Original subtitles

Make yourself comfy, Jer-- Jeremiah.

Jerry's fine.

Got it.

What's your major, Jerry?

English, I guess.

I picked English because I sort of liked it in high school.

But it's so much work here.

So many ways to fuck it up-- or, sorry, screw it up.

You can swear. This is a place where you can swear.

In that case, FUCK.

Because I have to write this essay.

It's due in eighteen hours and I haven't even started the book, and it's not short.

It's about Noah's ark. I kinda know the story so I think I might be okay.

Yeah, I've read that book.

Um, it is about Noah's ark, but it's not exactly a straightforward take on it.

There's... demons, and unicorns and a talking cat.

It's pretty peculiar.

What?! Fuck, a talking cat?!

Hey hey, don't panic.

Have you thought of a thesis yet?

Do you know the word thesis?

You need to go read that book!

Jerry! Are you leaving?

Yeah.

Great!

I mean, I'm sorry to see you go, but...

Do you want to get a coffee?

Yes, that would be why I am at a cafe.

No, like, do you want to grab a coffee? With me?

Like a date?

I've never... with a guy.

You should probably head out.

You have a novel to read.

Essay's due in... eight hours.

I'll write it in the morning.

<laughter>

How does the book end? Do they find land?

Does a dove come with an olive branch?

Yes.

But it isn't a victory.

The world still ended.

The ark was built to keep people out but

evil found a way in.

So now the new world will contain evil

just like the old one.

Fuck.

I'm switching majors.

What's that from?

Nothing.

<soft music>

I think I'll wear my Birkenstocks tonight.

Even if you warped them with your neanderthal feet.

Do we have to go?

It's a cast party. You're not in the cast.

No, but, I wrote the thing.

Besides, people want to meet you. Like Odie.

Odie. Is he the one who knits his own underwear or the one you used to date?

Odie is both of those things.

<turns music louder>

Can you turn it off? I'm sick of all our music.

Just being decent, the walls are thin.

You going again?

Keeping a tally now, huh?

It's like this when you don't have a colon.

Sorry, of course it is.

Don't wear your Birkenstocks.

Today was warm, but the sun is gone.

It's early in the spring.

The earth is still cold.

<party music>

Hanky Panky! Oh my god!

Wow!

Hi!

I can't believe it.

Now I'm not sure how good your memory is so I'll explain.

This is called a "party" and these are what you call "friends."

And the state of mind you are beginning to feel

can be best described as "fun."

Lay off, Odell.

It's been a busy few semesters.

Odie, meet Jerry.

Jeremiah! The pleasure is all mine.

Of course, I was the director so I feel like I know you already.

Everybody, our writer has arrived!

This is Hank, and without him none of you would have anything to say.

And this is Jeremiah, his very own Melponene.

Sent from the heavens still... reeking of ambrosia and seed.

Drinks?

Think about Breton! The "simplest surrealist act"?

New friend!

If you're going to pout in a corner, you might as well do it with a drink in your hand.

You're Hank's Melponene, huh?

No. Maybe?

What's a "Melponene"?

Ohh, Melponene was one of the muses!

She inspired tragedies!

I'm doing a minor in Classics, so I'm a total nerd about it.

Stand in the middle of a crowded street and fire a pistol in every direction.

What do you study?

English, before. But I dropped out, so--

<SNEEZE>

Bless you!

"Bless you, my seventh daughter, and I a seventh daughter, too!

"The time has come for betterment, for lessons!

"Further degrees of nakedness shall lead the husbands palm towards

"your back with each passing trip to the pissing sink!

"Better to spend the hours of the owl with your sisters..."

Jeremiah!

The play is over. All gone. No More.

Boo hoo hoo.

You'll be back at it in no time.

That's not why I'm sad! It's you, Jerry.

You missed it.

Oh, I don't go to Hank's plays.

Oh, I know. Hank depends on it.

I just have to go to the bathroom.

Was it something I said?

Mea culpa.

I just have to go to the bathroom.

Oh yes. What is it? Up to ten times a day?

Those of us with colons have been blessed with the ability to finish a conversation!

Hank told you about that?

No, I go to the theatre.

What?

Mea culpa...

...Mia Farrow...

...Mia Wasikowska!

--may put you in jail, but the one thing they'll call you

is a fucking artist!

What's your play about?

I told you, summaries don't do it justice.

You had your chance.

I guess you'll never know.

What's your play about?

Hey!

What the fuck is his play about?

Well, there's this guy--

Kyle!

No it's okay. There's this guy, Bill, right?

Uh, and he lives in a small town.

He wants to move to the big city, but his mother begs him to stay.

See, she collects her tears in this little bottle

and drinks them down with honey every morning.

See, Bill almost died when he was a kid, so she's manic.

Um, he went to the E.R. and got a colostomy which is this little bag that comes from your

stomach

and it fills with shit. Leaves a scar.

Like this scar?

Hmm, no, it's a lot grosser, actually.

Ruby can explain, she did the makeup.

Wait, it's something I've been meaning to tell you--

OW, fuck!! Ow!!

What?

Ugh, fucking glass!

Clean up your shit, you pansies!!

How does that feel?

Better.

Thanks.

Hey.

I want to go home.

You're right.

Um, let's do that.

Let me just say some goodbyes.

That's not what I mean, Hank.

I don't want to go home with you.

I don't want to share a bed with you.

I want to go home.