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1
00:00:03,012 --> 00:00:05,179
CHARLIE:
Holy shit!
2
00:00:05,181 --> 00:00:07,014
Holy shit, that is steep!
3
00:00:07,016 --> 00:00:08,916
Trust me, this is
the best way to learn.
4
00:00:08,918 --> 00:00:10,317
CHARLIE:
See, this is why I don't like
5
00:00:10,319 --> 00:00:11,419
leaving Philly, man.
This is nuts.
6
00:00:11,421 --> 00:00:12,653
You're gonna be fine, man.
7
00:00:12,655 --> 00:00:14,355
The mountain is a
majestical place
8
00:00:14,357 --> 00:00:16,424
where you push your limits and
you maximize your potential.
9
00:00:16,426 --> 00:00:19,026
No, the mountain is a place
where you party, man,
10
00:00:19,028 --> 00:00:21,929
have fun. That's what
it's all about.
Yeah, like those '80s movies.
11
00:00:21,931 --> 00:00:24,432
Yeah, but we're not in a movie.
I mean, we're gonna get hurt.
We're not gonna get hurt.
12
00:00:24,434 --> 00:00:26,834
For some reason, the rules are
just different on the mountain.
13
00:00:26,836 --> 00:00:29,937
The rules for what?
Everything, dude.
You've seen those '80s movies.
14
00:00:29,939 --> 00:00:31,939
What do I do with my
hands? How do I ski?
Well, you're supposed
15
00:00:31,941 --> 00:00:35,042
to have poles.
Uh... You know what, hold on
to these guys for balance.
16
00:00:35,044 --> 00:00:36,577
These are glass.
Yeah.
17
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,212
And don't
break 'em, bitch.
What is this,
18
00:00:38,214 --> 00:00:41,048
a double black diamond?
I wish it was a triple black.
19
00:00:41,050 --> 00:00:43,284
Dudes, let's shred.
20
00:00:43,286 --> 00:00:45,186
♪ ♪
(wind whistling)
21
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,127
♪ ♪
22
00:01:07,977 --> 00:01:09,977
♪ I remember ♪
23
00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:12,279
♪ One girl ♪
24
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:13,614
♪ Saw her again ♪
25
00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:16,584
♪ In a magazine ♪
26
00:01:16,586 --> 00:01:18,586
♪ Front cover ♪
27
00:01:18,588 --> 00:01:19,787
♪ Big star ♪
28
00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:21,622
♪ Showing things ♪
29
00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,257
♪ That I'd never seen ♪
30
00:01:23,259 --> 00:01:25,459
♪ Well, maybe... ♪
31
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:27,394
♪ ♪
32
00:01:27,396 --> 00:01:28,295
(whooping)
33
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,964
Whoo, yeah!
34
00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:31,632
Still got it, baby!
35
00:01:31,634 --> 00:01:33,400
Rip city!
36
00:01:33,402 --> 00:01:34,935
Wonder how
Charlie's doing.
37
00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:37,004
(Charlie screaming)
Oh, here he comes.
38
00:01:37,006 --> 00:01:39,974
(screaming continues)
39
00:01:41,577 --> 00:01:43,811
DEE:
Whoa! Whoa!
40
00:01:44,780 --> 00:01:46,113
Uh...
41
00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:47,314
(laughs)
42
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:48,816
Yeah...!
43
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,584
(cheering, whooping)
44
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,653
♪ ♪
45
00:02:17,813 --> 00:02:19,947
MAN (over P.A.): Another
beautiful day at Alpine Ridge.
46
00:02:19,949 --> 00:02:21,849
End of the season
is right around the corner,
47
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,817
so get those turns in
while you can,
48
00:02:23,819 --> 00:02:26,720
and don't forget to sign up
for the big race this Sunday,
49
00:02:26,722 --> 00:02:29,156
which will determine
the best skier on the mountain.
50
00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:31,292
CHARLIE:
That was totally insane. I mean, I can't believe
51
00:02:31,294 --> 00:02:32,860
you guys can ski like that.
Hmm?
52
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:34,695
It's just nuts.
I'm not doing it again, man.
53
00:02:34,697 --> 00:02:36,363
What are you talking about?
It's so dangerous.
54
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,566
No. You did a great job, man.
Hey, look, is your body hurt?
55
00:02:38,568 --> 00:02:40,334
No.
You okay?
56
00:02:40,336 --> 00:02:42,169
Yeah.
That's 'cause it's
mountain rules, man.
57
00:02:42,171 --> 00:02:44,004
I don't get that, though.
I just feel like I got lucky.
58
00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:46,207
Nah. You just need
to learn to use your
edges a little bit more.
59
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,175
Learn to turn...
DEE: Right down
the mountain!
60
00:02:48,177 --> 00:02:50,377
Après-ski!
Let's get our drink on!
61
00:02:50,379 --> 00:02:52,146
No, I don't think I'm
gonna be doing that.
62
00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:54,215
I'm gonna get a sensible meal,
head back to my room,
63
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,716
log in my times,
64
00:02:55,718 --> 00:02:57,885
chart my progress,
'cause I'm gonna win.
65
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,386
Win what?
66
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,588
At skiing.
MAN: Oh, hey.
67
00:03:00,590 --> 00:03:02,156
What's shakin', brother?
68
00:03:02,158 --> 00:03:03,891
Oh, what's shakin'?
Well, I'll tell you
69
00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,327
what's shakin'--
these skis, quite literally.
70
00:03:06,329 --> 00:03:09,029
Now, I need these things waxed
and sharpened by 8:00 a.m.
71
00:03:09,031 --> 00:03:10,564
I want to make first tracks.
72
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,166
No problemo.
Anything else?
73
00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:13,834
You guys need helmets?
74
00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:15,569
Uh, I'll take a helmet.
While you're back there,
75
00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:18,405
could you slap a sticker on the
side of mine that says "pussy"?
76
00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:21,542
Yeah, I feel you, babe,
but those are the rules.
77
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,244
Whatever, dude. Part of
what makes skiing so fun
78
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:25,746
is that your brains could
get bashed in, in any moment.
79
00:03:25,748 --> 00:03:27,014
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,
80
00:03:27,016 --> 00:03:28,682
it didn't used
to always be this way.
81
00:03:28,684 --> 00:03:30,784
This used to be Party Mountain.
82
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,786
Hot babes, cold brews.
And now I hear some
83
00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:35,356
corporate stooge wants to turn
this place into a private resort
84
00:03:35,358 --> 00:03:38,792
for rich CEOs.
They can't do that
to Party Mountain.
85
00:03:38,794 --> 00:03:40,861
It's not called Party Mountain.
It's called Alpine Ridge.
86
00:03:40,863 --> 00:03:43,297
There's one of those
yuppie vultures now.
87
00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:46,133
MAC:
Don't worry.
88
00:03:46,135 --> 00:03:47,768
We got this covered.
89
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,637
Cool.
90
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,906
Show this fat-cat asshole
what's what!
91
00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:53,907
Eat this, bitch!
92
00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,442
(laughing)
MAC:
Oh, shit.
93
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,144
What'd you do that for?
DEE:
Oh, sorry, Frank.
94
00:03:57,146 --> 00:03:58,545
We thought you were
some jerk-off
95
00:03:58,547 --> 00:04:00,114
who bought the mountain.
96
00:04:00,116 --> 00:04:01,949
I am the jerk-off
who bought the mountain.
97
00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,083
What?!
I'm turning it
98
00:04:03,085 --> 00:04:05,219
into a members-only resort
99
00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:09,223
for millionaires to plow
their trophy whores in private.
100
00:04:09,225 --> 00:04:11,325
Whoa! That sounds
amazing, Frank.
101
00:04:11,327 --> 00:04:13,560
I'm in. I'm in.
What are you talking about?
102
00:04:13,562 --> 00:04:14,962
And ruin Party Mountain?
103
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,330
MAC: You know, who cares
about your stupid plans?
104
00:04:16,332 --> 00:04:18,799
Let's go rage, Dee.
Hang on a second.
105
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,234
I-I'm, like, so lost.
106
00:04:20,236 --> 00:04:22,670
So, uh, who do I go with
in this situation?
107
00:04:22,672 --> 00:04:24,838
Well, that depends, Charlie.
You could go drink cheap beer
108
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:27,408
amongst swine and savages,
like you would on any other day,
109
00:04:27,410 --> 00:04:29,810
or... you could get the most
out of this mountain.
110
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:31,845
And you could get
the most out of yourself
111
00:04:31,847 --> 00:04:34,348
by joining an elite class
of athletes and gentlemen alike.
112
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:35,816
Right, Frank?
Yes.
113
00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,584
Huh. That sounds kind of cool.
114
00:04:37,586 --> 00:04:40,421
Yeah.
All right, you guys go--
why should I go with you?
115
00:04:40,423 --> 00:04:42,022
Go with them.
Who cares?
116
00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:43,724
We're here for two days.
117
00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:47,795
You guys it is!
All right.
118
00:04:47,797 --> 00:04:50,364
♪ ♪
119
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,766
Hey-yo!
120
00:04:52,768 --> 00:04:55,269
Hey, man.
Remember us from the ski shop?
121
00:04:55,271 --> 00:04:56,637
Ah, the party guys!
122
00:04:56,639 --> 00:04:57,538
Hey!
Yeah!
123
00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:58,372
Come on in.
124
00:04:58,374 --> 00:04:59,640
Yeah!
Yeah!
125
00:04:59,642 --> 00:05:01,709
Awesome. Awesome.
126
00:05:01,711 --> 00:05:03,711
Well... looks like you guys had
127
00:05:03,713 --> 00:05:05,713
a real shit-kicker
last night, huh?
128
00:05:05,715 --> 00:05:06,880
Rager!
129
00:05:06,882 --> 00:05:08,982
Oh, oh, the cans.
130
00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:13,153
No, no, we're just recycling
to help pay the rent.
131
00:05:13,155 --> 00:05:14,455
Oh.
Mm.
132
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:16,457
That's my roommate,
Turkey.
133
00:05:16,459 --> 00:05:18,959
We call him Turkey, 'cause his
favorite drink is Wild Turkey.
134
00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:20,127
Awesome! Yes!
Oh, badass!
135
00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,362
Like your suit, too.
136
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,230
What are you, coming
from a Gatsby party?
137
00:05:23,232 --> 00:05:24,798
No, I was in court all day.
138
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,900
I was trying to win back
custody of my daughter.
139
00:05:26,902 --> 00:05:28,569
Oh.
Mm.
140
00:05:28,571 --> 00:05:30,070
(chuckles):
That's a bit of a downer.
Yeah.
141
00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:32,039
Yeah, pretty much.
142
00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,675
Hey. Hey, Roach. Roach,
come meet some people.
143
00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:36,710
Who stole my goddamn burrito?
144
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,146
No, it's there, Roach.
I just moved it to make room
145
00:05:39,148 --> 00:05:40,981
for my coleslaw. Look.
146
00:05:40,983 --> 00:05:42,983
Did you mess with it?
147
00:05:44,053 --> 00:05:45,419
Did you come in it?
148
00:05:46,756 --> 00:05:49,390
Did you come in my burrito?!
149
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,058
I didn't come
in your burrito!
150
00:05:51,060 --> 00:05:52,893
I wouldn't do
that to you!
151
00:05:55,998 --> 00:05:57,531
He's a little
squirrelly
152
00:05:57,533 --> 00:05:58,932
from the concussions.
153
00:05:58,934 --> 00:06:01,301
Like I said,
no helmets back in the day.
154
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,773
Guys, I got to admit,
this is, uh...
155
00:06:05,775 --> 00:06:09,009
it's not as much of a party vibe
as it is a, uh...
156
00:06:09,011 --> 00:06:10,711
A pathetic vibe.
Yeah.
157
00:06:10,713 --> 00:06:12,012
MAC (chuckles):
Yeah, I mean,
158
00:06:12,014 --> 00:06:14,248
come on, this used to be
Party Mountain,
159
00:06:14,250 --> 00:06:16,049
you know, and...
and Babe Manor,
160
00:06:16,051 --> 00:06:17,951
that's the capital
of Party Mountain.
161
00:06:17,953 --> 00:06:20,621
Yeah.
When was the last time
you even had a babe in here?
162
00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:24,091
Oh, uh... my daughter stopped by
about six weeks ago.
163
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,693
Served me a court summons.
I say count it.
164
00:06:26,695 --> 00:06:28,429
No, don't.
Don't count it.
Oh, guys, guys,
165
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,130
guys, guys, don't you
miss the old days,
166
00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:31,932
when you were
the kings of this mountain?
167
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:35,235
You used to rip sweet powder,
then come home and crush brews.
168
00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:36,537
I do.
169
00:06:36,539 --> 00:06:37,905
Let's take back
this mountain!
170
00:06:37,907 --> 00:06:39,206
Why don't you
guys dig deep
171
00:06:39,208 --> 00:06:40,641
and show me those
inner party animals.
172
00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:41,942
Let's crush some brews!
173
00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:43,610
Let's empty some cans!
174
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,412
Yeah! Whoo!
Yeah!
175
00:06:45,414 --> 00:06:46,547
Hey, hey, hey!
176
00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:48,749
Rent money!
No, no.
177
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:50,083
No, no, no, no, no.
Whoa, no, no.
178
00:06:50,085 --> 00:06:51,318
Drink 'em.
Drink 'em.
179
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,387
Oh, yeah,
it's been so long, I forgot.
180
00:06:53,389 --> 00:06:54,755
Let's drink 'em,
181
00:06:54,757 --> 00:06:56,657
Whoo!
then recycle!
182
00:06:56,659 --> 00:06:57,658
Yeah!
183
00:06:57,660 --> 00:06:58,959
Sure. Yeah.
Okay.
184
00:07:00,162 --> 00:07:02,896
♪ ♪
185
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:08,135
FRANK:
2,000 acres of private powder,
186
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:11,438
high-speed lifts,
five-star lodging,
187
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,074
and a state-of-the-art spa.
188
00:07:15,411 --> 00:07:18,479
Snow Palace.
189
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,481
Well, Frank,
it's... marvelous.
190
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,783
Thank you.
There's only one
thing missing.
191
00:07:22,785 --> 00:07:24,585
What's that?
192
00:07:24,587 --> 00:07:27,120
The Dennis Reynolds
Ski Academy.
CHARLIE: Could be a...
193
00:07:27,122 --> 00:07:29,523
a good idea
to get a model of that.
194
00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:31,158
What are you doing?
Hmm?
195
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,593
What are you doing,
eating a tree?
196
00:07:32,595 --> 00:07:34,328
Yeah, I thought
this was made out of candy.
197
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,696
It's a plastic tree, Charlie.
198
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:36,964
It's not made out of candy.
199
00:07:36,966 --> 00:07:38,799
You said
that this was a candy model.
200
00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:41,168
I never said
it was a candy model.
I believe I heard
201
00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:43,136
you mention it was a
model made out of candy.
202
00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:44,671
FRANK: Well, let's just
focus on the banquet
203
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,673
that I'm having tomorrow night
204
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:49,676
to entice local investors.
205
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,211
It'd be a good idea
to get a model of the banquet.
206
00:07:51,213 --> 00:07:52,779
We could make that candy.
207
00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:54,515
I'd like to get a
visual on that banquet.
208
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,017
And we may as well
make it candy.
It should be candy.
209
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,786
All right, look, forget
about the model, all right?
Let's not talk about the model.
210
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:02,856
The only model
that you should know is Tatiana.
211
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,958
Tatiana, come in here.
212
00:08:06,495 --> 00:08:08,295
Meet Tatiana.
213
00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:10,964
She came all the way
from Bulgaria
214
00:08:10,966 --> 00:08:13,634
to hand-deliver her finest
215
00:08:13,636 --> 00:08:15,369
caviar.
216
00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:17,070
Nicely done, Frank.
217
00:08:17,072 --> 00:08:19,973
She'll be a fitting reward
for me after I win the big race.
218
00:08:19,975 --> 00:08:21,542
Until then,
219
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:24,011
Tatiana,
I want you to clean yourself,
220
00:08:24,013 --> 00:08:26,880
for I will enter you hard
and deep,
221
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:30,851
and it will last for as long
or as short as I please.
222
00:08:30,853 --> 00:08:33,520
But you will be clean.
223
00:08:33,522 --> 00:08:37,324
Only when you are clean
will you know my power.
224
00:08:37,326 --> 00:08:39,226
(cheering,
music playing in distance)
225
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,562
What the hell is that?
226
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:44,231
It sounds like a party.
227
00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:47,868
(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose"
playing)
228
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:50,404
(Mac and Dee shouting)
229
00:08:50,406 --> 00:08:52,839
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
230
00:08:52,841 --> 00:08:54,875
(whooping)
Yeah! Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
231
00:08:54,877 --> 00:08:58,111
This is so great. I can't thank
you enough. I feel alive again.
232
00:08:58,113 --> 00:09:00,948
And look at all the cans.
We're gonna be rich!
You got to drop it
233
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:03,050
with the cans, all right?
Nobody cares about the cans.
Really. Yep.
234
00:09:03,052 --> 00:09:04,952
Oh, okay, well, what about...
235
00:09:04,954 --> 00:09:06,687
these cans?
Oh! Oh, my God!
236
00:09:06,689 --> 00:09:09,022
You can't do that!
You can't do that.
237
00:09:09,024 --> 00:09:11,959
Though they don't seem to mind.
They look like
they're really enjoying it.
238
00:09:11,961 --> 00:09:13,226
Yeah, mountain rules, baby!
239
00:09:13,228 --> 00:09:15,796
Everybody get your tits out!
240
00:09:15,798 --> 00:09:17,898
(cheering)
Hell yes!
241
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,967
He just said,
"Take your tits out,"
Yeah.
242
00:09:19,969 --> 00:09:22,903
and they all just
took their tits out.
Yeah, I'm gonna keep mine in,
243
00:09:22,905 --> 00:09:24,938
just for now.
(music stops)
244
00:09:27,376 --> 00:09:30,310
Party's over, burnout.
Whoops.
245
00:09:30,312 --> 00:09:32,079
Frank Reynolds.
246
00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:33,447
Wow.
247
00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:35,082
It's been...
248
00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:37,117
30 years to the day.
249
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,819
How they hanging, Drisko?
250
00:09:38,821 --> 00:09:42,089
Uh, I lost one of 'em.
Prostate thing. You know.
251
00:09:42,091 --> 00:09:44,925
Yeah, yeah, me, too. It's
still bouncing around in there,
252
00:09:44,927 --> 00:09:47,327
but it don't do nothing.
I'm gonna stop this.
253
00:09:47,329 --> 00:09:49,630
You guys know each other?
We skied together.
254
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:52,466
This mountain wasn't big enough
for both of us.
255
00:09:52,468 --> 00:09:55,402
Loser of the big race
was banned for 30 years.
256
00:09:55,404 --> 00:09:57,804
Looks like old Frank here
let his mouth write a check
257
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,106
his ass couldn't cash.
258
00:09:59,108 --> 00:10:01,141
(crowd oohing)
259
00:10:03,112 --> 00:10:06,113
Well, I just wrote
another check.
260
00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:08,949
To buy the mountain.
(crowd groaning)
261
00:10:08,951 --> 00:10:11,685
How 'bout we race
for the mountain?
262
00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:13,620
Or are you scared
you'll lose?
263
00:10:13,622 --> 00:10:15,355
(crowd oohing)
264
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:18,792
I don't race no more.
265
00:10:18,794 --> 00:10:21,695
I let my son race for me.
266
00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:23,363
Oh...!
267
00:10:23,365 --> 00:10:25,198
Really?
268
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,800
Your son, huh?
269
00:10:26,802 --> 00:10:28,268
Don't think
you can beat me?
270
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,504
Oh, I'll beat you.
271
00:10:30,506 --> 00:10:33,173
You better go enjoy your party
while it lasts.
272
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:36,043
It's gonna be your last one.
273
00:10:36,045 --> 00:10:38,345
Burnout.
274
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:41,448
(cackles)
275
00:10:47,489 --> 00:10:49,623
MAN (over P.A.): Last day
to squeeze in some turns
276
00:10:49,625 --> 00:10:52,225
before tomorrow's big race.
On a side note,
277
00:10:52,227 --> 00:10:54,227
it's good to see Frank Reynolds
back on the hill.
278
00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:57,230
We'll see if he can patch things
up with old rival Dave Drisko.
279
00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:58,999
But I wouldn't count on it.
280
00:10:59,001 --> 00:11:01,568
Yo, hey, Dennis, did
you just hear that?
What?
281
00:11:01,570 --> 00:11:04,004
The-the P.A. announcement.
What-what was that?
282
00:11:04,006 --> 00:11:06,206
Well, there's a lot of people
on this mountain, Charlie.
283
00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:08,308
Everybody's gotta stay informed.
Yeah, but that guy
was, like, saying
284
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,976
a bunch of, like, really
personal information about us.
285
00:11:09,978 --> 00:11:12,345
Like, how does he know that?
Right. That's how it works.
286
00:11:12,347 --> 00:11:14,414
Why's he talking about us?
There's, like, hundreds
of people out here.
287
00:11:14,416 --> 00:11:16,249
Well, we're the most
important thing that's
happening right now.
288
00:11:16,251 --> 00:11:18,251
What?
Look, I-I think
I got something
289
00:11:18,253 --> 00:11:21,388
that's gonna clear this all up
for you. Meet my race team.
290
00:11:23,859 --> 00:11:25,392
Where'd these
guys come from?
291
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:27,060
Switzerland?
292
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,429
Yeah, but they came here and
they're racing with us?
293
00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:31,331
I don't... I-I don't
understand that at all.
294
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:33,100
Well, I needed somebody
to be behind me.
295
00:11:33,102 --> 00:11:34,768
I mean, this guy's my...
kind of my captain,
296
00:11:34,770 --> 00:11:36,670
and these guys are my goons,
you know? If I need 'em
297
00:11:36,672 --> 00:11:38,271
to do something for me,
back me up, you know,
298
00:11:38,273 --> 00:11:39,906
if I'm getting into some...
And... they just
299
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,374
showed up and they're
racing with you?
300
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:43,176
Yeah.
301
00:11:43,178 --> 00:11:44,911
All right. No
more questions.
302
00:11:44,913 --> 00:11:47,748
Okay, good. All right.
Uh, yeah, I-I...
Okay. (scoffs)
303
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,683
All right, now,
listen up, guys.
304
00:11:49,685 --> 00:11:51,284
Tomorrow's the big race.
305
00:11:51,286 --> 00:11:54,955
And anything less than first
place will not be tolerated.
306
00:11:54,957 --> 00:11:57,424
In fact,
it'll be punished.
307
00:11:57,426 --> 00:12:00,861
But, remember,
I want you to have fun.
308
00:12:00,863 --> 00:12:03,296
But not if it means you're not
gonna get first place.
309
00:12:03,298 --> 00:12:05,265
'Cause I'll-I'll punish you.
310
00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:08,435
All right, now go limber up, and
I'll-I'll meet you at the chair.
311
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:10,737
Let's go, guys.
March, march, march.
312
00:12:10,739 --> 00:12:13,874
Wow. Uh, I got to
hand it to you,
313
00:12:13,876 --> 00:12:15,976
looks like you got
a pretty good team.
314
00:12:15,978 --> 00:12:18,645
I think so, too.
Yeah, yeah. Uh, look,
I don't... I don't get
315
00:12:18,647 --> 00:12:21,381
anything that's happening.
So, uh, I'm out,
316
00:12:21,383 --> 00:12:23,216
you know what I mean? And maybe
we should drink some beer,
317
00:12:23,218 --> 00:12:24,618
eat some snow, and just...
318
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,120
(bottle shatters)
What the hell, man?
319
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,822
I'm disappointed in you.
320
00:12:28,824 --> 00:12:30,791
I thought you were a champion.
321
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,560
Why?
You showed me
some real stuff out there, guy.
322
00:12:33,562 --> 00:12:35,595
I was falling.
You were falling,
but you were fast.
323
00:12:35,597 --> 00:12:37,631
But I crashed
into some tables.
324
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,666
Crashing and exploding is all
part of the learning curve.
325
00:12:39,668 --> 00:12:41,134
I could turn you
into a champion,
326
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:42,969
but that's clearly
not what you want.
327
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,739
You want to just be
a burnout and a loser
like those other guys.
328
00:12:45,741 --> 00:12:47,073
Dude, I don't even
understand you, man.
329
00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,175
Just, like,
take it easy...
330
00:12:48,177 --> 00:12:49,309
Where are those coming from?
331
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,111
I'm out, dude.
332
00:12:51,113 --> 00:12:53,480
Like, it's crazy to me.
333
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:54,981
I'm gonna hang out
with Mac and Dee
334
00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,850
and see if I can
figure them out, man...
335
00:12:56,852 --> 00:12:59,352
Oh, yeah, yeah. Go hang with
those other two burnout losers.
336
00:12:59,354 --> 00:13:01,087
Yeah, go ahead. You know
what your problem is, buddy?
337
00:13:01,089 --> 00:13:03,323
You got no allegiance.
We're here for two days!
338
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,859
MAN (over P.A.):
Looks like Charlie Kelly's
walking off the mountain
339
00:13:05,861 --> 00:13:07,961
and out of the big race,
ladies and gentlemen.
340
00:13:07,963 --> 00:13:09,596
He knows my name!
341
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,199
He knows my name!
342
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:15,202
DRISKO:
Oh, yeah. Here we go.
343
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,305
Take a look.
344
00:13:18,307 --> 00:13:20,507
Oh, wow!
345
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,342
Can you see through the wall?
Yeah. Yeah,
you can see right through.
346
00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,878
Okay, I think I'm
getting it. Yeah.
Yeah? Okay.
347
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:28,815
Hey! I heard your guys' voices.
What are you guys doing in here?
DEE and MAC: Hey!
348
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:31,518
We are in the middle of a prank
war with Frank and Dennis.
Yeah.
349
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,220
All right, nice. What's
the prank? What's the prank?
350
00:13:33,222 --> 00:13:34,654
We're drilling a hole
in the women's shower
351
00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:36,857
so we can look at 'em naked.
Yeah.
352
00:13:36,859 --> 00:13:40,327
(laughing)
Why? What-what does that have
to do with Frank and Dennis?
353
00:13:40,329 --> 00:13:42,195
I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, nothing, really.
354
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:44,798
It's just a warm-up prank
to get the juices flowing.
Yeah!
355
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,800
(chuckling)
Warm-up. We're warming up.
356
00:13:46,802 --> 00:13:48,702
I don't want to be a bummer,
but I kind of
357
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:51,304
don't get how spying
on naked, unaware women
358
00:13:51,306 --> 00:13:53,640
is a prank at all.
MAC:
Me, either.
359
00:13:53,642 --> 00:13:55,475
Me, either. Me, either.
Well, the real prank
360
00:13:55,477 --> 00:13:57,544
DEE: Mm-hmm.
is when I jam my
dick through that hole
361
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,379
and yell, "Special
delivery!"
362
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,748
Oh, dude, I don't think so.
CHARLIE:
Oh, no.
363
00:14:01,750 --> 00:14:04,050
You can't do that, man.
You'd get in a lot of trouble
for something like that.
364
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,585
That's, like... Yeah.
Maybe we can just
365
00:14:05,587 --> 00:14:07,754
do something that doesn't
involve naked women.
366
00:14:07,756 --> 00:14:10,423
Just... You know, 'cause
that's not fun for me.
367
00:14:10,425 --> 00:14:12,192
How 'bout if I
show you my dick?
368
00:14:12,194 --> 00:14:13,260
Why would I want that?
369
00:14:13,262 --> 00:14:15,028
Oh, okay, okay, it's a prank
370
00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:17,530
if you don't want to see it
but he shows you anyway.
371
00:14:17,532 --> 00:14:20,333
This guy gets it.
It's gonna be hilarious.
I think I get it.
372
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:22,869
I'm gonna get myself hard,
and I will show you what I mean.
373
00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:24,738
Hold on a sec.
Oh.
Oh.
374
00:14:29,711 --> 00:14:32,712
Oh, you bastard! You know what,
if you guys are already hard,
375
00:14:32,714 --> 00:14:35,782
just go ahead of me and
I'll-I'll just circle back.
376
00:14:35,784 --> 00:14:38,251
Oh, God.
377
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,686
(Rick Springfield's
"Jessie's Girl" playing)
378
00:14:43,058 --> 00:14:46,359
♪ Jessie is a friend ♪
379
00:14:46,361 --> 00:14:50,230
♪ Yeah, I know he's been
a good friend of mine ♪
380
00:14:50,232 --> 00:14:52,198
♪ But lately
something's changed ♪
381
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,900
♪ It ain't hard to define ♪
382
00:14:53,902 --> 00:14:56,369
♪ Jessie's got himself a girl ♪
CHARLIE: Oh, shit.
383
00:14:56,371 --> 00:14:58,238
♪ And I want to make her mine ♪
384
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,607
♪ And she's watching him
with those eyes ♪
385
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,143
♪ And she's loving him
with that body ♪
386
00:15:03,145 --> 00:15:04,611
♪ I just know it ♪
387
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:06,246
♪ Yeah, and he's
holding her... ♪
388
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:08,481
Hello, Charlie.
389
00:15:08,483 --> 00:15:11,584
Oh, my God. Uh, I'm so sorry,
I didn't mean to spy.
390
00:15:11,586 --> 00:15:14,087
I was just walking by;
I'm not a Peeping Tom.
391
00:15:14,089 --> 00:15:15,922
Oh, Charlie, I do not mind.
392
00:15:15,924 --> 00:15:17,891
We are on the mountain.
393
00:15:17,893 --> 00:15:19,893
(chuckles): Yeah.
What does that mean?
394
00:15:19,895 --> 00:15:21,461
Everyone keeps saying,
"We're on the mountain,"
395
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,430
but I-I don't get it,
you know what I mean?
396
00:15:23,432 --> 00:15:24,965
Look, where I come
from, you know,
397
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,800
jamming your dick through
a hole in the wall,
398
00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,134
that-that's assault,
that's a felony,
399
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,070
and, uh, it's
just plain wrong.
400
00:15:30,072 --> 00:15:31,237
Something bothering you,
Charlie?
401
00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:33,073
You do not like my breasts?
402
00:15:33,075 --> 00:15:36,109
Uh, no, no, your breasts...
your breasts are great.
403
00:15:36,111 --> 00:15:38,979
Do you want to jump in with me
in the hot tub now?
404
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,280
♪ ♪
405
00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:43,016
Yeah. You know,
um... Yeah. Yeah.
406
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:44,951
I'm gonna stop complaining
about the mountain.
407
00:15:44,953 --> 00:15:47,320
I'm just gonna, I'm gonna let
the mountain work for me.
408
00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:48,455
Now we're talking.
409
00:15:48,457 --> 00:15:50,123
(laughing):
My! Here we go.
410
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:52,525
♪ You know, I wish that I had
Jessie's girl ♪
411
00:15:52,527 --> 00:15:55,695
♪ I wish that
I had Jessie's girl ♪
412
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,966
♪ Where can I find
a woman like that? ♪
413
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:03,436
♪ Like Jessie's girl ♪
414
00:16:03,438 --> 00:16:06,439
♪ I wish that
I had Jessie's girl ♪
415
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:08,775
♪ ♪
416
00:16:08,777 --> 00:16:10,677
♪ Where can I find a woman ♪
417
00:16:11,646 --> 00:16:13,446
♪ Where can I find ♪
418
00:16:13,448 --> 00:16:15,682
♪ A woman like that? ♪
419
00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:18,752
(playing jazz melody)
420
00:16:30,832 --> 00:16:33,133
MAN (over P.A.):
Welcome to the annual big race.
421
00:16:33,135 --> 00:16:35,168
Who will take home
the top prize?
422
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:37,337
Local free spirit Dave Drisko...
423
00:16:37,339 --> 00:16:38,805
(crowd cheering)
424
00:16:38,807 --> 00:16:40,473
...or fierce new competitor
Dennis Reynolds?
425
00:16:40,475 --> 00:16:41,875
(crowd jeering)
426
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:44,377
The stakes are high
because the loser today
427
00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,579
is walking off the mountain
for 30 years.
428
00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:49,749
Do you realize how important
this race is, Dennis?
429
00:16:49,751 --> 00:16:51,751
Well, yeah, 'cause he just said
how important it is.
430
00:16:51,753 --> 00:16:53,553
I hope you got
your bags packed.
431
00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,055
I'm gonna get
rid of you
432
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,656
once and for all,
Frank Reynolds.
433
00:16:56,658 --> 00:16:58,425
I'm gonna save
Party Mountain
434
00:16:58,427 --> 00:17:00,860
and bring back the glory
of the good old days.
435
00:17:00,862 --> 00:17:02,062
MAN:
Freeze! Police!
436
00:17:04,433 --> 00:17:06,866
David Drisko,
you're under arrest.
437
00:17:06,868 --> 00:17:08,501
MAC:
Oh, shit!
438
00:17:08,503 --> 00:17:10,236
They framed Drisko
so he couldn't do
439
00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,771
the big race!
Oh, come on!
440
00:17:11,773 --> 00:17:13,606
This man has committed
a litany of sexual assaults.
441
00:17:13,608 --> 00:17:15,708
His semen was recovered
from crime scenes
442
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,510
all over the mountain.
443
00:17:17,512 --> 00:17:18,945
Let's go, pal.
444
00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:20,513
Lose the hat.
What?
445
00:17:20,515 --> 00:17:23,883
(crowd groans, laughter)
446
00:17:23,885 --> 00:17:26,052
This guy might not be as
cool as we thought he was.
447
00:17:26,054 --> 00:17:27,687
Even his awesome hair
is bullshit.
448
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:29,456
You forgot one charge.
What's that?
449
00:17:29,458 --> 00:17:31,191
Assaulting an officer!
450
00:17:31,193 --> 00:17:33,593
Never stop partying!
451
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:34,694
Oh!
452
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,100
That'll do.
You know?
If I'm being honest,
453
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,367
he probably deserves it.
Yeah.
454
00:17:41,369 --> 00:17:43,870
Never stop partying, bitches.
455
00:17:43,872 --> 00:17:45,805
Never stop partying!
456
00:17:45,807 --> 00:17:47,474
So...
457
00:17:47,476 --> 00:17:50,376
which one of you losers wants
to win a silver medal?
458
00:17:50,378 --> 00:17:52,312
Ugh. Not me--
I got blasted last night.
459
00:17:52,314 --> 00:17:54,280
I'm so sick.
I don't feel
good, either.
460
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,615
I'd also like
to remove myself
461
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,417
from the sexual
predator team.
462
00:17:57,419 --> 00:17:59,052
MAN (over P.A.):
Well, I guess that does it.
463
00:17:59,054 --> 00:18:01,621
The winner by default
of the annual big race is...
464
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,389
CHARLIE:
Not so fast!
465
00:18:03,391 --> 00:18:04,791
(crowd oohing)
466
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:06,726
(chuckles)
467
00:18:06,728 --> 00:18:08,261
This is good.
468
00:18:08,263 --> 00:18:10,430
So you gonna race for them?
469
00:18:10,432 --> 00:18:12,298
No, Dennis, I'm gonna
race for everyone.
470
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,434
I want to race
for the people.
471
00:18:14,436 --> 00:18:16,669
(whooping, cheering)
You see, last night
Tatiana taught me
472
00:18:16,671 --> 00:18:18,238
all about Communism.
473
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,573
Cold, hard winters,
gross soups.
474
00:18:20,575 --> 00:18:23,276
She also taught me
a lot about sex.
475
00:18:23,278 --> 00:18:24,811
Sweet sex, amazing sex,
476
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,913
a lot of sex,
Jacuzzi sex, Dennis!
477
00:18:26,915 --> 00:18:29,082
♪ Jessie's girl... ♪
478
00:18:29,084 --> 00:18:30,316
♪ ♪
479
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,651
It was amazing.
480
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:33,786
So I get it now--
I like the mountain.
481
00:18:33,788 --> 00:18:35,522
I understand
the rules.
482
00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,825
And I'm gonna shred.
483
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:41,194
Well...
484
00:18:41,196 --> 00:18:43,496
this ought to be rich.
485
00:18:44,599 --> 00:18:45,932
(chuckles)
486
00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:47,700
(cackling)
487
00:18:47,702 --> 00:18:50,236
(continues cackling)
488
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,474
(mocking):
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
489
00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:57,210
♪ ♪
490
00:19:13,461 --> 00:19:15,795
(cheering, whooping)
491
00:19:15,797 --> 00:19:17,630
♪ ♪
492
00:19:24,406 --> 00:19:26,472
He's-he's getting destroyed.
493
00:19:37,419 --> 00:19:39,419
(loud crack)
494
00:19:39,421 --> 00:19:40,687
CROWD:
Oh!
495
00:19:40,689 --> 00:19:42,055
Oh!
496
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,490
My ankles are broken!
497
00:19:44,492 --> 00:19:45,525
(yells)
498
00:19:45,527 --> 00:19:49,495
My ankles are broken for sure!
499
00:19:49,497 --> 00:19:50,730
His ankles are broken!
500
00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,932
He has broken his ankles!
501
00:19:52,934 --> 00:19:54,567
Oh, they're surely broken!
502
00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:55,902
Charlie can still win!
503
00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,103
(cheering)
Go, Charlie!
504
00:19:57,105 --> 00:19:59,572
MAC:
Come on, Charlie!
505
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,941
Little faster! Come on!
A little faster, bud.
506
00:20:01,943 --> 00:20:04,010
DEE:
Straighten out!
507
00:20:04,012 --> 00:20:05,712
(grunting)
508
00:20:05,714 --> 00:20:07,247
No! No!
No! No!
509
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,549
(fierce yell)
510
00:20:09,551 --> 00:20:10,850
Yeah!
Ah, shit!
511
00:20:10,852 --> 00:20:12,118
Okay.
512
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,553
DENNIS:
I won!
DEE: All right.
513
00:20:13,555 --> 00:20:15,555
The mountain is ours, Frank!
514
00:20:15,557 --> 00:20:16,889
(laughing)
515
00:20:16,891 --> 00:20:19,459
Uh... not exactly.
516
00:20:19,461 --> 00:20:20,793
Uh...
517
00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,962
actually, uh...
the whole Snow Palace thing
518
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:24,864
was, uh, all for show.
519
00:20:24,866 --> 00:20:26,933
(groans)
Huh?
520
00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:29,636
I needed to distract the local
environmentalist groups
521
00:20:29,638 --> 00:20:32,405
while I fracked the mountain.
522
00:20:32,407 --> 00:20:35,141
Wh-Wh... What?!
You fracked the mountain?
523
00:20:35,143 --> 00:20:37,076
Yeah. Yeah,
the banquet, the race--
524
00:20:37,078 --> 00:20:38,611
it was all set up.
525
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,613
It was just a diversion,
it was...
526
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,916
a distraction, because
I wanted to get into this hill
527
00:20:43,918 --> 00:20:46,619
and suck out
its natural resources.
528
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,255
So all this here was
just one big setup?
529
00:20:49,257 --> 00:20:51,557
Yeah.
I hired the hookers,
530
00:20:51,559 --> 00:20:54,160
so you could rip
their tops off.
That makes sense.
531
00:20:54,162 --> 00:20:56,763
Oh...
That makes a
lot of sense.
532
00:20:56,765 --> 00:20:59,132
So what do we do now?
I'm good. You want to...
533
00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:00,800
you want to stick around,
it's okay.
No.
534
00:21:00,802 --> 00:21:02,502
It'd be good to go back to
Philly, right? I mean...
535
00:21:02,504 --> 00:21:04,070
I'm pretty tired.
It was quite a weekend.
536
00:21:04,072 --> 00:21:05,471
Honestly, I don't even
like skiing that much.
537
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:08,141
(groaning): I-I need to go
see a doctor.
538
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,942
Yeah, I should probably see a
doctor, too, actually, I guess,
539
00:21:09,944 --> 00:21:11,477
if Tatiana
was a hooker.
Oh, yeah.
540
00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:12,945
Oh, God, gross.
Yeah.
That's not good.
541
00:21:12,947 --> 00:21:14,847
Help. (groans)
542
00:21:14,849 --> 00:21:16,916
MAN (over P.A.):
Well, folks, you heard it.
543
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:19,118
Frank fracked the mountain,
and it looks like
544
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,621
we'll all be out of jobs.
DENNIS: Oh... God!
545
00:21:21,623 --> 00:21:23,823
So, did you even
hire that guy?
546
00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:27,126
You know, Charlie, I have
no idea who that guy is.
547
00:21:27,128 --> 00:21:31,998
Huh. I guess some things really
are different on the mountain.
548
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000
Yeah.
549
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,069
♪ ♪
550
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,174
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
551
00:21:41,176 --> 00:21:43,242
♪ Uh-huh ♪
552
00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:50,616
♪ Whoo! ♪
553
00:22:11,072 --> 00:22:12,572
(fanfare playing)
554
00:22:12,574 --> 00:22:14,140
Brown.
45962
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