Original subtitles

Ha haaa! Tremble, greaseball!

For it is I, Lana, destroyer of deck-stains!

I'm glad you take deck-swabbing so seriously,

but leave the steering to this salty ol' captain.

Ok, that wasn't my finest moment, but I'm gonna need to

learn to steer one day if I'm ever gonna be a captain.

Captain? Haahh, you're not even twelve!

Uh, I turned twelve four months ago.

Twelve and a half...is what I was about to say.

Anyway, you got chores to do first.

Have you scraped off the barnacles?

- Yes! - Cleaned Sprog's litter box?

Yes!

Given the figurehead a dental checkup?

Yes. I also ironed the sails,

shined the shields and sharpened Hugo's helmet.

So can I steer now?

...Er, no, cuz, um...BEARD!

I mean, you need a beard to steer.

- What? - It even rhymes. Beard, steer.

A, it barely rhymes, and three, Captain Hiromu doesn't have

a beard, and Ho-Ho's barely got peach fuzz.

It's a Mighty Windbreaker rule, decreed by her 1st captain...

um, Tizbella Hairymug. But hey, grow a beard

and I'll let you steer.

Heck, I'll even let you be Captain for a day.

Oh, you're on.

I'm okay!

Yo, Bo!

I need a beard, like the Great Tizbella Hairymug!

You know that's not a real person, right?

She's not? Well, if my dad

can make up a rule, I can make up a beard!

Tadaaa!

A drop of Chopov Chili Sauce will put hair

on that chinny-chin-chin!

Close, but no chin. I'll grab the shears.

Don't worry Lana...

Your dad's probably just scared that you're growing up too fast,

but one day you'll be captain, beard or not.

Not-sure-what-you-said-but- thanks!

Now that's the perfect look of a young lady on the run.

What'd you do, rob a Flap Shack?

No, not yet.

Anyway, I need a beard that commands authority.

Like that!

That one...? Suit yourself. No returns!

Lana? I told you, no beard no steer!

Delayed effect from your hot sauce?

Chopov, you did it again!

Hmm, that beard rings a bell...

We had a deal. Beard? Steer!

Where to, Cap'n? ...Oh wait, that's me!

By Poseidon's pinky toe, how is that even possible...

Fine. Think you're ready?

Then go on, while I take a much-needed day off.

But be warned, being captain comes with

heavy responsibilities, and daily beard care.

I'm ok! ...Actually no. MEDIC!

Here's all our latest quest requests, Captain!

I arranged them from boring to life-threatening--

Oops, heheh guess we'll have to sort through 'em again,

and trust me, they are NOT fresh.

Captain Lana! I got a bucketload of repair bill notices--

Forget that, I just got word of

a sale on rutabagas at the turnip market!

Queeeeeest!

Uh-oh, Hugo's got quest withdrawal.

Better pick one fast!

EVERYONE TAKE 5!

Your captain needs a moment to fish-- I mean think.

C'mon, get it together Lana, you gotta show Dad you can captain!

Arr, heavy be the chin that wears the beard!

But I can lead ye to a legendary quest...

Who said that? Better not be more crabs!

Ahoy, down here lass!

Since when can beards talk?

Since the first whisker sprouted!

It's an ol' beardkeeper's secret.

Huh, that explains why my dad is always muttering

into his beard. So, what's this big quest?

Break's over! Sails up!

We're going to Pepper Island for treasure and adventure!

Are there rutabagas there?

As far as you can dig!

Caaan yoouuu dig it?!

I CAN. I can dig it, Captain!

Then let's set sail for, er--

72 degrees North,

where Saltybeard's treasure awaits!

Hm, did you just say "Saltybeard"?

- Why? Heard of him? - Uuuuuh...Yeah!

Lana just said his name two seconds ago, d'uh.

Raise the anchor! Hoist the sail!

- For Captain Lana: - ALL: VAMOOOSE!!

And that is how you captain.

Go us! Go us! Now beard, break it down!

Who're you talking to Lana?

Uh...haha. It-it's a beard thang. Hah.

You'll get it when you grow one.

I did. Like all orc babies,

until they fall off. You know that.

Phew.

HA! I KNEW that beard was weird!

Don't worry Sprog, someone's gonna need to use the

L'il Windbreaker room sooner or later.

Ah!

Alright, your playtime as Captain is up,

now let's get questing! Wait, where'd you take us?

Pepper Island, home of Saltybeard's treasure!

Just a l'il quest I picked up while you were napping.

Not bad, I guess being a captain is in your blood,

and your beard!

So how'd you find this treasure?

A little beardie told me-- I mean birdie!

Welp, this ain't gonna buy you your own boat, Cap'n' Lana.

Huh? What?

AAAARGH!

QUAKE IN YOUR BOOTS, MERE MORTALS:

SALTYBEARD IS BACK! HAHAHAHAAAA!

Ah, Saltybeard! I remember!

The Scourge of the Ten Realms, who derived immortality from his

beard until it was cut off... and now put back on.

Wow, time is a flat circle, in'it?

So your beard lied to me just to get back to your body?!

That beard TALKED to you and you didn't find it suspicious?!

How was I supposed to know? It was my first one! And none

of this would have happened if you had trusted me to steer!

THAT'S EXACTLY why I can't trust you!

- Uhhhh. - Chill ooouuut!

I'll handle Beardy McWeirdy here with my boomerang.

Looking for this, deck-swabber?

- He's headin' to our ship! - HAHAHAHA!

Initiate protocol Metalhead Express!

BEARD HO!! LET'S GO!!

AAAAH!!

Hey Hugo.

Guys, Lana's beard is evil!

And so's the rest of me!

Ugh, can't move. And my hand is stuck in somebody's armpit.

That's not my armpit.

Not a bad tub! Just what I need to pillage, sack,

and wreak general havoc across the Ten Realms!

That pirate's gonna pay for stealing my ship!

MY ship, of which I'M Captain of.

Sure, but this is MY mistake

so let ME be in charge of fixing it.

We've seen enough of what happens when YOU'RE in charge.

Now stay here! That's an order!

Huh?

Hey Lana!

Hey bonehead!

There's one captain too many on this here vessel!

Ye got a bone to pick with me?

HA HA HAR! Got any more weapons ye wanna throw at me?

Yeah, me and my crew!

Chopov: break out the maple syrup!!

Greta, Hugo: barnacles!

Bo: crabs! No mercy!

Sprog, fetch!

Take your best shot, but remember my beard makes me

immortal, and you're not but a smooth-chinned child.

For now, but she'll make a great captain one day,

cuz she might not get everything right,

but she never gives up on her crew, and her dad.

Oh, and I made up the beard rule.

No kidding, Dad.

Oh no!

Now let's get that beard off of you!

Lana!

- For Cap'n Lana: - ALL: Vamoose.

Ready for your first steering lesson, Lana?

You bet! But first I gotta do my chores.

The L'il Windbreaker room isn't gonna mop itself!

Hey, how dare ye?! I'm Saltybeard,

the Scourge of the Ten Realms, not a loo-scrubber!