57,137 No, I don't think... I... I mean, yes, it doe... 697 00:33:57,212 --> 00:34:00,113 OK, I got all the information you need. 698 00:34:00,181 --> 00:34:02,240 I got it off her bookie. Nice guy. 699 00:34:02,317 --> 00:34:04,114 You really should look her up, Ted. 700 00:34:04,185 --> 00:34:06,619 I mean, she's a real spark plug, this one. 701 00:34:06,688 --> 00:34:09,418 Well, thank you. Thanks, Healy. Good work. 702 00:34:10,025 --> 00:34:11,049 Uh, Ted, 703 00:34:12,127 --> 00:34:16,393 don't you want the name of the housing project? 704 00:34:16,665 --> 00:34:17,689 What? 705 00:34:18,633 --> 00:34:19,998 ... for 1,995. 706 00:34:20,068 --> 00:34:23,003 See the Sarone boys on Route 1 in South Brattleboro, and right here 707 00:34:23,071 --> 00:34:26,632 on Jefferson Boulevard in Warwick... 708 00:34:39,921 --> 00:34:42,651 Well, it hurts from the bottom 709 00:34:43,425 --> 00:34:46,019 And it hurts down to your soul 710 00:34:46,828 --> 00:34:47,760 That's because 711 00:34:47,829 --> 00:34:49,694 True love is not nice 712 00:34:53,435 --> 00:34:55,300 And it brings up hurt 713 00:34:56,338 --> 00:34:58,932 From when you were five years old 714 00:34:59,741 --> 00:35:01,003 That's because 715 00:35:01,076 --> 00:35:02,941 True love is not nice 716 00:35:04,079 --> 00:35:05,103 No 717 00:35:06,381 --> 00:35:09,316 Oh, pain, pain, pain 718 00:35:10,385 --> 00:35:12,979 Ain't thatjust love's name? 719 00:35:13,555 --> 00:35:15,489 Love can bring up hurt 720 00:35:15,557 --> 00:35:17,115 From way down low 721 00:35:19,928 --> 00:35:22,920 It now be emphasized 722 00:35:23,298 --> 00:35:26,096 True love is just not civilized 723 00:35:27,535 --> 00:35:29,400 True love is not nice 724 00:35:29,871 --> 00:35:30,895 No, no 725 00:35:38,747 --> 00:35:40,146 Where are you goin'? 726 00:35:40,215 --> 00:35:41,273 Huh? 727 00:35:41,716 --> 00:35:43,013 Oh, I resigned. 728 00:35:43,184 --> 00:35:45,277 Good luck in Miami, Pat. 729 00:35:45,887 --> 00:35:46,911 Miami? 730 00:35:47,122 --> 00:35:50,023 What... what are you doing in Miami? 731 00:35:50,091 --> 00:35:52,355 Uh, I took a, uh, job offer. 732 00:35:53,361 --> 00:35:54,385 With who? 733 00:35:55,230 --> 00:35:56,288 With, uh... 734 00:35:56,931 --> 00:35:58,364 Rice-a-roni. 735 00:35:58,833 --> 00:36:01,768 Isn't that the San Francisco treat? 736 00:36:01,836 --> 00:36:02,894 It was. 737 00:36:04,572 --> 00:36:06,039 They're changing their image. 738 00:36:06,107 --> 00:36:08,871 Yeah, well, listen, I've been thinking about what you said. 739 00:36:08,943 --> 00:36:09,841 Good, good. 740 00:36:09,911 --> 00:36:12,903 And, uh, I still want to look her up. 741 00:36:13,415 --> 00:36:14,439 Who? 742 00:36:14,616 --> 00:36:15,640 Roller pig? 743 00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,343 Are you nuts? 744 00:36:17,652 --> 00:36:20,246 I thought you said she was a real spark plug. 745 00:36:20,321 --> 00:36:22,812 Hmm? No, no. I said butt plug. 746 00:36:22,991 --> 00:36:24,322 She's heinous. 747 00:36:27,796 --> 00:36:29,024 You know what? 748 00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:30,857 All the same, I think I wanna call her. 749 00:36:30,932 --> 00:36:32,729 I mean, I know it sounds crazy, 750 00:36:32,801 --> 00:36:35,201 but, you know... I don't know. Maybe I can help her out. 751 00:36:35,270 --> 00:36:36,737 I just... I feel bad, you know? 752 00:36:36,805 --> 00:36:39,365 The poor thing, she's in a wheelchair, for God sakes. 753 00:36:39,441 --> 00:36:41,705 It's... it's a bunion. It'll heal. 754 00:36:41,776 --> 00:36:44,336 Bunion? You... what... I thought... 755 00:36:44,412 --> 00:36:47,347 You know what? That's not even it. The point is, I just... 756 00:36:47,582 --> 00:36:49,641 I know this doesn't make sense to you, 757 00:36:49,751 --> 00:36:53,152 but I can'tjust turn it off that fast. 758 00:36:54,589 --> 00:36:57,820 I guess I still have feelings for her. 759 00:36:58,827 --> 00:37:01,625 This girl really means something to you, huh? 760 00:37:06,768 --> 00:37:07,792 All right. 761 00:37:08,670 --> 00:37:11,503 Tell you what... I'll get you her number, 762 00:37:11,573 --> 00:37:14,542 just as soon as she gets back from Japan. 763 00:37:14,609 --> 00:37:16,600 Thank you. I'd apprec... 764 00:37:16,678 --> 00:37:19,579 Japan? What is... what's happening in Japan? 765 00:37:19,647 --> 00:37:21,137 Why is she going to Japan? 766 00:37:21,216 --> 00:37:24,549 Oh, uh, you've heard of mail-order brides, haven't you? 767 00:37:24,619 --> 00:37:26,211 Well, they go that way, too. 768 00:37:26,287 --> 00:37:27,311 Mary's a... 769 00:37:27,589 --> 00:37:29,557 What... what, are they desperate? 770 00:37:29,624 --> 00:37:30,591 She's a whale! 771 00:37:30,658 --> 00:37:32,956 Don't forget. It's a sumo culture. 772 00:37:33,027 --> 00:37:34,688 They pay by the pound there. 773 00:37:34,796 --> 00:37:37,993 It's sorta like, uh, sorta like tuna. 774 00:37:39,634 --> 00:37:42,831 Well, what happened to... You said she was single. Remember? No rock. 775 00:37:42,904 --> 00:37:46,101 You had your window, Ted. You blew it. 776 00:37:48,510 --> 00:37:51,035 I had my window? 777 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:55,010 I'm sorry, buddy. It's just... 778 00:37:55,884 --> 00:37:58,978 You're taking this all wrong. I mean, you're liberated. 779 00:37:59,053 --> 00:38:04,184 I mean, you think you blew it with the greatest girl ever, and it turns out 780 00:38:04,259 --> 00:38:09,629 getting your dick stuck in your zipper was the best thing that ever happened to you. 781 00:38:09,697 --> 00:38:11,164 You wanna say it a little louder? 782 00:38:11,232 --> 00:38:13,097 I'm sorry, but it was. 783 00:38:14,335 --> 00:38:16,235 I never told you that. 784 00:38:17,705 --> 00:38:20,503 Well, I was only four towns away. 785 00:38:20,909 --> 00:38:21,841 Excuse me. 786 00:38:21,910 --> 00:38:23,207 Oh, sure, sweetheart. 787 00:38:23,278 --> 00:38:24,643 Oh, man, I gotta go. 788 00:38:24,712 --> 00:38:26,612 I gotta get up at 6 a.m. Tomorrow 789 00:38:26,681 --> 00:38:28,478 and help my boss' brother move. 790 00:38:28,550 --> 00:38:30,916 Your boss' brother? Who's that? 791 00:38:30,985 --> 00:38:33,010 I don't even know. I never met him. 792 00:38:33,087 --> 00:38:36,523 Ted, you gotta finish that novel so you can quit that stupid magazine. 793 00:38:36,591 --> 00:38:37,922 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 794 00:38:43,765 --> 00:38:44,857 Nice swing. 795 00:38:53,107 --> 00:38:54,870 Christ! Hit a house! 796 00:38:55,376 --> 00:38:58,277 I haven't swung the wrenches in a while. 797 00:39:03,418 --> 00:39:07,115 Would you mind givin' me some pointers here? 798 00:39:07,188 --> 00:39:10,351 Yeah. Sure. Don't talk in someone's backswing. 799 00:39:11,392 --> 00:39:12,416 Oh, thanks. 800 00:39:14,028 --> 00:39:15,791 I'm gonna go get a soda. You want one? 801 00:39:15,897 --> 00:39:16,921 No, thanks. 802 00:39:20,001 --> 00:39:22,902 Oh, uh, look, I'm sorry to bother you again, 803 00:39:22,971 --> 00:39:25,303 but, uh... you got change of a dollar? 804 00:39:25,373 --> 00:39:26,397 No. 805 00:39:27,408 --> 00:39:30,741 All I got are these damn Nepalese coins. 806 00:39:34,515 --> 00:39:36,380 You've been to Nepal? 807 00:39:38,786 --> 00:39:41,254 Oh, uh, not... not in months. 808 00:39:41,322 --> 00:39:44,052 I don't even know why I bought the damn place. 809 00:39:50,365 --> 00:39:54,324 - Nice meeting you again. - You, too... again. 810 00:39:56,938 --> 00:39:58,838 So what's your name? 811 00:39:59,741 --> 00:40:00,765 Pat Healy. 812 00:40:04,545 --> 00:40:06,012 Wanna know mine? 813 00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:08,239 I already know it, Mary. 814 00:40:10,451 --> 00:40:11,816 How did you know that? 815 00:40:12,086 --> 00:40:14,577 'Cause it's right there on your golf bag. 816 00:40:21,229 --> 00:40:22,423 Aw, damn! 817 00:40:24,465 --> 00:40:27,298 Wow. Are... are those blueprints? 818 00:40:27,368 --> 00:40:28,392 Oh, these? 819 00:40:29,037 --> 00:40:32,404 They're just some, uh, projects I'm working on. 820 00:40:32,473 --> 00:40:35,499 Museum... hospital for kids. 821 00:40:35,576 --> 00:40:37,908 Really? Are you an architect? 822 00:40:37,979 --> 00:40:41,073 Just till I get my, uh, PGA tour card. 823 00:40:41,816 --> 00:40:47,118 No. I mean, are they putting up a new museum in town, or is it... 824 00:40:48,022 --> 00:40:51,583 To tell you the truth, I'm sort of burnt out on talkin' about it. 825 00:40:51,659 --> 00:40:52,921 Oh, I'm sorry. 826 00:40:53,094 --> 00:40:56,427 It's just ajob, really. You know, something to keep me moving. 827 00:40:56,497 --> 00:41:00,957 - My real passion is my hobby. - Really? What's that? 828 00:41:01,035 --> 00:41:02,730 I work with retards. 829 00:41:04,939 --> 00:41:08,136 Isn't that a little politically, um, incorrect? 830 00:41:08,209 --> 00:41:10,074 Well, the hell with that. 831 00:41:10,144 --> 00:41:14,046 No one's gonna tell me who I can and can't work with, right? 832 00:41:14,115 --> 00:41:17,778 - No. I mean... - We got this one kid... Mongo. 833 00:41:17,852 --> 00:41:21,219 He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater, 834 00:41:21,289 --> 00:41:22,881 but we don't bust his chops too much. 835 00:41:22,957 --> 00:41:27,223 - So one day Mongo gets out of his cage... - What, they keep him in a cage? 836 00:41:27,295 --> 00:41:29,092 Well, it's... it's just an enclosure. 837 00:41:29,163 --> 00:41:30,494 No, but they keep him confined. 838 00:41:30,565 --> 00:41:31,463 Right, yeah. 839 00:41:31,532 --> 00:41:32,965 That's bullshit! 840 00:41:33,034 --> 00:41:34,262 Well, that's what I said! 841 00:41:34,335 --> 00:41:37,099 So I went out, and I got him, um, I got him a leash. 842 00:41:37,171 --> 00:41:38,103 A leash! 843 00:41:38,172 --> 00:41:40,299 Yeah, one of those ones you can hook onto the clothesline, 844 00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:42,275 and he can run back and forth. 845 00:41:42,343 --> 00:41:44,174 And, uh, there's plenty of room 846 00:41:44,245 --> 00:41:47,339 for him to... to dig and, uh, play. 847 00:41:47,682 --> 00:41:49,582 That kid is really, uh, 848 00:41:49,650 --> 00:41:51,777 he's really blossomed, you know? 849 00:41:51,853 --> 00:41:54,048 Now I can, uh, take him to movies. 850 00:41:55,256 --> 00:41:56,689 Baseball games. 851 00:41:57,125 --> 00:41:58,149 Fun stuff. 852 00:41:58,793 --> 00:41:59,851 Yeah. 853 00:42:00,895 --> 00:42:02,055 Sounds cool. 854 00:42:02,263 --> 00:42:03,855 Oh, yeah, it's cool for them, 855 00:42:03,931 --> 00:42:05,990 but for me it's much more than that. 856 00:42:06,067 --> 00:42:07,261 For me, it's... it's heaven. 857 00:42:07,335 --> 00:42:08,359 Y'know? 858 00:42:09,103 --> 00:42:11,003 Those goofy bastards are just about 859 00:42:11,072 --> 00:42:14,508 the best thing I've got goin' in this 860 00:42:14,575 --> 00:42:15,906 crazy world. 861 00:42:19,213 --> 00:42:22,944 Hey, dipshit, be careful with that thing, will you? 862 00:42:23,017 --> 00:42:24,006 What? 863 00:42:24,085 --> 00:42:25,177 You heard me. 864 00:42:25,553 --> 00:42:28,545 You already put a fuckin' nick in my piano. 865 00:42:28,623 --> 00:42:32,286 Well, I'll try to be a little more careful. 866 00:42:32,593 --> 00:42:35,289 What are you, fading? You wimpin' out on me? 867 00:42:35,363 --> 00:42:38,764 It's just that this is a little bit heavy, that's all. 868 00:42:38,833 --> 00:42:43,099 Heavy? What I wouldn't give to know what heavy feels like, 869 00:42:43,171 --> 00:42:44,160 you insensitive prick. 870 00:42:44,238 --> 00:42:47,139 No, I didn't... I didn't mean that! 871 00:42:47,208 --> 00:42:49,836 Yeah, yeah. I'm goin' down the street to get some coffee. 872 00:42:49,911 --> 00:42:52,709 Wait! Wait! I'll get you the coffee. Just... just... 873 00:42:52,780 --> 00:42:53,747 Hey, I'm sorry! 874 00:43:01,522 --> 00:43:04,514 Tender, fascial tissue left of L7. 875 00:43:07,161 --> 00:43:08,185 Hey, Bob? 876 00:43:09,330 --> 00:43:10,627 Remember Mary? 877 00:43:11,966 --> 00:43:12,990 Oh, yeah. 878 00:43:14,368 --> 00:43:15,801 I remember Mary. 879 00:43:17,438 --> 00:43:21,670 Hey, I saw her a few months ago at a convention in Las Vegas. 880 00:43:21,742 --> 00:43:24,006 How could you see her at a convention? 881 00:43:24,078 --> 00:43:26,478 Well, I'm a chiropractor. She's an orthopedic surgeon. 882 00:43:26,547 --> 00:43:27,775 She's a what?! 883 00:43:28,416 --> 00:43:29,678 She's an orthopedic surgeon. 884 00:43:29,750 --> 00:43:32,548 And... oof... she's still a fox. 885 00:43:34,989 --> 00:43:38,015 What if the families don't want a class action? 886 00:43:38,092 --> 00:43:43,120 Oh, God! That's what I've been trying to explain to you people for the last hour! 887 00:43:43,197 --> 00:43:44,892 OK, fine. We'll go over it again. 888 00:43:44,966 --> 00:43:46,092 Mary's a fox! 889 00:43:46,467 --> 00:43:47,491 What? 890 00:43:47,635 --> 00:43:49,796 Mary's a fox? What do you... 891 00:43:49,871 --> 00:43:51,361 Hey, folks. Here, let's... 892 00:43:51,439 --> 00:43:54,306 We'll break up. We'll spitball this tomorrow. OK? 893 00:43:54,375 --> 00:43:56,809 What the hell are you talking about?! 894 00:43:56,878 --> 00:43:58,175 Mary? My Mary? 895 00:43:58,579 --> 00:44:02,015 She's not in Japan. She has no rugrats running around. 896 00:44:02,083 --> 00:44:04,108 My friend says she's a fox. 897 00:44:04,185 --> 00:44:05,413 A surgeon fox. 898 00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,114 I don't get it. I mean Healy... 899 00:44:08,189 --> 00:44:11,124 Think about it! He never even looked her up down there! 900 00:44:11,192 --> 00:44:14,184 He was there closing his deal with the Rice-a-roni people the whole time! 901 00:44:18,466 --> 00:44:19,763 What's up with your head? 902 00:44:19,834 --> 00:44:25,739 Oh. I... I get hives tap-dancing for these idiots. I get a little stressed out. 903 00:44:25,806 --> 00:44:30,607 Jeez. You know, I feel like a royal shit because I set you up with this guy. 904 00:44:31,879 --> 00:44:35,280 You know what you gotta do. You gotta call her. 905 00:44:35,349 --> 00:44:36,873 Fuck calling her. 906 00:44:37,485 --> 00:44:39,350 I'm goin' down there. 907 00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:41,051 Yeah, yeah, OK. 908 00:44:42,323 --> 00:44:43,347 ASAP. 909 00:44:43,491 --> 00:44:45,482 So, who's the lucky guy? 910 00:44:47,028 --> 00:44:48,359 His name's Pat. 911 00:44:49,030 --> 00:44:50,395 I met him at the driving range. 912 00:44:50,464 --> 00:44:52,227 Is he good looking? 913 00:44:53,901 --> 00:44:55,664 He's no Steve Young. 914 00:44:55,937 --> 00:44:57,632 So, what is he like? 915 00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:00,466 I don't know. 916 00:45:01,442 --> 00:45:02,409 Kind of a mook. 917 00:45:02,476 --> 00:45:03,500 A schlep. 918 00:45:03,844 --> 00:45:05,778 Why the hell you going out with him if he's a schlep? 919 00:45:05,913 --> 00:45:07,847 He's not like that, Magda. 920 00:45:07,915 --> 00:45:09,314 You know, it's... 921 00:45:09,383 --> 00:45:11,374 It's like that movie Harold and Maude. 922 00:45:12,553 --> 00:45:13,884 I don't watch the new ones. 923 00:45:13,955 --> 00:45:17,516 Well, you should, because it's probably the greatest love story of our time. 924 00:45:17,592 --> 00:45:18,923 The point is 925 00:45:19,393 --> 00:45:21,953 is that love isn't about 926 00:45:22,296 --> 00:45:24,594 money or social standings 927 00:45:24,665 --> 00:45:25,597 or age. 928 00:45:25,666 --> 00:45:27,861 It's about two people connecting, 929 00:45:27,935 --> 00:45:29,800 having something in common. 930 00:45:29,870 --> 00:45:31,997 You know, kindred spirits. 931 00:45:32,073 --> 00:45:33,802 Fuck kindred spirits. 932 00:45:33,874 --> 00:45:35,933 My little Puffy here is going to tell you 933 00:45:36,010 --> 00:45:37,705 everything you need to know about that guy 934 00:45:37,778 --> 00:45:39,507 in about two seconds flat. 935 00:45:39,580 --> 00:45:42,606 If Puffy starts yapping, uh-uh. He's a loser. 936 00:45:42,683 --> 00:45:47,017 If he likes him, then you've got yourself a keeper. 937 00:46:12,413 --> 00:46:13,437 Yeah. 938 00:46:14,448 --> 00:46:17,975 Pufferball likes it when I rub his belly. 939 00:46:19,120 --> 00:46:20,587 That is amazing! 940 00:46:21,722 --> 00:46:23,087 He doesn't like anybody. 941 00:46:23,157 --> 00:46:25,648 He never usually likes guys. 942 00:46:26,394 --> 00:46:28,362 He doesn't like bad guys. 943 00:46:28,429 --> 00:46:29,657 Is that right? 944 00:46:30,164 --> 00:46:32,792 I can tell that you're an animal nut. 945 00:46:32,867 --> 00:46:34,198 You are, aren't you? 946 00:46:34,268 --> 00:46:35,792 You got me pegged. 947 00:46:36,437 --> 00:46:39,600 You know, in Nepal, the villagers there called me 948 00:46:39,674 --> 00:46:40,902 Kin ton ti, 949 00:46:40,975 --> 00:46:42,533 which means 950 00:46:42,877 --> 00:46:49,009 "noble man who is loved by many animal, who, in kind, he loveth, too." 951 00:46:51,819 --> 00:46:53,912 Would you like a cup of tea or something? 952 00:46:53,988 --> 00:46:56,786 I'd love a brewski if you got one. 953 00:46:56,957 --> 00:46:58,185 We can do that. 954 00:46:58,626 --> 00:47:02,392 Hey, Magda, why don't you help me in the kitchen? 955 00:47:02,463 --> 00:47:05,398 Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Certainly. Of course. 956 00:47:07,468 --> 00:47:08,492 Kin ton ti. 957 00:47:12,039 --> 00:47:15,406 Puffer doesn't like bad guys, does he? 958 00:47:17,678 --> 00:47:18,702 Puffer? 959 00:47:20,915 --> 00:47:21,973 Puffer? 960 00:47:23,818 --> 00:47:25,445 Puffer, come on, boy. 961 00:47:25,619 --> 00:47:27,587 Would you like a little clam dip, doll? 962 00:47:27,655 --> 00:47:28,713 Uh, no, thank you. 963 00:47:28,789 --> 00:47:31,019 I'd love a bundt cake if you have one. 964 00:47:32,626 --> 00:47:33,854 - Bundt cake? - Bundt cake? 965 00:47:34,128 --> 00:47:35,186 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 966 00:47:38,666 --> 00:47:39,690 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 967 00:47:42,436 --> 00:47:43,334 1, 2, 3. 968 00:47:43,404 --> 00:47:45,872 Hey, Pat, do you want a, um 969 00:47:46,407 --> 00:47:48,398 a Budweiser or a Heinie? 970 00:47:48,476 --> 00:47:49,943 Uh, yeah, whatever. 971 00:47:50,044 --> 00:47:52,512 Come on, Puffer! Stay away from the light! 972 00:47:54,749 --> 00:47:56,649 OK, I'll just get you a regular. 973 00:48:07,228 --> 00:48:08,286 Uhh! 974 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,104 All set? 975 00:48:35,156 --> 00:48:36,054 Ohh. 976 00:48:36,123 --> 00:48:37,488 Oh, good pooch. 977 00:48:37,691 --> 00:48:40,660 All we had were some Oreos. How does that sound, honey? 978 00:48:43,164 --> 00:48:44,188 Oh, my God. 979 00:48:46,867 --> 00:48:49,859 He's got him wrapped up like a baby. 980 00:48:50,471 --> 00:48:51,495 He was... 981 00:48:52,173 --> 00:48:53,140 He was a little chilly. 982 00:48:57,278 --> 00:48:58,745 Well, here we are. 983 00:48:58,813 --> 00:48:59,802 - The museum? - Yeah. 984 00:48:59,880 --> 00:49:02,747 - I thought we were going to dinner. - First, I have a surprise. 985 00:49:02,817 --> 00:49:06,412 - Surprise? - It's the architecture exhibit. 986 00:49:06,487 --> 00:49:08,512 - Architecture exhibit? - Yeah. 987 00:49:08,589 --> 00:49:12,457 - I got to eat something or I get the shakes. - Come on. We'll eat in 20 minutes. 988 00:49:12,526 --> 00:49:15,859 My friend Tucker is upstairs and I want you to meet him. He's an architect, too. 989 00:49:15,930 --> 00:49:16,897 - Come on. - Architect? 990 00:49:16,964 --> 00:49:17,988 Yeah. 991 00:49:18,599 --> 00:49:19,623 Tucker. 992 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,496 This is amazing. It just blows me away. 993 00:49:24,171 --> 00:49:27,163 What do you think this falls under? Is this Art Deco, or is it Art Nouveau? 994 00:49:28,776 --> 00:49:29,708 Uh... 995 00:49:29,777 --> 00:49:30,709 Deco. 996 00:49:30,778 --> 00:49:32,541 - Deco, yeah. - Yeah. 997 00:49:32,980 --> 00:49:34,447 It's beautiful. 998 00:49:35,149 --> 00:49:36,411 Is this... OK. 999 00:49:36,517 --> 00:49:38,747 Is this a vestibule, or is it a portico? 1000 00:49:38,819 --> 00:49:40,343 What is the difference between the two? 1001 00:49:40,421 --> 00:49:42,480 Uh, when you're looking at architecture, 1002 00:49:42,556 --> 00:49:44,990 try to visualize the buildings 1003 00:49:45,059 --> 00:49:47,027 as a whole, you know? 1004 00:49:47,127 --> 00:49:51,791 Uh, try to see them in their natural state, in their 1005 00:49:52,166 --> 00:49:54,657 totalitarian... ism, 1006 00:49:54,969 --> 00:49:56,197 so to speak. 1007 00:49:56,770 --> 00:49:58,203 Stone crab time. 1008 00:49:58,606 --> 00:50:01,074 - Let's go to Joe's, huh? - Hey, Tucker. 1009 00:50:03,544 --> 00:50:05,478 Mary! 1010 00:50:05,546 --> 00:50:06,570 How are you? 1011 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:07,738 Good. 1012 00:50:07,815 --> 00:50:08,782 I'm glad we saw you. 1013 00:50:08,849 --> 00:50:09,873 Uhh! 1014 00:50:10,084 --> 00:50:12,348 Oh, come on, like you mean it. 1015 00:50:12,419 --> 00:50:15,616 Tucker, this is my friend, Pat Healy. 1016 00:50:15,689 --> 00:50:17,520 Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Patrick. 1017 00:50:17,591 --> 00:50:18,523 Same here. 1018 00:50:18,592 --> 00:50:20,184 Pat is an architect as well. 1019 00:50:20,261 --> 00:50:21,285 Oh, really? 1020 00:50:21,562 --> 00:50:22,927 Where are your offices? 1021 00:50:22,997 --> 00:50:25,124 Mainly, I work out of Boston. 1022 00:50:25,199 --> 00:50:26,291 Boston, huh? 1023 00:50:27,201 --> 00:50:28,634 Did you get your degree up there? 1024 00:50:28,702 --> 00:50:29,760 You bet. 1025 00:50:31,038 --> 00:50:33,529 Really? Where did you study? 1026 00:50:33,607 --> 00:50:34,631 Harvard. 1027 00:50:35,109 --> 00:50:38,408 Then you must've studied under Kim Green. 1028 00:50:38,479 --> 00:50:39,707 Well, among others. 1029 00:50:39,780 --> 00:50:40,804 Huh. 1030 00:50:41,081 --> 00:50:42,844 You know, Pat, um 1031 00:50:43,017 --> 00:50:44,814 does projects all over the world. 1032 00:50:44,885 --> 00:50:47,183 Really? Where would I have seen your work? 1033 00:50:47,254 --> 00:50:49,779 Well, have you been to, uh 1034 00:50:50,291 --> 00:50:51,986 well, let me see. 1035 00:50:52,192 --> 00:50:53,716 Santiago, Chile? 1036 00:50:55,129 --> 00:50:56,061 Twice last year. 1037 00:50:56,130 --> 00:50:58,291 Which building's yours? 1038 00:50:59,833 --> 00:51:02,063 Are you familiar with the soccer stadium? 1039 00:51:02,136 --> 00:51:05,264 Did you build the Estadio Olimpico? 1040 00:51:05,539 --> 00:51:07,564 No, just down the street 1041 00:51:07,641 --> 00:51:10,542 the Celinto Catayente Towers. 1042 00:51:11,312 --> 00:51:14,247 It's quite a fine example, in fact. 1043 00:51:14,315 --> 00:51:16,249 I recommend that next time you're up that way 1044 00:51:16,317 --> 00:51:20,811 that you drop in and take a ganders at it yourself. 1045 00:51:27,828 --> 00:51:30,592 Hey, thanks for picking me up, man. 1046 00:51:30,664 --> 00:51:31,824 Yeah, no problem. 1047 00:51:31,899 --> 00:51:33,628 I've been driving for, like, 15 hours straight, 1048 00:51:33,701 --> 00:51:35,760 so I could use the company. 1049 00:51:35,836 --> 00:51:36,803 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1050 00:51:36,870 --> 00:51:38,428 I've been standing in the same spot 1051 00:51:38,505 --> 00:51:40,598 for five and a half hours. 1052 00:51:40,674 --> 00:51:43,472 You know they made it illegal to hitchhike in this state? 1053 00:51:43,544 --> 00:51:44,568 Really? 1054 00:51:44,745 --> 00:51:47,236 That must make it really tough. 1055 00:51:47,314 --> 00:51:50,112 So, uh, what's going on with you? You a salesman, or... 1056 00:51:51,352 --> 00:51:52,649 Uh, no, no, 1057 00:51:52,853 --> 00:51:55,378 I'm... I'm... I'm nothing. 1058 00:51:56,290 --> 00:51:57,314 I am. 1059 00:51:58,726 --> 00:52:00,125 - Yeah? - I'm a salesman. 1060 00:52:00,194 --> 00:52:02,219 I'm going to start my own company. 1061 00:52:02,296 --> 00:52:03,320 Really? 1062 00:52:03,497 --> 00:52:04,521 You want in? 1063 00:52:07,201 --> 00:52:08,259 Uh... 1064 00:52:08,535 --> 00:52:09,559 I... nah. 1065 00:52:10,004 --> 00:52:12,700 I'm not... I don't really have any money or... 1066 00:52:12,773 --> 00:52:15,799 You heard of this thing the 8-minute abs? 1067 00:52:15,876 --> 00:52:18,140 Yeah, sure, 8-minute abs. Yeah, the exercise video. 1068 00:52:18,979 --> 00:52:23,348 This is going to blow that right out of the water. Listen to this. 1069 00:52:24,385 --> 00:52:27,718 7-minute abs. 1070 00:52:29,156 --> 00:52:30,180 Right. 1071 00:52:30,691 --> 00:52:33,319 Yes. OK, all right, I see where you're going. 1072 00:52:33,627 --> 00:52:39,122 You walk into a video store. There's 8-minute abs and 7-minute abs beside it. 1073 00:52:39,199 --> 00:52:41,224 Which one are you going to pick? 1074 00:52:41,301 --> 00:52:43,565 I'm... I would go for the seven. 1075 00:52:43,637 --> 00:52:45,298 Bingo, man, bingo. 1076 00:52:45,372 --> 00:52:46,634 7-minute abs. 1077 00:52:46,774 --> 00:52:49,971 And we guarantee just as good a workout as the 8-minute folk. 1078 00:52:50,044 --> 00:52:52,569 You guarantee it? That's... How do you do that? 1079 00:52:52,646 --> 00:52:56,241 If you're not happy with the first seven minutes, 1080 00:52:56,316 --> 00:52:59,911 we're going to send you the extra minute free. 1081 00:52:59,987 --> 00:53:03,047 You see? That's it. That's our motto. That's where we're coming from. 1082 00:53:03,190 --> 00:53:04,589 That's from A to B. 1083 00:53:04,658 --> 00:53:07,126 That's right. That's... that's good. That's good. 1084 00:53:07,194 --> 00:53:08,786 Unless, of course, 1085 00:53:08,862 --> 00:53:12,263 somebody comes up with 6-minute abs. Then you're in trouble, huh? 1086 00:53:19,873 --> 00:53:20,931 No! 1087 00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:22,606 No, no, not six. 1088 00:53:23,010 --> 00:53:24,136 I said seven. 1089 00:53:24,244 --> 00:53:25,575 Nobody's coming up with six. 1090 00:53:25,646 --> 00:53:27,113 Who works out in six minutes? 1091 00:53:27,181 --> 00:53:28,580 You won't even get your heart going, 1092 00:53:28,649 --> 00:53:30,412 not even a mouse on a wheel. 1093 00:53:30,484 --> 00:53:32,111 That... good point. 1094 00:53:32,186 --> 00:53:34,211 Seven's the key number here. Think about it. 1095 00:53:34,288 --> 00:53:36,017 - 7-Elevens. - Yeah. 1096 00:53:36,090 --> 00:53:37,148 Seven dwarves. 1097 00:53:37,224 --> 00:53:39,158 Seven, man, that's the number. 1098 00:53:39,226 --> 00:53:41,922 Seven chipmunks twirling on a branch, 1099 00:53:41,995 --> 00:53:44,395 eating lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. 1100 00:53:44,465 --> 00:53:47,901 You know that old children's tale from the sea. 1101 00:53:47,968 --> 00:53:50,436 It's like you're dreaming about Gorgonzola cheese 1102 00:53:50,504 --> 00:53:53,769 when it's clearly Brie time, baby. 1103 00:53:54,241 --> 00:53:56,004 Step into my office. 1104 00:53:56,376 --> 00:53:57,308 Why? 1105 00:53:57,377 --> 00:53:59,641 'Cause you're fucking fired. 1106 00:53:59,713 --> 00:54:02,910 Yeah. I got to pee. I'm just going to pull over. 1107 00:54:02,983 --> 00:54:05,611 Your car seats are making me itchy, man. 1108 00:54:05,686 --> 00:54:08,678 What are these made out of? Cactus? 1109 00:54:13,093 --> 00:54:16,426 I'm only waiting seven minutes total. 1110 00:54:24,104 --> 00:54:24,798 Ohh! 1111 00:54:25,706 --> 00:54:27,071 Hey, wait your turn. 1112 00:54:27,141 --> 00:54:28,631 Hey, I didn't... 1113 00:54:29,510 --> 00:54:30,602 Whoa. 1114 00:54:30,911 --> 00:54:32,606 Freeze! 1115 00:54:32,846 --> 00:54:34,609 Wait a minute. 1116 00:54:36,817 --> 00:54:37,749 This is a raid! 1117 00:54:37,818 --> 00:54:39,683 No. No, no, no, I was peeing. 1118 00:54:39,753 --> 00:54:42,085 That's what I was doing. I was just peeing. 1119 00:54:42,156 --> 00:54:43,145 I was peeing, too! 1120 00:54:43,223 --> 00:54:46,056 Yeah, I'm sure you were all just pissing. Let's go. Let's move it out. 1121 00:54:46,126 --> 00:54:47,115 Let's go. 1122 00:54:49,129 --> 00:54:50,096 Come on. 1123 00:54:51,131 --> 00:54:54,259 Shit! Jimmy Shay, is that you? 1124 00:55:10,751 --> 00:55:11,775 Oh, my God. 1125 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:14,144 Ted? 1126 00:55:17,457 --> 00:55:19,891 If you'll just let me talk to you for one second 1127 00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,018 outside of the truck 1128 00:55:21,094 --> 00:55:22,994 Look, I still have to pee, all right? 1129 00:55:23,063 --> 00:55:24,997 Get in the truck! Let's go. Let's go. 1130 00:55:25,065 --> 00:55:25,997 Can I have a cup? 1131 00:55:26,066 --> 00:55:28,057 See, hon? I told you he was gay. 1132 00:55:28,135 --> 00:55:30,126 We'll be right back with more cops 1133 00:55:30,204 --> 00:55:32,729 live from the heartland. 1134 00:55:35,142 --> 00:55:37,201 A veces pienso que aquí 1135 00:55:37,744 --> 00:55:39,371 Todo es seguridad 1136 00:55:42,115 --> 00:55:43,980 Por la seca castidad 1137 00:55:46,386 --> 00:55:48,149 Lo de antes fue algo 1138 00:55:51,124 --> 00:55:52,421 Ahora es mejor 1139 00:55:53,994 --> 00:55:56,485 Oh, yeah, ahora es mejor... 1140 00:55:57,764 --> 00:56:02,064 - Your grandmother is really something. - Magda? No, Magda's not my grandmother. 1141 00:56:02,135 --> 00:56:06,094 She rents the apartment next door. Her husband died a couple years ago, 1142 00:56:06,173 --> 00:56:09,802 and I don't think she likes being alone. So, you know, she just hangs out. 1143 00:56:10,043 --> 00:56:13,444 - Doesn't cramp your style? - Sadly, no. 1144 00:56:13,513 --> 00:56:18,109 Sometimes I wish I could be like Magda and not go home. 1145 00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:23,622 I'd like to bounce around for a while and do some traveling. 1146 00:56:23,724 --> 00:56:26,750 I don't know why anybody would want to bounce around, 1147 00:56:26,827 --> 00:56:29,455 you know, if they have their own condo in Nepal. 1148 00:56:29,529 --> 00:56:31,394 I'd be there in a second. 1149 00:56:31,465 --> 00:56:32,523 I'd sell it. 1150 00:56:32,933 --> 00:56:33,900 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1151 00:56:33,967 --> 00:56:38,097 Start fresh in a new place, give up the architect game. 1152 00:56:38,171 --> 00:56:42,471 Slow things down a bit, read more books, see more movies. 1153 00:56:42,542 --> 00:56:44,271 Are you a movie buff? 1154 00:56:44,578 --> 00:56:48,241 I try to be, but it's tough going out there with all the crap they make today. 1155 00:56:48,348 --> 00:56:51,647 I just wish they made movies like they used to make. 1156 00:56:51,752 --> 00:56:53,947 You know, classics like The Karate Kid 1157 00:56:54,021 --> 00:56:55,352 or Harold and Maude. 1158 00:56:57,991 --> 00:57:00,824 Harold and Maude is my all-time favorite movie. 1159 00:57:00,894 --> 00:57:02,828 Don't bust my chops. I know it's corny, but... 1160 00:57:02,896 --> 00:57:04,523 Pat, I'm not kidding. 1161 00:57:04,598 --> 00:57:06,498 I think that Harold and Maude is one of the greatest 1162 00:57:06,566 --> 00:57:09,057 love stories of our time. 1163 00:57:12,272 --> 00:57:15,070 Here I thought I was the only one. 1164 00:57:15,409 --> 00:57:17,036 You're too good to be true. 1165 00:57:17,110 --> 00:57:18,441 Come on, let's go dance. 1166 00:57:18,512 --> 00:57:19,570 Ha ha ha! 1167 00:57:24,051 --> 00:57:28,988 Man, they never look like you'd expect, do they? 1168 00:57:29,056 --> 00:57:33,789 That's probably how he got his victim to drop his guard. 1169 00:57:33,860 --> 00:57:36,021 Where'd they find the body? 1170 00:57:36,096 --> 00:57:40,123 In a big red bag on the front passenger seat, 1171 00:57:40,467 --> 00:57:41,934 all hacked up. 1172 00:57:43,437 --> 00:57:44,461 Gruesome. 1173 00:57:45,806 --> 00:57:47,740 Real psycho, this one. 1174 00:57:49,309 --> 00:57:52,039 Hey, you're a little worked up. Let me do the talking. 1175 00:57:56,817 --> 00:57:58,808 I'm Detective Stabler. This is Krevoy. 1176 00:57:58,885 --> 00:58:02,184 Look, I didn't solicit any sex, OK? This is a huge misunderstanding. 1177 00:58:02,255 --> 00:58:05,053 I was really going out to pee. I'm walking in the bushes, 1178 00:58:05,125 --> 00:58:07,150 I trip over this guy and all of a sudden there's all these cops... 1179 00:58:07,227 --> 00:58:09,161 Ted, Ted, Ted, it's OK. 1180 00:58:10,097 --> 00:58:11,428 We believe you. 1181 00:58:14,501 --> 00:58:15,525 Oh. 1182 00:58:18,672 --> 00:58:20,333 The problem is, 1183 00:58:20,540 --> 00:58:23,475 we found your friend in the car. 1184 00:58:24,244 --> 00:58:25,973 Oh, the hitchhiker? 1185 00:58:26,513 --> 00:58:28,777 This is about the hitchhiker? 1186 00:58:28,849 --> 00:58:29,873 Oh. 1187 00:58:30,317 --> 00:58:31,341 Oh, great. 1188 00:58:32,052 --> 00:58:33,144 Just my luck. 1189 00:58:33,854 --> 00:58:36,118 I get caught for everything. 1190 00:58:36,189 --> 00:58:37,247 So... 1191 00:58:37,991 --> 00:58:39,322 You admit it? 1192 00:58:39,926 --> 00:58:42,394 Uh, yeah. Guilty as charged. 1193 00:58:43,196 --> 00:58:48,133 Look, I know you guys have ajob to do and I'm really sorry. I did it. 1194 00:58:48,201 --> 00:58:49,259 I admit it. 1195 00:58:49,569 --> 00:58:55,303 You know, the guy even told me, the hitchhiker told me it was illegal, so... 1196 00:58:55,375 --> 00:58:56,399 Well... 1197 00:58:57,511 --> 00:58:58,535 uh... 1198 00:58:59,546 --> 00:59:01,104 Can you tell us his name? 1199 00:59:02,382 --> 00:59:03,406 Uh... 1200 00:59:05,185 --> 00:59:07,085 No, I didn't catch it. 1201 00:59:07,154 --> 00:59:12,023 Can we cut to the chase? Am I in a lot of trouble here, or... 1202 00:59:12,592 --> 00:59:14,753 First, tell us why you did it. 1203 00:59:14,828 --> 00:59:16,352 Why I did it? Um... 1204 00:59:19,099 --> 00:59:21,158 I don't know. Boredom. 1205 00:59:22,569 --> 00:59:26,699 The guy turns out to be a blabbermouth, just would not shut up. 1206 00:59:26,773 --> 00:59:27,967 I mean, with the... just... 1207 00:59:28,041 --> 00:59:29,030 Ted, 1208 00:59:29,109 --> 00:59:32,101 this wasn't your first time, 1209 00:59:32,345 --> 00:59:33,312 was it? 1210 00:59:34,781 --> 00:59:35,839 No. 1211 00:59:36,316 --> 00:59:38,580 How many are we talking here? 1212 00:59:38,652 --> 00:59:39,482 Hitchhikers? 1213 00:59:41,395 --> 00:59:41,952 My whole life? 1214 00:59:42,029 --> 00:59:43,053 Um... 1215 00:59:43,831 --> 00:59:44,855 I don't know. 1216 00:59:44,932 --> 00:59:48,060 25, 50. I mean, who keeps track? 1217 00:59:48,869 --> 00:59:52,236 Hey, I know this is the Bible belt, but where I come from 1218 00:59:52,306 --> 00:59:54,035 this is not that big a deal. 1219 00:59:54,108 --> 00:59:56,042 You son of a bitch. 1220 00:59:56,911 --> 00:59:59,038 You're gonna fry. 1221 00:59:59,113 --> 01:00:00,137 Come here! 1222 01:00:04,285 --> 01:00:05,650 Take it easy! You OK? 1223 01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:07,085 What the hell is wrong with you? 1224 01:00:07,154 --> 01:00:08,018 You all right? 1225 01:00:08,089 --> 01:00:09,386 - Punk. - Jesus! 1226 01:00:30,211 --> 01:00:32,941 Your friend Tucker stopped by. 1227 01:00:33,948 --> 01:00:34,972 Really? 1228 01:00:36,283 --> 01:00:38,183 OK. What does it look like today? 1229 01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:42,188 It's fne. A little crazy in the afternoon. 1230 01:00:43,891 --> 01:00:44,823 Hey, Tucker. 1231 01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:47,427 Eh, what's up, Doc? 1232 01:00:48,996 --> 01:00:51,624 You look different. Did you do something with your hair? 1233 01:00:51,766 --> 01:00:55,133 The teeth. The teeth. I got them capped. 1234 01:00:55,202 --> 01:00:57,432 Oh, yeah? Hey, they look great. 1235 01:00:57,505 --> 01:01:01,464 - You don't think they look a little big? - No, not at all. The bigger the better. 1236 01:01:01,542 --> 01:01:03,339 But they could be a little brighter. 1237 01:01:03,411 --> 01:01:05,311 There's nothing more sexy to me 1238 01:01:05,379 --> 01:01:08,280 than a guy with a mouthful of big pearly whites. 1239 01:01:08,349 --> 01:01:09,247 Oh, really? 1240 01:01:09,316 --> 01:01:10,340 Come here. 1241 01:01:11,218 --> 01:01:13,277 You ever had one up the hatch in here. 1242 01:01:13,354 --> 01:01:14,514 Tucker, behave yourself. 1243 01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:15,555 I'll say. 1244 01:01:18,159 --> 01:01:20,184 What can I do for you today, my friend? 1245 01:01:20,261 --> 01:01:24,459 I wanted to talk to you about your friend Patrick. 1246 01:01:24,532 --> 01:01:26,659 - He's a nice guy, huh? - That's what I'm trying to fgure out. 1247 01:01:26,734 --> 01:01:29,134 How long have you known him? 1248 01:01:29,403 --> 01:01:31,530 Not very long, but I like him. 1249 01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:34,472 I know he's a little different, 1250 01:01:34,542 --> 01:01:35,873 but that's what I like about him. 1251 01:01:35,943 --> 01:01:38,673 He dresses like a complete dork. 1252 01:01:39,213 --> 01:01:41,681 He chews with his mouth open. 1253 01:01:41,849 --> 01:01:44,215 He hardly ever says the right thing, 1254 01:01:44,285 --> 01:01:46,879 and he probably farts, too. 1255 01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:49,286 That's what you're looking for, is it? 1256 01:01:49,356 --> 01:01:50,380 A farter? 1257 01:01:50,491 --> 01:01:52,652 No, I'm looking for a guy. 1258 01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:57,026 Look, something struck me as strange about him last night. 1259 01:01:57,097 --> 01:01:58,155 He... 1260 01:01:58,399 --> 01:02:00,560 He gave me this funny vibe. 1261 01:02:00,634 --> 01:02:03,102 Anyway, I called some friends up north, 1262 01:02:03,170 --> 01:02:06,970 and they've never heard of an architect named Patrick Healy. 1263 01:02:07,041 --> 01:02:09,839 He's not listed as a Harvard alumnus. 1264 01:02:09,910 --> 01:02:11,400 Fuck! 1265 01:02:12,513 --> 01:02:14,640 - That's strange. - Yes, I thought so. 1266 01:02:14,782 --> 01:02:18,240 Anyway, I hope you don't think I'm being meddlesome. 1267 01:02:18,319 --> 01:02:22,016 It's just that I think you should be careful with this guy, that's all. 1268 01:02:22,089 --> 01:02:26,253 I mean, let's face it, you're beautiful, and 1269 01:02:27,027 --> 01:02:29,587 and you've got money, and you trust people. 1270 01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:32,461 I'm just saying there's a lot of psychos out there. 1271 01:02:32,533 --> 01:02:34,000 Just be careful. 1272 01:02:34,068 --> 01:02:35,035 Fucker! 1273 01:02:35,102 --> 01:02:39,505 Look, Tucker, thank you. I really appreciate you looking out for me. 1274 01:02:40,207 --> 01:02:42,732 OK, listen, I'll call you, OK? 1275 01:02:43,811 --> 01:02:44,835 OK. 1276 01:02:48,816 --> 01:02:49,840 Oh, damn. 1277 01:02:56,423 --> 01:03:02,453 - You want me to get those for you? - No. I have to learn to do this myself. 1278 01:03:05,866 --> 01:03:06,924 Damn! 1279 01:03:09,503 --> 01:03:10,492 My leg. 1280 01:03:10,571 --> 01:03:12,061 Could you, Mary? 1281 01:03:13,574 --> 01:03:14,632 Thank you. 1282 01:03:16,377 --> 01:03:17,435 Wait. Wait. 1283 01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:20,702 There. 1284 01:03:29,757 --> 01:03:30,883 - See? - Yeah. 1285 01:03:30,991 --> 01:03:32,322 I knew I could do it. 1286 01:03:32,393 --> 01:03:33,655 Here, let me get the door. 1287 01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:34,751 Thank you. 1288 01:03:35,963 --> 01:03:37,191 - See you later. - Goodbye. 1289 01:03:37,264 --> 01:03:39,198 Jane, can you get the door for Tucker? 1290 01:03:40,301 --> 01:03:41,962 Do you want me to... 1291 01:03:42,403 --> 01:03:44,633 No. I've done this a thousand times. 1292 01:03:44,705 --> 01:03:45,729 OK. 1293 01:03:51,545 --> 01:03:58,417 Mr Stroehmann, on behalf of the South Carolina Law Enforcement Community, 1294 01:03:58,485 --> 01:04:03,684 I would like to apologize to you for any pain or temporary inconvenience 1295 01:04:03,924 --> 01:04:05,755 that you may have been caused. 1296 01:04:05,826 --> 01:04:06,884 Ohh. 1297 01:04:09,797 --> 01:04:12,027 At approximately 10.40 this morning, 1298 01:04:12,099 --> 01:04:15,500 a man was apprehended not far from where you were arrested. 1299 01:04:15,569 --> 01:04:18,265 He was identified as an escaped mental patient. 1300 01:04:18,339 --> 01:04:21,740 Subsequently, he confessed to the murder you're being held for. 1301 01:04:21,809 --> 01:04:24,642 Lab tests confirm a fingerprint match. 1302 01:04:24,712 --> 01:04:26,646 You mean I'm free to go? 1303 01:04:28,849 --> 01:04:30,339 No harm, no foul. 1304 01:04:33,053 --> 01:04:35,521 Oh, by the way, there's someone there to see you. 1305 01:04:40,227 --> 01:04:41,251 Shut up! 1306 01:04:48,569 --> 01:04:49,593 Phew! 1307 01:04:50,204 --> 01:04:52,672 You are a lucky son of a bitch, you know that? 1308 01:04:53,340 --> 01:04:54,364 I am? 1309 01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:55,832 Yeah. 1310 01:04:56,043 --> 01:04:57,305 Didn't they tell you? 1311 01:04:57,378 --> 01:05:01,610 That hitcher was about to cut your throat before you decided to take a piss. 1312 01:05:01,682 --> 01:05:03,877 Had a fucking horseshoe up your ass, my man. 1313 01:05:08,088 --> 01:05:11,421 You got that nervous hive thing again? 1314 01:05:11,558 --> 01:05:12,582 Yeah. 1315 01:05:12,960 --> 01:05:17,021 Yeah, I do, Ted, um, because I got some bad news. 1316 01:05:18,098 --> 01:05:19,156 Are you OK? 1317 01:05:23,604 --> 01:05:24,764 Ted, I'm dying. 1318 01:05:29,576 --> 01:05:30,600 Oh, my... 1319 01:05:32,613 --> 01:05:35,411 Ted, I'm not dying, man. Come on! 1320 01:05:36,850 --> 01:05:40,411 Jesus, it's just the humidity down here. 1321 01:05:40,888 --> 01:05:43,857 No, the bad news I got is about our friend Healy. 1322 01:05:43,924 --> 01:05:46,654 I sent my assistant down to his apartment with his last pay check. 1323 01:05:46,727 --> 01:05:48,922 The landlady said when he came back from Miami 1324 01:05:48,996 --> 01:05:53,057 he kept talking about falling for some doctor named Mary. 1325 01:05:53,133 --> 01:05:54,191 Mary? 1326 01:05:55,669 --> 01:05:56,601 My Mary? 1327 01:05:56,670 --> 01:05:57,694 Well... 1328 01:05:57,805 --> 01:06:01,332 Ted, here's Healy's address down there. 1329 01:06:01,875 --> 01:06:06,244 And in the future, do a little research before you send a guy like that out into the woods. 1330 01:06:06,313 --> 01:06:08,907 I mean, Jesus Christ, it's creepy, OK? 1331 01:06:10,551 --> 01:06:14,009 You're not seriously thinking about going out with this guy again? 1332 01:06:14,088 --> 01:06:15,953 Mary, honey, he's a psycho. 1333 01:06:16,023 --> 01:06:17,820 Mary, the guy's full of shit. 1334 01:06:17,891 --> 01:06:19,552 Jesus, this sucks. 1335 01:06:20,561 --> 01:06:23,291 It's too bad this had to happen. 1336 01:06:23,831 --> 01:06:25,765 He was almost perfect. 1337 01:06:26,133 --> 01:06:29,261 Mary, what did you say Pat's last name was? 1338 01:06:29,336 --> 01:06:30,394 Healy. 1339 01:06:30,471 --> 01:06:32,769 Come here, come here. Come on, you got to hear this. 1340 01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:33,864 What? 1341 01:06:33,974 --> 01:06:35,441 That's just the way us Healys were raised. 1342 01:06:35,509 --> 01:06:37,409 So, where the hell are you, Healy? 1343 01:06:37,478 --> 01:06:41,039 Ah, I got a date tonight with that Mary girl I told you about. 1344 01:06:41,115 --> 01:06:42,605 - The sawbones? - Yep. 1345 01:06:42,683 --> 01:06:46,380 - We hit the mother lode. - Should we be listening to this? 1346 01:06:46,453 --> 01:06:47,681 Shh, shh, shh! 1347 01:06:48,322 --> 01:06:50,415 Does she still think you're a fucking architect? 1348 01:06:50,491 --> 01:06:51,458 Oh, yeah. 1349 01:06:51,525 --> 01:06:53,186 Dumb shit. 1350 01:06:53,293 --> 01:06:54,385 Mr Perfect, huh? 1351 01:06:54,461 --> 01:06:56,326 Hey, watch your mouth. 1352 01:06:56,396 --> 01:06:58,455 She's a great gal, Mary. 1353 01:06:58,532 --> 01:07:00,295 I'm the dumb shit for lying to her. 1354 01:07:00,367 --> 01:07:03,632 Why didn't you just tell her the truth? 1355 01:07:03,704 --> 01:07:04,671 I don't know. 1356 01:07:04,738 --> 01:07:08,435 It seems that women today are more impressed by the almighty buck 1357 01:07:08,509 --> 01:07:14,470 than some schmo who's spent 17 years scraping by on peace corps wages. 1358 01:07:14,548 --> 01:07:15,913 If she's as special as you say, 1359 01:07:15,983 --> 01:07:18,850 she's going to want to hear about the things you did. 1360 01:07:18,919 --> 01:07:23,015 You could tell her about the irrigation ditches you dug in Sudan. 1361 01:07:23,090 --> 01:07:26,685 The orphan babies who cried in your arms in 1362 01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,749 Romania. 1363 01:07:27,828 --> 01:07:29,557 The hope 1364 01:07:29,630 --> 01:07:33,031 you gave Freddy the leper in Calcutta. 1365 01:07:33,100 --> 01:07:35,193 I'll be honest with you. I'm a selfish prick. 1366 01:07:35,936 --> 01:07:38,530 I get a high from helping all God's creatures. 1367 01:07:40,607 --> 01:07:43,872 An honest-to-goodness high. I did all those things for myself. 1368 01:07:43,944 --> 01:07:45,206 Hey, hey, hey. 1369 01:07:47,648 --> 01:07:48,910 That's, uh... 1370 01:07:50,584 --> 01:07:52,848 That's, uh... that's bullshit, man. 1371 01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:55,252 Hey. Hey, you were on the front line. 1372 01:07:55,322 --> 01:07:57,256 You remember? 1373 01:07:57,324 --> 01:08:03,285 The, um, malaria, the typhoon fever, that vicious strain of genital herpes? 1374 01:08:03,363 --> 01:08:04,387 - Ooh. - Ooh. 1375 01:08:04,965 --> 01:08:05,989 Fuck! 1376 01:08:09,436 --> 01:08:13,805 Yeah. I cured all sorts of horrible illnesses in Third World countries. 1377 01:08:13,874 --> 01:08:16,365 But the bottom line is, I'm not going to use my philanthropy 1378 01:08:16,443 --> 01:08:19,935 as some kind of currency, especially after what I did. 1379 01:08:20,047 --> 01:08:22,174 I lied to that poor girl. 1380 01:08:25,385 --> 01:08:26,409 Lied, man! 1381 01:08:26,753 --> 01:08:27,777 Well... 1382 01:08:28,689 --> 01:08:30,782 Love will make you do fucked-up things. 1383 01:08:30,858 --> 01:08:33,224 You said it, mister. 1384 01:08:33,293 --> 01:08:34,351 I got to run. 1385 01:08:35,696 --> 01:08:36,822 We're dicks. 1386 01:08:44,471 --> 01:08:46,098 It's him! It's him! 1387 01:08:48,075 --> 01:08:49,099 Mary. 1388 01:08:50,043 --> 01:08:51,067 Hello. 1389 01:08:52,112 --> 01:08:53,807 Um, Mary, look... 1390 01:08:55,883 --> 01:08:58,716 Look, there's something I have to tell you. 1391 01:08:58,785 --> 01:09:00,912 I'm not the architect... 1392 01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:06,491 Is she really going out with him? 1393 01:09:08,295 --> 01:09:09,353 OK, guys, let's huddle up. 1394 01:09:09,429 --> 01:09:10,726 Come on, Jimmy! 1395 01:09:10,864 --> 01:09:12,263 Jimmy, I'm open! Hit me! Come on! 1396 01:09:12,332 --> 01:09:15,267 Is she really going out with him? 1397 01:09:20,941 --> 01:09:23,671 Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! 1398 01:09:23,744 --> 01:09:24,676 Whoo! 1399 01:09:24,745 --> 01:09:26,645 Exceptional, my ass. 1400 01:09:31,018 --> 01:09:31,882 Aah! 1401 01:09:31,952 --> 01:09:33,010 Huh? 1402 01:09:36,723 --> 01:09:40,090 I wash my hair, and I kid myself I look really sweet 1403 01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:42,754 Looks like I double jumped you for the win. 1404 01:09:42,896 --> 01:09:44,261 Pay up, big guy. 1405 01:09:44,865 --> 01:09:46,332 Look over there 1406 01:09:47,134 --> 01:09:49,967 - Coconut. - Yeah, very good. Coconut. 1407 01:09:50,037 --> 01:09:51,061 Coconut. 1408 01:09:52,139 --> 01:09:53,299 Where's the rest of it, Warren? 1409 01:09:53,373 --> 01:09:55,170 They say that looks don't count for much 1410 01:09:55,275 --> 01:09:57,436 So there goes your proof 1411 01:10:02,049 --> 01:10:04,347 Is she really going out with him? 1412 01:10:06,053 --> 01:10:07,077 Look at her. 1413 01:10:07,387 --> 01:10:10,117 She's more beautiful than I remember. 1414 01:10:10,190 --> 01:10:11,521 She's perfect. 1415 01:10:12,859 --> 01:10:15,453 Thanks for picking up the lunch tab, Mar. 1416 01:10:15,529 --> 01:10:17,724 Sorry I forgot my wallet. I feel like a dog. 1417 01:10:17,798 --> 01:10:20,164 Don't worry about it. It was fun. 1418 01:10:25,872 --> 01:10:27,339 - Euch! - Fuck me. 1419 01:10:28,742 --> 01:10:29,766 Whoa. 1420 01:10:30,077 --> 01:10:31,669 How's my stomach taste? 1421 01:10:31,745 --> 01:10:34,612 Oh. How's my stomach taste, she says. 1422 01:10:34,681 --> 01:10:37,707 Holy shit, look. Look, there's Warren. 1423 01:10:37,784 --> 01:10:40,014 Franks and beans! 1424 01:10:40,087 --> 01:10:41,054 Frank and beans! 1425 01:10:41,121 --> 01:10:42,281 Warren, come on, you just ate. 1426 01:10:42,356 --> 01:10:45,348 Hey, leave him alone. He's just got a big appetite. Right, Warren? 1427 01:10:45,425 --> 01:10:46,414 Huh? 1428 01:10:46,493 --> 01:10:48,358 I said you got a big... 1429 01:10:50,497 --> 01:10:52,488 Warren, Warren, Warren, Warren! 1430 01:10:52,566 --> 01:10:53,999 Oh, yes. Uh-huh. 1431 01:10:54,701 --> 01:10:59,138 You can't touch his ears unless he trusts you. Are you OK? 1432 01:10:59,206 --> 01:11:01,140 Not to worry. 1433 01:11:01,208 --> 01:11:02,732 So I'll see you tonight, right? 1434 01:11:02,809 --> 01:11:03,833 Sure. 1435 01:11:07,781 --> 01:11:08,839 Here, Warren. 1436 01:11:08,915 --> 01:11:10,439 - You OK? - He broke it. 1437 01:11:10,517 --> 01:11:11,415 I saw. 1438 01:11:12,619 --> 01:11:14,587 OK. What are you waiting for? Let's go. 1439 01:11:14,654 --> 01:11:15,552 What? No. 1440 01:11:15,622 --> 01:11:17,146 I don't know what to say. 1441 01:11:17,224 --> 01:11:19,488 Just tell her the truth about Healy. 1442 01:11:19,559 --> 01:11:21,686 Blow the schmuck out of the water. Come on. 1443 01:11:21,762 --> 01:11:22,786 No, I can't. 1444 01:11:23,430 --> 01:11:26,194 I unleashed the psycho on her. She's going to be fucking pissed. 1445 01:11:27,801 --> 01:11:28,825 Mary! 1446 01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:34,864 Mary? 1447 01:11:37,244 --> 01:11:38,734 Mary? Is that... 1448 01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:40,938 It is you. 1449 01:11:41,381 --> 01:11:43,212 Who is that? 1450 01:11:43,884 --> 01:11:45,010 Hi. It's Ted. 1451 01:11:46,219 --> 01:11:47,243 Ted? 1452 01:11:48,255 --> 01:11:50,485 Yeah, Ted from Rhode Island. Ted. 1453 01:11:50,557 --> 01:11:52,149 Ted? Oh, my God. 1454 01:11:52,692 --> 01:11:53,624 Ted! 1455 01:11:53,693 --> 01:11:54,751 How are you? 1456 01:11:55,762 --> 01:11:57,696 - It's good to see you. - Good to see you, too. 1457 01:11:57,764 --> 01:11:58,822 How you been? 1458 01:11:58,899 --> 01:11:59,923 I'm... 1459 01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:02,594 I haven't seen you since... since... 1460 01:12:02,669 --> 01:12:04,637 Yeah. Since... since, um... 1461 01:12:04,704 --> 01:12:05,602 Senior prom. 1462 01:12:05,672 --> 01:12:07,572 That's right... senior prom. 1463 01:12:07,641 --> 01:12:10,007 I... you got a great memory. 1464 01:12:10,110 --> 01:12:11,873 Oh, man, that was... 1465 01:12:12,245 --> 01:12:13,405 I haven't thought about that in years. 1466 01:12:14,714 --> 01:12:15,772 So, um... 1467 01:12:15,982 --> 01:12:17,643 How's everything? 1468 01:12:18,885 --> 01:12:19,817 Everything, you know. 1469 01:12:19,886 --> 01:12:21,649 Oh, oh, that's fine. 1470 01:12:21,822 --> 01:12:24,552 You know, I was in and out of the hospital in a couple of weeks. 1471 01:12:24,624 --> 01:12:26,182 It was not a big deal at all. 1472 01:12:26,259 --> 01:12:27,191 Now I'm good. 1473 01:12:27,260 --> 01:12:28,818 Strong like bull. 1474 01:12:29,629 --> 01:12:30,596 Really good. 1475 01:12:30,664 --> 01:12:31,858 Hey, hi, Warren. 1476 01:12:31,932 --> 01:12:32,864 Hi, Ted. 1477 01:12:32,933 --> 01:12:35,868 - How are you? - I'm... how are you? 1478 01:12:37,037 --> 01:12:39,528 I can't believe that he remembers you. 1479 01:12:39,606 --> 01:12:40,595 Piggyback ride? 1480 01:12:40,674 --> 01:12:44,041 Oh, piggyback... no. I'll take a rain check this time, OK? 1481 01:12:44,111 --> 01:12:46,636 He never remembers anybody. It's amazing. 1482 01:12:47,914 --> 01:12:49,677 So, what are you doing here? 1483 01:12:49,749 --> 01:12:51,216 Do you work here? 1484 01:12:51,718 --> 01:12:53,777 This is my office. Well, it's up there. 1485 01:12:53,854 --> 01:12:57,085 I was just out on my lunch break with Warren. 1486 01:12:57,257 --> 01:13:00,818 - It's crazy. What are you doing here? - Well, that's a funny story. 1487 01:13:01,027 --> 01:13:03,086 I was... I decided to... 1488 01:13:03,463 --> 01:13:06,159 I got in the car with my friend, um 1489 01:13:06,233 --> 01:13:10,693 and we just, uh... we came down to Florida, right? 1490 01:13:13,673 --> 01:13:14,697 Right. 1491 01:13:16,109 --> 01:13:18,771 Well, you look great. You look really good. 1492 01:13:18,845 --> 01:13:20,403 I mean, what's the story? Are you married? 1493 01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:22,107 Do you have kids? What's the deal? 1494 01:13:22,182 --> 01:13:23,877 No. Dodged a few bullets. 1495 01:13:23,950 --> 01:13:24,974 Yeah? 1496 01:13:26,119 --> 01:13:28,587 God, this is just so... bizarre. 1497 01:13:28,655 --> 01:13:30,589 I mean, I'm standing here with Mary Jensen. 1498 01:13:30,657 --> 01:13:32,887 No, no. Now it's Mary Matthews. 1499 01:13:32,959 --> 01:13:34,187 Oh. Did you... 1500 01:13:34,294 --> 01:13:37,730 No, no. I haven't walked down that plank yet, no. 1501 01:13:37,797 --> 01:13:40,789 But, uh, it was this thing in college. 1502 01:13:40,867 --> 01:13:42,801 This creepy guy who... 1503 01:13:42,969 --> 01:13:44,732 Anyhow, there was a restraining order, 1504 01:13:44,804 --> 01:13:48,137 got kind of ugly, and after Princeton, I just decided 1505 01:13:48,208 --> 01:13:50,472 be cautious. Change your name. 1506 01:13:50,544 --> 01:13:52,102 Just kind of leave that behind. 1507 01:13:52,179 --> 01:13:55,615 Right. That sounds... that sounds horrible. 1508 01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:56,842 It was... yeah. 1509 01:13:56,917 --> 01:13:59,750 It was, but it's over, I think, so it's good. 1510 01:13:59,819 --> 01:14:01,081 Hey, what are you doing tonight? 1511 01:14:01,154 --> 01:14:04,851 Do you think maybe you want to maybe, I don't know, go out to dinner? 1512 01:14:04,925 --> 01:14:06,290 Catch up on old times. 1513 01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:08,327 Didn't we just do that? 1514 01:14:11,831 --> 01:14:14,129 I'm fucking with you, Ted. 1515 01:14:17,137 --> 01:14:23,975 No. Listen, I'd like to, it'd be great, but, I sort of already have plans tonight. 1516 01:14:24,044 --> 01:14:25,238 But I'm free tomorrow night. 1517 01:14:25,312 --> 01:14:26,939 Yeah, sure. Or, you know 1518 01:14:27,013 --> 01:14:30,278 or you could just blow off thatjerk you're going out with tonight 1519 01:14:30,350 --> 01:14:31,817 and come out with me. 1520 01:14:34,554 --> 01:14:36,419 What hotel are you staying at? 1521 01:14:36,523 --> 01:14:37,956 Uh, the Cardoza. 1522 01:14:41,161 --> 01:14:42,025 Pick you up at 8.00? 1523 01:14:42,229 --> 01:14:43,253 Sure. 1524 01:14:43,597 --> 01:14:44,359 - OK - OK. 1525 01:14:44,431 --> 01:14:45,523 Cool. See you. 1526 01:14:45,599 --> 01:14:46,623 Bye. 1527 01:14:47,267 --> 01:14:49,861 Look closely at this picture 1528 01:14:50,170 --> 01:14:52,331 Ted and Mary like before 1529 01:14:52,672 --> 01:14:55,232 Can you see her as Ted sees her 1530 01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:57,570 And why he couldn't wait no more? 1531 01:14:57,644 --> 01:15:00,078 And if you still think he's being silly 1532 01:15:00,146 --> 01:15:03,047 Then you've still got more to see 1533 01:15:03,216 --> 01:15:05,480 'Cause this isn'tjust a date, folks 1534 01:15:05,552 --> 01:15:07,179 This is chemistry 1535 01:15:07,654 --> 01:15:08,678 And Mary 1536 01:15:10,757 --> 01:15:14,352 Well, there's just somethin' about Mary 1537 01:15:23,903 --> 01:15:27,771 Banana! We're gonna be buyin'bananas tonight! 1538 01:15:29,075 --> 01:15:30,042 Ooh! 1539 01:15:30,110 --> 01:15:31,168 Why's that? 1540 01:15:31,378 --> 01:15:33,243 'Cause back when I was your age, 1541 01:15:33,313 --> 01:15:38,182 I always used to make myself a big banana split after sex. 1542 01:15:38,251 --> 01:15:39,843 I think you're gonna need one tonight. 1543 01:15:39,919 --> 01:15:42,217 Oh. Don't get ahead of yourself, Magda. 1544 01:15:42,289 --> 01:15:44,723 You'll probably be eating a banana split before I do. 1545 01:15:44,791 --> 01:15:46,088 Don't bet on it. 1546 01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:48,927 Last time I had a pap smear, 1547 01:15:48,995 --> 01:15:51,793 the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker. 1548 01:15:55,235 --> 01:15:58,261 I am a little psyched. 1549 01:15:58,338 --> 01:16:02,832 I ran into this guy I haven't seen since high school. 1550 01:16:02,942 --> 01:16:04,739 An old flame? 1551 01:16:04,811 --> 01:16:06,938 Kind of. Ted Stroehmann. 1552 01:16:07,681 --> 01:16:10,241 The sweetest guy in the world. 1553 01:16:10,717 --> 01:16:16,212 He was so cute. He was so clumsy and he had this huge mouth full of metal. 1554 01:16:16,289 --> 01:16:18,621 You know how I like braces. 1555 01:16:18,925 --> 01:16:21,189 Anyhow, we're going out tonight. 1556 01:16:21,261 --> 01:16:22,285 Oh, no! 1557 01:16:23,296 --> 01:16:26,663 Oh, God, that reminds me. I have to cancel what's-his-face. 1558 01:16:26,733 --> 01:16:28,223 What's-his-face? 1559 01:16:32,138 --> 01:16:33,162 Who is it? 1560 01:16:33,239 --> 01:16:34,331 It's Tucker. 1561 01:16:35,742 --> 01:16:36,674 Tucker. 1562 01:16:36,743 --> 01:16:39,007 - Hello, how are you? - Good. How are you? 1563 01:16:39,079 --> 01:16:40,205 I'm fine, thank you. 1564 01:16:40,280 --> 01:16:41,611 Oh, look who's here. 1565 01:16:41,681 --> 01:16:42,648 There she is. 1566 01:16:43,750 --> 01:16:46,378 I brought you a little thirst quencher, Mag. 1567 01:16:46,453 --> 01:16:47,784 Oh, aren't you sweet? 1568 01:16:47,854 --> 01:16:49,287 No, I'm not. I 1569 01:16:49,723 --> 01:16:52,191 just want to get you drunk so you'll pass out, 1570 01:16:52,258 --> 01:16:54,158 and I can give Mary a good rogering. 1571 01:16:55,295 --> 01:16:56,922 You want me to pour you one? 1572 01:16:56,996 --> 01:16:58,861 Uh, thanks, but I have to be going. 1573 01:16:58,932 --> 01:17:01,196 Unfortunately, this is not a social visit. 1574 01:17:01,267 --> 01:17:02,859 Really? What's up? 1575 01:17:02,936 --> 01:17:05,302 Well, I've got a little more news about your friend Healy. 1576 01:17:06,673 --> 01:17:08,834 Tucker, everything's OK. 1577 01:17:08,908 --> 01:17:11,172 He confessed everything. He told me he's not an architect. 1578 01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:14,445 You were right, but right now I'm actually running behind. 1579 01:17:14,514 --> 01:17:16,106 Mary, the man's a killer. 1580 01:17:16,182 --> 01:17:17,206 What? 1581 01:17:17,684 --> 01:17:21,085 Yes. I have a friend in the Boston police department. 1582 01:17:21,154 --> 01:17:25,147 He faxed me this morning. I'll just give you the highlights. 1583 01:17:25,225 --> 01:17:28,092 After a short stint as a petty thief, 1584 01:17:28,161 --> 01:17:33,565 Patrick R. Healy graduated to armed robbery by the age of 14. 1585 01:17:33,900 --> 01:17:36,960 At 16, he committed his first murder, 1586 01:17:37,036 --> 01:17:40,267 a pretty teacher's aide named Molly Pettygrove. 1587 01:17:40,340 --> 01:17:42,672 He was incarcerated until the age of 22, 1588 01:17:42,742 --> 01:17:45,108 when despite a grim psychological profile, 1589 01:17:45,178 --> 01:17:47,169 the state was forced to release him. 1590 01:17:47,247 --> 01:17:49,909 In his mid-20s and again in his early 30s, 1591 01:17:49,983 --> 01:17:53,783 he was suspected of homicides in the states of Utah and Washington. 1592 01:17:53,853 --> 01:17:57,846 Unfortunately, the bodies were so badly decomposed, 1593 01:17:57,924 --> 01:18:00,654 there wasn't enough evidence to hold him. And so on and so forth. 1594 01:18:01,861 --> 01:18:03,954 You guys, what am I gonna do? 1595 01:18:04,030 --> 01:18:05,998 I'm supposed to meet this guy in an hour. 1596 01:18:06,065 --> 01:18:09,967 Well, just calm down. Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry. 1597 01:18:10,937 --> 01:18:11,961 Tucker. 1598 01:18:13,139 --> 01:18:16,131 Why you two never hooked up is beyond me. 1599 01:18:16,209 --> 01:18:19,201 I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. 1600 01:18:19,279 --> 01:18:22,476 Yes, well, don't get all gooey on me now. 1601 01:18:22,549 --> 01:18:23,948 You're gonna give me a big head. 1602 01:18:24,017 --> 01:18:26,349 See, the important thing, Doctor, 1603 01:18:26,419 --> 01:18:28,910 is you have to distance yourself as much as possible 1604 01:18:28,988 --> 01:18:30,819 without pissing this psycho off. 1605 01:18:32,392 --> 01:18:33,416 OK. 1606 01:18:34,194 --> 01:18:37,288 I know what I got to do, I know what I got to do. 1607 01:18:37,363 --> 01:18:38,853 Where's the phone? 1608 01:18:52,078 --> 01:18:54,376 You're gonna pay, fucker. 1609 01:19:12,732 --> 01:19:14,256 I don't know, Dom. 1610 01:19:14,901 --> 01:19:17,836 I don't feel good. I feel nervous. I really feel nervous. 1611 01:19:19,005 --> 01:19:20,563 Oh, come on, relax. Relax. 1612 01:19:20,640 --> 01:19:22,130 Been to the cash machine? 1613 01:19:22,208 --> 01:19:23,072 Yeah. 1614 01:19:23,142 --> 01:19:24,404 - Car clean? - Uh-huh. 1615 01:19:24,477 --> 01:19:25,876 - Plenty of gas? - Uh-huh. 1616 01:19:25,945 --> 01:19:28,573 Mmm. Breath. How's your breath? 1617 01:19:28,648 --> 01:19:31,014 It's fine. I had some Altoids. 1618 01:19:31,084 --> 01:19:32,676 All right, I think you're all set. 1619 01:19:32,752 --> 01:19:35,687 So just go clean the pipes, and it's a go. 1620 01:19:35,755 --> 01:19:36,813 Huh? 1621 01:19:36,923 --> 01:19:39,187 You know, clean the pipes. 1622 01:19:39,259 --> 01:19:41,989 What do you mean, clean the pipes? 1623 01:19:42,061 --> 01:19:46,361 You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you? 1624 01:19:46,432 --> 01:19:50,562 Tell me you spank the monkey before any big date. 1625 01:19:51,738 --> 01:19:57,267 Oh, my God. He doesn't flog the dolphin before a big date. Are you crazy? 1626 01:19:57,343 --> 01:19:59,709 That's like going out there with a loaded gun. 1627 01:19:59,779 --> 01:20:02,475 Of course that's why you're nervous. 1628 01:20:02,549 --> 01:20:05,518 Oh, my dear friend, please sit. Please. 1629 01:20:05,585 --> 01:20:06,745 Uhh, look, um... 1630 01:20:07,987 --> 01:20:10,922 After you've had sex with a girl, 1631 01:20:10,990 --> 01:20:12,821 and you're lying in bed with her, 1632 01:20:12,892 --> 01:20:14,382 are you nervous? 1633 01:20:14,460 --> 01:20:15,427 No. 1634 01:20:15,495 --> 01:20:17,258 No, you're not. Why? 1635 01:20:17,864 --> 01:20:19,354 'Cause I'm tired. 1636 01:20:19,899 --> 01:20:20,923 Wrong! 1637 01:20:21,200 --> 01:20:24,397 It's 'cause you ain't got the baby batter on the brain any more. 1638 01:20:24,470 --> 01:20:27,735 Jesus, that stuff will fuck your head up. 1639 01:20:27,807 --> 01:20:28,865 Oh. Look... 1640 01:20:29,909 --> 01:20:32,878 The most honest moment in a man's life 1641 01:20:32,946 --> 01:20:34,743 are the few minutes after he's blown his load. 1642 01:20:34,814 --> 01:20:38,341 Now, that is a medical fact and the reason for it 1643 01:20:38,418 --> 01:20:40,648 is that you're no longer trying to get laid. 1644 01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:43,814 You're actually thinking like a girl 1645 01:20:43,890 --> 01:20:45,289 and girls love that. 1646 01:20:45,358 --> 01:20:46,382 Holy shit. 1647 01:20:47,927 --> 01:20:50,418 I've been going out with a loaded gun. 1648 01:20:50,496 --> 01:20:51,520 Ohh. 1649 01:20:51,831 --> 01:20:53,298 People get hurt that way. 1650 01:21:21,928 --> 01:21:23,486 Ohh! Whoa whoa whoa whoa! 1651 01:21:23,563 --> 01:21:25,121 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 1652 01:21:26,966 --> 01:21:29,560 Healy, how... how smashing to see you. 1653 01:21:29,636 --> 01:21:31,069 You're dead! You fuckup! 1654 01:21:31,137 --> 01:21:32,195 OK, take it easy. 1655 01:21:32,271 --> 01:21:36,332 Who the fuck do you think you are making that shit up about me? 1656 01:21:36,409 --> 01:21:38,468 It's that stalker, Ted. 1657 01:21:38,578 --> 01:21:40,876 He got ahold of you, didn't he? 1658 01:21:40,947 --> 01:21:43,313 You're working for him, aren't you, you little shit? 1659 01:21:43,383 --> 01:21:44,407 Who? 1660 01:21:52,158 --> 01:21:55,127 Either you come clean, or I'm gonna kick your fucking ass! 1661 01:21:55,194 --> 01:21:57,685 I love her, man! 1662 01:21:57,764 --> 01:21:58,822 What? 1663 01:21:59,065 --> 01:22:01,226 You heard me, God damn it. 1664 01:22:04,771 --> 01:22:06,238 I love Mary, man. 1665 01:22:08,908 --> 01:22:11,206 I'm a phony, just like you. 1666 01:22:13,312 --> 01:22:14,711 What do you mean? 1667 01:22:14,781 --> 01:22:17,181 I mean, I'm a fucking fraud. 1668 01:22:18,518 --> 01:22:21,612 I'm no architect. Don't be a putz, man. 1669 01:22:21,688 --> 01:22:25,988 Who's been to Santiago, Chile, twice in one year? 1670 01:22:26,926 --> 01:22:29,224 I've never even been in Jersey! 1671 01:22:29,295 --> 01:22:31,456 OK, OK. Just take it easy. 1672 01:22:31,731 --> 01:22:34,825 Wait a minute. You knew those people back at Harvard. 1673 01:22:34,901 --> 01:22:36,334 I knew shit, man. 1674 01:22:37,336 --> 01:22:40,635 The only thing I knew was that you were a fake, 1675 01:22:40,707 --> 01:22:42,470 and I made up everything else. 1676 01:22:42,542 --> 01:22:44,305 My real name's Norm. 1677 01:22:45,211 --> 01:22:47,338 I'm a pizza delivery boy. 1678 01:22:48,548 --> 01:22:49,606 Here. 1679 01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:51,509 Look. Here's my ID. 1680 01:22:59,025 --> 01:23:00,458 Fuck me. 1681 01:23:21,581 --> 01:23:23,071 Keep the change. 1682 01:23:56,783 --> 01:23:57,807 Yeah! 1683 01:24:06,092 --> 01:24:07,116 Oh. 1684 01:24:20,540 --> 01:24:21,632 Where the 1685 01:24:22,208 --> 01:24:23,641 hell did it go? 1686 01:24:25,812 --> 01:24:26,836 Uh, hang on. 1687 01:24:27,713 --> 01:24:28,975 Wait a second. 1688 01:24:46,199 --> 01:24:48,133 Hey. Hello. How you doing? 1689 01:24:48,201 --> 01:24:49,498 Good. How are you? 1690 01:24:49,569 --> 01:24:50,763 - Good. - Good. 1691 01:24:50,837 --> 01:24:53,635 You are looking very beautiful. 1692 01:24:53,873 --> 01:24:54,931 Thank you. 1693 01:24:56,342 --> 01:24:57,434 What is that? 1694 01:25:00,613 --> 01:25:01,841 On your ear. 1695 01:25:02,215 --> 01:25:03,239 Ear? 1696 01:25:03,816 --> 01:25:05,374 No, your left ear. 1697 01:25:05,785 --> 01:25:06,809 Is that... 1698 01:25:09,822 --> 01:25:11,050 Is that hair gel? 1699 01:25:13,492 --> 01:25:14,356 Yeah. 1700 01:25:14,427 --> 01:25:16,361 Great. I could use some. 1701 01:25:16,429 --> 01:25:18,761 No. You don't have to. You don't... 1702 01:25:18,831 --> 01:25:20,093 I just ran out. 1703 01:25:23,669 --> 01:25:25,603 How we doing over here? 1704 01:25:25,671 --> 01:25:26,365 OK. 1705 01:25:26,439 --> 01:25:27,337 Little more wine? 1706 01:25:27,406 --> 01:25:28,304 Sure. 1707 01:25:29,475 --> 01:25:31,773 So... so when you say, um 1708 01:25:31,844 --> 01:25:33,038 killer, you mean... 1709 01:25:33,112 --> 01:25:34,909 He's a murderer. Yeah. 1710 01:25:35,014 --> 01:25:36,641 Like an actual convicted murderer? 1711 01:25:36,716 --> 01:25:39,310 He killed people. I know. It's crazy. 1712 01:25:39,385 --> 01:25:41,444 And, uh, what? Did he ever go to jail? 1713 01:25:41,520 --> 01:25:42,509 Yeah. In Boston. 1714 01:25:42,588 --> 01:25:43,987 He spent I don't know how long, but... 1715 01:25:44,056 --> 01:25:45,216 And he just got out? 1716 01:25:45,291 --> 01:25:46,588 Well, it's obviously... the system sucks. 1717 01:25:46,659 --> 01:25:48,251 The guy's walking the streets. 1718 01:25:48,327 --> 01:25:49,191 I'm kissing him. 1719 01:25:49,262 --> 01:25:52,026 Right. But you didn't do anything 1720 01:25:52,098 --> 01:25:53,224 else, right? 1721 01:25:53,299 --> 01:25:54,323 What? 1722 01:25:54,400 --> 01:25:55,731 I mean, you didn't... 1723 01:25:57,837 --> 01:26:01,796 No. No, no, no. God, I couldn't live with myself. 1724 01:26:02,208 --> 01:26:04,540 I mean, I only went out with him a couple of times, 1725 01:26:04,610 --> 01:26:06,874 but, you know, it's like, just the thought of that... 1726 01:26:09,215 --> 01:26:11,445 I shouldn't be putting this all on you. 1727 01:26:11,517 --> 01:26:14,543 I'm sorry. We haven't seen each other in so long. 1728 01:26:14,620 --> 01:26:17,589 No. It's... it's just I feel really bad. 1729 01:26:17,657 --> 01:26:19,557 I'm tired of talking about stalkers. 1730 01:26:19,625 --> 01:26:20,649 Let's talk about you. 1731 01:26:22,662 --> 01:26:24,129 Are you OK? Yeah? 1732 01:26:25,131 --> 01:26:27,463 - Do you want some water? - No. I'm good. 1733 01:26:28,567 --> 01:26:30,501 Hey, Tracy, how are the twins? 1734 01:26:30,569 --> 01:26:31,501 Fuck you, Norm. 1735 01:26:31,570 --> 01:26:34,903 I like it when you talk dirty to me, man. 1736 01:26:35,741 --> 01:26:37,038 Here you go, big guy. 1737 01:26:37,109 --> 01:26:39,771 Come on. Cough it up, chompers. 1738 01:26:47,253 --> 01:26:49,778 How the hell did you meet Mary? 1739 01:26:50,189 --> 01:26:52,180 It was just dumb luck, really. 1740 01:26:52,258 --> 01:26:54,192 I delivered a pie to her one night, 1741 01:26:54,260 --> 01:26:57,923 and she answered the door in her nightgown and, whoa. 1742 01:26:57,997 --> 01:26:59,555 That was it for me. 1743 01:26:59,699 --> 01:27:01,132 I went home that night, shaved my beard 1744 01:27:01,200 --> 01:27:05,296 and a week later I'm laid out in her office with a broken back. 1745 01:27:05,371 --> 01:27:06,497 Broken back? 1746 01:27:07,006 --> 01:27:08,200 How'd you do that? 1747 01:27:08,274 --> 01:27:10,333 A friend. Baseball bat. 1748 01:27:10,576 --> 01:27:11,600 Ah. Touché. 1749 01:27:16,349 --> 01:27:18,214 Do you want another one? 1750 01:27:18,284 --> 01:27:19,581 Uh, sure. Yeah. 1751 01:27:20,753 --> 01:27:21,777 Hey, Docky. 1752 01:27:22,321 --> 01:27:24,414 Couple more nitrate-sicles, please. 1753 01:27:24,490 --> 01:27:25,821 Two corn dogs coming up. 1754 01:27:25,891 --> 01:27:29,418 I don't think that they have enough meats on sticks. 1755 01:27:29,495 --> 01:27:31,122 No, seriously. If you think about it, 1756 01:27:31,197 --> 01:27:32,721 they have plenty of sweets, right? 1757 01:27:32,798 --> 01:27:34,857 They have lollipops, they have fudgesicles. 1758 01:27:34,934 --> 01:27:36,367 They have popsicles, 1759 01:27:36,435 --> 01:27:38,665 but they don't have any other meat on sticks. 1760 01:27:38,738 --> 01:27:40,706 Yes, you don't see that many meats on sticks. 1761 01:27:40,773 --> 01:27:41,762 No, absolutely not. 1762 01:27:41,841 --> 01:27:43,365 You know what I'd like to see? 1763 01:27:43,442 --> 01:27:46,104 I'd like to see more meats in a cone. 1764 01:27:46,178 --> 01:27:47,941 You don't hardly ever see that. 1765 01:27:48,014 --> 01:27:51,142 That's an idea I think is waiting to pop. 1766 01:27:51,217 --> 01:27:55,779 Just like a nice, big, oversized waffle cone stuffed full of 1767 01:27:55,855 --> 01:27:57,550 chopped liver. 1768 01:27:57,623 --> 01:27:58,555 Exactly. 1769 01:27:58,624 --> 01:28:01,457 It's too bad you don't live here, Ted. 1770 01:28:01,527 --> 01:28:02,551 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1771 01:28:02,628 --> 01:28:04,596 We have a lot in common. 1772 01:28:05,564 --> 01:28:08,032 Well, you know, maybe, um... 1773 01:28:08,801 --> 01:28:10,359 Have you ever thought about, uh 1774 01:28:10,436 --> 01:28:12,461 maybe moving back up to Rhode Island? 1775 01:28:12,538 --> 01:28:16,668 I thought about it, but I got too much of a good thing going on here. 1776 01:28:16,742 --> 01:28:21,406 I got a great practice, like the people I work with, Warren. 1777 01:28:21,814 --> 01:28:26,683 Maybe you should just, like, move down here and marry me. 1778 01:28:30,623 --> 01:28:31,885 So you're a writer. 1779 01:28:31,957 --> 01:28:34,448 Yeah, well, I'm trying to be. 1780 01:28:34,860 --> 01:28:37,192 Well, the good thing about writing 1781 01:28:37,263 --> 01:28:38,958 is you can do it anywhere. 1782 01:28:39,031 --> 01:28:40,191 That's true. 1783 01:28:42,468 --> 01:28:43,696 How about you? 1784 01:28:43,969 --> 01:28:48,167 How did you manage to stay single all these years? 1785 01:28:48,240 --> 01:28:53,906 Well, I'm bisexual, so that's hard for a lot of guys to understand. 1786 01:28:55,314 --> 01:28:56,372 Well... 1787 01:28:56,449 --> 01:28:58,314 You gonna smoke that? 1788 01:29:00,886 --> 01:29:04,322 You know, I read somewhere that most women are 1789 01:29:04,390 --> 01:29:06,187 if you really ask them honestly, 1790 01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:07,725 have tendencies towards... 1791 01:29:07,793 --> 01:29:13,060 - I mean, everybody has a bit of... - Ted, I'm fucking with you. 1792 01:29:13,399 --> 01:29:14,423 Yeah. 1793 01:29:16,068 --> 01:29:18,263 Stalking motherfucker. 1794 01:29:19,238 --> 01:29:21,798 I know. It sickens me. 1795 01:29:23,242 --> 01:29:25,904 Actually, I did almost get married once. 1796 01:29:29,048 --> 01:29:30,413 What happened? 1797 01:29:31,050 --> 01:29:33,348 Well, he was a really great guy. 1798 01:29:34,487 --> 01:29:36,455 He lived up north, and, uh... 1799 01:29:36,522 --> 01:29:38,046 Come on, let's go. 1800 01:29:44,230 --> 01:29:45,458 Here you go. 1801 01:30:02,047 --> 01:30:03,981 Wait. How many is this? 1802 01:30:06,152 --> 01:30:07,449 - Four. - Four? 1803 01:30:08,154 --> 01:30:11,851 That seems like an awful of lot of speed to give one little pooch. 1804 01:30:11,924 --> 01:30:13,516 Are you sure it won't kill him? 1805 01:30:13,592 --> 01:30:15,116 I never said that. 1806 01:30:18,531 --> 01:30:19,498 There's a baby. 1807 01:30:25,905 --> 01:30:27,998 Ah, good, good, good, good. 1808 01:30:28,073 --> 01:30:29,097 So... 1809 01:30:30,075 --> 01:30:32,669 Then it was over. We really haven't spoken since. 1810 01:30:33,412 --> 01:30:37,109 Hmm. Wow. Sounds like he was almost perfect. 1811 01:30:37,183 --> 01:30:38,275 Hmm. 1812 01:30:38,751 --> 01:30:39,775 Almost. 1813 01:30:41,687 --> 01:30:45,714 Hey, you want to go upstairs and watch Sportscenter? 1814 01:30:45,791 --> 01:30:46,815 Uh... 1815 01:30:47,726 --> 01:30:50,752 You know, I think I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead. 1816 01:30:50,829 --> 01:30:53,559 You're not that far ahead, Ted. 1817 01:31:00,339 --> 01:31:01,363 Magda! 1818 01:31:03,108 --> 01:31:04,666 What are you doing? 1819 01:31:04,743 --> 01:31:07,211 Hi, hon. Just straightening up. 1820 01:31:11,984 --> 01:31:13,349 Put that down! 1821 01:31:13,419 --> 01:31:14,443 Whoa. 1822 01:31:15,754 --> 01:31:16,778 Magda! 1823 01:31:17,723 --> 01:31:18,883 Thanks, doll. 1824 01:31:18,958 --> 01:31:19,982 Whoa! 1825 01:31:22,228 --> 01:31:23,525 Magda. Magda. 1826 01:31:24,530 --> 01:31:26,464 Honey, where is Puffy? 1827 01:31:26,865 --> 01:31:29,561 Oh. He was being a pest, so I put him in the bathroom. 1828 01:31:29,635 --> 01:31:30,624 - Really? - Uh-huh. 1829 01:31:32,538 --> 01:31:33,562 Ted. 1830 01:31:34,873 --> 01:31:36,397 Can you do me a favor? 1831 01:31:36,475 --> 01:31:38,067 Would you mind letting the dog out of the bathroom? 1832 01:31:38,143 --> 01:31:40,543 'Cause I think I should have a talk with Magda here. 1833 01:31:40,613 --> 01:31:41,477 Sure, yeah. 1834 01:31:56,495 --> 01:31:57,553 Uh, Mary? 1835 01:31:57,763 --> 01:31:58,787 Huh? 1836 01:31:59,632 --> 01:32:01,623 What kind of dog is Puffy? 1837 01:32:01,700 --> 01:32:06,034 - Border terrier. - Border terrier. Like, uh, Benji. 1838 01:32:06,105 --> 01:32:07,094 Oh. 1839 01:32:15,481 --> 01:32:16,505 Hey. 1840 01:32:17,783 --> 01:32:18,807 Hey. 1841 01:32:19,418 --> 01:32:22,182 Are you the little guy making all that big noise? 1842 01:32:22,254 --> 01:32:23,243 Huh? Hmm? 1843 01:32:26,992 --> 01:32:28,016 Ohh! Ohh! 1844 01:32:29,261 --> 01:32:30,319 Oh, Ted! 1845 01:32:35,668 --> 01:32:36,134 Ohh! 1846 01:32:40,806 --> 01:32:41,864 Puffy, stop it! 1847 01:32:41,940 --> 01:32:42,998 No! 1848 01:32:43,676 --> 01:32:44,700 No! 1849 01:32:44,810 --> 01:32:46,675 Take a little bit of this! 1850 01:32:48,614 --> 01:32:50,479 Puffy! Puffy! 1851 01:32:57,623 --> 01:32:58,647 Puffy! 1852 01:33:08,567 --> 01:33:09,625 Oh, Ted! 1853 01:33:14,873 --> 01:33:15,897 Puffy. 1854 01:33:20,879 --> 01:33:21,937 - Puffy! - Puffy! 1855 01:33:23,082 --> 01:33:24,947 Puffy, Puffy! Puffy! 1856 01:33:25,084 --> 01:33:26,312 Puffy! Puffy! 1857 01:33:26,952 --> 01:33:28,180 Puffy! Puffy! 1858 01:33:38,263 --> 01:33:39,491 You want a grape? 1859 01:33:39,565 --> 01:33:40,793 A grape? Sure. 1860 01:33:42,668 --> 01:33:43,965 - Ready? - Yeah. 1861 01:33:44,470 --> 01:33:46,301 All net. All net. 1862 01:33:46,805 --> 01:33:48,397 We make a good team. 1863 01:34:18,737 --> 01:34:19,761 Oh, oh! 1864 01:34:20,005 --> 01:34:21,029 Closer? 1865 01:34:21,140 --> 01:34:22,732 It's all right. Get in closer. 1866 01:34:22,808 --> 01:34:23,775 That's good. That's good. 1867 01:34:23,842 --> 01:34:24,740 Don't be afraid. Get right in there. 1868 01:34:24,810 --> 01:34:26,937 A little bit more. A little bit more. 1869 01:34:27,012 --> 01:34:29,742 He'll be fine. Mary, you're overprotective. 1870 01:35:03,081 --> 01:35:05,049 No, no, no. We already got it. 1871 01:35:14,560 --> 01:35:15,788 Come on, come on. 1872 01:35:15,861 --> 01:35:17,089 Pow! Pow! Pow! 1873 01:35:17,429 --> 01:35:18,487 Pow! 1874 01:35:20,432 --> 01:35:21,797 Warren. Warren! 1875 01:35:22,868 --> 01:35:23,766 Warren! 1876 01:35:23,836 --> 01:35:24,860 Warren! 1877 01:35:27,706 --> 01:35:28,764 Warren! 1878 01:35:32,578 --> 01:35:32,839 Warren! 1879 01:35:32,911 --> 01:35:34,606 Warren! Come here! Stop! 1880 01:35:38,050 --> 01:35:39,278 I'm OK! I'm OK! 1881 01:35:40,519 --> 01:35:41,577 Hey! Hey! 1882 01:35:43,288 --> 01:35:46,519 It's his fault. He hit me with that stuff. 1883 01:35:46,592 --> 01:35:48,526 Whoo! Warren! Warren! 1884 01:35:48,727 --> 01:35:49,659 Stop! 1885 01:36:13,652 --> 01:36:14,619 Oh, God. 1886 01:36:14,686 --> 01:36:16,381 I didn't do it. 1887 01:36:16,455 --> 01:36:17,854 He got in the way. 1888 01:36:17,923 --> 01:36:19,083 I know, I know, I know. 1889 01:36:19,157 --> 01:36:20,647 Does anybody have any pliers? 1890 01:36:20,726 --> 01:36:22,887 Needle-nose otherwise? 1891 01:36:23,028 --> 01:36:24,495 Anything? 1892 01:36:32,938 --> 01:36:33,962 Hey. 1893 01:36:35,674 --> 01:36:38,165 Flowers are for you. Ball is for Warren. 1894 01:36:38,243 --> 01:36:40,905 Had a friend Fed-Ex it from Boston. 1895 01:36:40,979 --> 01:36:43,709 Signed by Tony... Conigliaro. 1896 01:36:43,982 --> 01:36:46,917 Did you hire Pat Healy to spy on me? 1897 01:36:49,688 --> 01:36:50,586 What? 1898 01:36:52,324 --> 01:36:54,724 What are you talking about? 1899 01:36:55,260 --> 01:36:57,558 I got an anonymous letter. 1900 01:36:58,997 --> 01:37:00,760 It's not true, right, Ted? 1901 01:37:04,570 --> 01:37:06,037 Well, it's... it's... 1902 01:37:06,104 --> 01:37:08,538 It's an interesting thing that happened. 1903 01:37:08,607 --> 01:37:09,665 I, um... 1904 01:37:11,343 --> 01:37:13,675 Yeah, it's true, but it's... it's not... 1905 01:37:13,745 --> 01:37:16,270 OK. Get out. 1906 01:37:16,615 --> 01:37:18,048 Mary, wait. First of all, 1907 01:37:18,116 --> 01:37:20,016 I didn't know that this guy was... 1908 01:37:20,085 --> 01:37:21,746 What? That he was a murderer? 1909 01:37:21,820 --> 01:37:25,085 Uh, that, yeah, and in addition to many other things. 1910 01:37:25,157 --> 01:37:26,624 I didn't know anything about the guy. 1911 01:37:26,692 --> 01:37:27,624 I hardly know him. 1912 01:37:27,693 --> 01:37:29,160 How could you do that, Ted? 1913 01:37:29,227 --> 01:37:31,627 How could you have some guy you don't even know spy on me? 1914 01:37:33,999 --> 01:37:36,297 What were you trying to do? 1915 01:37:38,003 --> 01:37:41,439 Trick me into feeling something for you? 1916 01:37:44,142 --> 01:37:45,439 No. I didn't... 1917 01:37:46,545 --> 01:37:48,308 I didn't want to trick you. 1918 01:37:49,982 --> 01:37:51,006 Just leave. 1919 01:37:52,050 --> 01:37:52,982 OK? 1920 01:37:54,386 --> 01:37:55,410 Mary... 1921 01:37:56,221 --> 01:37:57,119 Go. 1922 01:38:08,133 --> 01:38:11,728 I did it because I never stopped thinking about you. 1923 01:38:11,803 --> 01:38:14,772 And if I didn't find you, I knew that my life 1924 01:38:14,840 --> 01:38:16,967 would never, ever be good again. 1925 01:39:00,819 --> 01:39:01,808 Hey. 1926 01:39:03,121 --> 01:39:04,884 Healy! You in there? 1927 01:39:10,729 --> 01:39:11,787 Hello? 1928 01:39:21,273 --> 01:39:22,297 Eww. 1929 01:39:27,713 --> 01:39:30,409 And it was going along just fine until you showed up. 1930 01:39:34,419 --> 01:39:35,443 Holy shit! 1931 01:39:37,289 --> 01:39:39,689 This is a pretty nice place. 1932 01:39:40,258 --> 01:39:41,190 Heh. 1933 01:39:41,259 --> 01:39:43,955 Sully, what the fuck happened? 1934 01:39:44,362 --> 01:39:45,351 Hey, surprise! 1935 01:39:45,430 --> 01:39:47,660 Whoa, whoa! Hey, peace, man. 1936 01:39:47,733 --> 01:39:48,631 You fucked me, man! 1937 01:39:48,700 --> 01:39:49,826 Wait! Hey, come on! 1938 01:39:49,901 --> 01:39:50,993 Look... look, man... 1939 01:39:51,069 --> 01:39:52,661 Look, don't do anything rash now, buddy, hmm? 1940 01:39:52,738 --> 01:39:54,296 Who the fuck is this guy?! 1941 01:39:55,640 --> 01:39:57,870 Uh, that's Norm. He's a pizza boy. 1942 01:39:57,943 --> 01:39:59,570 He's in love with Mary, too. 1943 01:39:59,644 --> 01:40:01,305 Look, come on, man. 1944 01:40:01,513 --> 01:40:05,643 All right... look, I think everybody could use a drink right now, hmm? 1945 01:40:05,717 --> 01:40:07,207 I don't want a drink! 1946 01:40:07,285 --> 01:40:08,274 Fuck you! 1947 01:40:08,353 --> 01:40:10,446 Whoa, hey, hey, look... 1948 01:40:11,089 --> 01:40:13,853 You asked me to follow around your girl and I did. 1949 01:40:13,925 --> 01:40:18,089 And then the truth is, I... I started to like her. 1950 01:40:19,531 --> 01:40:23,865 And that's when I realized I couldn't in good conscience bring myself to do it. 1951 01:40:25,103 --> 01:40:26,297 Do what? 1952 01:40:26,371 --> 01:40:29,738 Turn her over to a violent... stalker. 1953 01:40:29,941 --> 01:40:31,306 Oh, I'm a stalker. 1954 01:40:31,610 --> 01:40:33,475 You're calling me a violent stalker? 1955 01:40:33,545 --> 01:40:34,671 Oh, yeah. Sure. 1956 01:40:34,746 --> 01:40:36,373 You're a sick fuck. 1957 01:40:38,383 --> 01:40:39,350 Hey, fuck you. 1958 01:40:39,417 --> 01:40:40,475 Fuck you! 1959 01:40:40,552 --> 01:40:42,520 You just can't take the fact that it was my turn! 1960 01:40:42,587 --> 01:40:43,611 Your turn? 1961 01:40:43,688 --> 01:40:45,713 Yeah, that's right. My turn. 1962 01:40:45,791 --> 01:40:48,919 Why can't I ever get a girl like Mary? 1963 01:40:49,761 --> 01:40:51,160 Yeah, well, just 'cause you didn't get her, 1964 01:40:51,229 --> 01:40:53,527 you didn't have to blow us both out of the water. 1965 01:40:53,598 --> 01:40:55,498 What are you talkin' about? 1966 01:40:55,567 --> 01:40:58,434 You're gonna tell me you didn't write her an anonymous letter 1967 01:40:58,503 --> 01:41:01,233 telling her about our whole deal together? 1968 01:41:01,306 --> 01:41:02,398 What letter? 1969 01:41:04,509 --> 01:41:05,533 Come on. 1970 01:41:07,712 --> 01:41:08,770 It was you. 1971 01:41:12,117 --> 01:41:13,846 You sent the letter. 1972 01:41:14,519 --> 01:41:15,543 It was you! 1973 01:41:16,555 --> 01:41:18,819 We had a deal. You said you wouldn't fuck me 1974 01:41:19,391 --> 01:41:20,517 and I wouldn't fuck you until 1975 01:41:20,592 --> 01:41:23,993 we got this fuck outta the fuckin' picture. 1976 01:41:24,062 --> 01:41:26,087 You crossed the line, man! 1977 01:41:26,164 --> 01:41:27,153 Whoa, whoa, whoa, man! 1978 01:41:27,232 --> 01:41:29,200 You're gettin' crazy, now. 1979 01:41:29,267 --> 01:41:30,894 Why would I cross the line? 1980 01:41:30,969 --> 01:41:33,733 Y-you probably did it yourself, you piece of shit. 1981 01:41:34,472 --> 01:41:36,167 Oh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. 1982 01:41:36,241 --> 01:41:37,970 Why would I rat myself out? 1983 01:41:38,043 --> 01:41:40,568 Like I'm gonna try to figure out some guy 1984 01:41:40,645 --> 01:41:43,808 whose idea of courtin' is blowin' farts in her face. 1985 01:41:43,882 --> 01:41:46,350 - You were followin' us. - Don't flatter yourself. 1986 01:41:46,418 --> 01:41:48,579 I-I-I was following her! 1987 01:41:50,989 --> 01:41:52,013 I always do. 1988 01:41:53,558 --> 01:41:56,823 How the hell do you think I got rid of the last guy... Brett? 1989 01:41:56,895 --> 01:41:58,556 Br... wait. Brett? 1990 01:41:58,864 --> 01:42:03,324 Are you sayin' that Brett didn't say those things about Warren? 1991 01:42:03,401 --> 01:42:05,164 Are you shittin' me? 1992 01:42:05,871 --> 01:42:07,600 Mr Goody Two-Shoes? 1993 01:42:08,273 --> 01:42:11,208 He was like an eagle scout! 1994 01:42:11,276 --> 01:42:12,504 Wait a minute! 1995 01:42:12,711 --> 01:42:15,179 You two should be kissin' my fuckin' hairy beanbag, 1996 01:42:15,247 --> 01:42:18,648 'cause if it wasn't for me, she might have married that schmuck! 1997 01:42:21,119 --> 01:42:22,177 I feel sick. 1998 01:42:23,221 --> 01:42:25,189 Both of you are just... 1999 01:42:26,424 --> 01:42:27,721 I'm outta here. 2000 01:42:48,713 --> 01:42:49,737 Woogie? 2001 01:42:50,048 --> 01:42:52,016 Who the hell is Woogie? 2002 01:42:55,854 --> 01:42:56,878 Hello. 2003 01:42:58,857 --> 01:43:00,848 What are... what are you doing here? 2004 01:43:00,926 --> 01:43:03,224 Did you get my letter, Mar? 2005 01:43:04,162 --> 01:43:05,356 The one about Ted? 2006 01:43:07,232 --> 01:43:08,460 Y-you sent that? 2007 01:43:08,533 --> 01:43:09,557 Mm-hmm. 2008 01:43:11,503 --> 01:43:13,562 I was worried about you. 2009 01:43:14,940 --> 01:43:19,070 Woogie, you know you're not supposed to be within 400 yards of me. 2010 01:43:19,144 --> 01:43:20,577 Oh, I know. I do, in fact. 2011 01:43:20,645 --> 01:43:23,910 That's... that's what I really wanted to talk to you about. 2012 01:43:23,982 --> 01:43:27,645 You know that I have actually been through 2013 01:43:27,719 --> 01:43:32,918 nine years of intensive psychotherapy and you know something? 2014 01:43:32,991 --> 01:43:34,458 You were absolutely right. 2015 01:43:34,526 --> 01:43:35,390 I needed help. 2016 01:43:35,460 --> 01:43:36,984 That's great, Woogie. 2017 01:43:37,062 --> 01:43:40,259 I mean, I'm glad you're doing better. 2018 01:43:40,365 --> 01:43:42,060 You... you look... 2019 01:43:42,534 --> 01:43:43,762 You look good. 2020 01:43:44,336 --> 01:43:45,360 Thank you. 2021 01:43:45,503 --> 01:43:48,870 Except for the rash thing's still there, right? 2022 01:43:48,940 --> 01:43:50,908 Yes. You noticed, huh? 2023 01:43:51,476 --> 01:43:53,603 These are called love blisters. 2024 01:43:53,678 --> 01:43:55,942 They went away for a little while, 2025 01:43:56,014 --> 01:43:59,211 but then you came back in my life, milady, huh? 2026 01:44:00,485 --> 01:44:04,615 Woogie... I did not come back into your life, OK? 2027 01:44:05,490 --> 01:44:07,481 I don't even know how you found me. 2028 01:44:07,559 --> 01:44:11,461 Let's not forget here, you put me through a lot of bullshit, OK? 2029 01:44:11,529 --> 01:44:14,623 I had to change my name. I had to go to court. 2030 01:44:14,699 --> 01:44:15,631 I moved! 2031 01:44:15,700 --> 01:44:18,362 I mean, you stole all of my shoes! 2032 01:44:18,436 --> 01:44:19,368 What?! 2033 01:44:19,437 --> 01:44:21,962 What are you talking about?! 2034 01:44:22,374 --> 01:44:24,706 Woogie, I caught you red-handed! 2035 01:44:24,776 --> 01:44:27,711 I was in a weird place then, Mary. 2036 01:44:28,780 --> 01:44:30,338 Come on. 2037 01:44:30,715 --> 01:44:34,549 OK? Come on. Gimme... gimme a break here, OK? 2038 01:44:34,853 --> 01:44:36,946 I was a little... a little nuts, a little... 2039 01:44:37,022 --> 01:44:39,115 But I'm fine. 2040 01:44:39,391 --> 01:44:40,415 Woogie, 2041 01:44:40,792 --> 01:44:43,989 you're starting to make me a little nervous. 2042 01:44:44,062 --> 01:44:46,656 Ooh! I'm making you feel nervous. 2043 01:44:46,731 --> 01:44:48,164 Nervous... what's that? 2044 01:44:48,233 --> 01:44:51,293 I don't know anything about nervous. Ehhh! Jeez. 2045 01:44:51,369 --> 01:44:54,532 You ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary? Hmm? 2046 01:44:54,606 --> 01:44:57,404 Woogie, I'm asking you to leave. 2047 01:44:57,575 --> 01:44:58,371 No, Mary... 2048 01:44:59,077 --> 01:45:01,136 No, Mary, you got this all wrong. 2049 01:45:01,212 --> 01:45:04,010 I'm not going anywhere. Mm-mmm. 2050 01:45:05,283 --> 01:45:08,377 Until I get something to remember you by. 2051 01:45:17,128 --> 01:45:18,891 Stop it! Stop! 2052 01:45:19,297 --> 01:45:23,131 Just one pair! You owe me that, you heartless bitch! 2053 01:45:23,201 --> 01:45:25,567 Huh? Whoa! What the... hey! 2054 01:45:30,375 --> 01:45:31,399 Oh... 2055 01:45:32,377 --> 01:45:33,366 Dom? 2056 01:45:33,445 --> 01:45:35,003 You're pathetic. 2057 01:45:35,880 --> 01:45:39,646 Tucker... what happened to your crutches? 2058 01:45:40,251 --> 01:45:42,776 Uh, well, uh, yeah... 2059 01:45:42,854 --> 01:45:45,049 That's a very good query, Mary. Well done. 2060 01:45:45,123 --> 01:45:47,648 Come on! Tell her the truth, pizza boy. 2061 01:45:51,396 --> 01:45:53,557 Name's Norm. 2062 01:45:53,631 --> 01:45:56,930 I live with my folks up in Pompano. Hey. 2063 01:45:58,937 --> 01:46:02,839 Oh, man! This is like group therapy or somethin'! 2064 01:46:02,907 --> 01:46:04,898 Dom! What are you doin' here? 2065 01:46:05,009 --> 01:46:08,706 You stole her from me and now I want her back. 2066 01:46:08,847 --> 01:46:11,839 I stole her from you? What are you... what are you talkin' about? 2067 01:46:11,916 --> 01:46:13,008 Mm-hmm. 2068 01:46:13,651 --> 01:46:15,983 Woogie! How many times did I tell you this at Princeton? 2069 01:46:16,054 --> 01:46:17,078 Woogie? 2070 01:46:17,322 --> 01:46:19,222 Ted and I had one date. 2071 01:46:19,824 --> 01:46:21,382 You and I were already broken up! 2072 01:46:21,459 --> 01:46:22,448 You're Woogie? 2073 01:46:22,527 --> 01:46:24,461 Dom Wooganowski. 2074 01:46:27,165 --> 01:46:28,826 But... you're married. 2075 01:46:28,900 --> 01:46:30,925 You have a wife, beautiful kids. 2076 01:46:31,035 --> 01:46:34,766 Ted, if you love 'em so much, please, be my guest. 2077 01:46:34,839 --> 01:46:37,205 All right, what the hell is going on in here? 2078 01:46:37,275 --> 01:46:39,436 Can someone explain it to me? 2079 01:46:39,511 --> 01:46:43,538 Um, look, we're... we're all in love with Mary. 2080 01:46:44,115 --> 01:46:45,139 Oh, God. 2081 01:46:46,684 --> 01:46:48,948 If I may, I have a proposal. 2082 01:46:50,555 --> 01:46:53,547 I say none of us leaves this room 2083 01:46:53,958 --> 01:46:57,325 till our young Mary here stops jerkin' us around 2084 01:46:57,395 --> 01:46:59,829 and decides, once and for all, 2085 01:46:59,898 --> 01:47:01,456 who she really wants. 2086 01:47:03,568 --> 01:47:06,503 Now, Mary, I know this is tough 2087 01:47:07,071 --> 01:47:10,404 but you really will be doing them all a great favor 2088 01:47:10,475 --> 01:47:12,340 to tell them the truth about us. 2089 01:47:12,410 --> 01:47:13,536 Are you crazy? 2090 01:47:13,611 --> 01:47:15,806 What makes you think I would pick you, anyhow? 2091 01:47:15,880 --> 01:47:16,938 You're a murderer! 2092 01:47:18,383 --> 01:47:19,407 Uh... 2093 01:47:20,485 --> 01:47:23,113 Well, I, uh, I may have been blowin' 2094 01:47:23,188 --> 01:47:26,885 a little smoke up your ass there, Mary. Sorry. 2095 01:47:26,958 --> 01:47:27,925 Whoa! Whoa-ho! 2096 01:47:29,594 --> 01:47:30,720 Whoa-ho-ho! 2097 01:47:31,296 --> 01:47:32,320 Touchdown! 2098 01:47:32,764 --> 01:47:33,788 Hi, Mary. 2099 01:47:34,232 --> 01:47:35,164 Brett? 2100 01:47:35,233 --> 01:47:38,168 What the hell is Brett Favre doing here? 2101 01:47:38,236 --> 01:47:40,466 I'm in town to play the Dolphins, you dumbass. 2102 01:47:40,538 --> 01:47:42,130 Yeah, I called him, Mary. 2103 01:47:42,207 --> 01:47:44,505 I told him to pick up Warren and get down here. 2104 01:47:44,642 --> 01:47:46,974 See, your friend Tucker was lying about a couple of other things. 2105 01:47:48,780 --> 01:47:51,180 Brett never said those bad things about Warren. 2106 01:47:51,249 --> 01:47:52,716 He loves Warren. 2107 01:47:52,784 --> 01:47:55,446 And from what he told me on the phone just now, 2108 01:47:55,520 --> 01:47:57,249 he loves you, too. 2109 01:47:57,755 --> 01:47:59,188 He's the guy you should be with. 2110 01:47:59,257 --> 01:48:00,519 God. 2111 01:48:03,828 --> 01:48:05,295 That's right, Mary. 2112 01:48:05,363 --> 01:48:07,388 You know I'll always be true to you. 2113 01:48:07,465 --> 01:48:10,400 Oh, shit! This isn't fair. Jesus! 2114 01:48:11,236 --> 01:48:13,796 You know, I feel like an idiot. 2115 01:48:14,005 --> 01:48:16,940 See, I realized somethin' today. 2116 01:48:17,275 --> 01:48:19,368 I'm no better than any of these guys. 2117 01:48:19,444 --> 01:48:22,641 I mean, none of them love you, really. 2118 01:48:23,348 --> 01:48:25,282 They're just... they're just 2119 01:48:25,350 --> 01:48:27,113 fixated on you, because of how 2120 01:48:27,185 --> 01:48:28,584 you make them feel about themselves. 2121 01:48:28,653 --> 01:48:30,553 I mean, that's not real love. 2122 01:48:30,622 --> 01:48:32,283 That's... 2123 01:48:32,657 --> 01:48:34,215 I don't know what that is. 2124 01:48:35,226 --> 01:48:38,218 Please! Mary, don't listen to him! 2125 01:48:38,663 --> 01:48:41,962 This is just another one of his stupid little ploys. 2126 01:48:42,033 --> 01:48:44,433 You know, Stroehmann, you are so full of shit! 2127 01:48:44,502 --> 01:48:46,561 Yeah, you're the biggest stalker of us all, man! 2128 01:48:46,638 --> 01:48:48,299 You're gonna stand here and tell me 2129 01:48:48,373 --> 01:48:49,863 that you're not nuts about this girl? 2130 01:48:51,209 --> 01:48:53,200 Yeah, that's what I'm tellin' you. 2131 01:48:53,278 --> 01:48:54,302 Oh! 2132 01:48:56,447 --> 01:48:58,415 Hey, good luck, Brett. 2133 01:48:58,716 --> 01:48:59,944 Yeah. Thank you. 2134 01:49:00,018 --> 01:49:03,010 She's a great gal. Take care of her. 2135 01:49:03,521 --> 01:49:05,386 I'll, uh, see you, Mary. 2136 01:49:06,991 --> 01:49:08,015 Bye, Ted. 2137 01:49:11,262 --> 01:49:13,526 Hey, Warren, see ya later. 2138 01:49:13,665 --> 01:49:15,223 OK. Goodbye, Ted. 2139 01:49:17,268 --> 01:49:18,895 Goodbye. 2140 01:49:20,038 --> 01:49:22,438 God. Mary, I've missed you. 2141 01:49:22,640 --> 01:49:23,834 Hey, uh, Brett. 2142 01:49:23,908 --> 01:49:25,102 What are the chances I could get you 2143 01:49:25,209 --> 01:49:27,234 to give me a little autograph on this pump here, huh? 2144 01:49:27,312 --> 01:49:28,870 Somethin' nice for the wife and kids. 2145 01:49:28,946 --> 01:49:29,878 What?! 2146 01:49:29,947 --> 01:49:31,847 Ah, shut up. Cock tease. 2147 01:49:58,309 --> 01:50:01,836 Well, she's back with her old boyfriend 2148 01:50:02,880 --> 01:50:04,939 He don't challenge her 2149 01:50:05,316 --> 01:50:07,284 He don't contend with her 2150 01:50:07,352 --> 01:50:10,753 And she don't answer the cards you send 2151 01:50:11,856 --> 01:50:14,120 And you're jealous of the time 2152 01:50:14,192 --> 01:50:15,853 That he spend with her 2153 01:50:15,927 --> 01:50:18,862 Just let her go into the darkness 2154 01:50:20,732 --> 01:50:23,929 Let her live for all the things there 2155 01:50:25,303 --> 01:50:27,771 Let her go into the darkness 2156 01:50:29,707 --> 01:50:32,505 Let her go, let her go, let her go 2157 01:50:57,235 --> 01:50:58,293 Ted! 2158 01:51:00,738 --> 01:51:01,762 Mary? 2159 01:51:04,342 --> 01:51:05,366 Ted! 2160 01:51:06,844 --> 01:51:07,902 Mary! 2161 01:51:10,982 --> 01:51:12,006 Ted! 2162 01:51:16,421 --> 01:51:18,150 You forgot your keys. 2163 01:51:31,469 --> 01:51:34,063 Did you really mean what you said up there? 2164 01:51:35,273 --> 01:51:36,331 Uh-huh. 2165 01:51:37,775 --> 01:51:40,039 I just want you to be happy, Mary. 2166 01:51:44,015 --> 01:51:46,279 But I'd be happiest with you. 2167 01:51:50,288 --> 01:51:52,381 You're fuckin' with me, right? 2168 01:51:54,592 --> 01:51:55,456 What... 2169 01:51:56,794 --> 01:51:58,022 What about... 2170 01:51:58,763 --> 01:52:00,424 Brett Fav... re? 2171 01:52:03,501 --> 01:52:06,493 What did I tell you the first time we met? 2172 01:52:06,571 --> 01:52:08,471 I'm a niners fan. 2173 01:52:09,907 --> 01:52:10,965 Heh. 2174 01:52:21,118 --> 01:52:24,053 His friends would say stop whinin' 2175 01:52:24,121 --> 01:52:26,521 They've had enough of that 2176 01:52:26,691 --> 01:52:29,558 His friends would say stop pinin' 2177 01:52:29,627 --> 01:52:32,061 There's other girls to look at 2178 01:52:32,129 --> 01:52:34,529 They've tried to set him up 2179 01:52:35,199 --> 01:52:37,360 With Tiffany and Indigo 2180 01:52:37,435 --> 01:52:40,427 But there's somethin' about Mary 2181 01:52:40,905 --> 01:52:42,930 That they don't know... 2182 01:52:43,007 --> 01:52:44,668 What are you doing? 2183 01:52:44,809 --> 01:52:46,538 That's my girl he's kissin'. 2184 01:52:46,611 --> 01:52:48,340 But you just slept with me! 2185 01:52:48,412 --> 01:52:50,903 I was only bonin' you to get to Mary. 2186 01:53:02,593 --> 01:53:04,060 And a one... 2, 3, 4 2187 01:53:04,128 --> 01:53:05,152 5, 6, 7, 8! 152258

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