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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
2
00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:37,165
This is your lunch, OK?
3
00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:39,336
Now, I put a dollar in there
so you can buy some milk.
4
00:00:39,537 --> 00:00:41,232
You can ask one of the big kids
where to do that.
5
00:00:41,439 --> 00:00:43,907
You remember your phone number?
I wrote it down for you, just in case.
6
00:00:44,108 --> 00:00:46,599
Put it in your pocket,
I don't want you to lose it.
7
00:00:47,078 --> 00:00:49,569
OK? You ready?
8
00:00:50,281 --> 00:00:52,044
I think so.
9
00:00:54,185 --> 00:00:56,119
It's Cady's big day.
10
00:00:56,554 --> 00:00:59,546
I guess it's natural for parents to cry
on their kid's first day of school.
11
00:00:59,757 --> 00:01:02,419
But, you know, this usually
happens when the kid is 5.
12
00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:05,960
I'm 16 and until today,
I was home-schooled.
13
00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:09,132
I know what you're thinking.
"Home-schooled kids are freaks."
14
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:13,963
X-Y-L-O-C-A-R-P.
Xylocarp.
15
00:01:14,171 --> 00:01:16,469
Or that we're weirdly religious
or something.
16
00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:21,178
And on the third day, God created
the Remington bolt-achion rifle
17
00:01:21,379 --> 00:01:23,779
so that Man could fight the dinosaurs.
18
00:01:23,981 --> 00:01:25,778
And the homosexuals.
19
00:01:25,983 --> 00:01:27,382
- Amen.
- Amen.
20
00:01:27,585 --> 00:01:28,984
But my family's totally normal.
21
00:01:29,186 --> 00:01:32,155
Except for the fact that both my
parents are research zoologists
22
00:01:32,456 --> 00:01:34,481
and we've spent the last
12 years in Africa.
23
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:36,054
I had a great life.
24
00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:38,624
But then my mom got offered tenure
at Northwestern University.
25
00:01:38,963 --> 00:01:43,195
So it was goodbye Africa
and hello high school.
26
00:01:45,503 --> 00:01:47,095
I'm OK. Sorry.
27
00:01:47,305 --> 00:01:48,704
I'll be careful.
28
00:02:14,598 --> 00:02:15,963
Hi.
29
00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,032
I don't know if anyone
told you about me.
30
00:02:18,235 --> 00:02:20,533
I'm a new student here.
My name is Cady Heron.
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00:02:20,738 --> 00:02:23,605
Talk to me again
and I'll kick your ass.
32
00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:31,640
You don't wanna sit there. Kristen
Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there.
33
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:34,648
Hey, baby.
34
00:02:41,492 --> 00:02:42,720
He farts a lot.
35
00:02:52,169 --> 00:02:53,864
Hey, everybody.
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00:02:54,305 --> 00:02:57,536
Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
37
00:02:58,042 --> 00:03:00,909
It's not you. I'm bad luck.
38
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,145
Ms. Norbury?
39
00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:08,942
My T-shirt's stuck
to my sweater, isn't it?
40
00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:11,087
- Yeah.
- Fantastic.
41
00:03:11,288 --> 00:03:12,585
Is everything all right in here?
42
00:03:12,790 --> 00:03:16,055
- Oh, yeah.
- So...
43
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:18,353
...how was your summer?
- I got divorced.
44
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,527
My carpal tunnel came back.
45
00:03:22,166 --> 00:03:25,533
- I win.
- Yes, you do.
46
00:03:25,736 --> 00:03:27,294
Well, I just wanted to let
everyone know
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00:03:27,505 --> 00:03:29,302
that we have a new student joining us.
48
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:32,234
She just moved here
all the way from Africa.
49
00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:34,001
Welcome.
50
00:03:34,712 --> 00:03:37,476
- I'm from Michigan.
- Great.
51
00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:40,417
Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.
52
00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,176
- Where are you, Cady?
- That's me.
53
00:03:42,386 --> 00:03:44,946
- It's pronounced like Katie.
- My apologies.
54
00:03:45,156 --> 00:03:46,783
I have a nephew named Anfernee,
55
00:03:46,991 --> 00:03:49,289
and I know how mad he gets
when I call him Anthony.
56
00:03:49,493 --> 00:03:51,324
Almost as mad as I get
when I think about the fact
57
00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:53,156
that my sister named him Anfernee.
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00:03:53,731 --> 00:03:55,392
Well, welcome, Cady.
59
00:03:55,599 --> 00:03:58,568
- And thank you, Mr. Duvall.
- Well, thank you.
60
00:03:58,769 --> 00:04:00,168
And...
61
00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:03,306
...if you need anything or if you
wanna talk to somebody...
62
00:04:03,507 --> 00:04:04,735
Thanks.
63
00:04:05,075 --> 00:04:08,340
Maybe some other time,
when my shirt isn't see-through.
64
00:04:08,913 --> 00:04:10,505
OK.
65
00:04:11,282 --> 00:04:13,910
OK. Good day, everybody.
66
00:04:15,186 --> 00:04:17,381
The first day of school was a blur.
67
00:04:17,588 --> 00:04:20,352
A stressful, surreal blur.
68
00:04:20,558 --> 00:04:22,719
I got in trouble for the
most random things.
69
00:04:22,927 --> 00:04:25,623
- Where are you going?
- Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
70
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:27,658
You need the lavatory pass.
71
00:04:28,265 --> 00:04:30,130
OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?
72
00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:32,425
Nice try. Have a seat.
73
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,734
I had never lived in a world
where adults didn't trust me,
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00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:37,339
where they were always yelling at me.
75
00:04:37,541 --> 00:04:39,168
- Don't read ahead!
- No green pen!
76
00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:40,536
No food in class!
77
00:04:51,689 --> 00:04:52,986
I told you, I saw the whole thing.
78
00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:54,851
- Everything.
- Did you see nipple?
79
00:04:55,059 --> 00:04:58,620
- It only counts if you saw a nipple.
- That's true, dude.
80
00:04:58,829 --> 00:05:00,854
I had a lot of friends in Africa.
81
00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:05,629
What?
82
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,827
But so far, none in Evanston.
83
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,879
Hey. How was your first day?
84
00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:40,360
Is that your natural hair color?
85
00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:42,801
- Yeah.
- It's gorgeous.
86
00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:44,235
Thank you.
87
00:05:44,675 --> 00:05:46,199
See, this is the color I want.
88
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:48,878
This is Damian.
He's almost too gay to function.
89
00:05:49,947 --> 00:05:52,211
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice wig, Janis.
90
00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:54,748
- What's it made of?
- Your mom's chest hair!
91
00:05:54,952 --> 00:05:58,012
- I'm Janis.
- Hi, I'm Cady.
92
00:05:58,556 --> 00:06:00,922
Do you guys know
where Room G 14 is?
93
00:06:02,626 --> 00:06:05,026
"Health, Tuesday/Thursday,
Room G 14."
94
00:06:05,229 --> 00:06:07,629
I think that's in the back building.
95
00:06:07,831 --> 00:06:10,299
- Yeah, that's in the back building.
- Yeah, we'll take you there.
96
00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:12,693
Thanks.
97
00:06:13,470 --> 00:06:17,236
Watch out, please!
New meat coming through!
98
00:06:17,808 --> 00:06:20,470
"Health. Spanish."
99
00:06:20,678 --> 00:06:22,737
You're taking 12th-grade calculus?
100
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:25,711
- Yeah, I like math.
- Why?
101
00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,811
Because it's the same
in every country.
102
00:06:28,719 --> 00:06:31,654
That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
103
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,889
Where's the back building?
104
00:06:34,425 --> 00:06:36,393
It burned down in 1987.
105
00:06:36,894 --> 00:06:39,089
Won't we get in some
sort of trouble for this?
106
00:06:39,396 --> 00:06:41,125
Why would we get you into trouble?
107
00:06:41,332 --> 00:06:43,027
We're your friends.
108
00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:47,093
I know it's wrong to skip class,
but Janis said we were friends.
109
00:06:47,304 --> 00:06:49,898
And I was in no position
to pass up friends.
110
00:06:50,107 --> 00:06:53,304
I guess I'll never know what I missed
on that first day of health class.
111
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:57,412
Don't have sex. Because you
will get pregnant and die.
112
00:06:57,615 --> 00:06:59,310
Don't have sex
in the missionary position,
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00:06:59,516 --> 00:07:00,949
don't have sex standing up.
114
00:07:01,785 --> 00:07:03,616
Just don't do it, promise?
115
00:07:04,755 --> 00:07:06,518
OK, everybody take some rubbers.
116
00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,715
Why didn't they just keep
home-schooling you?
117
00:07:08,926 --> 00:07:10,655
They wanted me to get socialized.
118
00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:13,455
Oh, you'll get socialized, all right.
A little slice like you.
119
00:07:13,797 --> 00:07:16,766
- What are you talking about?
- You're a regulation hottie.
120
00:07:17,101 --> 00:07:18,966
- What?
- Own it.
121
00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:20,602
How do you spell your
name again, Cady?
122
00:07:20,804 --> 00:07:23,136
It's Cady. C-A-D-Y.
123
00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,040
Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady.
124
00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:29,344
In the name of all that is holy, will you
look at Karen Smith's gym clothes?
125
00:07:29,546 --> 00:07:32,208
Of course all The Plastics
are in the same gym class.
126
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:35,074
- Who are The Plastics?
- They're teen royalty.
127
00:07:35,285 --> 00:07:38,482
If North Shore was Us Weekly,
they would always be on the cover.
128
00:07:38,689 --> 00:07:40,281
That one there, that's Karen Smith.
129
00:07:40,491 --> 00:07:43,858
She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet.
130
00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:46,554
Damian sat next to her
in English last year.
131
00:07:46,764 --> 00:07:48,561
She asked me how to spell "orange".
132
00:07:49,633 --> 00:07:52,500
And that little one?
That's Gretchen Wieners.
133
00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:55,194
She's totally rich because
her dad invented Toaster Strudel.
134
00:07:55,406 --> 00:07:56,998
Gretchen Wieners knows
everybody's business.
135
00:07:57,207 --> 00:07:59,038
She knows everything
about everyone.
136
00:07:59,243 --> 00:08:02,007
That's why her hair is so big.
It's full of secrets.
137
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:06,844
And evil takes a human
form in Regina George.
138
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:10,248
Don't be fooled, because she may seem
like your typical selfish, back-stabbing,
139
00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:15,585
slut-faced ho-bag. But in reality,
she is so much more than that.
140
00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,021
She's the queen bee.
141
00:08:17,227 --> 00:08:19,787
The star. Those other two
are just her little workers.
142
00:08:19,997 --> 00:08:21,589
Regina George.
143
00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:24,734
How do I even begin
to explain Regina George?
144
00:08:24,935 --> 00:08:26,698
Regina George is flawless.
145
00:08:26,904 --> 00:08:29,168
She has two Fendi purses
and a silver Lexus.
146
00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:31,398
I hear her hair's insured
for $10,000.
147
00:08:31,608 --> 00:08:34,406
I hear she does car commercials.
In Japan.
148
00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:36,340
Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
149
00:08:36,547 --> 00:08:38,174
One time, she met John Stamos
on a plane.
150
00:08:38,382 --> 00:08:39,872
And he told her she was pretty.
151
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:42,109
One time,
she punched me in the face.
152
00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:43,946
It was awesome.
153
00:08:44,154 --> 00:08:47,282
She always looks fierce.
She always wins Spring Fling Queen.
154
00:08:47,491 --> 00:08:49,459
- Who cares?
- I care.
155
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,491
Every year, the seniors throw
this dance for the underclassmen
156
00:08:51,695 --> 00:08:52,957
called The Spring Fling.
157
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,256
And whomsoever is elected
Spring Fling King and Queen
158
00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:57,331
automatically becomes head of the
Student Activities Committee.
159
00:08:57,534 --> 00:09:00,367
And since I am an active member
of the Student Activities Committee,
160
00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,562
I would say, yeah, I care.
161
00:09:02,773 --> 00:09:05,867
Damian, you've truly
out-gayed yourself.
162
00:09:07,711 --> 00:09:10,839
Here. This map is gonna
be your guide to North Shore.
163
00:09:11,048 --> 00:09:13,539
Now, where you sit in
the cafeteria is crucial
164
00:09:13,751 --> 00:09:15,150
because you got everybody there.
165
00:09:15,352 --> 00:09:17,912
You got your freshmen,
ROTC guys,
166
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:21,057
preps, JV jocks,
167
00:09:21,258 --> 00:09:23,488
Asian nerds,
168
00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:25,723
cool Asians,
169
00:09:26,096 --> 00:09:27,393
varsity jocks,
170
00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:29,790
unfriendly black hotties,
171
00:09:30,334 --> 00:09:32,325
girls who eat their feelings,
172
00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:34,795
girls who don't eat anything,
173
00:09:35,005 --> 00:09:36,472
desperate wannabes,
174
00:09:36,907 --> 00:09:38,169
burnouts,
175
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:40,443
sexually active band geeks,
176
00:09:40,677 --> 00:09:42,941
the greatest people
you will ever meet
177
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,716
and the worst.
Beware of The Plastics.
178
00:09:49,253 --> 00:09:51,619
Hey. We're doing a lunchtime
survey of new students.
179
00:09:51,822 --> 00:09:53,084
Can you answer a few questions?
180
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,254
- OK.
- Is your muffin buttered?
181
00:09:56,994 --> 00:09:58,393
What?
182
00:09:59,263 --> 00:10:02,664
Would you like us to assign
someone to butter your muffin?
183
00:10:02,866 --> 00:10:04,834
- My what?
- Is he bothering you?
184
00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:07,003
Jason, why are you such a skeez?
185
00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:08,762
I'm just being friendly.
186
00:10:09,339 --> 00:10:10,772
You were supposed
to call me last night.
187
00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:14,102
Jason. You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
188
00:10:14,311 --> 00:10:17,803
and then scam on some poor, innocent
girl right in front of us three days later.
189
00:10:18,015 --> 00:10:19,482
She's not interested.
190
00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:20,945
Do you wanna have sex with him?
191
00:10:21,785 --> 00:10:24,720
- No, thank you.
- Good. So it's settled.
192
00:10:24,922 --> 00:10:26,514
So you can go shave your back now.
193
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:28,582
Bye, Jason.
194
00:10:28,792 --> 00:10:30,623
Bitch.
195
00:10:30,828 --> 00:10:33,661
Wait. Sit down.
196
00:10:35,032 --> 00:10:36,659
Seriously, sit down.
197
00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:41,598
Why don't I know you?
198
00:10:41,805 --> 00:10:44,205
I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
199
00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,873
- What?
- I used to be home-schooled.
200
00:10:47,077 --> 00:10:48,442
Wait. What?
201
00:10:48,645 --> 00:10:50,408
- My mom taught me at home...
- No, no.
202
00:10:50,614 --> 00:10:52,081
I know what home-school is.
I'm not retarded.
203
00:10:52,282 --> 00:10:54,409
So you've actually never been
to a real school before?
204
00:10:56,053 --> 00:10:57,577
Shut up.
205
00:10:58,488 --> 00:10:59,887
Shut up.
206
00:11:00,524 --> 00:11:02,992
- I didn't say anything.
- Home-schooled.
207
00:11:03,193 --> 00:11:05,525
- That's really interesting.
- Thanks.
208
00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:07,196
But you're, like, really pretty.
209
00:11:07,564 --> 00:11:09,623
- Thank you.
- So you agree.
210
00:11:09,833 --> 00:11:11,562
- What?
- You think you're really pretty.
211
00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:15,036
- Oh, I don't know...
- Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
212
00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:18,072
- Where did you get it?
- Oh, my mom made it for me.
213
00:11:18,275 --> 00:11:20,869
- It's adorable.
- Oh, it's so fetch.
214
00:11:21,078 --> 00:11:24,445
- What is "fetch"?
- Oh, it's, like, slang. From England.
215
00:11:24,648 --> 00:11:26,081
So if you're from Africa...
216
00:11:26,650 --> 00:11:28,345
...why are you white?
217
00:11:28,552 --> 00:11:31,715
Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just
ask people why they're white.
218
00:11:31,922 --> 00:11:34,413
Could you give us some privacy
for, like, one second?
219
00:11:34,625 --> 00:11:36,422
Yeah, sure.
220
00:11:37,427 --> 00:11:38,860
What are you doing?
221
00:11:42,733 --> 00:11:44,758
OK, you should just know
that we don't do this a lot,
222
00:11:44,968 --> 00:11:47,232
so this is, like, a really huge deal.
223
00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:49,132
We wanna invite you
to have lunch with us
224
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,966
every day for the rest of the week.
225
00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:53,108
- Oh, it's OK...
- Coolness.
226
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:54,538
So we'll see you tomorrow.
227
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:57,009
On Wednesdays, we wear pink.
228
00:11:57,447 --> 00:11:59,415
Oh, my God!
OK, you have to do it, OK?
229
00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:02,244
And then you have to tell me all
the horrible things that Regina says.
230
00:12:02,519 --> 00:12:04,316
Regina seems sweet.
231
00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,088
Regina George is not sweet.
232
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,850
She's a scum-sucking road whore!
She ruined my life!
233
00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:10,754
She's fabulous, but she's evil.
234
00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,952
- Hey, get out of here!
- Oh, my God, Danny DeVito.
235
00:12:13,163 --> 00:12:14,994
I love your work!
236
00:12:15,198 --> 00:12:16,995
- Why do you hate her?
- What do you mean?
237
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,134
Regina. You seem to really hate her.
238
00:12:19,336 --> 00:12:21,133
Yes. What's your question?
239
00:12:21,338 --> 00:12:23,397
- Well, my question is, why?
- Regina started this rumor
240
00:12:23,607 --> 00:12:26,474
- that Janis was...
- Damian! Shall we not?
241
00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:28,338
Now, look. This isn't
about hating her, OK?
242
00:12:28,545 --> 00:12:30,308
I just think that it would be, like,
a fun little experiment
243
00:12:30,514 --> 00:12:33,074
if you were to hang out with them and
then tell us everything that they say.
244
00:12:33,283 --> 00:12:35,342
- What do we even talk about?
- Hair products.
245
00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:37,281
- Ashton Kutcher.
- Is that a band?
246
00:12:37,487 --> 00:12:40,047
Would you just do it? Please?
247
00:12:40,691 --> 00:12:42,989
OK, fine.
Do you have anything pink?
248
00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:44,956
- Yes.
- No.
249
00:12:45,595 --> 00:12:48,223
By eigtht period, I was so happy
to get to math class.
250
00:12:48,432 --> 00:12:50,832
I mean, I'm good at math.
I understand math.
251
00:12:51,034 --> 00:12:52,934
Nothing in math class
could mess me up.
252
00:12:53,370 --> 00:12:55,304
Hey, do you have a pencil
I can borrow?
253
00:12:57,541 --> 00:12:59,634
I've only had one other
crush in my life.
254
00:12:59,843 --> 00:13:01,811
His name was Nfume,
and we were 5.
255
00:13:06,049 --> 00:13:07,346
It didn't work out.
256
00:13:08,452 --> 00:13:10,613
But this one hit me like a big,
yellow school bus.
257
00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,880
- Cady, what do you say?
- He was...
258
00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:14,523
So cute.
259
00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:20,422
I mean, A- sub-N equals
N plus one over four.
260
00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:22,097
That's right.
261
00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:24,267
That's good. Very good.
262
00:13:24,468 --> 00:13:26,299
All right, let's talk
about your homework.
263
00:13:28,071 --> 00:13:30,232
Hey. How was your second day?
264
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,736
- Fine.
- Were people nice?
265
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,504
- No.
- Did you make any friends?
266
00:13:35,946 --> 00:13:37,709
Yeah.
267
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,375
Having lunch with The Plastics
was like leaving the actual world
268
00:13:42,586 --> 00:13:44,076
and entering "Girl World".
269
00:13:44,287 --> 00:13:46,312
And Girl World had a lot of rules.
270
00:13:46,523 --> 00:13:48,423
You can't wear a tank top
two days in a row,
271
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:51,321
and you can only wear your
hair in a ponytail once a week.
272
00:13:51,795 --> 00:13:54,263
So I guess you picked today.
273
00:13:54,598 --> 00:13:57,658
Oh, and we only wear jeans
or track pants on Fridays.
274
00:13:57,868 --> 00:14:01,201
Now, if you break any of these rules,
you can't sit with us at lunch.
275
00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:03,396
I mean, not just you. Like, any of us.
276
00:14:03,607 --> 00:14:05,404
OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today,
277
00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:07,873
I would be sitting over there
with the art freaks.
278
00:14:10,147 --> 00:14:12,274
Oh, and we always vote before we ask
someone to eat lunch with us
279
00:14:12,482 --> 00:14:15,280
because you have to be considerate
of the rest of the group.
280
00:14:15,552 --> 00:14:17,679
Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt
without asking your friends first
281
00:14:17,888 --> 00:14:20,049
- if it looks good on you.
- I wouldn't?
282
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,221
Right.
Oh, and it's the same with guys.
283
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:26,886
Like, you may think you like someone,
but you could be wrong.
284
00:14:27,097 --> 00:14:30,260
A hundred and twenty calories and 48
calories from fat. What percent is that?
285
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,400
Forty-eight into 120?
286
00:14:32,602 --> 00:14:35,230
I'm only eating foods with less than
30 percent calories from fat.
287
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,031
It's 40 percent.
288
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:40,403
Well, 48 over 120
equals X over 100,
289
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,942
and then you cross-multiply
and get the value of X.
290
00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:45,742
Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.
291
00:14:48,518 --> 00:14:51,214
So have you seen any guys
that you think are cute yet?
292
00:14:52,022 --> 00:14:53,785
Well, there's this guy
in my calculus class...
293
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,821
- Who is it?
- It's a senior?
294
00:14:56,093 --> 00:14:58,584
- His name's Aaron Samuels.
- No!
295
00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,763
Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels.
296
00:15:00,964 --> 00:15:02,625
That's Regina's ex-boyfriend.
297
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,061
They went out for a year.
298
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:05,632
Yeah, and then she was devastated
299
00:15:05,836 --> 00:15:07,235
when he broke up
with her last summer.
300
00:15:07,537 --> 00:15:09,562
I thought she dumped him
for Shane Oman.
301
00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:12,435
OK, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends
are just off-limits to friends.
302
00:15:12,642 --> 00:15:15,008
I mean, that's just, like,
the rules of feminism.
303
00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:20,040
Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina
what you said.
304
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,081
It'll be our little secret.
305
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:27,256
We define the sum
of the infinite geometric series...
306
00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:29,288
Even though I wasn't
allowed to like Aaron,
307
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,189
I was still allowed to look at him.
308
00:15:33,163 --> 00:15:34,824
And think about him.
309
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,191
And talk to him.
310
00:15:39,402 --> 00:15:41,131
- Hey, Aar...
- Hey, you're the Africa girl, right?
311
00:15:41,938 --> 00:15:43,565
- Yeah.
- I'm Kevin Gnapoor,
312
00:15:43,773 --> 00:15:45,263
captain of the North Shore Mathletes.
313
00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:48,603
We participate in math challenges
against other high schools in the state,
314
00:15:48,812 --> 00:15:51,076
and we can get twice as much funding
if we've got a girl.
315
00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:52,839
So you should think about joining.
316
00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:55,540
- Oh, you'd be perfect for it.
- Yeah, definitely.
317
00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:58,016
Great, great.
Let me give you my card.
318
00:16:01,491 --> 00:16:02,788
OK, so think it over.
319
00:16:03,927 --> 00:16:06,054
Because we'd like to get jackets.
320
00:16:06,863 --> 00:16:08,421
OK.
321
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,472
Hey!
322
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,207
Get in, loser. We're going shopping.
323
00:16:26,783 --> 00:16:28,808
Regina's like the Barbie doll
I never had.
324
00:16:29,019 --> 00:16:31,385
I'd never seen anybody
so glamorous.
325
00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:36,817
- So how do you like North Shore?
- It's good.
326
00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,460
I think I'm joining the Mathletes.
327
00:16:38,662 --> 00:16:39,890
- No! No, no.
- No, no.
328
00:16:40,096 --> 00:16:42,656
You cannot do that.
That is social suicide.
329
00:16:42,866 --> 00:16:45,494
Damn, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
330
00:16:56,246 --> 00:16:59,909
Being at Old Orctard Mall kind of
reminded me of being home in Africa.
331
00:17:00,116 --> 00:17:03,415
By the watering hole.
when the animals are in heat.
332
00:17:11,494 --> 00:17:12,791
Oh, my God, there's Jason!
333
00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:15,692
Where? Oh, there he is.
334
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,730
- And he's with Taylor Wedell.
- I heard they're going out.
335
00:17:19,936 --> 00:17:22,530
Wait. Jason's not going out
with Taylor.
336
00:17:22,739 --> 00:17:25,071
No. He cannot blow you off like that.
337
00:17:25,275 --> 00:17:28,540
He's such a little skeez.
Give me your phone.
338
00:17:29,512 --> 00:17:32,072
- You're not gonna call him, right?
- Do you think I'm an idiot?
339
00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:33,848
No.
340
00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:38,816
- Wedell on South Boulevard.
- Caller ID.
341
00:17:39,022 --> 00:17:40,683
Not when you connect
from Information.
342
00:17:40,890 --> 00:17:42,118
- Hello?
- Hello.
343
00:17:42,325 --> 00:17:43,758
May I please speak
to Taylor Wedell?
344
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,587
She's not home yet. Who's calling?
345
00:17:45,795 --> 00:17:47,763
Oh, this is Susan from
Planned Parenthood.
346
00:17:47,964 --> 00:17:51,559
I have her test results. If you can have
her give me a call as soon as she can.
347
00:17:51,768 --> 00:17:54,066
It's urgent. Thank you.
348
00:17:55,338 --> 00:17:56,999
She's not going out with anyone.
349
00:17:57,207 --> 00:17:59,767
OK, that was so fetch.
350
00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,012
Mom.
351
00:18:21,231 --> 00:18:23,495
Your house is really nice.
352
00:18:23,700 --> 00:18:25,634
I know, right?
353
00:18:25,835 --> 00:18:27,393
Make sure you check out
her mom's boob job.
354
00:18:27,604 --> 00:18:29,765
They're hard as rocks.
355
00:18:31,274 --> 00:18:33,504
I'm home! Hey, Kylie.
356
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:35,534
Hey.
357
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:40,507
Hey, hey, hey!
How are my best girlfriends?
358
00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:42,480
Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady.
359
00:18:43,119 --> 00:18:44,711
Hello, sweetheart.
360
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:48,424
- Hi.
- Welcome to our home.
361
00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:54,728
Just want you to know, if you need
anything, don't be shy, OK?
362
00:18:54,931 --> 00:18:57,832
There are no rules in this house.
I'm not like a regular mom.
363
00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:00,628
I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?
364
00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,304
- Please stop talking.
- OK.
365
00:19:02,505 --> 00:19:05,599
I'm gonna make you girls
a "hump day" treat.
366
00:19:11,214 --> 00:19:12,875
This is your room?
367
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:16,314
It was my parents' room,
but I made them trade me.
368
00:19:17,087 --> 00:19:19,021
Hey, put on 98.8.
369
00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,160
Cady, do you even know
who sings this?
370
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:29,432
- The Spice Girls?
- I love her.
371
00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:30,894
She's like a Martian.
372
00:19:31,101 --> 00:19:34,434
- God, my hips are huge!
- Oh, please. I hate my calves.
373
00:19:34,637 --> 00:19:37,333
At least you guys can wear halters.
I've got man shoulders.
374
00:19:37,607 --> 00:19:40,167
I used to think there
was just fat and skinny.
375
00:19:40,377 --> 00:19:42,777
Apparently, there's a lot of things
that can be wrong on your body.
376
00:19:42,979 --> 00:19:45,777
- My hairline is so weird.
- My pores are huge.
377
00:19:45,982 --> 00:19:47,279
My nail beds suck.
378
00:19:50,587 --> 00:19:52,555
I have really bad breath
in the morning.
379
00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:58,219
Hey, you guys.
Happy hour is from 4 to 6!
380
00:19:59,996 --> 00:20:01,657
Thanks.
381
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:04,400
Is there alcohol in this?
382
00:20:04,601 --> 00:20:08,059
Oh, God, honey, no. What kind
of mother do you think I am?
383
00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:11,468
Do you want a bit? If you're gonna
drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.
384
00:20:11,674 --> 00:20:13,198
- No, thank you.
- OK.
385
00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:17,870
So, you guys, what is the 411?
386
00:20:18,081 --> 00:20:20,675
What has everybody been up to?
387
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:23,910
What is the hot gossip?
Tell me everything.
388
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,247
What are you guys listening to?
What's the cool jams?
389
00:20:26,523 --> 00:20:27,820
Mom.
390
00:20:28,024 --> 00:20:30,424
- Could you go fix your hair?
- OK.
391
00:20:30,627 --> 00:20:34,063
You girls keep me young.
Oh, I love you so much.
392
00:20:36,766 --> 00:20:38,961
Oh, my God, I remember this.
393
00:20:39,169 --> 00:20:42,297
- I haven't looked at that in forever.
- Come check it out, Cady.
394
00:20:42,505 --> 00:20:43,733
It's our Burn Book.
395
00:20:43,940 --> 00:20:45,771
See, we cut out girls' pictures
from the yearbook,
396
00:20:45,975 --> 00:20:47,909
and then we wrote comments.
397
00:20:48,111 --> 00:20:51,103
- "Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch."
- Still true.
398
00:20:51,314 --> 00:20:54,772
- "Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin."
- Still half true.
399
00:20:56,486 --> 00:20:59,785
"Amber D'Alessio."
She made out with a hot dog.
400
00:21:00,156 --> 00:21:02,090
"Janis Ian, dyke."
401
00:21:02,992 --> 00:21:05,290
- Who is that?
- I think that's that kid Damian.
402
00:21:05,762 --> 00:21:08,322
Yeah. He's almost too gay
to function.
403
00:21:08,631 --> 00:21:11,259
That's funny. Put that in there.
404
00:21:11,468 --> 00:21:14,631
Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK
when Janis said it.
405
00:21:15,472 --> 00:21:17,440
And they have this Burn Book
where they write mean things
406
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,108
- about all the girls in our grade.
- What does it say about me?
407
00:21:21,044 --> 00:21:23,638
- You're not in it.
- Those bitches.
408
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,542
- Will this minimize my pores?
- No. Cady,
409
00:21:25,748 --> 00:21:27,215
you gotta steal that book.
410
00:21:27,417 --> 00:21:29,146
- No way!
- Oh, come on. We could publish it,
411
00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:31,820
and then everybody would see
what an ax-wound she really is.
412
00:21:32,021 --> 00:21:34,717
- I don't steal.
- That is for your feet.
413
00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:37,916
Cady, there are two kinds
of evil people.
414
00:21:38,127 --> 00:21:39,526
People who do evil stuff,
415
00:21:39,729 --> 00:21:43,324
and people who see evil stuff
being done and don't try to stop it.
416
00:21:43,633 --> 00:21:48,070
Does that mean I'm morally
obligated to burn that lady's outfit?
417
00:21:48,471 --> 00:21:49,904
Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury.
418
00:21:50,106 --> 00:21:51,539
I love seeing teachers
outside of school.
419
00:21:51,741 --> 00:21:53,834
It's like seeing a dog
walk on its hind legs.
420
00:21:55,111 --> 00:21:57,011
Hey, guys, what's up?
I didn't know you worked here.
421
00:21:57,213 --> 00:21:59,773
Yeah, moderately priced soaps
are my calling.
422
00:22:00,083 --> 00:22:02,881
- You shopping?
- No, I'm just here with my boyfriend.
423
00:22:05,688 --> 00:22:08,816
Joking. Sometimes older people
make jokes.
424
00:22:09,025 --> 00:22:11,585
My nana takes her wig off
when she's drunk.
425
00:22:11,794 --> 00:22:13,887
Your nana and I have that
in common.
426
00:22:14,097 --> 00:22:16,793
No, actually, I'm just here because
I bartend a couple nights a week
427
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,729
down at P. J. Calamity's.
428
00:22:19,769 --> 00:22:21,600
Cady, I hope you do
join Mathletes, you know,
429
00:22:21,804 --> 00:22:23,169
because we start in a couple weeks
430
00:22:23,373 --> 00:22:25,000
and I would love
to have a girl on the team,
431
00:22:25,208 --> 00:22:27,506
just, you know, so the team
could meet a girl.
432
00:22:27,710 --> 00:22:29,678
- I think I'm gonna do it.
- Great.
433
00:22:29,879 --> 00:22:32,143
You can't join Mathletes.
It's social suicide.
434
00:22:32,348 --> 00:22:34,646
Thanks, Damian.
435
00:22:34,951 --> 00:22:38,409
Well, this has been
sufficiently awkward.
436
00:22:38,621 --> 00:22:40,555
And I'll see you guys tomorrow.
437
00:22:40,757 --> 00:22:42,349
- Bye.
- Bye.
438
00:22:42,559 --> 00:22:45,722
Oh, man, that is bleak.
439
00:22:45,929 --> 00:22:47,794
So when are you gonna
see Regina again?
440
00:22:48,264 --> 00:22:50,061
I can't spy on her anymore.
It's weird.
441
00:22:50,266 --> 00:22:54,100
Come on, she's never gonna find out.
It'll be like our little secret.
442
00:22:57,507 --> 00:22:59,031
- Hello?
- I know your secret.
443
00:22:59,242 --> 00:23:00,470
Oh, God, busted.
444
00:23:00,677 --> 00:23:02,907
Just start apologizing and crying.
No, play it cool.
445
00:23:03,112 --> 00:23:04,704
Secret?
What are you saying about?
446
00:23:04,914 --> 00:23:07,041
Gretchen told me
that you like Aaron Samuels.
447
00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:09,445
I mean, I don't care,
do whatever you want.
448
00:23:09,652 --> 00:23:11,984
But let me just tell you something
about Aaron:
449
00:23:12,188 --> 00:23:16,522
All he cares about is school
and his mom and his friends.
450
00:23:16,726 --> 00:23:18,990
- Is that bad?
- But if you like him...
451
00:23:19,195 --> 00:23:22,358
Whatever. I mean, I could talk
to him for you if you want.
452
00:23:22,565 --> 00:23:25,432
Really? You would do that? I mean,
nothing embarrassing, though, right?
453
00:23:25,635 --> 00:23:28,229
Oh, no, trust me.
I know exactly how to play it.
454
00:23:28,638 --> 00:23:32,665
But wait. Aren't you so mad
at Gretchen for telling me?
455
00:23:32,875 --> 00:23:34,240
- No.
- Because if you are,
456
00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:37,641
you can tell me. It was a really
bitchy thing for her to do.
457
00:23:37,847 --> 00:23:40,816
Yeah, it was pretty bitchy,
but I'm not mad.
458
00:23:41,017 --> 00:23:42,382
I mean, I guess she just
likes the attention.
459
00:23:42,585 --> 00:23:44,212
See, Gretch? I told you
she's not mad at you.
460
00:23:44,420 --> 00:23:45,978
I can't believe you think
I like attention!
461
00:23:46,189 --> 00:23:48,885
OK, love you. See you tomorrow.
462
00:23:49,459 --> 00:23:51,620
I had survived my first
three-way calling attack.
463
00:23:52,095 --> 00:23:55,553
And with Regina's blessing, I started
talking to Aaron more and more.
464
00:23:55,932 --> 00:23:58,230
On October 3rd, he asked me
what day it was.
465
00:23:58,601 --> 00:24:00,193
It's October 3rd.
466
00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:02,268
Two weeks later, we spoke again.
467
00:24:02,472 --> 00:24:04,167
It's raining.
468
00:24:04,374 --> 00:24:05,898
Yeah.
469
00:24:06,109 --> 00:24:07,872
But I wanted things to move faster.
470
00:24:08,077 --> 00:24:10,443
So I followed my instincts.
471
00:24:10,647 --> 00:24:13,377
Hey, I'm totally lost.
Can you help me?
472
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:14,811
- But I wasn't lost.
- Yeah.
473
00:24:15,018 --> 00:24:16,883
I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury
was talking about.
474
00:24:17,086 --> 00:24:20,055
It's a factorial, so you multiply
each one by N.
475
00:24:20,256 --> 00:24:21,484
Wrong.
476
00:24:21,691 --> 00:24:22,988
Is that the summation?
477
00:24:24,327 --> 00:24:25,658
Yeah, they're the same thing.
478
00:24:25,862 --> 00:24:27,727
Wrong. He was so wrong.
479
00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:31,161
Thanks. I... I get it now.
480
00:24:31,367 --> 00:24:35,030
Lights, please.
OK. See you guys tomorrow.
481
00:24:36,939 --> 00:24:39,464
We're having a Halloween party
at my friend Chris' tonight.
482
00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:41,943
You wanna come?
483
00:24:42,245 --> 00:24:43,803
Yeah, sure.
484
00:24:44,013 --> 00:24:46,243
Great. Here's where it is.
485
00:24:46,449 --> 00:24:48,747
It's a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
486
00:24:49,118 --> 00:24:50,551
OK.
487
00:24:50,753 --> 00:24:53,881
That flier admits one person only,
488
00:24:54,090 --> 00:24:56,183
so don't bring some
other guy with you.
489
00:24:56,626 --> 00:24:58,218
"Grool."
490
00:24:58,861 --> 00:25:01,159
I meant to say "cool"
and then I started to say "great".
491
00:25:01,464 --> 00:25:04,490
Right. Well... grool.
492
00:25:05,435 --> 00:25:07,733
See you tonight.
493
00:25:09,072 --> 00:25:12,098
Hey, Africa. You staying
for the Mathletes meeting?
494
00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,339
Yeah, I'll be right back.
495
00:25:16,079 --> 00:25:19,913
OK, I lied. But I had to go home
and work on my costume.
496
00:25:20,450 --> 00:25:23,442
In the regular world, Halloween is
when children dress up in costumes
497
00:25:23,653 --> 00:25:24,984
and beg for candy.
498
00:25:25,188 --> 00:25:27,748
In Girl World, Halloween
is the one nigth a year
499
00:25:27,957 --> 00:25:29,549
when a girl can dress
like a total slut
500
00:25:29,759 --> 00:25:31,727
and no other girls can
say anything about it.
501
00:25:31,928 --> 00:25:33,759
The hard-core girls just wear lingerie
502
00:25:33,963 --> 00:25:35,555
and some form of animal ears.
503
00:25:35,765 --> 00:25:37,562
Doesn't she look great, honey?
504
00:25:39,769 --> 00:25:42,602
- What are you?
- I'm a mouse.
505
00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:46,598
Unfortunately, no one told
me about the slut rule.
506
00:25:46,976 --> 00:25:49,536
So I showed up like this.
507
00:25:55,485 --> 00:25:56,975
Hey.
508
00:25:58,955 --> 00:26:01,719
Yes! Yes!
509
00:26:06,662 --> 00:26:08,152
Hey.
510
00:26:08,698 --> 00:26:10,461
Why are you dressed so scary?
511
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:12,629
It's Halloween.
512
00:26:12,835 --> 00:26:14,325
Have you seen Jason?
513
00:26:14,670 --> 00:26:16,763
You know who's looking fine tonight?
514
00:26:16,973 --> 00:26:18,998
Seth Mosakowski.
515
00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:22,974
- OK, you did not just say that.
- What? He's a good kisser.
516
00:26:23,179 --> 00:26:24,510
He's your cousin.
517
00:26:24,881 --> 00:26:26,473
Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
518
00:26:26,883 --> 00:26:28,851
- Right.
- So you have your cousins
519
00:26:29,051 --> 00:26:30,712
and then you have your first cousins,
520
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,480
- then you have your second cousins...
- No, honey.
521
00:26:34,157 --> 00:26:35,522
That's not right, is it?
522
00:26:35,725 --> 00:26:37,317
That is so not right.
523
00:26:37,527 --> 00:26:39,518
- Hey!
- Hey.
524
00:26:39,729 --> 00:26:41,196
You made it.
525
00:26:41,397 --> 00:26:45,356
And you are... a zombie bride.
526
00:26:45,568 --> 00:26:47,263
An "ex-wife".
527
00:26:47,470 --> 00:26:49,495
Love it. Can I get you
something to drink?
528
00:26:49,705 --> 00:26:51,172
- Yeah.
- Be right back.
529
00:26:51,374 --> 00:26:53,103
Thanks.
530
00:26:54,710 --> 00:26:56,200
Karen, stop it.
531
00:26:56,612 --> 00:26:58,842
- Don't, Karen...
- Hey, Seth!
532
00:27:02,518 --> 00:27:03,780
Hey.
533
00:27:03,986 --> 00:27:05,681
Oh, no.
534
00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:07,219
Didn't anybody tell you?
535
00:27:07,423 --> 00:27:08,981
You were supposed
to wear a costume.
536
00:27:09,358 --> 00:27:12,327
Shut up. I need to talk to you.
537
00:27:12,528 --> 00:27:14,894
- You know that girl Cady?
- Yeah, she's cool.
538
00:27:15,097 --> 00:27:16,394
I invited her tonight.
539
00:27:17,733 --> 00:27:20,167
Well, be careful because
she has a huge crush on you.
540
00:27:20,570 --> 00:27:22,731
Really? How do you know?
541
00:27:23,472 --> 00:27:25,201
Because she told me.
542
00:27:25,408 --> 00:27:27,876
She tells everybody.
It's kind of cute, actually.
543
00:27:28,077 --> 00:27:30,739
She's like a little girl. She, like,
writes all over her notebook,
544
00:27:30,947 --> 00:27:32,278
"Mrs. Aaron Samuels."
545
00:27:32,648 --> 00:27:34,946
And she made this T-shirt that says
"I heart Aaron"
546
00:27:35,151 --> 00:27:36,982
and she wears it
under all her clothes.
547
00:27:37,186 --> 00:27:39,416
- Oh, come on.
- Well, who can blame her?
548
00:27:39,622 --> 00:27:40,987
I mean, you're gorgeous.
549
00:27:42,692 --> 00:27:45,217
And OK, look, I'm not saying
she's a stalker,
550
00:27:45,428 --> 00:27:47,953
but she saved
this Kleenex you used
551
00:27:48,164 --> 00:27:51,600
and she said she's gonna do
some kind of African voodoo with it
552
00:27:51,801 --> 00:27:53,462
to make you like her.
553
00:27:54,036 --> 00:27:55,264
What?
554
00:27:59,642 --> 00:28:00,870
This was it.
555
00:28:01,077 --> 00:28:03,443
Regina said she would talk
to Aaron for me, and now she was.
556
00:28:03,646 --> 00:28:08,083
I know she's kind of socially retarded
and weird, but she's my friend,
557
00:28:08,284 --> 00:28:10,912
so just promise me
you won't make fun of her.
558
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:12,678
Of course I'm not gonna
make fun of her.
559
00:28:13,322 --> 00:28:14,949
How could Janis hate Regina?
560
00:28:15,157 --> 00:28:17,216
Ste was such a good...
561
00:28:18,227 --> 00:28:19,455
Slut!
562
00:28:26,068 --> 00:28:28,559
What are you doing?
You broke up with me.
563
00:28:28,905 --> 00:28:31,601
That's crazy. Why would
I break up with you?
564
00:28:31,807 --> 00:28:34,002
You're so hot.
565
00:28:40,917 --> 00:28:42,646
That's a scary mask, bro.
566
00:28:43,119 --> 00:28:44,711
I had never felt this feeling before.
567
00:28:44,921 --> 00:28:46,582
I could tear my heartbeat in my ears.
568
00:28:46,789 --> 00:28:48,916
My stomach felt like it was
going to fall out my butt.
569
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:52,185
I had this lump in my throat like
after you dry-swallow a big pill.
570
00:28:52,395 --> 00:28:55,125
I hated Regina. I hated her!
571
00:29:11,213 --> 00:29:12,703
She took him back.
572
00:29:12,915 --> 00:29:14,576
Regina took Aaron back.
573
00:29:14,951 --> 00:29:17,977
- Oh, no, Cady.
- Why would she do that?
574
00:29:18,187 --> 00:29:19,814
Because she's a life-ruiner.
575
00:29:20,022 --> 00:29:21,751
She ruins people's lives.
576
00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:24,051
When we were 13, she made
people sign this petition
577
00:29:24,260 --> 00:29:26,125
- saying that Janis was...
- Damian! Please!
578
00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:28,194
Look, she's not gonna get away
with this again, OK?
579
00:29:28,397 --> 00:29:31,059
- We're gonna do something.
- We are?
580
00:29:32,935 --> 00:29:34,926
Regina George is an evil dictator.
581
00:29:35,438 --> 00:29:37,497
Now, how do you overthrow a dictator?
582
00:29:37,707 --> 00:29:40,107
You cut off her resources.
583
00:29:40,309 --> 00:29:43,437
Regina would be nothing without
her high-status man candy...
584
00:29:45,014 --> 00:29:46,538
...technically good physique...
585
00:29:48,217 --> 00:29:50,412
...and ignorant band of loyal followers.
586
00:29:52,855 --> 00:29:55,517
Now, Cady, if we want this to work,
587
00:29:55,725 --> 00:29:58,125
you are gonna have to keep hanging
out with them like nothing is wrong.
588
00:29:58,327 --> 00:29:59,954
Can you do it?
589
00:30:00,262 --> 00:30:01,524
I can do it.
590
00:30:01,731 --> 00:30:04,598
OK, let's rock this bitch.
591
00:30:06,135 --> 00:30:09,161
Pretending like nothing was wrong
turned out to be surprisingly easy.
592
00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:12,398
Regina wanted me to tell you that she
was trying to hook you up with Aaron,
593
00:30:12,608 --> 00:30:14,803
but he was just interested
in getting her back.
594
00:30:15,011 --> 00:30:16,342
And that's not Regina's fault.
595
00:30:16,545 --> 00:30:18,877
- No, I know.
- OK, so you're not mad at Regina?
596
00:30:19,115 --> 00:30:20,639
- God, no.
- Oh, OK, good.
597
00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,547
Because Regina wanted me
to give you this.
598
00:30:28,024 --> 00:30:29,457
It's called
the South Beach Fat Flush,
599
00:30:29,658 --> 00:30:31,888
and all you drink is
cranberry juice for 72 hours.
600
00:30:32,094 --> 00:30:33,322
This isn't even cranberry juice.
601
00:30:33,529 --> 00:30:35,622
It's cranberry juice cocktail.
It's all sugar.
602
00:30:35,831 --> 00:30:38,925
- I wanna lose 3 pounds.
- You're crazy.
603
00:30:40,002 --> 00:30:43,494
Why do you wear your hair like that?
You hair looks so sexy pushed back.
604
00:30:43,806 --> 00:30:46,798
Cady, will you please tell him
his hair looks sexy pushed back.
605
00:30:47,009 --> 00:30:49,739
Regina was dangling Aaron
in front of me on purpose.
606
00:30:49,945 --> 00:30:52,345
I knew how this would be
settled in the animal world.
607
00:31:02,058 --> 00:31:03,286
But this was Girl World.
608
00:31:03,492 --> 00:31:05,255
Your hair looks sexy pushed back.
609
00:31:06,729 --> 00:31:10,256
And in Girl World,
all the figthing had to be sneaky.
610
00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,061
All this cranberry juice
is making me break out.
611
00:31:15,538 --> 00:31:17,904
Wait. I have this really good
skin stuff I'll bring you.
612
00:31:18,107 --> 00:31:19,074
OK.
613
00:31:19,608 --> 00:31:22,975
We kept our eyes open
for opportunities for sabotage.
614
00:31:29,285 --> 00:31:31,116
Regina.
615
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:32,810
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
616
00:31:37,293 --> 00:31:38,726
- Hey.
- Hey.
617
00:31:43,299 --> 00:31:45,961
Your face smells like peppermint.
618
00:32:19,401 --> 00:32:20,868
This is ass, you guys.
619
00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:25,270
It's been a month, and all we've done
is make Regina's face smell like a foot.
620
00:32:25,474 --> 00:32:26,702
I've been really busy with choir.
621
00:32:26,909 --> 00:32:28,467
We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners.
622
00:32:28,677 --> 00:32:30,406
We crack Gretchen,
and then we crack the lock
623
00:32:30,613 --> 00:32:32,308
on Regina's whole dirty history.
624
00:32:32,515 --> 00:32:34,039
- Say "crack" again.
- Crack.
625
00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:36,241
- All right, let's reconvene tonight.
- I can't.
626
00:32:36,452 --> 00:32:38,920
I have to go to Regina's
to practise for the talent show.
627
00:32:39,121 --> 00:32:41,988
- We're doing a dance to this song...
- "Jingle Bell Rock."
628
00:32:42,191 --> 00:32:43,419
You guys know that song?
629
00:32:43,626 --> 00:32:46,117
Everybody in the English-speaking
world knows that song.
630
00:32:46,328 --> 00:32:47,955
They do it every year.
631
00:32:48,164 --> 00:32:50,064
Well, I have to learn it.
632
00:32:50,266 --> 00:32:51,961
Go.
633
00:32:52,268 --> 00:32:55,135
- Hey.
- Why were you talking to Janis Ian?
634
00:32:55,337 --> 00:32:56,736
I don't know, I mean, she's so weird.
635
00:32:56,939 --> 00:32:59,772
She just, you know, came up to me
and started talking to me about crack.
636
00:33:00,576 --> 00:33:01,873
She's so pathetic.
637
00:33:02,511 --> 00:33:04,502
Let me tell you something
about Janis Ian.
638
00:33:04,713 --> 00:33:06,237
We were best friends
in middle school.
639
00:33:06,448 --> 00:33:07,676
I know, right?
640
00:33:07,883 --> 00:33:10,716
It's so embarrassing.
I don't even... Whatever.
641
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,514
So then in eighth grade, I started
going out with my first boyfriend,
642
00:33:13,722 --> 00:33:16,748
Kyle, who was totally gorgeous,
but then he moved to Indiana.
643
00:33:16,959 --> 00:33:19,359
And Janis was, like,
weirdly jealous of him.
644
00:33:19,562 --> 00:33:21,723
Like, if I would blow her off
to hang out with Kyle,
645
00:33:21,931 --> 00:33:23,922
she'd be like,
"Why didn't you call me back?"
646
00:33:24,133 --> 00:33:27,000
And I'd be like, "Why are you
so obsessed with me?"
647
00:33:27,203 --> 00:33:29,967
So then, for my birthday party,
which was an all-girls pool party,
648
00:33:30,172 --> 00:33:34,108
I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you,
because I think you're a lesbian."
649
00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:36,710
I mean, I couldn't
have a lesbian at my party.
650
00:33:36,912 --> 00:33:38,971
There are gonna be girls there
in their bathing suits.
651
00:33:39,181 --> 00:33:40,671
I mean, right?
She was a lesbian.
652
00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:43,210
So then her mom called my mom
and started yelling at her.
653
00:33:43,419 --> 00:33:44,784
It was so retarded.
654
00:33:44,987 --> 00:33:47,251
And then she dropped out of school
because no one would talk to her.
655
00:33:47,456 --> 00:33:49,356
When she came back
in the fall for high school,
656
00:33:49,558 --> 00:33:52,049
all of her hair was cut off
and she was totally weird,
657
00:33:52,261 --> 00:33:53,592
and now I guess she's on crack.
658
00:33:55,264 --> 00:33:57,095
Oh, my God!
I love your skirt.
659
00:33:57,299 --> 00:33:59,028
Where did you get it?
660
00:33:59,235 --> 00:34:00,793
It was my mom's in the '80s.
661
00:34:01,237 --> 00:34:03,398
Vintage. So adorable.
662
00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,301
Thanks.
663
00:34:05,874 --> 00:34:08,035
That is the ugliest F-ing skirt
I've ever seen.
664
00:34:09,645 --> 00:34:12,273
Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.
Where did you get it?
665
00:34:15,651 --> 00:34:17,414
So are you gonna send
any candy canes?
666
00:34:17,620 --> 00:34:19,884
No. I don't send them,
I just get them.
667
00:34:20,389 --> 00:34:22,755
So you better send me one, byotch.
668
00:34:22,958 --> 00:34:24,186
Love you.
669
00:34:25,194 --> 00:34:27,094
I was definitely sending her one.
670
00:34:27,296 --> 00:34:29,924
I was gonna use three candy canes
to crack Gretchen Wieners.
671
00:34:30,132 --> 00:34:31,360
Three, please.
672
00:34:31,567 --> 00:34:35,230
"Why, Man, he doth bestride
the narrow world like a colossus"
673
00:34:35,437 --> 00:34:37,098
might translate into
674
00:34:37,306 --> 00:34:39,672
"Why is he so huge
and obnoxious?"
675
00:34:42,544 --> 00:34:45,741
- Candy cane-grams!
- OK, hurry up.
676
00:34:45,948 --> 00:34:48,576
Taylor Zimmerman?
Two for you.
677
00:34:48,784 --> 00:34:50,274
Glenn Cocco?
678
00:34:50,486 --> 00:34:54,183
Four for you, Glenn Cocco.
You go, Glenn Cocco.
679
00:34:54,390 --> 00:34:56,449
And Cady Heron.
680
00:34:56,659 --> 00:34:57,956
Do we have a Cady Heron here?
681
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,685
- It's Cady.
- Oh, Cady, here you go.
682
00:35:00,896 --> 00:35:04,297
One for you. And none
for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.
683
00:35:06,368 --> 00:35:07,596
Who's that from?
684
00:35:07,803 --> 00:35:10,397
"Thanks for being such
a great friend. Love, Regina."
685
00:35:10,606 --> 00:35:12,267
That's so sweet.
686
00:35:12,608 --> 00:35:14,974
OK, back to Caesar.
687
00:35:15,377 --> 00:35:17,345
Once Gretchen thought
Regina was mad at her,
688
00:35:17,546 --> 00:35:19,343
the secrets started pouring out.
689
00:35:19,548 --> 00:35:21,573
All I had to do was wait for one
we could use.
690
00:35:21,784 --> 00:35:23,251
Thank you.
691
00:35:24,887 --> 00:35:27,947
Welcome to the North Shore
High School winter talent show.
692
00:35:28,157 --> 00:35:30,819
Let me hear you make some noise.
693
00:35:35,731 --> 00:35:36,959
All right, settle down.
694
00:35:38,434 --> 00:35:41,767
Our first act calls himself
a star on the rise.
695
00:35:41,970 --> 00:35:44,234
Let's hear it for Damian.
696
00:35:50,145 --> 00:35:52,045
Don't look at me.
697
00:35:52,915 --> 00:35:56,851
Every day is so wonderful
698
00:35:57,286 --> 00:36:01,347
I mean, why would Regina send
you guys candy canes and not me?
699
00:36:01,557 --> 00:36:03,024
Maybe she forgot about you.
700
00:36:03,225 --> 00:36:05,090
Yeah, Regina has been acting
kind of weird lately.
701
00:36:05,294 --> 00:36:06,989
I mean, is something bothering her?
702
00:36:07,196 --> 00:36:10,359
Well, I mean, her parents totally
don't sleep in the same bed anymore,
703
00:36:10,566 --> 00:36:11,828
if that's what you mean.
704
00:36:12,768 --> 00:36:15,328
Oh, my God.
Don't tell her I told you that.
705
00:36:15,537 --> 00:36:20,406
I am beautiful in every single way
706
00:36:20,609 --> 00:36:23,879
Yes, words can't bring me down
707
00:36:23,879 --> 00:36:24,868
Yes, words can't bring me down
708
00:36:25,814 --> 00:36:29,011
Don't you bring me down today
709
00:36:29,218 --> 00:36:31,379
I mean, no offense,
710
00:36:31,587 --> 00:36:33,214
but why would she send
you a candy cane?
711
00:36:33,422 --> 00:36:34,855
She doesn't even
like you that much.
712
00:36:35,891 --> 00:36:37,119
Maybe she feels weird around me
713
00:36:37,326 --> 00:36:40,591
because I'm the only person
that knows about her nose job.
714
00:36:41,497 --> 00:36:44,330
Oh, my God.
Pretend you didn't hear that.
715
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,267
Yo, yo, yo
716
00:36:46,468 --> 00:36:50,336
All you sucker MCs
Ain't got nothing on me
717
00:36:50,539 --> 00:36:52,530
From my grades to my lines
You can't touch Kevin G
718
00:36:52,741 --> 00:36:54,868
I'm a Mathlete
So nerd is inferred
719
00:36:55,077 --> 00:36:57,102
But forget what you heard
I'm like James Bond the Third
720
00:36:57,312 --> 00:36:59,007
Shaken not stirred
I'm Kevin Gnapoor
721
00:36:59,214 --> 00:37:00,909
The G is silent
when I sneak in your door
722
00:37:01,116 --> 00:37:03,107
And make love to your woman
On the bathroom floor
723
00:37:03,318 --> 00:37:05,377
I don't play it like Staggy
You'll know it was me
724
00:37:05,587 --> 00:37:07,646
Because the next time you see her
She'll be like
725
00:37:07,856 --> 00:37:10,757
- Kevin G!
- Thank you, Kevin, that's enough.
726
00:37:10,959 --> 00:37:12,483
Happy holidays, everybody.
727
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,995
K.G. And the Power of Three.
728
00:37:20,869 --> 00:37:22,632
That was something.
729
00:37:23,338 --> 00:37:25,806
Does it bother you that they still
use your original choreography?
730
00:37:26,008 --> 00:37:27,236
Shut up.
731
00:37:27,443 --> 00:37:29,070
Damn.
732
00:37:29,344 --> 00:37:30,902
- What?
- I'd rather see you out there
733
00:37:31,113 --> 00:37:32,341
shaking that thing.
734
00:37:35,317 --> 00:37:36,579
Gretchen, switch sides with Cady.
735
00:37:37,386 --> 00:37:38,751
But I'm always on your left.
736
00:37:38,954 --> 00:37:42,151
That was when there were three of us,
and now the tallest go in the middle.
737
00:37:42,357 --> 00:37:44,518
But the whole dance
will be backwards.
738
00:37:44,726 --> 00:37:46,250
I'm always on your left.
739
00:37:46,462 --> 00:37:49,431
And right now you're getting
on my last nerve. Switch.
740
00:37:51,066 --> 00:37:54,001
And finally,
please welcome to the stage
741
00:37:54,203 --> 00:37:57,195
Santa's Helpers doing
"Jingle Bell Rock".
742
00:38:08,484 --> 00:38:12,318
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
743
00:38:12,521 --> 00:38:16,082
Jingle bells swing
And jingle bells ring
744
00:38:16,291 --> 00:38:19,624
Snowing and blowing
Up bustels of fun
745
00:38:20,362 --> 00:38:23,889
Now the jingle top has begun
746
00:38:24,099 --> 00:38:27,500
Jingle bell, jingle bell
Jingle bell rock
747
00:38:27,703 --> 00:38:31,366
Jingle bells chime
In jingle bell time
748
00:38:31,573 --> 00:38:35,509
Dancing and prancing
In Jingle Bell Square
749
00:38:35,711 --> 00:38:37,042
In the fr...
750
00:38:45,087 --> 00:38:46,384
Jason?
751
00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:56,829
What a brigth time
It's the rigth time
752
00:38:57,032 --> 00:38:59,865
To rock the nigth away
753
00:39:00,536 --> 00:39:05,269
Jingle bell time
Is a swell time
754
00:39:05,474 --> 00:39:08,739
To go riding in a one-torse sleigh
755
00:39:08,944 --> 00:39:12,380
Giddyap jingle torse
Pick up your feet
756
00:39:12,581 --> 00:39:15,948
Jingle around the clock
757
00:39:16,151 --> 00:39:19,780
Mix and mingle in a jingling beat
758
00:39:19,988 --> 00:39:21,683
That's the jingle bell
759
00:39:21,890 --> 00:39:23,380
That's the jingle bell
760
00:39:23,592 --> 00:39:26,891
That's the jingle bell rock
761
00:39:41,643 --> 00:39:42,871
That was the best it ever went!
762
00:39:43,078 --> 00:39:45,137
- That was awesome.
- Lip gloss.
763
00:39:45,714 --> 00:39:47,739
- Hey, good job, Africa.
- Thanks.
764
00:39:48,317 --> 00:39:50,285
Cady's blushing. Oh, my God.
765
00:39:50,485 --> 00:39:52,851
- You totally have a crush on that guy.
- No, I don't.
766
00:39:53,055 --> 00:39:54,784
That's why you wanted
to join the Mathletes.
767
00:39:54,990 --> 00:39:56,651
Mathletes? You hate math.
768
00:39:56,858 --> 00:39:58,485
Look how red she is.
769
00:39:58,694 --> 00:40:00,924
You love him. And he totally
complimented you.
770
00:40:01,129 --> 00:40:02,756
That is so fetch.
771
00:40:03,198 --> 00:40:05,496
Gretchen, stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
772
00:40:05,701 --> 00:40:07,168
It's not going to happen.
773
00:40:12,507 --> 00:40:14,839
Why should Caesar get to stomp
around like a giant
774
00:40:15,043 --> 00:40:18,979
while the rest of us try not to get
smushed under his big feet?
775
00:40:19,181 --> 00:40:20,773
What's so great about Caesar?
776
00:40:20,983 --> 00:40:22,644
Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.
777
00:40:22,851 --> 00:40:24,478
OK, Brutus is just
as smart as Caesar.
778
00:40:24,686 --> 00:40:27,052
People totally like Brutus just
as much as they like Caesar.
779
00:40:27,255 --> 00:40:28,745
And when did it become
OK for one person
780
00:40:28,957 --> 00:40:30,219
to be the boss of everybody?
781
00:40:30,425 --> 00:40:31,892
Because that's not
what Rome is about!
782
00:40:32,094 --> 00:40:34,892
We should totally just stab Caesar!"
783
00:40:36,698 --> 00:40:38,928
Gretchen Wieners had cracked.
784
00:40:39,801 --> 00:40:43,430
OK, if you even knew how mean
she really is.
785
00:40:43,972 --> 00:40:47,032
You know that I'm not allowed
to wear hoop earrings, right?
786
00:40:47,242 --> 00:40:50,370
Yeah. Two years ago, she told me
that hoop earrings were her thing
787
00:40:50,579 --> 00:40:52,274
and that I wasn't allowed
to wear them anymore.
788
00:40:52,614 --> 00:40:54,809
And then for my Hanukkah,
my parents got me this pair
789
00:40:55,017 --> 00:40:57,781
of really expensive white-gold hoops.
790
00:40:57,986 --> 00:41:00,887
And I had to pretend
like I didn't even like them,
791
00:41:01,323 --> 00:41:02,551
and it was so sad.
792
00:41:03,225 --> 00:41:04,749
And you know she cheats on Aaron?
793
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,155
Yes. Every Thursday he thinks
she's doing SAT prep.
794
00:41:07,362 --> 00:41:10,092
But really, she's hooking up with
Shane Oman in the projection room
795
00:41:10,298 --> 00:41:11,993
above the auditorium,
796
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:14,498
and I never told anybody that,
because...
797
00:41:14,703 --> 00:41:18,161
...l'm such a good friend.
798
00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:24,308
Jackpot. Gretchen's secret
had put the plan back in motion.
799
00:41:24,513 --> 00:41:26,378
After Christmas break,
we tried every Thursday
800
00:41:26,581 --> 00:41:28,708
to help Aaron catch Regina
in the act.
801
00:42:00,382 --> 00:42:01,610
Hey.
802
00:42:01,817 --> 00:42:03,307
Hey, what's up?
803
00:42:03,518 --> 00:42:05,076
My purse!
804
00:42:05,887 --> 00:42:07,582
Looks like he's headed
for the projection room
805
00:42:07,789 --> 00:42:09,416
above the auditorium!
806
00:42:19,101 --> 00:42:20,932
Coach Carr?
807
00:42:22,204 --> 00:42:23,899
Trang Pak?
808
00:42:24,106 --> 00:42:24,573
Guys, why did we think
we could do this? We're amateurs.
809
00:42:24,573 --> 00:42:26,336
Guys, why did we think
we could do this? We're amateurs.
810
00:42:26,541 --> 00:42:29,169
No, we just have to regroup.
Think outside our box.
811
00:42:29,377 --> 00:42:31,004
What are K�lteen bars?
812
00:42:31,213 --> 00:42:33,113
They're these weird
Swedish nutrition bars.
813
00:42:33,315 --> 00:42:36,250
My mom used to give them to the kids
in Africa to help them gain weight.
814
00:42:40,355 --> 00:42:43,222
They're these weird nutrition bars
my mom uses to lose weight.
815
00:42:43,425 --> 00:42:45,120
Give me it.
816
00:42:47,963 --> 00:42:50,431
It's all in, like, Swedish or something.
817
00:42:50,899 --> 00:42:53,060
Yeah, you know, there's some
weird ingredient in them
818
00:42:53,268 --> 00:42:55,031
that's not legal in the U.S. yet.
819
00:42:55,237 --> 00:42:57,137
- Ephedrine?
- No.
820
00:42:57,339 --> 00:42:59,466
- Phentermine.
- No.
821
00:43:01,009 --> 00:43:04,410
It burns carbs.
It just burns up all your carbs.
822
00:43:04,746 --> 00:43:07,112
I really wanna lose 3 pounds.
823
00:43:08,383 --> 00:43:09,816
Oh, my God,
what are you talking about?
824
00:43:10,018 --> 00:43:11,280
You're so skinny.
825
00:43:11,486 --> 00:43:12,851
Shut up.
826
00:43:13,622 --> 00:43:15,249
The weird thing about
hanging out with Regina
827
00:43:15,457 --> 00:43:17,220
was that I could hate her,
and at the same time,
828
00:43:17,425 --> 00:43:18,756
I still wanted her to like me.
829
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,326
OK. You have really
good eyebrows.
830
00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,157
- Thanks.
- Move.
831
00:43:23,498 --> 00:43:26,092
Same with Gretchen.
The meaner Regina was to her,
832
00:43:26,301 --> 00:43:28,462
the more Gretchen
tried to win Regina back.
833
00:43:28,670 --> 00:43:31,070
Ste knew it was better to be
in The Plastics, hating life
834
00:43:31,273 --> 00:43:32,934
than to not be in at all.
835
00:43:33,375 --> 00:43:36,344
Because being with The Plastics
was like being famous.
836
00:43:36,878 --> 00:43:38,140
People looked at you all the time,
837
00:43:38,346 --> 00:43:40,610
and everybody
just knew stuff about you.
838
00:43:40,816 --> 00:43:42,977
That new girl
moved here from Africa.
839
00:43:43,185 --> 00:43:45,585
I saw Cady Heron wearing
Army pants and flip-flops,
840
00:43:45,787 --> 00:43:48,347
so I bought Army pants
and flip-flops.
841
00:43:48,557 --> 00:43:50,081
That Cady girl is hot.
842
00:43:50,292 --> 00:43:52,260
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
843
00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:55,190
I hear Regina George
is dating Aaron Samuels again.
844
00:43:55,397 --> 00:43:58,264
The two were seen canoodling
at Chris Eisel's Halloween party.
845
00:43:58,466 --> 00:44:00,696
They've been inseparable ever since.
846
00:44:11,313 --> 00:44:12,712
I was a woman possessed.
847
00:44:12,914 --> 00:44:15,576
I spent about 80 percent
of my time talking about Regina.
848
00:44:15,784 --> 00:44:17,115
And the other 20 percent
of the time,
849
00:44:17,319 --> 00:44:19,014
I was praying for someone
else to bring her up
850
00:44:19,221 --> 00:44:21,018
so I could talk about her more.
851
00:44:21,223 --> 00:44:23,418
She's not even that good-looking
if you really look at her.
852
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,525
I don't know.
Now that's she's getting fatter,
853
00:44:25,727 --> 00:44:27,160
she's got pretty big jugs.
854
00:44:27,362 --> 00:44:28,954
I could hear people
getting bored with me.
855
00:44:29,164 --> 00:44:32,600
But I couldn't stop. It just kept
coming up like word vomit.
856
00:44:33,001 --> 00:44:36,334
I have this theory that if you cut all her
hair off, she'd look like a British man.
857
00:44:36,538 --> 00:44:39,507
Yeah, I know.
You told me that one before.
858
00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:41,303
Hey, I'm having an art show.
859
00:44:41,509 --> 00:44:43,568
So why don't you take
a night off from your double life.
860
00:44:43,778 --> 00:44:46,178
- I want you to see it.
- Coolness.
861
00:44:47,849 --> 00:44:49,077
What is that smell?
862
00:44:49,284 --> 00:44:51,115
Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.
863
00:44:51,319 --> 00:44:53,219
You smell like a baby prostitute.
864
00:44:53,421 --> 00:44:54,683
Thanks.
865
00:44:56,091 --> 00:44:59,356
Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse
I could to talk to Aaron.
866
00:44:59,561 --> 00:45:02,189
I don't get this.
Do you get any of this?
867
00:45:02,631 --> 00:45:04,428
Nice job, Cady.
868
00:45:05,567 --> 00:45:07,694
Kind of seems like you get it.
869
00:45:07,969 --> 00:45:10,699
If I was gonna keep this going,
I was gonna have to really commit.
870
00:45:13,441 --> 00:45:14,874
Not your best.
871
00:45:15,677 --> 00:45:17,770
Damn, Africa, what happened?
872
00:45:17,979 --> 00:45:20,675
- How'd you do?
- Not so good.
873
00:45:20,882 --> 00:45:22,474
You know, I think I need a tutor.
874
00:45:23,218 --> 00:45:26,153
I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get
together after school or something.
875
00:45:26,354 --> 00:45:28,117
Do you think Regina would mind?
876
00:45:28,323 --> 00:45:29,881
No. You guys are friends.
877
00:45:32,594 --> 00:45:34,585
Well, maybe we just won't tell her.
878
00:45:35,096 --> 00:45:37,326
So, what did you get for this one?
879
00:45:37,532 --> 00:45:39,329
Well, the first time I did it,
I got a zero.
880
00:45:39,534 --> 00:45:42,367
- Wrong.
- But then when I checked it, I got...
881
00:45:42,570 --> 00:45:44,094
...one.
- There you go.
882
00:45:44,306 --> 00:45:45,898
I got one too.
883
00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:49,066
Yeah, you have to check it
because sometimes the product
884
00:45:49,277 --> 00:45:51,768
of two negative integers
is a positive number.
885
00:45:52,247 --> 00:45:54,442
Yeah, like negative four
and negative six.
886
00:45:55,116 --> 00:45:57,778
That's right. That's good.
887
00:45:57,986 --> 00:46:00,079
Well, you're a good tutor.
888
00:46:08,463 --> 00:46:12,797
Man, look, I... I can't do this.
889
00:46:13,001 --> 00:46:15,765
- It's not fair to Regina.
- Why do you like her?
890
00:46:15,971 --> 00:46:18,667
Look, I know she can be really
mean sometimes, but...
891
00:46:18,873 --> 00:46:20,773
- Then why do you like her?
- Why do you?
892
00:46:21,343 --> 00:46:23,038
Look, there's good and bad
to everybody. Right?
893
00:46:23,244 --> 00:46:24,939
Regina's just...
894
00:46:25,146 --> 00:46:27,979
- She's just more up-front about it.
- Oh, no. It was coming up.
895
00:46:28,183 --> 00:46:29,912
The word vomit.
I didn't mean to say it, but...
896
00:46:30,118 --> 00:46:31,881
She's cheating on you!
897
00:46:34,055 --> 00:46:35,488
What?
898
00:46:40,061 --> 00:46:42,359
Did he say why?
899
00:46:42,564 --> 00:46:44,464
Somebody told him
about Shane Oman.
900
00:46:45,033 --> 00:46:46,364
Who?
901
00:46:46,568 --> 00:46:48,058
He said some guy
on the baseball team.
902
00:46:48,269 --> 00:46:50,396
Baseball team?
903
00:46:50,605 --> 00:46:54,006
I gave him everything.
I was half a virgin when I met him.
904
00:46:54,209 --> 00:46:55,733
You wanna do something fun?
905
00:46:56,578 --> 00:46:58,136
You wanna go to Taco Bell?
906
00:46:58,346 --> 00:47:01,679
I can't go to Taco Bell,
I'm on an all-carb diet.
907
00:47:01,883 --> 00:47:04,716
God, Karen, you are so stupid!
908
00:47:04,919 --> 00:47:06,409
Regina, wait. Talk to me.
909
00:47:06,621 --> 00:47:09,715
- Nobody understands me.
- I understand you.
910
00:47:10,158 --> 00:47:11,750
You're not stupid, Karen.
911
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,155
No. I am, actually.
912
00:47:14,362 --> 00:47:16,557
I'm failing almost everything.
913
00:47:16,765 --> 00:47:18,699
Well, there must be something
you're good at.
914
00:47:20,502 --> 00:47:22,265
I can put my whole fist
in my mouth.
915
00:47:22,470 --> 00:47:23,698
Wanna see?
916
00:47:23,905 --> 00:47:25,736
No. That's OK.
917
00:47:25,940 --> 00:47:27,202
Anything else?
918
00:47:28,209 --> 00:47:30,040
I'm kind of psychic.
919
00:47:30,245 --> 00:47:32,110
I have a fifth sense.
920
00:47:32,881 --> 00:47:36,180
- What do you mean?
- It's like I have ESPN or something.
921
00:47:36,718 --> 00:47:40,017
My breasts can always tell
when it's gonna rain.
922
00:47:41,489 --> 00:47:44,049
Really? That's amazing.
923
00:47:44,993 --> 00:47:47,928
Well, they can tell when it's raining.
924
00:47:51,933 --> 00:47:53,764
I have to admit,
I was mildly horrified
925
00:47:53,968 --> 00:47:56,266
when Aaron didn't immediately
ask me to be his girlfriend.
926
00:47:56,471 --> 00:47:58,701
I mean, I know he was sad,
but how much time did he need?
927
00:47:58,907 --> 00:48:00,397
Regina had moved on.
928
00:48:03,211 --> 00:48:05,577
Do you guys need anything?
Some snacks?
929
00:48:06,114 --> 00:48:07,479
A condom?
930
00:48:07,682 --> 00:48:11,118
Let me know.
Oh, God love you.
931
00:48:11,319 --> 00:48:13,048
But overall, the plan
was going pretty well.
932
00:48:13,254 --> 00:48:15,381
Aaron had dumped Regina,
and she was unknowingly
933
00:48:15,590 --> 00:48:17,251
eating 5,000 calories a day.
934
00:48:17,459 --> 00:48:19,518
It was time to turn our attention
to the army of skanks.
935
00:48:21,162 --> 00:48:23,932
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:
936
00:48:23,932 --> 00:48:25,763
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling Queen are as follows:
937
00:48:26,134 --> 00:48:28,329
Regina George.
938
00:48:29,871 --> 00:48:31,896
Gretchen Wieners.
939
00:48:33,942 --> 00:48:35,170
Janis Ian.
940
00:48:36,010 --> 00:48:38,171
What is happening to the world?
941
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:40,313
And the final nominee...
942
00:48:40,515 --> 00:48:43,006
I couldn't help myself.
It was so easy.
943
00:48:43,218 --> 00:48:44,446
... is Cady Heron.
944
00:48:45,186 --> 00:48:47,620
Damian, you put me in there too?
That's not part of the plan.
945
00:48:47,822 --> 00:48:49,449
I didn't put you in there.
946
00:48:49,657 --> 00:48:51,750
You mean I'm really nominated?
947
00:48:55,697 --> 00:48:58,257
In January, Regina had put
a Spring Fling dress on hold
948
00:48:58,466 --> 00:48:59,990
at a store called 1-3-5.
949
00:49:00,201 --> 00:49:02,192
But being Plastic,
she needed our advice
950
00:49:02,403 --> 00:49:03,631
before she could actually buy it.
951
00:49:03,838 --> 00:49:05,533
Can someone zip me up?
952
00:49:08,409 --> 00:49:10,969
- It won't close.
- It's a 5.
953
00:49:11,179 --> 00:49:12,806
OK, it must be marked wrong.
954
00:49:13,014 --> 00:49:15,881
Cady, all I've been eating are
these K�lteen bars. They suck.
955
00:49:16,084 --> 00:49:18,245
No, no, this is just how they work.
956
00:49:18,453 --> 00:49:19,818
This is all your water weight.
957
00:49:20,021 --> 00:49:22,649
First you bloat, and then you
drop 10 pounds like that:
958
00:49:23,424 --> 00:49:25,756
Well, the K�lteen bars
have burned up all your carbs,
959
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:27,689
and now your body's
just running on water.
960
00:49:27,896 --> 00:49:29,955
But once the water's gone,
then you'll be all muscle.
961
00:49:30,165 --> 00:49:31,860
It explains it all on the label.
962
00:49:32,066 --> 00:49:33,499
You know Swedish?
963
00:49:33,701 --> 00:49:36,329
Yeah, everyone in Africa
can read Swedish.
964
00:49:36,905 --> 00:49:38,964
Ma'am, do you have this
in the next size up?
965
00:49:39,174 --> 00:49:42,075
Sorry. We only carry
sizes 1, 3 and 5.
966
00:49:42,277 --> 00:49:43,505
You could try Sears.
967
00:49:55,490 --> 00:49:57,151
Cady.
968
00:49:57,358 --> 00:50:00,418
I need your parents to sign this
so they know that you're failing.
969
00:50:01,095 --> 00:50:02,323
Failing?
970
00:50:02,530 --> 00:50:04,430
You know what's weird
about your quizzes, Cady,
971
00:50:04,632 --> 00:50:07,396
is that all the work is right
and just the answers are wrong.
972
00:50:07,769 --> 00:50:09,964
- Really?
- Really.
973
00:50:10,171 --> 00:50:12,036
Cady, I know that having a boyfriend
974
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:15,073
may seem like the most important
thing in the world right now,
975
00:50:15,276 --> 00:50:17,904
but you don't have to dumb yourself
down to get guys to like you.
976
00:50:18,112 --> 00:50:19,704
- How would you know?
- I know,
977
00:50:19,914 --> 00:50:21,882
"How would I know", right?
978
00:50:22,083 --> 00:50:25,177
I'm divorced.
I'm broke from getting divorced.
979
00:50:25,386 --> 00:50:28,412
The only guy that ever calls my house
is Randy from Chase Visa.
980
00:50:28,990 --> 00:50:30,218
And you know why?
981
00:50:30,425 --> 00:50:32,985
Because I'm a pusher.
I push people.
982
00:50:33,194 --> 00:50:35,958
I pushed my husband into law school.
That was a bust.
983
00:50:36,164 --> 00:50:38,428
I pushed myself
into working three jobs.
984
00:50:38,633 --> 00:50:40,032
And now I'm gonna push you
985
00:50:40,235 --> 00:50:42,135
because I know
you're smarter than this.
986
00:50:42,337 --> 00:50:44,464
Thanks, Ms. Norbury.
And if there's anything I can do
987
00:50:44,672 --> 00:50:46,037
for extra credit, please let me know.
988
00:50:46,241 --> 00:50:47,606
Oh, I will.
989
00:50:48,243 --> 00:50:50,541
I hate her! I mean, she's totally
failing me on purpose
990
00:50:50,745 --> 00:50:52,372
because I didn't join
those stupid Mathletes!
991
00:50:52,580 --> 00:50:53,808
She was so queer.
992
00:50:54,015 --> 00:50:56,609
She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady.
I'm a pusher."
993
00:50:57,685 --> 00:50:58,913
What does that even mean?
994
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:01,111
- Like a drug pusher?
- Probably.
995
00:51:01,322 --> 00:51:02,846
She said she works three jobs.
996
00:51:03,057 --> 00:51:04,615
You know, I bet she sells drugs
on the side
997
00:51:04,826 --> 00:51:06,054
to pay for her pathetic divorce.
998
00:51:06,261 --> 00:51:08,126
You let it out, honey.
999
00:51:08,329 --> 00:51:10,297
Put it in the book.
1000
00:51:15,003 --> 00:51:17,130
I know it may look
like I'd become a bitch,
1001
00:51:17,338 --> 00:51:19,772
but that's only because
I was acting like a bitch.
1002
00:51:19,974 --> 00:51:22,670
Hey, I called you last night.
How come you didn't call me back?
1003
00:51:22,877 --> 00:51:24,811
Oh, I got busy. Sorry.
1004
00:51:25,013 --> 00:51:27,504
So you need a ride to my art show
this weekend?
1005
00:51:28,149 --> 00:51:30,310
No. I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
1006
00:51:30,518 --> 00:51:32,042
I'm so sorry.
1007
00:51:32,253 --> 00:51:33,845
Well, you wanna
watch a movie tonight?
1008
00:51:34,055 --> 00:51:37,252
Can't. I'm doing major
Plastic sabotage tonight.
1009
00:51:37,492 --> 00:51:39,983
But we don't have anything
planned for tonight.
1010
00:51:40,194 --> 00:51:42,424
Oh, I planned this one on my own.
1011
00:51:42,630 --> 00:51:43,858
Love you. Bye.
1012
00:51:46,834 --> 00:51:48,062
Gretchen thinks you're mad at her
1013
00:51:48,269 --> 00:51:49,896
because she's running
for Spring Fling Queen.
1014
00:51:50,104 --> 00:51:53,164
Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her.
I'm worried about her.
1015
00:51:53,374 --> 00:51:55,399
I think somebody nominated her
as a joke or something.
1016
00:51:55,610 --> 00:51:58,670
And when nobody votes for her,
she's gonna have a total meltdown.
1017
00:51:58,880 --> 00:52:01,178
And who's gonna have
to take care of her? Me.
1018
00:52:01,382 --> 00:52:04,749
So you don't think
anyone will vote for her?
1019
00:52:04,952 --> 00:52:06,715
Cady, she's not pretty.
1020
00:52:06,921 --> 00:52:09,048
I mean, that sounds bad,
but whatever.
1021
00:52:09,257 --> 00:52:11,316
The Spring Fling Queen
is always pretty.
1022
00:52:11,526 --> 00:52:13,585
And the crazy thing is
is that it should be Karen,
1023
00:52:13,795 --> 00:52:16,389
but people forget about her
because she's such a slut.
1024
00:52:16,597 --> 00:52:18,622
Anyway, I gotta go.
I'm going to bed.
1025
00:52:21,736 --> 00:52:24,102
Well, she's not mad at you.
1026
00:52:24,305 --> 00:52:26,933
- Hold on.
- Are you OK?
1027
00:52:34,215 --> 00:52:36,274
- Hello?
- If someone said something bad
1028
00:52:36,484 --> 00:52:38,179
about you, you'd want me
to tell you, right?
1029
00:52:39,487 --> 00:52:40,818
- No.
- What if it was someone
1030
00:52:41,022 --> 00:52:42,455
you thought was your friend?
1031
00:52:42,657 --> 00:52:44,648
What are you...?
Hold on. Other line.
1032
00:52:44,859 --> 00:52:46,850
- I'm not taking this anymore.
- Good for you, Gretch.
1033
00:52:47,061 --> 00:52:48,494
- Hello?
- Let's go out.
1034
00:52:48,696 --> 00:52:50,789
OK. Hold on. I'm on the other
line with Gretchen.
1035
00:52:50,998 --> 00:52:53,364
Don't invite Gretchen.
She's driving me nuts.
1036
00:52:53,568 --> 00:52:55,195
- Hold on.
- OK, hurry up.
1037
00:52:56,304 --> 00:52:57,532
It's Regina.
1038
00:52:57,739 --> 00:53:00,503
She wants to hang out with me
tonight, but she told me not to tell you.
1039
00:53:00,708 --> 00:53:02,335
Do not hang out with her.
1040
00:53:02,543 --> 00:53:05,137
- Why?
- You don't want me to tell you.
1041
00:53:05,346 --> 00:53:06,870
You can tell me. Hold on.
1042
00:53:08,549 --> 00:53:10,949
Oh, my God,
she's so annoying.
1043
00:53:11,152 --> 00:53:12,380
Who is?
1044
00:53:12,587 --> 00:53:14,612
- Who's this?
- Gretchen.
1045
00:53:14,822 --> 00:53:16,881
Right. Hold on.
1046
00:53:18,326 --> 00:53:22,763
- Oh, my God, she's so annoying.
- I know. Just get rid of her.
1047
00:53:24,632 --> 00:53:25,860
OK. What is it?
1048
00:53:26,067 --> 00:53:28,968
Regina says everyone hates you
because you're such a slut.
1049
00:53:29,737 --> 00:53:31,295
She said that?
1050
00:53:31,506 --> 00:53:33,269
You didn't hear it from me.
1051
00:53:34,308 --> 00:53:37,038
- Little harsh, Gretch.
- Whatever. She has a right to know.
1052
00:53:37,245 --> 00:53:39,042
I can't go out.
1053
00:53:39,881 --> 00:53:41,280
I'm sick.
1054
00:53:41,482 --> 00:53:43,473
Boo. You whore.
1055
00:53:49,123 --> 00:53:50,886
Regina,
1056
00:53:51,092 --> 00:53:52,389
we have to talk to you.
1057
00:53:52,593 --> 00:53:54,288
Is butter a carb?
1058
00:53:54,796 --> 00:53:56,093
Yes.
1059
00:53:56,297 --> 00:53:58,959
Regina, you're wearing sweatpants.
1060
00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:00,395
It's Monday.
1061
00:54:01,135 --> 00:54:03,194
- So?
- So that's against the rules
1062
00:54:03,404 --> 00:54:04,894
and you can't sit with us.
1063
00:54:05,373 --> 00:54:07,671
Whatever. Those rules aren't real.
1064
00:54:08,643 --> 00:54:10,406
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1065
00:54:10,611 --> 00:54:13,603
- Because that vest was disgusting.
- You can't sit with us!
1066
00:54:20,521 --> 00:54:23,285
These sweatpants are all
that fits me right now.
1067
00:54:29,931 --> 00:54:31,228
Fine.
1068
00:54:31,432 --> 00:54:33,423
You can walk home, bitches.
1069
00:54:34,602 --> 00:54:37,230
Watch where you're going, fat-ass!
1070
00:54:44,812 --> 00:54:47,372
Gretchen and Karen followed me
around all afternoon.
1071
00:54:47,582 --> 00:54:49,812
- So, what are we doing this weekend?
- Yeah, what are we doing?
1072
00:54:50,017 --> 00:54:51,678
Oh, I have to go to Madison
with my parents.
1073
00:54:52,253 --> 00:54:53,845
What...?
1074
00:54:54,055 --> 00:54:55,647
We have tickets for this thing.
1075
00:54:55,857 --> 00:54:57,848
- What?
- What?
1076
00:54:58,059 --> 00:55:00,357
Was I the new queen bee?
1077
00:55:01,629 --> 00:55:02,994
I can try and get out of it.
1078
00:55:03,331 --> 00:55:04,559
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1079
00:55:04,765 --> 00:55:07,632
Because I told my friend Janis
I'd go to her art show.
1080
00:55:07,835 --> 00:55:09,826
We've had these tickets for months.
1081
00:55:10,037 --> 00:55:12,028
You love Ladysmith Black Mambazo.
1082
00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,708
But she's my friend,
and I made her a promise.
1083
00:55:15,142 --> 00:55:17,872
I think Cady's old enough
to spend one night on her own.
1084
00:55:21,382 --> 00:55:24,510
I had learned how to control
everyone around me.
1085
00:55:25,486 --> 00:55:28,319
Hey. I'm having a small get-together
at my house tomorrow night.
1086
00:55:28,923 --> 00:55:31,517
- Is Regina going?
- No. Do you think I'm an idiot?
1087
00:55:31,726 --> 00:55:33,216
No, it's just gonna be
a few cool people,
1088
00:55:33,427 --> 00:55:34,860
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1089
00:55:35,596 --> 00:55:37,496
- Fine, I'll go.
- Shut up.
1090
00:55:37,698 --> 00:55:39,689
I love that shirt on you.
1091
00:55:45,273 --> 00:55:48,367
Aaron Samuels was going to be
in my touse at my party.
1092
00:55:48,576 --> 00:55:50,407
Everything had to be perfect.
1093
00:55:55,082 --> 00:55:56,572
And this time when Aaron saw me,
1094
00:55:56,784 --> 00:55:59,344
I wouldn't be caught
in some ridiculous costume.
1095
00:56:00,021 --> 00:56:01,249
Hey, guys.
1096
00:56:02,657 --> 00:56:04,386
- You look awesome!
- You look awesome!
1097
00:56:04,592 --> 00:56:06,025
I know, right?
1098
00:56:06,227 --> 00:56:08,320
OK, so I got enough cheese
and crackers for eight people.
1099
00:56:08,529 --> 00:56:10,258
Do you think that's enough?
1100
00:56:10,464 --> 00:56:12,295
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Oh, yeah.
1101
00:56:12,500 --> 00:56:14,092
OK.
1102
00:56:17,905 --> 00:56:19,133
It was not enough.
1103
00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:21,900
Somehow, the word had gotten out
about my small get-together.
1104
00:56:22,109 --> 00:56:24,134
Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.
1105
00:56:24,345 --> 00:56:26,142
He's just using her
to make you mad.
1106
00:56:26,347 --> 00:56:28,907
- Have you guys seen Aaron yet?
- No.
1107
00:56:30,651 --> 00:56:33,449
Dude, put on
"The Ramayana Monkey Chant".
1108
00:56:42,363 --> 00:56:45,355
- Do I know you?
- Deek! What up, dog?
1109
00:56:52,039 --> 00:56:54,269
She thinks she's gonna have
a party and not invite me?
1110
00:56:54,475 --> 00:56:56,340
- Who does she think she is?
- You're right, hon.
1111
00:56:56,544 --> 00:56:59,035
I, like, invented her,
you know what I mean?
1112
00:57:07,154 --> 00:57:09,122
Jason.
1113
00:57:09,323 --> 00:57:10,813
I have to talk to you.
1114
00:57:11,993 --> 00:57:13,460
Whatever.
1115
00:57:14,462 --> 00:57:16,555
- I love you.
- I know, I know.
1116
00:57:19,367 --> 00:57:22,131
Hey! Put that down!
1117
00:57:28,042 --> 00:57:30,067
Was Aaron blowing me off?
1118
00:57:37,284 --> 00:57:39,775
What's up?
Gretchen came to talk to me.
1119
00:57:39,987 --> 00:57:41,682
- Oh, no.
- Look,
1120
00:57:41,889 --> 00:57:45,325
I don't wanna hurt your feelings,
but I only date women of color.
1121
00:57:46,460 --> 00:57:47,859
I have to pee.
1122
00:58:00,841 --> 00:58:02,399
Get out.
1123
00:58:47,021 --> 00:58:48,249
- Hey.
- Hey.
1124
00:58:48,456 --> 00:58:49,787
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
1125
00:58:49,990 --> 00:58:51,287
Me too.
1126
00:58:53,427 --> 00:58:55,361
You look...
1127
00:58:55,996 --> 00:58:58,294
- New clothes?
- Thanks.
1128
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:00,931
You wanna go downstairs?
1129
00:59:01,135 --> 00:59:03,467
No, no. Let's stay here.
1130
00:59:06,607 --> 00:59:08,131
Thanks for getting me
to come out tonight.
1131
00:59:08,342 --> 00:59:09,570
Yeah, sure, no problem.
1132
00:59:09,777 --> 00:59:12,746
I wasted too much time
being pissed off at Regina.
1133
00:59:12,947 --> 00:59:14,437
No more liars.
1134
00:59:14,648 --> 00:59:16,479
I would never lie to you.
1135
00:59:16,684 --> 00:59:18,447
I know, I know.
1136
00:59:18,652 --> 00:59:20,051
Although...
1137
00:59:20,254 --> 00:59:22,586
OK, listen.
I mean, I did lie to you once,
1138
00:59:22,790 --> 00:59:24,917
but you're totally gonna laugh
when I tell you, so...
1139
00:59:25,126 --> 00:59:26,753
Tell me what?
1140
00:59:28,129 --> 00:59:30,927
I pretended to be bad at math
so that you'd help me.
1141
00:59:31,132 --> 00:59:34,192
But the thing is,
I'm not really bad at math.
1142
00:59:34,401 --> 00:59:37,336
I'm actually really good at math.
You're kind of bad at math.
1143
00:59:37,905 --> 00:59:40,066
Anyways, now I'm failing.
Isn't that funny?
1144
00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:42,907
Wait. You're failing on purpose?
That's stupid.
1145
00:59:43,110 --> 00:59:45,772
No. Not on purpose.
Just, you know...
1146
00:59:45,980 --> 00:59:47,538
I just wanted a reason to talk to you.
1147
00:59:47,748 --> 00:59:49,375
So why didn't you just talk to me?
1148
00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:51,517
Well, because I couldn't.
Because of Regina.
1149
00:59:51,719 --> 00:59:53,277
Because you were her property...
1150
00:59:53,487 --> 00:59:55,614
- Her property?
- No. Shut up. Not her property...
1151
00:59:55,823 --> 00:59:57,313
No, don't tell me to shut up.
1152
00:59:57,525 --> 00:59:59,186
- I wasn't...
- God, you know what?
1153
00:59:59,627 --> 01:00:02,255
You are just like a clone of Regina.
1154
01:00:02,463 --> 01:00:05,125
Oh, no, no, listen to me.
You're not listening to me...
1155
01:00:05,332 --> 01:00:09,666
Oh, no. It was coming up again.
Word vomit. No, wait a minute...
1156
01:00:09,870 --> 01:00:12,668
- What is this?!
- Actual vomit.
1157
01:00:16,043 --> 01:00:17,408
Aaron!
1158
01:00:17,711 --> 01:00:19,770
Aaron, wait! Just...
1159
01:00:21,215 --> 01:00:23,775
OK. Call me.
1160
01:00:28,489 --> 01:00:31,583
- Oh, God.
- You dirty little liar.
1161
01:00:31,792 --> 01:00:33,623
I'm sorry. I can explain.
1162
01:00:33,828 --> 01:00:36,058
Explain how you forgot
to invite us to your party?
1163
01:00:36,263 --> 01:00:37,594
Janis, I cannot stop this car.
I have a curfew.
1164
01:00:37,798 --> 01:00:40,699
You know I couldn't invite you.
I had to pretend to be Plastic.
1165
01:00:40,901 --> 01:00:42,926
Hey, buddy, you're not
pretending anymore.
1166
01:00:43,137 --> 01:00:46,106
You're Plastic.
Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.
1167
01:00:46,507 --> 01:00:48,236
Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10.
1168
01:00:48,442 --> 01:00:50,137
Did you have an awesome time?
1169
01:00:50,344 --> 01:00:53,472
Did you drink awesome shooters
and listen to awesome music,
1170
01:00:53,681 --> 01:00:56,479
and then just sit around and soak up
each other's awesomeness?
1171
01:00:56,684 --> 01:00:58,015
You're the one who made me like this
1172
01:00:58,219 --> 01:01:00,551
so you could use me
for your eighth-grade revenge.
1173
01:01:00,754 --> 01:01:03,587
God! See, at least me and
Regina George know we're mean.
1174
01:01:03,791 --> 01:01:08,194
You try to act like you're so innocent.
Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa
1175
01:01:08,395 --> 01:01:10,386
with all the little birdies
and the little monkeys."
1176
01:01:10,598 --> 01:01:13,396
You know what? It's not my fault
you're in love with me or something!
1177
01:01:13,601 --> 01:01:15,193
- What?!
- Oh, no she did not!
1178
01:01:15,402 --> 01:01:17,563
See? That is the thing
with you Plastics.
1179
01:01:17,771 --> 01:01:20,239
You think that everybody
is in love with you,
1180
01:01:20,441 --> 01:01:22,568
when actually, everybody hates you.
1181
01:01:22,776 --> 01:01:24,539
Like Aaron Samuels, for example.
1182
01:01:24,745 --> 01:01:26,576
He broke up with Regina
and guess what.
1183
01:01:26,780 --> 01:01:28,372
He still doesn't want you.
1184
01:01:28,582 --> 01:01:31,745
So why are you still messing
with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why.
1185
01:01:31,952 --> 01:01:35,513
Because you are a mean girl!
You're a bitch!
1186
01:01:36,423 --> 01:01:39,620
Here. You can have this.
It won a prize.
1187
01:01:41,996 --> 01:01:44,294
And I want my pink shirt back!
1188
01:01:44,498 --> 01:01:47,194
I want my pink shirt back!
1189
01:02:01,248 --> 01:02:02,681
Hon, slow down.
1190
01:02:02,883 --> 01:02:05,443
It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.
1191
01:02:06,587 --> 01:02:08,054
Why are you eating a K�lteen bar?
1192
01:02:08,255 --> 01:02:10,655
- I'm starving.
- Man, I hate those things.
1193
01:02:10,858 --> 01:02:14,294
Coach Carr makes us eat those when
we wanna move up a weight class.
1194
01:02:15,863 --> 01:02:17,125
What?
1195
01:02:17,932 --> 01:02:20,332
They make you gain weight like crazy.
1196
01:02:21,535 --> 01:02:23,332
Mother...
1197
01:02:48,462 --> 01:02:54,799
This girl is the nastiest skank bitch
1198
01:02:55,002 --> 01:02:59,268
I've ever met.
1199
01:02:59,473 --> 01:03:08,108
Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!
1200
01:03:28,102 --> 01:03:33,438
I found it in the girls' bathroom.
It's so mean, Mr. Duvall.
1201
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:34,937
Is this true?
1202
01:03:35,142 --> 01:03:37,303
Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr?
1203
01:03:38,846 --> 01:03:41,371
Good Lord.
1204
01:03:41,582 --> 01:03:44,073
What's that say?
"Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."?
1205
01:03:44,284 --> 01:03:45,945
Fat whore.
1206
01:03:49,056 --> 01:03:51,149
OK, calm down, Miss George.
1207
01:03:51,792 --> 01:03:55,319
Why would someone write that?
That's just so mean.
1208
01:03:55,796 --> 01:03:58,128
Don't worry, we're gonna
find out who did it.
1209
01:03:58,332 --> 01:04:00,892
There's only three girls
in the whole school who aren't in it.
1210
01:04:01,902 --> 01:04:04,427
At your age, you're gonna
be having a lot of urges.
1211
01:04:04,638 --> 01:04:07,835
You're gonna want to take off
your clothes and touch each other.
1212
01:04:08,208 --> 01:04:12,577
But if you do touch each other,
you will get chlamydia. And die.
1213
01:04:12,780 --> 01:04:14,179
Coach Carr.
1214
01:04:17,551 --> 01:04:20,019
Cady Heron, they wanna see you
in the principal's office.
1215
01:04:22,589 --> 01:04:26,719
All right, chlamydia. K-L-A...
1216
01:04:29,496 --> 01:04:31,464
In here, Miss Heron.
1217
01:04:39,840 --> 01:04:42,934
- What's going on?
- Have a seat, Miss Heron.
1218
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:48,905
- Have you ever seen this before?
- No.
1219
01:04:49,450 --> 01:04:51,782
I mean, yes, I've seen it before,
but it's not mine.
1220
01:04:51,985 --> 01:04:53,680
You better get your story straight,
Miss Heron,
1221
01:04:53,887 --> 01:04:55,650
because I'm not messing
around here.
1222
01:04:55,856 --> 01:04:57,551
It's not ours, it's Regina's.
1223
01:04:57,791 --> 01:05:01,488
Yeah, she's trying to make it look
like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.
1224
01:05:01,695 --> 01:05:07,930
Miss Wieners, why would Regina
refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?
1225
01:05:10,537 --> 01:05:13,233
Miss Smith, this is no time
to be laughing.
1226
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,635
We're gonna get to the bottom
of this right now.
1227
01:05:34,094 --> 01:05:37,552
Maybe we're not in that book,
because everybody likes us.
1228
01:05:37,764 --> 01:05:40,028
And I don't wanna be punished
for being well-liked.
1229
01:05:40,567 --> 01:05:44,298
And I don't think my father,
the inventor of Toaster Strudel,
1230
01:05:44,505 --> 01:05:46,473
would be too pleased
to hear about this.
1231
01:05:55,582 --> 01:05:57,709
"Made out with a hot dog"?
1232
01:05:57,918 --> 01:06:00,853
Oh, my God, that was one time!
1233
01:06:03,157 --> 01:06:07,389
"Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"?
Who would write that?
1234
01:06:07,594 --> 01:06:09,323
Who wouldn't write that?
1235
01:06:10,697 --> 01:06:12,790
"Trang Pak made out
with Coach Carr"?
1236
01:06:13,000 --> 01:06:14,558
And so did Sun Jin Dinh.
1237
01:06:22,442 --> 01:06:25,411
Hey! Hey! Settle down!
All right, hey.
1238
01:06:25,612 --> 01:06:28,513
No. You do not push and sh...
1239
01:06:42,229 --> 01:06:44,026
Do you have anything else
you wanna say?
1240
01:06:44,231 --> 01:06:45,562
No, I can't answer any
more questions
1241
01:06:45,766 --> 01:06:47,427
until I have a parent
or lawyer present.
1242
01:06:48,669 --> 01:06:49,897
Miss Smith?
1243
01:06:51,038 --> 01:06:54,565
Whoever wrote it probably didn't
think anyone would ever see it?
1244
01:06:54,775 --> 01:06:57,209
I hope that nobody else
ever does see it.
1245
01:07:08,722 --> 01:07:11,213
Mom, can you pick me up?
I'm scared.
1246
01:07:12,392 --> 01:07:14,724
- "Janis Ian, dyke"?
- That's original.
1247
01:07:14,928 --> 01:07:16,691
- "Too gay to function"?!
- Hey!
1248
01:07:16,897 --> 01:07:18,956
That's only OK when I say it.
1249
01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:22,033
- Did you write this?
- No, I swear!
1250
01:07:22,236 --> 01:07:24,898
- Then you told somebody!
- She told!
1251
01:07:25,172 --> 01:07:28,198
- You little bitch!
- You're a bitch!
1252
01:07:30,277 --> 01:07:32,245
Yeah! Take your top off!
1253
01:07:34,248 --> 01:07:36,409
- Now, here's what we're gonna do...
- Ron, come quick!
1254
01:07:36,617 --> 01:07:39,950
They've gone wild.
The girls have gone wild.
1255
01:07:49,129 --> 01:07:51,290
It was full-tilt jungle madness.
1256
01:07:54,768 --> 01:07:56,736
And it wasn't going away.
1257
01:08:03,176 --> 01:08:05,804
Hey, I pulled these two off each other.
1258
01:08:06,013 --> 01:08:08,811
Coach Carr, step away
from the underage girls.
1259
01:08:13,787 --> 01:08:15,254
Let me help you down there.
1260
01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:19,517
Hell, no! I did not leave
the Southside for this!
1261
01:08:23,363 --> 01:08:25,490
Oh, crap! My hair!
1262
01:08:25,699 --> 01:08:31,228
All junior girls report to the gymnasium
immediately! Immediately!
1263
01:08:36,276 --> 01:08:37,800
Have you ever walked up to people
1264
01:08:38,011 --> 01:08:40,309
and realized they were just
talking about you?
1265
01:08:42,416 --> 01:08:45,579
Have you ever had it happen
60 times in a row?
1266
01:08:45,986 --> 01:08:47,578
I have.
1267
01:09:06,606 --> 01:09:11,043
Never in my 14 years as an educator
have I seen such behavior.
1268
01:09:11,378 --> 01:09:13,243
And from young ladies.
1269
01:09:13,780 --> 01:09:17,716
I got parents calling me on the phone
asking, "Did someone get shot?"
1270
01:09:18,018 --> 01:09:19,952
I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.
1271
01:09:20,153 --> 01:09:21,381
No!
1272
01:09:21,655 --> 01:09:22,883
- No.
- What are we supposed to do?
1273
01:09:23,357 --> 01:09:26,258
Now, I'm not gonna do that,
because we've already paid the DJ.
1274
01:09:26,526 --> 01:09:29,723
But don't think that I'm not taking
this book seriously.
1275
01:09:30,130 --> 01:09:33,031
Coach Carr has fled school property.
1276
01:09:33,667 --> 01:09:36,033
Ms. Norbury has been
accused of selling drugs.
1277
01:09:37,437 --> 01:09:39,735
Now, what the young ladies
in this grade need
1278
01:09:39,940 --> 01:09:41,965
is an attitude makeover.
1279
01:09:42,376 --> 01:09:44,742
And you're gonna get it right now.
1280
01:09:44,945 --> 01:09:48,813
I don't care how long it takes,
I will keep you here all night.
1281
01:09:49,015 --> 01:09:50,414
We can't keep them past 4.
1282
01:09:50,617 --> 01:09:52,847
I will keep you here until 4.
1283
01:09:54,721 --> 01:09:57,189
Now, what we're gonna try to do
is fix the way you young ladies
1284
01:09:57,391 --> 01:09:58,881
relate to each other.
1285
01:09:59,092 --> 01:10:01,652
OK? Lady to lady.
1286
01:10:01,862 --> 01:10:04,854
So who has a lady problem
that they'd like to talk about?
1287
01:10:08,668 --> 01:10:10,033
Yes?
1288
01:10:10,237 --> 01:10:13,468
Somebody wrote in that book
that I'm lying about being a virgin
1289
01:10:13,673 --> 01:10:15,698
because I use super-jumbo tampons.
1290
01:10:15,909 --> 01:10:19,777
But I can't help it if I've got
a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.
1291
01:10:21,715 --> 01:10:23,512
Yeah, I can't do this.
1292
01:10:23,917 --> 01:10:25,145
Ms. Norbury.
1293
01:10:25,385 --> 01:10:29,116
You're a successful, intelligent,
caring, graceful woman.
1294
01:10:29,423 --> 01:10:30,651
I am?
1295
01:10:30,857 --> 01:10:33,087
There has to be something
you can say to these young ladies.
1296
01:10:33,293 --> 01:10:35,227
Something to help them
with their self-esteem?
1297
01:10:35,595 --> 01:10:36,823
It's not a self-esteem problem.
1298
01:10:37,030 --> 01:10:39,555
I think they're all pretty
pleased with themselves.
1299
01:10:41,768 --> 01:10:42,996
OK.
1300
01:10:44,271 --> 01:10:48,264
OK. Everybody close your eyes.
1301
01:10:49,643 --> 01:10:52,203
I want you to raise your hand
if you have ever had a girl
1302
01:10:52,412 --> 01:10:55,540
say something bad
about you behind your back.
1303
01:10:57,584 --> 01:10:59,449
Open your eyes.
1304
01:11:01,154 --> 01:11:02,678
Now, close your eyes again.
1305
01:11:02,889 --> 01:11:05,687
And this time, I want you to raise
your hand if you have ever
1306
01:11:05,892 --> 01:11:08,452
said anything about a friend
behind her back.
1307
01:11:14,835 --> 01:11:16,132
Open them.
1308
01:11:20,507 --> 01:11:23,203
There's been some
girl-on-girl crime here.
1309
01:11:24,277 --> 01:11:28,008
OK. So, what we could do today
is a couple exercises to help you
1310
01:11:28,215 --> 01:11:31,116
express your anger in a healthy way.
1311
01:11:32,052 --> 01:11:33,349
Let's start over here.
1312
01:11:33,553 --> 01:11:35,350
Ms. Norbury had us confront
each other directly
1313
01:11:35,555 --> 01:11:37,022
about the things
that were bothering us.
1314
01:11:37,224 --> 01:11:39,249
And it seemed like every clique
had its own problems.
1315
01:11:39,459 --> 01:11:42,360
You've been acting really stuck-up
ever since you switched to shortfielder.
1316
01:11:42,562 --> 01:11:44,325
And Dawn agrees with me.
1317
01:11:44,531 --> 01:11:46,158
- Dawn?
- Don't drag me into this,
1318
01:11:46,366 --> 01:11:47,663
I'm pitching tomorrow.
1319
01:11:55,542 --> 01:11:57,533
OK. Good.
1320
01:11:58,478 --> 01:12:01,413
Can I just say that we don't have
a clique problem at this school?
1321
01:12:01,615 --> 01:12:04,345
And some of us shouldn't have to take
this workshop, because some of us
1322
01:12:04,551 --> 01:12:06,644
are just victims in this situation.
1323
01:12:06,853 --> 01:12:08,980
That's probably true.
How many of you
1324
01:12:09,189 --> 01:12:12,989
have ever felt personally
victimized by Regina George?
1325
01:12:22,836 --> 01:12:25,361
Good. OK, who's next?
1326
01:12:25,572 --> 01:12:27,096
Who's next?
1327
01:12:29,376 --> 01:12:30,707
Cady.
1328
01:12:30,911 --> 01:12:32,606
Do you have anything
you wanna own up to?
1329
01:12:33,313 --> 01:12:35,042
Yes.
No.
1330
01:12:35,649 --> 01:12:38,117
You never made up a rumor
about anybody?
1331
01:12:38,518 --> 01:12:39,746
Just that you sell drugs.
1332
01:12:39,953 --> 01:12:41,181
No.
1333
01:12:41,588 --> 01:12:43,852
Nothing you want to apologize for?
1334
01:12:44,291 --> 01:12:45,690
I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury
1335
01:12:45,892 --> 01:12:47,917
without getting blamed
for the whole Burn Book.
1336
01:12:48,194 --> 01:12:49,627
No.
1337
01:12:50,864 --> 01:12:53,128
I'm really disappointed in you, Cady.
1338
01:12:55,502 --> 01:12:58,528
OK, so we're all here
because of this book, right?
1339
01:12:58,805 --> 01:13:01,569
Well, I don't know
who wrote this book,
1340
01:13:01,775 --> 01:13:05,541
but you all have got to stop
calling each other sluts and whores.
1341
01:13:05,745 --> 01:13:08,714
It just makes it OK for guys
to call you sluts and whores.
1342
01:13:08,915 --> 01:13:10,473
Who here has ever been called a slut?
1343
01:13:15,655 --> 01:13:17,247
OK, everybody up.
1344
01:13:17,457 --> 01:13:18,981
Ms. Norbury had us
write out apologies
1345
01:13:19,192 --> 01:13:21,353
to people that we'd hurt in our lives.
1346
01:13:21,628 --> 01:13:25,223
"Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you
a gap-toothed bitch."
1347
01:13:25,432 --> 01:13:27,957
"It's not your fault
you're so gap-toothed."
1348
01:13:32,405 --> 01:13:33,872
"Gretchen,
1349
01:13:34,074 --> 01:13:36,508
"I'm sorry I laughed
at you that time you got diarrhea"
1350
01:13:36,710 --> 01:13:38,337
"at Barnes and Noble."
1351
01:13:38,545 --> 01:13:40,445
"And I'm sorry I told everyone about it."
1352
01:13:40,947 --> 01:13:43,438
And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
1353
01:13:48,188 --> 01:13:50,213
Laura, I don't hate you
because you're fat.
1354
01:13:50,423 --> 01:13:52,755
You're fat because I hate you.
1355
01:13:56,396 --> 01:14:00,423
I just wish we could all get along
like we used to in middle school.
1356
01:14:00,634 --> 01:14:04,570
I wish that I could bake a cake
made out of rainbows and smiles,
1357
01:14:04,771 --> 01:14:06,671
and we'd all eat it and be happy.
1358
01:14:06,873 --> 01:14:08,500
She doesn't even go here!
1359
01:14:10,410 --> 01:14:12,469
Do you even go to this school?
1360
01:14:12,679 --> 01:14:16,342
No. I just have a lot of feelings.
1361
01:14:16,650 --> 01:14:18,117
OK, go home.
1362
01:14:22,088 --> 01:14:23,715
Sharon, I think you're doing
a great job.
1363
01:14:23,957 --> 01:14:25,515
Thanks. I feel like I'm getting through.
1364
01:14:25,725 --> 01:14:28,125
I'm sorry that people
are so jealous of me.
1365
01:14:28,862 --> 01:14:31,422
But I can't help it that I'm popular.
1366
01:14:36,369 --> 01:14:39,497
Oh, my God! Oh, jeez.
OK, walk it off. Walk it off.
1367
01:14:39,706 --> 01:14:41,867
OK. That hurt.
1368
01:14:42,676 --> 01:14:44,007
They're OK.
1369
01:14:44,544 --> 01:14:46,239
They're OK.
1370
01:14:47,047 --> 01:14:52,041
Oh, boy. OK, who's next?
Who's next? Keep it going.
1371
01:14:55,755 --> 01:14:59,691
Oh, my God. It's her dream come true,
diving into a big pile of girls.
1372
01:15:01,027 --> 01:15:04,190
OK, yeah, I've got an apology.
1373
01:15:06,166 --> 01:15:10,830
So I have this friend
who is a new student this year.
1374
01:15:11,037 --> 01:15:15,098
And I convinced her that it would be
fun to mess up Regina George's life.
1375
01:15:15,308 --> 01:15:17,799
So I had her pretend
to be friends with Regina,
1376
01:15:18,011 --> 01:15:19,535
and then she would come
to my house after
1377
01:15:19,746 --> 01:15:22,442
and we would just laugh about
all the dumb stuff Regina said.
1378
01:15:22,649 --> 01:15:24,173
And we gave her
these candy bar things
1379
01:15:24,384 --> 01:15:26,011
that would make her gain weight,
1380
01:15:26,219 --> 01:15:28,414
and we turned her best friends
against her.
1381
01:15:28,888 --> 01:15:31,857
And then... Oh, yeah, Cady...
You know my friend Cady.
1382
01:15:32,058 --> 01:15:33,855
She made out
with Regina's boyfriend
1383
01:15:34,060 --> 01:15:36,153
and then convinced him
to break up with her.
1384
01:15:36,362 --> 01:15:38,990
Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream
instead of face wash.
1385
01:15:39,199 --> 01:15:41,827
God! I am so sorry, Regina.
1386
01:15:42,035 --> 01:15:43,969
Really, I don't know why I did it.
1387
01:15:44,170 --> 01:15:49,403
I guess it's probably because
I've got a big lesbian crush on you.
1388
01:15:49,609 --> 01:15:51,304
Suck on that!
1389
01:15:52,412 --> 01:15:56,280
Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis!
1390
01:16:03,089 --> 01:16:04,317
Regina!
1391
01:16:05,792 --> 01:16:07,726
Regina, wait! I didn't mean
for that to happen.
1392
01:16:07,927 --> 01:16:09,918
To find out that everyone hates me?
I don't care.
1393
01:16:10,130 --> 01:16:12,121
Regina, please! Regina, stop!
1394
01:16:12,332 --> 01:16:14,994
No! Do you know
what everyone says about you?
1395
01:16:15,201 --> 01:16:17,135
They say that you're
a home-schooled jungle freak,
1396
01:16:17,337 --> 01:16:19,168
who's a less-hot version of me.
1397
01:16:19,372 --> 01:16:22,136
Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent.
1398
01:16:22,342 --> 01:16:25,607
You can take that fake apology
and shove it right up your hairy...
1399
01:16:29,349 --> 01:16:31,943
And that's how Regina George died.
1400
01:16:32,152 --> 01:16:35,212
No, I'm totally kidding.
But she did get hurt.
1401
01:16:35,421 --> 01:16:37,685
Some girls say they saw her head
go all the way around.
1402
01:16:37,891 --> 01:16:40,689
But that's just a rumor.
Some people swear they saw me
1403
01:16:40,894 --> 01:16:43,089
push her in front of the bus.
That was an even worse rumor.
1404
01:16:45,195 --> 01:16:48,687
- Everybody done?
- No. Mom, I didn't do it.
1405
01:16:48,898 --> 01:16:50,661
I don't know what to believe anymore.
1406
01:16:50,867 --> 01:16:52,960
Mom, believe me.
I'm your daughter.
1407
01:16:56,106 --> 01:16:58,836
Why are my tribal vases
under the sink?
1408
01:16:59,042 --> 01:17:02,136
My tribal vases.
Why were they under the sink?
1409
01:17:02,712 --> 01:17:04,043
I don't know.
1410
01:17:04,347 --> 01:17:06,645
This is the fertility vase
of the Ndebele tribe.
1411
01:17:06,850 --> 01:17:09,876
- Does that mean anything to you?
- No.
1412
01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:12,517
Who are you?
1413
01:17:17,127 --> 01:17:20,858
Great. All my friends hate me,
and now my mom hates me.
1414
01:17:21,064 --> 01:17:22,964
Your mom does not hate you.
1415
01:17:23,166 --> 01:17:25,828
She's afraid of you.
1416
01:17:26,870 --> 01:17:30,863
I don't know, maybe we
mainstream-schooled you too soon.
1417
01:17:31,074 --> 01:17:34,942
Maybe you should come back and
be home-schooled again for a while.
1418
01:17:35,311 --> 01:17:39,338
No. Only thing worse than
going back will be not going back.
1419
01:17:40,283 --> 01:17:42,308
How bad's it gonna be tomorrow?
1420
01:17:42,519 --> 01:17:45,613
Remember when we saw those lions
fighting over the wart hog carcass?
1421
01:17:46,523 --> 01:17:47,751
I'll be the wart hog.
1422
01:17:48,258 --> 01:17:49,725
You're not a wart hog,
1423
01:17:49,926 --> 01:17:51,689
you're a lion.
1424
01:17:52,195 --> 01:17:54,629
Just focus on your studies
for a little while.
1425
01:17:54,964 --> 01:17:57,296
You're still an excellent student, right?
1426
01:17:57,500 --> 01:18:00,936
Oh, yeah. I need you to sign
my calculus test.
1427
01:18:01,304 --> 01:18:03,499
- Why?
- I'm failing.
1428
01:18:06,809 --> 01:18:09,573
OK. You are...
1429
01:18:10,914 --> 01:18:12,381
What do they call it?
1430
01:18:12,649 --> 01:18:13,911
Grounded.
1431
01:18:14,384 --> 01:18:15,976
You're grounded.
1432
01:18:44,714 --> 01:18:46,238
She pushed her in front of the bus.
1433
01:18:46,983 --> 01:18:48,575
Did you see her do it?
1434
01:18:48,785 --> 01:18:50,116
Yes.
1435
01:19:04,601 --> 01:19:08,560
Did your teacher ever try to sell you
marijuana or Ecstasy tablets?
1436
01:19:08,771 --> 01:19:11,205
- No.
- What are marijuana tablets?
1437
01:19:11,407 --> 01:19:13,307
What's going on?
Where's Ms. Norbury?
1438
01:19:13,676 --> 01:19:17,737
Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous.
Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs.
1439
01:19:17,947 --> 01:19:21,144
I know, Aaron. But after
the allegations against Coach Carr
1440
01:19:21,351 --> 01:19:23,615
turned out to be extremely true,
1441
01:19:23,820 --> 01:19:27,051
the school board felt that it was best
that we investigate every claim made
1442
01:19:27,257 --> 01:19:28,485
in this Burn Book.
1443
01:19:28,691 --> 01:19:30,921
That book was written
by a bunch of stupid girls
1444
01:19:31,127 --> 01:19:32,992
who make up rumors
because they're bored
1445
01:19:33,196 --> 01:19:34,959
with their own lame lives.
1446
01:19:35,164 --> 01:19:37,928
Well, unless someone wants to come
forward and say, "I made it all up",
1447
01:19:38,134 --> 01:19:40,728
this is how we have to handle it.
To say that someone...
1448
01:19:40,937 --> 01:19:45,601
Oh, no. Bye, Aaron.
You're gonna hate me forever.
1449
01:19:46,843 --> 01:19:48,538
Mr. Duvall.
1450
01:19:48,745 --> 01:19:49,973
I wrote it.
1451
01:19:52,882 --> 01:19:54,110
Come on, Cady.
1452
01:20:01,391 --> 01:20:02,881
When you get bit by a snake,
1453
01:20:03,092 --> 01:20:04,957
you're supposed to suck
the poison out.
1454
01:20:05,161 --> 01:20:08,961
That's what I had to do.
Suck all the poison out of my life.
1455
01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,224
I started with Regina,
1456
01:20:11,434 --> 01:20:13,698
who was living proof that the more
people are scared of you,
1457
01:20:13,903 --> 01:20:15,200
the more flowers you get.
1458
01:20:16,406 --> 01:20:17,634
Then there was Ms. Norbury,
1459
01:20:17,840 --> 01:20:21,401
who was living proof that no
good deed goes unpunished.
1460
01:20:22,078 --> 01:20:24,569
Oh, hi. Did you wanna
buy some drugs?
1461
01:20:24,781 --> 01:20:28,740
- I'm just done with my quiz.
- Wait. I'll grade it right now.
1462
01:20:33,289 --> 01:20:35,519
I gotta say, watching the police
search my house
1463
01:20:35,725 --> 01:20:39,217
really was the cherry on top
of a fantastic year.
1464
01:20:40,496 --> 01:20:42,987
How much trouble did you get in
for telling the truth?
1465
01:20:43,199 --> 01:20:44,496
A lot.
1466
01:20:44,834 --> 01:20:46,358
You didn't write that whole book
yourself.
1467
01:20:46,569 --> 01:20:48,196
Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?
1468
01:20:48,971 --> 01:20:50,268
No, because I'm trying
this new thing
1469
01:20:50,473 --> 01:20:52,668
where I don't talk about people
behind their backs.
1470
01:20:53,009 --> 01:20:56,103
That's all right. Gething hit by a bus
is pretty good punishment.
1471
01:20:56,312 --> 01:20:57,574
Ninety-four.
1472
01:20:57,780 --> 01:20:59,509
Welcome back, nerd.
1473
01:21:00,016 --> 01:21:01,278
Thanks.
1474
01:21:02,385 --> 01:21:03,784
Anyway...
1475
01:21:04,787 --> 01:21:06,254
...l'm sorry.
1476
01:21:06,456 --> 01:21:07,787
I forgive you.
1477
01:21:08,091 --> 01:21:10,423
But as my own personal
form of punishment,
1478
01:21:10,626 --> 01:21:13,026
I figured out how you're gonna
earn that extra credit.
1479
01:21:14,530 --> 01:21:15,963
What's up?
1480
01:22:14,490 --> 01:22:17,459
Excellent. Great turnout this year.
1481
01:22:24,801 --> 01:22:26,701
- All right. It's all you.
- OK.
1482
01:22:26,903 --> 01:22:28,666
- Make me look good out there.
- OK.
1483
01:22:28,871 --> 01:22:32,170
Marymount, you sons of bitches.
You no-good sons of bitches.
1484
01:22:33,042 --> 01:22:34,600
- You nervous?
- Yes.
1485
01:22:34,811 --> 01:22:38,178
Don't be. You can do this.
There's nothing to break your focus,
1486
01:22:38,381 --> 01:22:40,975
because not one of those
Marymount boys is cute.
1487
01:22:42,852 --> 01:22:44,183
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1488
01:22:44,387 --> 01:22:47,015
Welcome to the Illinois High School
Mathletes State Championship.
1489
01:22:47,223 --> 01:22:50,158
Let's start the competition.
Here is the first question.
1490
01:22:50,593 --> 01:22:53,721
Twice the larger of two numbers
is three more than five times
1491
01:22:53,930 --> 01:22:55,830
the smaller, and the sum
of four times the larger
1492
01:22:56,032 --> 01:22:59,263
and three times the smaller is 71.
What are...?
1493
01:22:59,469 --> 01:23:01,562
- North Shore?
- Fourteen and five.
1494
01:23:01,771 --> 01:23:03,329
That is correct.
Question number two.
1495
01:23:03,539 --> 01:23:06,633
Find an odd three-digit number
whose digits add up to 12.
1496
01:23:06,843 --> 01:23:09,903
The digits are all different, and the
difference between the first two digits
1497
01:23:10,112 --> 01:23:11,443
equals the difference between...
1498
01:23:11,647 --> 01:23:13,478
- Marymount?
- 741.
1499
01:23:13,683 --> 01:23:17,016
- Correct.
- Shoot. I was really rusty.
1500
01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:20,548
- Where's Cady?
- She went out.
1501
01:23:20,923 --> 01:23:22,151
She's grounded.
1502
01:23:22,825 --> 01:23:24,986
Are they not allowed out
when they're grounded?
1503
01:23:32,034 --> 01:23:35,197
Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling
King and Queen, people.
1504
01:23:35,404 --> 01:23:38,237
These A-holes will represent you
for a full calendar year.
1505
01:23:38,441 --> 01:23:41,706
I'm gonna vote for Regina George
because she got hit by that bus.
1506
01:23:41,911 --> 01:23:45,005
I'm voting for Cady Heron
because she pushed her.
1507
01:23:53,222 --> 01:23:56,589
She's supposed to be grounded,
but he let her out.
1508
01:23:56,859 --> 01:24:00,625
After 87 minutes of very
competitive play, we have a tie.
1509
01:24:00,830 --> 01:24:04,061
In the event of a tie, we move
into a sudden-death round.
1510
01:24:04,267 --> 01:24:07,794
Each team is given the opportunity
to choose their opponent.
1511
01:24:08,204 --> 01:24:11,970
- North Shore, who do you select?
- The girl, dude. The girl.
1512
01:24:12,174 --> 01:24:13,607
Contestant Krafft.
1513
01:24:13,843 --> 01:24:17,040
From Marymount,
Miss Caroline Krafft.
1514
01:24:19,849 --> 01:24:21,714
We pick the girl too.
1515
01:24:21,951 --> 01:24:24,249
And from North Shore,
Miss Cady Heron.
1516
01:24:24,453 --> 01:24:26,182
It's Cady.
1517
01:24:26,622 --> 01:24:28,112
Oh, my God, that's me.
1518
01:24:36,365 --> 01:24:39,528
Miss Caroline Krafft seriously
needed to pluck her eyebrows.
1519
01:24:39,735 --> 01:24:44,069
Her outfit looked like it was picked out
by a blind Sunday school teacher.
1520
01:24:44,273 --> 01:24:47,140
And she had some 99-cent
lip gloss on her snaggletooth.
1521
01:24:47,610 --> 01:24:50,511
And that's when I realized,
making fun of Caroline Krafft
1522
01:24:50,713 --> 01:24:53,273
wouldn't stop her
from beating me in this contest.
1523
01:24:53,482 --> 01:24:56,940
Contestants,
find the limit of this equation.
1524
01:24:57,753 --> 01:25:00,187
Calling somebody else fat
won't make you any skinnier.
1525
01:25:00,389 --> 01:25:02,721
Calling someone stupid
doesn't make you any smarter.
1526
01:25:02,925 --> 01:25:06,383
And ruining Regina George's life
definitely didn't make me any happier.
1527
01:25:06,596 --> 01:25:10,032
All you can do in life is try to solve
the problem in front of you.
1528
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,867
- The limit is negative one.
- Oh, crap. I lost.
1529
01:25:14,070 --> 01:25:15,697
That answer is incorrect.
1530
01:25:16,505 --> 01:25:19,474
Now, we are in a sudden death.
If Miss Heron can answer
1531
01:25:19,675 --> 01:25:22,701
this problem correctly,
we have a winner.
1532
01:25:22,912 --> 01:25:25,642
Limits. Why couldn't I remember
anything about limits?
1533
01:25:25,848 --> 01:25:28,339
Limits. That was the week
Aaron got his hair cut.
1534
01:25:28,551 --> 01:25:30,951
Oh, God, he looked so cute.
OK, focus, Cady.
1535
01:25:31,153 --> 01:25:33,485
What was on the board
behind Aaron's head?
1536
01:25:34,357 --> 01:25:36,917
If the limit never approaches
anything...
1537
01:25:37,126 --> 01:25:39,151
The limit does not exist.
1538
01:25:39,362 --> 01:25:40,693
The limit does not exist!
1539
01:25:40,997 --> 01:25:42,862
Our new state champions,
1540
01:25:43,065 --> 01:25:45,158
- the North Shore Mathletes.
- Yeah!
1541
01:25:54,944 --> 01:25:56,377
How do you like me now?
1542
01:25:56,779 --> 01:26:00,374
You like that? Yeah!
Get some! Get some!
1543
01:26:00,783 --> 01:26:02,978
Awesome. You went
with the leather sleeves.
1544
01:26:03,185 --> 01:26:05,278
- Africa, you did the damn thing.
- Thanks.
1545
01:26:06,756 --> 01:26:08,121
Thanks, K.G.
1546
01:26:08,324 --> 01:26:11,555
We're gonna look so kick-ass
in these when we roll into Spring Fling.
1547
01:26:11,761 --> 01:26:13,422
- Oh, no, I'm not going.
- What?
1548
01:26:13,629 --> 01:26:15,324
Cady, this is your night.
Don't let the haters
1549
01:26:15,531 --> 01:26:16,862
stop you from doing your thang.
1550
01:26:17,400 --> 01:26:18,890
Did you just say "thang"?
1551
01:26:19,101 --> 01:26:20,864
Cady, you don't have to punish
yourself forever.
1552
01:26:21,237 --> 01:26:22,966
But I'm grounded.
1553
01:26:23,272 --> 01:26:24,864
You're already out.
1554
01:26:35,785 --> 01:26:37,810
All right, do we have all
of our nominees
1555
01:26:38,020 --> 01:26:39,851
for king and queen on the stage?
1556
01:26:40,389 --> 01:26:44,792
OK, good. I just wanted to say
that you're all winners.
1557
01:26:45,127 --> 01:26:48,893
And I could not be happier
that this school year's ending.
1558
01:26:49,632 --> 01:26:55,798
Here we go. The winner
of the Spring Fling King,
1559
01:26:56,138 --> 01:26:59,005
- Shane Oman.
- Yes!
1560
01:26:59,375 --> 01:27:01,275
That's what I'm talking about!
1561
01:27:04,080 --> 01:27:06,207
And your Spring Fling Queen,
1562
01:27:06,682 --> 01:27:08,877
future co-chair
of the Student Activities Board
1563
01:27:09,085 --> 01:27:12,054
and winner of two gift certificates
1564
01:27:12,254 --> 01:27:14,245
to the Walker Brothers
Pancake House,
1565
01:27:14,623 --> 01:27:15,988
Cady Heron.
1566
01:27:20,663 --> 01:27:22,460
Where is Cady?
1567
01:27:24,300 --> 01:27:25,961
There she is.
1568
01:27:42,718 --> 01:27:44,208
Thanks.
1569
01:27:46,288 --> 01:27:48,688
Well, half the people in this room
are mad at me.
1570
01:27:48,891 --> 01:27:51,792
And the other half only like me
1571
01:27:51,994 --> 01:27:55,191
because they think I pushed
somebody in front of a bus.
1572
01:27:55,397 --> 01:27:57,592
So that's not good.
1573
01:27:58,067 --> 01:28:00,729
You know, it's not really required
of you to make a speech.
1574
01:28:00,936 --> 01:28:02,870
I'm almost done, I swear.
1575
01:28:03,739 --> 01:28:08,642
To all the people whose feelings
that got hurt by the Burn Book,
1576
01:28:09,178 --> 01:28:10,941
I'm really sorry.
1577
01:28:12,314 --> 01:28:15,340
You know, I've never been
to one of these things before.
1578
01:28:15,551 --> 01:28:18,884
And when I think about
how many people wanted this
1579
01:28:19,955 --> 01:28:21,946
and how many people
cried over it and stuff...
1580
01:28:23,692 --> 01:28:27,594
I mean, I think everybody
looks like royalty tonight.
1581
01:28:27,797 --> 01:28:31,824
Look at Jessica Lopez.
That dress is amazing.
1582
01:28:32,034 --> 01:28:34,832
And Emma Gerber, I mean,
that hairdo must have taken hours,
1583
01:28:35,037 --> 01:28:36,368
and you look really pretty.
1584
01:28:39,141 --> 01:28:40,540
So...
1585
01:28:41,343 --> 01:28:43,777
...why is everybody stressing
over this thing?
1586
01:28:43,979 --> 01:28:48,279
I mean, it's just plastic.
Could really just...
1587
01:28:51,253 --> 01:28:52,584
Share it.
1588
01:28:52,922 --> 01:28:57,291
A piece for Gretchen Wieners,
a partial Spring Fling Queen.
1589
01:28:59,695 --> 01:29:01,993
A piece for Janis Ian.
1590
01:29:03,599 --> 01:29:06,227
Seriously, most people
just take the crown and go.
1591
01:29:06,435 --> 01:29:08,460
And a piece for Regina George.
1592
01:29:08,671 --> 01:29:11,504
She fractured her spine,
and she still looks like a rock star.
1593
01:29:13,976 --> 01:29:15,204
Thank you.
1594
01:29:15,411 --> 01:29:17,845
And some for everybody else.
1595
01:29:27,756 --> 01:29:29,519
God, Mr. Duvall, can you wrap it up?
1596
01:29:30,192 --> 01:29:31,659
Thanks.
1597
01:29:32,494 --> 01:29:34,826
All right, have a good time, everyone.
1598
01:29:41,837 --> 01:29:43,304
Look. I'm a queen.
1599
01:29:43,505 --> 01:29:45,063
As am I.
1600
01:29:45,507 --> 01:29:47,634
- Hey.
- Hey.
1601
01:29:48,277 --> 01:29:50,336
So are we still in a fight?
1602
01:29:50,546 --> 01:29:52,639
Are you still an asshole?
1603
01:29:52,848 --> 01:29:54,076
I don't think so.
1604
01:29:54,283 --> 01:29:56,274
Well, then I guess we're OK.
1605
01:29:56,619 --> 01:29:58,450
Oh, my God, I love this song!
1606
01:29:58,654 --> 01:29:59,780
I hate this song.
1607
01:29:59,989 --> 01:30:01,820
I know this song!
1608
01:30:03,025 --> 01:30:05,220
Man candy, stage right.
1609
01:30:07,897 --> 01:30:10,798
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey. Didn't think you'd make it.
1610
01:30:13,068 --> 01:30:16,333
On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to
present you with two gift certificates...
1611
01:30:16,538 --> 01:30:18,233
- Thanks, sucker.
- Yo, peace.
1612
01:30:19,975 --> 01:30:23,240
One gift certificate to
the Walker Brothers Pancake House.
1613
01:30:23,679 --> 01:30:25,476
Thank you.
1614
01:30:29,919 --> 01:30:31,887
Congratulations on winning State.
1615
01:30:33,055 --> 01:30:34,682
I was so nervous.
They made us do limits.
1616
01:30:34,890 --> 01:30:36,619
I thought I was gonna hurl.
1617
01:30:36,825 --> 01:30:39,089
- How's your stomach now?
- It's fine.
1618
01:30:39,295 --> 01:30:42,128
- Do you feel nauseous at all?
- No.
1619
01:30:42,331 --> 01:30:44,060
- Have you been drinking?
- No.
1620
01:30:44,667 --> 01:30:45,895
OK.
1621
01:30:46,101 --> 01:30:47,329
Grool.
1622
01:31:12,594 --> 01:31:13,959
No.
1623
01:31:15,864 --> 01:31:18,526
- What's up?
- Can I help you?
1624
01:31:19,168 --> 01:31:20,635
You Puerto Rican?
1625
01:31:20,836 --> 01:31:22,394
Lebanese.
1626
01:31:22,604 --> 01:31:24,128
I feel that.
1627
01:31:39,521 --> 01:31:42,115
In case you're wondering,
The Plastics broke up.
1628
01:31:42,324 --> 01:31:44,417
Regina's spine healed,
and her physical therapist
1629
01:31:44,626 --> 01:31:46,924
taught her to channel
all her rage into sports.
1630
01:31:51,900 --> 01:31:54,596
It was perfect because
the jock girls weren't afraid of her.
1631
01:31:58,907 --> 01:32:02,434
Karen used her special talents to do
the morning weather announcements.
1632
01:32:02,644 --> 01:32:06,045
Hi. This is Karen Smith.
It's 68 degrees,
1633
01:32:06,248 --> 01:32:10,480
and there's a 30 percent chance
that it's already raining.
1634
01:32:11,353 --> 01:32:13,184
And Gretchen found herself
a new clique
1635
01:32:13,389 --> 01:32:15,050
and a new queen bee to serve.
1636
01:32:19,995 --> 01:32:23,294
Aaron went to Northwestern,
so I still get to see him on weekends.
1637
01:32:23,499 --> 01:32:24,466
And me?
1638
01:32:24,666 --> 01:32:27,328
I had gone from home-schooled
jungle freak to shiny Plastic
1639
01:32:27,536 --> 01:32:30,630
to most hated person in the world
to actual human being.
1640
01:32:30,839 --> 01:32:32,067
Hey.
1641
01:32:32,508 --> 01:32:36,308
All the drama from last year
just wasn't important anymore.
1642
01:32:36,512 --> 01:32:40,312
School used to be like a shark tank,
but now I could just float.
1643
01:32:40,516 --> 01:32:41,744
Regina.
1644
01:32:41,950 --> 01:32:44,475
Finally, Girl World was at peace.
1645
01:32:46,555 --> 01:32:50,616
Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.
1646
01:32:50,826 --> 01:32:54,193
And if any freshmen
tried to disturb that peace...
1647
01:32:54,396 --> 01:32:57,388
Well, let's just say we knew
how to take care of it.
1648
01:33:03,338 --> 01:33:04,965
Just kidding.
1649
01:33:05,305 --> 01:33:11,217
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