Original subtitles

Why does everything he trades me always break?

Ever consider giving Junk Imp a wide berth?

Yeah, after I make him give back all my stuff

and throw in an apology for free.

Raising Viking Children for Dummies, Chapter 2.

"Mistakes will be made." Ugh.

Here we go.

Enough with your dodgy deals, Junk Imp.

Give me back all my stuff. Now!

Er... what stuff?

This! All of this is mine.

Like that macaroni self-portrait of me,

which I noodle-doodled.

All right.

As one of my most cherished customers,

please accept this apology flower on the house.

Wait. Is that a...?

It is! It’s a forget-me flower.

I can’t believe you’re trying to make me forget

why I came here!

Why did you come here?

Oh, I’ll make sure you never forget.

Huh?

Who are you?

Oh, no idea. Who are you?

No idea.

-Who are we? -Who are we?

Oh, Junk Imp, employee of the month.

Way to go, me.

Looks like I work for this hunk of junk, too.

Mmh, which means we must be

Junk Imp and the Trash Kid.

How dare you put your name first?

It should be "Trash Kid and Junk Imp."

What do you think we do exactly?

Judging by that trading charter and all this junk,

I’d take a wild guess and say we’re traders.

Whoa. Let’s get trading, partner.

Uh, Cap’n?

Lana’s not back from complaining to Junk Imp.

Wanna fire a warning shot across his bow?

Actually, no.

Raising Viking Children for Dummies says

I need to let her learn from her mistakes.

Oh, like that time she traded half the Mighty Windbreaker

for those sparkle spores?

Take the wheel. And also, replace it.

There’s gotta be a chapter in here

about impish bad influences.

Rule number one of the Trading Charter:

"Trade fair, but make sure you get your fair share."

Sounds fair.

You’re gonna have to read the rest later,

’cause we got our first unsuspecting customer,

Trash Kid.

Ahoy there! In need of seeds?

Oh, well, thank you kindly, but I’ve got crops aplenty.

But you don’t have... these crops.

See, these are mystery seeds.

The agricultural equivalent of a lottery ticket.

Oh, well, all’s I got to trade is this rusty watering can.

Oh! The rust patina is exquisite.

We could easily turn this into a noodle strainer.

Or... Or...

Or we could get a fairer share,

just like the charter says.

Ooh, like the farmer’s prize coiffawn?

For random seeds?

Random seeds which could grow...

Uh, magical beanstalks leading to...

A mighty sky turtle.

That lays golden, uh...

-Golden egg! -Sandwiches!

-Golden egg sandwiches! -Golden egg sandwiches!

Sold!

Woohoo!

Still no sign of the sub, Captain.

That’s because Junk Imp traded Lana that broken spyglass.

And because my stubborn daughter must still be arguing

over another trade gone wrong. And I am not budging

until she comes back having learned her lesson.

I guess stubbornness doesn’t fall far from the family tree.

I mean, how about a little music to soothe our grumpy captain?

On three. And a one, and a two.

Ahoy hoy!

Got any weapons to ward off the monster

that terrorizes my species?

Who needs weapons when you got a...

Coiffawn!

With a bleat that’ll send shivers down any beast’s back.

Are you sure about that?

Can anyone be sure about anything

in these crazy realms?

Not me. But I sure ain’t been plagued

by no monsters since we got this Coiffawn aboard.

Then maybe we should keep it.

Bye!

Sheesh.

Whoa.

Oh, my gosh.

I wonder if the old me loved Flap Shacks.

This is the life.

Mmh, doing good by trading goods,

just like the charter says.

Yeah, I don’t know.

Part of me kind of liked our old junk.

My belly’s full,

but our sub’s running on near empty.

Oh, we should trade that for syrup!

Or with some work and imagination,

we could make it something new.

With that gunk?

All right, let’s see what you can do, partner.

Sold!

Oh!

This candle isn’t vanilla-scented.

We’ve been ripped off!

Calling all ships!

Two grifters on the loose!

One has pink hair and

-both are impish! -Both are impish!

- Huh? - Mee, mee, mee, mee, mee...

Not intervening clearly didn’t work.

Stop the music.

It’s time to go save my daughter.

Hey! Stop! Get back here!

Ooh, look. New customers.

Nah. I have a vague memory

that shouting usually means bad news in this business.

Let’s boogie!

Initiate protocol Hugo Express!

Lana! What did Junk Imp make you do?

Everyone’s saying you’re a grifter.

Who’s Lana? I’m the Trash Kid.

And nobody made me do nothing.

I leave you alone for two minutes.

All right, you’re both coming with me.

We’d better jump ship.

Also, any idea how to jump ship?

Oh, this sub’s got an escape pod,

which is only big enough for one imp or child.

Huh?

Ooh. Watch where you’re falling, Cap’n.

How big is this tiny sub?

It makes no sense! Now let me through!

Why should I?

’Cause I’m the brains of this operation.

Well, I’m the beauty. And I’m too pretty for prison!

What is this made of? Sea cucumber?

Yes! It’s called upcycling!

No!

Everything on this sub always breaks!

Breaks! Breaks!

That’s cold.

Wait a second. I’m no Trash Kid.

I’m Lana Longbeard.

Oh, and I’m... Oh, I’m still Junk Imp.

But I remember everything too.

-You’re a crook! -You’re a crook!

-Huh? Who, me? -Huh? Who, me?

I used to have a sub full of precious junk

until you traded it all for pancakes.

How was that a good investment?

Uh, trickle-down economics. But back up a sec.

All this happened because you ripped me off.

Uh, I didn’t mean to.

Seeing the work and imagination you put into this noodle doodle,

I thought you’d put in the same into fixing all the other junk.

See, I may not have fancy valuables,

but I really believe junk can be worth something to somebody.

A second chance, a better life.

Don’t we all deserve that?

You’re right. I never realized.

I guess you don’t really know someone until you go

on a fun crime spree together, huh?

Friends?

You... got a deal.

Time to face the music.

Let’s hope it’s better than your instruments.

-Huh? Yah! -Wait, Dad!

Junk Imp’s innocent. Mostly.

I pushed him into some dodgy trades too, to be fair.

And I guess you could turn both of us in,

but you wouldn’t sell out your own daughter.

No, siree.

So maybe let us both off the hook?

No deal.

Viking Parenting for Dummies, Chapter four. "Tough love."

Starting with community service to repay your customers.

Take’em away.

Ugh, this is gonna take forever.

Oh, why so glum, chum?

Oh, there is enough junk to fill my sub anew.

We’re back in business, Trash Kid.

-Oh, and this one too. -Ugh.

I’ll take that.

Ugh.