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1
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,909
Where in the...?
2
00:00:02,911 --> 00:00:07,446
No, I'm sure it was...
I swear, if that girl...
3
00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:10,516
- Lanaluakalani!
- Yes, Father?
4
00:00:10,518 --> 00:00:12,985
Come in here this very instant!
5
00:00:12,987 --> 00:00:16,055
I tell you, this is the last straw!
6
00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:18,457
- Pff.
- Do not "pff" me, woman!
7
00:00:18,459 --> 00:00:21,160
That child of yours has gone too far!
8
00:00:21,162 --> 00:00:24,596
I tell you, this time,
I shall really punish her!
9
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:28,667
- You called, Father?
- Where is it?!
10
00:00:28,669 --> 00:00:32,186
- Where is what?
- The map... to the sacred tupua!
11
00:00:32,221 --> 00:00:35,607
- Tupua?
- Oka atua, do not play dumb with me!
12
00:00:35,609 --> 00:00:39,010
You know exactly
what I am talking about, child.
13
00:00:39,012 --> 00:00:43,348
- Now where is it?!
- I'm sure I don't know.
14
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:46,217
And why would anyone want a map
to some moldy old statue?
15
00:00:46,219 --> 00:00:48,186
Because of its magical powers.
16
00:00:48,188 --> 00:00:51,907
- Oh, that's just a silly native legend.
- Do you even...?
17
00:00:51,908 --> 00:00:54,792
- We're natives!
- You know what I mean.
18
00:00:54,794 --> 00:00:59,129
I know what you think I mean.
I mean I...
19
00:00:59,131 --> 00:01:01,298
You know what I think?!
20
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,669
I think you made some sort
of deal with this ese Mai fafo,
21
00:01:04,671 --> 00:01:06,855
- the German.
- Whaaat?!
22
00:01:06,856 --> 00:01:11,476
Yes. And I think, in
your profound ignorance
23
00:01:11,478 --> 00:01:13,510
of the awesome power of the tupua,
24
00:01:13,512 --> 00:01:16,646
- you gave him the map!
- Whaaat?
25
00:01:16,648 --> 00:01:19,816
In exchange for enough money
to go live among the papalangi
26
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:24,754
in New York City again and open another...
What was it?
27
00:01:24,756 --> 00:01:26,756
- Failed art gallery?
- Oh, come on!
28
00:01:26,758 --> 00:01:29,460
There was this little thing
called The Great Depression!
29
00:01:29,462 --> 00:01:31,795
Well, and you don't know
anything about art.
30
00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:35,198
- I do so!
- Oh, please.
31
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,134
You thought the Dutch Masters
were just a kind of cigar.
32
00:01:38,136 --> 00:01:40,871
I told you that in confidence!
33
00:01:40,873 --> 00:01:42,472
You have raised a fool!
34
00:01:42,474 --> 00:01:44,808
Because the tupua is a legend
for a reason,
35
00:01:44,810 --> 00:01:47,443
and you have no idea of its power!
36
00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:51,247
And once that German snake
finds it, he will be long gone,
37
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,816
so I hope at least
he paid you in advance!
38
00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:57,166
Excuse me.
39
00:01:58,689 --> 00:02:01,857
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid!
40
00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,393
Well, if that sneaky
little schnitzel thinks
41
00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,428
he's gonna flimflam
Princess Lanaluakalani,
42
00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,130
he has got another thing...
43
00:02:16,507 --> 00:02:18,306
Are you out of your mind?!
44
00:02:18,308 --> 00:02:21,543
- Sacrebleu!
- Oh!
45
00:02:21,545 --> 00:02:24,212
What the hell is the matter
with you people?
46
00:02:24,214 --> 00:02:27,315
Ow! Well, I,
for one, am starving,
47
00:02:27,317 --> 00:02:31,353
so please tell me you have oysters.
48
00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:07,818
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
49
00:03:08,409 --> 00:03:10,743
9x06 - Some Remarks on Cannibalism
50
00:03:10,745 --> 00:03:13,412
Who the hell taught you
how to drive?!
51
00:03:13,414 --> 00:03:16,114
Me? Who the hell
taught him how to drive?
52
00:03:16,116 --> 00:03:18,884
Oh, for the...
53
00:03:18,886 --> 00:03:21,687
And where the hell were you
going in such a hurry?
54
00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:24,823
None of your beeswax.
Wait. Where were you going?
55
00:03:24,825 --> 00:03:26,892
- None of...
- We're searching for a sacred idol.
56
00:03:26,894 --> 00:03:28,327
- What?!
- Goddamn it!
57
00:03:28,329 --> 00:03:31,848
- No, you can' I... forbid it!
- Excuse me?
58
00:03:31,849 --> 00:03:34,900
I forbid it.
As princess, I forbid the looting
59
00:03:34,902 --> 00:03:39,938
of Mitimotu's cultural artifacts
by you, you... Europeans!
60
00:03:39,940 --> 00:03:42,473
- Code for "white."
- And what of it?
61
00:03:42,475 --> 00:03:44,409
And what color are your Germans, huh?
62
00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:47,012
Damn it, the Germans.
63
00:03:47,014 --> 00:03:48,946
- Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Hey. Whoa, whoa.
64
00:03:48,948 --> 00:03:52,116
- Where do you think you're going?
- To beat the Germans to the idol.
65
00:03:52,118 --> 00:03:54,319
No, we are gonna beat Archer to it.
66
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:57,355
- Archer?!
- Yes. So get in line, sister.
67
00:03:57,357 --> 00:03:59,457
Oh-ho, I'm at the head of it.
68
00:03:59,459 --> 00:04:02,193
Why you little...
Do something!
69
00:04:02,195 --> 00:04:05,129
I, uh... commandeer this v�hicule!
70
00:04:05,131 --> 00:04:07,998
You what?
71
00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:19,936
Woohoo!
72
00:04:19,938 --> 00:04:22,973
All right! Enough fun.
Now back to business.
73
00:04:22,975 --> 00:04:24,908
Ja, shooting those damn cannibals.
74
00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:27,944
- Remember, you promised we could.
- Don't worry, men.
75
00:04:27,946 --> 00:04:30,847
We will kill anyone who dares
to interfere with our mission
76
00:04:30,849 --> 00:04:33,449
to bring the ultimate power
to the Fatherland!
77
00:04:33,451 --> 00:04:35,051
Yeah!
78
00:04:35,053 --> 00:04:37,587
? It's a long way to Tipperary ?
79
00:04:37,589 --> 00:04:40,756
? It's a long way to go... ?
80
00:04:58,843 --> 00:05:02,845
All right, already. Come on!
We don't need all this junk.
81
00:05:02,847 --> 00:05:06,235
- That crate is just gin.
- And vermouth.
82
00:05:06,270 --> 00:05:07,249
Now move it, big boy.
83
00:05:07,251 --> 00:05:10,740
We can't let Sterling
beat us to that damn idol.
84
00:05:11,321 --> 00:05:14,022
- That won't be too hard.
- Goddamn it, bird!
85
00:05:14,024 --> 00:05:15,557
Because he's stuck in quicksand!
86
00:05:15,559 --> 00:05:16,624
- What? Where?
- Really?!
87
00:05:16,626 --> 00:05:18,060
Quicksand. Pam, too.
88
00:05:18,062 --> 00:05:20,695
And I don't know
how much time they have left.
89
00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:22,497
- Before...?
- They die!
90
00:05:22,499 --> 00:05:25,133
Do you think it's enough time
for us to toodle on over,
91
00:05:25,135 --> 00:05:28,364
grab the idol, and then
come back and save them?
92
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:30,805
- No!
- Don't get chippy with me, bird!
93
00:05:30,807 --> 00:05:32,740
I'm with her.
First we secure the idol,
94
00:05:32,742 --> 00:05:35,043
- and then we can rescue them.
- Exactly.
95
00:05:35,045 --> 00:05:37,046
For the love of God, woman!
96
00:05:37,047 --> 00:05:41,449
- Your son... is going... to die!
- Oh, all right.
97
00:05:41,451 --> 00:05:43,985
Take us to the damn quicksand.
98
00:05:43,987 --> 00:05:46,753
But I'll bet you dollars to
donuts, they've already escaped,
99
00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:50,198
found the idol,
and are just yucking it up!
100
00:05:56,935 --> 00:05:59,336
Don't!
Don't say a word.
101
00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,604
I'm mad enough at you as it is.
102
00:06:05,343 --> 00:06:08,879
I was gonna say I wonder
what I'm gonna taste like.
103
00:06:18,491 --> 00:06:21,191
'Cause this whole crazy thing's
kind of got me thinking
104
00:06:21,193 --> 00:06:24,762
about if I'd ever, you know,
like, eat a person.
105
00:06:24,764 --> 00:06:26,363
And not in a starvation-type deal,
106
00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:28,098
like the Donner Party or whatever.
107
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,466
That goes without saying.
108
00:06:29,468 --> 00:06:31,768
Your fat white ass is pioneer jerky.
109
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:34,771
I'm talking about
where you voluntarily eat a guy
110
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:37,974
like he's just damn dinner.
Or a woman.
111
00:06:37,976 --> 00:06:40,344
Ooh, or a teenage girl.
112
00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:41,978
But I wouldn't want her to get killed
113
00:06:41,980 --> 00:06:43,780
just so I could eat her,
so maybe... I don't know.
114
00:06:43,782 --> 00:06:46,850
What if it was one of these native
girl's confirmation or whatever?
115
00:06:46,852 --> 00:06:49,185
So she gets a ceremonial bath,
scrubbed head to toe,
116
00:06:49,187 --> 00:06:51,320
and then her whole body gets shaved.
117
00:06:51,322 --> 00:06:53,189
- Why...?
- Shut up. Let me finish.
118
00:06:53,191 --> 00:06:55,191
But then, on the way to the ceremony,
119
00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:57,060
this tender, hairless young thing
120
00:06:57,062 --> 00:06:59,328
has a massive
yet painless brain aneurysm
121
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:02,032
and falls into a vat of braising liquid.
122
00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:04,795
- Why the hell would...
- Wow!
123
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:05,334
- What the...?
- Huh?
124
00:07:05,336 --> 00:07:07,403
You just described,
almost word for word,
125
00:07:07,405 --> 00:07:10,406
what's gonna happen to you guys
over the next two days.
126
00:07:10,408 --> 00:07:12,408
I mean,
is that goose bumps or what?
127
00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:14,410
- Who...?
- E-Except for the aneurysm.
128
00:07:14,412 --> 00:07:17,149
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm Noah.
129
00:07:17,184 --> 00:07:20,348
- Besso ekla baht!
- Ek eklan oki.
130
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:24,453
- Wait, you speak their language?
- Uh, yeah, I should hope so.
131
00:07:24,455 --> 00:07:26,889
I mean, I've been here
almost four years now, so...
132
00:07:26,891 --> 00:07:29,491
Four years?!
So there's no way to escape?
133
00:07:29,493 --> 00:07:32,895
Um... Well, I suppose, I...
Well, there's probably...
134
00:07:32,897 --> 00:07:34,496
Oh, gosh. I mean...
135
00:07:34,498 --> 00:07:36,298
- I don't know.
- What do you mean
136
00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:38,300
you don't know, idiot?
Haven't you even tried?
137
00:07:38,302 --> 00:07:40,835
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm not their captive.
138
00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:43,838
I'm doing my doctoral
dissertation on the Mua Mua.
139
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,173
I'm an anthropologist.
140
00:07:45,175 --> 00:07:47,842
- Wh... A spider scientist?
- What?
141
00:07:47,844 --> 00:07:49,177
That's an arachnologist.
142
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:51,179
- Like you would know!
- No, no, it is.
143
00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:54,315
- An anthropologist...
- I know what an anthropologist is.
144
00:07:54,317 --> 00:07:56,050
- No, he doesn't.
- Nobody does!
145
00:07:56,052 --> 00:07:59,921
An anthropologist studies human beings
and their societies and cultures.
146
00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:01,522
The Mua Mua, for example...
147
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:04,592
- Zakila gizona.
- Ek ezan oki!
148
00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:06,260
...are assholes.
149
00:08:06,262 --> 00:08:08,129
Yeah, right?
So then how 'bout it, man?
150
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,863
- Help us escape.
- Yeah.
151
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,599
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I couldn't do that.
152
00:08:11,601 --> 00:08:14,335
I-I'm here to document.
I can't interfere.
153
00:08:14,337 --> 00:08:17,338
- What?!
- Even after they ate your goddamn arm?
154
00:08:17,340 --> 00:08:19,273
Oh. Yeah.
155
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,609
- Man, that was really...
- Eggelak!
156
00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:23,210
Dongay emakume!
157
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:27,213
- What is she saying?
- That I taste like chicken.
158
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:31,484
Which, to them, is, like, the worst.
159
00:08:31,486 --> 00:08:33,525
- What the...?
- What's that?
160
00:08:33,543 --> 00:08:36,183
Oh. Uh, okay.
Uh, well, I got to go.
161
00:08:36,218 --> 00:08:38,559
Uh, maybe I'll see you guys
later or maybe not. Okay, bye!
162
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,261
- Wait, what was that?!
- Nothing!
163
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,597
I think it was something.
164
00:08:44,599 --> 00:08:46,399
- No shit.
- Yep.
165
00:08:46,401 --> 00:08:48,401
Well, if we get out
of this alive somehow,
166
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:51,137
we should definitely open
a detective agency.
167
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,406
Ooh!
168
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,888
Aw, damn, but we're not
getting out alive, huh?
169
00:08:56,923 --> 00:08:57,977
Nope.
170
00:08:57,979 --> 00:09:00,646
Well?
Where the hell are they, bird?
171
00:09:00,648 --> 00:09:04,249
I-I don't get it. They were right
here, up to their necks in it!
172
00:09:04,251 --> 00:09:07,252
- I ought to wring your neck!
- This was all just a ruse.
173
00:09:07,254 --> 00:09:09,168
- What? A ruse?
- Oh, come on.
174
00:09:09,190 --> 00:09:10,656
- A ruse?
- He set me up!
175
00:09:10,658 --> 00:09:13,358
This mite-riddled bird's just stalling us
176
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,460
so that Sterling can
get to the idol first.
177
00:09:15,462 --> 00:09:16,562
- Damn it, bird!
- Seriously?
178
00:09:16,564 --> 00:09:19,064
No! Whoa!
First of all, I am...
179
00:09:19,066 --> 00:09:23,602
almost mite-free.
And, B, I swear, they were right here.
180
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:25,604
Oh, go eat worms.
Come on, Reynaud,
181
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:27,606
we can still beat him if we hurry.
182
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:31,576
Look, there's boot prints
coming up out of the quicksand.
183
00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:33,211
- Really?
- No! - Ah, yes!
184
00:09:33,213 --> 00:09:35,880
And here's another set of boot prints.
185
00:09:35,882 --> 00:09:37,215
And over there, there...
186
00:09:37,217 --> 00:09:39,918
there's all these different
sets of bare footprints.
187
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,253
Pretty muscular, by the looks of them.
188
00:09:42,255 --> 00:09:44,189
- Muscular?
- And here,
189
00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:48,392
this trail is two barefoot men,
carrying a load between them,
190
00:09:48,394 --> 00:09:50,094
probably on, like,
a pole or something.
191
00:09:50,096 --> 00:09:51,929
See, they're, like, six feet apart.
192
00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:54,298
- That's about the size of a man.
- Or a party sub.
193
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,400
- Look, can we just...
- Shut up!
194
00:09:56,402 --> 00:09:59,437
- Do you think it was...?
- Yes! It was clearly Archer.
195
00:09:59,439 --> 00:10:02,324
And then here's a trail of four men
carrying a much,
196
00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:05,175
- much heavier load.
- Ooh, which I bet was Pam.
197
00:10:05,177 --> 00:10:08,545
Mon dieu, can it be Les cannibales?
198
00:10:08,547 --> 00:10:10,480
Oh, my God.
199
00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:12,349
Well, but since they're
out of the quicksand...
200
00:10:12,351 --> 00:10:16,220
And about to be eaten! We have to
follow this trail and rescue them.
201
00:10:16,222 --> 00:10:18,155
No. No, no.
Uh-uh.
202
00:10:18,157 --> 00:10:20,390
As your princess, I demand
we get the idol first.
203
00:10:20,392 --> 00:10:22,325
As whose princess?
204
00:10:22,327 --> 00:10:23,360
- Yeah, right?
- Exactement!
205
00:10:23,362 --> 00:10:25,528
Et tu, Doudou?
206
00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:29,683
So we're just gonna go gallivanting
through this deadly jungle
207
00:10:29,684 --> 00:10:32,869
because this dodo says
she can see a trail?
208
00:10:32,871 --> 00:10:34,971
Do you seriously not?
It's so obvious.
209
00:10:34,973 --> 00:10:38,274
Then let's go.
Come on, Lady Baltimore.
210
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:45,782
Ew, look!
This guy has ringworm.
211
00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:47,876
So, where do you think
everybody went?
212
00:10:47,878 --> 00:10:49,412
Who knows?
Probably taking a vote
213
00:10:49,414 --> 00:10:51,981
- on what sides to serve us with.
- Ooh...
214
00:10:51,983 --> 00:10:53,816
But I'm not sticking around
to find out.
215
00:10:53,818 --> 00:10:55,884
Well, unless you know
something I don't...
216
00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:59,354
- What, besides everything?
- Oh, hardy-har.
217
00:10:59,356 --> 00:11:03,158
Including, look, there's a piece
of, uh, whatchamacallit. Ob-Obsidian.
218
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,127
- So?
- So we can cut the ropes with it, dummy.
219
00:11:06,129 --> 00:11:09,565
If I can just scrooch
down the pole, I can...
220
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:12,067
- Get a splinter in your ass?
- I'm not gonna get a...
221
00:11:14,271 --> 00:11:15,803
Goddamn it.
222
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,840
We'll see how funny...
you think it is
223
00:11:18,842 --> 00:11:20,842
when I leave you here.
224
00:11:20,844 --> 00:11:22,110
Oh...
225
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:23,945
Does that mean
we're not getting married?
226
00:11:23,947 --> 00:11:25,447
You know, first of all, that was...
227
00:11:25,449 --> 00:11:28,883
- I just wanted you to die happy.
- Ha!
228
00:11:28,885 --> 00:11:30,585
And, two, I'm about this close
229
00:11:30,587 --> 00:11:32,553
to getting a new goddamn sidekick.
230
00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:36,190
- How is this Crackers's fault?
- Wha... Not Crackers!
231
00:11:36,192 --> 00:11:38,860
- You.
- You think I'm the sidekick?
232
00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:41,258
Yes, Lennie!
233
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:44,461
- Well?
- Cut me loose.
234
00:11:44,463 --> 00:11:49,600
- I will, but only because I choose to.
- Well, bully for you.
235
00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:51,368
And, while you're at it,
236
00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:53,637
you can leave one hand
tied behind my back.
237
00:11:53,639 --> 00:11:56,039
- Why?
- So I can whip your ass fairly.
238
00:11:56,041 --> 00:11:58,375
Oh, my God, you are such a Lennie.
239
00:11:58,377 --> 00:12:00,576
Well, if we get out of this bullshit...
240
00:12:00,578 --> 00:12:04,180
If we do, it's only because I
unleashed the power of obsidian.
241
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:07,350
You won't have old Pam
to kick around anymore because...
242
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:10,720
Shh. Stop. Stop it.
Stop cutting.
243
00:12:10,722 --> 00:12:12,522
What?
244
00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:17,026
- Is your dick hard?
- No.
245
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:21,664
Then what... is touching...
my ass?
246
00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:24,500
- Also nothing.
- Oh, for the... Ew!
247
00:12:24,502 --> 00:12:27,670
- No, no, no, no, no, no. Wait.
- Dude, that is a hard dick.
248
00:12:27,672 --> 00:12:31,707
- It's not that hard.
- Oh, please. I bet it hasn't been that hard
249
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,876
since the time the Army
checked you for a hernia.
250
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,546
- I told you that in confidence.
- Yeah? Well, I ain't your priest.
251
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:40,649
Speaking of hard dicks...
252
00:12:40,651 --> 00:12:43,385
I also told you that in confidence!
253
00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:50,915
Oh, don't flatter
yourself, it was just a reflex.
254
00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:53,952
- Uh-huh.
- An involuntary biological response
255
00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:55,820
to physical and visual stimuli.
256
00:12:55,822 --> 00:12:58,356
Well, then I hope to God this helps.
257
00:12:58,358 --> 00:13:01,626
- Ka-kow.
- Yeah, that's... wait.
258
00:13:01,628 --> 00:13:04,662
- What's the opposite of stimuli?
- That.
259
00:13:04,664 --> 00:13:08,066
It's not supposed to be sexy, it's
protective. In case there's thorns.
260
00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:11,269
- Okay, Master Coconut.
- Nobody gets that.
261
00:13:11,271 --> 00:13:13,937
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do you think you're doing?
262
00:13:13,939 --> 00:13:15,072
Making pi�a coladas.
263
00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:16,874
What the hell's it
look like we're doing?
264
00:13:16,876 --> 00:13:20,678
- Uhh... I genuinely don't know.
- We're escaping.
265
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,281
Wait, what? No. No, you can't.
I'll be punished.
266
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:26,950
- Not if you're dead.
- Well, you say that...
267
00:13:26,952 --> 00:13:28,886
Hey, buddy, no shit, she will kill you
268
00:13:28,888 --> 00:13:30,921
- like an innocent baby rabbit.
- Goddamn it.
269
00:13:30,923 --> 00:13:34,691
So what's the best way out of here?
270
00:13:34,693 --> 00:13:36,894
Well, that's the thing,
there isn't one now.
271
00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:40,563
The conch is telling the Mua Mua
warriors to prepare for battle.
272
00:13:40,565 --> 00:13:41,865
- What, why?
- Well, apparently,
273
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:44,967
a scout saw another group of warriors
headed toward the village.
274
00:13:44,969 --> 00:13:46,969
What other warriors?
275
00:13:46,971 --> 00:13:50,607
I swear to God, if those
cannibals don't have a bar,
276
00:13:50,609 --> 00:13:54,544
- I may literally die.
- Oh, my God, at an oyster bar.
277
00:13:54,546 --> 00:13:57,681
I can pretty much guarantee they
don't have either of those things.
278
00:13:57,683 --> 00:14:00,016
Savages.
279
00:14:00,018 --> 00:14:01,684
Well, you two idiots
can stick around
280
00:14:01,686 --> 00:14:03,652
to find out and then get eaten,
281
00:14:03,654 --> 00:14:05,855
but I'm gonna go find
that goddamn idol.
282
00:14:05,857 --> 00:14:08,958
Wait. What idol?
You mean the tupua?
283
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,028
- Whatever it's called, I...
- How do you know where it is?
284
00:14:12,030 --> 00:14:13,562
We got a map.
285
00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:16,031
- Whoa.
- A secret map, that is a secret!
286
00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:18,833
- Who's he gonna tell?
- Oh, man.
287
00:14:18,868 --> 00:14:22,527
The tupua would be the greatest
archaeological find of the-the...
288
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,507
well, probably just the past
couple of years, but still.
289
00:14:25,509 --> 00:14:26,775
Still what?
You're not coming.
290
00:14:26,777 --> 00:14:30,118
- Oh, come on, I-I know the jungle.
- No.
291
00:14:30,153 --> 00:14:33,215
I-I can read any native
petroglyphs we might find.
292
00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:35,063
- No, I said.
- I know how to get past
293
00:14:35,190 --> 00:14:37,808
all the giant boulders
and poison darts and stuff.
294
00:14:39,156 --> 00:14:40,688
The... do what, now?
295
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:42,324
- Yeah, do huh?
- Oh, man.
296
00:14:42,326 --> 00:14:44,826
Yeah, the legends all say
the tupua is hidden
297
00:14:44,828 --> 00:14:46,694
deep inside a labyrinth
of shafts and tunnels,
298
00:14:46,696 --> 00:14:49,096
just packed with deadly booby traps.
299
00:14:49,098 --> 00:14:52,099
- So...
- That's why you got to know your petroglyphs.
300
00:14:52,101 --> 00:14:54,635
Okay, change of plans,
you're coming with us.
301
00:14:54,637 --> 00:14:57,372
Yeah!
Oh, wait, h-hang on. Hang on.
302
00:14:57,374 --> 00:15:01,676
I-I don't, I don't have to wear
one of those, do I?
303
00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:04,379
And can we stop
and rest a while?
304
00:15:04,381 --> 00:15:06,380
I think my electrolyte levels are low.
305
00:15:06,382 --> 00:15:08,883
- Gin levels.
- Also.
306
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:11,085
No, I think we're getting close
to a village or something.
307
00:15:11,087 --> 00:15:13,153
Look, there's a ton
of footprints around here.
308
00:15:15,124 --> 00:15:17,324
Plus, this?
309
00:15:17,326 --> 00:15:22,763
Well, as long as we're close.
310
00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:24,998
Please, I can't leave
without my dissertation.
311
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,734
- Yes, you can, now come on.
- It's four years of writing.
312
00:15:27,736 --> 00:15:29,636
Plus, I had to make
the paper from scratch.
313
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,140
- Ay!
- Oh, shit!
314
00:15:31,175 --> 00:15:31,938
- Oh, my God!
- Kekkozat?
315
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,907
- What, oh, no, shh.
- Kekkozat!
316
00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:35,776
- No. Shh.
- Punch her in the face.
317
00:15:35,778 --> 00:15:37,210
- What?
- Kekkozat!
318
00:15:37,212 --> 00:15:38,311
- Punch her in the face.
- Kekkozat!
319
00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,979
I can't punch an old lady in... ow!
320
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,949
- Dongay ekakume!
- Whoa.
321
00:15:42,951 --> 00:15:44,650
- Yeah, not cool.
- What?
322
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,585
- But you just told me to...
- Lakundu!
323
00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:48,955
Lakundu! Lakundu!
324
00:15:50,858 --> 00:15:52,825
Now can we go, please?
325
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,027
But my dissertation...
326
00:15:55,029 --> 00:15:56,929
actually had kind of a weak premise.
327
00:15:56,931 --> 00:16:00,232
Ketak.
Ketakalak.
328
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,336
Batu! Batu, Batu!
329
00:16:06,607 --> 00:16:09,642
Goddamn it!
Eat a dick, cannibals.
330
00:16:09,644 --> 00:16:12,044
It's funny you say that.
331
00:16:12,046 --> 00:16:14,246
- Actually...
- It's a figure of speech, Noah.
332
00:16:14,248 --> 00:16:17,149
- No, let him finish.
- Oh, my God.
333
00:16:17,151 --> 00:16:19,584
I was gonna say
that they don't eat the penis.
334
00:16:19,586 --> 00:16:21,686
The testicles, though...
335
00:16:21,688 --> 00:16:24,222
- Nok geziak!
- Lakana.
336
00:16:32,265 --> 00:16:33,932
In there.
337
00:16:33,934 --> 00:16:38,035
Schmidt!
Was dauert so Lange?
338
00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:40,572
Weil mein Schwanz so Lang ist.
339
00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:41,906
Nun beeile dich!
340
00:16:41,908 --> 00:16:45,909
Ja, ja.
Komm runter, Junge.
341
00:17:02,695 --> 00:17:04,895
Seriously?
342
00:17:04,897 --> 00:17:08,866
- Scheisse.
- Was, hast Du auf deine Schue gepisst?
343
00:17:10,836 --> 00:17:13,136
Schmidt?
344
00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:14,905
What the hell?
Why did you do that?
345
00:17:14,907 --> 00:17:16,974
- Guys?
- What? He was gonna wipe them out.
346
00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:20,193
- Yeah, problem solved.
- Guys.
347
00:17:20,228 --> 00:17:22,112
- What?
- What?!
348
00:17:24,316 --> 00:17:28,751
- He wants us to come with him.
- Gee, thanks, Noah.
349
00:17:28,753 --> 00:17:30,586
Oh, you're welcome.
350
00:17:32,524 --> 00:17:37,159
Zwei Männer,
gehen und finden Schmidt.
351
00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,655
Eh? Zakila koko?
352
00:17:39,657 --> 00:17:42,658
He wants to know why you stuffed
your genitals into a coconut.
353
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:45,460
Because I hate this goddamn island.
354
00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:50,569
Zu Laguna Mua Mua.
355
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,204
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
He says you saved their lives,
356
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,674
so now you're friends of the Mua Mua.
357
00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:57,938
Batu baruka zu zaku.
358
00:17:57,973 --> 00:18:01,173
And that together,
we will kill these white devils.
359
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:02,307
Nik andu.
360
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,883
- Uh, no offense.
- None taken?
361
00:18:04,885 --> 00:18:06,551
Teko besta.
362
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,519
And then, we'll have a huge feast.
363
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,588
Ekari zim.
364
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,715
- Oh, my gosh, really? Wow.
- What?
365
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,362
Ah, well, he said even I could come.
366
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:21,814
- Do you not normally go to the feasts?
- Oh, no, no. God, no.
367
00:18:21,909 --> 00:18:25,447
They're... super racist.
368
00:18:27,572 --> 00:18:31,207
Well, guess you can find out
what a human being tastes like after all.
369
00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:33,710
Oh, man, and this
is probably gonna sound weird,
370
00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:37,594
- but I could kind of eat.
- A person?
371
00:18:37,629 --> 00:18:40,336
Not a whole person, asshole.
372
00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:44,129
But maybe, like, a drumstick?
373
00:18:46,423 --> 00:18:50,624
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