Original subtitles

The Yugoslav People's Army was formed during

World War II by a communist leader Josip Broz Tito.

For 50 years, this army symbolised the unity

of multi-ethnic Yugoslavia.

All men aged between 18 and 27 had to serve

at least a year in one of its multi-ethnic units.

Featuring

In a Rajko Grlic film

BORDER POST

Hey, I'm an honest girl...

I know, no need to explain.

You can spot it from a mile away.

If you don't show up tonight, I'll send the MPs after you.

Yes, ma'am! Wow!

My only one, I love you so...

Thus ended yet another traditional encounter

between Youth and the Army, to mutual satisfaction.

Gimme a smoke.

C'mon, I can't count on you for absolutely anything.

What kind of a pal are you?

Where's your girl? Gone?

Instead of taking her to bed and giving her a teddy bear

before bedtime, you let her go. How does that look?

Do you know what the primary task

of each soldier in the Army is?

The peaceful sleep of the civilian population.

Lake Ohrid, 1987 The Yugoslav-Albanian border

Doc, I'm not at all satisfied with your dedication to duty.

You've got potential, but you're just plain lazy.

Come tomorrow you'll be a gynaecologist,

a cunt-meister, you need to practice 24/7.

She's right in front of you with cock in her eyes,

but you do nothing. - She didn't have cock in her eyes.

Yes, doc, she did.

I saw it, but man, you have to work the girl a bit,

give her the talk, and bullshit her.

Ask her 'bout her family, or her favourite book.

You know what my favourite book is? The Little Prince.

You can't imagine how much pussy I got

on account of that book. A beautiful book.

Wow! Teddy bears! And you say nothing.

A gentleman never tells.

Pasic. - No, it isn't.

Yes, it is. Listen.

Really. Motherfucker.

He's early today. Last one eats shit!

Paunovic, the young hope of Belgrade athletics holds

a huge advantage over the once legendary Siriscevic

from Split. Paunovic is in top shape

and we can see he will go on to win the race.

Like hell he will! - And what is Siriscevic doing now?

Did the Olympic Committee see this? - You fuck! - Hurdles.

After an unfair move bound to be sanctioned by the IOC,

Siriscevic takes an insignificant lead again,

but we hope justice...

Fucking hell! - C'mon. - And the boot? - Fuck it.

Attention! Salute to the right!

Comrade Lieutenant, all present and accounted for.

Paunovic, why aren't you wearing your boots?

Being washed, comrade lieutenant.

You've taken your boots to be washed?

No, comrade lieutenant, the laundry told me

they don't do boots, so I had to wash them myself.

Your boots!? - Yes, Comrade Lieutenant.

With soap and hot water, Sir.

Are you fucking with me, Paunovic?

I am not fucking with you, Comrade Lieutenant. - You are!

Listen, you might have spent

years fucking those Belgrade doctors

with your story about being mad, but not me.

Not me. I'll fuck your aunt in the spleen.

Asshole!

Yes, Comrade Lieutenant!

Comrade Lieutenant, all present and accounted for.

Forget the spam, let's go.

Eagle two, patrol check, over. - Copy that. - Squad leader!

This morning a scientific conference opened in Titograd,

entitled 'After Tito: Tito'.

Participants include distinguished scientists

and Academy members from all socialist republics...

Thanks, man. - Workers from the Tito Industrial

Plant in Skopje visited the birthplace of Comrade Tito,

the greatest son of our Nation and nationalities...

...Slobodan Milosevic from the Serbian Communist Party

to visit Kosovo... - Bravo, man!

I know if I lived for a thousand years,

my whole life would fit in a day...

I know if I lived for a thousand years...

Doctor, Pasic needs you!

He'll fuck you in the ass!

Oh, no, he prefers when I suck his dick.

Yes.

Comrade Lieutenant, reporting for duty, sir!

How about a drink, Siriscevic? - No, thank you.

We don't have to be so formal.

No, it's just too early for me. - Fine.

Lock the door. - You want me to lock the door?

The situation is fucked up and I need a man

I can trust completely. I need your communist word of honour

that nothing said in this room...

Excuse me, Sir, I'm not in the Communist Party.

You're not? - No. - Why did I think you were in the Party?

All right then. Are you a man I can trust?

Well, it depends. - On what? Are you or are you not?

It depends on how dangerous it is.

I mean, I don't really want to get killed.

It's not dangerous. All you have to do is keep quiet.

Do you know how to keep quiet? - I do. I do. - Sit down.

What you're about to see, you never saw it, alright?

Don't be afraid! - I don't get it.

Easy, easy. Take a look at this.

What is this? - I don't fucking know, you're the doctor,

you tell me.

I should wash my hands. - Fuck your hands.

Does it hurt? - A bit.

Syphilis, Comrade Lieutenant. - Syphilis?

For real? - For real.

Fucking hell!

Have you had contacts with...

I mean... a person of

suspicious sexual habits in the past two or three weeks?

Pussies! - More than one? - No, no, I mean my friends,

all of them pussies, they laughed when I went off

with that whore. - When did you notice this?

This morning. - Have you seen a doctor yet?

I went in there and I came out.

And? Did a doctor examine you? - No. Shit, I got scared.

It's not easy, Siriscevic. I went in, and they asked

'Where's your file'.

As soon as I heard 'file', I froze. I don't want this

to be on my file. I'm about to be transferred out of here!

But, it's a medical file, not a personnel file.

Yeah, right. It all ends up in the same place.

And are you sure it's not this new thing

the papers are writing about? - AIDS? - Yes. - No, it isn't.

You'll treat it! - Hold on, it doesn't work that way.

How long does it take? To get rid of it?

For syphilis, it's at least three weeks.

You need to do it for me, man.

I can't face my wife with this!

Attention!

Comrades!

The situation is becoming unexpectedly complicated.

The Albanians are lining up their troops on our border.

Again!? - Paunovic, you wanted to say something?

Nothing, sorry, sir. - No, go ahead, say it.

If it's important, we should all hear it.

Sir, those Albanians just don't know

how to live like normal people, to have fun,

go to the movies, chase girls... whatever.

All they do is line up!

I've really had it with their fucking lining up!

Sit down.

Comrades, I would also like to chase girls like Paunovic,

but the Albanian machine-guns out there have us in their

sight 24 hours a day. You know that the enemy never sleeps,

and we won't either.

For as long as this continues no one leaves the border post.

All leaves and weekend passes

granted earlier are hereby cancelled.

Sir, my leave starts today, a train to Zagreb leaves tonight

Since you're still here, you're not going anywhere!

Any other questions? - And this is for how long, sir?

Until further notice. - Roughly?

The information available to me indicates that this

will be no less than three weeks. - Shit!

Three weeks! - Silence!

If it makes things any easier-

whatever goes for you, goes for me too.

I can't leave the post for the next 21 days either.

The only thing I did was to send Siriscevic

to get us the medical supplies we need.

Prepare for full combat activity.

This post is going to be a fortress

that our enemy will choke on.

Attention!

Comrade Colonel, Sir. Everything is in order, Sir.

Stop! You, you're crushing my petunias... Stop!

For God's sake! Fuck you! Plants produce oxygen for us.

If there were no plants, we'd have no air to breathe.

Every time a plant is destroyed,

it's a crime against humanity. Get it?

That's it, it's gone.

Fucking hell.

Hey! Cut it out!

At least, close the window!

Fuck him. There's nothing about it on the fucking news.

About what? - About the Albanians lining up.

As if they'd put something like this on the news.

You've no idea how many things like this have happened

and people had no idea. -So how come that you know about them?

Guys, I'll get screwed over this.

Why bother explaining it to him?

I want to. People know things happen,

but the army never talks about it,

not to upset the people.

Don't bullshit me. - You're full of shit!

We've been roaming this mountain like wolves

for the past ten months and has anyone seen anything?

Exactly. - Has anyone ever seen a single Albanian?

I have! - Cake shops don't count.

If you don't see them, it doesn't mean

that they're not there. - Who's gonna see them?

Safet Pasic when he's drunk?! - Come on, guys, that's enough!

For the 53rd time since the victory over Fascism

and for the 7th time since Tito has left us,

the Youth Relay, on its journey across Yugoslavia,

has arrived in Kosovo.

Passed from hand to hand by pioneers and youths,

workers and peasants, it will demonstrate yet again

that we are determined to continue along Tito's path.

When it finally arrives at the Yugoslav People's Army

Stadium on Tito's birthday... - What is this?

Assemble your weapons and get out!

Who told you to take your helmets off?

You're such a weasel.

You should give him one extencillina week

and let him fuck himself. Sorry, I have none.

I only have penicillin, and I'm low on that too.

And this fucker of yours, what's he like? - He's a cunt.

So why worry? - No choice. On top of that,

I must tell his wife that he won't be coming home

for three weeks. - I see, until we get his dick sorted out

we're at war with Albania!

Who are you looking for? - Lieutenant Pasic sent me!

Come on up.

Lieutenant Pasic... - Yes? - He sent me to tell you...

So, what does Lieut. Pasic want? - There are problems

at the border, so he wants you to know

that he won't be coming home for a while.

Problems at the border?

Well, you know... Troop movement

was observed on the Albanian side so an alert was declared

and no one may leave the border post.

So how come you left? - Secretly. Lieut. Pasic

allowed me to sneak out to give you this message.

And why didn't Lieutenant Pasic sneak out himself?

I see.

Can you spare five minutes to help me with something?

Where are you from? - Split. - From Split itself?

Yes, the city of Split. - On the coast? - Yes.

Do people swim there? - It is quite common in the summer.

And you sing. - Excuse me?

You people from Dalmatia, all you do is swim and sing

and care about nothing.

When Nadalina bathes her toes, in the sea...

You sing nicely. - I used to sing. - What did you study?

Social work. I'm two exams short of finishing first year.

And you? Are you studying? - I have a degree in medicine.

Really? A doctor!

A doctor! You can't imagine how I wish

I'd finished my degree. Come on, sit down.

It's never too late. - It's not about being late, but where?

Here? And a married woman has stuff to do.

Hey, Dalmatian Boy, do you have a girlfriend?

No... Not at the moment. - Was it long relationship?

Almost four years. - And what happened?

Nothing. Doesn't matter.

She screwed you over. She said she'd wait, but she didn't.

Miss her? - I miss all kinds of things!

So do I! - Eh...

Where are you, heroes?

Albanians! I fuck your mothers!

Leave the Albanians alone. Dinner is ready.

What the fuck is he up to?

Carried by the youth of Kosovo,

this afternoon the Youth Relay Baton will continue to

the village of Brodsane where it will take rest overnight.

Did you hear this? The baton will take a rest overnight?

Who's going to tuck it in?! - The Mayor! He tucks it in,

He tucks it in, kisses its forehead,

switches off the light and the tired Youth Relay Baton

falls asleep immediately! - And what does it dream about?

It dreams about Comrade Tito!

Continuing our program, we will now hear a report

from the village of Joldic. Our reporter there spoke

to a 68-year old Fadil Joldic, a retired shoemaker...

Who wants more? - I do! Pass the mustard.

C'mon, please be quiet.

...who decided again this year to travel on foot

from his village in Bosnia and Herzegovina, to Belgrade,

to pay his respects to comrade Tito at his grave in Dedinje.

Comrade Fadil, what does a man need for a journey like that:

Firm faith in brotherhood and unity;

determination to follow the ideas of socialist revolution

the immortal legacy of Comrade Tito that he left

for all of us? Which is the most important? - Shoes!

Nadalina, if you were mine, you'd fuck a gentleman...

Stop! Who's there?

It's Sinisa. Stop blinding me with that light.

Shhh. - Gvozdenovic, what's that thing

growing out of your head? - Where have you been?

Why are all the lights out?! - Didn't you hear my question?

What was it? - Where have you been?

I had some errands in town. - Got all the medical supplies?

Why the fuck do you care? - There's this shit

with the Albanians, man, and you're fucking around.

Yes.

Got it? - Yes.

Over the next 3 weeks, you have to find time

for the two of us every single day.

You have to have twenty one shots.

How many? - Twenty one. - What do you mean 21?

You said 3 shots in 3 weeks. - I know I said that.

I was wrong. The only thing I could get was this.

What's that? - Penicillin.

There isn't enough, but we'll get some more.

This... Never mind, Sir, just drop your pants and bend over.

For your information, alcohol and penicillin

do not go together. - You just do your job.

Just relax. Relax, don't be so tense.

What's so funny? What is so fucking funny? - Nothing, sir.

Fuck you and your whole tribe.

Who the hell gave you your degree? - There, we're done.

Hawk two to Eagle one, Hawk two to Eagle one, copy.

Eagle one, copy. - No movement at border mark F 7, over.

Eagle one copy that, over. - Hawk two over and out.

Ljuba will get into some shit. Yesterday when Pasic said

there was no leave, he went nuts!

What did he tell you he would do?

He didn't tell me anything! - So, how do you know?

I just do. - Albanian... bang... dead...

Fucking hell, he scared me.

We will fuck your mothers when we get there.

Doctor? - What is it?

Courtesy of our non-aligned Afghan brothers. - Kicks ass!

What's that? - Hashish!

Want some? - Yes!

Fucking hell, when singers start getting high,

the fucking end can't be far.

Take a hit.

Should we give him some too? - Doctor? - No. Fuck off.

Someone has to protect Yugoslavia.

Hi there.

Doctor, take this.

PROTECT BROTHERHOOD AND UNITY

LIKE THE APPLE OF YOUR EYE - JOSIP BROZ TITO

Hey man, you gotta see this.

Wow!

Ha? - Brilliant, man!

I was short of an L so I broke off a T from TITO.

You broke Tito? - OK, just a little. - You can't see it.

You shouldn't be able to fucking see it!

The war is at our door, and you do this kind of shit.

Go on, get lost.

Electric Orgasm. Now, I am totally screwed.

Pasic!

Hide the hash! - What does a sheep fucker know about hash?

Paunovic, what is this?

You see, sir, I thought that we should freshen up

our working environment, update these slogans so to speak,

to modernize them in a way. - Electric orgasm! - Yes.

It's this band from Belgrade. Very good.

Here, the doc can confirm.

Who do you think you are fucking with?!

Fuck your mother! Electric orgasm!

Electric orgasm!

Paunovic, I'm fed up with your craziness!

You think you are almost out of here.

Well, the hell you are!

What remains will be hell and misery for you. Horror.

For such a thing, heads will roll. Put the letters back.

Fuck your blood. Give him a tissue.

Comrade Lieutenant, Sir.

Request permission to climb down. - Go on.

Sir, I would like to go to Dedinje to pay my respects

to Tito's legacy. - Well,

I'd like to fuck a famous singer, but it won't happen.

What are you staring at? A dancing bear? Close the window!

Sir, I don't think you understood me.

In honour of our late president's birthday,

I would like to go to Belgrade on foot to visit his grave.

There you go again.

Sir, am I to understand this as your refusal to allow me,

a soldier of the Yugoslav Peoples' Army, to go and pay

my respects to president Tito

and express my gratitude for all he did for

the Brotherhood and Unity of our socialist community

as a whole?

What are you talking about, you idiot? - Sir, in honour

of our late president's birthday I'd like to go to

his grave in Belgrade on foot, and to express my gratitude

for all he did for our socialist community...

As a whole?

As a whole!

You're bullshitting me?!

Tell me that you're bullshitting me!

Do not joke with this, Paunovic.

Comrade Lieutenant, sir.

Permission to leave, sir.

He knows how fucking delicate this is.

Who could forbid a soldier to go and visit Tito's grave?!

Permission to speak, sir. - What, asshole?

Well, sir, I just wanted to... - Come back tomorrow.

Understand? - Yes, sir.

What the fuck are you laughing at? - Nothing, sir.

I am not there, I am gone.

I just want to be somewhere...

Where's the hash?

You smoked it all? You really don't give a fuck.

That stuff obviously works.

It was lethal, my friend.

Hey guys, I'm off.

All my life I've been dreaming of taking a boat

full of salt up a river.

Carrying an unforgettable love,

a thin long cigar and a pair of spurs. I am Shane.

I am Shane.

Life on the border is dangerous and hard.

I heard a story that death rode with me.

I am Shane.

Go on, shoo, shoo, get in.

Ciao!

Go on, shoo, shoo, get in.

Attention!

Salute to the flag!

...that is why today, exactly 7 years after his death,

the entire Yugoslavia will pay its respects, with sirens

and one minute of silence, to our beloved Tito.

The weather in Ohrid today will be sunny and warm...

Here you go. - Thank you.

Comrade, do you need any help?

For me? Aren't you a nice guy?

Dalmatian Boy, have the Albanians attacked us yet?

No, not yet. - Oh! Now my soul is at peace...

Watch that palm tree! - On a secret mission again?

I shouldn't really talk about it.

I see. If anyone asks, I never saw you.

Yes, I think that's best.

Are all you guys from Dalmatia like that? - Like what?

Like that, opportunistic. - And is this an opportunity?

What do you think? - You know what... - What?

If this is an opportunity... - What will you do if it is?

I wouldn't miss it. - Really? - Yeah.

Well, then, there won't be any opportunity.

I don't even know your name! - It's Sinisa!

Well, Sinisa, nice to meet you. I'm Mirjana.

If I don't kiss you I'll die.

Don't play with me.

Guys, what would happen if we came to power in Yugoslavia?

Who's we? - We, the army. - What army?

Everything's falling apart, the crisis and all,

the strikes, inflation, demonstrations in Kosovo.

The Slovenians. They're breaking up our country.

I mean, it wouldn't be bad if we, the army,

brought some order. - Doctor, the Lieutenant wants you.

Come here. - Why? - Let me show you something.

Look at this!

Want the entire country to look like this?

Why wash your hands?

Pasic calls him and he washes his hands.

Vladika, it's called hygiene.

Some people wash their hands, even more than once a year.

Hey, Dalmatian,

do you know if the Albanians will fuck us around for long?

Why do you ask me?

You're with Pasic all the time.

If you don't talk about Albanians,

what do you talk about? - Why do you care?

I don't really give a fuck.

I just want to know when I can go home.

What have I got to do with that?

Don't bullshit me. You're sucking up to him.

You're the only one allowed to go out.

Take it easy. - What does this fuck want?

Motherfucker.

That fucked up friend of yours even wrote a letter.

To make it official.

Do you think he made this up just to go home?

Who? Ljuba? I don't think so.

If he was that desperate, he would have come up

with something better than this.

That's true. You're right. - How far is it anyway?

From here to Belgrade? About 5-6 hundred kilometres.

It's not all that bad, I calculated it.

If he walked thirty kilometres a day until the 25th of May,

he'd be there in time, maybe even a bit early.

But I just keep thinking that he'll... - Screw you? - Yes.

I notified Command.

Now that everything's on paper,

there's no playing around with it.

Down there, they say they'll ask the Colonel.

Fucking hell, where is this all going?

They sent a message that salaries are in.

Go to the barracks and take mine.

Don't stop at any bars on the way,

take it to my wife directly. - Nothing to worry about, sir.

One thing... Since you've got it...

Have you had any relations with your wife?

No! - I mean, you must know that,

this is serous, if you've been with your wife after you've...

I said I haven't. What is it to you?

What is between me and my wife,

you ask me now and never again!

Once you're there, remember to bring a bottle...

Brandy? - Yesss...

Fucking hell! - It hurts? - Of course it fucking hurts.

Have you given any shots before, you idiot?!

Well, not really. - It shows.

Just my fucking luck to get a rookie doctor

practicing on me. Fuck this life.

Siriscevic, do you know what sheep are? Hell you do.

To tell you the truth, I only went to the Military Academy

in Belgrade to get away from Mt. Vlasic and the sheep.

I remember this dream from my first year.

It's funny. I'm asleep in my room,

and the duty officer calls out:

'Pasic, you have visitors'. I get dressed up,

I run to the gate, and there it is - my entire flock.

And there, at the gate, three hundred sheep came to see me.

It's stupid, really. You run away from the mountain,

and the army sends you to an even worse one.

And what's the first thing you hear when you go to work?

Baaa-baaa.

Give me some!

You have to eat something. - Just pour me another one!

If only I can get a transfer.

My wife is suffering here. You met her.

She's had it really tough.

Her old man died and left the four of them with no money.

She was the oldest.

Who the fuck is that now?

Take this.

Hallo? - Pasic, did you send that letter?

Yes, Comrade Colonel, yes, sir! - Did you send it?

Yes, sir, I sent it. Where did you find this Paunovic?

Well, he volunteered. He wanted to go.

Is he a model soldier?

Not exactly, but... - A worker? - No, not really a worker.

A student? - No, not a student either.

Send him to me on Wednesday. - Sir? - Is that clear?

Clear, Comrade Colonel. - I'm going to put him on TV.

No problem. Shall I exempt him from duty

and send him to you Wednesday morning. - That's right.

It'll be done, Comrade Colonel. - Clean him up a bit.

Yes, sir. - I told you this would be a mess.

What happened? - You know who that was? Rade the Orchidman.

I mean, the Colonel, the garrison commander.

He called the TV for Paunovic.

He'd give up his own ass just to be on TV.

I don't give a fuck.

I have nothing to do with this. You're my witness.

The wind is blowing, my dear doctor...

This Belgrade thing of yours

is becoming a fucking heavy duty.

The June class is down...

I was in his office when Rade the Orchidman called.

He's going to put you on TV.

You're getting so friendly with this maniac? - So what.

Attention!

You're listening to music now? Give me that radio.

Sir, please, don't. - Give me that radio!

Don't!

Corporal, I want all radios here! Now! - Yes, sir!

You won't make a fool out of me.

I'll turn this room upside down,

and whoever I find with a radio will be scraping shit

from the latrines for a month!

How many times do I have to tell you

that we're about to have a war here? How many times?

Their radar hears everything we say or do, and the signal

from this piece of shit can tell them everything we do.

And because of this piece of shit,

someone can lose their head.

May this radio fuck your mother.

Fuck your mother! - Silence, silence!

Twenty-one days and counting!

...as an expression of love for comrade Tito, the Relay Baton

overnighted in the Boro and Ramiz Youth Centre...

Transfer came through? - To Postojna. - Congratulations.

I brought the Lieutenant's salary.

I brought the Lieutenant's salary.

I heard you the first time.

Slowly..., watch out how you carry it down the stairs...

You must be very close to your Lieutenant,

he keeps sending you on errands.

You must be a model solider.

Well, not really. - Not a model soldier? - No.

Then you must be rotten.

Are you a bad boy, Dalmatian?

Sorry.

You're such a baby!

...in Berlin, US president Ronald Reagan met with

Russian leader Michail Gorbachev and invited him

to tear down the Berlin Wall...

Listen to this. Two Albanians run towards you with bayonets.

What do you do? Your rifle is empty,

you don't have time to reload,

you have to think fast, what do you do?

I will fuck their mothers! - No, no! Give it another try.

Vladika, hit them with this. - Come on, you bastard,

you fucking idiot, do you hear me? You faggot!

Gvozdenovic, if the Albanians appear,

you'll be the first one to shit your pants.

We'll see about that. I mean,

we're practicing man-on-man combat here,

and if you have nothing else to do,

do it somewhere else.

Great, you souped up the carburetor! Congratulations.

I've been thinking a lot about you.

I was thinking about you.

What about? About how you're going to have me?

Admit it, I don't mind. - C'mon... - C'mon what?

I don't know who attacked whom.

If you're talking about attacking,

I haven't even started yet.

Will you warn me when you do? - No.

Come... come now. - No, I don't want to.

Please, I'm begging you. Come on, please.

No, I don't want to.

It's so stupid to be a woman.

Everything leads to goddamn marriage.

Before you know how to walk, they start putting together

bed linen and towels for your dowry.

When I went to Belgrade to study,

my mom hardly asked me about school and exams and all that,

all she asked was

'How's Safet?' 'How are you getting along?'

And 'Are you planning to get married?'

And then you get married. Mom's crying.

Why is she crying, I kept thinking to myself.

If I had known that I was going to live in this shit hole

on the Albanian border for five years,

I would have cried too.

Everything will be fine.

No it won't. Nothing will be fine.

Dalmatian, do you know that I've never seen the sea?

Will you show me the sea? - I will.

Will you really? - Of course I will...

I don't understand your Slovenian.

What don't you understand?

Listen, I said who would buy some hand soap that we need...

Hawk one to Eagle three, Hawk one to Eagle three, copy.

Eagle three, this is Hawk one, do you copy?

I can't hear you. I don't...

Now I don't hear you at all, speak more clearly!

Come in, Siriscevic...

You know, lieutenant, I know a guy who actually fucked

that famous folk singer.

What did he say, how was she?! - He doesn't know.

He says he was so drunk that he couldn't remember a thing.

You're really crazy!

Yesterday, at the 7th anniversary of Tito's death,

Yugoslavia stopped once again. In all the villages and towns,

from North to South, sirens were sounded at 15:04,

to honour the greatest son of our peoples...

Stop jerking off!

Budiscak, stop it. - Leave your dick alone and try reading.

Comrades, please! - So, you pussy.

Brown-nosing the boss, eh?

I thought about it and I finally realised,

I don't have problems with the army any more.

My superior is like a father to me. - Like a father? - Yes!

Like a father. - Strict but fair?

Strict but fair. Like a father.

Listen, doctor,

am I just drunk, or did you fuck somebody?

A gentleman never tells.

Get up... Move, move...

Comrades, at twenty-three thirty, some two hours ago,

Albanian troops started a final line-up along our border

Sixteen thousand Albanians are crouched waiting

to catch us off guard.

But what they will catch is my cock.

The third army is on high alert,

but our Border Post must repel the first attack.

In this attack, I don't want to lie to you,

many of us will die, but we are ready for this

and we've always been prepared for this.

If someone is not ready to give his life for Yugoslavia,

step forward and I will kill him myself.

If they want war, they'll get war!

This thing will not end, comrade soldiers,

until we've fucked the mother

of each and every Albanian piece of shit...

Admit it, doc. You won't go to hell.

We'll drive them down to the Adriatic

and then force them into the sea.

Like kittens, we will drown them one by one until

only their little white caps are left floating.

Stand up! You motherfuckers! Corporal. - Yes, sir.

Take them away.

Attention! Left face! Forward march!

Hey, doctor. Doctor! - What?

Don't shout. Come on, get up. - What is it?

Your homeland needs you. We're going out to a pub.

What pub? Are you fucking out of your mind, you idiot?

Pasic will kill you for this. Go away.

We drank a little bit.

Basically, we drank everything we had

and we needed someone to drive us,

so that we can go on drinking.

You were the only one we could trust with such

a demanding responsibility.

When drinking, it doesn't matter how much you can drink,

but knowing when to throw up. Very good.

Here to serve the people!

You get an extra leave for this.

Repeat that tomorrow, when you're sober. - Not tomorrow.

It's now, take it or leave it!

I leave it then. - Much appreciated!

Excellent! - Comrade Lieutenant, I'm driving.

Didn't know, sorry!

Siriscevic, you bastard,

when will you finally give me my salary?

Sir, I gave it to your wife, as you ordered.

Oh, right. So you did.

Fuck, what a gynaecology.

A traveller I am, and so is my friend.

That magic woman put a spell on us with no end,

Hey my friend, friends we'll always be,

Don't let that woman come between you and me...

A horrible place. - What did you say?

I said what a horrible place!

Is Paunovic going to fuck me over in the morning?

When in the morning? - When he goes to see Colonel.

And that's in the morning, already?

Yes. That's why we're here, to say goodbye.

If he walks to Belgrade,

we'll never see each other again.

Thank fucking God! - Yes.

Up your mother's cunt three times! - Yes, sir!

Will he fuck me over? - Why don't you ask him yourself?

Can't. I'm scared. - Don't be scared, sir, I love you.

Who's that? - Corp. Petrovic, he is in charge of transfers.

I'll tell her, and so should you.

She must choose to whom she'll belong.

Was she a good fuck? - Fuck off. - Why fuck off,

just tell me if she's a good fuck. - Who?

No one, sir, we're checking out these whores here.

See that one over there? - Which one? - The tiger woman.

With that guy kissing her neck?

That one. I got it from her...

Ah, yeah? - And the guy kissing her is a classmate of mine,

we were roommates at the academy.

So, will you warn your roommate?

I don't give a fuck.

C'mon now, you motherfuckers, shoot, shoot.

Enver Hoxha can fuck your mother!

Why don't you shoot now? Let me go.

Siriscevic, I decided that you should go with Paunovic.

Where, to Dedinje?!

You want me to walk to Belgrade with him?!

No, you'll just escort him to the garrison,

I want to make sure he is gone. - Ah, that's alright.

What do you think, will Paunovic fuck me over?

He will. - You think so? - A hundred percent sure.

That he will fuck me over? - Consider it a done deal.

Don't, Paunovic, please. I'm waiting for my transfer.

Please, don't. - I won't, sir, really.

You won't? - Honest, I won't.

What's the matter with you? - Why did you tell me he would?

Just joking. - Oh, fuck you.

Listen, once you leave for Belgrade,

you don't have to walk all the time.

Take a train or a bus now and then.

But you never heard this from me.

I don't know what to say,

except have a safe trip, this is a great honour.

Thank you, Comrade Lieutenant.

And don't hold it against me if I... - Same here, sir.

I don't know what came over me, I am really sorry.

So where are you off to? - What do you mean?

To Tito's grave. - You're a total retard. - What?

I mean, if you wanted to run away...

Why do you need all this shit?

And why is the gentleman fucking the lieutenant's wife?

Why are you quiet now? If you had to fuck someone...

Why d'you fucking care who I fuck?

Oops.

Okay, now can you carry me for a bit? - What do you mean?

Go on, carry me.

Like the partisans, when they rescued their wounded.

Go on, please.

My dear Sasha, where did our love go,

that I really want to know...

Hey, doc, what did you say I was? - A retard.

I have to remember that one.

...and do you remember our times...

There you go, mate. - I'll miss you, doc.

Don't be a pussy.

You didn't promise her anything? - No.

That's the most important thing,

never make any promises.

I just told her I'd show her the sea. - Show her the sea?

Are you out of your mind?

Showing the sea is not a commitment.

Not a commitment? Everything is a commitment, man.

You don't know officers' wives.

She's not a typical officer's wife.

Not a typical officer's wife? - No! - No?

Paunovic, is it? - Yes, sir Comrade Colonel.

Here is how it will be, Paunovic.

Five soldiers and one camera

will be following you at all times.

I will join you near Pec and Kragujevac and finally

for the entrance to Belgrade. Sit down.

Excellent, Paunovic. Excellent. Here, have one.

Thank you, sir, I don't smoke.

Journalists are in the next room.

I invited them to film a story

about you, a story that will serve as a bright example

to young boys and girls of all our peoples and minorities.

Don't be scared of them, they won't bother you for long,

I'll do most of the talking. Everything's arranged.

I just need to prepare you for some questions. Understood?

Yes, sir. - First they'll ask you how you came up with

the idea to walk to Dedinje. What will you tell them?

Lieutenant Pasic talked me into it.

Wait a moment, you can't say that.

Here's what you will say: 'President Josip Broz Tito

did so much for us that I felt compelled

that the least what I, a soldier, can do...'

Permission to speak, sir. - Speak!

I don't want to go to Tito's grave, sir.

What do you mean?

I don't want to go to Tito's grave, sir.

Comrade Colonel, I request permission to explain.

What do you mean? - I didn't want to...

Sir... Lieutenant Pasic

threatened me and said that I had to go...

I think

he hates me, sir...

He told me... he told me he would suck my blood,

that's what he said...

that's what he said. 'I'll suck your blood'!

Stop it! - He cursed my mother, sir.

Did you or did you not volunteer to walk to Belgrade?

Look me in the eye!

He talked you into this?

Fuck you, motherfuckers! - And me... what could I do, sir?

Fuck all your mothers. Listen young man, you are going now!

Understand? No fucking around. You're going.

I got up and started writing a letter to Safet.

I told him everything.

About us. On four pages. And then I tore them to pieces...

Don't mess around with that.

You know that he can make my life up there

a complete misery. - He can even kill you.

Don't joke with that.

Who do you fear more, him or me?

Is the sea really that salty?

Just let me fuck you. - I'll let you do anything.

Anything you want, just be good to me.

Will you be good to me? - I'll be good to you.

Say you'll be good to me. - I'll be good to you, I will.

Comrades, I regret to inform you that solider Paunovic,

who was supposed to start his journey on foot this morning

to Dedinje, fell down and broke his left leg.

Today, of all days?

The officer who was supposed to have him relieved

of all duties did not follow my orders. I guarantee

that he will be dealt with appropriately!

I'd like to ask all of you to accept my apologies.

But it is soldier Paunovic who feels worst of all.

He cried like a baby because he couldn't go.

Have them pick some gladiolas for our comrade journalists.

Go on, serve the drinks.

Why are you scratching your balls while I speak?! Cheers!

Wash your hands and let's have lunch.

I wish it could stay like this forever.

I'll stay with my mother until you finish your service.

I'll wait for you there.

Eat shit! Eat shit! - Don't, Comrade Colonel sir,

please, don't! - You miserable piece of shit,

what kind of a soldier are you?

Call the M.P.'s right now!

Pasic. - Pasic! - Yes, Comrade Colonel, sir.

Fuck your mother. - I understand, sir!

What do you understand?! - Nothing, sir!

You understand nothing?! Fuck your dear sweet mother!

Comrade... - Shut up! Who gave you the permission to speak?

And who is this cunt you sent me?!

I sent him this morning, sir.

I am asking you, you Bosnian piece of shit?!

Who is the fucking incapable cunt,

who you sent to embarrass me in front of the journalists?

He cried to me that he didn't want to go to Belgrade,

that you talked him into it.

Fucking hell, Pasic, you came after me to fuck me up?!

Sir, I didn't! He volunteered, sir!

He came to me asking to let him go.

He didn't volunteer. Don't lie to me!

Sir, allow me to... - Don't lie,

Pasic, just tell me, like a man,

I wanted to fuck up the Colonel.

No, sir, I didn't, I have a witness.

Yes, you did, Pasic. You wanted to fuck me and you did.

Well done! And oh, am I going to fuck you up in return!

I'll crush you like a worm, you peasant!

Sir, let me. Please...

Shut up, you horse's ass, and listen carefully.

Don't send any more transfer requests. Useless.

Any request that comes from you,

I will personally tear it up.

You will never move from that mountain.

Get it, Pasic? You're a dead man!

Wolves will eat you up there.

Cunt. Are you there?

Fuck off, you ape! - What did you say?!

Exactly what you heard, fuck you, you ape,

that's what I'm telling you! You can kiss my ass.

I shit on each and every flower you ever planted.

May you rest in peace, Pasic.

Ilievski! - Yes, Comrade Colonel.

Take a patrol and bring that circumcised idiot here...

Yes, sir. - Hold on.

On a leash. Like a dog. - Yes, I understand sir.

Last night, crowds started to gather

at Kosovo Polje at 18.00 hours,

for a meeting that lasted for seven hours.

In this Prishtina suburb,

some 15 thousand residents of Kosovo

met in front of the Community Centre.

More than seventy persons took part in the discussion.

No one is allowed to beat you. It has never been

in the nature of the Serb and the Montenegrin people

to retreat when faced with obstacles,

to demobilise when it is time to fight...

What are you doing in there? - Nothing.

I should go. - It's raining. Stay a while.

Running away? - I'm not running.

I need to go. You know that.

I told you, don't play with me.

Wait till this is all over. This fucking army business.

Pass me my panties.

Till life gets back to normal.

There's no such thing as normal life, my Dalmatian.

Yes, there is... - No, there isn't.

Everyone promises a normal life,

and then something more important always comes up.

I love you. - Don't say that.

Who'll tell him, you or I? - I will.

He could really make trouble.

Stay a while, please.

Sinisa... Please. I can't stay alone!

It'll be alright.

It'll all be alright, hear me?

I'll tell him tonight.

He will kill him!

It's off... It's on... - What the fuck are you doing?

It's the contact, sir, I can't...

Fuck it, get another vehicle.

There is no other vehicle, sir.

Major Djokovic went out hunting.

Fuck. What is it? - It's off! - Move over.

It's on!

What did you do to me, Paunovic? - Nothing.

I was just joking.

You're not angry at me, are you? - No, I'm not.

Come on, come on!

You're such an idiot, Safet. You're fucking me

and someone else is fucking your wife.

Come on!

Stop! He'll kill him.

Who allowed you to mention my wife,

you fucking Belgrade faggot. Faggot!

Where are you, asshole?

Come out if you have the balls! I fuck your mother!

Asshole! Where are you, asshole? - Here I am.

Can you take me up with you? - We're on a mission, comrade.

I must come with you. I beg you! - Move to the back.

That was a great fight. I mean, I am a pacifist,

but even a pacifist loves to see a good fight.

What are you doing? - Pasic and Ljuba had a fight!

No shit?! - Honest, a real fight.

There he is. I found the lieutenant! - Let me through!

He did a good job, eh?

The best thing is not to touch anything.

If his spine is injured, we'll just fuck it up even more.

Go up and get something hard, a door or something,

to put him on it. Go! - Alright.

And bring more men! - Okay.

And bring a blanket to immobilise his neck.

Come on, follow me!

And call the garrison to send an ambulance. - Albanians!

Albanians! - What the fuck is he talking about?

People, it's them! Albanians are attacking. Hurry up!

Albanians! - What Albanians? - Albanians are attacking!

What Albanians, you idiot?

How could they come from this side?

Switch that off! They're advancing from the rear!

Look, it's a signal,

they're switching the lights on and off.

They were watching us,

they saw this mess at our border post.

Come on, don't just stand there a man is dying down there.

Whores! Albanian whores!

From North to South, From East to West... - What the fuck!

Run! Take cover.

It bathes in the sunshine, our pride, our Yugoslavia...

Stop that! Stop, you idiot!

What is it, you cunt! Want to fight? - We surrender!

What did you say? - We surrender!

Hands up, all of you.

Who fired? - He did! - He did?

Where's the officer? - He's not here. - Where is he?

On the ground, down there. - On the ground? - On the ground.

Show me. - Don't move him!

You, stay right where you are. Move it, faster!

Doctor!

Albania never attacked Yugoslavia.

4 years later,

Yugoslavia broke down in a series of bloody wars

among its nations.

Directed by

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