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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:45,590 Euro Trip 2 00:02:04,650 --> 00:02:07,670 3 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:47,960 Congratulations, Hudson High Class of 2004. 4 00:02:48,030 --> 00:02:50,030 5 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,980 There she is. Fiona! 6 00:03:08,220 --> 00:03:10,320 Bye. 7 00:03:10,380 --> 00:03:11,720 - Hey. - Hey. - Hey! 8 00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:13,900 - Hey, you. 9 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,390 - Congratulations, graduate. - Thanks, baby. 10 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,230 And congratulations to you, Cooper. 11 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,030 Aww. Thanks, baby! 12 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,250 - Nice try. 13 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,250 - All right. - See you at Wade's party tonight? 14 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,920 - See you then. Alright 15 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,090 So, it's just you and me for the entire summer. 16 00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,380 Next year you graduate, join me at college. 17 00:03:36,430 --> 00:03:37,760 Just like we planned. 18 00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:41,250 - Scott, we need to talk. - Yeah? About what? 19 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,680 About me dumping you. 20 00:03:43,750 --> 00:03:44,920 Huh? 21 00:03:44,970 --> 00:03:46,300 There he is! 22 00:03:46,390 --> 00:03:50,110 The graduate and his beautiful girlfriend. OK? 23 00:03:50,190 --> 00:03:52,860 Smile, you two! 24 00:03:52,930 --> 00:03:56,030 - Action! - Dad, Mom, Grandma... 25 00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,930 Uncle Moke... uh... 26 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,320 I'm gonna need a minute here, OK? 27 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,370 What do you mean, you're dumping me? 28 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:03,950 I just can't take all the 29 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,460 lying and cheating on each other anymore. 30 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,410 What are you talking about? Sweetie, I never cheated on you. 31 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,550 I know. That's what makes this so hard. 32 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:13,380 You're looking good, you guys. 33 00:04:13,450 --> 00:04:15,630 Scotty, it's not you. 34 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,880 It's me. 35 00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:22,220 There I go, lying again. No, it was you. 36 00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,390 You're just so... 37 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:26,760 ...predictable. - Smile! 38 00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:29,680 So, that's it. 39 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,570 Here's your letter jacket back. 40 00:04:31,630 --> 00:04:33,150 Goodbye. 41 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:35,990 This isn't mine. 42 00:04:39,490 --> 00:04:43,160 She's a keeper, huh? Oh, wow. 43 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:45,360 Oh, my God. 44 00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:49,030 Fiona! 45 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,580 46 00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:57,540 Let's see that again. 47 00:05:00,510 --> 00:05:01,960 Fiona! 48 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,660 - This is just so brutal. 49 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,050 And yet I can't look away. Bert, play it again. Come on. 50 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,270 - Fiona! - Bert, get out of here. 51 00:05:12,340 --> 00:05:14,470 OK.See you. 52 00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:17,340 All right. Stay black, Bert. 53 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,350 "Fiona!" 54 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,400 Mail, motherfucker! 55 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,320 Hey, I got one from Mieke. 56 00:05:27,790 --> 00:05:29,570 "Happy Herzlichen." 57 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,910 Still writing that guy? I thought that was for German class. 58 00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:36,080 Yeah at first, but we're actually becoming good friends. 59 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,220 He's a really cool guy. 60 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:43,720 "Dear Mieke, greetings from your American pen pal." 61 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,370 Scotty, Girl Scouts have pen pals. 62 00:05:46,420 --> 00:05:48,560 Listen to yourself, all right? 63 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,710 You met a "cool guy" on the "internet." 64 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,980 This is how these sexual predators work. 65 00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:56,900 Next thing you know, he'll want to "arrange a meeting" 66 00:05:56,980 --> 00:06:00,100 where he will gas you, stuff you in the back of his van, 67 00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,060 and make a wind chime out of your genitals. 68 00:06:02,110 --> 00:06:05,080 Come on, let's go to Wade's. 69 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,940 All right. Screw it. Let's go. 70 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:09,830 I'm not gonna let Fiona ruin my graduation night. 71 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,830 Auf wiedersehen, Mieke. 72 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,730 73 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,340 74 00:06:26,410 --> 00:06:28,220 - What's up, losers? - What's up, Jenny? 75 00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:29,550 What's up, dude? 76 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,720 Sorry to hear about Fiona. She's a whore. 77 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,690 That's very sweet of you. Thanks. 78 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,260 Enough Fiona talk. 79 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:37,470 Look around. There's gotta be 100 drunk girls. 80 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,480 We should try to have sex with every one of 'em. 81 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,700 Hello? Mixed company? 82 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,230 What? 83 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,150 - I'm a girl! - No, you're not. 84 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,900 - You're just a cool guy with long hair. 85 00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:48,990 - So, where's your evil twin brother? 86 00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,950 Jenny! 87 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,490 There he is. 88 00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:55,880 Hey, Jamie. In fine form, I see. 89 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:59,280 Why'd you get me gin and tonic? 90 00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,970 - I hate gin. - You do? 91 00:07:02,050 --> 00:07:04,840 You guys are the worst twins ever! 92 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,950 93 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,260 Chug! Chug! 94 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:12,060 95 00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:14,510 - When are you guys taking off? - Tomorrow morning. 96 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,560 Hey, Wade! Great party, buddy. 97 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:19,270 98 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,130 Man, I am so excited! 99 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:23,650 A whole summer, backpacking around Europe. 100 00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,190 You should've come with us 101 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,610 instead of working for Dr. Dad, Scotty! 102 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:29,910 It's gonna be so awesome! 103 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:35,370 Yeah. I planned every detail of the trip to maximize the fun! 104 00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:37,500 You brought a guidebook to a party? 105 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:40,650 - Do you wanna see my itinerary? - Do you wanna see my balls? 106 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:44,210 You guys decide where you're gonna go first? 107 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,960 Paris! I can't wait. 108 00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:48,330 Two years ago Nicky Jager's sister, Debbie 109 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,800 met a wealthy French guy, 110 00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:52,800 and spent a month sailing the Mediterranean on his yacht. 111 00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:55,850 Isn't that the most romantic thing you've ever heard? 112 00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:58,690 Stuck on a boat with a weird French guy? 113 00:08:00,190 --> 00:08:01,560 That sounds a little gay. 114 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:04,860 It's not gay. I'm a girl. 115 00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:06,700 - Kinda gay. - A little gay. 116 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,780 I gotta piss like a pregnant woman. 117 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:12,650 118 00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,540 Hey, listen up, everybody. 119 00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:18,120 Gotta a little special thing I'd like to do tonight. 120 00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,660 Going to play a little song for you 121 00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:25,050 about the nastiest, freakiest little sex puppet I know... 122 00:08:26,470 --> 00:08:27,870 Fiona. 123 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,750 124 00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,930 This one's for you, baby. Happy anniversary. 125 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:39,760 126 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,850 " Scotty doesn't know That Fiona and me 127 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:48,570 " Do it in my van every Sunday 128 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,360 " She tells him she's in church But she doesn't go 129 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:54,490 " Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know 130 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,670 " Oh, Scotty doesn't know 131 00:08:58,730 --> 00:09:01,590 " So don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know 132 00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:02,920 " Scotty doesn't know " 133 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,570 I hope we're just as popular in college 134 00:09:05,620 --> 00:09:07,240 as we were in high school. 135 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,960 - We will be. - I know. 136 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,080 Who needs more Chablis? 137 00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,220 - Candy, wanna come with? - No, I'll stay here. 138 00:09:16,270 --> 00:09:18,270 Hello Candy! 139 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,550 140 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,920 - Whoops! 141 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,780 Holy cow! 142 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:28,480 Oh, this isn't where I parked my car! 143 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:32,870 " I can't believe He's so trusting 144 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,540 " While I'm right behind you thrusting 145 00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:41,320 " 'Cause Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " 146 00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,210 Cooper Harris, you're a pig! 147 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,300 Uh... Candy, before you go 148 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:47,300 you might wanna clean that off 149 00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:50,120 Clean what off? 150 00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:53,340 It's like a dirt or something... just go like this... 151 00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:59,980 No... It's kind of under... and to the side 152 00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,230 under 153 00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,300 Is this off? 154 00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:07,400 I think that your top is getting in the way 155 00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:11,350 Really? Trust me 156 00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:22,980 That's better... Keep rubbing it 157 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:31,510 " I did it with her on his birthday 158 00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:35,330 " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know 159 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:38,520 " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know 160 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,100 " Don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know " 161 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,360 Mmm-hmm... mmm-hmm... 162 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,170 No, it's just not coming off. 163 00:10:49,530 --> 00:10:51,010 What is it? 164 00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:53,610 - Fine, I'll do it. Come here. 165 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,370 Oh, my God! Candy! 166 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,150 Cooper! 167 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:02,120 Hey... 168 00:11:02,190 --> 00:11:05,190 This isn't where I parked my car. 169 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,410 170 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,630 " Scotty doesn't know 171 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:10,410 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 172 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,370 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 173 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,220 Hey 174 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:23,710 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 175 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,710 This band rocks! 176 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,710 - Yeah! 177 00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:31,230 178 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,410 Mail, motherfucker! 179 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,130 Hey, Mieke. 180 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:03,630 Hey, Mieke. 181 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,470 "I was very sad 182 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,220 to hear about your lady woman Fiona dumping you. 183 00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,360 "Since you no longer have a girlfriend, 184 00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:11,940 maybe I could come to America 185 00:12:12,030 --> 00:12:13,940 "and we could get to know each other better. 186 00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:16,600 Perhaps we could... 187 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,770 "Zussamen." 188 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:21,930 What the fuck is "zussamen"? 189 00:12:28,740 --> 00:12:30,280 "Arrange a meeting." 190 00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:33,250 No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right. 191 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,420 This guy wants to have sex with me 192 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,120 "Listen, Mieke... 193 00:12:39,170 --> 00:12:41,890 "I don't want to arrange any meetings with you, 194 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,620 "you sick, German freak. 195 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,980 "So please keep your hands off my genitals, 196 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,100 "and never write to me again, 197 00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:52,130 and don't come to America." 198 00:12:52,650 --> 00:12:54,470 "Goodbye." 199 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,820 200 00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,820 Oww. 201 00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:00,870 202 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,460 203 00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:18,170 I'm never drinking again. Oh, that's nice. 204 00:13:18,260 --> 00:13:20,260 205 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,460 Bert, what are you doing? 206 00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:25,180 Reading your email. 207 00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:27,270 Don't do that. 208 00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,820 Why are you wearing my bathrobe? 209 00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,860 Oh, I'm sorry... 210 00:13:32,940 --> 00:13:36,360 but somebody pissed all over mine last night. 211 00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:40,530 Wow. I can't believe this German chick 212 00:13:40,610 --> 00:13:42,580 wants to come here and hook up with you. 213 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,150 I don't think so, buddy. Mieke's a guy. 214 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,650 No, it says right here, 215 00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,200 "Trauriges m dchen." 216 00:13:48,290 --> 00:13:50,920 "I was a sad girl to hear about Fiona." 217 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:54,930 I'm taking "Intro to German," and even I know that. 218 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,260 Come here. 219 00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:58,500 He sent me a picture, retardo. 220 00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:02,340 See? That's a picture of Mieke and his cute cousin, Jan. 221 00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:04,050 No, retardo. 222 00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:06,560 That's Jan, a man's name, 223 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,020 and that's not "Mike," 224 00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:10,980 it's "Mieke," a common German girl's name, 225 00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:12,860 similar to our Michelle. 226 00:14:12,950 --> 00:14:16,530 I hope you wrote her back and told her to come visit. 227 00:14:18,690 --> 00:14:20,200 You didn't? 228 00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,540 You thought she was a guy! 229 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:25,710 I'm getting the video camera! Ha! 230 00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,530 What an asshole! 231 00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:30,160 No. 232 00:14:30,210 --> 00:14:31,410 No. 233 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,700 No. 234 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:40,220 235 00:15:04,950 --> 00:15:07,920 "Address blocked"? "Email not delivered." 236 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,120 No... come on!! 237 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:13,420 Hey, Mom made waffles. 238 00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:16,960 - What's going on? - I'm in love with my penpal. 239 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,960 I'm in love with Mieke. 240 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,050 OK... OK. 241 00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:28,140 You know what? I was actually expecting this. 242 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:29,420 And frankly.. No listen... 243 00:15:29,790 --> 00:15:32,140 I'm flattered that you picked me to come out to first. 244 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:35,400 And don't worry about telling your folks, 'cause... 245 00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:38,360 - I think they already know. - No, you idiot. Mike is a girl. 246 00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,870 No, no, I get it. Yeah. 247 00:15:39,930 --> 00:15:41,780 He's the girl, and you're the girl, 248 00:15:41,870 --> 00:15:44,700 and sometimes you're both the girl. 249 00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:46,490 Right? 250 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,940 Right? That's hot. 251 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:52,300 But you know... whatever works for you. I'm not gonna judge it. 252 00:15:52,380 --> 00:15:55,500 Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture. 253 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,620 Wow. Who's the hot chick? 254 00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,790 That's "Mike." I mean, Mieke. 255 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,810 That's Mieke? That's who you've been writing to all this time? 256 00:16:04,890 --> 00:16:07,010 No! Until last night, when I took your advice 257 00:16:07,090 --> 00:16:09,850 and told her to keep her "hands off my genitals." 258 00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:13,730 Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want. 259 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:16,440 260 00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:18,190 This is a total disaster. 261 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,320 Oh, come on. It's not that bad. 262 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,810 Though she is really hot. 263 00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:26,160 You're not listening. I don't even care what she looks like. 264 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,530 Mieke and I had this incredible bond. 265 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,780 I told her things I couldn't even tell you. 266 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,750 Like what? 267 00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,870 - Nothing. It's a figure of speech. 268 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,790 - No, seriously. What? - Nothing. The point... 269 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:40,760 - You like me better, right? Would ya stop.. listen 270 00:16:40,830 --> 00:16:45,093 This girl is not only smart and funny, and stunningly beautiful, 271 00:16:45,094 --> 00:16:45,160 but 272 00:16:45,220 --> 00:16:47,220 until I screwed up, she actually wanted to 273 00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,470 to come all the way to America just to be with me. 274 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,670 - So do something about it. - What can I do? 275 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,110 She blocked her email account, her phone number's not listed. 276 00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,280 The only thing I know is she lives in Berlin. 277 00:16:58,350 --> 00:16:59,810 So go to Berlin. 278 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,650 I can't just go to Berlin, Coop. 279 00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:05,790 - Why not? - Because... 280 00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,790 I just can't, OK? 281 00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,570 I'm supposed to work for my dad this summer. 282 00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:11,960 It looks good on my med school application. 283 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:13,880 Oh, Jesus, Scotty! 284 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,050 Man, Fiona was right. You're so predictable. 285 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:29,040 - I'm going to Germany. - No... 286 00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,480 We're going to Germany. 287 00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:41,100 How are we going to get to Germany? 288 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,720 Don't worry. I've got it covered. 289 00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,530 - We're going to be couriers? 290 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,330 - Best way to get a cheap flight. 291 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,250 All we have to carry their packages, then 292 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,000 drop them off when we get there. 293 00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,670 - My cousin did it going to India. 294 00:17:54,730 --> 00:17:56,040 - Yeah? - Yeah. 295 00:17:56,090 --> 00:17:59,590 Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi 296 00:17:59,670 --> 00:18:03,130 and they had to cut off his leg. You know... 297 00:18:03,210 --> 00:18:05,930 but he got there cheap, is what I'm saying. 298 00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:09,220 OK, I don't have anything to Germany for a week. 299 00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:13,420 But I can get you both to London today for $118. 300 00:18:13,470 --> 00:18:16,110 Anything else? Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall. 301 00:18:16,190 --> 00:18:18,270 We can walk to Berlin from there. 302 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,690 - Cooper, England's an island. 303 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,780 - OK, swim. Whatever. 304 00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,310 We'll take it. 305 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,610 Hey. 306 00:18:41,670 --> 00:18:43,300 Thanks for coming with me. 307 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,620 I know you had that internship at the law firm this summer. 308 00:18:45,670 --> 00:18:48,050 Well, forget about the law firm. 309 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:51,840 And don't thank me. I should be thanking you. 310 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:54,890 This trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me 311 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,900 to broaden my sexual horizons. 312 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,400 What are you talking about? 313 00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:01,730 I'm talking about crazy European sex. 314 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,270 Ah. 315 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:07,360 You know America was founded by prudes. bởi những người đàn bà đoan trang. 316 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,940 Prudes who left Europe, because they hated 317 00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:14,200 it all the kinky, steamy European sex that was going on. 318 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:17,820 And now I, Cooper Harris, 319 00:19:17,870 --> 00:19:20,950 will return to the land of my perverted forefathers 320 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,660 and claim my birthright, which is a 321 00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:28,330 series of erotic and sexually challenging adventures. 322 00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:33,350 You've really thought a lot about this, haven't you? 323 00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:35,180 It's my passion. 324 00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:40,390 325 00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:51,780 Come on, come on! 326 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,520 - The adventure begins. 327 00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,370 - Welcome to jolly old England. 328 00:19:58,460 --> 00:20:01,990 Yeah, breathe that sweet, sexy, European air. 329 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,580 330 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,000 - Oh. - What is that? 331 00:20:05,050 --> 00:20:07,630 It's the phone they gave me at the law firm. 332 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,340 Yeah, it's pretty neat, huh? 333 00:20:09,390 --> 00:20:11,090 - Works anywhere. - Yeah? 334 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,870 Excuse me. 335 00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:15,810 Cooper here. 336 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:17,810 Hello, Mr. Walters. 337 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:21,010 Yes, sir, I'm down in file storage. 338 00:20:21,060 --> 00:20:22,900 Um, hang on one second. 339 00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:31,240 No, sir, I can't find the Gutterman file anywhere. 340 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,990 Yes, sir, I'll keep looking. 341 00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:34,890 I don't rest until I find it. 342 00:20:36,230 --> 00:20:38,330 Didn't tell your boss you were leaving the country? 343 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,830 They would've stopped paying me. It seemed easier. 344 00:20:41,900 --> 00:20:44,200 - So, where to? - I don't know. 345 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:46,290 First bus to Berlin doesn't leave till tomorrow. 346 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,710 What do you wanna do? Got the Tower of London... 347 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,240 there's Buckingham Palace. 348 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:53,430 - Uh... - There's no drinking age. 349 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,380 Đi thôi! Khẩn trương nào. 350 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:59,550 - Hey!"The Fiesty Goat." 351 00:21:01,590 --> 00:21:03,520 352 00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:04,920 All right! 353 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,810 What do you wanna... 354 00:21:17,490 --> 00:21:20,710 Soccer hooligans. 355 00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,160 356 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:26,750 Hey, this isn't where I parked my car! 357 00:21:27,780 --> 00:21:29,080 Oy! 358 00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:32,280 Who the bloody hell are you? 359 00:21:33,420 --> 00:21:35,170 This is a private members bar, 360 00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:37,720 exclusively for the supporters 361 00:21:37,790 --> 00:21:40,640 of the greatest football team in the world... 362 00:21:40,730 --> 00:21:43,300 Manchester United. 363 00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:46,570 Now please, enlighten me. 364 00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:48,150 Who the fuck are you?! 365 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,970 That is a good question, 366 00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,150 and... Scotty? 367 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,810 Huh? 368 00:21:56,360 --> 00:22:00,310 We're the Manchester United fan club... 369 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,150 from Ohio. 370 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,950 If you're Manchester United supporters... 371 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,700 sing the Manchester United song. 372 00:22:07,790 --> 00:22:09,540 Excuse me, I'm sorry. 373 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,170 I'm not much of a singer... 374 00:22:11,260 --> 00:22:14,180 - Sing!! " My baby takes 375 00:22:14,260 --> 00:22:16,330 ♪ " The morning train ♪ 376 00:22:16,380 --> 00:22:21,600 ♪ " He works from 9 to 5 and then he ♪ 377 00:22:21,670 --> 00:22:25,470 ♪ " takes another home again ♪ 378 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,940 ♪ " To find me... ♪ 379 00:22:29,310 --> 00:22:33,230 ♪ " watching the Manchester United football team! " ♪ 380 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,850 Eh? 381 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:39,400 The best freakin' team in all the land! Whoo-hoo! 382 00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:47,380 Pretty good. 383 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:49,710 - Pretty dang good, lads! - Yeah! 384 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,500 385 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:53,880 386 00:22:53,970 --> 00:22:55,050 387 00:22:57,220 --> 00:23:01,640 ♪ " My baby takes the morning train ♪ 388 00:23:01,710 --> 00:23:05,760 ♪ " He works from 9 to 5 and then ♪ 389 00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:09,400 ♪ " He takes another home again ♪ 390 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,270 ♪ " To find me waiting for him ♪ 391 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:17,860 ♪ " He's always on that morning train " ♪ 392 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,780 I've unblocked your email address, 393 00:23:22,860 --> 00:23:25,830 but this Scott is not responding. 394 00:23:27,870 --> 00:23:30,090 He was the one. 395 00:23:32,070 --> 00:23:34,340 I was going to give myself to him. 396 00:23:35,590 --> 00:23:38,380 Perhaps you should give yourself to someone else... 397 00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:43,580 Frulein. 398 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:52,810 399 00:24:04,290 --> 00:24:06,770 I'm never drinking again. 400 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,410 Coop, wake up. 401 00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:11,130 Oh, man, that was a wild night. 402 00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,460 You think? 403 00:24:15,550 --> 00:24:18,800 404 00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:25,170 Scotty, where the hell are we going? 405 00:24:25,260 --> 00:24:27,590 Don't worry. If anything bad happens 406 00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,180 my parents will find us. 407 00:24:29,260 --> 00:24:32,260 Honey, where's Scotty? 408 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,270 - Cooper said they were going camping. 409 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,270 - Oh, that's nice. 410 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,140 And where's Bert? 411 00:24:39,190 --> 00:24:41,490 Fuck if I know. 412 00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:45,310 413 00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,530 414 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,170 Hey! How are you, you scalawag! 415 00:24:55,260 --> 00:24:57,710 Look, given the current geopolitical climate, 416 00:24:57,790 --> 00:25:00,880 all European countries should have a seat at the table. 417 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,500 - Right. - Except those fucking Ities. 418 00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:05,830 I hate them Italian bastards. 419 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,830 - You know what I mean? - 420 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,270 Hello, boyo! 421 00:25:09,340 --> 00:25:11,100 - What the hell happened last night? 422 00:25:11,170 --> 00:25:13,560 - You got steamed up, pissed as a fart. . 423 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,390 Too much sauce, son. 424 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:16,730 Don't worry. 425 00:25:16,810 --> 00:25:19,680 We come and got ya, so you wouldn't miss the trip. 426 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:21,560 What trip? 427 00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:23,180 - Where are we going? 428 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:24,900 - What do you mean, where are we going? 429 00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:28,040 We're going to see the Mighty Reds do the frogs in Paris. 430 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,020 Aren't we, boys? 431 00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:31,790 Yeah! 432 00:25:31,860 --> 00:25:33,530 Why are you yelling at me? 433 00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:36,190 So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it 434 00:25:36,250 --> 00:25:39,050 before I give her a trunky in the tradesman's entrance 435 00:25:39,130 --> 00:25:41,530 and have her lick me yardballs! 436 00:25:43,540 --> 00:25:45,200 Wow. 437 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:48,310 You guys are on a completely different level of swearing over here. 438 00:25:48,370 --> 00:25:51,390 Coop? Cooper, we're going to Paris. 439 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,400 I know. Cecil told me. 440 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,050 Mieke's in Berlin. We're not going to Berlin. 441 00:25:56,100 --> 00:25:57,770 What are we gonna do? We need a plan. 442 00:25:57,850 --> 00:26:01,550 See what I'm talking about? This is predictable Scotty talking. 443 00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:04,520 Relax. Paris is practically a suburb of Berlin. 444 00:26:04,770 --> 00:26:06,410 It's a nothing commute. 445 00:26:06,490 --> 00:26:08,830 That's why France and Germany have always been allies. 446 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,110 Allies 447 00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,070 The twins. The twins are in Paris, right? 448 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:18,340 We give 'em a call. They could help us out. Let me see your phone. I'll give 'em a call 449 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,590 Alright, but I'm only supposed to use this for business calls. 450 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,460 Hey, don't... 451 00:26:25,850 --> 00:26:27,510 452 00:26:27,580 --> 00:26:30,130 453 00:26:37,310 --> 00:26:39,390 454 00:26:40,810 --> 00:26:42,780 You're on the wrong side of the road, 455 00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:44,760 you snail-eating puffs. 456 00:26:44,810 --> 00:26:48,820 Fuck off! Go on, you Gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers! 457 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:51,100 Piss off! Get in here and say that, 458 00:26:51,150 --> 00:26:53,490 you froggy Itie shities! 459 00:26:56,330 --> 00:26:58,790 - Fucking beep! 460 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,950 We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! 461 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,050 Get out of the way! Piss off! 462 00:27:12,060 --> 00:27:13,340 Hey, lads! 463 00:27:13,430 --> 00:27:16,060 That wanker's got a frog football shirt on! 464 00:27:16,130 --> 00:27:18,400 Let's give this nancy a fucking good kicking! 465 00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:21,020 Come on, lads, he's going off! 466 00:27:21,100 --> 00:27:23,650 467 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,030 All right. Twins said they'd meet us here. 468 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,040 Look at that! 469 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,920 There they are. Come on. Jenny! 470 00:27:41,990 --> 00:27:44,320 - Jamie! - Hey! 471 00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:45,320 Come here! 472 00:27:45,380 --> 00:27:46,490 No, no. No, no, no! 473 00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:49,130 - Scott, bienvenu a Paris. - Thank you. 474 00:27:49,180 --> 00:27:51,830 - What is that? A new camera? - It isn't just a camera, 475 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,830 This is a Leica M7. 476 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,000 Uber-sensitive exposure settings, 477 00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,840 legendary cloth shutter system. 478 00:27:57,890 --> 00:28:00,560 - Let me see that thing. - No can do. 479 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,680 I spent four years tutoring lacrosse players to pay for it, 480 00:28:03,730 --> 00:28:06,700 so nobody touches my camera but me. 481 00:28:06,780 --> 00:28:08,980 - It's like your wiener. - No, it's not... 482 00:28:09,030 --> 00:28:11,230 - Jenny... - Cooper, leave him alone. 483 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,790 Wow, I can't believe you came all the way to Europe for a girl. 484 00:28:14,850 --> 00:28:16,570 Wait, not just any girl. 485 00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:18,360 Show her the picture, Scotty. 486 00:28:18,410 --> 00:28:21,130 She makes girls in our high school look like walruses. 487 00:28:21,190 --> 00:28:23,360 I'm a girl from your high school. 488 00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:24,860 No, I mean "girl" girls. 489 00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,750 Guys, we're wasting the whole day here. We're in Paris! 490 00:28:27,830 --> 00:28:29,200 Hãy tới Viện bảo tàng Louvre! 491 00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:31,170 To the Louvre! 492 00:29:05,670 --> 00:29:07,290 So, you guys wanna stay here, 493 00:29:07,370 --> 00:29:10,410 should we check out the huge line at the Eiffel Tower? 494 00:29:10,460 --> 00:29:11,910 Here's a fun fact. Voltaire 495 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,410 contracted syphilis two blocks from here. 496 00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:16,630 - Should we go? - Can we please get out of here? 497 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,920 - This guy's really creeping me out. - Who, robot man? 498 00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:22,770 He's just trying to feed his robot family. 499 00:29:22,860 --> 00:29:25,110 - I really don't like him. - Why? 500 00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:28,430 Because he's doing this? 501 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,310 OK, seriously, don't do that. 502 00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,700 Cooper. Do not hate me. 503 00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:37,570 I am familiar with over 600 dance moves 504 00:29:37,620 --> 00:29:39,770 and I am programmed to get... 505 00:29:39,820 --> 00:29:42,270 506 00:29:43,830 --> 00:29:46,040 freaky. 507 00:29:48,610 --> 00:29:49,630 508 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,080 509 00:29:57,790 --> 00:30:00,390 You're just upset because people like me better. 510 00:30:00,460 --> 00:30:01,390 It's okay. 511 00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:02,460 512 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,680 513 00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,200 Oh! 514 00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:34,630 515 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,800 Fight! Fight! 516 00:30:47,110 --> 00:30:49,470 Break the leg shot! 517 00:30:57,230 --> 00:30:58,980 518 00:30:59,690 --> 00:31:01,120 Ha! Ha! Ha! 519 00:31:06,130 --> 00:31:08,240 Don't look in his eyes, Scotty. 520 00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:16,130 - Ohhh! - That was not cool. 521 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,140 Ha! Ha! Ha! 522 00:31:23,210 --> 00:31:24,380 523 00:31:24,430 --> 00:31:27,760 524 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,990 Arghhhhh! 525 00:31:41,490 --> 00:31:44,110 Oh! 526 00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:49,030 Guys, let's go. Come on. 527 00:31:49,090 --> 00:31:50,420 528 00:31:53,010 --> 00:31:56,430 Error! Error! Error! 529 00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:59,260 How cool is this? 530 00:31:59,350 --> 00:32:02,080 It's a shame we only get to spend one day together. 531 00:32:02,130 --> 00:32:04,600 Why don't you come to Berlin? - Umm, no. 532 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,800 Jamie, come on. In a few months, we go to different colleges. 533 00:32:07,890 --> 00:32:11,810 This could be the last chance the four of us are together like this. 534 00:32:11,890 --> 00:32:13,760 Plus, we're in Europe. Huh? 535 00:32:13,810 --> 00:32:15,940 This should be the trip of a lifetime. 536 00:32:16,030 --> 00:32:18,150 There's no way we should split up. 537 00:32:18,230 --> 00:32:21,870 All right, this table is now Europe, OK? 538 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,200 Excuse me. 539 00:32:24,270 --> 00:32:27,540 We are right here, in Paris, 540 00:32:27,610 --> 00:32:29,790 and I have got to get to Mieke, 541 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,290 who is over here, in Berlin. 542 00:32:32,380 --> 00:32:34,330 And Jamie...If you come with us, I'm sure there's a 543 00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:36,630 ton of great stuffs that you could see along the way. 544 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:40,550 - We can go to Denmark. - I love Denmark. 545 00:32:40,620 --> 00:32:43,140 - We gotta hit Amsterdam. - Definitely. 546 00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:46,140 And the cathedral at Cameret! 547 00:32:47,340 --> 00:32:49,310 - Yeah... - Maybe. We'll see. 548 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,850 - Whatever. - If there's time. 549 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,970 Come on! I really want you to be there when I meet Mieke. 550 00:32:56,020 --> 00:32:57,940 Fine. 551 00:32:57,990 --> 00:32:59,660 - Excellent! - All right! 552 00:32:59,740 --> 00:33:02,810 - A toast! - Yes! 553 00:33:02,860 --> 00:33:04,990 - To Mieke! - To Europe! 554 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,500 To Europe! 555 00:33:06,580 --> 00:33:08,250 Merci. 556 00:33:09,530 --> 00:33:12,250 - Berlin, here we come! - All right. 557 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:13,920 you better let me hold onto those. 558 00:33:18,590 --> 00:33:21,930 - What the hell is that? - It's a traveler's money belt. 559 00:33:21,990 --> 00:33:24,300 Frommer's says if you have one of these, 560 00:33:24,350 --> 00:33:26,100 no one can rob you of anything. 561 00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,680 Except your dignity. 562 00:33:27,770 --> 00:33:30,340 No, you just put that in your... 563 00:33:30,390 --> 00:33:31,720 wait, what? 564 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,220 Come on, guidebook. Let's go. 565 00:33:36,810 --> 00:33:38,280 Check it out. 566 00:33:38,340 --> 00:33:40,860 European ass. 567 00:33:42,850 --> 00:33:44,530 What's up? 568 00:33:47,350 --> 00:33:50,740 Jesus, Jenny. I thought you were some... 569 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:53,460 girl. Come on. Platform 4. 570 00:33:53,530 --> 00:33:55,660 Thanks. 571 00:33:57,030 --> 00:33:58,250 Damn! 572 00:34:02,030 --> 00:34:04,090 I believe this is yours. 573 00:34:07,370 --> 00:34:09,420 Pleased to meet you. 574 00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:11,060 My name is Christoph. 575 00:34:11,140 --> 00:34:13,930 - Jenny, let's go! - Move it! 576 00:34:14,010 --> 00:34:17,320 Those are my friends. We're supposed to go to Berlin... 577 00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:19,600 - Jenny! - I'm coming!! 578 00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,110 So, it was really nice to meet you. 579 00:34:23,190 --> 00:34:25,110 The pleasure was all mine... 580 00:34:26,740 --> 00:34:28,660 Jennifer. 581 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:43,180 582 00:34:51,550 --> 00:34:57,310 583 00:35:12,490 --> 00:35:15,120 " Scotty doesn't know That Fiona and me " 584 00:35:15,210 --> 00:35:18,130 " Do it in my van on Sundays " 585 00:35:18,210 --> 00:35:20,630 " Tells him she's... " What? 586 00:35:20,710 --> 00:35:24,170 You gotta admit, it's a really catchy tune. 587 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:29,550 " Tells him she's in church But she doesn't go " 588 00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:33,010 " Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know " 589 00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:34,640 " Scotty doesn't know " 590 00:35:34,730 --> 00:35:37,760 - " Scotty doesn't... " - Buongiorno. 591 00:35:41,150 --> 00:35:43,970 Buongiorno. 592 00:35:50,530 --> 00:35:53,700 You know, there are a lot of other empty compartments. 593 00:35:53,780 --> 00:35:55,330 Huh? 594 00:35:55,410 --> 00:35:57,530 Ah! Si... 595 00:35:57,620 --> 00:35:59,200 Si. 596 00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:33,550 Pardon me. 597 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,750 Eh? 598 00:36:35,970 --> 00:36:37,720 Ohhh... 599 00:36:37,770 --> 00:36:39,270 Scusi. 600 00:36:40,230 --> 00:36:42,310 Mi scusi. 601 00:36:47,430 --> 00:36:48,900 602 00:37:06,590 --> 00:37:08,120 Hi. 603 00:37:08,170 --> 00:37:09,840 Buongiorno. 604 00:37:21,430 --> 00:37:25,150 - What the hell are you doing? - Mi scusi, mi scusi. 605 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:26,570 No! No, no, no! 606 00:37:29,140 --> 00:37:30,740 - Uh-oh. - What? 607 00:37:30,810 --> 00:37:31,830 Big tunnel. 608 00:37:35,310 --> 00:37:39,000 Who's touching me? Scotty, is that you? 609 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:40,950 Ai sờ mó tao thế?! Scotty! 610 00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:50,050 Oh! 611 00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:51,930 Mi Scusi. 612 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,980 Crans Sur Mer. We change trains here. 613 00:38:11,780 --> 00:38:14,450 Well, we got a couple of hours to kill. 614 00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,200 What's there to see in this town? 615 00:38:16,290 --> 00:38:19,360 Hello? The Monument des Poissonieres. 616 00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:22,690 It's a monument to all the local fishermen who were lost at sea. 617 00:38:22,750 --> 00:38:25,880 Frommer's says it's supposed to be..."quite moving." 618 00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:28,800 What the hell is wrong with you, C-3PO? 619 00:38:28,870 --> 00:38:31,700 We're here to see Europe, not some crappy statue. 620 00:38:31,750 --> 00:38:33,760 I'm taking a nap. 621 00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,890 Wake me up when the train gets here. 622 00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:39,140 Hmm. Says here this town has a famous nude beach. 623 00:38:39,210 --> 00:38:41,760 All right, we can't all just lie around all day. 624 00:38:41,850 --> 00:38:44,650 We gotta get out there and experience the culture firsthand. 625 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:47,100 Let's go exploring! 626 00:38:49,740 --> 00:38:52,190 So, what's the etiquette on boners? 627 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,110 Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it, 628 00:38:54,190 --> 00:38:57,250 or is it cool to just let my flag fly? 629 00:38:57,330 --> 00:38:59,830 Wait, wait. 630 00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,450 Does "nude beach" mean we have to get naked, too? 631 00:39:02,540 --> 00:39:04,240 Of course. 632 00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:05,700 Do you think you can go an hour 633 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,910 without your currency colostomy bag? 634 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,180 Hey! Hey! As long as this thing has our money and passports in it, 635 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,850 it's not coming off, and my trunks won't come off, either. 636 00:39:14,910 --> 00:39:16,180 Come on, Jamie 637 00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:18,420 You came all the way to Europe. 638 00:39:18,470 --> 00:39:20,300 Can't wimp out now. 639 00:39:22,420 --> 00:39:23,520 OK. 640 00:39:23,590 --> 00:39:25,360 All right, on the count of three. 641 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:26,520 Here we go. 642 00:39:26,590 --> 00:39:28,190 3,2,1... 643 00:39:28,260 --> 00:39:31,060 Look at Jamie's penis! 644 00:39:31,110 --> 00:39:32,950 Very funny. Very funny. 645 00:39:33,030 --> 00:39:34,270 All right. 646 00:39:35,950 --> 00:39:38,940 Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin. 647 00:39:38,990 --> 00:39:39,990 - Here we go. - Really? 648 00:39:40,070 --> 00:39:41,540 - Yes. - Mm-hmm. 649 00:39:44,810 --> 00:39:48,210 - Hello, ladies! 650 00:39:53,420 --> 00:39:56,500 - Ladies? - Bitches? 651 00:39:56,590 --> 00:39:59,560 Eww! What a rip! There's no nude girls here, 652 00:39:59,630 --> 00:40:01,760 Just guys like us looking for nude girls. 653 00:40:01,810 --> 00:40:04,060 I don't understand. 654 00:40:04,130 --> 00:40:07,400 "Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent. 655 00:40:07,470 --> 00:40:08,970 "However... 656 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,160 "during the summer, the European women 657 00:40:14,240 --> 00:40:16,490 "are chased away by gawking male tourists, 658 00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,830 "so Europe's most nubile exhibitionists 659 00:40:18,910 --> 00:40:20,610 head to the deserted beach 660 00:40:20,660 --> 00:40:23,000 " right next to the Monument des Poissonieres." 661 00:40:25,820 --> 00:40:28,150 662 00:40:39,130 --> 00:40:42,000 There's so many penises. 663 00:40:42,050 --> 00:40:45,520 Frommer's tried to tell you, but you just didn't listen. 664 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,860 This is the biggest sausage fest on earth. 665 00:40:47,940 --> 00:40:50,440 It's the international house of sausage. 666 00:40:50,510 --> 00:40:51,860 Hey! 667 00:40:53,530 --> 00:40:56,730 - Thanks for waiting. - You're not missing anything. 668 00:40:56,820 --> 00:40:58,280 It's all guys. 669 00:40:58,350 --> 00:41:01,290 At least the sun's out. 670 00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:05,910 671 00:41:05,990 --> 00:41:08,410 ♪ Dreams come true ♪ 672 00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:23,090 ♪ I made my dreams come true ♪ 673 00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:26,040 ♪ My dreams come true ♪ 674 00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,400 Holy crap! 675 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,490 What? I thought this was a nude beach. 676 00:41:33,550 --> 00:41:36,550 No!!! 677 00:41:40,390 --> 00:41:41,910 - Huh? No. - What? What are you doing? 678 00:41:41,990 --> 00:41:45,030 - Jenny, you gotta cover up. 679 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:46,900 Girl? 680 00:41:46,950 --> 00:41:48,080 Girl! 681 00:41:48,170 --> 00:41:53,000 Ooh, girl. Girl... girl. 682 00:41:53,070 --> 00:41:55,910 Girl... girl... 683 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:57,240 Run! 684 00:41:57,290 --> 00:41:59,630 685 00:42:03,820 --> 00:42:05,220 - I'm not gonna make it. 686 00:42:05,270 --> 00:42:07,890 - Go on without me. - All right. See ya. 687 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,060 Chica! Chica! 688 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,480 Chica! Chica! 689 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,410 690 00:42:33,210 --> 00:42:35,250 Reading Mieke's old emails again? 691 00:42:35,300 --> 00:42:36,830 Yeah. 692 00:42:38,500 --> 00:42:42,300 I have no idea what I'm going to say to that girl when I see her. 693 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,840 You know, she said I might be the one? 694 00:42:46,930 --> 00:42:48,390 That's huge. 695 00:42:48,460 --> 00:42:51,930 I've never been "the one" before. 696 00:42:51,980 --> 00:42:55,980 Thought I was "the one" with Fiona, but turns out I was, what, 101? 697 00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:58,600 - 200. - 200! 698 00:42:58,650 --> 00:43:00,990 Look, you got nothing to worry about. 699 00:43:01,070 --> 00:43:04,580 You'll show up and sweep her off her German feet. 700 00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:07,860 Thanks. 701 00:43:14,990 --> 00:43:17,340 Yeah. 702 00:43:17,420 --> 00:43:19,540 I will, won't I? 703 00:43:22,490 --> 00:43:24,760 I'm so sad and lonely. 704 00:43:24,830 --> 00:43:27,460 I just wish someone would show up 705 00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,000 and sweep me off my German feet. 706 00:43:30,050 --> 00:43:32,770 Mieke! I'm here. 707 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,440 Scotty! 708 00:43:34,510 --> 00:43:36,520 About that last email. I'm so sorry... 709 00:43:36,610 --> 00:43:39,690 The past is the past. You're here now. 710 00:43:39,780 --> 00:43:43,450 I've been saving myself for you. 711 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:47,120 Let us make love for one whole month. 712 00:43:50,070 --> 00:43:53,660 Touch me, Scotty. 713 00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:57,300 OK. 714 00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:02,130 715 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,300 716 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,320 Oh, Scott... 717 00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:21,220 - Honey 718 00:44:21,270 --> 00:44:23,020 - Honey 719 00:44:23,070 --> 00:44:25,560 - Honey 720 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,560 - Honey 721 00:44:29,610 --> 00:44:31,610 - Honey 722 00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:34,830 723 00:44:38,170 --> 00:44:39,240 Mi scusi. 724 00:44:39,290 --> 00:44:42,870 725 00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:45,840 Mi scusi! 726 00:44:45,910 --> 00:44:49,180 ♪ " Hot stuff baby this evening " ♪ 727 00:44:49,250 --> 00:44:51,250 ♪ " Gotta have some hot stuff " ♪ 728 00:44:51,300 --> 00:44:54,350 ♪ " Gotta have some love tonight " ♪ 729 00:44:54,420 --> 00:44:56,640 ♪ " Hot stuff " ♪ 730 00:45:12,870 --> 00:45:15,440 Guys, our train doesn't leave till morning. 731 00:45:15,490 --> 00:45:16,990 - Are we gonna sleep tonight? 732 00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:18,460 - What do you mean, sleep? 733 00:45:18,540 --> 00:45:20,880 We can sleep on the train tomorrow. 734 00:45:20,950 --> 00:45:23,950 This is the best that could've happened. We're in Amsterdam! 735 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,330 This is the drug and sex capital of Europe! 736 00:45:27,470 --> 00:45:28,470 Take a look at this. 737 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:33,960 "Club Vandersexxx." 738 00:45:34,010 --> 00:45:37,100 "The red light district's hottest sex club." 739 00:45:37,150 --> 00:45:39,900 We have to check it out. Who's with me? 740 00:45:39,970 --> 00:45:41,350 I'll go. 741 00:45:41,430 --> 00:45:44,320 Fine. Since no one else is willing to go, 742 00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:46,070 I'll just go myself. 743 00:46:00,990 --> 00:46:03,840 ♪ " I see " ♪ 744 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,370 ♪ " You're waiting for me " ♪ 745 00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:11,260 This is definitely where I parked my car. 746 00:46:13,380 --> 00:46:15,350 Hello there. 747 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,270 Welcome to Club Vandersexxx... 748 00:46:19,340 --> 00:46:22,270 Amsterdam's most erotic club, 749 00:46:22,340 --> 00:46:25,610 where your every fantasy will be fulfilled. 750 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:28,530 Also says I get a free T-shirt with flyer. 751 00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,070 He's American. 752 00:46:33,150 --> 00:46:38,210 How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes. 753 00:46:38,290 --> 00:46:42,880 A country overrun with crime and illiteracy. 754 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:45,630 A country where a man is forced to make sex 755 00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:47,630 to only one woman at a time, 756 00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:50,550 and one must learn the woman's name beforehand. 757 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:54,220 - It was horrible. - I know. 758 00:46:54,310 --> 00:46:56,370 But you can come with me... 759 00:46:56,430 --> 00:46:59,510 and let the Vandersexxx begin. 760 00:47:02,050 --> 00:47:03,710 761 00:47:03,770 --> 00:47:07,690 ♪ " Marijuana in my soul " ♪ 762 00:47:07,740 --> 00:47:09,720 ♪ " Your iguana in my hall " ♪ 763 00:47:09,770 --> 00:47:11,610 I can't believe we're doing this. 764 00:47:11,690 --> 00:47:16,190 Don't worry. Hash brownies are totally legal here. 765 00:47:16,250 --> 00:47:20,230 You're gonna enjoy these, man. These are magical. 766 00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:23,750 " I like to smoke marijuana " 767 00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:26,570 - You wanna do this? - Yeah. 768 00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:30,120 769 00:47:31,790 --> 00:47:33,340 - Hi. - Hi. 770 00:47:33,410 --> 00:47:35,550 I need a new battery for my camera, 771 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,970 and while you're at it, it could use a cleaning. 772 00:47:38,050 --> 00:47:39,550 Wow. 773 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,690 Is that a Leica M6? 774 00:47:42,750 --> 00:47:44,190 Actually, it's an M7. 775 00:47:44,260 --> 00:47:46,440 It's got the built-in light meter. 776 00:47:47,140 --> 00:47:48,690 It's so beautiful. 777 00:47:49,530 --> 00:47:52,110 So sleek, so powerful. 778 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,280 How's the new lens system? 779 00:47:54,370 --> 00:47:58,320 Makes the Nikon look like a disposable. 780 00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:00,870 You really know your cameras. 781 00:48:02,370 --> 00:48:03,820 And you're very cute. 782 00:48:03,910 --> 00:48:06,290 Me? Really? 783 00:48:06,380 --> 00:48:08,580 I'm going on break. 784 00:48:08,630 --> 00:48:11,500 I was going to step out back and have a cigarette. 785 00:48:11,580 --> 00:48:13,250 Would you like to join me? 786 00:48:13,300 --> 00:48:16,050 I don't smoke. 787 00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,340 Neither do I. 788 00:48:25,510 --> 00:48:27,100 Hold on, hold on. 789 00:48:27,150 --> 00:48:28,820 What is it? 790 00:48:28,900 --> 00:48:30,400 This is great! 791 00:48:30,470 --> 00:48:32,600 You're so innocent. 792 00:48:34,140 --> 00:48:36,570 Let's change that... shall we? 793 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,830 What would you like me to do? 794 00:48:40,910 --> 00:48:43,410 Well... I don't really know... 795 00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,480 I guess I really haven't done that much. 796 00:48:45,530 --> 00:48:49,320 I haven't really found the time, with all my extracurriculars, 797 00:48:49,370 --> 00:48:53,340 and model U.N., advanced placement classes, after-school tutor... 798 00:48:53,430 --> 00:48:56,040 ...ing! Ah! 799 00:48:56,130 --> 00:48:59,710 Gosh, you really like cameras! 800 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,680 Sometimes, we find our clients are so overwhelmed with the pleasure, 801 00:49:03,770 --> 00:49:06,500 that they sometimes scream out,"no," 802 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:09,390 when really they mean,"yes." 803 00:49:09,470 --> 00:49:12,810 And this is why we have the safe word. 804 00:49:12,860 --> 00:49:15,610 The "safe word"? 805 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,870 If at any time the ecstasy gets too great, 806 00:49:18,950 --> 00:49:21,200 you just use the safe word. 807 00:49:22,450 --> 00:49:25,710 Until we hear the safe word, we will not stop. 808 00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,410 Yeah, right. Stop. All right. 809 00:49:28,490 --> 00:49:31,550 We're going to start slowly, 810 00:49:31,630 --> 00:49:36,170 teasing you with a little light erotic foreplay. 811 00:49:36,220 --> 00:49:38,870 Whee! 812 00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:41,310 Oh, yes, ladies! 813 00:49:41,370 --> 00:49:44,090 On, on, vandersexxx! 814 00:49:45,140 --> 00:49:48,010 815 00:49:51,150 --> 00:49:53,320 Hans! Gruber! 816 00:49:53,390 --> 00:49:56,550 817 00:49:57,190 --> 00:49:58,410 Hi. 818 00:50:09,230 --> 00:50:12,590 So, are the girls coming back? 819 00:50:12,670 --> 00:50:15,290 Administer the testicle clamps! 820 00:50:15,370 --> 00:50:17,290 - Huh? What? Hey! 821 00:50:17,380 --> 00:50:20,040 822 00:50:23,630 --> 00:50:25,600 Safe word! 823 00:50:32,970 --> 00:50:35,810 What is that?! That's not a word, it's a... 824 00:50:35,860 --> 00:50:38,650 "Fluggen-kliggin-kien?" 825 00:50:38,700 --> 00:50:41,280 826 00:50:41,330 --> 00:50:43,170 Fluggen!!! 827 00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:48,860 828 00:50:48,940 --> 00:50:50,860 OK, mister, don't move. - Excuse me? 829 00:50:50,940 --> 00:50:52,660 Shut the hell up! 830 00:50:52,740 --> 00:50:54,700 Oh, brother! Please don't hurt me. 831 00:50:54,780 --> 00:50:57,820 Oh, no... you're fine. That's good. You're fine. 832 00:50:57,870 --> 00:50:59,950 Give me cash? You got cash? 833 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,250 Take it all, you dirty girl. 834 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:03,650 What? 835 00:51:03,710 --> 00:51:06,120 Your wallet! Focus! 836 00:51:07,210 --> 00:51:09,490 - Give it to me. - Oh! 837 00:51:09,540 --> 00:51:11,380 Oh, I love you! 838 00:51:11,460 --> 00:51:14,000 I love you! 839 00:51:14,050 --> 00:51:18,770 I love you! I looove you! 840 00:51:20,170 --> 00:51:23,360 841 00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:27,140 842 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:29,850 843 00:51:30,650 --> 00:51:32,650 What's so funny? 844 00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:35,790 845 00:51:40,990 --> 00:51:44,210 I'm really hungry. I think I've got the munchies. 846 00:51:44,300 --> 00:51:46,960 - Excuse me. - Huh? 847 00:51:47,030 --> 00:51:50,670 It's hot in here. You hot? 'Cause I'm really hot. 848 00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:53,140 - So good. - OK, I can't breathe! God! 849 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:54,710 Tao điên lên đây! 850 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,920 I think we got a bad batch 'cause I'm freaking out. 851 00:51:57,010 --> 00:51:59,090 I can't... I can't do this. 852 00:51:59,180 --> 00:52:02,730 I saw a gay porno once. I didn't know until halfway in. 853 00:52:02,810 --> 00:52:06,900 The girls never came. The girls never came! 854 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:09,900 I am freaking out!! 855 00:52:09,990 --> 00:52:13,720 - Everything all right with you? - No, nothing's all right. 856 00:52:13,780 --> 00:52:15,830 You sold us a bad batch of ash brownies. 857 00:52:15,890 --> 00:52:17,900 You're a bad Rastafarian. 858 00:52:17,950 --> 00:52:20,560 These are not ash brownies. 859 00:52:20,620 --> 00:52:22,000 Hmm? 860 00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:26,920 - What was that? - We do not sell hash brownies. 861 00:52:27,010 --> 00:52:29,210 We're a simple Dutch bakery! 862 00:52:33,180 --> 00:52:35,850 Now put your clothes back on, white boy! 863 00:52:37,020 --> 00:52:39,800 Ow! Ow! Ow! 864 00:52:39,890 --> 00:52:41,640 "Fluggengegeholen!" 865 00:52:41,720 --> 00:52:43,140 866 00:52:43,220 --> 00:52:45,810 Did you say fluggegecheimen? 867 00:52:45,890 --> 00:52:46,940 Yes! Yes! 868 00:52:47,030 --> 00:52:49,640 For the love of god, fluggengecheimen! 869 00:52:49,730 --> 00:52:51,400 Are you sure? 870 00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:52,700 Yes, please. 871 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,900 As you wish. 872 00:52:56,270 --> 00:52:58,490 Bring on the fluggegecheimen! 873 00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:03,820 Wait... what? 874 00:53:03,910 --> 00:53:05,880 Uh-oh. 875 00:53:05,940 --> 00:53:09,160 No, no, no! I didn't say fluggegecheimen, 876 00:53:09,250 --> 00:53:10,330 I said, uh... 877 00:53:10,420 --> 00:53:14,390 878 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 879 00:53:17,790 --> 00:53:19,140 880 00:53:30,350 --> 00:53:32,100 What'd you do last night? 881 00:53:34,310 --> 00:53:36,360 I don't want to talk about it. 882 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:37,740 What did you guys do? 883 00:53:37,810 --> 00:53:39,990 Don't want to talk about it. 884 00:53:42,360 --> 00:53:46,120 - What is that? - Free T-shirt. 885 00:53:50,590 --> 00:53:52,260 Hey, guys. 886 00:53:53,210 --> 00:53:55,210 What happened to you? 887 00:53:55,290 --> 00:53:56,930 I got robbed. 888 00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,180 It was awesome! 889 00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:03,100 Our money, passports, tickets... 890 00:54:03,470 --> 00:54:05,270 Everything, gone! 891 00:54:06,610 --> 00:54:08,440 How the hell could this happen? 892 00:54:08,510 --> 00:54:11,610 We all go to Amsterdam, and Jamie's the one who hooks up! 893 00:54:12,860 --> 00:54:14,810 For shame! 894 00:54:16,900 --> 00:54:19,120 895 00:54:23,410 --> 00:54:25,910 Oh, that's me. 896 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,690 Coop here. Sorry. 897 00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:33,630 Hello, Mr. Walters.. 898 00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:37,220 You never got the Gutterman file? 899 00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:39,220 I told Humphrey to give it to you. 900 00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:43,540 That's hogwash. I handed it to him myself yesterday. 901 00:54:43,590 --> 00:54:46,710 I'll tell Humphrey to report to your office immediately. 902 00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,810 Bye. 903 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:53,270 This job's killing me. 904 00:55:00,940 --> 00:55:03,890 905 00:55:03,950 --> 00:55:06,400 - Uh... - Let me handle this. 906 00:55:06,450 --> 00:55:08,780 I speak bad German. 907 00:55:32,090 --> 00:55:34,810 - What did he say? - He said he's driving. 908 00:55:34,890 --> 00:55:36,190 - Oh. - Something. 909 00:55:36,260 --> 00:55:38,030 Jah. 910 00:55:41,650 --> 00:55:42,900 Berlin? 911 00:55:52,380 --> 00:55:54,550 Berlin? Berlin! 912 00:55:59,830 --> 00:56:02,090 - He's going to Berlin! - Awesome! 913 00:56:04,390 --> 00:56:15,800 - All right! Berlin! - Come on, let's go! 914 00:56:15,850 --> 00:56:18,150 Next stop, Berlin! 915 00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,240 916 00:56:21,610 --> 00:56:24,140 917 00:56:28,310 --> 00:56:30,860 918 00:56:40,260 --> 00:56:43,540 Beautiful! We made it to Berlin. 919 00:56:43,630 --> 00:56:45,680 Jah. Berlin! 920 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,350 - Bratislava? - Yeah. 921 00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:54,440 Bratislava! 922 00:56:54,510 --> 00:56:56,440 923 00:57:00,150 --> 00:57:03,200 Dear sweet mother of God. 924 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:05,350 We're in Eastern Europe. 925 00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,850 926 00:57:07,900 --> 00:57:09,120 Eww! 927 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:19,000 928 00:57:24,800 --> 00:57:26,720 Excuse me. 929 00:57:27,670 --> 00:57:29,470 Do you speak any English? 930 00:57:29,540 --> 00:57:32,540 You are Americans? 931 00:57:32,590 --> 00:57:33,930 Yeah. 932 00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:35,930 I love America. 933 00:57:37,020 --> 00:57:40,270 We just get "Miami Vice" on television. 934 00:57:40,350 --> 00:57:43,650 Amen! "Miami Vice" is number one new show. 935 00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:45,060 Yeah. 936 00:57:45,110 --> 00:57:48,740 Listen, we're trying to get to Berlin, Germany. 937 00:57:48,830 --> 00:57:51,080 Do you know if there's a train coming anytime soon? 938 00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,700 Oh, yes, very soon. They are building it now. 939 00:57:58,450 --> 00:58:01,070 Stop! Hammer time! 940 00:58:01,120 --> 00:58:03,340 Enjoy Bratislava! 941 00:58:03,410 --> 00:58:05,790 It's good you came in summer. 942 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:10,300 In winter, it can get very depressing. 943 00:58:10,380 --> 00:58:13,520 We gotta figure something out. How much money do we have? 944 00:58:13,580 --> 00:58:15,350 945 00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:20,560 Frommer's travel tip. 946 00:58:22,090 --> 00:58:23,640 I don't have anything. 947 00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:26,060 What? I got noth... fine. 948 00:58:32,740 --> 00:58:35,370 $1.83 American. 949 00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,240 What are we gonna get with that? 950 00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,580 Gotta love that exchange rate! 951 00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:49,220 Ta. 952 00:58:52,060 --> 00:58:53,890 Dinner is served 953 00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:56,460 Would the masters care for anything else? 954 00:58:56,510 --> 00:58:58,310 Think we're good. Thanks. 955 00:58:59,810 --> 00:59:02,430 Ah! A nickel! 956 00:59:04,570 --> 00:59:05,770 You see this? 957 00:59:06,770 --> 00:59:10,190 - I quit! 958 00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:12,990 I open my own hotel! 959 00:59:20,650 --> 00:59:23,150 So, we got 27 cents left. 960 00:59:23,200 --> 00:59:25,370 What is there to do in this town? 961 00:59:27,590 --> 00:59:30,590 962 00:59:32,330 --> 00:59:35,220 ♪ - " My Scotty " - " Scotty, Scotty " ♪ 963 00:59:35,300 --> 00:59:38,940 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 964 00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:40,940 ♪ " Don't tell Scotty " ♪ 965 00:59:42,610 --> 00:59:44,940 ♪ - " Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 966 00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:47,060 This song sounds familiar. 967 00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:53,280 Jenny, lemme check your coat. 968 00:59:57,660 --> 00:59:59,690 - Hey! - Jenny! 969 00:59:59,740 --> 01:00:03,040 That outfit is horrible! Just take it off... now! 970 01:00:04,730 --> 01:00:07,910 No, but I will let you buy me a drink. 971 01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,250 Excuse me! 972 01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,870 You are the woman from the Paris train station, aren't you? 973 01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:15,710 - My name is... - Christoph. 974 01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,390 Yes. 975 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,090 What are you doing here? 976 01:00:19,180 --> 01:00:23,260 This is my place. My family owns many nightclubs in Europe. 977 01:00:23,350 --> 01:00:25,680 I'd be honored if you'd join me in my V.I.P.Room for a drink. 978 01:00:25,730 --> 01:00:27,650 Mmm-kay. 979 01:00:30,100 --> 01:00:31,360 Bye, Cooper. 980 01:00:38,530 --> 01:00:40,910 - What's that? - It's absinthe. 981 01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:42,920 Frommer's says it's illegal in the States 982 01:00:43,000 --> 01:00:45,590 because it makes you hallucinate and go crazy. 983 01:00:45,670 --> 01:00:47,870 They call it "the green fairy." 984 01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:57,550 My family has a yacht in the Aegean. 985 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,930 Come with me, Jennifer. We will sail away together. 986 01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,970 Oh, my God! 987 01:01:03,050 --> 01:01:06,270 We will swim with dolphins, and sip champagne by moonlight. 988 01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:08,940 Oh, my God! 989 01:01:09,030 --> 01:01:12,030 We will spend the day sunbathing, drinking wine. 990 01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:14,400 My wife makes the best sangria. 991 01:01:14,450 --> 01:01:16,400 Wait... what? 992 01:01:16,450 --> 01:01:18,040 Sangria. 993 01:01:18,100 --> 01:01:19,820 You take a good Spanish Rioja, 994 01:01:19,900 --> 01:01:22,110 and you put in slices of orange, and... 995 01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:24,830 No, wait. You said you were married? 996 01:01:26,710 --> 01:01:29,780 You go around Europe sleeping with every woman you meet? 997 01:01:29,830 --> 01:01:32,220 No, please, Jennifer. It is not like that. 998 01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,170 I also sleep with men. 999 01:01:38,340 --> 01:01:40,960 I gotta say, I'm not feeling anything. 1000 01:01:41,010 --> 01:01:42,430 Me neither. 1001 01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,260 Sober as a judge. 1002 01:01:45,980 --> 01:01:47,060 How 'bout you? 1003 01:01:47,130 --> 01:01:49,070 Tôi chẳng cảm thấy chó gì. 1004 01:01:49,130 --> 01:01:51,800 This absinthe is bullshit! 1005 01:01:51,850 --> 01:01:53,470 I hear you, my brother. 1006 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:55,410 I'm outta here. 1007 01:01:55,470 --> 01:01:56,940 Excuse me. 1008 01:01:56,990 --> 01:02:00,280 - Hey, so where's Christoph? - Shut up. 1009 01:02:02,410 --> 01:02:04,280 1010 01:02:21,850 --> 01:02:23,880 - Europe! - Europe! 1011 01:02:23,970 --> 01:02:27,600 - Whoo! - Europe! 1012 01:02:27,670 --> 01:02:29,170 So, tomorrow, Berlin. 1013 01:02:29,220 --> 01:02:31,110 Tomorrow, Mieke! 1014 01:02:38,120 --> 01:02:39,070 Check it out. 1015 01:02:39,150 --> 01:02:41,450 No way! 1016 01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:44,790 Jamie's hooking up with another girl? Goddamn it! 1017 01:02:44,860 --> 01:02:48,240 It's just so unfair. I've been all over, 1018 01:02:48,260 --> 01:02:51,460 looking for crazy European sex, and he's the one who ends up getting... 1019 01:02:51,530 --> 01:02:53,630 - Oh, my God! 1020 01:02:56,880 --> 01:03:00,750 That is some pretty fucked-up shit. 1021 01:03:10,230 --> 01:03:12,880 1022 01:03:12,930 --> 01:03:17,020 They really are the worst twins ever. 1023 01:03:17,070 --> 01:03:18,740 (Both screaming) 1024 01:03:43,910 --> 01:03:46,300 That was a pretty wild night, eh? 1025 01:03:47,390 --> 01:03:50,190 Yep. Pretty wild, pretty wild. 1026 01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:54,690 I know I was out of control. 1027 01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:56,280 How about you guys? Did you...? 1028 01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:59,200 All right, look. We were really drunk, 1029 01:03:59,260 --> 01:04:01,700 và làm vài việc điên rồ, và Jamie... 1030 01:04:01,770 --> 01:04:04,650 kissed me. 1031 01:04:04,740 --> 01:04:06,570 Let's just forget about it, 'kay? 1032 01:04:06,620 --> 01:04:09,040 OK, fine. I'll give it a rest. 1033 01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:14,790 Jamie, could I borrow your Frommer's? 1034 01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:20,630 Oh, here it is. Bratislava. 1035 01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:23,000 Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. 1036 01:04:23,090 --> 01:04:25,260 Oh, here's a fun fact. 1037 01:04:26,590 --> 01:04:28,560 You made out with your sister, man! 1038 01:04:28,630 --> 01:04:31,760 - Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! - Like two dogs in heat. 1039 01:04:31,810 --> 01:04:35,020 1040 01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:37,900 My friends, where is the beef? 1041 01:04:37,970 --> 01:04:39,990 1042 01:04:40,070 --> 01:04:42,860 You go to Berlin? I'm your ride. 1043 01:04:42,940 --> 01:04:44,410 Hop in. 1044 01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:51,650 " "99 Red Balloons" 1045 01:05:11,140 --> 01:05:13,940 Okay. This is Mieke's apartment building. 1046 01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,240 Wish me all sorts of luck, guys. 1047 01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:19,390 You'll do great, Scotty. 1048 01:05:21,480 --> 01:05:23,080 Thanks. 1049 01:05:43,050 --> 01:05:46,690 I came all this way. I'm not gonna miss this. 1050 01:05:48,890 --> 01:05:51,020 1051 01:05:52,680 --> 01:05:55,480 - Dude, Mieke's hideous! Run! - Stop. 1052 01:05:56,900 --> 01:06:01,320 1053 01:06:07,580 --> 01:06:09,360 Hi, my name is Scott Thomas. 1054 01:06:09,410 --> 01:06:11,630 I'm from America, and I'm here to see Mieke. 1055 01:06:11,700 --> 01:06:14,130 I'm sorry, but Mieke's not here. 1056 01:06:14,200 --> 01:06:15,630 Do you know where she is? 1057 01:06:15,700 --> 01:06:17,750 She's gone for the summer. 1058 01:06:21,590 --> 01:06:23,920 1059 01:06:31,380 --> 01:06:35,900 My daughter had intended to spend the summer in America, 1060 01:06:35,940 --> 01:06:37,890 looking at colleges visiting some friends. 1061 01:06:37,940 --> 01:06:40,690 But several days ago, she suddenly changed her mind. 1062 01:06:40,740 --> 01:06:42,660 She would not tell me why. 1063 01:06:42,730 --> 01:06:45,830 I think I know why. 1064 01:06:47,230 --> 01:06:49,570 1065 01:06:49,620 --> 01:06:50,920 1066 01:06:51,000 --> 01:06:54,500 This is Heinrich. He's Mieke's stepbrother. 1067 01:06:54,570 --> 01:06:57,620 As I was saying, she packed up her bag and left. 1068 01:06:57,710 --> 01:07:00,990 - It was all very sudden. - Do you know where she is now? 1069 01:07:01,080 --> 01:07:03,800 As you know she's always been very interested in the classics, 1070 01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:06,280 Greek and Roman literature, history, 1071 01:07:06,530 --> 01:07:08,060 and she's always enjoyed the ocean, 1072 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:11,190 so she found a program that combines all her interests. 1073 01:07:11,260 --> 01:07:12,920 Do you know where she is? 1074 01:07:13,930 --> 01:07:17,440 She enrolled in a summer at sea program, based in Rome. 1075 01:07:18,730 --> 01:07:20,200 Rome. 1076 01:07:20,660 --> 01:07:22,950 OK, then I guess we'll go to Rome, then. 1077 01:07:23,030 --> 01:07:25,870 Well hold on. Unfortunately, Mieke's only in Rome for orientation. 1078 01:07:25,940 --> 01:07:29,210 Tomorrow her group boards a boat and she'll be gone for the summer. 1079 01:07:29,270 --> 01:07:32,410 And she'll be quite unreachable. 1080 01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:34,790 Unreachable. 1081 01:07:41,670 --> 01:07:44,750 Mieke's tour group goes to the Vatican tomorrow, 1082 01:07:44,770 --> 01:07:46,670 then she gets on that boat and she's gone. 1083 01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:48,260 So, it's over? 1084 01:07:50,630 --> 01:07:54,480 Hey! Thanks for sticking with me through this, guys, but... 1085 01:07:54,870 --> 01:07:56,950 you should probably call your parents, 1086 01:07:57,130 --> 01:08:00,020 have them wire you some money and go home. 1087 01:08:00,100 --> 01:08:01,800 What are you gonna do? 1088 01:08:01,860 --> 01:08:07,810 I'm going to Rome. I'll walk, I'll hitchhike, 1089 01:08:07,860 --> 01:08:10,830 I'll swim if I have to, but I'll get to Mieke somehow. 1090 01:08:15,540 --> 01:08:17,150 Maybe that'll help. 1091 01:08:17,200 --> 01:08:18,620 Where'd you get all that? 1092 01:08:18,670 --> 01:08:21,590 Wait. Where's your Leica? 1093 01:08:21,660 --> 01:08:23,430 Sold it. 1094 01:08:23,490 --> 01:08:25,160 What? 1095 01:08:26,710 --> 01:08:29,520 You sold your Leica? But you loved that thing. 1096 01:08:29,600 --> 01:08:32,190 What about your photo tour of Europe? What about the chateaus? 1097 01:08:32,270 --> 01:08:34,850 Chateaus have been there for 300 years. 1098 01:08:34,940 --> 01:08:36,770 Mieke's gone in 12 hours. 1099 01:08:40,010 --> 01:08:42,150 Come on let's go! Frommer's says you're supposed to 1100 01:08:42,180 --> 01:08:44,350 check in three hours before international flights. 1101 01:08:44,580 --> 01:08:46,320 Come here, guidebook! 1102 01:08:46,370 --> 01:08:49,320 Whoo! We're going to Rome. We're going to Rome! 1103 01:08:59,880 --> 01:09:01,500 ♪ " Be my girl " ♪ 1104 01:09:01,550 --> 01:09:04,720 ♪ " Be my girl " ♪ 1105 01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,690 ♪ " Are you gonna be my " ♪ 1106 01:09:06,770 --> 01:09:09,220 ♪ " Girl, yeah " ♪ 1107 01:09:09,310 --> 01:09:11,170 ♪ " Be my girl " ♪ 1108 01:09:11,230 --> 01:09:13,760 ♪ " Be my girl " ♪ 1109 01:09:13,840 --> 01:09:16,900 ♪ " Are you gonna be my girl " ♪ 1110 01:09:21,650 --> 01:09:23,550 All right, summer at sea group. 1111 01:09:23,600 --> 01:09:25,720 Our tour begins in the Vatican museum. 1112 01:09:25,770 --> 01:09:27,770 This way, please. 1113 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,700 There it is. 1114 01:09:39,570 --> 01:09:43,070 1115 01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:46,630 This entrance is for private tour groups only. 1116 01:09:48,460 --> 01:09:51,200 Oh... but we are a private tour group. 1117 01:09:51,380 --> 01:09:53,300 We've come all the way from America. 1118 01:09:55,970 --> 01:09:59,020 That guy in the orange jacket is mentally retarded. 1119 01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:08,530 Si, I can tell. How very, very sad. 1120 01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:10,600 Yes, it is. 1121 01:10:10,650 --> 01:10:12,970 But if you are a tour, where is your guide? 1122 01:10:13,140 --> 01:10:15,320 We've got a fantastic tour guide. 1123 01:10:15,410 --> 01:10:17,990 - Right here. - What? No... 1124 01:10:20,580 --> 01:10:24,500 The Vatican has been used as a papal residence 1125 01:10:24,580 --> 01:10:26,420 ever since the time of Constantine the Great 1126 01:10:26,430 --> 01:10:28,130 the Great in the 5th century A.D.! 1127 01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,010 Let them in 1128 01:10:32,090 --> 01:10:35,930 OK... um... if you'll all follow me, please. 1129 01:10:39,650 --> 01:10:42,600 Have a very special day 1130 01:10:42,650 --> 01:10:46,770 for a very special little man. 1131 01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,470 OK. 1132 01:10:50,240 --> 01:10:52,990 I can't believe that guy let us in. 1133 01:10:53,080 --> 01:10:54,810 What a retard! 1134 01:10:54,860 --> 01:10:56,500 - Okay. Let's find Mieke. - Scusate. 1135 01:10:58,150 --> 01:11:01,180 One of our English-speaking tour guides has called in sick. 1136 01:11:01,350 --> 01:11:04,340 Could you please take these peoples also? 1137 01:11:06,160 --> 01:11:10,160 - How big is Vatican City? - 0.5 square kilometers. 1138 01:11:10,210 --> 01:11:14,660 - Who built the colonnades? - Gianlorenzo Bernini, 1656. 1139 01:11:14,710 --> 01:11:17,330 - Where are the bathrooms? - Floors 2,6 and 7. 1140 01:11:17,580 --> 01:11:20,820 Next I'll take you to where the College of Cardinals elects a new pope. 1141 01:11:20,980 --> 01:11:23,860 When this happens, white smoke is sent up from the Vatican. 1142 01:11:23,870 --> 01:11:26,680 - Here's a fun fact... - Mieke must be around here somewhere. 1143 01:11:27,530 --> 01:11:28,230 Đi nào. 1144 01:11:37,190 --> 01:11:40,280 Behind me is the appartamento papale, 1145 01:11:40,290 --> 01:11:43,460 or "papal apartment." We're obviously not permitted. 1146 01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:47,380 Excuse me, miss. What is this? 1147 01:11:47,460 --> 01:11:49,080 That is the bell of San Marco. 1148 01:11:49,170 --> 01:11:51,930 When the pope dies, the Cardinal Vicar of Rome 1149 01:11:51,950 --> 01:11:54,140 rings this bell to notify the people of Rome. 1150 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:57,920 Next we will view the Sistine Chapel. Follow me, please. 1151 01:12:01,240 --> 01:12:03,680 Come on. I think I hear them. 1152 01:12:03,830 --> 01:12:04,730 Which way did they go? 1153 01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:07,350 That way. I'd stake my reputation on it. 1154 01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:08,940 Good enough for me. 1155 01:12:09,020 --> 01:12:12,790 Hey, check it out! I wonder what this does. 1156 01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:16,560 It doesn't do anything, it's a rope. Come on, let's go. 1157 01:12:16,610 --> 01:12:18,700 They got a lot of old stuff here. 1158 01:12:18,750 --> 01:12:24,030 1159 01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:27,570 Dio mio! 1160 01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:30,570 The bell of San Marco! 1161 01:12:32,290 --> 01:12:34,210 The pope is dead! 1162 01:12:34,260 --> 01:12:35,930 1163 01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:39,380 Whoa. 1164 01:12:41,920 --> 01:12:44,100 She's not in here. 1165 01:12:44,190 --> 01:12:46,640 Đi thôi. Chúng ta không thể ở đây lâu. 1166 01:12:46,720 --> 01:12:48,940 Hey, check this out! 1167 01:12:49,030 --> 01:12:51,440 - I'm the pope! - Cooper... 1168 01:12:51,530 --> 01:12:54,100 take off the pope hat. 1169 01:12:54,150 --> 01:12:58,400 - Oh, no. It's OK.I'm catholic. - Take it off, goddamnit! 1170 01:12:58,450 --> 01:13:01,480 Oh, you took the Lord's name in vain! 1171 01:13:01,610 --> 01:13:03,890 Only I can forgive you now, my son. 1172 01:13:04,170 --> 01:13:05,410 Take that fudging thing off! 1173 01:13:05,760 --> 01:13:07,710 The pope breaks an open-field tackle. 1174 01:13:07,780 --> 01:13:10,330 It's a Hail Mary, he catches at the 40... 1175 01:13:10,410 --> 01:13:13,000 thứ 30, thứ 20, thứ 10... 1176 01:13:13,050 --> 01:13:15,050 Sờ thử đi! 1177 01:13:16,170 --> 01:13:19,010 The pope makes a two-point conversion. 1178 01:13:19,090 --> 01:13:21,860 oh, my Lord! It's the Pope, eight, 1179 01:13:21,930 --> 01:13:23,310 and the heathens, nothing! 1180 01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:25,600 nothing! 1181 01:13:25,650 --> 01:13:28,300 How's you, sucka? 1182 01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,570 1183 01:13:30,930 --> 01:13:32,570 Cooper, the hat! The hat! 1184 01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:34,020 The hat is on fire! 1185 01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:36,160 " We don't need no water let the m... " 1186 01:13:36,540 --> 01:13:38,120 I'm not kidding! Look! 1187 01:13:38,660 --> 01:13:40,110 Oh, holy shit! 1188 01:13:41,280 --> 01:13:42,410 I don't want this! 1189 01:13:42,480 --> 01:13:44,780 Fireplace! Fireplace! Go, go! 1190 01:13:46,370 --> 01:13:48,330 Whoa! 1191 01:13:55,330 --> 01:13:57,660 White smoke! 1192 01:13:57,710 --> 01:14:01,000 They've elected the new pope! 1193 01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:05,990 I'm coming to you live from Vatican Square 1194 01:14:06,030 --> 01:14:08,590 where the College of Cardinals, in a surprise move, 1195 01:14:08,670 --> 01:14:13,480 has just elected a new pope. The crowd is very excited. 1196 01:14:13,530 --> 01:14:15,020 This is so strange. 1197 01:14:15,210 --> 01:14:18,680 Usually they wait 15 days to elect a new pope. 1198 01:14:18,730 --> 01:14:21,030 We could be seeing history in the making! 1199 01:14:21,320 --> 01:14:23,520 We could be seeing an arrest in the making. 1200 01:14:23,570 --> 01:14:25,660 1201 01:14:31,530 --> 01:14:33,880 There she is. Mieke! 1202 01:14:36,470 --> 01:14:38,250 Hey! Stupid curtain! 1203 01:14:39,420 --> 01:14:41,300 Let me out! 1204 01:14:44,370 --> 01:14:46,390 Mieke! 1205 01:14:46,480 --> 01:14:48,540 It's the new pope! 1206 01:14:48,600 --> 01:14:50,900 1207 01:15:14,790 --> 01:15:17,710 What the hell...? 1208 01:15:22,380 --> 01:15:23,960 Mieke! 1209 01:15:24,050 --> 01:15:26,750 1210 01:15:26,800 --> 01:15:28,270 Hold on! 1211 01:15:34,090 --> 01:15:36,480 This is one crazy pope. 1212 01:15:37,310 --> 01:15:40,530 1213 01:15:42,900 --> 01:15:44,400 1214 01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:46,940 You! 1215 01:15:46,990 --> 01:15:50,120 Ferma! Stop! You! 1216 01:15:51,490 --> 01:15:55,600 You... and your retarded friend, 1217 01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:57,750 you're in big, big trouble. 1218 01:15:57,800 --> 01:15:59,000 Oy! 1219 01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,920 1220 01:16:01,970 --> 01:16:04,450 Take your mitts off them boys! 1221 01:16:04,500 --> 01:16:06,670 They're with me! 1222 01:16:08,390 --> 01:16:11,730 I've just about had enough of you fuckin' ities! 1223 01:16:12,700 --> 01:16:14,180 But I am Swiss! 1224 01:16:15,430 --> 01:16:17,020 Them, too! 1225 01:16:22,910 --> 01:16:24,070 Now, bud... 1226 01:16:24,140 --> 01:16:27,080 you get in there, and you say what you got to say. 1227 01:16:28,830 --> 01:16:30,750 Mieke. I'm here. 1228 01:16:30,990 --> 01:16:32,250 I made it. 1229 01:16:35,420 --> 01:16:37,320 Who are you? 1230 01:16:37,370 --> 01:16:38,920 1231 01:16:38,990 --> 01:16:41,170 1232 01:16:41,260 --> 01:16:44,840 What a fucking loser! I'm gonna videotape this. 1233 01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:48,430 I'm Scott. 1234 01:16:48,500 --> 01:16:49,880 From Ohio? 1235 01:16:49,970 --> 01:16:53,670 Scott? Scott Thomas? 1236 01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:57,390 - Yes. - From Ohio? 1237 01:16:57,470 --> 01:17:00,530 - What are you doing in Rome? - I came here to be with you. 1238 01:17:00,610 --> 01:17:03,310 Listen, I just traveled all the way across Europe. 1239 01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,780 I got chased by naked men. 1240 01:17:05,850 --> 01:17:09,350 I ate brownies with absolutely no drugs in them. 1241 01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:13,520 I watched a brother and sister make out. 1242 01:17:13,570 --> 01:17:17,660 I kicked a robot in the balls, but I did it all so that... 1243 01:17:17,710 --> 01:17:19,880 so I could tell you one thing. 1244 01:17:22,580 --> 01:17:24,580 I love you, Mieke. 1245 01:17:24,670 --> 01:17:27,140 Aww... 1246 01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:29,870 We're perfect for each other. What do you think? 1247 01:17:29,920 --> 01:17:32,930 I think... 1248 01:17:48,610 --> 01:17:51,490 Oh, Mike... Mieke! 1249 01:17:54,580 --> 01:17:57,670 1250 01:18:04,340 --> 01:18:06,840 Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. 1251 01:18:06,910 --> 01:18:08,510 I have cheated on my husband. 1252 01:18:08,580 --> 01:18:11,350 Do you think God will ever forgive me? 1253 01:18:11,410 --> 01:18:13,180 Oh, yes! 1254 01:18:14,850 --> 01:18:15,920 - Father? 1255 01:18:17,770 --> 01:18:20,560 - Father? 1256 01:18:26,030 --> 01:18:27,810 This sucks. 1257 01:18:27,900 --> 01:18:31,600 I can't believe I'm the only one who didn't hook up while we were here. 1258 01:18:31,650 --> 01:18:34,540 Europe is officially the worst country on Earth. 1259 01:18:34,600 --> 01:18:36,070 I know. 1260 01:18:36,120 --> 01:18:39,740 I thought I'd at least get to have some crazy European sex. 1261 01:18:43,460 --> 01:18:44,660 What? 1262 01:18:50,950 --> 01:18:53,510 1263 01:18:53,590 --> 01:18:55,760 - Scott, I have to go. - OK. 1264 01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:59,230 My boat is leaving. 1265 01:18:59,300 --> 01:19:01,730 I still can't believe you came all the way here, 1266 01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:03,320 just for me. 1267 01:19:03,400 --> 01:19:06,740 What can I say? I'm very unpredictable. 1268 01:19:06,800 --> 01:19:09,490 Keep writing to me, Scott, OK? 1269 01:19:09,570 --> 01:19:11,110 Yeah, I will. 1270 01:19:29,790 --> 01:19:32,430 Yes! Yes! Yes! 1271 01:19:32,480 --> 01:19:35,130 Whoo-hoo! 1272 01:19:35,180 --> 01:19:38,770 Hey, guys, I'm so glad we got to take this trip together. 1273 01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,220 This was the best time of my life. 1274 01:19:44,940 --> 01:19:46,780 Excuse me. 1275 01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:50,310 You're the young man who gave me that tour of the Vatican, aren't you? 1276 01:19:52,680 --> 01:19:55,730 - Listen, I'm very sorry... - I just wanted to thank you. 1277 01:19:55,820 --> 01:19:59,540 You were the most knowledgeable, albeit idiosyncratic, 1278 01:19:59,620 --> 01:20:01,190 tour guide I've ever had. 1279 01:20:01,240 --> 01:20:02,960 Thanks. 1280 01:20:03,230 --> 01:20:05,210 But I'm not actually a tour guide. 1281 01:20:05,300 --> 01:20:08,160 I've just read Frommer's enough to have it memorized. 1282 01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:11,050 Although I threw in a few things Frommer's didn't know about. 1283 01:20:11,130 --> 01:20:12,890 How would you like to add them? 1284 01:20:12,970 --> 01:20:14,390 Excuse me? 1285 01:20:14,470 --> 01:20:17,510 That's my guidebook. 1286 01:20:22,730 --> 01:20:24,480 I'm Arthur Frommer. 1287 01:20:26,520 --> 01:20:28,250 Ngạc nhiên chưa! 1288 01:20:28,300 --> 01:20:32,550 Frommer's is going to pay me to see every museum and cathedral in Europe. tượng đài ở châu Âu. 1289 01:20:32,810 --> 01:20:35,770 - That sounds so exciting... 1290 01:20:35,860 --> 01:20:38,690 for you. 1291 01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:41,000 I figured, since you're going to be staying, 1292 01:20:41,060 --> 01:20:43,450 you might need this. 1293 01:20:43,530 --> 01:20:46,340 - A disposable camera. - That's right. 1294 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:47,590 Thanks, Scotty. 1295 01:20:47,670 --> 01:20:49,240 That's from both of us. 1296 01:20:49,290 --> 01:20:52,960 Scotty doesn't know 1297 01:20:57,460 --> 01:20:59,080 Hello, Mr. Walters. 1298 01:20:59,130 --> 01:21:00,770 I see. 1299 01:21:00,850 --> 01:21:03,520 Fired? Well, I... 1300 01:21:03,590 --> 01:21:07,520 Well, if that's what you want, I understand. I just... 1301 01:21:07,590 --> 01:21:10,360 goodbye, sir. 1302 01:21:10,430 --> 01:21:12,380 They had to catch you eventually, right? 1303 01:21:12,460 --> 01:21:14,280 - No, they fired Humphrey. - Shut up! 1304 01:21:14,360 --> 01:21:15,730 I got his office and a raise. 1305 01:21:15,780 --> 01:21:17,370 - No! 1306 01:21:17,430 --> 01:21:21,040 Flight 341 from Rome to Cleveland... 1307 01:21:21,100 --> 01:21:22,290 That's you guys. 1308 01:21:22,370 --> 01:21:24,820 - Have a good flight, everybody. - Come here. 1309 01:21:27,580 --> 01:21:29,110 Be good. 1310 01:21:30,460 --> 01:21:32,610 - Oh! OK... 1311 01:21:32,870 --> 01:21:35,450 - Cooper, have a good flight. - Be good. 1312 01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:36,590 Thanks. 1313 01:22:10,040 --> 01:22:11,590 I'm on it. 1314 01:22:17,790 --> 01:22:20,510 1315 01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:23,330 This still counts as Europe, right? 1316 01:22:32,360 --> 01:22:33,940 "Dear Mieke, 1317 01:22:34,010 --> 01:22:36,780 "Greece sounds incredible. 1318 01:22:36,850 --> 01:22:39,050 "I just moved into my dorm room today, 1319 01:22:39,300 --> 01:22:41,670 "but I can't wait to see you over Christmas break. 1320 01:22:41,950 --> 01:22:44,720 "This time I think I'll fly to Berlin direct." 1321 01:22:51,240 --> 01:22:53,710 - Hello? - Hey, buddy, how's college? 1322 01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:56,920 I just got here. My roommate hasn't even showed up yet. 1323 01:22:56,980 --> 01:22:59,170 Do they room all you pre-med geeks together? 1324 01:22:59,220 --> 01:23:01,100 I'm not sure I'm going pre-med. 1325 01:23:01,170 --> 01:23:02,920 I'm thinking about majoring in German. 1326 01:23:03,010 --> 01:23:05,260 German? I've got a better idea. 1327 01:23:05,340 --> 01:23:07,540 Why don't you major in not being such a woman? 1328 01:23:07,590 --> 01:23:09,010 So, how's Jenny? 1329 01:23:09,060 --> 01:23:11,380 Jenny... Jenny who? 1330 01:23:11,550 --> 01:23:13,880 I know a lot of ladies named Jenny, they're all... 1331 01:23:13,930 --> 01:23:15,270 Ow! 1332 01:23:16,890 --> 01:23:18,520 Hey, Scotty, what's up? 1333 01:23:18,570 --> 01:23:19,890 Hi, Jenny! 1334 01:23:19,940 --> 01:23:22,380 Have you heard from Jamie? How's he doing with Frommer? 1335 01:23:22,480 --> 01:23:23,330 Oh, no. 1336 01:23:23,390 --> 01:23:27,500 1337 01:23:27,560 --> 01:23:29,450 Hold on. 1338 01:23:29,530 --> 01:23:31,420 Come here, robot! 1339 01:23:31,500 --> 01:23:33,570 Cooper, not again! 1340 01:23:33,620 --> 01:23:34,620 1341 01:23:34,700 --> 01:23:36,510 Hold on, this could be my new roommate. 1342 01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,250 What's the freak look like? 1343 01:23:45,300 --> 01:23:48,750 Is he a dork or is he cool? Better not be cooler than me. 1344 01:23:48,800 --> 01:23:50,850 Is he bigger than me? 1345 01:23:50,920 --> 01:23:53,760 I just got your last email. What are you doing here? 1346 01:23:53,810 --> 01:23:55,970 Going to college. 1347 01:23:56,060 --> 01:23:58,480 You're going to college here? 1348 01:23:59,950 --> 01:24:01,980 - What dorm? - This one. 1349 01:24:02,170 --> 01:24:04,280 Room 214. 1350 01:24:07,450 --> 01:24:09,320 How is this possible? 1351 01:24:09,410 --> 01:24:12,710 I guess they thought I was a guy. 1352 01:24:12,780 --> 01:24:16,660 Now who would be dumb enough to make a mistake like that? 1353 01:24:25,260 --> 01:24:27,420 Do I hear kissing? 1354 01:24:27,470 --> 01:24:30,630 Are you making out with your new roommate, Scotty? 1355 01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:33,480 1356 01:24:33,560 --> 01:24:35,100 Scotty? 1357 01:24:35,150 --> 01:24:37,900 Scotty? Scotty! 1358 01:24:37,970 --> 01:24:41,200 " Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me " 1359 01:24:41,220 --> 01:24:42,910 This happy ending is bullshit. 1360 01:24:43,470 --> 01:24:46,440 When does the fairy get laid? I'm outta here. 1361 01:24:46,490 --> 01:24:49,760 " Still she's on her knees And Scotty doesn't know " 1362 01:24:49,830 --> 01:24:53,480 " Oh, Scotty doesn't know " 1363 01:24:53,530 --> 01:24:56,090 - Catchy tune. - Fuckin'-a, man. 1364 01:25:00,370 --> 01:25:03,760 " Fiona says she's out shopping " 1365 01:25:05,300 --> 01:25:10,000 " But she's under me And I'm not stopping " 1366 01:25:10,050 --> 01:25:14,140 Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! 1367 01:25:14,190 --> 01:25:15,660 Scotty doesn't know! 1368 01:25:15,670 --> 01:25:17,120 Hello 1369 01:25:17,160 --> 01:25:21,480 and welcome to Amsterdam's finest and most luxurious youth hostel. 1370 01:25:21,510 --> 01:25:22,860 Sounds great. 1371 01:25:22,950 --> 01:25:25,480 There is no bathroom, nor is there one nearby. 1372 01:25:25,550 --> 01:25:29,030 " I can't believe He's so trusting " 1373 01:25:31,660 --> 01:25:35,860 " While I'm right behind you thrusting " 1374 01:25:35,910 --> 01:25:37,830 - Get it? - She got it. 1375 01:25:37,880 --> 01:25:41,330 If you do not wish to have your valuables stolen, 1376 01:25:41,380 --> 01:25:45,280 I suggest destroying them or discarding them right now. 1377 01:25:45,370 --> 01:25:48,850 You can also try hiding your valuables... 1378 01:25:48,990 --> 01:25:50,390 in your anus. 1379 01:25:51,270 --> 01:25:52,040 Drink? 1380 01:25:57,400 --> 01:26:00,270 I'm gonna rip away his pants and look at his dick, OK? 1381 01:26:00,350 --> 01:26:02,400 - Ready? Quit. Shut up. 1382 01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,050 Sorry. I know I fucked it up. 1383 01:26:05,100 --> 01:26:07,360 Yes! You take her hair... 1384 01:26:07,410 --> 01:26:10,910 and one strand at a time, pull it out! 1385 01:26:10,990 --> 01:26:13,660 Use her like a humping post! 1386 01:26:13,730 --> 01:26:15,960 Jenny, this is Europe. 1387 01:26:16,030 --> 01:26:18,200 They have orange juice ads with lesbians and dildos. 1388 01:26:19,740 --> 01:26:23,120 "Happy juice." 1389 01:26:23,210 --> 01:26:25,090 You gotta show them something they haven't seen. 1390 01:26:25,180 --> 01:26:29,290 ♪ " Fiona's got him on the phone " ♪ 1391 01:26:29,380 --> 01:26:32,460 ♪ " And she's trying not to moan " ♪ 1392 01:26:32,550 --> 01:26:36,270 ♪ " It's a three Way call And he knows nothing " ♪ 1393 01:26:36,350 --> 01:26:38,270 ♪ " Nothing, Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1394 01:26:38,350 --> 01:26:41,300 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1395 01:26:41,330 --> 01:26:45,180 ♪ Should a fire occur, due to our faulty wiring, ♪ 1396 01:26:45,260 --> 01:26:49,940 ♪ or the fireworks factory upstairs, you will be incinerated, ♪ 1397 01:26:49,960 --> 01:26:52,930 ♪ along with the valuables you have hidden in your anus. ♪ 1398 01:26:52,990 --> 01:26:55,920 ♪ " So don't tell Scotty Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1399 01:26:56,110 --> 01:26:56,940 ♪ " Really want to go " ♪ 1400 01:26:56,990 --> 01:26:59,770 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1401 01:26:59,830 --> 01:27:03,000 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1402 01:27:03,880 --> 01:27:07,620 ♪ " The parking lot, why not? " ♪ 1403 01:27:07,670 --> 01:27:10,170 ♪ " It's so cool when you're on top " ♪ 1404 01:27:10,250 --> 01:27:13,120 1405 01:27:13,370 --> 01:27:15,850 " Life is so hard 'Cause Scotty doesn't know " 1406 01:27:15,890 --> 01:27:17,480 " Scotty doesn't know " 1407 01:27:17,560 --> 01:27:20,430 Fuck off! Get out of it, you wankers! 1408 01:27:20,480 --> 01:27:24,070 Go on, you gaelic fucking garlic-breath tossers! 1409 01:27:24,130 --> 01:27:26,550 Piss off! Get in here and say that, mate! 1410 01:27:26,640 --> 01:27:28,970 Come on! Fucking come and have it! 1411 01:27:29,160 --> 01:27:30,870 You fucking beep?! 1412 01:27:30,940 --> 01:27:33,840 We'll beep, you bastard, all over your fucking nose! 1413 01:27:33,890 --> 01:27:34,910 Fuck off! 1414 01:27:34,980 --> 01:27:36,950 Go on, you French bastards! 1415 01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:39,950 Get on the other side of the road, you pricks! 1416 01:27:40,020 --> 01:27:41,420 Go on out of it! 1417 01:27:41,480 --> 01:27:42,950 Fuck off! 1418 01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:44,670 I'm nackered. 1419 01:27:44,750 --> 01:27:46,840 League supporters. 1420 01:27:46,920 --> 01:27:49,590 " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " 1421 01:27:49,660 --> 01:27:52,260 - No, wait... 1422 01:27:57,800 --> 01:28:01,270 Hey! Check these out! I'm 18 years old. 1423 01:28:02,440 --> 01:28:04,910 ♪ " Gonna tell Scotty Gonna tell myself " ♪ 1424 01:28:04,960 --> 01:28:07,940 ♪ " Scotty has to know Scotty has to know " ♪ 1425 01:28:08,010 --> 01:28:10,530 ♪ " Scotty has to Scotty has to go " ♪ 1426 01:28:10,680 --> 01:28:12,847 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1427 01:28:13,706 --> 01:28:16,153 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1428 01:28:16,180 --> 01:28:18,540 ♪ " Scotty doesn't know Scotty doesn't know " ♪ 1429 01:28:18,620 --> 01:28:23,330 ♪ " Scotty doesn't Scotty doesn't Scotty doesn't..." ♪ 1430 01:28:23,380 --> 01:28:26,760 ♪ Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! ♪ 1431 01:28:26,810 --> 01:28:29,800 ♪ Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! ♪ 1432 01:28:29,870 --> 01:28:34,590 ♪ Scotty doesn't know! Scotty doesn't know! ♪ 1433 01:28:35,070 --> 01:28:36,560 ♪ Scotty's gotta go! ♪ 1434 01:29:36,980 --> 01:29:39,300 Is it off yet? 1435 01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:40,900 No. Keep rubbing it. 1436 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 98252