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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,394 --> 00:00:34,394 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 2 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:35,760 (indistinct conversations) 3 00:00:35,825 --> 00:00:39,327 (The "Oogum Boogum" song playing) 4 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 SIMON: I'm just like you. 5 00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:48,336 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 6 00:00:48,404 --> 00:00:50,240 - Happy birthday. - No! 7 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,520 SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 8 00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,708 who married the hot valedictorian. 9 00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:57,412 And, no, they didn't peak in high school. 10 00:00:57,713 --> 00:00:59,081 - (car door closes) - (horn honks) 11 00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:00,587 I have a sister I actually like. 12 00:01:00,647 --> 00:01:01,947 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 13 00:01:02,218 --> 00:01:03,218 And last year, 14 00:01:03,352 --> 00:01:04,563 and 200 episodes of Chopped ago... 15 00:01:04,587 --> 00:01:06,288 she decided she wanted to be a chef. 16 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,022 Which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. 17 00:01:09,091 --> 00:01:10,091 ♪ Cute mini skirt ♪ 18 00:01:10,192 --> 00:01:12,592 ♪ With your brother's sloppy shirt ♪ 19 00:01:13,361 --> 00:01:16,063 ♪ I admit it girl, That I can dig it ♪ 20 00:01:16,132 --> 00:01:17,364 EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack? 21 00:01:17,532 --> 00:01:20,300 - (spits) - Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh. 22 00:01:20,702 --> 00:01:22,062 SIMON: And then there's my friends. 23 00:01:24,106 --> 00:01:25,106 Two of them, I've known 24 00:01:25,273 --> 00:01:27,006 since pretty much the beginning of time. 25 00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:29,209 - Or at least kindergarten. - No. No. 26 00:01:29,445 --> 00:01:30,989 - LEAH: Oh! Sorry! - Okay. How 'bout that? 27 00:01:31,013 --> 00:01:32,379 (crowd cheering) 28 00:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,815 One of them, I just met a few months ago, 29 00:01:34,884 --> 00:01:36,717 but it feels like I've known her forever. 30 00:01:37,017 --> 00:01:38,137 We do everything friends do. 31 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:39,855 We drink way too much iced coffee, 32 00:01:39,921 --> 00:01:42,355 watch bad '90s movies and hang out at Waffle House 33 00:01:42,424 --> 00:01:44,792 dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. 34 00:01:45,227 --> 00:01:46,559 (cheering continues) 35 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:50,131 ♪ You got me doin' funny things Like a clown ♪ 36 00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:52,100 ♪ Just look at me ♪ 37 00:01:54,737 --> 00:01:57,738 ♪ When you wear Your bell-bottom pants... ♪ 38 00:01:58,239 --> 00:01:59,640 SIMON: So, like I said. 39 00:02:00,444 --> 00:02:01,476 I'm just like you. 40 00:02:01,711 --> 00:02:04,113 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 41 00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:09,118 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 42 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:13,921 ♪ Now go on With your bad self ♪ 43 00:02:20,730 --> 00:02:25,398 ♪ Ooh, ooh, now mercy, Mercy on me ♪ 44 00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:27,567 - (knocking on door) - Hey! Morning! Oh! 45 00:02:28,270 --> 00:02:29,470 - Hey! - Sorry. 46 00:02:29,538 --> 00:02:31,050 I didn't realize you were masturbating. 47 00:02:31,074 --> 00:02:32,074 Yeah, very funny. 48 00:02:32,273 --> 00:02:33,453 Your sister's downstairs making some 49 00:02:33,477 --> 00:02:35,444 la-di-da pancake thing she saw on Top Chef, 50 00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:37,210 so we should probably go eat that. 51 00:02:37,279 --> 00:02:38,719 Great. I'll be down in just a second. 52 00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:41,979 Okay. Right after you finish searching the internet for... 53 00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:44,451 lingerie photos of Gigi Habib? 54 00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:47,119 (scoffs) It's Hadid. 55 00:02:47,488 --> 00:02:49,622 Right. I didn't realize she was your girlfriend. 56 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,992 All right, finish up here. 57 00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:53,293 You got me. 58 00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:02,103 (indistinct chatter) 59 00:03:02,838 --> 00:03:04,838 - Morning, guys. - Simon, have a seat, honey. 60 00:03:04,906 --> 00:03:06,286 - Morning, Simon. - You gotta eat your breakfast. 61 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,310 Please don't tell me 62 00:03:07,643 --> 00:03:08,953 that breakfast is the most important meal of the day 63 00:03:08,977 --> 00:03:11,177 because that is just so cliché. You're better than that. 64 00:03:11,245 --> 00:03:13,311 I was gonna say breakfast lowers LDL cholesterol 65 00:03:13,381 --> 00:03:15,217 and prevents fluctuating glucose levels 66 00:03:15,284 --> 00:03:16,917 - that lead to type two diabetes. - Oh! 67 00:03:17,685 --> 00:03:18,685 Touché. 68 00:03:19,154 --> 00:03:21,289 Nora. These are incredible. 69 00:03:21,389 --> 00:03:23,457 Cornmeal pancakes with blackberry compote. 70 00:03:24,358 --> 00:03:25,598 But they're not crumbly enough. 71 00:03:25,628 --> 00:03:27,694 Stop it. They're perfect. 72 00:03:27,896 --> 00:03:28,929 (Nora sighs) 73 00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:29,996 Eat up, Bieber. 74 00:03:31,566 --> 00:03:32,810 - See you, guys. - JACK: See you, Simon. 75 00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:34,936 EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back by seven! It's TV night. 76 00:03:43,244 --> 00:03:44,979 (leaf blower whirs) 77 00:03:47,949 --> 00:03:48,949 Hey! 78 00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:50,249 Morning! 79 00:03:50,552 --> 00:03:52,619 It's Simon! I live right here! 80 00:03:54,255 --> 00:03:55,723 I like your boots! 81 00:03:59,127 --> 00:04:00,127 Okay, bye! 82 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,033 - (sighs) - (horn honks) 83 00:04:08,403 --> 00:04:09,637 God damn. 84 00:04:14,843 --> 00:04:16,209 ("Rollercoaster" playing) 85 00:04:22,617 --> 00:04:25,019 ♪ It was summer When I saw your face ♪ 86 00:04:25,588 --> 00:04:27,921 ♪ Looked like a teenage Runaway... ♪ 87 00:04:29,056 --> 00:04:30,189 - Yo! - Yo! 88 00:04:30,392 --> 00:04:32,026 Had the craziest dream last night. 89 00:04:32,094 --> 00:04:34,127 Hey, Nick, you have the craziest dream every night. 90 00:04:34,228 --> 00:04:35,774 NICK: You don't understand. I'm in this cave, right? 91 00:04:35,798 --> 00:04:36,958 Or maybe it's in outer space. 92 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:38,744 David Beckham is there with these two contact lenses 93 00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:41,334 and then like, blue one or red one, like he's a sexy 94 00:04:41,469 --> 00:04:42,635 Morpheus from Matrix. 95 00:04:42,736 --> 00:04:43,981 And I don't know which one to pick. 96 00:04:44,005 --> 00:04:45,645 I don't know what to do with these things. 97 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:48,309 Oh, my God. Have you guys seen Creek Secrets today? 98 00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:50,611 First of all, you are obsessed with that blog, so... 99 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,346 LEAH: Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson 100 00:04:52,414 --> 00:04:54,048 got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan, 101 00:04:54,116 --> 00:04:55,049 an HJ in the pool. 102 00:04:55,118 --> 00:04:56,817 That's the real reason they drained it. 103 00:04:56,886 --> 00:04:58,353 Man, our janitor needs a raise. 104 00:04:58,420 --> 00:04:59,420 LEAH: Oh, my God. 105 00:04:59,454 --> 00:05:00,894 - And an HPV vaccine. - (Nick laughs) 106 00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:02,799 NICK: Leah, I have this dream, right? 107 00:05:02,823 --> 00:05:04,292 LEAH: Nick, we have a rule, remember? 108 00:05:04,361 --> 00:05:06,095 No analyzing dreams before coffee. 109 00:05:07,361 --> 00:05:09,095 (indistinct chatter) 110 00:05:10,031 --> 00:05:11,275 Hi, could we get four iced coffees, please? 111 00:05:11,299 --> 00:05:13,333 Oh, could you get Abby's with milk? She likes milk. 112 00:05:13,735 --> 00:05:15,701 - One with milk. - What are you, her barista? 113 00:05:16,236 --> 00:05:19,205 (chuckles) It's not hard to remember "with milk." 114 00:05:23,644 --> 00:05:24,745 SIMON: Thank you. 115 00:05:25,247 --> 00:05:26,346 ♪ Hey I'm never the same ♪ 116 00:05:26,546 --> 00:05:30,284 ♪ It's a hundred miles an hour On a dirt road running away ♪ 117 00:05:32,254 --> 00:05:33,321 ABBY: Hey! 118 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:37,258 - Hey. - Hey. 119 00:05:37,324 --> 00:05:40,194 (gasps) Oh, thank you. I am figuratively dying. 120 00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:41,995 So, Abby, last night I dreamt 121 00:05:42,128 --> 00:05:43,695 I put the wrong contacts in my eyes. 122 00:05:43,765 --> 00:05:45,832 - Another dream. You're like... - SIMON: Hmm. 123 00:05:45,899 --> 00:05:47,100 You're like the love child of 124 00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:49,569 Sigmund Freud and Cristiano Ronaldo. 125 00:05:49,739 --> 00:05:51,272 - Oh, my God. - Thanks. 126 00:05:51,505 --> 00:05:52,905 Now, look. I can't see anything 127 00:05:52,974 --> 00:05:54,575 and I'm stumbling around in this cave, 128 00:05:54,642 --> 00:05:57,076 crashing into stuff, and then, I wake up. 129 00:05:57,445 --> 00:05:59,113 - That's it? - NICK: Yeah. 130 00:05:59,714 --> 00:06:01,424 Maybe it's something that you're not seeing clearly. 131 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:03,688 Like something that's, like, right in front of your face. 132 00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:05,354 What am I not seeing? 133 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,921 (exhales) No idea. 134 00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:11,292 ("Love me" playing) 135 00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:15,028 Ooh! Ooh! 136 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:22,968 (indistinct chatter) 137 00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:34,549 ♪ Hey, would you like to ♪ 138 00:06:34,615 --> 00:06:38,518 ♪ Look outside sometimes? No ♪ 139 00:06:38,586 --> 00:06:42,455 ♪ I'm just With my friends online ♪ 140 00:06:42,524 --> 00:06:45,693 ♪ And there's things We'd like to change... ♪ 141 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,059 We should be hot Pokémon for Halloween. 142 00:06:48,129 --> 00:06:48,862 Oh, yeah. 143 00:06:48,932 --> 00:06:50,299 But I get to be slutty Charmander. 144 00:06:50,398 --> 00:06:51,564 Cool scarf, Ethan. 145 00:06:51,765 --> 00:06:53,344 Hope it doesn't get caught in your vagina. 146 00:06:53,368 --> 00:06:55,368 Great choice on the cargo pants, by the way. 147 00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:58,139 It looks like you got gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx. 148 00:06:58,341 --> 00:06:59,675 Whatever, fag. (laughs) 149 00:07:01,277 --> 00:07:04,412 ETHAN: Honestly, it's just not even a challenge anymore. 150 00:07:04,713 --> 00:07:05,713 LEAH: Dicks. 151 00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:07,706 Wish Ethan wouldn't make it so easy for them. 152 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:09,110 Yeah, well, at my old school, 153 00:07:09,217 --> 00:07:10,894 that would have been settled with a knife fight. 154 00:07:10,918 --> 00:07:14,687 - (bell rings) - Good morning, Creekwood High! 155 00:07:14,756 --> 00:07:16,090 Come on, phones off! 156 00:07:16,157 --> 00:07:17,657 There's a whole world to look at! 157 00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:19,726 You can look people in the eyes! 158 00:07:19,861 --> 00:07:21,995 (groans) Gah! Yeah. 159 00:07:22,197 --> 00:07:23,740 Stop with the selfies. You're not all that. 160 00:07:23,764 --> 00:07:25,204 - I'll see you guys at lunch. - Yeah. 161 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,834 Wow! Simonay. 162 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,404 Look at those new kicks, my brother. 163 00:07:29,470 --> 00:07:31,710 Where'd you get those? Where could I get a pair of those? 164 00:07:31,771 --> 00:07:33,011 - I forget. Sorry. - You forget? 165 00:07:33,038 --> 00:07:34,586 Come on, you gotta let me know the brand! 166 00:07:34,610 --> 00:07:35,877 I want to be sneaker brothers. 167 00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:39,945 Oh, I see more phones! Who took your phones now? 168 00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:44,715 Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get 'em at my office! 169 00:07:45,152 --> 00:07:47,685 I can't believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks. 170 00:07:47,855 --> 00:07:49,857 Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up. 171 00:07:50,158 --> 00:07:51,736 SIMON: Don't you wish you were talentless like me? 172 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,171 Here. Let me show you a thing or two. 173 00:07:53,195 --> 00:07:54,638 SIMON: Because then you could just be living the easy life 174 00:07:54,662 --> 00:07:55,840 as company member number eight. 175 00:07:55,864 --> 00:07:56,964 (Abby laughs) 176 00:07:57,264 --> 00:07:58,932 Well, well, well... 177 00:07:59,399 --> 00:08:01,499 If it isn't my fellow thespians. 178 00:08:02,537 --> 00:08:03,537 Hey, Martin. 179 00:08:03,638 --> 00:08:05,905 Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby. 180 00:08:06,274 --> 00:08:06,974 Hi. 181 00:08:07,209 --> 00:08:09,144 Excited to rehearse with you later. 182 00:08:10,478 --> 00:08:11,478 Hey, uh, so, fun fact. 183 00:08:11,646 --> 00:08:13,624 You know that Cabaret was actually based off a play 184 00:08:13,648 --> 00:08:14,850 called I Am Camera? 185 00:08:14,917 --> 00:08:16,616 Then I Am a Camera was based off 186 00:08:16,683 --> 00:08:18,851 this novel called Goodbye to Berlin. 187 00:08:18,919 --> 00:08:21,219 And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off 188 00:08:21,355 --> 00:08:22,523 Christopher Isherwood's 189 00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,691 - early years in Berlin. - (bell rings) 190 00:08:24,959 --> 00:08:26,825 Wow. That's awesome. I have homeroom. 191 00:08:26,895 --> 00:08:27,895 Yeah. All right. 192 00:08:28,030 --> 00:08:29,540 Well, I think she found that interesting. 193 00:08:29,564 --> 00:08:30,564 Bye, Martin. 194 00:08:30,931 --> 00:08:32,531 Bye, big boy. (chuckles) 195 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:36,069 Suraj! Now. 196 00:08:37,538 --> 00:08:39,039 Come on. You know the drill. 197 00:08:40,141 --> 00:08:42,642 EMILY: I've had an inspiration. How about The Affair? 198 00:08:43,144 --> 00:08:45,546 No. No. We cannot watch The Affair as a family. 199 00:08:45,648 --> 00:08:48,015 - Why not? - Because it's all about sex. 200 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,552 Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love. 201 00:08:50,618 --> 00:08:51,618 Oh, God. 202 00:08:51,718 --> 00:08:53,987 Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed. 203 00:08:54,257 --> 00:08:57,223 Don't therapize us, okay? We are not your patients. 204 00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:58,703 - We're your family. - EMILY: That's true. 205 00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:00,939 If you were my patients, you'd be much more well-adjusted. 206 00:09:00,963 --> 00:09:03,230 - Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. - Thank you. 207 00:09:03,631 --> 00:09:04,898 - She got you. - You know what? 208 00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:07,000 We didn't see last week's episode of The Bachelor. 209 00:09:07,235 --> 00:09:09,115 Yeah, how did that guy even become the bachelor? 210 00:09:09,169 --> 00:09:09,868 Why? 211 00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:11,570 Well, he's clearly gay. 212 00:09:11,906 --> 00:09:13,574 - NORA: No, he's not. - Really? 213 00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:14,686 - He's handsome. - That date, 214 00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:15,710 where he took the girl to 215 00:09:15,744 --> 00:09:17,019 the "make your own perfume" place? 216 00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,876 Dad! The producers plan those dates. 217 00:09:18,946 --> 00:09:20,186 He is so fruity. He's so fruity. 218 00:09:20,216 --> 00:09:22,282 He's a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me? 219 00:09:22,416 --> 00:09:23,949 - He has more chemistry - Just stop it. 220 00:09:24,017 --> 00:09:26,451 with Chris Harrison, than any of those girls. 221 00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,948 (whispers) After this, I gotta show you something. 222 00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,457 Okay? Let's watch The Americans. 223 00:09:31,525 --> 00:09:33,726 EMILY: Every single episode, you here next to me. 224 00:09:33,795 --> 00:09:35,239 So your mother decided that we should make 225 00:09:35,263 --> 00:09:36,672 each other anniversary presents this year. 226 00:09:36,696 --> 00:09:39,065 You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap. 227 00:09:39,201 --> 00:09:41,634 Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy. 228 00:09:41,735 --> 00:09:42,735 Look at this. 229 00:09:42,869 --> 00:09:45,537 I present to you, a Jack Spier production. 230 00:09:45,806 --> 00:09:47,246 - (mouse clicks) - ("Heaven" playing) 231 00:09:47,410 --> 00:09:50,278 ♪ I don't need to be the king Of the world ♪ 232 00:09:50,411 --> 00:09:51,411 Wait, wait. 233 00:09:52,247 --> 00:09:53,247 Look at that! 234 00:09:53,581 --> 00:09:55,015 Oh, it's so good. 235 00:09:55,082 --> 00:10:00,519 ♪ As long as I'm the hero Of this little girl ♪ 236 00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:02,188 Look at this. Wait, wait, wait. 237 00:10:03,156 --> 00:10:05,258 ♪ Heaven isn't too far away ♪ 238 00:10:05,329 --> 00:10:06,361 SIMON: Yup. Okay. 239 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,560 (stops video) 240 00:10:07,862 --> 00:10:08,862 What are you... 241 00:10:08,997 --> 00:10:11,396 Look, this is your 20th anniversary, 242 00:10:11,466 --> 00:10:13,400 so I'm gonna be super real with you right now. 243 00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:15,461 This looks like a fourth grader made it. 244 00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:18,136 And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class. 245 00:10:18,274 --> 00:10:19,974 Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader. 246 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,841 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 247 00:10:21,975 --> 00:10:24,009 I got fade-ins. I got dissolves. 248 00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:25,690 - This is beautiful. - Get up for a second. 249 00:10:25,714 --> 00:10:27,014 I'll help you. Trust me. 250 00:10:27,248 --> 00:10:29,249 We can make this good. We just gotta put in... 251 00:10:29,849 --> 00:10:31,449 you know, some home video. 252 00:10:32,021 --> 00:10:34,756 Maybe put in some better music. 253 00:10:34,988 --> 00:10:37,390 "Better music"? This was huge when we were young. 254 00:10:37,626 --> 00:10:39,660 Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. 255 00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,995 ("Waterloo Sunset" playing) 256 00:10:45,568 --> 00:10:50,004 (cell phone ringing) 257 00:10:52,706 --> 00:10:53,606 Hey. 258 00:10:53,673 --> 00:10:54,753 Have you seen the new post? 259 00:10:54,874 --> 00:10:56,307 No. What? Oh, my God. 260 00:10:56,409 --> 00:10:57,988 You know, I'm never getting back in that pool again. 261 00:10:58,012 --> 00:11:00,348 Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school. 262 00:11:03,718 --> 00:11:04,718 What? 263 00:11:04,786 --> 00:11:06,095 LEAH: Yeah, it's on Creek Secrets. 264 00:11:06,119 --> 00:11:09,788 ♪ People so busy Makes me feel dizzy ♪ 265 00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:12,960 ♪ Taxi light shines So bright... ♪ 266 00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,697 - Who do you think it is? - (exhales) 267 00:11:17,798 --> 00:11:18,966 I bet it's that sophomore 268 00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:20,601 with the rimless glasses. I get a vibe. 269 00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:22,034 - Actually. - Hmm. 270 00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,869 Maybe it's Parker O'Malley. 271 00:11:24,339 --> 00:11:25,948 I've heard he's, like, obsessed with Les Mis. 272 00:11:25,972 --> 00:11:27,473 Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go. 273 00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:29,475 Bieber just took a dump on the floor. 274 00:11:29,611 --> 00:11:30,477 LEAH: Aw, Beebs. 275 00:11:30,578 --> 00:11:32,378 - Feed him some rice... - Can I call you back? 276 00:11:35,551 --> 00:11:38,452 SIMON: "Sometimes, I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. 277 00:11:38,885 --> 00:11:40,245 One minute I'm on top of the world, 278 00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:41,753 and the next, I'm at rock bottom. 279 00:11:41,921 --> 00:11:44,157 Over and over, all day long. 280 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,159 Because a lot of my life is great, 281 00:11:46,294 --> 00:11:47,728 but nobody knows I'm gay. 282 00:11:48,496 --> 00:11:49,496 Blue." 283 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:51,399 (exhales) 284 00:11:55,102 --> 00:11:59,305 ♪ As long as I gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 285 00:11:59,908 --> 00:12:01,742 ♪ I am in paradise ♪ 286 00:12:05,613 --> 00:12:10,582 ♪ Every day I look at the world From my window ♪ 287 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,988 ♪ But chilly, chilly Is the evening time ♪ 288 00:12:18,393 --> 00:12:23,629 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 289 00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:30,436 ♪ Terry meets Julie Waterloo Station ♪ 290 00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:33,473 ♪ Every Friday night ♪ 291 00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:34,540 (clears throat) 292 00:12:35,612 --> 00:12:39,614 ♪ But I am so lazy Don't want to wander... ♪ 293 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,313 Blue. Okay. 294 00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:43,784 (exhales) 295 00:12:44,251 --> 00:12:50,654 ♪ But I don't feel afraid ♪ 296 00:12:51,892 --> 00:12:53,926 SIMON: Dear Blue, I'm just like you. 297 00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:56,040 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 298 00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:57,541 My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 299 00:12:57,565 --> 00:12:58,742 who married the hot valedictorian. 300 00:12:58,766 --> 00:13:00,142 And no, they didn't peak in high school. 301 00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:01,344 I have a sister I actually like. 302 00:13:01,368 --> 00:13:02,414 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 303 00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:04,138 And then, there's my friends. 304 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:06,372 We do everything friends do. We drink way too much... 305 00:13:06,438 --> 00:13:08,339 So, like I said, I'm just like you. 306 00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:11,009 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 307 00:13:11,544 --> 00:13:13,546 Except I have one huge-ass secret. 308 00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:24,021 ♪ As long as they gaze on Waterloo sunset ♪ 309 00:13:24,324 --> 00:13:26,525 ♪ They are in paradise ♪ 310 00:13:38,672 --> 00:13:39,672 Jacques. 311 00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:45,411 ♪ Waterloo sunset's fine Waterloo sunset's fine ♪ 312 00:13:51,617 --> 00:13:53,385 (panting) 313 00:13:54,023 --> 00:13:55,590 Hey. Morning. 314 00:13:58,025 --> 00:13:59,125 (cell phone chimes) 315 00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:10,336 (sighs) 316 00:14:11,338 --> 00:14:12,338 Nothin'. 317 00:14:16,242 --> 00:14:18,076 TEACHER: Math is what we're talking about. 318 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:20,677 Can anyone answer for me how we find the value 319 00:14:20,813 --> 00:14:24,952 of "d-y by d-x" that I have written up on the board? 320 00:14:25,653 --> 00:14:27,854 Does anyone want to... Yes! Simon. 321 00:14:28,790 --> 00:14:29,857 Can I go to the bathroom? 322 00:14:30,657 --> 00:14:31,924 Sure, it's fine. 323 00:14:31,992 --> 00:14:32,992 Thanks. 324 00:14:54,815 --> 00:14:55,815 (sighs) 325 00:14:57,584 --> 00:15:00,151 Simon. Simon. 326 00:15:00,321 --> 00:15:02,288 - Yeah. - Can I get some fries? 327 00:15:02,689 --> 00:15:03,689 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 328 00:15:05,093 --> 00:15:06,369 GARRETT: I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers 329 00:15:06,393 --> 00:15:08,353 score so many goals because they shave their legs. 330 00:15:08,462 --> 00:15:10,295 Garrett, I'm not gonna shave my legs. 331 00:15:10,463 --> 00:15:12,597 It makes their kicks more aerodynamic. 332 00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,868 We can just do extra burpees, man. 333 00:15:14,936 --> 00:15:15,936 Whatever, Bram. 334 00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:19,540 Guys, I just found a press-on nail in my salad. 335 00:15:20,775 --> 00:15:21,775 BOTH: Debbie. 336 00:15:22,709 --> 00:15:23,776 (indistinct chatter) 337 00:15:26,713 --> 00:15:28,747 Why is there no cell reception at this school? 338 00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:30,350 I swear to God. 339 00:15:36,889 --> 00:15:38,923 - Simonay, Simonay. - Hey. 340 00:15:38,994 --> 00:15:41,161 What are you doing? You can't text in the halls. 341 00:15:41,228 --> 00:15:42,471 How many times have I told you that? 342 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:43,607 I can't have all my students 343 00:15:43,631 --> 00:15:45,265 Tindering it up. That's my department. 344 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:46,633 - Right. - (laughing) 345 00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,432 It actually is. 346 00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:49,668 I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight. 347 00:15:49,869 --> 00:15:51,134 She is cute! 348 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,940 "Ew! Vice principals can't go on dates. That's gross." 349 00:15:55,942 --> 00:15:57,209 We're people too, Simon. 350 00:15:57,611 --> 00:15:59,422 We like to go out. We like to have a good time. 351 00:15:59,446 --> 00:16:01,356 We like to have sex. That's not a big deal, right? 352 00:16:01,380 --> 00:16:02,615 Yeah, no. No biggie at all. 353 00:16:02,682 --> 00:16:04,396 Actually. You know, I totally see you as a person. 354 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,628 - Thank you. I appreciate that. - Yeah. 355 00:16:05,652 --> 00:16:07,128 - Thank you very much. - You're welcome. 356 00:16:07,152 --> 00:16:08,353 - Seriously. - Yeah. Yeah. 357 00:16:08,421 --> 00:16:09,565 Could I just get my phone though? 358 00:16:09,589 --> 00:16:10,901 No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to keep it 359 00:16:10,925 --> 00:16:12,025 until after play practice. 360 00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:13,460 But you will get your precious 361 00:16:13,627 --> 00:16:15,295 after play practice, okay? I promise. 362 00:16:15,562 --> 00:16:16,829 So how's play practice going? 363 00:16:16,996 --> 00:16:19,010 - SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's... - MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright? 364 00:16:19,034 --> 00:16:20,400 SIMON: She's good. 365 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:22,568 MR. WORTH: She's good? She doesn't like men. 366 00:16:22,869 --> 00:16:26,638 ♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪ 367 00:16:26,807 --> 00:16:31,975 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 368 00:16:32,145 --> 00:16:33,145 (laughs) 369 00:16:33,213 --> 00:16:39,351 ♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 370 00:16:47,495 --> 00:16:48,961 [claps] 371 00:16:49,697 --> 00:16:50,697 Okay. 372 00:16:50,897 --> 00:16:54,533 Those aren't actual claps. My hands are tired! (chuckles) 373 00:16:55,402 --> 00:16:57,469 Okay! All right. 374 00:16:57,805 --> 00:16:58,805 That was... 375 00:17:00,007 --> 00:17:01,606 Cal, help me. That was... 376 00:17:01,808 --> 00:17:02,540 That was a start? 377 00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:05,044 That was a start! Is what it was. 378 00:17:05,246 --> 00:17:06,246 That was a start. 379 00:17:06,446 --> 00:17:08,981 You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, 380 00:17:09,283 --> 00:17:11,050 regardless of talent... (chuckles) 381 00:17:11,585 --> 00:17:14,219 ...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. 382 00:17:14,521 --> 00:17:16,355 Yes, I did. (chuckles) 383 00:17:17,090 --> 00:17:18,090 Yeah. 384 00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:21,292 That's it. That's my whole speech. 385 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:22,394 TAYLOR: Ms. Albright. 386 00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:25,264 Hi. That was the biggest train wreck 387 00:17:25,331 --> 00:17:26,397 our stage has ever seen. 388 00:17:26,465 --> 00:17:27,498 And Rob and Brianne 389 00:17:27,634 --> 00:17:29,354 were practically dry humping the whole song. 390 00:17:29,537 --> 00:17:30,804 MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw. 391 00:17:31,305 --> 00:17:34,274 Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? 392 00:17:34,574 --> 00:17:38,142 This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. 393 00:17:38,545 --> 00:17:41,847 Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! 394 00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,383 - My boy. - (all laughing) 395 00:17:44,052 --> 00:17:45,052 It is a rental. 396 00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:49,122 I was an extra in The Lion King, 397 00:17:49,189 --> 00:17:50,556 and this is where I am. 398 00:17:52,992 --> 00:17:54,393 Hey. What time is it? 399 00:17:54,762 --> 00:17:57,330 Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go. 400 00:17:57,931 --> 00:18:00,099 One! Two! Three! Four! 401 00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:02,401 ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪ 402 00:18:02,469 --> 00:18:03,836 MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you. 403 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:06,740 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo! 404 00:18:06,973 --> 00:18:08,974 - Mr. Worth. - Hey, what's up, my brother? 405 00:18:09,042 --> 00:18:10,444 Hey, just here for my phone. 406 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,578 Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. 407 00:18:12,712 --> 00:18:14,212 How'd you enjoy being unplugged? 408 00:18:14,348 --> 00:18:15,348 It was great. 409 00:18:15,583 --> 00:18:16,583 - Great, right? - Yeah. 410 00:18:16,651 --> 00:18:18,251 This isn't life, man. This is plugged. 411 00:18:18,418 --> 00:18:19,985 - This is unplugged. - Mm-hmm. 412 00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:22,052 Plugged. Unplugged. 413 00:18:22,757 --> 00:18:25,077 All right, Simon, I know that I'm hard on you. I really do. 414 00:18:25,125 --> 00:18:26,191 SIMON: Mm-hmm. 415 00:18:26,393 --> 00:18:28,727 But it's only 'cause I really see myself in you. 416 00:18:29,063 --> 00:18:31,729 Uh... You know, I don't know if I'd say that. 417 00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:33,967 No, I see it, it's obvious. It's obvious. 418 00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:35,400 I know there's a lot 419 00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:36,702 - going on there, man. - Yup. 420 00:18:36,836 --> 00:18:38,436 And I bet you got a lot of questions. 421 00:18:38,504 --> 00:18:40,024 Is there something you wanna say to me? 422 00:18:40,807 --> 00:18:41,507 No. 423 00:18:41,709 --> 00:18:43,149 You know my policy. What does it say? 424 00:18:43,811 --> 00:18:45,811 - "Open door. Open ears." - "Open door. Open ears." 425 00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:47,946 There's nothing you want to say? 426 00:18:48,314 --> 00:18:49,716 - Nope. - You sure? 427 00:18:50,017 --> 00:18:50,716 - Yeah. - Okay. 428 00:18:50,917 --> 00:18:52,260 - It's a great sign though. - Thank you. 429 00:18:52,284 --> 00:18:53,462 Thank you. Now don't text and drive. 430 00:18:53,486 --> 00:18:54,686 That's how my cat got murdered. 431 00:18:55,122 --> 00:18:56,454 - Okay. - (laughs) 432 00:18:56,589 --> 00:18:59,058 I'm just kidding. I don't have cats. I got asthma. 433 00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:15,241 (sighs) 434 00:19:17,310 --> 00:19:18,310 BLUE: A secret, huh? 435 00:19:18,644 --> 00:19:20,246 Is it the same as my secret? 436 00:19:20,747 --> 00:19:22,716 If it is, when did you know? 437 00:19:22,917 --> 00:19:25,751 - Have you told anyone? Blue. - (horn honking) 438 00:19:27,988 --> 00:19:28,988 Okay. 439 00:19:41,734 --> 00:19:44,302 SIMON: No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. 440 00:19:44,871 --> 00:19:47,205 And, honestly, I can't even really explain why. 441 00:19:48,608 --> 00:19:50,943 Deep down, I know my family would be fine with it. 442 00:19:51,242 --> 00:19:53,043 Hey, what rhymes with "patriarchy"? 443 00:19:54,081 --> 00:19:55,514 That says "patriachy" though. 444 00:19:56,081 --> 00:19:57,081 Oh, shit. 445 00:19:58,151 --> 00:20:00,218 SIMON: My mom's about as liberal as they come. 446 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:02,955 And my dad isn't exactly the macho type. 447 00:20:03,824 --> 00:20:05,091 I mean, Creekwood's resident 448 00:20:05,157 --> 00:20:07,258 out-gay kid seems to be doing just fine. 449 00:20:07,527 --> 00:20:09,161 When Ethan came out, no one even cared. 450 00:20:09,296 --> 00:20:11,930 Guys, I have something to tell you. 451 00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:13,865 I'm gay. 452 00:20:14,101 --> 00:20:17,903 Wow, really? That's really great, Ethan. 453 00:20:18,171 --> 00:20:19,537 Oh, my God. No way. 454 00:20:19,907 --> 00:20:22,608 Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea. 455 00:20:22,676 --> 00:20:24,444 What a complete surprise! 456 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:25,975 Too much, Claire. 457 00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,314 SIMON: As for how I knew I was gay, 458 00:20:28,381 --> 00:20:29,850 it was a bunch of little things. 459 00:20:30,782 --> 00:20:32,318 Like this one recurring dream 460 00:20:32,385 --> 00:20:34,253 I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. 461 00:20:39,961 --> 00:20:42,496 And then proceeded to have every night for a month. 462 00:20:49,068 --> 00:20:50,701 I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. 463 00:20:50,768 --> 00:20:53,370 I can't. He's so cute. He's so cute. 464 00:20:53,607 --> 00:20:54,607 (clears throat) 465 00:20:54,675 --> 00:20:56,209 Come on, he's like Jesus and chocolate. 466 00:20:57,142 --> 00:20:58,142 Just look at him. 467 00:20:58,278 --> 00:20:59,278 SIMON: Then I realized 468 00:20:59,347 --> 00:21:00,913 it really wasn't about the music. 469 00:21:01,648 --> 00:21:02,992 And then there was my first girlfriend. 470 00:21:03,016 --> 00:21:04,851 I think I'm falling in love with you. 471 00:21:05,518 --> 00:21:07,520 Wow. Thank you. Be right back. 472 00:21:11,157 --> 00:21:12,291 Wasn't my proudest moment. 473 00:21:20,533 --> 00:21:22,435 How 'bout you? How did you know? 474 00:21:22,702 --> 00:21:24,737 Warmly, Jacques. 475 00:21:29,542 --> 00:21:30,775 Fondly, Jacques. 476 00:21:36,381 --> 00:21:37,381 Jacques. 477 00:21:44,491 --> 00:21:45,590 (cell phone chimes) 478 00:21:50,228 --> 00:21:51,563 BLUE: Jacques, don't worry. 479 00:21:51,698 --> 00:21:53,658 If your proudest moment happened in middle school, 480 00:21:53,766 --> 00:21:55,134 that would be pretty sad. 481 00:21:55,700 --> 00:21:56,967 For me, I realized I liked guys 482 00:21:57,204 --> 00:21:57,904 watching Game of Thrones. 483 00:21:58,206 --> 00:21:59,766 My friends were all holding their breath 484 00:22:00,006 --> 00:22:02,239 waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. 485 00:22:03,010 --> 00:22:05,044 I was crushing hard on Jon Snow. 486 00:22:05,612 --> 00:22:07,147 SIMON: Well, I've never told anyone 487 00:22:07,214 --> 00:22:10,049 about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. 488 00:22:10,281 --> 00:22:11,582 And for the record, 489 00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:13,161 I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice 490 00:22:13,185 --> 00:22:13,984 for your sexual awakening. 491 00:22:14,186 --> 00:22:15,886 So I guess, if I want to find you at school 492 00:22:15,954 --> 00:22:18,156 I just have to look for the Game of Thrones fanatic. 493 00:22:30,136 --> 00:22:31,136 Wow. 494 00:22:31,237 --> 00:22:33,205 I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," 495 00:22:33,273 --> 00:22:34,507 and it made me think of you. 496 00:22:34,908 --> 00:22:36,908 BLUE: You'll probably think my music taste is lame. 497 00:22:37,344 --> 00:22:38,887 Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally 498 00:22:38,911 --> 00:22:40,545 who loves show tunes. 499 00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:42,826 Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself 500 00:22:42,850 --> 00:22:45,317 are things I've never talked about with anyone. 501 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,096 There's something about you that makes me want to open up. 502 00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,888 And that's slightly terrifying for me. 503 00:22:49,956 --> 00:22:51,066 SIMON: So I've been thinking, 504 00:22:51,090 --> 00:22:52,725 maybe I should be Jon Snow for Halloween. 505 00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:55,094 What about you? Who are you gonna be? 506 00:22:56,229 --> 00:22:58,397 BLUE: I'm not dressing up. For me, 507 00:22:58,631 --> 00:22:59,775 Halloween's all about the Oreos 508 00:22:59,799 --> 00:23:01,367 with the orange frosting in the middle. 509 00:23:03,302 --> 00:23:04,870 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey. 510 00:23:04,938 --> 00:23:07,437 Wow. Look at that smile. You're glowing, man. 511 00:23:07,506 --> 00:23:08,406 No. 512 00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:09,518 You are glowing. You look happy. 513 00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:10,542 Oh, just regular. 514 00:23:10,611 --> 00:23:11,777 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 515 00:23:11,845 --> 00:23:14,079 Me too. I'm a little meh. 516 00:23:15,181 --> 00:23:16,181 Why "meh"? 517 00:23:16,316 --> 00:23:19,752 Oh, I had my big Tinder date last night. Oh, God. 518 00:23:19,886 --> 00:23:22,020 She was not into it. (chuckles) 519 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,788 At. All. 520 00:23:24,257 --> 00:23:25,356 (bell ringing) 521 00:23:25,426 --> 00:23:27,059 - Oh, come on. Too soon. - No. 522 00:23:27,258 --> 00:23:28,459 The bell is a buzzkill. 523 00:23:28,528 --> 00:23:29,996 - See you, Mr. Worth. - All right. 524 00:23:31,497 --> 00:23:32,497 (Simon sighs) 525 00:23:32,630 --> 00:23:34,044 Well, thank you for your help, Fräulein. 526 00:23:34,068 --> 00:23:35,068 You're welcome. 527 00:23:35,266 --> 00:23:38,736 German accent for Cabaret. Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley. 528 00:23:40,106 --> 00:23:41,106 Ladies. 529 00:23:42,510 --> 00:23:45,243 Let's see what you got, interwebs. 530 00:23:51,652 --> 00:23:52,852 LEAH: Here are your burnt tots, 531 00:23:52,886 --> 00:23:54,820 because you have horrible taste. 532 00:23:55,722 --> 00:23:56,765 SIMON: Here's your green banana, 533 00:23:56,789 --> 00:23:58,223 because you like disgusting things. 534 00:23:58,758 --> 00:23:59,758 Wow, you guys are weird. 535 00:23:59,925 --> 00:24:02,425 Yup. They're practically Cantonese twins. 536 00:24:02,761 --> 00:24:04,697 - Siamese. - Yeah. Siamese. 537 00:24:05,331 --> 00:24:06,064 Yeah, agree to disagree. 538 00:24:06,265 --> 00:24:07,643 I don't think that's one of those things 539 00:24:07,667 --> 00:24:08,711 where you can agree to disagree. 540 00:24:08,735 --> 00:24:09,636 - ...disagree. - It's just right. 541 00:24:09,703 --> 00:24:10,903 NICK: To each his own. 542 00:24:12,337 --> 00:24:13,337 BRAM: Oreos. 543 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,440 Man, I love those. 544 00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:17,285 Halloween ones are the best, right? 545 00:24:17,309 --> 00:24:18,309 Yeah. 546 00:24:19,611 --> 00:24:20,946 Er, so, guys, I have great news. 547 00:24:21,013 --> 00:24:22,781 My aunt's boyfriend just took off 548 00:24:22,850 --> 00:24:24,550 with her car and all her jewelry. 549 00:24:24,617 --> 00:24:26,218 Bram, that's terrible news! 550 00:24:26,283 --> 00:24:26,984 I know, but it's like, 551 00:24:27,154 --> 00:24:28,087 the third time it's happened to her. 552 00:24:28,155 --> 00:24:29,855 She has really bad taste in men. 553 00:24:30,422 --> 00:24:33,925 Anyways, my mom is going down to Orlando to deal with it 554 00:24:33,993 --> 00:24:37,061 which means I get to throw a Halloween party. 555 00:24:37,665 --> 00:24:39,031 - Awesome! - Yay! 556 00:24:39,098 --> 00:24:39,798 Nice! 557 00:24:39,966 --> 00:24:41,732 Thank you, Bram's dumb-ass aunt! 558 00:24:41,867 --> 00:24:43,544 All right, this is gonna be epic, you guys. 559 00:24:43,568 --> 00:24:44,969 I can bring my karaoke machine. 560 00:24:45,104 --> 00:24:47,104 All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night! 561 00:24:47,574 --> 00:24:49,118 Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram's house! 562 00:24:49,142 --> 00:24:50,808 You really set this in motion, man. 563 00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:51,775 I know, right? 564 00:24:51,844 --> 00:24:52,844 - Hey, little guy. - Me? 565 00:24:53,179 --> 00:24:55,646 Halloween party. Friday night. Bram's house. Be there. 566 00:24:55,982 --> 00:24:57,158 You're gonna freak him out, man. 567 00:24:57,182 --> 00:24:57,882 GARRETT: Yeah. 568 00:24:58,151 --> 00:24:59,751 LEAH: I know. He's, like, nine years old. 569 00:25:07,258 --> 00:25:09,693 BLUE: Very relieved that we're in agreement on Oreos. 570 00:25:09,763 --> 00:25:11,863 That would have been a deal-breaker for me. 571 00:25:12,298 --> 00:25:16,334 On a totally different, non-cookie related note... 572 00:25:16,869 --> 00:25:19,302 is it weird that I have no idea what you look like, 573 00:25:19,371 --> 00:25:22,541 but I can't stop thinking about kissing you. 574 00:25:24,310 --> 00:25:26,477 TEACHER: Simon. Simon. 575 00:25:27,813 --> 00:25:29,047 Eyes on your own test. 576 00:25:38,657 --> 00:25:40,390 Don't stop on my account, Rob and Brianne. 577 00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:42,394 That's the most action I've seen in weeks. 578 00:25:42,461 --> 00:25:44,563 What do we got here? Ah! 579 00:25:44,630 --> 00:25:45,870 When we're done, it's gonna look 580 00:25:45,930 --> 00:25:48,800 like a real German sex club. Don't ask me how I know. 581 00:25:50,135 --> 00:25:53,237 Hey! Hey! The spray paint is for painting, 582 00:25:53,306 --> 00:25:54,306 not for huffing. 583 00:25:54,740 --> 00:25:56,100 You don't want to get good at that. 584 00:25:56,441 --> 00:25:58,052 Okay, do you guys think I should dye my hair grey 585 00:25:58,076 --> 00:25:59,543 - to play Fräulein Schneider? - Sure. 586 00:26:00,213 --> 00:26:01,756 TAYLOR: Really? But my hair is kind of like my thing. 587 00:26:01,780 --> 00:26:03,014 I'm gonna go get a soda. 588 00:26:03,581 --> 00:26:04,581 Do you want anything? 589 00:26:04,783 --> 00:26:05,681 No. 590 00:26:05,751 --> 00:26:07,118 MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me. 591 00:26:15,627 --> 00:26:17,861 Simon! Hey, hey, hey. 592 00:26:17,931 --> 00:26:19,198 - Hey, Martin. - Buddy. 593 00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:23,067 Hey, um, I used the computer in the library right after you. 594 00:26:23,935 --> 00:26:24,935 - Okay. - Mm-hmm. 595 00:26:25,270 --> 00:26:28,673 Well, I went to Gmail, and it pulled up your account. 596 00:26:29,008 --> 00:26:30,841 And I, uh, read some of your emails. 597 00:26:30,941 --> 00:26:32,121 I know I probably shouldn't've, 598 00:26:32,145 --> 00:26:33,912 but they were, like, right there. (chuckles) 599 00:26:34,181 --> 00:26:36,281 So you'll be interested to know my brother's gay. 600 00:26:39,985 --> 00:26:42,919 No. Martin, that wouldn't interest me to know. 601 00:26:43,354 --> 00:26:45,188 Okay. Don't worry. I won't show anyone. 602 00:26:46,559 --> 00:26:47,594 Show anyone what? 603 00:26:50,195 --> 00:26:51,730 Did you print my emails or something? 604 00:26:51,863 --> 00:26:53,931 Oh, no, no. (chuckles) 605 00:26:54,466 --> 00:26:55,899 I screenshot them. 606 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,167 - You screenshotted my emails? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 607 00:26:58,236 --> 00:26:59,516 Let me talk to you for a second. 608 00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:02,817 - Oh, Ms. Bradley. - MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin. 609 00:27:02,841 --> 00:27:04,508 - Did you feather your hair? - No. 610 00:27:05,377 --> 00:27:06,377 MARTIN: Looking good. 611 00:27:07,481 --> 00:27:08,481 This is a good section. 612 00:27:09,816 --> 00:27:10,816 MARTIN: Jeez. 613 00:27:11,317 --> 00:27:13,317 Now, why the hell did you screenshot my emails? 614 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,787 Ah, well, you and Abby Susso are good friends. Right? 615 00:27:16,856 --> 00:27:17,856 Yeah. We know each other. 616 00:27:17,990 --> 00:27:19,135 What does that have to do with anything? 617 00:27:19,159 --> 00:27:21,892 Well, I need you to help me talk with her... 618 00:27:22,327 --> 00:27:24,328 and hang out with her and stuff, you know? 619 00:27:24,564 --> 00:27:26,063 Why would I help you do that? 620 00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:29,033 Are you blackmailing me? 621 00:27:29,101 --> 00:27:31,935 Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be so dramatic here, Simon. 622 00:27:32,005 --> 00:27:33,005 SIMON: Sup, Tyler? 623 00:27:33,238 --> 00:27:35,206 MARTIN: What's up, Tyler? Is that a Patagonia? 624 00:27:35,875 --> 00:27:38,410 Nice. I just like her. 625 00:27:38,712 --> 00:27:41,513 And I think that you could help me. 626 00:27:41,980 --> 00:27:43,814 Yeah, what if I say no, Martin? 627 00:27:43,884 --> 00:27:45,027 I mean, what are you gonna do? 628 00:27:45,051 --> 00:27:46,731 You gonna tell the whole school that I'm... 629 00:27:46,952 --> 00:27:48,086 You're gonna leak my emails? 630 00:27:48,154 --> 00:27:49,854 You're gonna post 'em on CreekSecrets? 631 00:27:49,922 --> 00:27:51,823 I just think that we're in a position here, 632 00:27:52,459 --> 00:27:54,193 where we could help each other out is all. 633 00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:56,359 So think about it. 634 00:27:57,329 --> 00:27:58,329 Good talk. 635 00:28:05,904 --> 00:28:07,939 You know, I never thought of a pepper 636 00:28:08,007 --> 00:28:09,150 - as being a vegetable... - (cell phone chimes) 637 00:28:09,174 --> 00:28:10,374 ...but it makes perfect sense. 638 00:28:10,575 --> 00:28:13,745 EMILY: I like the cilantro. A little Mexican flair, huh? 639 00:28:13,978 --> 00:28:15,277 JACK: Very creative, kiddo. 640 00:28:15,781 --> 00:28:17,783 You hate the peppers. Don't you? 641 00:28:18,284 --> 00:28:20,351 No. The peppers are great. 642 00:28:21,754 --> 00:28:23,054 I'm just gonna get some air. 643 00:28:33,866 --> 00:28:36,666 BRAM: Jacques, I have to get something off my chest. 644 00:28:37,002 --> 00:28:38,136 The other day, you asked me 645 00:28:38,204 --> 00:28:39,414 what I was wearing for Halloween 646 00:28:39,438 --> 00:28:42,006 and I said I wasn't dressing up. 647 00:28:42,607 --> 00:28:43,974 I lied. Truth is, 648 00:28:44,043 --> 00:28:45,620 I didn't want you to know what I was wearing 649 00:28:45,644 --> 00:28:48,145 because I don't want you to know who I am. 650 00:28:49,882 --> 00:28:50,882 Right now, these emails, 651 00:28:51,016 --> 00:28:53,117 they feel like this totally safe place. 652 00:28:53,751 --> 00:28:55,951 I'm just not ready for my whole world to change. 653 00:28:56,220 --> 00:28:57,454 I hope you understand. 654 00:28:57,723 --> 00:28:59,558 (indistinct conversation) 655 00:29:05,162 --> 00:29:07,498 SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand. 656 00:29:23,349 --> 00:29:25,250 (sniffing) 657 00:29:26,152 --> 00:29:27,728 Okay, if you want me to help you with Abby, 658 00:29:27,752 --> 00:29:28,752 you cannot eat that. 659 00:29:29,222 --> 00:29:30,422 So you're gonna help me? 660 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:31,856 Yeah. 661 00:29:32,657 --> 00:29:34,192 (chuckles) 662 00:29:34,893 --> 00:29:37,694 Simon, that is fantastic news. 663 00:29:37,962 --> 00:29:39,974 I really think that Abby and I are meant to be together. 664 00:29:39,998 --> 00:29:41,231 - Really? Do you? - Mm-hmm. 665 00:29:41,299 --> 00:29:42,579 It's not all about looks, Simon. 666 00:29:42,635 --> 00:29:45,169 Okay. So you're banking on your great, 667 00:29:45,236 --> 00:29:47,270 blackmaily personality to get the job done? 668 00:29:47,340 --> 00:29:49,308 - Where are we going? - Your place. 669 00:29:49,441 --> 00:29:50,818 We're gonna see if you have anything 670 00:29:50,842 --> 00:29:52,276 that doesn't scream, "punch me." 671 00:29:52,445 --> 00:29:54,346 Actually, I've got swim lessons. 672 00:29:54,845 --> 00:29:55,845 Cancel it! 673 00:29:56,417 --> 00:29:58,618 MARTIN: Okay, I just have to call my mom first. 674 00:29:58,684 --> 00:30:01,152 She has to approve everybody that comes in the house. 675 00:30:02,254 --> 00:30:04,189 All right. Here we go. 676 00:30:05,823 --> 00:30:08,292 All right. And here we are. 677 00:30:09,794 --> 00:30:10,904 This is where the magic happens. 678 00:30:10,928 --> 00:30:11,928 Wow. 679 00:30:12,164 --> 00:30:14,665 Ooh. Correction. (chuckles) 680 00:30:15,202 --> 00:30:17,502 This is where the magic happens. 681 00:30:19,070 --> 00:30:20,803 I've been dabbling in close-up illusions. 682 00:30:21,138 --> 00:30:22,138 Does Abby like magic? 683 00:30:22,508 --> 00:30:24,342 No. Martin, I don't think she does like magic. 684 00:30:24,411 --> 00:30:25,844 But, um, there's a really thin line 685 00:30:25,911 --> 00:30:29,145 between laughing with someone, and laughing at someone. 686 00:30:29,615 --> 00:30:30,548 And you are that line. 687 00:30:30,614 --> 00:30:32,115 So, if you want Abby to like you, 688 00:30:32,183 --> 00:30:33,462 what you have to do is you have to 689 00:30:33,486 --> 00:30:35,019 make her see you as more of a... 690 00:30:35,086 --> 00:30:36,454 As sexy Martin! 691 00:30:37,089 --> 00:30:39,357 Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy. 692 00:30:41,695 --> 00:30:43,261 You like dudes. Tell me. 693 00:30:43,563 --> 00:30:45,071 What part of me do you find the hottest? 694 00:30:45,095 --> 00:30:47,063 - No. I'm not doing this. - No. Come on. 695 00:30:47,131 --> 00:30:48,510 No, Martin. I don't want to answer that. 696 00:30:48,534 --> 00:30:49,967 Look, if you said my shoulders 697 00:30:50,101 --> 00:30:52,504 I would dress to accentuate. You know? 698 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,507 You know what? Here's your first tip. 699 00:30:54,807 --> 00:30:55,507 Ripped. 700 00:30:55,808 --> 00:30:58,810 Girls, they don't want to read your clothes. 701 00:30:59,012 --> 00:31:00,412 I think you're wrong about that one. 702 00:31:01,313 --> 00:31:02,513 How many of these do you have? 703 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,250 Please, just stop! Hey! Stop! 704 00:31:06,618 --> 00:31:09,154 Look, I don't want your help in changing me. 705 00:31:09,855 --> 00:31:13,424 I want your help in getting Abby to like me for me. 706 00:31:15,993 --> 00:31:17,194 Look. Um... 707 00:31:19,065 --> 00:31:21,900 there's a party this Saturday. At Bram's. 708 00:31:24,603 --> 00:31:26,237 Do you want to go with my friends and I? 709 00:31:26,805 --> 00:31:27,805 Yes! 710 00:31:28,108 --> 00:31:30,075 Yes! So simple. 711 00:31:30,774 --> 00:31:32,609 Must be why they call you Simple Simon. 712 00:31:32,878 --> 00:31:34,446 Nobody calls me that, Martin. 713 00:31:35,347 --> 00:31:37,749 Hey, uh, do you want to, like, sleep over? 714 00:31:38,183 --> 00:31:39,284 SIMON: Nope. 715 00:31:49,528 --> 00:31:50,594 Oh, hello. 716 00:31:51,096 --> 00:31:52,295 Hey, what's up? 717 00:31:52,432 --> 00:31:53,833 - Nice, right? - LEAH: Nick. 718 00:31:53,899 --> 00:31:54,899 Good? 719 00:31:55,033 --> 00:31:57,113 This is, like, a new level of laziness, even for you. 720 00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:59,835 What do you mean? I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. 721 00:31:59,904 --> 00:32:00,949 And you couldn't even be bothered 722 00:32:00,973 --> 00:32:02,441 to fill in the letters on the back? 723 00:32:02,874 --> 00:32:04,642 No, come on. Give me that. 724 00:32:05,577 --> 00:32:07,711 - You are a bully. - (laughs) 725 00:32:07,779 --> 00:32:11,180 (In a British accent) Hey. Don't talk about Yoko that way, man. 726 00:32:11,416 --> 00:32:13,751 Because if you do, you're out of the band. 727 00:32:14,019 --> 00:32:15,319 Who are you guys supposed to be? 728 00:32:17,121 --> 00:32:18,420 John Lennon and Yoko Ono. 729 00:32:18,891 --> 00:32:20,958 Oh! I thought she was the girl from The Ring, 730 00:32:21,092 --> 00:32:22,259 and you were Jesus. 731 00:32:22,428 --> 00:32:25,661 Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be wearing a white suit? 732 00:32:25,964 --> 00:32:27,004 I don't know. You tell me. 733 00:32:27,366 --> 00:32:29,076 You're the one who decided to dress up like fancy Jesus. 734 00:32:29,100 --> 00:32:30,333 Oh, my God. Okay. Come here. 735 00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:31,734 - Turn around. - I'm here. 736 00:32:31,803 --> 00:32:32,803 - Turn around. - Okay. 737 00:32:33,473 --> 00:32:34,373 - Okay. - Is it good? 738 00:32:34,438 --> 00:32:35,438 - Way better. - Is it? 739 00:32:35,706 --> 00:32:36,985 Yeah. Now, we need to do something about this hair. 740 00:32:37,009 --> 00:32:38,108 Maybe slick it back? 741 00:32:38,278 --> 00:32:40,212 NICK: It doesn't do that. It doesn't slick back. 742 00:32:40,846 --> 00:32:41,886 Wonder Woman in the hizzy! 743 00:32:41,946 --> 00:32:42,947 NICK: Hi! 744 00:32:43,749 --> 00:32:44,581 I made up a catchphrase, 745 00:32:44,648 --> 00:32:46,349 'cause Wonder Woman doesn't have one. 746 00:32:47,819 --> 00:32:48,819 "Hizzy" means house. 747 00:32:48,953 --> 00:32:49,985 - Yeah. - Yeah. 748 00:32:50,054 --> 00:32:51,255 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 749 00:32:51,923 --> 00:32:53,424 Oh, Abby, you look amazing. 750 00:32:53,659 --> 00:32:54,659 Thank you! 751 00:32:55,861 --> 00:32:57,295 Yeah. You look awesome. 752 00:32:58,130 --> 00:32:59,663 I'm gonna go make those frozen pizzas. 753 00:33:00,166 --> 00:33:01,064 NICK: All right. 754 00:33:01,166 --> 00:33:02,467 Yeah, I'll help. 755 00:33:04,202 --> 00:33:05,535 That's a nice costume, for real. 756 00:33:05,604 --> 00:33:08,206 Thank you. What? Cristiano Ronaldo! 757 00:33:08,273 --> 00:33:09,374 Nailed it. 758 00:33:10,109 --> 00:33:11,183 Do you remember when we went to school 759 00:33:11,207 --> 00:33:12,327 dressed as Charlie's Angels? 760 00:33:12,379 --> 00:33:13,611 Oh, my God, yes. 761 00:33:13,746 --> 00:33:15,456 And Nick's balls fell out of his booty shorts 762 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,320 when he, like, dropped down to do the gun pose? 763 00:33:18,551 --> 00:33:20,451 Mm. Do you miss trick-or-treating? 764 00:33:20,585 --> 00:33:21,852 What, you mean instead of, like, 765 00:33:21,919 --> 00:33:22,719 going to loud parties 766 00:33:22,788 --> 00:33:24,164 pretending to like the taste of beer 767 00:33:24,188 --> 00:33:25,754 and feeling too self-conscious to dance? 768 00:33:26,357 --> 00:33:27,634 I don't know why you feel self-conscious. 769 00:33:27,658 --> 00:33:30,092 I mean, you are very clearly 770 00:33:30,162 --> 00:33:31,730 the coolest person at our school. 771 00:33:33,066 --> 00:33:35,467 I'm pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way. 772 00:33:36,669 --> 00:33:37,669 But thank you. 773 00:33:40,137 --> 00:33:42,873 (doorbell ringing) 774 00:33:43,307 --> 00:33:44,409 Who's that? 775 00:33:45,177 --> 00:33:46,209 I invited Martin. 776 00:33:46,411 --> 00:33:48,012 - Martin Addison? - (groans) Why? 777 00:33:48,147 --> 00:33:49,747 Is this a Make-A-Wish situation? 778 00:33:50,015 --> 00:33:51,282 (doorbell continues ringing) 779 00:33:51,450 --> 00:33:52,550 No, he's cool. 780 00:33:54,619 --> 00:33:55,718 Hey. 781 00:33:56,854 --> 00:33:58,289 Oh, looking sharp. 782 00:33:58,791 --> 00:33:59,491 What the... 783 00:33:59,791 --> 00:34:01,892 - MARTIN: Guys. - What are you supposed to be? 784 00:34:02,194 --> 00:34:03,427 Isn't it obvious? 785 00:34:04,296 --> 00:34:06,463 Ah! I'm a Freudian slip. 786 00:34:08,533 --> 00:34:10,701 Abby. Wonder Woman. 787 00:34:15,004 --> 00:34:16,338 NICK: Just pick a song already. 788 00:34:16,740 --> 00:34:18,909 Hey, Nick, uh, can you not rush me? 789 00:34:19,044 --> 00:34:20,244 (laughing) 790 00:34:20,744 --> 00:34:22,289 ABBY: Honestly, I can't choose. There's so many. 791 00:34:22,313 --> 00:34:23,313 That's like Netflix. 792 00:34:23,449 --> 00:34:25,316 You know, trying to pick a film on Netflix. 793 00:34:25,618 --> 00:34:28,520 I'm like... (groans) "Am I in an Apatow mood, 794 00:34:28,587 --> 00:34:31,221 or am I in a Billy Wilder mood?" You know? 795 00:34:31,289 --> 00:34:33,024 Ooh, play Drake. Yes. 796 00:34:33,191 --> 00:34:36,326 Uh, no. Drake is, like, super played out at this point. 797 00:34:36,895 --> 00:34:39,198 You can't play out a rap god. Doesn't happen. 798 00:34:39,265 --> 00:34:40,265 Impossible. 799 00:34:40,296 --> 00:34:41,544 First of all, he's not a rap god. 800 00:34:41,568 --> 00:34:43,468 And second of all, I'm looking for some Beyoncé. 801 00:34:43,535 --> 00:34:45,103 - Oh. - I just can't find "Lemonade." 802 00:34:45,170 --> 00:34:47,004 Hey. Here's an interesting question. 803 00:34:47,071 --> 00:34:47,770 I love Beyoncé. 804 00:34:47,906 --> 00:34:49,115 What makes you guys feel nostalgic? 805 00:34:49,139 --> 00:34:50,139 You do? 806 00:34:50,376 --> 00:34:52,176 I mean, I think everybody kinda likes Beyoncé. 807 00:34:52,276 --> 00:34:54,211 Grape soda makes me feel very nostalgic. 808 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,847 - What are you talking about? - What makes you feel nostalgic? 809 00:34:57,382 --> 00:34:58,382 Hey, Abby. 810 00:34:58,650 --> 00:35:00,617 I bet you're gonna have the best costume tonight. 811 00:35:01,352 --> 00:35:03,354 - Thanks. - Nah, you're welcome. 812 00:35:04,191 --> 00:35:05,557 (Martin mocking) 813 00:35:07,157 --> 00:35:08,257 What the hell, Spier? 814 00:35:08,393 --> 00:35:10,860 Hey, why is Nick still flirting with Abby? 815 00:35:11,162 --> 00:35:12,206 SIMON: I don't know, Martin. 816 00:35:12,230 --> 00:35:13,832 Maybe you shouldn't have worn a dress. 817 00:35:14,599 --> 00:35:15,798 You look like a drag queen 818 00:35:15,865 --> 00:35:17,601 rolled around in magnetic poetry. 819 00:35:18,436 --> 00:35:20,102 (music playing) 820 00:35:20,171 --> 00:35:21,303 Hey, Abby! 821 00:35:21,573 --> 00:35:23,272 Whenever you need a refill of your drink, 822 00:35:23,408 --> 00:35:25,008 I'll be your designated bartender. 823 00:35:25,175 --> 00:35:26,175 So don't worry. 824 00:35:26,378 --> 00:35:28,579 Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here! 825 00:35:28,813 --> 00:35:30,045 Yo, yo, yo! 826 00:35:30,114 --> 00:35:32,549 Hey. John Lennon? 827 00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:34,217 - Yeah. You got it. - Nice. 828 00:35:34,419 --> 00:35:36,488 And, um, Nick... 829 00:35:37,588 --> 00:35:40,423 - You're Nick. - No. No. I'm Ronaldo. 830 00:35:40,491 --> 00:35:42,326 - Oh. My bad. - Obviously. 831 00:35:42,594 --> 00:35:43,674 Who are you supposed to be? 832 00:35:43,795 --> 00:35:46,930 Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency Barack Obama. 833 00:35:47,064 --> 00:35:49,565 So I'm just chillin' in Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais, 834 00:35:49,634 --> 00:35:51,302 writing memoirs and hoping 835 00:35:51,369 --> 00:35:52,802 Trump doesn't destroy my legacy. 836 00:35:52,871 --> 00:35:55,138 - (both chuckle) - That's awesome. 837 00:35:55,807 --> 00:35:57,875 Thanks. Now let's go to the bar. Come on. 838 00:35:58,276 --> 00:35:59,276 BOTH: Yeah. 839 00:35:59,409 --> 00:36:00,409 Hell yeah. 840 00:36:01,045 --> 00:36:03,347 (rapping) ♪ My name is My sign is ♪ 841 00:36:03,416 --> 00:36:04,856 - No, Garrett, no. - ♪ My number is ♪ 842 00:36:04,948 --> 00:36:07,482 ♪ You need to let it go Need to let it go ♪ 843 00:36:07,618 --> 00:36:08,752 ♪ Need to let it go ♪ 844 00:36:08,821 --> 00:36:11,220 ♪ Nah to the ah to the no, no, no... ♪ 845 00:36:11,724 --> 00:36:13,057 ♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪ 846 00:36:13,325 --> 00:36:14,957 All right, we should have a little toast. 847 00:36:15,225 --> 00:36:16,126 No, thanks. I'm driving. 848 00:36:16,228 --> 00:36:17,094 And Simon doesn't really drink. 849 00:36:17,161 --> 00:36:18,441 No, I drink. It's cool. I drink. 850 00:36:18,696 --> 00:36:20,075 - All right, that's my man. - NICK: Really? 851 00:36:20,099 --> 00:36:21,109 You wouldn't even have a glass 852 00:36:21,133 --> 00:36:22,373 of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder. 853 00:36:22,401 --> 00:36:24,868 It's Halloween, man. It's a special occasion. 854 00:36:25,469 --> 00:36:26,569 True that. 855 00:36:27,205 --> 00:36:28,205 BOTH: Cheers. 856 00:36:29,042 --> 00:36:30,042 (gagging) 857 00:36:32,376 --> 00:36:33,543 - You okay? - (coughing) 858 00:36:33,711 --> 00:36:37,346 (dance music playing) 859 00:36:37,449 --> 00:36:39,050 You're good at this. You got this. 860 00:36:42,955 --> 00:36:46,856 Abby is the hottest Wonder Woman I have ever seen. 861 00:36:47,126 --> 00:36:48,126 SIMON: Yeah. 862 00:36:48,326 --> 00:36:49,969 The shit that I would let her do to me with that lasso. 863 00:36:49,993 --> 00:36:50,893 Oh, I know, man. 864 00:36:50,962 --> 00:36:53,463 Just, like, tie me up with that thing. 865 00:36:53,665 --> 00:36:55,098 You're not into Abby, are you? 866 00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:56,366 No, no, no. 867 00:36:56,467 --> 00:36:58,802 I mean, it's not like I... She's cute... 868 00:36:58,869 --> 00:36:59,568 Yeah. 869 00:36:59,703 --> 00:37:01,143 ...but she's just not really my type. 870 00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:05,207 Not because she's black. I love black women. 871 00:37:05,543 --> 00:37:07,611 Not like, you know, I have a thing for black women, 872 00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:09,747 I just love all women. 873 00:37:12,217 --> 00:37:14,018 - Oh, oh. Oh! - Oh! 874 00:37:14,252 --> 00:37:17,654 - Oh, hey. - Hey! Oh, hey. 875 00:37:18,323 --> 00:37:20,858 Hey. Mm. 876 00:37:22,494 --> 00:37:24,761 - I'm gonna go ask her out. - What? No. 877 00:37:25,263 --> 00:37:26,296 - No? No? - No. 878 00:37:26,597 --> 00:37:28,231 - You can't ask Abby out. - Why not? 879 00:37:29,066 --> 00:37:33,135 Because. She didn't tell you about Jonathan? 880 00:37:33,405 --> 00:37:34,337 She didn't tell you about that? 881 00:37:34,406 --> 00:37:35,406 - No. - He's older. 882 00:37:35,605 --> 00:37:37,707 - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - In college. 883 00:37:38,075 --> 00:37:39,609 He's really experienced. 884 00:37:42,081 --> 00:37:43,524 You know I've only had sex once, right? 885 00:37:43,548 --> 00:37:44,548 I know that. 886 00:37:44,614 --> 00:37:45,657 You know, it's like no one tells you 887 00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:46,683 how dark everything is 888 00:37:46,951 --> 00:37:49,385 and how slippery everything gets, and, you know, 889 00:37:49,452 --> 00:37:50,530 the parts you think are the right parts 890 00:37:50,554 --> 00:37:51,914 are actually the wrong parts and... 891 00:37:53,624 --> 00:37:55,692 All right, I'm gonna go eat my feelings away. 892 00:37:57,127 --> 00:37:57,827 Man, I'm sorry... 893 00:37:58,096 --> 00:37:59,736 NICK: No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. 894 00:38:01,999 --> 00:38:02,999 Whoa, whoa. 895 00:38:07,672 --> 00:38:08,706 - BRAM: Hey, Simon! - Hey. 896 00:38:08,839 --> 00:38:10,239 Hey, you wanna play Beirut? 897 00:38:10,475 --> 00:38:11,507 Yeah. Sure. 898 00:38:11,908 --> 00:38:13,309 We just need two more people. 899 00:38:13,379 --> 00:38:15,846 How about you and me, and then, um... 900 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:17,880 I insist. 901 00:38:18,016 --> 00:38:19,017 Abby and Martin? 902 00:38:19,785 --> 00:38:20,962 - BRAM: Okay, cool. - SIMON: Hey, Martin. 903 00:38:20,986 --> 00:38:22,185 - MARTIN: Yeah. - SIMON: Abby. 904 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:23,520 Let's play Beirut. 905 00:38:23,555 --> 00:38:24,995 - No, I don't... - Yeah. Let's do it. 906 00:38:25,090 --> 00:38:27,658 Come on, let's go. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 907 00:38:27,826 --> 00:38:29,959 Good old competition. (chuckles) 908 00:38:30,426 --> 00:38:31,928 - Ready? - Yeah, I'm ready. 909 00:38:33,165 --> 00:38:34,564 Beirut. Right? 910 00:38:34,632 --> 00:38:35,632 - Yes! - (sighs) 911 00:38:35,766 --> 00:38:37,467 Okay. Have you ever played Beirut before? 912 00:38:37,802 --> 00:38:39,135 Uh, totally. Yeah. 913 00:38:39,703 --> 00:38:42,839 Great. All right, so, two reracks, no blowing 914 00:38:42,908 --> 00:38:43,918 and two balls in the cup means 915 00:38:43,942 --> 00:38:45,252 that you have to take three, okay? 916 00:38:45,276 --> 00:38:46,309 Okay. Cool. 917 00:38:46,778 --> 00:38:48,698 I thought we were talking about a different game. 918 00:38:49,113 --> 00:38:50,291 We'll just explain as we go. Okay? 919 00:38:50,315 --> 00:38:51,315 - Yeah. - Okay. Got it. 920 00:38:51,415 --> 00:38:52,415 SIMON: Ready? 921 00:38:52,451 --> 00:38:54,785 - Maybe you should take these... - Oh. 922 00:38:55,753 --> 00:38:58,220 - You'll see better. Right? - Good idea. Yeah. 923 00:38:59,257 --> 00:39:00,657 - All you. - Raindrop! 924 00:39:00,726 --> 00:39:02,606 MARTIN: Here we go, all right. You got this one. 925 00:39:02,726 --> 00:39:04,225 Oh, is that... This is mine to drink? 926 00:39:06,897 --> 00:39:07,897 God. 927 00:39:09,033 --> 00:39:10,033 Oh! 928 00:39:11,635 --> 00:39:12,536 All right. 929 00:39:12,603 --> 00:39:14,270 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 930 00:39:15,439 --> 00:39:16,439 (imitates explosion) 931 00:39:16,473 --> 00:39:18,106 Do we need a handshake? Is that... 932 00:39:18,410 --> 00:39:19,410 You get one of these in 933 00:39:19,443 --> 00:39:20,978 and we can totally have a handshake. 934 00:39:21,646 --> 00:39:22,979 Fly it away. Fly it away. 935 00:39:24,348 --> 00:39:26,082 Chug, chug, chug. 936 00:39:26,417 --> 00:39:27,537 - MARTIN: Sweet! - All right. 937 00:39:27,685 --> 00:39:28,785 (belches) 938 00:39:29,820 --> 00:39:31,187 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 939 00:39:31,356 --> 00:39:34,724 ♪ We could be starving We could be homeless ♪ 940 00:39:34,792 --> 00:39:36,092 ♪ We could be loved ♪ 941 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:37,761 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 942 00:39:38,330 --> 00:39:40,664 (all cheering) 943 00:39:43,001 --> 00:39:45,534 ♪ Why can't I get Just one screw ♪ 944 00:39:45,603 --> 00:39:47,904 ♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪ 945 00:39:47,971 --> 00:39:51,005 ♪ But something won't let me Make love to you ♪ 946 00:39:51,309 --> 00:39:55,311 ♪ Day after day ♪ 947 00:39:55,579 --> 00:40:00,281 ♪ I get angry and I will say ♪ 948 00:40:04,990 --> 00:40:08,960 Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques. 949 00:40:11,462 --> 00:40:13,698 Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques. 950 00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:20,236 Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques. 951 00:40:21,772 --> 00:40:23,874 (sighs) Why did I pick Jacques? 952 00:40:25,276 --> 00:40:26,376 BOY: Yeah, no problem. 953 00:40:26,477 --> 00:40:27,744 (girls laughing) 954 00:40:28,347 --> 00:40:33,449 ("Monster Mash" playing) 955 00:40:41,893 --> 00:40:42,893 Oh. 956 00:40:43,661 --> 00:40:45,761 I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom. 957 00:40:47,999 --> 00:40:48,999 Sorry. 958 00:40:55,406 --> 00:40:57,841 - I'm starting to get so tired! - I am so tired. 959 00:41:01,110 --> 00:41:02,945 Hey, Martin, not now, man. All right? 960 00:41:03,014 --> 00:41:04,114 I've had a big night. 961 00:41:06,317 --> 00:41:07,317 Oh! 962 00:41:07,384 --> 00:41:09,952 Really? Really? 963 00:41:11,189 --> 00:41:12,855 (groans) I'm sorry. 964 00:41:12,923 --> 00:41:14,790 - Come on! - (Martin coughing) 965 00:41:17,596 --> 00:41:19,276 - LEAH: What are you doing? - I don't know. 966 00:41:20,497 --> 00:41:21,497 (Leah sighs) 967 00:41:22,234 --> 00:41:23,634 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 968 00:41:23,702 --> 00:41:26,302 - Are you serious? - ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 969 00:41:26,704 --> 00:41:30,073 ♪ Welcome... ♪ Whoa. Careful. 970 00:41:30,308 --> 00:41:32,176 Okay, come on. We gotta get you home. 971 00:41:36,081 --> 00:41:38,449 - Look, we're so close! - Oh, my God! 972 00:41:38,516 --> 00:41:39,516 Wait, what? 973 00:41:39,649 --> 00:41:42,084 - Dude, my parents are still up. - Oh, God. 974 00:41:42,152 --> 00:41:44,086 - Oh... - Okay, you know what... Come on. 975 00:41:45,021 --> 00:41:46,956 I need you to think of something really sad... 976 00:41:47,023 --> 00:41:47,723 Uh-huh. 977 00:41:48,025 --> 00:41:49,858 Like, the documentary about how all the whales 978 00:41:49,926 --> 00:41:51,027 hate living at SeaWorld. 979 00:41:51,094 --> 00:41:51,795 Too sad! 980 00:41:51,962 --> 00:41:53,072 God. Okay, then just, you know what, 981 00:41:53,096 --> 00:41:54,216 don't say anything at all... 982 00:41:54,298 --> 00:41:56,599 And we'll ditch the barf shirt till tomorrow. 983 00:41:56,668 --> 00:41:57,769 SIMON: Okay. 984 00:41:58,869 --> 00:41:59,869 - LEAH: Si? - SIMON: Yeah. 985 00:42:00,071 --> 00:42:01,871 LEAH: Just as little as possible, 986 00:42:01,940 --> 00:42:03,174 say as little as possible. 987 00:42:04,242 --> 00:42:07,209 (door creaks) 988 00:42:11,882 --> 00:42:13,282 EMILY: So how does that work? 989 00:42:13,351 --> 00:42:15,385 I know, I remember when I went to... 990 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:16,921 Hey, guys! 991 00:42:17,656 --> 00:42:19,422 - Hey! - Hey! 992 00:42:19,655 --> 00:42:20,789 - Come talk to us. - Hey! 993 00:42:20,923 --> 00:42:22,992 - How was the party? - It was really fun. 994 00:42:23,226 --> 00:42:24,226 - Was it? - Yeah. 995 00:42:24,528 --> 00:42:25,528 Aces. 996 00:42:26,531 --> 00:42:28,900 BOTH: Huh. (chuckling) 997 00:42:29,999 --> 00:42:32,267 Uh, well. Thanks for letting me stay over. 998 00:42:32,336 --> 00:42:33,936 - JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. - EMILY: Yeah. 999 00:42:34,203 --> 00:42:35,538 You've been staying over 10 years. 1000 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:37,774 You don't have to thank us. 1001 00:42:37,841 --> 00:42:39,941 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 1002 00:42:40,610 --> 00:42:42,044 (whispers) Stop. Shh! 1003 00:42:46,083 --> 00:42:47,460 John Lennon was wearing a woman's sweater. 1004 00:42:47,484 --> 00:42:48,851 - Mm. - And he's drunk. 1005 00:42:49,253 --> 00:42:50,863 - Definitely. - So how do we feel about that? 1006 00:42:50,887 --> 00:42:52,622 Well, he didn't drive drunk, 1007 00:42:52,689 --> 00:42:54,322 and he's home before curfew, so... 1008 00:42:54,958 --> 00:42:57,060 Good. That's what I thought we thought. 1009 00:42:57,127 --> 00:42:58,993 Yeah, that's what we think, right? 1010 00:42:59,064 --> 00:43:00,640 - Yeah. We're good parents. - Yeah, we're good parents. 1011 00:43:00,664 --> 00:43:01,664 Right? 1012 00:43:02,466 --> 00:43:04,366 (slow music playing) 1013 00:43:06,570 --> 00:43:07,871 The room stopped spinning. 1014 00:43:19,015 --> 00:43:20,282 Do you ever feel weird? 1015 00:43:22,286 --> 00:43:24,320 - Weird? - Yeah. 1016 00:43:27,492 --> 00:43:29,926 Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside. 1017 00:43:33,897 --> 00:43:34,996 What do you mean? 1018 00:43:35,532 --> 00:43:37,235 Like tonight, you know... 1019 00:43:37,803 --> 00:43:39,768 I was at that party, and it was fun, but... 1020 00:43:40,337 --> 00:43:43,106 it kinda felt like I was watching it 1021 00:43:43,172 --> 00:43:44,305 from across the room. 1022 00:43:47,010 --> 00:43:48,611 I don't know, there's this invisible line 1023 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:49,680 that I have to cross 1024 00:43:49,712 --> 00:43:50,756 to really be a part of everything 1025 00:43:50,780 --> 00:43:52,449 and I just, I can't ever cross it. 1026 00:43:55,051 --> 00:43:56,886 I feel that way sometimes, too. 1027 00:43:57,856 --> 00:43:58,856 Not tonight you didn't. 1028 00:43:59,088 --> 00:44:00,657 Yeah, I was trying something. 1029 00:44:02,126 --> 00:44:03,771 Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier 1030 00:44:03,795 --> 00:44:06,395 to be one of these people who can just take a few shots 1031 00:44:06,464 --> 00:44:08,431 and then hook up with whoever's closest. 1032 00:44:10,601 --> 00:44:12,169 Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky. 1033 00:44:12,369 --> 00:44:13,369 Unlucky? 1034 00:44:15,105 --> 00:44:16,105 Why? 1035 00:44:17,074 --> 00:44:19,276 Because I'm not a casual person. 1036 00:44:20,744 --> 00:44:22,947 What kind of person are you? 1037 00:44:27,884 --> 00:44:29,027 I think I'm the kind of person 1038 00:44:29,051 --> 00:44:31,053 who is destined to care so much 1039 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,122 about one person, it nearly kills me. 1040 00:44:38,529 --> 00:44:39,529 Me too. 1041 00:44:47,438 --> 00:44:48,438 It's getting late. 1042 00:45:04,555 --> 00:45:05,555 Si? 1043 00:45:06,523 --> 00:45:07,523 Yeah? 1044 00:45:07,626 --> 00:45:08,626 Good night. 1045 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:11,560 Good night. 1046 00:45:15,064 --> 00:45:18,967 (slow music continues playing) 1047 00:45:33,483 --> 00:45:34,483 SIMON: Dear Blue, 1048 00:45:35,118 --> 00:45:36,920 so one of my friends likes the other, 1049 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,588 and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. 1050 00:45:41,358 --> 00:45:42,725 Anyway, I've been thinking about 1051 00:45:42,793 --> 00:45:44,194 why I haven't come out yet. 1052 00:45:45,029 --> 00:45:46,562 Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair 1053 00:45:46,629 --> 00:45:48,698 that only gay people have to come out. 1054 00:45:48,765 --> 00:45:50,199 Why is straight the default? 1055 00:45:51,101 --> 00:45:52,501 I have something I need to tell you. 1056 00:45:52,671 --> 00:45:55,371 Mom, there's something I have to tell you. 1057 00:45:55,573 --> 00:45:56,473 Can we talk? 1058 00:45:56,540 --> 00:45:57,540 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 1059 00:45:58,076 --> 00:45:58,974 I'm straight. 1060 00:45:59,041 --> 00:46:00,041 I'm straight. 1061 00:46:00,142 --> 00:46:01,778 I'm sorry, Mom, it's true. 1062 00:46:02,579 --> 00:46:03,478 I like girls. 1063 00:46:03,546 --> 00:46:04,546 (coughing) 1064 00:46:05,949 --> 00:46:06,949 I like men. 1065 00:46:06,984 --> 00:46:08,384 You get that from your daddy's side. 1066 00:46:09,151 --> 00:46:10,686 I'm in love with Nick. 1067 00:46:12,955 --> 00:46:14,655 I feel like I've been raising a stranger. 1068 00:46:14,726 --> 00:46:16,460 Yes, absolutely, you have. 1069 00:46:16,726 --> 00:46:17,759 I'm heterosexual. 1070 00:46:17,896 --> 00:46:20,630 Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please. 1071 00:46:20,796 --> 00:46:22,563 SIMON: Or maybe it's because I can't be sure 1072 00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:24,432 this whole "being gay" thing is forever. 1073 00:46:24,501 --> 00:46:26,135 Or maybe it's that there's not that much 1074 00:46:26,202 --> 00:46:27,202 of high school left 1075 00:46:27,271 --> 00:46:28,481 and part of me wants to hold on to 1076 00:46:28,505 --> 00:46:30,805 who I've always been just a little longer. 1077 00:46:31,241 --> 00:46:33,209 And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, 1078 00:46:33,343 --> 00:46:35,110 I'll be gay and proud, I promise. 1079 00:46:35,211 --> 00:46:37,246 ("I wanna dance with somebody" playing) 1080 00:46:42,687 --> 00:46:43,687 ♪ Woo! ♪ 1081 00:46:46,956 --> 00:46:49,424 ♪ Ooh, yeah, uh-huh ♪ 1082 00:46:51,429 --> 00:46:52,429 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1083 00:46:54,698 --> 00:46:55,698 ♪ I want to dance ♪ 1084 00:46:55,731 --> 00:46:59,233 ♪ Oh! I wanna dance With somebody ♪ 1085 00:47:00,137 --> 00:47:03,273 ♪ I wanna feel the heat With somebody ♪ 1086 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:07,277 ♪ Yeah! I wanna dance with somebody ♪ 1087 00:47:08,513 --> 00:47:11,313 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1088 00:47:11,380 --> 00:47:13,248 ♪ Don't you wanna dance Say you wanna dance ♪ 1089 00:47:13,317 --> 00:47:14,551 ♪ Don't you wanna dance ♪ 1090 00:47:17,122 --> 00:47:20,590 ♪ With somebody who loves me ♪ 1091 00:47:20,923 --> 00:47:22,358 ♪ Oh ♪ 1092 00:47:25,027 --> 00:47:27,228 ♪ Oh oh ♪ 1093 00:47:29,099 --> 00:47:30,232 Yeah, maybe not that gay. 1094 00:47:30,499 --> 00:47:31,979 SIMON: I'm not sure who I'm promising. 1095 00:47:32,401 --> 00:47:33,669 I'll keep ruminating. 1096 00:47:34,103 --> 00:47:35,204 Love, Jacques. 1097 00:47:43,714 --> 00:47:45,148 Shit! 1098 00:47:49,553 --> 00:47:51,364 TAYLOR: So, yeah, after swimming with dolphins, 1099 00:47:51,388 --> 00:47:53,489 we fly to Saint Martin for New Year's. 1100 00:47:54,190 --> 00:47:56,192 Anybody else, Christmas in the Caribbean? 1101 00:47:56,826 --> 00:47:57,526 Staying here. 1102 00:47:57,628 --> 00:47:59,527 We have a classic Spier tradition 1103 00:47:59,595 --> 00:48:01,395 of French toast on Christmas Eve. 1104 00:48:01,598 --> 00:48:03,399 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1105 00:48:03,468 --> 00:48:04,468 in the middle of nowhere. 1106 00:48:04,635 --> 00:48:06,836 As is our bleak family tradition. 1107 00:48:07,204 --> 00:48:09,838 (winces) Ow! Ow! 1108 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:11,939 Oh, man. Oh. 1109 00:48:12,009 --> 00:48:12,909 You okay? 1110 00:48:12,977 --> 00:48:14,477 Oh, yeah, that's a paper cut. 1111 00:48:15,179 --> 00:48:16,179 Overdramatic. 1112 00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,081 Um, Simon, do you know where the bandages are? 1113 00:48:20,549 --> 00:48:22,950 Yeah. They're just in the supply closet. 1114 00:48:23,353 --> 00:48:24,553 Okay, do you mind showing me? 1115 00:48:27,758 --> 00:48:28,758 Be right back. 1116 00:48:29,860 --> 00:48:31,327 He's like a nurse, this man. 1117 00:48:32,797 --> 00:48:34,597 Okay, I don't actually have a paper cut. 1118 00:48:34,698 --> 00:48:36,799 I know that, Martin. You're a very bad actor. 1119 00:48:36,867 --> 00:48:38,634 What, you think this is funny? 1120 00:48:40,270 --> 00:48:42,371 Simon, look, I don't wanna have to 1121 00:48:42,438 --> 00:48:44,271 leak your emails, all right? But I will. 1122 00:48:44,439 --> 00:48:47,208 Look, you cannot bring Blue into this, okay? 1123 00:48:47,276 --> 00:48:48,556 If he found out that my emails got leaked, 1124 00:48:48,580 --> 00:48:50,313 he'd get totally freaked, all right? 1125 00:48:50,380 --> 00:48:51,280 He'd never talk to me again. 1126 00:48:51,349 --> 00:48:52,916 Yeah, probably not, you know? 1127 00:48:53,182 --> 00:48:54,982 The Internet's a freaky place to meet people. 1128 00:48:55,085 --> 00:48:56,553 - Yo. - Hey! 1129 00:48:56,620 --> 00:48:57,319 Hey! 1130 00:48:57,488 --> 00:48:58,798 - Fun movie! Freak. - Freaky Friday. 1131 00:48:58,822 --> 00:49:00,823 - That's a fun movie! - Freaky, freak, freaky. 1132 00:49:00,889 --> 00:49:03,324 - Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch! - ♪ She's a super freak ♪ 1133 00:49:03,459 --> 00:49:05,219 - BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪ - You guys are weird. 1134 00:49:05,428 --> 00:49:07,896 I need a Band-Aid. Those programs are a bitch. 1135 00:49:09,898 --> 00:49:12,399 Erm, yo. Martin was having trouble running his lines 1136 00:49:12,468 --> 00:49:13,868 and we were thinking we could go 1137 00:49:13,938 --> 00:49:16,440 to Waffle House and go over 'em. 1138 00:49:17,609 --> 00:49:18,375 - Really? - Yeah. 1139 00:49:18,442 --> 00:49:19,541 That would be great. 1140 00:49:20,075 --> 00:49:21,309 I'm insky. 1141 00:49:23,381 --> 00:49:25,782 - Good work, Spier. - Go to hell, Martin. 1142 00:49:30,921 --> 00:49:31,921 (cell phone chimes) 1143 00:49:34,858 --> 00:49:37,026 BLUE: Jacques, if I were a betting man, 1144 00:49:37,161 --> 00:49:38,470 I'd say you were drunk emailing me 1145 00:49:38,494 --> 00:49:39,494 during that last letter. 1146 00:49:39,596 --> 00:49:41,330 Don't worry. I liked it. 1147 00:49:41,732 --> 00:49:43,533 As for coming out, I know what you mean 1148 00:49:43,599 --> 00:49:44,959 about wanting to wait till college. 1149 00:49:45,068 --> 00:49:46,736 But our emails have inspired me. 1150 00:49:47,304 --> 00:49:49,871 I'm going to tell my family. So thanks, Jacques. 1151 00:49:50,375 --> 00:49:52,276 Love, Blue. 1152 00:50:05,287 --> 00:50:06,753 (indistinct chatter) 1153 00:50:06,957 --> 00:50:07,957 Yeah. 1154 00:50:10,326 --> 00:50:11,426 MARTIN: Hey! 1155 00:50:11,828 --> 00:50:14,263 - Madame. - ABBY: Oh. 1156 00:50:16,033 --> 00:50:17,567 (chuckles) Simon... 1157 00:50:18,601 --> 00:50:20,602 How the thespians rehearse, right? 1158 00:50:20,670 --> 00:50:21,703 LYLE: Hey, guys. 1159 00:50:22,271 --> 00:50:23,271 What can I get you? 1160 00:50:23,538 --> 00:50:26,174 Lyle! You guys know Lyle? We have Latin together. 1161 00:50:26,343 --> 00:50:27,609 ABBY: I don't think so. 1162 00:50:27,944 --> 00:50:28,810 Hi. How's it going? 1163 00:50:28,876 --> 00:50:31,579 Actually, we had Bio together last year? 1164 00:50:31,713 --> 00:50:33,313 - SIMON: Oh, really? - It's Simon, right? 1165 00:50:33,450 --> 00:50:36,285 Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I don't, um... 1166 00:50:36,353 --> 00:50:38,154 It's okay. It was like a big class, 1167 00:50:38,221 --> 00:50:39,688 and I have a good memory for faces. 1168 00:50:41,057 --> 00:50:42,256 What can I get you guys? 1169 00:50:42,392 --> 00:50:44,426 MARTIN: Well, we plan on being here for a while. 1170 00:50:44,661 --> 00:50:47,363 So, we're gonna start off small and go larger. 1171 00:50:47,897 --> 00:50:51,231 Probably get some bacon first, some sausage. I'd say... 1172 00:50:52,001 --> 00:50:55,070 ABBY: "You're right. I'm much too strange and extraordinary. 1173 00:50:55,337 --> 00:50:57,938 Much! And much too distracting!" 1174 00:50:58,275 --> 00:50:59,275 Wow. 1175 00:50:59,943 --> 00:51:01,823 And you never did any acting at your old school? 1176 00:51:02,946 --> 00:51:04,712 No. Can we get back to... 1177 00:51:04,779 --> 00:51:06,446 And yet, you're from D.C., right? 1178 00:51:06,516 --> 00:51:08,061 Yeah. Can you give me my next cue, though? 1179 00:51:08,085 --> 00:51:09,817 MARTIN: So why did you move here? 1180 00:51:10,553 --> 00:51:12,321 Because my parents got divorced 1181 00:51:12,390 --> 00:51:14,350 and my aunt found us an apartment in her building. 1182 00:51:14,389 --> 00:51:15,423 Why'd they get divorced? 1183 00:51:15,724 --> 00:51:16,735 Why does it matter, Martin? 1184 00:51:16,759 --> 00:51:18,037 Are you writing a book about girls 1185 00:51:18,061 --> 00:51:19,361 from a broken home in D.C.? 1186 00:51:20,930 --> 00:51:21,930 So? 1187 00:51:23,332 --> 00:51:25,099 I thought that my dad 1188 00:51:25,168 --> 00:51:28,036 was the greatest person on the planet. 1189 00:51:29,506 --> 00:51:33,341 But it turns out that he's just a sad, tired loser 1190 00:51:33,409 --> 00:51:35,910 who hates his job, drinks way too much beer, 1191 00:51:36,111 --> 00:51:37,245 and cheats on his wife. 1192 00:51:37,646 --> 00:51:40,180 To make up for all the stuff that I just mentioned, so... 1193 00:51:40,350 --> 00:51:41,817 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 1194 00:51:42,618 --> 00:51:43,618 Yeah. 1195 00:51:43,685 --> 00:51:45,565 You deserve the father that you thought you had. 1196 00:51:48,225 --> 00:51:49,759 You know what, Abby? 1197 00:51:51,427 --> 00:51:53,261 You deserve a goddamn superhero. 1198 00:51:53,964 --> 00:51:56,565 Okay, thank you. Let's get back to the... 1199 00:51:56,798 --> 00:51:57,798 Say it. 1200 00:51:59,134 --> 00:52:00,134 What? 1201 00:52:00,838 --> 00:52:02,004 I wanna hear you say 1202 00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:06,107 "I, Abby Susso, am an incredible young woman 1203 00:52:06,776 --> 00:52:09,477 and deserve a goddamn superhero." 1204 00:52:09,811 --> 00:52:11,880 I'm not gonna say that, Martin. 1205 00:52:12,882 --> 00:52:14,216 Okay. Well, um... 1206 00:52:14,785 --> 00:52:16,585 I won't stop until you say it. 1207 00:52:17,319 --> 00:52:18,419 ABBY: Okay. 1208 00:52:19,454 --> 00:52:20,988 - What are you... - Excuse me. 1209 00:52:21,090 --> 00:52:22,968 - Waffle House patrons! - ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop. 1210 00:52:22,992 --> 00:52:24,369 - Pardon the interruption. - BOTH: Martin. 1211 00:52:24,393 --> 00:52:26,962 I would just like to say that Abby Susso here 1212 00:52:27,197 --> 00:52:28,396 is an incredible young woman. 1213 00:52:28,465 --> 00:52:29,530 Martin, please. 1214 00:52:29,599 --> 00:52:31,667 And deserves a goddamn superhero. 1215 00:52:31,767 --> 00:52:34,134 - Okay, okay... - That's right. Abby Susso! 1216 00:52:34,570 --> 00:52:36,172 Abby Susso is an incredible young woman! 1217 00:52:36,237 --> 00:52:37,237 ABBY: I'm Abby Susso! 1218 00:52:37,808 --> 00:52:40,074 Incredible young woman, and deserves... 1219 00:52:40,542 --> 00:52:41,986 - A goddamn superhero. - A goddamn superhero. 1220 00:52:42,010 --> 00:52:43,944 - A goddamn superhero! - A goddamn superhero! 1221 00:52:44,246 --> 00:52:45,714 A goddamn superhero! 1222 00:52:52,254 --> 00:52:53,254 Yeah. 1223 00:52:54,090 --> 00:52:55,423 All right. (claps) 1224 00:52:56,159 --> 00:52:57,758 Breakthrough. Yeah. 1225 00:52:58,594 --> 00:53:01,096 Okay, you can all go back to your meals. Thank you. 1226 00:53:01,163 --> 00:53:02,765 Please sit down. Please. 1227 00:53:03,865 --> 00:53:06,034 - (Martin clears throat) - (Abby sighs) 1228 00:53:06,302 --> 00:53:07,302 Well... 1229 00:53:07,771 --> 00:53:10,505 Well, let's get back to... 1230 00:53:11,074 --> 00:53:13,114 - my entrance into your song. - I'm gonna take five. 1231 00:53:14,077 --> 00:53:16,212 MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub proudly presents... 1232 00:53:16,414 --> 00:53:17,414 I'll be right back. 1233 00:53:17,713 --> 00:53:18,712 ...a beautiful woman coming straight from England." 1234 00:53:18,714 --> 00:53:21,016 Sally Bowles, everybody." 1235 00:53:32,295 --> 00:53:33,295 Hey. 1236 00:53:34,796 --> 00:53:37,831 Were you in Bio when they did that identifying leaves test? 1237 00:53:38,067 --> 00:53:40,568 Yes. And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy. 1238 00:53:40,871 --> 00:53:42,471 Because Doug Fogerty told him it was pot. 1239 00:53:42,673 --> 00:53:44,240 - Right. (laughs) - SIMON: Poor Joel. 1240 00:53:44,806 --> 00:53:46,607 I think he just wants to be liked 'cause... 1241 00:53:47,377 --> 00:53:50,410 you ever notice that he has extra pens in his backpack? 1242 00:53:50,479 --> 00:53:53,380 Like, you know, he's just waiting for the day 1243 00:53:53,449 --> 00:53:55,350 that someone comes up to ask him for a pen? 1244 00:53:55,886 --> 00:53:59,153 And then he can be that guy to give 'em a pen. 1245 00:54:00,423 --> 00:54:01,863 You see everything, don't you, Simon? 1246 00:54:02,258 --> 00:54:03,524 I don't know. 1247 00:54:04,393 --> 00:54:05,894 But Simon means "the one who hears" 1248 00:54:05,996 --> 00:54:08,264 and Spier means "the one who sees" 1249 00:54:08,330 --> 00:54:10,499 so you put that all together 1250 00:54:10,566 --> 00:54:13,533 and pretty sure that means I was just destined 1251 00:54:13,601 --> 00:54:15,002 to be up in everybody's business. 1252 00:54:17,773 --> 00:54:18,813 I've gotta get back inside 1253 00:54:18,841 --> 00:54:20,642 and scrub down some waffle irons. 1254 00:54:21,176 --> 00:54:23,078 - Duty calls. - Indeed. 1255 00:54:24,213 --> 00:54:25,213 I'll see you in there. 1256 00:54:26,014 --> 00:54:27,014 Yeah, I'll see ya. 1257 00:54:33,990 --> 00:54:34,990 (cell phone chimes) 1258 00:54:42,966 --> 00:54:43,966 Hi. 1259 00:54:44,635 --> 00:54:47,303 BLUE: So my dad's flying in tonight for Hanukkah. 1260 00:54:47,637 --> 00:54:48,637 If you are thinking, 1261 00:54:48,837 --> 00:54:50,181 "But Hanukkah isn't for another month!" 1262 00:54:50,205 --> 00:54:51,572 Well, you are correct. 1263 00:54:51,942 --> 00:54:54,142 Welcome to navigating divorced parents. 1264 00:54:54,843 --> 00:54:56,283 Take holidays where you can get them. 1265 00:54:56,379 --> 00:54:59,481 And my dad's staying at the same crappy motel as always. 1266 00:54:59,549 --> 00:55:01,749 We'll do all our horribly awkward traditions. 1267 00:55:02,652 --> 00:55:04,986 We'll light the menorah and I'll silently pray 1268 00:55:05,055 --> 00:55:06,923 that the sprinklers don't go off. 1269 00:55:07,223 --> 00:55:08,757 That's happened twice before. 1270 00:55:10,226 --> 00:55:12,594 Would you believe I'm considering doubling down 1271 00:55:12,762 --> 00:55:14,105 and turning this whole awkward mess 1272 00:55:14,129 --> 00:55:15,830 into a coming out thing? 1273 00:55:16,799 --> 00:55:18,066 Do you think I'm crazy? 1274 00:55:19,034 --> 00:55:20,769 SIMON: No, Blue, I don't think you're crazy. 1275 00:55:21,204 --> 00:55:23,072 I think you're crazy brave. 1276 00:55:37,321 --> 00:55:39,988 ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to annoy the crap out of me. 1277 00:55:40,055 --> 00:55:42,324 But he's actually kind of a cool person. 1278 00:55:44,728 --> 00:55:46,695 I've been meaning to ask you about your parents. 1279 00:55:47,395 --> 00:55:48,672 I just didn't wanna say anything 1280 00:55:48,696 --> 00:55:49,841 when we were actually in the restaurant. 1281 00:55:49,865 --> 00:55:51,732 I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. 1282 00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:54,367 Yeah. No, I don't mention it a lot 1283 00:55:54,704 --> 00:55:57,139 because it kind of messes with my image. 1284 00:55:58,141 --> 00:55:59,274 What kind of image? 1285 00:56:01,142 --> 00:56:03,110 The girl who is excited 1286 00:56:03,179 --> 00:56:05,314 to start a new school senior year. 1287 00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,381 Girl whose life didn't just end, 1288 00:56:08,450 --> 00:56:09,551 like, three months ago, 1289 00:56:09,618 --> 00:56:12,020 who's angry and sad all the time. 1290 00:56:14,624 --> 00:56:16,092 Girl who still believes in love. 1291 00:56:16,992 --> 00:56:19,960 Come on. You still believe in love. 1292 00:56:21,096 --> 00:56:22,096 Maybe. 1293 00:56:22,598 --> 00:56:23,965 Have you ever been in love? 1294 00:56:27,736 --> 00:56:28,837 I think so. 1295 00:56:43,517 --> 00:56:44,517 Abby. 1296 00:56:45,622 --> 00:56:46,721 Yeah? 1297 00:56:50,126 --> 00:56:51,126 I'm gay. 1298 00:56:52,996 --> 00:56:53,996 Oh. 1299 00:56:56,698 --> 00:56:58,132 You can't tell anyone though. 1300 00:56:59,336 --> 00:57:00,168 Nobody really knows, 1301 00:57:00,302 --> 00:57:02,336 and I don't really want people to find out. 1302 00:57:02,405 --> 00:57:03,938 I won't. I promise. 1303 00:57:04,274 --> 00:57:05,274 Okay. 1304 00:57:10,512 --> 00:57:11,512 You surprised? 1305 00:57:13,084 --> 00:57:14,084 No. 1306 00:57:15,351 --> 00:57:16,986 - So you knew? - No. 1307 00:57:18,488 --> 00:57:19,754 But you're not surprised? 1308 00:57:20,789 --> 00:57:22,189 Do you want me to be surprised? 1309 00:57:23,759 --> 00:57:24,858 I don't know. 1310 00:57:26,195 --> 00:57:27,195 Okay. 1311 00:57:27,896 --> 00:57:29,064 Well, I love you. 1312 00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:31,531 So... 1313 00:57:40,745 --> 00:57:41,845 Love you, too. 1314 00:57:48,583 --> 00:57:49,583 (sighs in relief) 1315 00:57:49,852 --> 00:57:53,220 - (turn signal beeping) - There's no one behind us. 1316 00:57:53,289 --> 00:57:54,600 You don't have to put your blinker on. 1317 00:57:54,624 --> 00:57:55,991 - Okay, just being safe. - Yeah. 1318 00:58:10,038 --> 00:58:12,907 SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope it goes okay with your dad. 1319 00:58:13,207 --> 00:58:15,709 Whatever happens, you inspired me. 1320 00:58:16,077 --> 00:58:17,878 I came out to my friend tonight. 1321 00:58:17,981 --> 00:58:19,880 And I never would have done that without you. 1322 00:58:20,016 --> 00:58:21,916 Maybe we should ride this bravery train 1323 00:58:22,018 --> 00:58:23,518 and reveal our identities. 1324 00:58:24,020 --> 00:58:26,522 I'm dying to know who you are. Love, Jacques. 1325 00:58:32,996 --> 00:58:34,261 (cell phone vibrating) 1326 00:58:37,433 --> 00:58:39,400 BLUE: I told my dad. 1327 00:58:40,269 --> 00:58:43,971 It was insanely awkward. But also, kind of fine. 1328 00:58:44,873 --> 00:58:46,507 And you got it backwards. 1329 00:58:46,975 --> 00:58:48,842 It's you who inspires me. 1330 00:58:50,680 --> 00:58:51,879 But I'm sorry, 1331 00:58:52,481 --> 00:58:55,148 I'm just not ready for us to know each other's identities. 1332 00:58:55,317 --> 00:58:56,451 Love, Blue. 1333 00:58:58,819 --> 00:59:00,888 (hums the Jaws theme) 1334 00:59:00,957 --> 00:59:03,624 - Hey! What are you doing? - (growls) I'm a fry shark! 1335 00:59:03,824 --> 00:59:05,326 - Yeah! - (laughs) 1336 00:59:07,362 --> 00:59:09,440 - MARTIN: That is good. - ABBY: You're a good fry shark. 1337 00:59:09,464 --> 00:59:10,908 - MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. - ABBY: I like that. 1338 00:59:10,932 --> 00:59:12,176 I didn't even know you were coming near. 1339 00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:13,376 MARTIN: You know what day it is? 1340 00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:14,845 - ABBY: What day is it? - MARTIN: Must be Friday! 1341 00:59:14,869 --> 00:59:15,869 BOTH: Oh! 1342 00:59:16,206 --> 00:59:17,873 I guess I'm being loved, right? Right? 1343 00:59:18,073 --> 00:59:19,073 Yeah. 1344 00:59:19,408 --> 00:59:21,408 Hey, what do you get when you get black and Jewish? 1345 00:59:21,477 --> 00:59:22,477 - What? - Bluish. 1346 00:59:22,944 --> 00:59:24,045 ABBY: That's mean. 1347 00:59:24,112 --> 00:59:25,112 Simon? 1348 00:59:25,179 --> 00:59:27,815 Since when does Abby find Martin so goddamn funny? 1349 00:59:28,582 --> 00:59:29,582 Yeah, it's crazy. 1350 00:59:29,886 --> 00:59:31,119 NICK: You know, this is stupid. 1351 00:59:31,252 --> 00:59:32,919 I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. 1352 00:59:32,986 --> 00:59:33,887 And I've been thinking 1353 00:59:33,988 --> 00:59:35,064 the whole sexual experience thing, 1354 00:59:35,088 --> 00:59:36,224 it's not that big of a deal. 1355 00:59:36,325 --> 00:59:37,769 And, actually, I've been practicing, right? 1356 00:59:37,793 --> 00:59:38,826 I got this thing online. 1357 00:59:39,029 --> 00:59:40,039 It's really cool. It's called a pocket puss... 1358 00:59:40,063 --> 00:59:41,163 Abby likes Martin. 1359 00:59:42,364 --> 00:59:43,364 She told me herself. 1360 00:59:43,798 --> 00:59:45,966 - (scoffs) But he's Martin. - I know. 1361 00:59:47,637 --> 00:59:48,536 NICK: Look, I don't care. 1362 00:59:48,637 --> 00:59:49,947 - I'm gonna try. - Hey, wait, wait. 1363 00:59:49,971 --> 00:59:51,238 What about Leah? 1364 00:59:51,974 --> 00:59:53,207 What about Leah? 1365 00:59:53,910 --> 00:59:55,010 SIMON: Dude. 1366 00:59:57,180 --> 00:59:59,313 - Leah's in love with you. - No, she's not. 1367 00:59:59,614 --> 01:00:00,614 Are you kidding me? 1368 01:00:00,682 --> 01:00:02,195 I mean, come on. The way she looks at you 1369 01:00:02,219 --> 01:00:04,853 and how she's been all jealous ever since Abby's been around? 1370 01:00:04,921 --> 01:00:07,589 And she blushes every time you come into the room. 1371 01:00:09,124 --> 01:00:10,625 Look, you and Abby... 1372 01:00:11,729 --> 01:00:12,962 it's never gonna happen. 1373 01:00:13,529 --> 01:00:14,795 But you and Leah... 1374 01:00:15,498 --> 01:00:17,366 I mean, you could be incredible together. 1375 01:00:28,209 --> 01:00:29,376 - LEAH: Hey. - What's up? 1376 01:00:31,347 --> 01:00:33,147 So I have something to tell you. 1377 01:00:35,050 --> 01:00:36,552 Nick just asked me to get dinner 1378 01:00:36,618 --> 01:00:37,698 before the homecoming game. 1379 01:00:39,254 --> 01:00:40,254 Okay. 1380 01:00:40,821 --> 01:00:42,989 No, like, Si, he was like... 1381 01:00:43,224 --> 01:00:44,424 He came up to me and he's like, 1382 01:00:44,726 --> 01:00:45,886 "Do you wanna go get dinner?" 1383 01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:47,000 All right, and I was like, 1384 01:00:47,163 --> 01:00:48,706 "Sure, are Abby and Simon in?" And he was like 1385 01:00:48,730 --> 01:00:52,000 "I was thinking it could just be the two of us. Like, a date." 1386 01:00:53,034 --> 01:00:54,134 That's amazing. 1387 01:00:55,470 --> 01:00:56,470 It is? 1388 01:00:57,874 --> 01:00:58,973 Yeah. 1389 01:00:59,808 --> 01:01:01,074 Leah, come on. 1390 01:01:04,146 --> 01:01:05,380 I know you're into him. 1391 01:01:05,581 --> 01:01:06,581 (scoffs) What? 1392 01:01:07,050 --> 01:01:08,291 All that stuff that you were talking 1393 01:01:08,315 --> 01:01:09,850 about the night after Bram's party, 1394 01:01:09,917 --> 01:01:12,652 about, you know, being so into one person 1395 01:01:12,721 --> 01:01:14,053 that it almost kills you. 1396 01:01:15,724 --> 01:01:17,025 You were talking about Nick. 1397 01:01:19,527 --> 01:01:20,527 Uh... 1398 01:01:21,195 --> 01:01:23,330 So you think I should go out with him? 1399 01:01:24,334 --> 01:01:26,068 Yes. Yes. 1400 01:01:28,270 --> 01:01:29,270 Okay. 1401 01:01:30,637 --> 01:01:31,717 - SIMON: Yeah? - LEAH: Yeah! 1402 01:01:31,741 --> 01:01:33,183 SIMON: I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. 1403 01:01:33,207 --> 01:01:34,308 It's gonna be great! 1404 01:01:35,010 --> 01:01:36,544 (all cheering) 1405 01:01:37,945 --> 01:01:40,714 Let's pull out your claws, Grizzlies! 1406 01:01:41,318 --> 01:01:44,585 Oh! (laughs) 1407 01:01:49,124 --> 01:01:52,426 Simon, that Almont QB is insanely hot. 1408 01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:54,804 We can talk about stuff like this now, you know. 1409 01:01:54,828 --> 01:01:56,295 Yeah, I still don't know 1410 01:01:56,364 --> 01:01:57,732 if I really quite figured out how. 1411 01:01:59,702 --> 01:02:01,837 - Seriously? - Yeah. 1412 01:02:01,903 --> 01:02:04,837 We gotta practice. All right. Simon. 1413 01:02:05,072 --> 01:02:06,072 - Yeah? - Do you think 1414 01:02:06,375 --> 01:02:11,144 that quarterback is lookin' fine in those hot pants? 1415 01:02:12,582 --> 01:02:13,648 He's lookin' pretty fine. 1416 01:02:15,851 --> 01:02:18,019 No. No. No. 1417 01:02:18,453 --> 01:02:22,090 Fine! Good. Put your body into it. 1418 01:02:22,558 --> 01:02:23,856 Fine! (grunts) 1419 01:02:24,226 --> 01:02:25,160 That was really good. 1420 01:02:25,226 --> 01:02:26,346 - That was so good. - Thanks. 1421 01:02:26,695 --> 01:02:28,662 Hey, check it out. It's the Waffle House guy. 1422 01:02:30,732 --> 01:02:31,732 SIMON: Oh, yeah. 1423 01:02:32,634 --> 01:02:33,634 Whoa. 1424 01:02:34,802 --> 01:02:37,170 - Lyle? - I don't know. Could be. 1425 01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:39,006 - I don't know. - Do you think he's... 1426 01:02:39,074 --> 01:02:40,274 I don't know. 1427 01:02:41,243 --> 01:02:42,603 Okay, well, you should talk to him. 1428 01:02:42,645 --> 01:02:43,685 I'm gonna go get a coffee. 1429 01:02:43,711 --> 01:02:45,278 Look, you are fine! 1430 01:02:45,613 --> 01:02:46,615 (mouthing) You got this. 1431 01:02:47,517 --> 01:02:48,517 Hi. 1432 01:02:49,984 --> 01:02:52,419 Hey. If it isn't my favorite waiter. 1433 01:02:52,621 --> 01:02:55,655 Ah, there he is. The guy who sees everything. 1434 01:02:55,925 --> 01:02:56,925 - Yeah. - (chuckles) 1435 01:02:57,325 --> 01:02:59,202 Hey, I wouldn't have taken you for a homecoming guy. 1436 01:02:59,226 --> 01:03:00,493 Oh, just here for the coffee. 1437 01:03:00,829 --> 01:03:03,162 Of course. Yeah, it's all about the cappuccinos 1438 01:03:03,231 --> 01:03:04,732 and camaraderie for this guy. 1439 01:03:06,066 --> 01:03:08,134 - (clears throat) - (laughs) 1440 01:03:10,905 --> 01:03:11,905 I'm glad you're here. 1441 01:03:13,008 --> 01:03:14,107 You are? 1442 01:03:14,776 --> 01:03:15,776 Yeah. 1443 01:03:16,477 --> 01:03:18,377 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. 1444 01:03:20,081 --> 01:03:21,260 I was gonna ask you the other day 1445 01:03:21,284 --> 01:03:23,750 and then I was, like, too chickenshit. 1446 01:03:26,053 --> 01:03:27,287 What's Abby's deal? 1447 01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:30,923 I know you and her hang out a lot. 1448 01:03:30,992 --> 01:03:32,826 Are the two of you like a thing, or... 1449 01:03:33,828 --> 01:03:34,828 No. 1450 01:03:35,263 --> 01:03:37,163 No, uh, we're just friends. 1451 01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:39,310 I could never be just friends with someone that hot. 1452 01:03:39,334 --> 01:03:40,033 Yeah! 1453 01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:41,436 Every day is a struggle. 1454 01:03:43,235 --> 01:03:45,772 (sighs) I gotta go. I'll see ya. 1455 01:03:49,776 --> 01:03:51,511 MASCOT: Hey! You! 1456 01:03:52,479 --> 01:03:54,779 Little birdie told me you're into bears! 1457 01:03:54,983 --> 01:03:56,318 (growls) 1458 01:03:56,784 --> 01:03:57,784 (mascot laughs) 1459 01:03:58,187 --> 01:03:59,554 Dude! It's me! 1460 01:03:59,988 --> 01:04:01,089 (grunts) 1461 01:04:01,656 --> 01:04:03,256 I'm the Creekwood bear. 1462 01:04:04,027 --> 01:04:05,027 Of course, you are. 1463 01:04:05,094 --> 01:04:06,193 Thank you. 1464 01:04:06,628 --> 01:04:07,429 Not a compliment. 1465 01:04:07,630 --> 01:04:09,796 Hey, um... I figured out my next move with Abby. 1466 01:04:10,163 --> 01:04:11,665 Great, that's good for you, Martin. 1467 01:04:12,401 --> 01:04:14,501 I just wanted to run it by you real quick. 1468 01:04:14,670 --> 01:04:16,003 No, Martin, look. 1469 01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:17,649 I've been helping you for weeks 1470 01:04:17,673 --> 01:04:19,172 and I am sick and tired of helping you 1471 01:04:19,239 --> 01:04:20,251 mess with my friends' lives. 1472 01:04:20,275 --> 01:04:21,385 So why don't you just do that shit 1473 01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:22,709 that you did at Waffle House? 1474 01:04:23,178 --> 01:04:24,178 That went great. 1475 01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,146 So you're saying I should go for it? 1476 01:04:26,414 --> 01:04:27,491 It's kind of a big gesture. 1477 01:04:27,515 --> 01:04:29,884 Go big or go home! Right, Martin? 1478 01:04:30,819 --> 01:04:31,886 Go big or go home. 1479 01:04:32,121 --> 01:04:34,489 I like that. Thanks for the pep talk, man! 1480 01:04:35,289 --> 01:04:36,456 Gotta get amped up. 1481 01:04:37,158 --> 01:04:38,925 (grunts) Come on! 1482 01:04:39,261 --> 01:04:40,395 (cheerleaders whooping) 1483 01:04:40,563 --> 01:04:42,003 (marching band playing "Bad Romance") 1484 01:04:42,063 --> 01:04:44,164 (players yelling) 1485 01:04:45,232 --> 01:04:46,432 MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya! 1486 01:04:46,702 --> 01:04:48,512 (singing to "Bad Romance") ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪ 1487 01:04:48,536 --> 01:04:50,338 ♪ Claw, claw, claw, Claw, claw ♪ 1488 01:04:55,611 --> 01:04:56,611 AARON: Ethan! 1489 01:04:57,212 --> 01:04:58,746 I didn't know you like football. 1490 01:04:59,148 --> 01:05:00,914 He's just here to check out the packages. 1491 01:05:00,981 --> 01:05:02,158 Didn't your mother ever tell you 1492 01:05:02,182 --> 01:05:04,317 not to grab your micropenis in public? 1493 01:05:04,719 --> 01:05:07,054 Could we get some hummus for that baby carrot? 1494 01:05:07,256 --> 01:05:08,655 - (laughs) - Shut up, man. 1495 01:05:13,328 --> 01:05:15,496 - SIMON: Hey, guys. - What's up? Hey. 1496 01:05:18,899 --> 01:05:20,734 - How was dinner? - It was good. 1497 01:05:21,336 --> 01:05:23,668 Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings. 1498 01:05:24,304 --> 01:05:26,406 That dumpling place I told you about? 1499 01:05:27,143 --> 01:05:28,143 Yeah. 1500 01:05:28,274 --> 01:05:30,176 You know, maybe you could go with Martin. 1501 01:05:31,981 --> 01:05:33,247 Why would I go with Martin? 1502 01:05:33,949 --> 01:05:37,184 ANNOUNCER: Please stand for the national anthem. 1503 01:05:41,221 --> 01:05:43,322 This goes out to all the refugees. 1504 01:05:44,092 --> 01:05:46,294 And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis. 1505 01:05:46,795 --> 01:05:47,795 MAN: Yeah! 1506 01:05:48,730 --> 01:05:53,765 ♪ O say can you see ♪ 1507 01:05:54,202 --> 01:05:59,638 ♪ By the dawn's early light ♪ 1508 01:06:00,074 --> 01:06:01,875 ♪ What so proud... ♪ 1509 01:06:02,444 --> 01:06:03,778 What the hell are you doing? 1510 01:06:05,546 --> 01:06:06,546 Sorry. Hi. 1511 01:06:06,783 --> 01:06:08,715 Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1512 01:06:08,782 --> 01:06:10,502 Why are we interrupting the national anthem? 1513 01:06:10,552 --> 01:06:12,032 MARTIN: But I have something to say... 1514 01:06:12,620 --> 01:06:14,955 that's a little more important than the national anthem. 1515 01:06:15,957 --> 01:06:17,325 No offense, America. 1516 01:06:19,326 --> 01:06:22,262 Abigail Katherine Susso... 1517 01:06:22,796 --> 01:06:25,097 when you transferred to Creekwood High School, 1518 01:06:25,533 --> 01:06:27,735 just a short three and a half months ago, 1519 01:06:28,869 --> 01:06:31,170 you not only transferred into a new school, 1520 01:06:31,572 --> 01:06:34,573 you transferred your way into a new heart 1521 01:06:35,243 --> 01:06:37,977 belonging to me. My heart. Right here. 1522 01:06:38,613 --> 01:06:41,648 And whether it was being your partner in pong, 1523 01:06:42,084 --> 01:06:43,751 or your Waffle House warrior, 1524 01:06:44,786 --> 01:06:45,953 I have cherished... 1525 01:06:46,420 --> 01:06:51,590 the 135,300 minutes that we've spent together. 1526 01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:53,326 Oh, I'm sorry. 1527 01:06:53,929 --> 01:06:57,997 135,301 minutes. 1528 01:06:58,432 --> 01:07:01,434 And I know that you're this smart, talented 1529 01:07:02,271 --> 01:07:03,637 perfect creature. 1530 01:07:04,505 --> 01:07:09,874 And, uh, I'm just a sweaty schlub in a bear costume. 1531 01:07:10,611 --> 01:07:12,481 But like old Bogie used to say, 1532 01:07:13,380 --> 01:07:14,881 it's a "crazy mixed-up world." 1533 01:07:16,184 --> 01:07:17,286 So, Abby, 1534 01:07:17,919 --> 01:07:18,986 without further ado... 1535 01:07:21,256 --> 01:07:22,490 will you go out with me? 1536 01:07:23,925 --> 01:07:26,026 She's too hot for you, assface! 1537 01:07:27,128 --> 01:07:29,396 Excuse me. Sorry. 1538 01:07:32,366 --> 01:07:34,032 Just say yes. Say yes. 1539 01:07:34,202 --> 01:07:35,303 ABBY: Martin... 1540 01:07:36,271 --> 01:07:38,038 I am so sorry. 1541 01:07:39,105 --> 01:07:40,908 I don't feel that way about you. 1542 01:07:42,910 --> 01:07:43,910 You don't? 1543 01:07:45,814 --> 01:07:46,814 No. 1544 01:07:47,216 --> 01:07:48,696 But I really like hanging out with you 1545 01:07:48,750 --> 01:07:52,952 and I don't know, maybe we could still be friends, you know? 1546 01:07:53,421 --> 01:07:54,588 Yeah, uh... 1547 01:07:56,359 --> 01:07:57,658 Are those doves? 1548 01:08:01,262 --> 01:08:02,760 (crowd gasps) 1549 01:08:03,029 --> 01:08:04,698 No, no, hey, hey! Suraj! 1550 01:08:04,866 --> 01:08:07,467 Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don't. 1551 01:08:08,269 --> 01:08:10,403 (crowd laughing) 1552 01:08:15,710 --> 01:08:17,378 Yo, I thought you said she liked him. 1553 01:08:17,910 --> 01:08:22,315 Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for. 1554 01:08:22,617 --> 01:08:25,653 But still uplifting to free some birds. 1555 01:08:26,054 --> 01:08:27,054 Yeah. 1556 01:08:27,787 --> 01:08:28,787 Okay, uh... 1557 01:08:30,125 --> 01:08:31,125 Enjoy the game. 1558 01:08:33,227 --> 01:08:35,261 Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin! 1559 01:08:35,330 --> 01:08:37,463 You gave it a shot! Right? 1560 01:08:37,798 --> 01:08:39,432 (all cheering) 1561 01:08:48,576 --> 01:08:49,777 That was terrible. 1562 01:08:50,644 --> 01:08:52,945 Don't worry, people will get over it in a few weeks. 1563 01:08:58,585 --> 01:08:59,686 (glass shattering) 1564 01:09:02,091 --> 01:09:03,091 (bear growls) 1565 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,047 MARTIN (imitating Trump): This is Donald J. Trump. 1566 01:09:15,071 --> 01:09:17,271 Martin Addison can't come to the phone right now. 1567 01:09:17,338 --> 01:09:19,871 Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again. 1568 01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:23,443 Um, look, I wanna make sure you're doing all right. 1569 01:09:23,511 --> 01:09:25,245 I know it's been tough since, uh... 1570 01:09:26,147 --> 01:09:29,181 Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just... 1571 01:09:30,317 --> 01:09:31,517 Just give me a call back, okay? 1572 01:09:31,619 --> 01:09:33,019 I just wanna make sure you're okay. 1573 01:09:34,122 --> 01:09:35,266 - (knocking on window) - (yelps) 1574 01:09:35,290 --> 01:09:38,090 Hey! What you doin' in there? 1575 01:09:38,258 --> 01:09:39,258 Really? 1576 01:09:39,726 --> 01:09:41,460 I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya? 1577 01:09:41,464 --> 01:09:42,840 This is not cool. I'll be down in a minute, okay? 1578 01:09:42,864 --> 01:09:44,765 - What's not cool? - I'll be down in a minute. 1579 01:09:44,833 --> 01:09:47,067 The fact that you're on a ladder next to my room! 1580 01:09:47,134 --> 01:09:48,368 I can still clearly see you. 1581 01:09:48,868 --> 01:09:52,904 All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas. 1582 01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:54,541 (computer chimes) 1583 01:09:58,879 --> 01:09:59,578 BLUE: Jacques, 1584 01:09:59,647 --> 01:10:00,887 I'm drinking eggnog and packing 1585 01:10:00,915 --> 01:10:02,448 to go to my dad's cabin on Lake Rabun. 1586 01:10:02,648 --> 01:10:03,894 I'm pretty sure there's a photo of it 1587 01:10:03,918 --> 01:10:06,587 on the Wikipedia page for "middle of nowhere." 1588 01:10:06,955 --> 01:10:08,154 Middle of nowhere. 1589 01:10:08,823 --> 01:10:10,490 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1590 01:10:10,559 --> 01:10:11,827 in the middle of nowhere. 1591 01:10:13,094 --> 01:10:14,328 Oh, shit. 1592 01:10:14,796 --> 01:10:16,229 BLUE: There's barely electricity 1593 01:10:16,296 --> 01:10:17,495 and definitely no cell service 1594 01:10:17,564 --> 01:10:20,032 so this will be my last email for a while. 1595 01:10:20,533 --> 01:10:22,268 It should be a real rite of passage. 1596 01:10:22,436 --> 01:10:24,076 A dad and his gay son pretending they like 1597 01:10:24,138 --> 01:10:26,406 to fish and trying to find things to talk about. 1598 01:10:26,708 --> 01:10:28,051 It's gonna to be an excruciating two weeks 1599 01:10:28,075 --> 01:10:30,276 without you, Jacques. Love, Blue. 1600 01:10:30,677 --> 01:10:32,122 SIMON: Sounds like you're gonna need some good music. 1601 01:10:32,146 --> 01:10:34,380 So I'm sending a list of the seven best 1602 01:10:34,448 --> 01:10:36,282 Christmas songs of all time. 1603 01:10:36,584 --> 01:10:38,152 Of course it includes David Bowie's 1604 01:10:38,218 --> 01:10:38,951 "Little Drummer Boy," 1605 01:10:39,153 --> 01:10:40,654 and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' 1606 01:10:40,720 --> 01:10:41,788 "Christmas Everyday," 1607 01:10:41,956 --> 01:10:43,566 but the number one song you're gonna need, 1608 01:10:43,590 --> 01:10:44,959 and trust me, I know this sounds 1609 01:10:45,026 --> 01:10:46,026 a little bit twee... 1610 01:10:46,562 --> 01:10:47,960 ("Someday at Christmas" playing) 1611 01:10:48,027 --> 01:10:52,297 ♪ Someday at Christmas Men won't be boys ♪ 1612 01:10:52,700 --> 01:10:56,770 ♪ Playing with bombs Like kids play with toys ♪ 1613 01:10:57,038 --> 01:11:00,406 ♪ One warm December Our hearts will see ♪ 1614 01:11:00,742 --> 01:11:05,178 ♪ A world where men are free Ooh ♪ 1615 01:11:05,247 --> 01:11:09,615 ♪ Someday at Christmas There'll be no wars ♪ 1616 01:11:09,918 --> 01:11:13,887 ♪ When we have learned What Christmas is for ♪ 1617 01:11:14,155 --> 01:11:17,590 ♪ When we have found What life's really worth ♪ 1618 01:11:17,925 --> 01:11:21,293 ♪ There'll be peace on Earth ♪ 1619 01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:26,665 ♪ Someday all our dreams Will come to be ♪ 1620 01:11:26,902 --> 01:11:30,738 ♪ Someday in a world Where men are free ♪ 1621 01:11:31,206 --> 01:11:34,774 ♪ Maybe not in time For you and me ♪ 1622 01:11:34,908 --> 01:11:39,010 ♪ But someday At Christmas time ♪ 1623 01:11:39,713 --> 01:11:43,581 ♪ Someday at Christmas We'll see a land... ♪ 1624 01:11:43,649 --> 01:11:46,585 (cell phone ringing) 1625 01:11:49,323 --> 01:11:51,090 - Si, have you seen it? - Hey. 1626 01:11:51,625 --> 01:11:52,724 Seen what? 1627 01:11:53,192 --> 01:11:54,192 CreekSecrets. 1628 01:11:54,996 --> 01:11:56,897 You need to look at your computer right away. 1629 01:11:59,868 --> 01:12:01,769 MARTIN: Dear fellow Creekwood students, 1630 01:12:01,936 --> 01:12:04,570 Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal. 1631 01:12:04,640 --> 01:12:05,806 Because he's gay. 1632 01:12:06,173 --> 01:12:08,541 Interested parties may contact him directly 1633 01:12:08,608 --> 01:12:10,544 to discuss arrangements for butt sex. 1634 01:12:10,845 --> 01:12:12,678 Ladies need not apply. 1635 01:12:13,180 --> 01:12:15,214 We should all probably be talking about this 1636 01:12:15,282 --> 01:12:17,516 instead of Martin Addison's homecoming debacle 1637 01:12:17,918 --> 01:12:19,686 which was actually kind of sweet, 1638 01:12:19,919 --> 01:12:21,920 and romantic, if you think about it. 1639 01:12:22,422 --> 01:12:24,324 Sincerely, Anonymous. 1640 01:12:30,765 --> 01:12:33,233 LEAH: Si, have you read it? 1641 01:12:33,567 --> 01:12:34,767 SIMON: I can't talk right now. 1642 01:12:34,801 --> 01:12:36,336 - LEAH: No. Si, wait! - I gotta go. 1643 01:12:37,404 --> 01:12:38,404 Si? 1644 01:12:39,039 --> 01:12:40,039 I saw it. 1645 01:12:40,407 --> 01:12:43,208 I already reported it. They're gonna take it down. 1646 01:12:43,410 --> 01:12:44,688 It's too late. No, there's people 1647 01:12:44,712 --> 01:12:46,079 who've already seen it, so... 1648 01:12:46,479 --> 01:12:47,479 it doesn't really matter. 1649 01:12:49,551 --> 01:12:50,652 It's true. 1650 01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:54,920 I'm gay. 1651 01:12:55,554 --> 01:12:56,655 Oh... 1652 01:12:57,224 --> 01:12:58,625 So what are you gonna do? 1653 01:12:59,693 --> 01:13:00,794 I don't know. 1654 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:02,294 You could deny it. 1655 01:13:03,064 --> 01:13:04,798 Why the hell would I deny it, Nora? 1656 01:13:04,865 --> 01:13:06,366 I'm not ashamed of it. 1657 01:13:06,601 --> 01:13:08,868 You've just never really said anything. 1658 01:13:09,002 --> 01:13:09,702 So what? 1659 01:13:09,936 --> 01:13:11,048 What does that have to do with anything? 1660 01:13:11,072 --> 01:13:12,504 What the hell are you talking about? 1661 01:13:12,572 --> 01:13:13,873 (sobbing) Sorry. 1662 01:13:19,978 --> 01:13:21,124 SIMON: I know you're going off the grid 1663 01:13:21,148 --> 01:13:22,658 and you won't see this until you're back, 1664 01:13:22,682 --> 01:13:23,682 but something's happened. 1665 01:13:24,218 --> 01:13:25,919 You're gonna find out who I am. 1666 01:13:26,353 --> 01:13:27,854 And someone posted our emails. 1667 01:13:28,021 --> 01:13:30,656 Please don't freak out. Please, Blue. 1668 01:13:30,992 --> 01:13:33,158 I need you to promise me you won't disappear. 1669 01:13:35,229 --> 01:13:36,396 (computer chiming) 1670 01:13:41,102 --> 01:13:42,735 - (cell phone vibrating) - (exhales) 1671 01:14:08,963 --> 01:14:10,283 NORA: Mum, let me open my present. 1672 01:14:10,496 --> 01:14:13,131 EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to tell you you need to shave. 1673 01:14:13,967 --> 01:14:15,412 JACK: Does that mean you're gonna keep cooking? 1674 01:14:15,436 --> 01:14:17,546 NORA: Yeah, of course. I can make dinner tonight, too. 1675 01:14:17,570 --> 01:14:18,502 - JACK: Awesome. - What's this for? 1676 01:14:18,570 --> 01:14:19,570 Oh! 1677 01:14:19,907 --> 01:14:21,842 This one, Sherlock. There you go. 1678 01:14:27,246 --> 01:14:28,246 NORA: What is it? 1679 01:14:29,650 --> 01:14:30,951 Bluetooth headphones. 1680 01:14:31,018 --> 01:14:32,685 - Do you like the black? - Oh, I love it. 1681 01:14:33,020 --> 01:14:34,364 EMILY: Because I didn't know if you liked... 1682 01:14:34,388 --> 01:14:35,088 This is great. 1683 01:14:35,390 --> 01:14:36,833 - They have other colors. - He said he likes it. 1684 01:14:36,857 --> 01:14:38,055 - SIMON: No, I love it. - Okay. I have the receipt. 1685 01:14:38,057 --> 01:14:39,057 He's good. 1686 01:14:45,433 --> 01:14:48,835 Actually, I did want to talk to you guys about something. 1687 01:14:50,135 --> 01:14:51,135 What is it? 1688 01:14:53,139 --> 01:14:54,240 Uh, well... 1689 01:14:54,340 --> 01:14:55,340 JACK: Let me guess... 1690 01:14:57,011 --> 01:14:58,276 you got somebody pregnant. 1691 01:14:59,645 --> 01:15:00,645 No, you're pregnant. 1692 01:15:01,016 --> 01:15:03,583 - Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant. - JACK: (chuckles) I knew it. 1693 01:15:03,649 --> 01:15:04,728 He's got that glow about him, baby. 1694 01:15:04,752 --> 01:15:05,651 EMILY: Honey. 1695 01:15:05,719 --> 01:15:06,854 No. Uh... 1696 01:15:13,093 --> 01:15:14,093 I'm gay. 1697 01:15:16,297 --> 01:15:17,297 Honey. 1698 01:15:20,101 --> 01:15:22,335 And I don't want you guys to think anything different. 1699 01:15:23,302 --> 01:15:24,202 I'm still me. 1700 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:25,270 Of course you are. 1701 01:15:25,338 --> 01:15:26,840 - Oh, Simon. - Yeah. 1702 01:15:27,742 --> 01:15:28,742 So you're gay? 1703 01:15:29,510 --> 01:15:31,230 Which one of your old girlfriends turned ya? 1704 01:15:31,278 --> 01:15:33,077 Was it the one with the big eyebrow... 1705 01:15:33,147 --> 01:15:34,257 - Jack. - NORA: Jesus Christ. 1706 01:15:34,281 --> 01:15:35,781 Dad, can you ever shut the hell up? 1707 01:15:35,849 --> 01:15:36,849 I'm kidding. 1708 01:15:36,884 --> 01:15:38,095 - It's not funny. - I'm kidding, Nora. 1709 01:15:38,119 --> 01:15:40,053 Just open up your gift. Please. 1710 01:15:45,559 --> 01:15:46,560 EMILY: It's okay, honey. 1711 01:15:46,628 --> 01:15:47,937 - Nora, I got you this. - NORA: Simon. 1712 01:15:47,961 --> 01:15:49,361 That's for you. No, that's for you. 1713 01:15:49,429 --> 01:15:50,429 That's from me. 1714 01:15:55,803 --> 01:15:56,937 It's a Cuisinart. 1715 01:15:58,103 --> 01:15:59,972 I love it. Thank you, Simon. 1716 01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:06,445 SIMON: Dear Blue, happy New Year. 1717 01:16:06,647 --> 01:16:07,814 I haven't heard from you, 1718 01:16:08,047 --> 01:16:10,383 so I'm going to assume it's because you have no service. 1719 01:16:10,984 --> 01:16:13,251 I came out to my entire family on Christmas. 1720 01:16:13,754 --> 01:16:14,754 It didn't go great. 1721 01:16:15,022 --> 01:16:16,197 And I've been avoiding my friends 1722 01:16:16,221 --> 01:16:19,124 the whole break for all sorts of reasons. 1723 01:16:19,759 --> 01:16:21,093 Change is exhausting. 1724 01:16:21,461 --> 01:16:22,828 I feel like there's nowhere to hide 1725 01:16:22,896 --> 01:16:24,929 from all the newness of everything. 1726 01:16:25,399 --> 01:16:26,600 Except here. With you. 1727 01:16:27,367 --> 01:16:28,367 Please write to me. 1728 01:16:28,836 --> 01:16:31,137 As soon as you get even one bar of service. 1729 01:16:32,339 --> 01:16:33,339 Breakfast burrito? 1730 01:16:34,341 --> 01:16:35,341 Thanks. 1731 01:16:35,408 --> 01:16:36,408 EMILY: Hey, Si. 1732 01:16:38,647 --> 01:16:39,647 Come sit down. 1733 01:16:42,382 --> 01:16:43,382 I'm gonna be late. 1734 01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:00,200 (sighs) 1735 01:17:15,315 --> 01:17:16,315 Hey, guys. 1736 01:17:16,749 --> 01:17:18,016 Hey, Simon, we need to talk. 1737 01:17:18,952 --> 01:17:21,621 So Abby and I hung out on New Year's Eve, and... 1738 01:17:22,889 --> 01:17:24,000 you see, now we're together. 1739 01:17:24,024 --> 01:17:25,959 That's awesome. That's great. 1740 01:17:26,027 --> 01:17:27,027 NICK: Yeah, it is. 1741 01:17:27,727 --> 01:17:30,061 But then we got to talking about why it took so long. 1742 01:17:31,031 --> 01:17:32,175 ABBY: Why did you tell Nick that I have 1743 01:17:32,199 --> 01:17:33,732 a boyfriend in college named Jonathan? 1744 01:17:33,801 --> 01:17:35,481 - Why'd you make that up? - Look, Martin... 1745 01:17:35,869 --> 01:17:37,003 he was the one who wrote 1746 01:17:37,069 --> 01:17:38,636 that CreekSecrets post about me. 1747 01:17:39,072 --> 01:17:40,605 He screenshotted my emails 1748 01:17:40,707 --> 01:17:43,675 and he's been using them to blackmail me for months. 1749 01:17:44,211 --> 01:17:46,179 What does that have to do with us, Simon? 1750 01:17:47,013 --> 01:17:48,154 He told me that if I didn't help him 1751 01:17:48,178 --> 01:17:50,315 get with Abby, he'd out me. 1752 01:17:53,285 --> 01:17:54,285 And I... 1753 01:17:55,054 --> 01:17:56,689 That's why I had to keep you guys apart. 1754 01:17:56,757 --> 01:17:58,291 So you made up a bunch of lies. 1755 01:17:59,894 --> 01:18:00,827 And that's why you convinced me 1756 01:18:00,895 --> 01:18:02,055 to go on that date with Leah? 1757 01:18:02,362 --> 01:18:03,796 You know, to keep me away from Abby? 1758 01:18:03,965 --> 01:18:05,966 So, wait. Running lines at Waffle House 1759 01:18:06,032 --> 01:18:07,732 and beer pong at Bram's, 1760 01:18:07,901 --> 01:18:10,234 all of that was just to pawn me off on Martin? 1761 01:18:10,903 --> 01:18:12,570 I'm not a piece of meat, Simon. 1762 01:18:13,373 --> 01:18:15,473 You know how hard it was for me to start over. 1763 01:18:17,744 --> 01:18:19,011 I trusted you. 1764 01:18:19,547 --> 01:18:20,614 (sighs) 1765 01:18:23,250 --> 01:18:25,018 Hey, come on, Leah. I'll take you to school. 1766 01:18:31,157 --> 01:18:33,925 Leah. Leah, please. Listen, listen. 1767 01:18:34,059 --> 01:18:35,326 I know I messed up, okay? 1768 01:18:35,396 --> 01:18:36,873 But I knew you were in love with Nick. 1769 01:18:36,897 --> 01:18:38,664 - And I thought that maybe... - Just stop it! 1770 01:18:39,633 --> 01:18:41,467 You know what? You are insanely stupid, Simon. 1771 01:18:41,535 --> 01:18:44,736 I was never in love with Nick. I was in love with you! 1772 01:18:46,440 --> 01:18:47,440 (gasps) 1773 01:18:48,308 --> 01:18:49,308 Look... 1774 01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:52,244 We're... We're us. 1775 01:18:52,445 --> 01:18:53,545 Yeah, well... 1776 01:18:54,048 --> 01:18:56,049 (sighs) Sorry. 1777 01:18:58,316 --> 01:18:59,985 I've been trying to tell you. 1778 01:19:01,422 --> 01:19:05,423 That night I slept over, I was trying to tell you. 1779 01:19:08,060 --> 01:19:09,828 You wanna know the funniest part? 1780 01:19:10,631 --> 01:19:12,998 It's that all these years, you being so picky with girls, 1781 01:19:13,064 --> 01:19:15,133 I thought that maybe it was 1782 01:19:15,201 --> 01:19:17,334 because you might like me, too. 1783 01:19:17,937 --> 01:19:19,304 And then, you know, you told me 1784 01:19:19,371 --> 01:19:20,371 I should go out with Nick 1785 01:19:20,773 --> 01:19:23,013 and I realized you were just never gonna see me that way. 1786 01:19:23,909 --> 01:19:26,177 I can deal with you being gay, Si. 1787 01:19:26,979 --> 01:19:28,539 But you set me up to get my heart broken 1788 01:19:28,582 --> 01:19:30,059 when you thought I was in love with Nick 1789 01:19:30,083 --> 01:19:31,617 and that just makes you cruel. 1790 01:19:37,456 --> 01:19:40,058 - (car engine starts) - (Simon sighs) 1791 01:19:46,032 --> 01:19:49,601 (students murmuring) 1792 01:20:01,648 --> 01:20:02,648 You all right? 1793 01:20:02,817 --> 01:20:03,817 Hanging in there. 1794 01:20:04,285 --> 01:20:06,253 Uh, for the record, 1795 01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:08,921 when I was saying that we have a lot in common, you know, 1796 01:20:08,989 --> 01:20:11,258 I wasn't really... That's not what I was talking about. 1797 01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:12,724 Gotcha. 1798 01:20:13,127 --> 01:20:14,327 Just FYI, just for the record. 1799 01:20:14,394 --> 01:20:16,034 - SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks. - All right. 1800 01:20:26,572 --> 01:20:27,806 Hey, Jackie. 1801 01:20:28,040 --> 01:20:29,040 Did you date me 1802 01:20:29,109 --> 01:20:30,543 because you think I look like a guy? 1803 01:20:31,279 --> 01:20:33,479 No. No, I actually broke up with you 1804 01:20:33,546 --> 01:20:35,280 because you don't look like a guy. 1805 01:20:35,681 --> 01:20:38,850 Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks. 1806 01:20:39,519 --> 01:20:40,519 Welcome. 1807 01:20:52,365 --> 01:20:53,365 (sighs) 1808 01:20:53,499 --> 01:20:55,468 (rap music playing on phone) 1809 01:20:55,634 --> 01:20:57,167 Yeah! Hey, Creekwood! 1810 01:20:59,672 --> 01:21:01,239 This one's for you, Spier. 1811 01:21:02,841 --> 01:21:03,875 Hey, Ethan. 1812 01:21:04,710 --> 01:21:05,845 - Oh, yeah! - Oh, yeah. 1813 01:21:10,049 --> 01:21:11,582 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1814 01:21:11,652 --> 01:21:13,686 You like that, don't you, Spier? 1815 01:21:14,922 --> 01:21:17,789 - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey. 1816 01:21:18,023 --> 01:21:20,758 (Aaron and Spencer moaning) 1817 01:21:22,261 --> 01:21:23,781 You have something you wanna say to me? 1818 01:21:25,332 --> 01:21:26,842 I said do you have something to say to me? 1819 01:21:26,866 --> 01:21:28,033 (turns off music) 1820 01:21:28,100 --> 01:21:29,900 - I'll take it from here. - Hey, Ms. Albright. 1821 01:21:30,068 --> 01:21:31,236 Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me. 1822 01:21:31,304 --> 01:21:32,515 We're not friends. You're not gonna 1823 01:21:32,539 --> 01:21:34,107 braid my hair or paint my nails. 1824 01:21:34,174 --> 01:21:35,741 Get your ass off the table now! 1825 01:21:35,910 --> 01:21:38,210 You sweaty, hormonal virgins. 1826 01:21:38,543 --> 01:21:40,743 You know what? You're about to be suspended for so long, 1827 01:21:40,815 --> 01:21:42,491 that by the time it's over, you're gonna be 1828 01:21:42,515 --> 01:21:44,883 the fat, bald, unhappily married 1829 01:21:44,952 --> 01:21:48,252 wildly mediocre nobodies you're destined to become. 1830 01:21:48,321 --> 01:21:49,787 You can't talk to us like that. 1831 01:21:50,023 --> 01:21:51,489 Actually, I can, 'cause I just did. 1832 01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:53,403 And you know why? Because you're just those two 1833 01:21:53,427 --> 01:21:54,794 assholes that did that shitty thing 1834 01:21:54,893 --> 01:21:57,594 in front of the whole school. And guess what? 1835 01:21:57,963 --> 01:22:01,098 Nobody feels sorry for those assholes, especially me. 1836 01:22:01,633 --> 01:22:03,935 Now, walk. Mr. Worth's office now. 1837 01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:05,002 Bye. 1838 01:22:05,873 --> 01:22:07,072 Uh-uh. That's mine now. 1839 01:22:07,507 --> 01:22:09,842 I'mma sell it. Get my tubes tied. 1840 01:22:10,411 --> 01:22:12,845 (scattered laughter and chatter) 1841 01:22:23,355 --> 01:22:25,556 (inaudible conversation) 1842 01:22:26,325 --> 01:22:28,560 Why does Mr. Worth have to talk to us? 1843 01:22:29,494 --> 01:22:31,296 I mean, can't we just let this shit go? 1844 01:22:34,902 --> 01:22:36,269 Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan. 1845 01:22:38,505 --> 01:22:40,973 None of this ever happened when just you were out. 1846 01:22:42,673 --> 01:22:44,542 You know what they say, one gay's a snooze, 1847 01:22:44,611 --> 01:22:46,445 two's a hilarious hate crime. 1848 01:22:51,617 --> 01:22:53,519 You could've told me you were gay. 1849 01:22:55,888 --> 01:22:57,700 I guess I didn't think we had very much in common. 1850 01:22:57,724 --> 01:22:59,725 (scoffs) You're telling me, Simon. 1851 01:22:59,792 --> 01:23:01,592 It's not like your all-hoodie wardrobe 1852 01:23:01,660 --> 01:23:02,761 rocks my world. 1853 01:23:03,096 --> 01:23:04,295 (Simon chuckles) 1854 01:23:09,168 --> 01:23:10,269 I don't know. 1855 01:23:10,905 --> 01:23:12,238 Maybe I was jealous. 1856 01:23:13,340 --> 01:23:14,806 You've been out since you were 16. 1857 01:23:17,309 --> 01:23:19,044 It always seemed so easy for you. 1858 01:23:19,278 --> 01:23:20,379 Easy? 1859 01:23:21,113 --> 01:23:22,347 Are you kidding me? 1860 01:23:25,085 --> 01:23:26,951 My mom still tells my grandparents 1861 01:23:27,018 --> 01:23:28,319 about all the girls I'm dating 1862 01:23:28,420 --> 01:23:31,390 when we go over to their house for dinner, every Sunday. 1863 01:23:32,292 --> 01:23:34,691 She says it's 'cause they're old and religious, 1864 01:23:35,194 --> 01:23:36,694 and it's just easier that way. 1865 01:23:38,198 --> 01:23:39,564 I don't know, maybe that's true. 1866 01:23:40,565 --> 01:23:43,433 But you should hear her voice when she talks about the girls. 1867 01:23:49,040 --> 01:23:50,808 All right, boys, come on in. 1868 01:23:51,878 --> 01:23:52,878 Come on. 1869 01:23:54,213 --> 01:23:55,613 All right, just stand right here. 1870 01:23:55,882 --> 01:23:56,882 (speaks French) 1871 01:23:58,216 --> 01:23:59,317 Get up. 1872 01:24:02,653 --> 01:24:04,054 Okay, these gentlemen have something 1873 01:24:04,124 --> 01:24:05,484 that they would like to say to you. 1874 01:24:05,625 --> 01:24:07,291 - We're sorry. - Our bad. 1875 01:24:07,525 --> 01:24:09,326 That's right. 'Cause at Creekwood High, 1876 01:24:09,394 --> 01:24:10,394 what do we believe in? 1877 01:24:10,431 --> 01:24:11,431 BOTH: Tolerance. 1878 01:24:11,663 --> 01:24:13,798 And "tolerance" means we respect 1879 01:24:13,865 --> 01:24:15,632 Simon and Ethan's choice to be boyfriends. 1880 01:24:15,701 --> 01:24:17,401 - We are not boyfriends. - Yeah. No. 1881 01:24:17,703 --> 01:24:19,304 Hey, whatever you wanna call it, 1882 01:24:19,372 --> 01:24:20,532 it's fine with me. Seriously. 1883 01:24:20,573 --> 01:24:22,640 We call it "two people 1884 01:24:22,710 --> 01:24:24,476 that are not at all romantically involved." 1885 01:24:24,545 --> 01:24:26,021 Yeah, I get it. Keepin' it casual, man. 1886 01:24:26,045 --> 01:24:27,378 I can dig, seriously. 1887 01:24:29,182 --> 01:24:31,982 Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk? 1888 01:24:32,584 --> 01:24:33,662 I don't have anything to say to you. 1889 01:24:33,686 --> 01:24:35,420 Please, please. I just wanted to say 1890 01:24:35,486 --> 01:24:36,387 that I was sorry, okay? 1891 01:24:36,455 --> 01:24:38,222 I didn't know or think 1892 01:24:38,290 --> 01:24:39,600 that people still did shit like that. 1893 01:24:39,624 --> 01:24:41,238 And I got in a lot of shit for Homecoming, 1894 01:24:41,262 --> 01:24:43,695 and I wanted everyone to focus on something else, you know? 1895 01:24:43,762 --> 01:24:45,506 I just didn't think it was gonna be a big thing. 1896 01:24:45,530 --> 01:24:47,276 I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out 1897 01:24:47,300 --> 01:24:48,834 was gonna be a big thing, Martin. 1898 01:24:50,170 --> 01:24:51,530 Look, you don't get to decide that. 1899 01:24:51,736 --> 01:24:54,105 I'm supposed to be the one that decides when 1900 01:24:54,173 --> 01:24:55,874 and where, and how and who knows 1901 01:24:55,942 --> 01:24:56,775 and how I get to say it. 1902 01:24:56,843 --> 01:24:58,377 That's supposed to be my thing! 1903 01:24:58,476 --> 01:25:00,078 And you took that away from me. 1904 01:25:01,248 --> 01:25:03,949 So, well, can you please just get the fuck away from me? 1905 01:25:13,223 --> 01:25:14,223 (sighs) 1906 01:25:27,006 --> 01:25:28,006 (computer chimes) 1907 01:25:35,948 --> 01:25:39,017 BLUE: I saw the posts. I know who you are. 1908 01:25:40,018 --> 01:25:40,718 Jacques a Dit. 1909 01:25:41,022 --> 01:25:43,089 That's what they call Simon Says in France. 1910 01:25:43,455 --> 01:25:44,455 Very clever. 1911 01:25:44,891 --> 01:25:47,458 I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. 1912 01:25:47,526 --> 01:25:49,360 - SIMON: Please, Blue. - BLUE: I'm so sorry. 1913 01:25:49,663 --> 01:25:52,464 SIMON: You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart. 1914 01:25:55,001 --> 01:25:56,401 (takes deep breath) 1915 01:26:22,462 --> 01:26:23,795 (sobbing) 1916 01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:45,727 I mean, I haven't even talked to her. 1917 01:26:45,751 --> 01:26:47,119 I haven't even seen her at school. 1918 01:26:49,454 --> 01:26:51,322 Anyway, I guess I'll see you in class, right? 1919 01:26:51,387 --> 01:26:52,747 - GIRL: Yeah, totally. - CAL: Okay. 1920 01:26:52,791 --> 01:26:53,791 Later. 1921 01:26:54,962 --> 01:26:56,795 - Hey. - Hey, Simon. 1922 01:26:59,399 --> 01:27:00,500 Is it you? 1923 01:27:02,535 --> 01:27:03,635 Are you Blue? 1924 01:27:04,502 --> 01:27:07,871 No. No, it's not me. Sorry. 1925 01:27:11,377 --> 01:27:13,011 I know you've had a crazy couple days. 1926 01:27:13,079 --> 01:27:14,080 You wanna talk about it? 1927 01:27:14,314 --> 01:27:16,413 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. 1928 01:27:16,747 --> 01:27:18,682 - No, don't worry. - Sorry for bothering you. 1929 01:27:38,370 --> 01:27:39,538 [door closes] 1930 01:27:59,892 --> 01:28:00,892 Did you know? 1931 01:28:06,398 --> 01:28:08,099 I knew you had a secret. 1932 01:28:13,173 --> 01:28:15,909 I mean, when you were little, you were so carefree. 1933 01:28:17,176 --> 01:28:21,611 But these last few years, more and more... 1934 01:28:23,081 --> 01:28:25,882 it's almost like I could feel you holding your breath. 1935 01:28:33,625 --> 01:28:35,561 I wanted to ask you about it, but I... 1936 01:28:36,460 --> 01:28:38,094 didn't wanna pry. 1937 01:28:41,133 --> 01:28:44,835 - Maybe I made a mistake. - No. No, Mom, you... 1938 01:28:46,604 --> 01:28:47,971 You didn't make a mistake. 1939 01:28:52,376 --> 01:28:54,411 EMILY: Being gay is your thing. 1940 01:28:55,212 --> 01:28:58,315 There are parts of it you have to go through alone. 1941 01:28:58,919 --> 01:28:59,919 I hate that. 1942 01:29:01,186 --> 01:29:04,221 As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." 1943 01:29:08,159 --> 01:29:09,595 I need you to hear this. 1944 01:29:11,730 --> 01:29:14,299 You are still you, Simon. 1945 01:29:16,635 --> 01:29:21,402 And you are still the same son who I love to tease, 1946 01:29:22,306 --> 01:29:25,910 and who your father depends on for just about everything. 1947 01:29:26,578 --> 01:29:27,878 And you're the same brother 1948 01:29:28,178 --> 01:29:31,147 who always compliments his sister on her food, 1949 01:29:31,216 --> 01:29:33,150 even when it sucks. 1950 01:29:36,788 --> 01:29:39,157 But you get to exhale now, Simon. 1951 01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:44,695 You get to be more you than you have been... 1952 01:29:46,798 --> 01:29:48,699 in a very long time. 1953 01:29:55,908 --> 01:29:57,942 You deserve everything you want. 1954 01:30:12,656 --> 01:30:13,757 My boy. 1955 01:30:30,575 --> 01:30:32,175 Hey, Leah. 1956 01:30:32,509 --> 01:30:33,509 - Hey. - What's up? 1957 01:30:33,912 --> 01:30:35,012 What are you doing? 1958 01:30:35,783 --> 01:30:37,315 Just going for a run, you know. 1959 01:30:38,216 --> 01:30:40,451 - Daily ritual. - Yeah, you've never done that. 1960 01:30:41,385 --> 01:30:42,385 Have too. 1961 01:30:42,787 --> 01:30:44,156 But you're wearing jeans. 1962 01:30:45,724 --> 01:30:46,656 They're my running jeans. 1963 01:30:46,724 --> 01:30:48,457 Simon, you're about to pass out. 1964 01:30:49,260 --> 01:30:51,161 (panting) Okay, fine. I'm not going for a run. 1965 01:30:52,431 --> 01:30:54,132 Hey, Leah. Please, listen. 1966 01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:55,300 Look, I know, okay? 1967 01:30:55,369 --> 01:30:56,978 You didn't want anyone to know you're gay. 1968 01:30:57,002 --> 01:30:58,403 No, that wasn't just it. 1969 01:31:01,940 --> 01:31:03,309 I fell in love with someone. 1970 01:31:04,844 --> 01:31:06,277 That guy in the emails... 1971 01:31:08,280 --> 01:31:09,280 I love him. 1972 01:31:10,250 --> 01:31:12,650 And I knew that if Martin leaked our emails, 1973 01:31:12,717 --> 01:31:13,918 it'd scare him off. 1974 01:31:15,155 --> 01:31:16,155 I'm sorry. 1975 01:31:18,824 --> 01:31:20,324 I know what I did was messed up. 1976 01:31:24,262 --> 01:31:25,262 You're my best friend. 1977 01:31:25,596 --> 01:31:26,596 If I'm your best friend, 1978 01:31:26,831 --> 01:31:28,591 then why did you come out to Abby and not me? 1979 01:31:31,303 --> 01:31:32,303 Think it was easier. 1980 01:31:34,040 --> 01:31:35,675 I've known Abby for six months, 1981 01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:39,310 and I've known you for 13 years. 1982 01:31:41,645 --> 01:31:42,846 And I knew that if I told you, 1983 01:31:42,914 --> 01:31:44,916 that everything was gonna be different. 1984 01:31:46,851 --> 01:31:48,953 I really wanted things to stay the same. 1985 01:31:53,558 --> 01:31:55,192 Tell me about this guy you love. 1986 01:31:59,331 --> 01:32:00,798 - You sure? - Yeah. 1987 01:32:01,400 --> 01:32:03,601 It'll help me kill off Hetero Simon in my mind. 1988 01:32:04,235 --> 01:32:06,802 - You don't have to kill him off. - He's dead, Si. 1989 01:32:07,172 --> 01:32:09,341 Hacking him up with a mental machete as we speak. 1990 01:32:10,542 --> 01:32:11,640 (chuckles) 1991 01:32:12,009 --> 01:32:14,044 All right. Fair enough. 1992 01:32:16,880 --> 01:32:18,081 So, I call him Blue. 1993 01:32:28,659 --> 01:32:29,894 Hey, Si. 1994 01:32:32,064 --> 01:32:33,064 Yeah? 1995 01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:39,469 (sighs) 1996 01:32:43,708 --> 01:32:44,909 How long have you known? 1997 01:32:47,178 --> 01:32:51,015 Like, I really started to get it when I was around... 1998 01:32:53,284 --> 01:32:54,284 thirteen? 1999 01:32:54,485 --> 01:32:56,152 Four years? Four years of... 2000 01:32:57,955 --> 01:32:58,955 eating dinner together, 2001 01:32:59,091 --> 01:33:00,611 four years of going to movies together. 2002 01:33:00,661 --> 01:33:03,428 Four years of walking Bieber together. 2003 01:33:05,833 --> 01:33:06,932 I'm sorry. 2004 01:33:07,799 --> 01:33:09,133 I shouldn't have missed it. 2005 01:33:09,502 --> 01:33:11,302 No. Hey, no, Dad. 2006 01:33:11,435 --> 01:33:12,602 All those stupid jokes... 2007 01:33:13,672 --> 01:33:14,884 Well, I know you didn't mean 'em. 2008 01:33:14,908 --> 01:33:16,708 It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have missed it. 2009 01:33:20,511 --> 01:33:21,511 But... 2010 01:33:21,946 --> 01:33:24,215 in case the message got lost somewhere I just... 2011 01:33:25,884 --> 01:33:27,918 I just want you to know that I love you. 2012 01:33:30,021 --> 01:33:31,461 (crying) And I'm really proud of you. 2013 01:33:32,958 --> 01:33:35,126 I wouldn't change anything about you. 2014 01:33:38,264 --> 01:33:39,463 Hey. Shit, Dad. 2015 01:33:42,465 --> 01:33:43,465 Hey, stop crying. 2016 01:33:43,600 --> 01:33:45,402 I'm trying. I'm trying. 2017 01:33:46,604 --> 01:33:47,638 Oh, God. 2018 01:33:50,241 --> 01:33:51,241 Come here. 2019 01:34:00,984 --> 01:34:02,585 How's that video for Mom coming? 2020 01:34:02,952 --> 01:34:04,388 - Good. - Good, good. 2021 01:34:04,457 --> 01:34:05,457 Good. 2022 01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:09,270 You don't know how to export it, do you? 2023 01:34:09,294 --> 01:34:10,504 Can you help me with that, please? 2024 01:34:10,528 --> 01:34:11,528 Yeah. 2025 01:34:11,864 --> 01:34:12,964 - Okay. - Let's go. 2026 01:34:13,465 --> 01:34:14,465 Hey. 2027 01:34:15,031 --> 01:34:17,299 I thought maybe we could sign up for Grindr together. 2028 01:34:18,370 --> 01:34:20,138 You don't know what Grindr is, do you? 2029 01:34:21,070 --> 01:34:23,106 It's Facebook for gay people. 2030 01:34:23,675 --> 01:34:24,675 Not what it is. 2031 01:34:28,513 --> 01:34:29,211 Ladies and gentlemen, 2032 01:34:29,313 --> 01:34:31,514 I present to you 20 years of bliss. 2033 01:34:32,916 --> 01:34:36,218 (video playing) 2034 01:34:40,191 --> 01:34:41,925 EMILY: Did you guys do this? 2035 01:34:42,926 --> 01:34:44,427 Simon and I did it, yeah. 2036 01:34:45,364 --> 01:34:47,031 - I just helped. - It was mostly me. 2037 01:34:47,230 --> 01:34:48,698 EMILY: (laughs) Yeah, right. 2038 01:34:52,905 --> 01:34:54,406 Really? Really? 2039 01:34:56,072 --> 01:34:57,641 EMILY: I can't believe you did this. 2040 01:34:58,410 --> 01:35:00,477 I panicked and bought you a watch. 2041 01:35:00,944 --> 01:35:01,944 That's okay. 2042 01:35:02,245 --> 01:35:03,579 You can give me somethin' later 2043 01:35:03,650 --> 01:35:04,850 that I can't get in the store. 2044 01:35:04,917 --> 01:35:05,983 That's really gross. 2045 01:35:06,317 --> 01:35:08,484 - Oh, guys, just look. - Sorry, just pay attention. 2046 01:35:08,987 --> 01:35:10,087 Just look at baby Bieber! 2047 01:35:10,155 --> 01:35:11,255 NORA: He was so cute! 2048 01:35:11,322 --> 01:35:13,191 EMILY: Just look at our baby! 2049 01:35:17,062 --> 01:35:18,995 SIMON: Dear students of Creekwood High School, 2050 01:35:19,431 --> 01:35:22,298 As anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, 2051 01:35:22,869 --> 01:35:24,870 a recent post on this very website 2052 01:35:25,070 --> 01:35:26,370 declared that I was gay. 2053 01:35:27,105 --> 01:35:28,649 The delivery left something to be desired, 2054 01:35:28,673 --> 01:35:30,074 but the message is true. 2055 01:35:30,676 --> 01:35:32,675 I am... gay. 2056 01:35:33,210 --> 01:35:36,278 For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. 2057 01:35:37,081 --> 01:35:38,281 I had all these reasons. 2058 01:35:38,450 --> 01:35:40,851 It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. 2059 01:35:40,918 --> 01:35:42,118 I was sick of change. 2060 01:35:42,352 --> 01:35:43,852 But the truth is I was just scared. 2061 01:35:43,922 --> 01:35:45,233 COACH: Come on, Garrett. Let's go! 2062 01:35:45,257 --> 01:35:47,000 SIMON: At first I thought it was just a gay thing. 2063 01:35:47,024 --> 01:35:48,825 But then I realized, no matter what, 2064 01:35:48,994 --> 01:35:50,128 announcing who you are 2065 01:35:50,196 --> 01:35:51,828 to the world is pretty terrifying 2066 01:35:52,029 --> 01:35:54,530 because what if the world doesn't like you? 2067 01:35:55,033 --> 01:35:57,666 So, I did whatever I could to keep my secret. 2068 01:35:58,135 --> 01:36:00,705 I hurt the best, most important people. 2069 01:36:01,103 --> 01:36:02,623 And I want them to know that I'm sorry. 2070 01:36:03,174 --> 01:36:04,708 I am done being scared. 2071 01:36:05,311 --> 01:36:06,543 I'm done living in a world 2072 01:36:06,610 --> 01:36:08,412 where I don't get to be who I am. 2073 01:36:08,713 --> 01:36:10,381 I deserve a great love story. 2074 01:36:10,583 --> 01:36:13,115 Disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as eff, 2075 01:36:13,417 --> 01:36:15,452 so anyone adverse to gratuitous feelings 2076 01:36:15,521 --> 01:36:17,421 kindly click over to the BuzzFeed quiz 2077 01:36:17,489 --> 01:36:19,690 or resume the porn you paused to read this. 2078 01:36:19,756 --> 01:36:20,956 Did you even use the ladder? 2079 01:36:21,024 --> 01:36:22,504 SIMON: This guy that I love once wrote 2080 01:36:22,594 --> 01:36:24,962 that he felt like he was stuck on a Ferris wheel. 2081 01:36:25,531 --> 01:36:26,929 On top of the world one minute, 2082 01:36:27,230 --> 01:36:28,630 at rock bottom the next. 2083 01:36:29,301 --> 01:36:30,602 That's how I feel now. 2084 01:36:32,069 --> 01:36:34,370 I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, 2085 01:36:34,774 --> 01:36:36,407 a more understanding family. 2086 01:36:36,908 --> 01:36:38,241 But it would all be so much better 2087 01:36:38,309 --> 01:36:39,743 if I had someone to share it with. 2088 01:36:42,680 --> 01:36:43,680 So, Blue... 2089 01:36:44,282 --> 01:36:46,650 I might not know your name or what you look like. 2090 01:36:48,088 --> 01:36:49,321 But I know who you are. 2091 01:36:50,455 --> 01:36:52,122 I know you're funny and thoughtful. 2092 01:36:52,655 --> 01:36:54,190 That you choose your words carefully 2093 01:36:54,259 --> 01:36:55,758 and that they're always perfect. 2094 01:36:56,527 --> 01:36:59,095 And I know that you've been pretending for so long 2095 01:36:59,163 --> 01:37:00,730 it's hard to believe you can stop. 2096 01:37:01,632 --> 01:37:02,632 I get it. 2097 01:37:03,268 --> 01:37:05,203 Like I told you at the very beginning, 2098 01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,436 I'm just like you. 2099 01:37:06,603 --> 01:37:08,338 - GIRLS: Hi, Simon. - SIMON: What's up? 2100 01:37:08,840 --> 01:37:09,840 SIMON: So, Blue... 2101 01:37:10,342 --> 01:37:12,307 after the play, Friday at 10:00, 2102 01:37:12,375 --> 01:37:13,610 you know where I'll be. 2103 01:37:14,547 --> 01:37:17,013 No pressure for you to show up, but I hope you do. 2104 01:37:17,782 --> 01:37:20,184 Because you deserve a great love story too. 2105 01:37:20,786 --> 01:37:23,087 Love, Simon. 2106 01:37:34,233 --> 01:37:36,100 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 2107 01:37:36,165 --> 01:37:37,866 ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 2108 01:37:38,168 --> 01:37:44,171 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 2109 01:37:44,774 --> 01:37:46,241 ♪ Au cabaret ♪ 2110 01:37:47,112 --> 01:37:54,251 ♪ To cabaret ♪ 2111 01:37:58,688 --> 01:38:00,556 (audience cheering) 2112 01:38:05,163 --> 01:38:06,729 (all gasping) 2113 01:38:07,332 --> 01:38:10,168 Okay. They're not paying me enough for this. 2114 01:38:12,035 --> 01:38:13,669 (indistinct chatter) 2115 01:38:18,342 --> 01:38:19,241 - ABBY: Hi - LEAH: Oh, my God. 2116 01:38:19,312 --> 01:38:20,389 - Oh, my God! - You were amazing. 2117 01:38:20,413 --> 01:38:21,413 I'm not even kidding. 2118 01:38:21,445 --> 01:38:22,980 - You were, like, insane. - Thank you! 2119 01:38:23,047 --> 01:38:24,681 - What's up? - Baby! 2120 01:38:24,781 --> 01:38:25,781 (laughing) 2121 01:38:28,987 --> 01:38:30,221 ABBY: Yeah. Yeah. 2122 01:38:34,661 --> 01:38:35,661 (clears throat) 2123 01:38:36,026 --> 01:38:37,628 - Hey, Simon. - Hey. 2124 01:38:40,698 --> 01:38:42,798 Do you wanna go to the carnival with us tonight? 2125 01:38:48,039 --> 01:38:49,039 Yes. 2126 01:38:49,172 --> 01:38:50,206 - Yeah? - SIMON: Yeah! 2127 01:38:50,274 --> 01:38:51,274 LEAH: Yay! 2128 01:38:51,341 --> 01:38:52,675 Get in here, Leah! 2129 01:38:53,110 --> 01:38:54,379 LEAH: (grunts) The love! 2130 01:38:54,779 --> 01:38:55,779 Thank you. 2131 01:39:15,266 --> 01:39:16,165 - We'll be right here. - Yeah. 2132 01:39:16,232 --> 01:39:17,800 - Go get him. - All right. 2133 01:39:17,934 --> 01:39:19,535 - Yes! - Woo! Yeah! 2134 01:39:19,604 --> 01:39:20,337 Go, Simon! 2135 01:39:20,406 --> 01:39:22,373 - Spier, Spier, Spier! - Woo! 2136 01:39:23,174 --> 01:39:24,608 That should last a while. 2137 01:39:28,346 --> 01:39:29,346 GIRL: Oh, my God, look. 2138 01:39:29,481 --> 01:39:31,147 I bet he's waiting for the other gay kid. 2139 01:39:31,315 --> 01:39:32,950 Where's Dana? She'll love this. 2140 01:39:34,717 --> 01:39:37,018 ABBY: You got this, buddy. Proud of you. 2141 01:39:37,087 --> 01:39:38,587 (students cheering) 2142 01:39:38,924 --> 01:39:40,189 - Yeah, buddy! - Yeah! 2143 01:39:40,257 --> 01:39:41,523 You got it! Woo! 2144 01:39:41,725 --> 01:39:42,725 ABBY: This is it. 2145 01:39:47,199 --> 01:39:48,366 ALL: Yeah! 2146 01:39:48,766 --> 01:39:49,766 (cheering continues) 2147 01:39:55,140 --> 01:39:56,573 We love you, Simon! 2148 01:39:57,341 --> 01:39:59,308 (all cheering) 2149 01:40:01,211 --> 01:40:03,379 Yo. Can you just... Come on, no. 2150 01:40:08,719 --> 01:40:10,320 (all whooping) 2151 01:40:31,575 --> 01:40:34,511 Okay. That's your last ride ticket, buddy. 2152 01:40:36,446 --> 01:40:37,847 MARTIN: Wait. Wait! 2153 01:40:41,786 --> 01:40:43,654 Simon, it's me. 2154 01:40:45,390 --> 01:40:47,758 I'm Blue. l love you. 2155 01:40:49,359 --> 01:40:51,928 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not. I just... 2156 01:40:52,995 --> 01:40:55,298 This is so brutal. 2157 01:40:57,034 --> 01:40:58,468 Here. I'll tell you what. 2158 01:40:58,837 --> 01:41:01,538 I got a couple... How much is it? 2159 01:41:02,105 --> 01:41:05,174 - It's four tickets, four bucks. - Perfect. Okay. There you go. 2160 01:41:05,276 --> 01:41:06,376 Last one's on me. 2161 01:41:07,944 --> 01:41:08,944 Got it. 2162 01:41:10,580 --> 01:41:12,749 Last call for the Ferris wheel! 2163 01:41:15,018 --> 01:41:17,687 Oh, no, I can't watch. I can't watch this, babe. No. 2164 01:41:18,222 --> 01:41:19,222 This is awful. 2165 01:41:19,690 --> 01:41:21,589 - Okay, Dora. - Wait, wait. 2166 01:41:23,328 --> 01:41:24,529 Can I sit there? 2167 01:41:25,363 --> 01:41:26,930 I was kind of waiting for somebody. 2168 01:41:28,332 --> 01:41:29,433 Yeah, I know. 2169 01:41:34,304 --> 01:41:35,538 It's Bram! 2170 01:41:41,780 --> 01:41:42,780 It's you. 2171 01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:45,448 It's me. 2172 01:41:48,586 --> 01:41:50,154 But that night at the party... 2173 01:41:50,355 --> 01:41:53,023 Yeah. I was drunk and confused. 2174 01:41:53,090 --> 01:41:55,957 And it ended, like, a minute after you saw us. 2175 01:41:59,296 --> 01:42:00,429 And you're Jewish. 2176 01:42:01,130 --> 01:42:02,130 Yeah. 2177 01:42:03,102 --> 01:42:04,102 Which is cool. 2178 01:42:05,169 --> 01:42:06,569 And I'm black too. 2179 01:42:07,870 --> 01:42:08,870 And gay. 2180 01:42:10,175 --> 01:42:11,175 It's kind of crazy, huh? 2181 01:42:11,408 --> 01:42:12,576 I didn't think you'd come. 2182 01:42:13,844 --> 01:42:14,844 Me neither. 2183 01:42:15,113 --> 01:42:18,448 Until I was walking towards you, I didn't think I had it in me. 2184 01:42:26,857 --> 01:42:28,658 (all murmuring) 2185 01:42:39,303 --> 01:42:40,902 Are you disappointed that it's me? 2186 01:42:44,843 --> 01:42:45,843 No. 2187 01:42:49,313 --> 01:42:52,748 (all cheering) 2188 01:43:26,284 --> 01:43:27,983 (cell phone ringing) 2189 01:43:32,321 --> 01:43:33,321 Hey. 2190 01:43:33,392 --> 01:43:34,568 LEAH: Have you seen CreekSecrets? 2191 01:43:34,592 --> 01:43:36,927 There are six new confessions, all signed. 2192 01:43:37,461 --> 01:43:38,461 Listen to this. 2193 01:43:38,995 --> 01:43:41,395 "My parents didn't come and see me in Cabaret. 2194 01:43:41,598 --> 01:43:43,366 They hate that I wanna be an actor. 2195 01:43:43,533 --> 01:43:45,933 I don't know if they'll ever be proud of me. 2196 01:43:46,237 --> 01:43:47,505 Taylor Metternich." 2197 01:43:47,839 --> 01:43:48,839 Wow. 2198 01:43:49,374 --> 01:43:50,740 You're a trendsetter, Spier. 2199 01:43:51,673 --> 01:43:53,708 Now, come on, get in the car. We need to go. 2200 01:44:03,921 --> 01:44:05,587 - Good morning! - Ah, there he is! 2201 01:44:05,654 --> 01:44:07,374 - Morning, Simon. - Top of the morning, kid. 2202 01:44:07,593 --> 01:44:08,593 What's this? 2203 01:44:08,892 --> 01:44:10,726 - Nora's specialty. - Mm, coconut? 2204 01:44:10,794 --> 01:44:12,227 - Yeah. - You look good. 2205 01:44:12,598 --> 01:44:14,132 - Have a good day, honey. - You too. 2206 01:44:14,199 --> 01:44:15,530 - Is it good? - It's delicious. 2207 01:44:15,766 --> 01:44:17,577 - I'll see you guys. - What, you're not gonna eat? 2208 01:44:17,601 --> 01:44:18,500 Bye, Simon. 2209 01:44:18,567 --> 01:44:22,671 ("Wild Heart" playing) 2210 01:44:31,848 --> 01:44:33,082 - Mornin'. - Mornin', buddy. 2211 01:44:35,019 --> 01:44:36,552 ♪ No one will ever Read the letters ♪ 2212 01:44:36,718 --> 01:44:38,652 ♪ Or the lies that I told ♪ 2213 01:44:38,956 --> 01:44:41,524 ♪ From the years I was changed... ♪ 2214 01:44:41,891 --> 01:44:43,758 - Good morning. - Hey! How you doin', Leah? 2215 01:44:43,827 --> 01:44:45,293 Pretty good. Pretty good. 2216 01:44:46,529 --> 01:44:48,264 ♪ Why did they have to go And run ♪ 2217 01:44:48,332 --> 01:44:50,966 ♪ From the dream far away ♪ 2218 01:44:51,468 --> 01:44:53,935 ♪ Were we there? Was I brave? ♪ 2219 01:44:54,304 --> 01:44:56,539 ♪ Ooh, ooh! ♪ 2220 01:44:56,973 --> 01:44:57,973 Hey! 2221 01:45:05,349 --> 01:45:06,349 Hey. 2222 01:45:10,618 --> 01:45:12,020 - Morning. - Morning. 2223 01:45:15,625 --> 01:45:16,524 Everybody in? 2224 01:45:16,593 --> 01:45:17,593 - Yes. - Oh, yeah. 2225 01:45:17,661 --> 01:45:19,061 All right, it's too beautiful a day, 2226 01:45:19,130 --> 01:45:21,341 so I think I'm gonna actually take us on a little adventure. 2227 01:45:21,365 --> 01:45:22,499 - Yes! - Woo! 2228 01:45:22,565 --> 01:45:24,165 That's exactly what I need! 2229 01:45:24,335 --> 01:45:25,335 NICK: Yeah, adventure! 2230 01:45:27,370 --> 01:45:29,172 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2231 01:45:30,472 --> 01:45:31,774 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2232 01:45:33,345 --> 01:45:34,744 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2233 01:45:36,345 --> 01:45:37,712 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2234 01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:40,684 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2235 01:45:42,352 --> 01:45:43,686 ♪ Wild heart ♪ 2236 01:45:43,688 --> 01:45:45,621 Subtitles by explosiveskull Resync by GoldenBeard 2237 01:45:45,623 --> 01:45:49,326 ♪ When we met Everything seemed all right ♪ 2238 01:45:52,029 --> 01:45:54,030 ♪ I turn and sing On the sidewalk ♪ 2239 01:45:54,097 --> 01:45:56,098 ♪ Cut straight through The moonlight ♪ 2240 01:45:59,036 --> 01:46:02,705 ♪ I loved those days We didn't get out of bed ♪ 2241 01:46:05,810 --> 01:46:09,411 ♪ Left your taste in my mouth Your strange voice in my head ♪ 2242 01:46:10,048 --> 01:46:12,949 ♪ Oh I wanna hear it again ♪ 2243 01:46:13,950 --> 01:46:16,451 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2244 01:46:16,720 --> 01:46:19,689 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2245 01:46:20,923 --> 01:46:23,058 ♪ No not so typical love song ♪ 2246 01:46:23,327 --> 01:46:26,262 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2247 01:46:27,597 --> 01:46:30,066 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2248 01:46:30,301 --> 01:46:33,203 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2249 01:46:34,171 --> 01:46:36,671 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2250 01:46:36,975 --> 01:46:39,877 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2251 01:46:41,143 --> 01:46:42,778 ♪ Hey ♪ 2252 01:46:48,683 --> 01:46:50,417 ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 2253 01:46:53,222 --> 01:46:55,355 ♪ You leave the city And chase bullet holes ♪ 2254 01:46:55,423 --> 01:46:57,191 ♪ That's actually starlight ♪ 2255 01:46:59,497 --> 01:47:02,329 ♪ In those rare moments You and I were brilliant ♪ 2256 01:47:02,399 --> 01:47:04,167 ♪ We were gonna be all right ♪ 2257 01:47:06,868 --> 01:47:10,204 ♪ God I loved those days We couldn't get out of bed ♪ 2258 01:47:13,410 --> 01:47:17,212 ♪ With your taste in my mouth Or your words in my head ♪ 2259 01:47:17,548 --> 01:47:20,382 ♪ And now I wanna Hear it again ♪ 2260 01:47:21,717 --> 01:47:24,251 ♪ Expect that we're caught In a love song ♪ 2261 01:47:24,521 --> 01:47:27,389 ♪ So loud, oh, yeah ♪ 2262 01:47:28,560 --> 01:47:30,760 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2263 01:47:31,094 --> 01:47:34,030 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2264 01:47:35,164 --> 01:47:37,600 ♪ So say that I really need you ♪ 2265 01:47:37,968 --> 01:47:40,836 ♪ So bad, oh, yeah ♪ 2266 01:47:42,106 --> 01:47:44,507 ♪ No, not so typical Love song ♪ 2267 01:47:44,742 --> 01:47:47,376 ♪ 'Cause it hurt us Again and again ♪ 2268 01:47:47,809 --> 01:47:54,982 (instrumental music playing) 165359