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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,076 --> 00:00:04,792 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:13,768 --> 00:00:16,136 - What? - No. Nothing. 3 00:00:16,137 --> 00:00:18,200 Flies like a dream. 4 00:00:19,799 --> 00:00:23,341 Well, she did before you crashed her into a goddamn street 5 00:00:23,343 --> 00:00:25,510 anybody with the sense God gave a goddamn duck 6 00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:28,046 could tell was nowhere near wide enough. 7 00:00:28,048 --> 00:00:31,383 - Ugh, ducks. - Don't start your racist bullshit. 8 00:00:31,384 --> 00:00:33,217 - You know I'm right. - And I'm in no mood. 9 00:00:33,219 --> 00:00:34,687 In some kind of mood. 10 00:00:34,688 --> 00:00:36,720 Yeah, you want to guess why? 11 00:00:36,722 --> 00:00:38,923 - Sterling? - Like in general, or... 12 00:00:38,924 --> 00:00:40,058 - Bird. - Sterling! 13 00:00:40,059 --> 00:00:43,061 What?! Sorry. What can I do for you? 14 00:00:43,062 --> 00:00:46,397 Well, you can start by watching that tone, mister. 15 00:00:46,399 --> 00:00:49,267 And then, you can tell me why I'm looking at the package 16 00:00:49,269 --> 00:00:51,769 you were supposed to fly to Tahiti today. 17 00:00:51,771 --> 00:00:53,904 Oh, did I not do that? 18 00:00:53,906 --> 00:00:58,776 Do I need to remind you just who exactly owns that flying crate? 19 00:00:59,945 --> 00:01:04,281 So wherever you idiots are, and whatever idiocy you're up to... 20 00:01:04,283 --> 00:01:05,684 - I... - I don't think idiots 21 00:01:05,685 --> 00:01:07,851 know how to find a million dollar treasure. 22 00:01:07,853 --> 00:01:09,187 A what?! 23 00:01:09,188 --> 00:01:10,688 What'd she say, what treasure? 24 00:01:10,689 --> 00:01:14,024 What are you two up to? Sterling? 25 00:01:14,025 --> 00:01:15,792 Because you're both company employees 26 00:01:15,794 --> 00:01:19,929 using company resources on company time, and so, legally, 27 00:01:19,931 --> 00:01:23,333 anything of value, be it monetary or otherwise, 28 00:01:23,335 --> 00:01:25,802 that you may happen to make, find, stumble upon, 29 00:01:25,804 --> 00:01:27,204 or otherwise obt... 30 00:01:29,774 --> 00:01:32,208 I, uh, probably shouldn't have said anything, huh? 31 00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:35,812 - Yeah, but was that necessary? - No, Crackers, it wasn't. 32 00:01:35,814 --> 00:01:38,347 In fact, it was wildly unnecessary. 33 00:01:38,349 --> 00:01:41,650 Like radish roses, or Pam running her fat mouth. 34 00:01:41,652 --> 00:01:43,820 - I like radish roses. - Right? 35 00:01:43,821 --> 00:01:45,322 - Typical. - Of what? 36 00:01:45,323 --> 00:01:47,790 Of assholes. Now get out your shitty map 37 00:01:47,791 --> 00:01:49,426 and get us to that goddamn idol 38 00:01:49,427 --> 00:01:51,594 so I can lie to my mother about finding it, 39 00:01:51,596 --> 00:01:55,163 and begin living a life of luxury where she can't find me. 40 00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:58,066 Okay. God. And it's not a shitty map. 41 00:01:58,068 --> 00:01:59,235 It'll take us right to the idol. 42 00:01:59,236 --> 00:02:01,924 Just set old Lucy down in Dead Man's Cove. 43 00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:04,724 Seriously? What, did somebody have dibs 44 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:10,331 - on Foreshadowing Lagoon? - Hmm. It doesn't say. 45 00:02:43,438 --> 00:02:46,485 9x05 - Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves 46 00:02:52,569 --> 00:02:54,435 I just want to reiterate 47 00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:57,205 that I think it was a pretty bad idea to shoot the radio. 48 00:02:57,207 --> 00:02:59,507 Jesus, talk about foreshadowing. 49 00:02:59,509 --> 00:03:01,542 Yeah, or don't. In fact, how about you two 50 00:03:01,544 --> 00:03:03,111 don't talk about any... 51 00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:07,351 - What the hell was that? - Maybe howler monkeys? 52 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,556 Hopefully howler monkeys? 53 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:15,626 Yeah, except howler monkeys only live in Central and South America. 54 00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,262 Not only. Monkeys live everywhere. 55 00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,430 - No, they... - Shut up. 56 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:21,832 One time, I saw a monkey in a bar, in Paris, France, Europe. 57 00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:23,900 - Wha...? - Dressed as a teeny tiny waiter. 58 00:03:23,902 --> 00:03:27,538 Well, then I obviously stand corrected. 59 00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:30,541 - Yeah. Like an idiot. - I'm sorry? 60 00:03:30,542 --> 00:03:33,410 - Hello. Breakfast? - Oh, do tell. 61 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:35,579 I will have a crispy golden Belgian waffle, 62 00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:37,447 drizzled with melted Belgian chocolate, 63 00:03:37,449 --> 00:03:40,283 with a side of Belgian endive. 64 00:03:40,285 --> 00:03:42,185 And I feel like I'd feel a lot better 65 00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:44,053 if you were maybe writing this down. 66 00:03:44,055 --> 00:03:46,623 No need, that's just The King Leopold. 67 00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:50,494 Really? That's, like, a dish you have? 68 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:55,631 Oh, sarcasm. Well, then I'll just have champagne. 69 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:57,801 - Fresh out. - Can you check again? 70 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,702 Or, I could have the Germans rip up 71 00:03:59,704 --> 00:04:02,671 the walls and floors helping you look? 72 00:04:02,673 --> 00:04:08,165 - What kind? - Mm... most expensive. 73 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:12,715 Speaking of which, has Sterling mentioned anything to you 74 00:04:12,717 --> 00:04:16,519 about coming into some money, or, say... 75 00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:18,353 treasure? 76 00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:21,056 Oh, you mean since the night he defiled my young, supple body, 77 00:04:21,058 --> 00:04:24,359 destroyed my marriage, and sentenced me to a life of shame? 78 00:04:24,361 --> 00:04:28,463 Or whenever. And why the hell are you in here?! 79 00:04:28,465 --> 00:04:31,634 - Uh, breakfast? - Not in here. You're 86'd. 80 00:04:31,635 --> 00:04:33,402 But I'm very hungry, 81 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:36,671 and for some verdammt reason, Luigi is not open. 82 00:04:36,673 --> 00:04:41,376 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... 83 00:04:41,378 --> 00:04:45,212 I also overheard you mention something about hidden treasure? 84 00:04:45,214 --> 00:04:47,549 - Nope. - And also, I could not help 85 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:50,384 but notice you have there a map of the island? 86 00:04:50,386 --> 00:04:52,319 - Nope. - And so, naturally, I wonder 87 00:04:52,321 --> 00:04:55,490 if you think there is some treasure hidden somewhere on the island. 88 00:04:55,491 --> 00:04:58,225 Like in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson? 89 00:04:58,227 --> 00:04:59,927 "Weir of Hermiston?" 90 00:04:59,929 --> 00:05:01,929 Wha...? Nein, Treasure Island. 91 00:05:01,931 --> 00:05:03,631 I don't know all his goddamn books! 92 00:05:03,632 --> 00:05:06,200 - Move! - But what I know 93 00:05:06,202 --> 00:05:09,270 is that unless you want Manu to scramble your eggs... 94 00:05:09,272 --> 00:05:12,407 Yeah, I would love some scrambled... Oh, I see. 95 00:05:12,408 --> 00:05:14,341 You mean my testicles. 96 00:05:14,343 --> 00:05:18,011 Schreckliche Stadt zum Frühstück. 97 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,847 Well? Which way, "insert obscure reference 98 00:05:20,849 --> 00:05:22,216 to a famous cartographer"? 99 00:05:22,217 --> 00:05:24,586 - Ooh, Hendrik Hondius? - Sure. Pam? 100 00:05:24,587 --> 00:05:27,354 - I don't know who that is. - No. Which way? 101 00:05:27,355 --> 00:05:30,190 Okay, so... okay, so, the thing is... 102 00:05:30,192 --> 00:05:32,859 Give me that. Oh, my God. 103 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:35,096 - Is that... shit? - What? 104 00:05:35,097 --> 00:05:38,299 - Ew! - No, dumb-ass. It's barbecue sauce. 105 00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,166 - Wha...? - Kansas City or Carolina? 106 00:05:40,168 --> 00:05:43,270 - What am I, an asshole? - Already established, and so, 107 00:05:43,271 --> 00:05:44,838 what was already the world's worst map 108 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:47,273 you somehow made even worse by... 109 00:05:47,275 --> 00:05:48,609 Wait, where'd you get barbecue? 110 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:50,310 - What? - I haven't had barbecue 111 00:05:50,311 --> 00:05:52,377 since we left Spain, where the hell did you get it? 112 00:05:52,379 --> 00:05:54,047 - Oh. Uh... - Pam. 113 00:05:54,048 --> 00:05:55,381 - Look, it's not... - Oh, my God. 114 00:05:55,382 --> 00:05:56,617 - Did you... - Oh, no. 115 00:05:56,618 --> 00:05:57,751 Eat a person? 116 00:05:57,752 --> 00:05:59,719 - What? No! - Ew! 117 00:05:59,721 --> 00:06:02,388 - Then, where'd you get barbecue? - I didn't. 118 00:06:02,389 --> 00:06:04,289 Then why'd you have barbecue sauce? 119 00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:06,191 I don't... I mean, I've been drinking it. 120 00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:07,360 - What? - Oh, for the... 121 00:06:07,361 --> 00:06:09,562 As an aperitif. Happy? 122 00:06:09,563 --> 00:06:13,299 - Happy you drink barbecue sauce? - It's basically V8. 123 00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:15,134 It's brown sugar and ketchup. 124 00:06:15,136 --> 00:06:18,338 - Goddamn it, which way, Pam? - That way. 125 00:06:18,339 --> 00:06:21,506 - You're sure? - Positive. 126 00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:23,441 Well, you totally sold that. 127 00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:24,744 I'm gonna miss that dopey confidence 128 00:06:24,745 --> 00:06:27,445 once we find this damn idol... 129 00:06:27,447 --> 00:06:28,681 - What the...? - Archer? 130 00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:31,650 Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh! Ugh! 131 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:35,821 - Oh... - Archer? 132 00:06:35,822 --> 00:06:38,223 - Be careful. - Thanks, dummy. 133 00:06:38,224 --> 00:06:42,360 - Eh. - Oh, shit. It's a big, steep-ass ravine. 134 00:06:42,362 --> 00:06:44,495 Okay, I'm gonna have to rappel down. 135 00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:45,830 Should I come with you? 136 00:06:45,831 --> 00:06:50,001 - Yeah. Or your dumb ass could fly. - Oh, right. 137 00:06:57,643 --> 00:07:00,945 - Come on, you got it, just hurry up. - Why, is he hurt? 138 00:07:00,946 --> 00:07:02,380 - No, but... - Shut up. 139 00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:06,249 - Archer? You okay? - Uh, yeah, currently. 140 00:07:08,029 --> 00:07:10,655 What do you mean, "currently"? 141 00:07:10,656 --> 00:07:13,056 Holy shitsnacks! 142 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,592 - Yeah. - Quicksand! 143 00:07:15,594 --> 00:07:21,023 Yeah. And that's still going on. 144 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:24,179 Which... so great. 145 00:07:27,617 --> 00:07:30,617 You can not be serious. Archer? 146 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:31,885 Is out there looking for the idol? 147 00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:33,253 How does he even know where to look? 148 00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:35,287 Well, I have no way to know this, but, uh... 149 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:38,791 But meanwhile, instead of searching the jungle for the idol, 150 00:07:38,793 --> 00:07:40,659 your men are getting drunk every night 151 00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,729 and shtupping the crazy coconut lady. 152 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,731 They are really möndsuchtig. 153 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,051 - "Moonstruck"? - Moonstruck. 154 00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,935 - Besotted. - I know what it means. 155 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,804 But I can't help wonder if Japanese soldiers 156 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,906 wouldn't be much more disciplined. 157 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,910 All right. I get your point. I will find it. 158 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,011 Now, how about a little frühstück, 159 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,782 - my little passion fruit? - Not until you pay me for the idol. 160 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:07,618 Oh, but that makes our relationship sound so transactional. 161 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,654 It is transactional. 162 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,990 I know, but it hurts to hear it. 163 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:17,048 No idol, no money, no fruit. 164 00:08:17,863 --> 00:08:22,366 Deine Freizeit. Ist kaputt! 165 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,868 Erste Sache, nicht mehr mit deiser 166 00:08:24,870 --> 00:08:28,138 verrückten Kokosnussfrau shtuppen! 167 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,708 Was willst Du? 168 00:08:29,709 --> 00:08:32,176 Uh, we were wondering if, perhaps, as a group, 169 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,444 we could speak English? 170 00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:35,378 - Yeah, English. - Warum? 171 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:38,748 Well, as you call her, this "crazy coconut lady," 172 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,885 does not speak German, so we would like to practice English. 173 00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:43,722 - Yeah. - Why not? 174 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:44,655 Why, do you think this woman 175 00:08:44,656 --> 00:08:46,824 would ever marry one of you dummkopfen? 176 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,795 - I mean... - Fine. English, then. 177 00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:52,363 We march today into the jungle, 178 00:08:52,364 --> 00:08:54,230 where we will search for and find, 179 00:08:54,232 --> 00:08:58,535 something vital to the future of our great fatherland. 180 00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:02,305 But the jungle is very dangerous, full of lizards 181 00:09:02,307 --> 00:09:05,208 and snakes and cannibals and what else, Gott weiß? 182 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:08,145 - Can we shoot the lizards and snakes? - Yes, of course. 183 00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:11,881 - Can we shoot the cannibals? - You can shoot anything you want! 184 00:09:11,883 --> 00:09:13,850 Now are there any other questions? 185 00:09:15,820 --> 00:09:17,854 That are not about shooting things? 186 00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:19,889 Then, let's go. 187 00:09:19,891 --> 00:09:21,890 The American pilots may have a head start on us. 188 00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:24,860 They also may be smarter than they look. 189 00:09:24,862 --> 00:09:27,136 Because get the hell off me, bird! 190 00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:28,748 But I'm hugging you, with my talons. 191 00:09:28,783 --> 00:09:30,065 - Why? - 'Cause I'm here for you. 192 00:09:30,067 --> 00:09:32,067 Well, "be here" somewhere else. 193 00:09:32,069 --> 00:09:34,370 Yeesh. With friends like you. 194 00:09:34,372 --> 00:09:36,805 Case in point, what'd you mean when you said 195 00:09:36,807 --> 00:09:38,874 you were gonna miss me once we found the idol? 196 00:09:38,876 --> 00:09:40,409 I... can we talk about this later? 197 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,744 No. Why'd you say you'd miss me? 198 00:09:42,746 --> 00:09:44,046 I... look, you're gonna miss me 199 00:09:44,047 --> 00:09:45,881 if I drown in this goddamn quicksand. 200 00:09:45,883 --> 00:09:49,717 Yeah, try not to thrash around, it makes you sink faster. 201 00:09:49,719 --> 00:09:51,954 - How would you know? - Cowboy movies. 202 00:09:51,955 --> 00:09:53,688 Can you please just get me out of here? 203 00:09:53,690 --> 00:09:55,123 And how's this even supposed to work? 204 00:09:55,124 --> 00:09:56,725 Oh, my God, Elisha Otis, 205 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:59,093 you throw the rope over that branch up there. 206 00:09:59,095 --> 00:10:01,562 I catch the rope, I hold onto the rope. 207 00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:04,332 You hold on to your end of the rope, and then you pull me to safety. 208 00:10:04,333 --> 00:10:06,267 But wait, I mean, I can't pull you out 209 00:10:06,269 --> 00:10:10,371 - if you weigh more than I do. - Excuse me? 210 00:10:10,373 --> 00:10:11,839 I mean, that's like science-physics. 211 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:15,276 - You think I weigh more than you. - Uh, yeah. 212 00:10:15,278 --> 00:10:17,195 - You're a man. - Crackers? 213 00:10:17,196 --> 00:10:18,813 - Nope. - Bird? 214 00:10:18,814 --> 00:10:22,016 Wait, what? You think I weigh more than him? 215 00:10:22,018 --> 00:10:24,419 I mean... No, not in a... 216 00:10:24,420 --> 00:10:27,894 Come on, you're big-boned. And easily six five. 217 00:10:27,929 --> 00:10:28,823 Now can you please use 218 00:10:28,824 --> 00:10:31,090 those big-ass bones to get me out of this bullshit? 219 00:10:31,092 --> 00:10:33,059 Okay, smart guys, I'll bet you. 220 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:38,298 - 50 bucks says Archer's heavier. - Make it a hundred. 221 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,734 - You're on. - Well, but there's his actual weight, 222 00:10:40,736 --> 00:10:42,736 plus you also have to overcome the suction power 223 00:10:42,738 --> 00:10:45,238 of the quicksand, and I don't know if that's expressed 224 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,907 in foot-pounds, or newton metres, or... 225 00:10:47,909 --> 00:10:49,410 I don't care if it's in ergs. 226 00:10:49,411 --> 00:10:51,477 - It's not. - She still weighs more than me. 227 00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:55,915 - Then, let's make it 200. - Bring it. 228 00:10:55,917 --> 00:10:57,917 The real problem here, though, isn't which one of you 229 00:10:57,919 --> 00:11:01,587 weighs more, it's your combined weights in relation to the... 230 00:11:01,589 --> 00:11:03,589 - Whoa! - Oh, no, no, no. Ow! 231 00:11:03,591 --> 00:11:05,591 Oh! Ooh! W-Whoa. 232 00:11:08,329 --> 00:11:10,763 Yeah, I was gonna say the branch. 233 00:11:13,468 --> 00:11:15,968 I mean, first Pam mentions treasure 234 00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:19,237 and then that sneaky little kraut gets all flustered, 235 00:11:19,239 --> 00:11:21,340 like he's heard of the treasure? 236 00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:23,782 What if there's actually treasure on the island? 237 00:11:23,836 --> 00:11:25,511 Think it is a good story. 238 00:11:25,512 --> 00:11:28,046 I mean, it is no "Weir of Hermiston," but... 239 00:11:28,048 --> 00:11:31,717 - Oh, shut up. What about him? - He's not read it. 240 00:11:31,718 --> 00:11:34,051 No. Ask him about the treasure. 241 00:11:34,053 --> 00:11:36,220 Like if there's a native legend or something. 242 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:41,542 _ 243 00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:46,731 - He says yes. - Where? Ask him where. 244 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,900 Où, Doudou, où? 245 00:11:48,902 --> 00:11:52,769 He says somewhere in this area here, 246 00:11:52,771 --> 00:11:55,039 close to La Crique De I'Homme Mort. 247 00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,274 It means Dead Man's Cove. 248 00:11:57,276 --> 00:12:01,483 "Dead Man's Cove"? What, did somebody 249 00:12:01,518 --> 00:12:04,448 already have dibs on Harbinger Harbor? 250 00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:08,438 - He say he don't know. - Because why'd you say 251 00:12:08,439 --> 00:12:11,154 you'd miss me once we found the goddamn idol? 252 00:12:11,156 --> 00:12:12,557 - Oh, my God. - Well? 253 00:12:12,558 --> 00:12:14,725 I... wait. Crackers. 254 00:12:14,727 --> 00:12:16,560 If I can tie the rope around this heavy branch, 255 00:12:16,562 --> 00:12:18,962 can you fly it up into the notch of that tree 256 00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:20,398 and kind of wedge it in there? 257 00:12:20,399 --> 00:12:23,067 I don't know. Can you bench-press a train? 258 00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,701 "I don't know. Can you bench-press a train?" 259 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,937 Hey, but what I could do is use the radio in the plane to... 260 00:12:27,939 --> 00:12:31,074 wait for it... 261 00:12:31,076 --> 00:12:33,109 - You know... - I could fly back to town and get help. 262 00:12:33,111 --> 00:12:34,578 - I'm sure your mother would... - No. 263 00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:37,347 All Mother cares about is getting her Manu-hooks 264 00:12:37,349 --> 00:12:40,950 into whatever money the idol's worth thanks to Pam, so no. 265 00:12:40,952 --> 00:12:43,953 - Nobody's going anywhere. - Certainly not you two. 266 00:12:43,955 --> 00:12:46,989 Will you shut up and let me think? 267 00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:51,527 - Why'd you say you'd miss me if you... - Goddamn it! Because! 268 00:12:51,529 --> 00:12:55,164 Pam! I'm currently up to my ears in quicksand! 269 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,166 And before that, I flew here in a plane 270 00:12:57,168 --> 00:12:59,468 made out of literal garbage, and before that, 271 00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:02,471 my eyeball got shot out in Spain, and before that, 272 00:13:02,473 --> 00:13:04,940 I went bust on those goddamn chinchilladas. 273 00:13:04,942 --> 00:13:07,443 And the common denominator in every bad thing 274 00:13:07,445 --> 00:13:11,547 that's ever happened to me is you! And you know why?! 275 00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:14,950 Because the only two kinds of luck you have are bad and none 276 00:13:14,952 --> 00:13:18,053 because you are a jinx! 277 00:13:18,055 --> 00:13:21,355 And that idol is my ticket out of Loserville, 278 00:13:21,357 --> 00:13:24,425 population you! 279 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:35,002 - Goddamn, dude. - Shut up, bird! And as for you... 280 00:13:35,004 --> 00:13:40,208 Hey. Hey, come on. Knock it off. I-I-I'm sorry. 281 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,110 I didn't mean that. I-I just meant... 282 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,278 Ow! What the...? 283 00:13:47,850 --> 00:13:50,283 So great. 284 00:13:56,861 --> 00:13:58,561 Ow. 285 00:13:58,562 --> 00:14:00,329 What the hell are you doing over there? 286 00:14:00,331 --> 00:14:03,698 - Waiting for your pitch? - I'm doing the best I can. 287 00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,467 Which I'm sure isn't good enough for you 288 00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:09,071 because apparently, it never is, but don't worry. 289 00:14:09,073 --> 00:14:11,273 If we get out of here alive... 290 00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:13,741 you and me are quitsies. 291 00:14:13,743 --> 00:14:16,077 Well, that suits me just fine. 292 00:14:16,079 --> 00:14:19,180 - Ow! - Well, it's been not so nice knowing you. 293 00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:21,516 Guys, come on, you're talking crazy. 294 00:14:21,518 --> 00:14:23,218 Well, why should I stick around somebody 295 00:14:23,219 --> 00:14:26,121 - who doesn't appreciate me? - No, about getting out of here alive. 296 00:14:26,122 --> 00:14:27,989 Uh, I've been in tougher scrapes than... ow! 297 00:14:27,991 --> 00:14:30,091 He's right. We can't do this forever. 298 00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:36,263 That is very strange. 299 00:14:36,265 --> 00:14:38,332 It sounds like howler monkeys, 300 00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:41,068 but they are not indigenous to the Pacific. 301 00:14:41,070 --> 00:14:45,271 [groans] Yes, damn it, you can shoot the monkeys! 302 00:14:45,273 --> 00:14:47,440 Then what? What was your question? 303 00:14:47,442 --> 00:14:52,045 Sorry. I was just going to ask if we can shoot the monkeys. 304 00:14:52,047 --> 00:14:54,047 - What?! - He just said that. 305 00:14:54,049 --> 00:14:58,018 Ah, I know, but I was going to ask it before he said that 306 00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:01,788 and then he asked me what my question was and... 307 00:15:03,458 --> 00:15:06,126 Any other questions? 308 00:15:06,128 --> 00:15:07,495 Well, then what would you suggest? 309 00:15:07,496 --> 00:15:09,723 - That I fly back to town for help. - No! 310 00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,097 - What? - What do you mean, "no"? 311 00:15:11,099 --> 00:15:12,999 You go back for help, Mother's gonna find out, 312 00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:16,102 get her nosy beak all up in it and the next thing you know, 313 00:15:16,104 --> 00:15:18,504 she tricks us out of our million dollar treasure. 314 00:15:18,513 --> 00:15:21,140 - What? - Wait. So, you'd rather just die? 315 00:15:21,142 --> 00:15:23,442 Than to see her spending my fortune on boy toys 316 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,411 and artisanal gin? Ow! 317 00:15:25,413 --> 00:15:26,680 - Oh, my God. - Well? 318 00:15:26,681 --> 00:15:27,781 - I'm going for help. - No! 319 00:15:27,782 --> 00:15:29,416 - Yes! - No! 320 00:15:29,417 --> 00:15:32,084 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep. - Goddamn it, Crackers. 321 00:15:32,086 --> 00:15:33,687 And you get the bird, by the way. 322 00:15:33,688 --> 00:15:36,221 - Who says I want him? - I can still hear you. 323 00:15:36,223 --> 00:15:38,542 - Shut up, bird! - Eh. 324 00:15:38,577 --> 00:15:41,427 - Excuse me? - I said I'm going with you 325 00:15:41,429 --> 00:15:43,429 to look for hidden treasure or whatever. 326 00:15:43,431 --> 00:15:46,932 - Have you lost your mind? - I think maybe I have, 327 00:15:46,967 --> 00:15:49,034 yeah, because if you leave me here, 328 00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:51,670 I am gonna burn down your goddamn hotel! 329 00:15:51,672 --> 00:15:56,174 - You can't! Arrest her. - Oh, no. Never again. 330 00:15:56,176 --> 00:15:58,402 I say bring her along. With any luck, 331 00:15:58,437 --> 00:16:01,112 she will be torn apart and eaten by wild animals. 332 00:16:01,114 --> 00:16:02,914 Mm-mmm! 333 00:16:04,785 --> 00:16:08,486 - Aw, shit. - Oh, for... way to go, idiot. 334 00:16:08,488 --> 00:16:10,488 How is that my fault? Ow. 335 00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:12,756 How is everything your fault? Ow! 336 00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:14,692 - Exactly. - Wait, what? 337 00:16:14,694 --> 00:16:16,427 You're the one who's always shooting off his... 338 00:16:16,429 --> 00:16:18,801 - Hey, wait. Where's your gun? - Why? 339 00:16:18,836 --> 00:16:21,265 You need something that's full of goddamn quicksand? 340 00:16:21,267 --> 00:16:22,934 You can at least show it to them. 341 00:16:22,935 --> 00:16:24,603 What good would that possibly do? 342 00:16:24,604 --> 00:16:26,336 I don't know. It might scare them off. 343 00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:28,505 They don't know what a gun is. Ow! 344 00:16:28,507 --> 00:16:30,207 You don't know that. 345 00:16:30,209 --> 00:16:32,375 For all you know, they broke out of some top secret lab. 346 00:16:32,377 --> 00:16:34,311 They might be super intelligent. 347 00:16:34,313 --> 00:16:37,347 - Do they look super intelligent? - Oh. 348 00:16:37,349 --> 00:16:39,950 Who among us... ow! 349 00:16:39,952 --> 00:16:41,951 Come on. Show them the heater. 350 00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:44,421 But only because this is the last time 351 00:16:44,423 --> 00:16:48,291 I do one of your stupid ideas. There. Happy? 352 00:16:50,362 --> 00:16:53,197 What the...? Holy shit. 353 00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:54,732 - They're running away. - See? 354 00:16:54,733 --> 00:16:56,466 It wasn't because of the gun. 355 00:16:56,468 --> 00:16:58,534 Yeah. I mean, maybe they were just as sick 356 00:16:58,536 --> 00:17:00,703 of your bullshit as I am. 357 00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:02,505 They sound very excited, no? 358 00:17:02,507 --> 00:17:06,809 Must be with the crazy coconut lady. 359 00:17:06,811 --> 00:17:10,880 Doudou! Idiot, regards la route! 360 00:17:10,882 --> 00:17:14,250 Oh, my God, and if you see any oysters, we have to stop. 361 00:17:14,252 --> 00:17:16,285 I am starving. 362 00:17:16,287 --> 00:17:18,754 Wh... where the hell would we see oysters?! 363 00:17:19,756 --> 00:17:21,823 Wherever. 364 00:17:21,825 --> 00:17:23,759 - Oh, whatever. - Then tell me. 365 00:17:23,761 --> 00:17:25,628 Tell me one time us being partners 366 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:29,465 got us out of a bad situation instead of deeper in it. 367 00:17:29,467 --> 00:17:33,002 Oh, great. Maybe you could float us out. 368 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:36,088 I'm sorry. It just hurts to hear your best friend 369 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:41,009 in the whole world say it's just been a big fat waste of time 370 00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:45,446 and he'd be better off if he never even met you, 371 00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:50,951 even after you gave him the best years of your life 372 00:17:50,953 --> 00:17:56,724 and you got nothing... nothing to show for it 373 00:17:56,726 --> 00:18:01,429 except for half an old magical bird! 374 00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:04,865 - Magical? - Well, how else can you explain it? 375 00:18:04,867 --> 00:18:08,770 - That's not normal bird behavior. - He's a parrot. 376 00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:11,455 - Still, though. - Well, but, come on, 377 00:18:11,456 --> 00:18:12,439 the best years of your life? 378 00:18:12,441 --> 00:18:14,575 I mean, it's not like we were a couple. 379 00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:17,644 No. I was never a couple with anybody 380 00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:20,380 because I put everything into us 381 00:18:20,382 --> 00:18:24,918 and I have nothing, Archer! Nothing! 382 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,321 Well, Jesus Christ, what am I supposed to do, Pam? 383 00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:30,324 - Ask you to marry me? - Wait, what? 384 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,492 What? 385 00:18:31,493 --> 00:18:32,860 - Are you...? - Oh, no, no, no. 386 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,795 - No, I... - Oh-ho! I get it! 387 00:18:35,797 --> 00:18:40,499 You'd have to be some kind of giant flapping asshole 388 00:18:40,501 --> 00:18:43,803 to ask that big dumb Pam Poovey to marry you! 389 00:18:43,805 --> 00:18:46,405 No, come on. You're a great... gal. 390 00:18:46,407 --> 00:18:48,808 You're smart. You're funny. 391 00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:50,777 Any guy would be lucky to have you. 392 00:18:50,779 --> 00:18:54,780 - You didn't say pretty. - In your own way you are, 393 00:18:54,782 --> 00:18:57,316 if you'd ever put on some makeup or a dress. 394 00:18:57,318 --> 00:18:58,818 And I mean, I assume you've got 395 00:18:58,819 --> 00:19:00,853 a pretty colossal set of tits under there. 396 00:19:00,855 --> 00:19:03,889 They are. They are goddamn colossal. 397 00:19:03,891 --> 00:19:06,993 And we are best friends. You're actually the only person 398 00:19:06,994 --> 00:19:08,093 I don't hate to be around. 399 00:19:08,095 --> 00:19:11,529 I guess we do kind of make a pretty great team. 400 00:19:11,531 --> 00:19:16,802 Wait. What are you... what are you saying? 401 00:19:16,804 --> 00:19:19,604 I-I mean... I-I don't know. 402 00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:23,008 If-if I did ask you to marry me someday, 403 00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:26,069 wh-wh-what would you say? 404 00:19:29,616 --> 00:19:34,153 Okay. 405 00:19:34,755 --> 00:19:36,821 Oh, my God. 406 00:19:36,823 --> 00:19:39,324 - You goddamn idiot. - Okay. 407 00:19:39,326 --> 00:19:41,493 I can't believe I got you to say that. 408 00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:45,629 That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. 409 00:19:45,631 --> 00:19:48,966 - I mean, that idea sucks. - Okay! 410 00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:53,771 That idea would suck a dick just to cut in line 411 00:19:53,773 --> 00:19:57,341 - to suck a bigger dick. - Okay, Pam. 412 00:19:57,343 --> 00:19:59,343 Oh, man. 413 00:19:59,345 --> 00:20:02,514 Thank you. I needed that. 414 00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:05,450 Yeah, well, you know what I need? 415 00:20:05,451 --> 00:20:07,484 Oh, my God, it's up to my mouth. 416 00:20:07,486 --> 00:20:10,587 W-Wait. Why isn't it up to your mouth? 417 00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:11,889 - What? - The quicksand. 418 00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:14,792 - Why aren't you sinking? - I can touch. 419 00:20:14,794 --> 00:20:16,860 - What?! - My feet are touching the bottom. 420 00:20:16,862 --> 00:20:20,263 Then why didn't you just walk out?! 421 00:20:20,265 --> 00:20:23,033 Well, I was going to, then you started blubbering 422 00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:25,335 about how you wanted to get married and shit and... 423 00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:27,437 Get your big ass out of this goddamn quicksand 424 00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:30,664 - and then get my ass out! - Okay, geez. 425 00:20:30,699 --> 00:20:32,208 - Lighten up already. - Hurry up! 426 00:20:32,210 --> 00:20:34,609 You can't go through life pissed off all the damn time. 427 00:20:34,611 --> 00:20:37,636 It'll give you ball cancer. I had an uncle once, 428 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,362 Norm, always pissed off and... Whoops! 429 00:20:41,752 --> 00:20:45,987 - And? - Um... 430 00:20:48,291 --> 00:20:50,425 What happened to Norm? 431 00:20:50,427 --> 00:20:54,769 Let me guess. Did you annoy him to death? 432 00:20:55,464 --> 00:20:59,559 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 34015

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