Original subtitles

Yo yo yo yo yo. My money makers and my

Yo yo yo yo yo. My money makers and my

Yo yo yo yo yo. My money makers and my profit takers, welcome to Costa doing

profit takers, welcome to Costa doing

profit takers, welcome to Costa doing business. Let's make some fat stacks of

business. Let's make some fat stacks of

business. Let's make some fat stacks of that stanky cash. And we better make it

that stanky cash. And we better make it

that stanky cash. And we better make it quick because I got a hot date tonight.

quick because I got a hot date tonight.

quick because I got a hot date tonight. That's right. I'm planning on warming up

That's right. I'm planning on warming up

That's right. I'm planning on warming up a single dried date in the microwave and

a single dried date in the microwave and

a single dried date in the microwave and eating it for dinner. No, I'm just

eating it for dinner. No, I'm just

eating it for dinner. No, I'm just kidding. It's not even a date. It's more

kidding. It's not even a date. It's more

kidding. It's not even a date. It's more just like a big raisin.

just like a big raisin.

just like a big raisin. Anyway, let's talk making green, which

Anyway, let's talk making green, which

Anyway, let's talk making green, which these days comes in purple. Hit me.

these days comes in purple. Hit me.

these days comes in purple. Hit me. >> Ube has been finding its way onto social

>> Ube has been finding its way onto social

>> Ube has been finding its way onto social media feeds as the new must-have drink

media feeds as the new must-have drink

media feeds as the new must-have drink ingredient.

ingredient.

ingredient. >> A purple yam native to the Philippines

>> A purple yam native to the Philippines

>> A purple yam native to the Philippines is gaining a reputation as the new

is gaining a reputation as the new

is gaining a reputation as the new matcha.

matcha.

matcha. >> Starbucks recently launched an entire

>> Starbucks recently launched an entire

>> Starbucks recently launched an entire line of ube flavored lattes.

line of ube flavored lattes.

line of ube flavored lattes. >> Its appearance on menus across the

>> Its appearance on menus across the

>> Its appearance on menus across the country has increased by 230%, but

country has increased by 230%, but

country has increased by 230%, but Filipino farmers are struggling to keep

Filipino farmers are struggling to keep

Filipino farmers are struggling to keep up with the demand.

up with the demand.

up with the demand. Oh, ooh, bae. Let's make some oo bucks.

Oh, ooh, bae. Let's make some oo bucks.

Oh, ooh, bae. Let's make some oo bucks. Okay. And I get all in on drink crazes.

Okay. And I get all in on drink crazes.

Okay. And I get all in on drink crazes. Pomegranate juice, protein shakes,

Pomegranate juice, protein shakes,

Pomegranate juice, protein shakes, whatever's left in people's glasses at

whatever's left in people's glasses at

whatever's left in people's glasses at the end of a wedding. It's like I'm

the end of a wedding. It's like I'm

the end of a wedding. It's like I'm being paid twice to cater.

being paid twice to cater.

being paid twice to cater. Unfortunately, because of supply chain

Unfortunately, because of supply chain

Unfortunately, because of supply chain issues, this ube got consumers saying,

issues, this ube got consumers saying,

issues, this ube got consumers saying, "Oh, boy." And I haven't been this upset

"Oh, boy." And I haven't been this upset

"Oh, boy." And I haven't been this upset by a Filipino supply chain issue since

by a Filipino supply chain issue since

by a Filipino supply chain issue since my dominatrix mistress Manila lost the

my dominatrix mistress Manila lost the

my dominatrix mistress Manila lost the keys to my genital cage. Now again,

keys to my genital cage. Now again,

keys to my genital cage. Now again, apologies to my locksmith, Mr. Manila.

apologies to my locksmith, Mr. Manila.

apologies to my locksmith, Mr. Manila. But damn, if people are paying top

But damn, if people are paying top

But damn, if people are paying top dollar for purple spud, then I'm putting

dollar for purple spud, then I'm putting

dollar for purple spud, then I'm putting my money into russet potatoes and purple

my money into russet potatoes and purple

my money into russet potatoes and purple spray paint. And here's here's how it

spray paint. And here's here's how it

spray paint. And here's here's how it works. First, you eat the potato for

works. First, you eat the potato for

works. First, you eat the potato for energy. Then to help you come up with a

energy. Then to help you come up with a

energy. Then to help you come up with a business idea, you huff the paint. And

business idea, you huff the paint. And

business idea, you huff the paint. And that's exactly what I did last night.

that's exactly what I did last night.

that's exactly what I did last night. And I'm proud to announce the launch of

And I'm proud to announce the launch of

And I'm proud to announce the launch of my new ube delivery business. Oo bayer.

my new ube delivery business. Oo bayer.

my new ube delivery business. Oo bayer. All right. It's a great name. Nobody

All right. It's a great name. Nobody

All right. It's a great name. Nobody take it.

take it.

take it. Moving on. For those of you not making

Moving on. For those of you not making

Moving on. For those of you not making fat stacks of stanky cash right now, you

fat stacks of stanky cash right now, you

fat stacks of stanky cash right now, you might be doing a little thing the K dog

might be doing a little thing the K dog

might be doing a little thing the K dog likes to call struggling to make ends

likes to call struggling to make ends

likes to call struggling to make ends meet. And I'm sorry about that. But if

meet. And I'm sorry about that. But if

meet. And I'm sorry about that. But if you're thinking of saving some cheddar

you're thinking of saving some cheddar

you're thinking of saving some cheddar on cheaper products, you might want to

on cheaper products, you might want to

on cheaper products, you might want to make sure that big deal isn't a big dud.

make sure that big deal isn't a big dud.

make sure that big deal isn't a big dud. Don't hit me. Don't hit me. Don't Don't

Don't hit me. Don't hit me. Don't Don't

Don't hit me. Don't hit me. Don't Don't hit Hey, hey, hey, hey. You can hit me

hit Hey, hey, hey, hey. You can hit me

hit Hey, hey, hey, hey. You can hit me now.

now.

now. >> Fake products rapidly being sold around

>> Fake products rapidly being sold around

>> Fake products rapidly being sold around the world and they're getting harder to

the world and they're getting harder to

the world and they're getting harder to catch.

catch.

catch. >> One disturbing case in particular

>> One disturbing case in particular

>> One disturbing case in particular involves counterfeit perfume being sold

involves counterfeit perfume being sold

involves counterfeit perfume being sold online that was contaminated with horse

online that was contaminated with horse

online that was contaminated with horse urine.

urine.

urine. >> We've had some tested that have actually

>> We've had some tested that have actually

>> We've had some tested that have actually had horse urine in them. So, you don't

had horse urine in them. So, you don't

had horse urine in them. So, you don't want to be putting that on your skin.

want to be putting that on your skin.

want to be putting that on your skin. Look, I know I know you guys got a lot

Look, I know I know you guys got a lot

Look, I know I know you guys got a lot of questions. Why use specifically horse

of questions. Why use specifically horse

of questions. Why use specifically horse urine? Couldn't you use dog urine or

urine? Couldn't you use dog urine or

urine? Couldn't you use dog urine or human urine? Maybe. Why even no urine?

human urine? Maybe. Why even no urine?

human urine? Maybe. Why even no urine? Maybe. Look, I don't have all the

Maybe. Look, I don't have all the

Maybe. Look, I don't have all the answers. I'm not a horse piss whisperer.

answers. I'm not a horse piss whisperer.

answers. I'm not a horse piss whisperer. But the real shame here is this

But the real shame here is this

But the real shame here is this counterfeiting hurts everyone. Not just

counterfeiting hurts everyone. Not just

counterfeiting hurts everyone. Not just the people buying perfume contaminated

the people buying perfume contaminated

the people buying perfume contaminated with horse piss, but also the people

with horse piss, but also the people

with horse piss, but also the people buying horse piss contaminated with

buying horse piss contaminated with

buying horse piss contaminated with perfume. Gross. But hey, where some

perfume. Gross. But hey, where some

perfume. Gross. But hey, where some people smell horse piss, Costa smells a

people smell horse piss, Costa smells a

people smell horse piss, Costa smells a piss opportunity.

piss opportunity.

piss opportunity. Hit me with my new ad. In the wild, the

Hit me with my new ad. In the wild, the

Hit me with my new ad. In the wild, the alpha always leaves his scent. Capture

alpha always leaves his scent. Capture

alpha always leaves his scent. Capture it. Every last drop.

it. Every last drop.

it. Every last drop. Laarin dasha. The new fragrance from a

Laarin dasha. The new fragrance from a

Laarin dasha. The new fragrance from a horse that Michael Costa chased until it

horse that Michael Costa chased until it

horse that Michael Costa chased until it stopped to pee. Would you accept

stopped to pee. Would you accept

stopped to pee. Would you accept anything less?

anything less?

anything less? >> Nay.

Oh, come on. Sean again.

Oh, come on. Sean again.

Oh, come on. Sean again. Wow. Wow. That came out way better than

Wow. Wow. That came out way better than

Wow. Wow. That came out way better than I expected. Now, let me tell you, this

I expected. Now, let me tell you, this

I expected. Now, let me tell you, this stuff is great. But warning, do not wear

stuff is great. But warning, do not wear

stuff is great. But warning, do not wear it around police horses. They will bite

it around police horses. They will bite

it around police horses. They will bite you and are immune from prosecution.

you and are immune from prosecution.

you and are immune from prosecution. Moving on. If I may for a moment, be

Moving on. If I may for a moment, be

Moving on. If I may for a moment, be serious with all my money makers and

serious with all my money makers and

serious with all my money makers and profit takers. Come here. Come on. Hey.

profit takers. Come here. Come on. Hey.

profit takers. Come here. Come on. Hey. Hey. Bring it in. Come on. You know,

Hey. Bring it in. Come on. You know,

Hey. Bring it in. Come on. You know, there's a lot of I don't think anything

there's a lot of I don't think anything

there's a lot of I don't think anything happened. Come on. Come a little closer.

happened. Come on. Come a little closer.

happened. Come on. Come a little closer. There's a lot of economic injustice in

There's a lot of economic injustice in

There's a lot of economic injustice in this world, and it's important to

this world, and it's important to

this world, and it's important to remember we have to take a stand against

remember we have to take a stand against

remember we have to take a stand against it. That's why I was so happy to see

it. That's why I was so happy to see

it. That's why I was so happy to see this.

this.

this. >> In New York, the mayoral push to tax the

>> In New York, the mayoral push to tax the

>> In New York, the mayoral push to tax the rich has one billionaire firing back.

rich has one billionaire firing back.

rich has one billionaire firing back. Real estate titan Steven Roth is

Real estate titan Steven Roth is

Real estate titan Steven Roth is sounding off saying, "I consider the

sounding off saying, "I consider the

sounding off saying, "I consider the phrase tax the rich when spit out with

phrase tax the rich when spit out with

phrase tax the rich when spit out with anger and contempt by politicians both

anger and contempt by politicians both

anger and contempt by politicians both here and across the country to be just

here and across the country to be just

here and across the country to be just as hateful as some disgusting racial

as hateful as some disgusting racial

as hateful as some disgusting racial slurs."

slurs."

slurs." Amen.

Amen.

Amen. My brother from another bank account

My brother from another bank account

My brother from another bank account number. Look, I'll say it. Rich people

number. Look, I'll say it. Rich people

number. Look, I'll say it. Rich people are not just some economic class. We're

are not just some economic class. We're

are not just some economic class. We're a race.

a race.

a race. And I don't think that's a controversial

And I don't think that's a controversial

And I don't think that's a controversial thing to say. I didn't choose to be

thing to say. I didn't choose to be

thing to say. I didn't choose to be rich. I was born this way. My My great

rich. I was born this way. My My great

rich. I was born this way. My My great greatgrandfather came to this country

greatgrandfather came to this country

greatgrandfather came to this country with nothing more than the silk shirt on

with nothing more than the silk shirt on

with nothing more than the silk shirt on his back. A shitload of money and

his back. A shitload of money and

his back. A shitload of money and several more suitcases filled with silk

several more suitcases filled with silk

several more suitcases filled with silk shirts and money. So this doesn't just

shirts and money. So this doesn't just

shirts and money. So this doesn't just hit home to me, it hits my vacation home

hit home to me, it hits my vacation home

hit home to me, it hits my vacation home as well. And despite all the hate, I

as well. And despite all the hate, I

as well. And despite all the hate, I still remain hopeful for all my fellow

still remain hopeful for all my fellow

still remain hopeful for all my fellow affluent Americans because let me tell

affluent Americans because let me tell

affluent Americans because let me tell you, I have been to the mountaintop.

you, I have been to the mountaintop.

you, I have been to the mountaintop. Yes, it was to go hella skiing with the

Yes, it was to go hella skiing with the

Yes, it was to go hella skiing with the Winklevoss twins, but the view was so

Winklevoss twins, but the view was so

Winklevoss twins, but the view was so sick, which inspired me to start my

sick, which inspired me to start my

sick, which inspired me to start my first not-rofit organization to combat

first not-rofit organization to combat

first not-rofit organization to combat anti-rich hate. Introducing the National

anti-rich hate. Introducing the National

anti-rich hate. Introducing the National Association for the Advancement of

Association for the Advancement of

Association for the Advancement of Cha-ching people, or as I call it, the

Cha-ching people, or as I call it, the

Cha-ching people, or as I call it, the NAACP.

NAACP.

NAACP. IT'S A GREAT NAME.

IT'S A GREAT NAME.

IT'S A GREAT NAME. Nobody take it. All right, that's it for

Nobody take it. All right, that's it for

Nobody take it. All right, that's it for me. I can hear the click clap of angry

me. I can hear the click clap of angry

me. I can hear the click clap of angry and aroused police forces stalking me

and aroused police forces stalking me

and aroused police forces stalking me outside the studio. But hey, that's just

outside the studio. But hey, that's just

outside the studio. But hey, that's just the cost of doing business.