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THESE THINGS ARE KIND OF TRICKY.

SHH!

EXCUSE ME...

YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING FOLLOWED?

YES, I SAW YOU DOWNSTAIRS.

OH, NO. I-I DIDN'T MEAN ME.

I MEANT HIM.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S YOUR PURSE!

AH, WAIT...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, YEAH, I AM... YOU?

YEAH, I'M GREAT.

SINCE I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF YOU ACROSS THE ROOM

AND TIME STOPPED.

AND IN THAT MOMENT, I KNEW YOU WERE MY DESTINY.

HOW ABOUT, UH...

"CALL ME ISHMAEL"?

YOU TWO ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!

I'M REALLY SORRY THAT SHE TORE UP

YOUR LIBRARY CARD, ISHMAEL.

NO, SEAN. SEAN?

SEAN McDONALD.

I WISH SHE WOULD'VE TAKEN IT OUT OF THE WALLET FIRST.

[ laughing ]

I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID UP THERE.

I MEAN, MOST GUYS WOULD'VE JUST LOOKED THE OTHER WAY.

IF I'D TIMED THAT LEAP JUST A LITTLE BIT BETTER,

IT WOULD HAVE REALLY IMPRESSED YOU.

I WAS IMPRESSED. REALLY?

YEAH.

WELL, THIS, UH, MACHO STUFF IS KIND OF EXHILARATING.

YOU NOTICE SORT OF A CHARLES BRONSONY GLOW?

OH, I DO, AND IT'S MOST BECOMING.

HAVE YOU HAD LUNCH? LUNCH?

IT'S ABOUT... 6:00!

OH, MY GOD, MY BOSS IS GONNA SHOOT ME!

THE OL' "MY BOSS IS GONNA SHOOT ME" ROUTINE, HUH?

NO.

NO, IT'S NOT.

I WANT YOU TO CALL ME.

I KNOW THIS IS KIND OF FORMAL,

BUT HERE'S MY CARD.

MAYBE I COULD TAKE YOU TO LUNCH OR...

I DON'T KNOW... THE LIBRARY?

OH, A TRAVEL AGENT.

IT IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE BECAUSE, I, UM...

I OWN LUGGAGE.

I'LL CALL.

TOMORROW?

TOMORROW.

I...

YOU WOULDN'T FORGET OR ANYTHING LIKE...

YOU'RE GONNA BUY ME LUNCH, AREN'T YA?

I WON'T FORGET.

[ phone ringing ]

Tina: KENT'S TRAVEL. CAN YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

KENT'S TRAVEL, CAN YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

KENT'S TRAVEL. CAN YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

OH, THANK GOD!

MRS. KENT'S GOT ME TRACKING YOU DOWN EVERYWHERE.

OKAY...

Doris: OH, FINALLY!

HOW'D IT GO?

MMM, OKAY.

THAT OKAY DOESN'T SOUND SO OKAY.

OH, OH, OH, YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY BOY AND GIRL.

DO YOU WANT TO TAKE A GANDER AT THESE

BEFORE I SEND THEM OVER TO STATE?

NO THANKS.

IT'S A VERY IMAGINATIVE APPROACH TO FOREIGN POLICY.

MMM... IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF.

DORIS...

I MET A GUY AT THE LIBRARY.

IS THAT THE WHOLE STORY?

WELL, HE, UH, HE THOUGHT MY PURSE WAS BEING ROBBED, AND HE CAME TO MY RESCUE.

HE EVEN TACKLED DORFMAN.

OH, MY GOD.

WELL, HE DIDN'T TACKLE HIM VERY WELL.

YOU DON'T THINK IT WAS SOME TWIT FROM THE CIA CHECKING UP ON US, DO YOU?

NO. I-I'D KNOW IT IF HE WAS.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS...

IT WAS REALLY VERY SWEET.

WHAT?

THE... THE GUY, UH... WHO TACKLED DORFMAN.

TOMORROW'S TOO LATE.

IMMEDIATELY WOULD BE BETTER.

HOW IMMEDIATE?

I'D SAY DINNER, BUT YOU MAKE ME TOO NERVOUS TO EAT.

OH, ME?

THIS USUALLY DOESN'T HAPPEN TO ME.

YOU ARE SOBEAUTIFUL.

WELL, IT'S JUST MY OPINION.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE WITH IT.

WELL, I'M FLATTERED.

I FLATTER YOU...

I PROTECT YOU...

I THINK SOMETHING'S DEVELOPING HERE.

MARRY ME.

OH, I-I DON'T THINK IT'S FULLY DEVELOPED.

OH, YEAH. I'M RUSHING THINGS A LITTLE TOO MUCH.

ARE... YOU TOO NERVOUS TO HAVE A DRINK?

I'M JUST NERVOUS ENOUGH TO HAVE A DRINK.

WE'LL DO THE MARRIAGE THING SOME OTHER TIME.

WHAT'S YOUR WEDNESDAY LIKE?

Minister: DO YOU SEAN McDONALD TAKE CHRIS NELSON

FOR YOUR LAWFUL WIFE,

TO HAVE AND TO HOLD FROM THIS DAY FORWARD,

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE,

FOR RICHER OR POORER,

IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART?

Sean: I DO.

THEY KNOW EACH OTHER FOR FIVE WEEKS,

AND THEY GET MARRIED.

IT'S INSANE.

HEY, I'M WITH YOU, SIR.

I TOLD SEAN, "WHY DON'T YOU LIVE WITH HER FOR A COUPLE YEARS,

TEST THE WATERS?"

Minister: IF ANYONE HERE

KNOWS OF ANY REASON WHY THESE TWO

SHOULD NOT BE JOINED TOGETHER IN HOLY MATRIMONY,

SPEAK NOW, OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.

UH...

I PRONOUNCE YOU MAN AND WIFE.

YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE.

♪ [ Mendelssohn's Wedding March plays ] ♪

CONGRATULATIONS.

TO NEW BEGINNINGS.

MMM... THERE IT IS.

I'LL TRADE YOU.

HONEYMOON RETIREMENT GIFT,

EUROPE, FIRST-CLASS, TWO WEEKS...

FROM ALL OF US.

DORIS! I... I...

I KNOW, I KNOW. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

YOU'LL MISS ME. MISS THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD.

DORIS, UM...

I HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING TO SEAN, BUT I'D LIKE TO.

Yeah.

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

WE DON'T EXIST.

AS FAR AS SEAN IS CONCERNED,

YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A TRAVEL AGENT.

I KNOW... I KNOW.

AND A VERY GOOD ONE.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

[ sighs ]

ME TOO.

[ chuckling ]

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO KEEP THIS?

IT CAME IN REALHANDY IN MY FIRST MARRIAGE.

NO.

P.A.: AMERICAN AIRLINES VUELO NUMERO 59,

LLEGARA A MADRID DE WASHINGTON D.C.

A LA PUERTA NUMERO DOCE.

AMERICAN AIRLINES FLIGHT NUMBER 59

ARRIVING MADRID FROM WASHINGTON D.C.

AT GATE 12.

[ both sigh ]

WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'VE GOT 8 KILOS OF HEROIN IN HERE?

THE WORST THING I'VE GOT IN HERE IS SOCKS WITH BAD ELASTIC.

[ excited ] OOH...

IT WOULD'VE EVENTUALLY COME OUT.

IT'S NOT A VERY GOOD LIKENESS.

I HAD RECENTLY WORN A HAT.

YOU KNOW...

P.A.: ALL PASSENGERS ON IBERIA AIRLINES...

COME WITH ME, PLEASE.

IS THERE A PROBLEM?

NO PROBLEM. COME WITH ME, PLEASE.

SIT DOWN, MISS.

PASSPORT.

GRACIAS.

GUESS WHO?

HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THINK YOU DISLOCATED MY LIVER.

[ agitated ] ALEX!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

PLEASE DON'T SHOUT, DARLING. I HAD TO DO THAT AWFUL EMBASSY PARTY,

AND I HAVE A TERRIBLE HEADACHE.

I DON'T LIKE YOU BEING HERE. I SMELL A RAT.

DID IT OCCUR TO YOU THAT I MIGHT JUST BE HERE TO CONGRATULATE YOU?

SO YOU KNOW ME... BIG DEAL.

I NEED A SMALL FAVOR.

WAIT A MINUTE...

THIS WHOLE HONEYMOON THING...

IT'S A SET UP.

NOW WE KNOW WHY I'M HERE.

I'M AN IDIOT.

I MUST ADMIT, DARLING, IWOULDN'T HAVE FALLEN FOR IT.

ANYWAY, LAZOS IS BACK,

AND HE TRUSTS ONLY YOU.

LAZOS?!

HE HAS SOMETHING WE WANT, MY DEAR.

JUST GIVE US AN HOUR.

MEET HIM, PAY HIM,

AND PASS THE MERCHANDISE ON TO ME.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I AM RETIRED.

I'M ON MY HONEYMOON.

MAY I SUGGEST YOU LOOK IN YOUR SUITCASE BEFORE YOUR HUSBAND?

WHAT? SINCE YOU WILL BE CHANGING YOUR MIND,

I'VE ARRANGED FOR A MILLION DOLLARS IN PAYOFF MONEY

TO BE SLIPPED INTO YOUR BAG...

RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

WHERE YOU BEEN? WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

IT'S JUST...

THE TICKET.

THE TICKET WAS IN MY MARRIED NAME,

AND THE PASSPORT WAS IN MY MAIDEN NAME,

AND THEY GET SO EASILY CONFUSED...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

ARE YOU KIDDING? HE READ MY ARTICLE ON THE LOU BROTHERS,

"WHERE ARE THEY NOW?" OH, HE LOVES ME,

AS DO ALL THE SPANISH PEOPLE.

THERE.

[ whistles ]

SORRY.

HEY!

[ tires squealing ]

[ brakes squeal ] OH!

BIENVENIDOS.

HA HA!

SURE HOPE HE WORKS HERE. HA HA!

WHERE'S THE LUGGAGE?

BELLHOP TOOK IT IN.

CHRIS... WHAT'S WRONG? ARE THEY GONNA CHECK OUR LUGGAGE AGAIN?

NO, I JUST WANTED TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF MY SUITCASE.

WE'LL DO IT LATER, HUH? LATER.

AFTER WE CHECK IN.

HAVE THE BAGS SENT UP IMMEDIATELY.

YES, OF COURSE.

IS THIS SOME SORT OF LUGGAGE FETISH THING THAT I OUGHTA KNOW ABOUT?

HE WILL SHOW YOU TO YOUR ROOM.

AND YOUR BAGS ARE ON THEIR WAY UP.

HAVE YOU FOUND MY LUGGAGE YET, OR DO YOU HAVE SOME NEW EXCUSE?!

Chris: NO, NO, NO. POR FAVOR, POR FAVOR.

NO, D-DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD AGAIN, PLEASE.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE OF THAT MUSIC.

LOOK, JUST LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER.

EL JEFE.

I-I HAVE BEEN WAITING...

I-I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR FIVE MINUTES.

I-I DON'T WANT TO WAIT ANYMORE, I JUST WANT MY LUGGAGE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA SLIP INTO A LITTLE NOTHIN'

AND JOIN ME IN THE BATHROOM.

WITH THE BAGS NOT HERE, THERE IS NOTHING TO SLIP INTO.

[ knocking ]

THAT COULD BE THEM.

THAT COULD BE THEM. HOLD ON.

Sean: FINE...

YOU CAN JUST PUT 'EM DOWN, UH...

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM.

UH... I DON'T HAVE ANY...

I'LL CATCH YA LATER.

I PROMISE.

THEY'RE HERE!

AH! THEY'RE HERE! THEY'RE HERE.

THEY'RE HERE...

CAN WE START OUR HONEYMOON NOW?

UM, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK

AND WE CAN PRACTICE.

HEY, THE WATER'S GETTIN' COLD,

AND THE CHAMPAGNE'S GETTIN' WARM.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

WHAT?

CHRIS?

CHRIS?

CHRIS?

OH, SHIT.

EXCUSE ME, UH... COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?

UH, POR FAVOR,

LIMPIAR EL CUARTO...

CATCH YOU LATER. I PROMISE.

OW!

WELL, DEAR CHRIS,

I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BACKED ME INTO A CORNER.

NOW I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GET TOUGH WITH YOU.

NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME...

THE MONEY IS IN A SMALL TAN SUITCASE.

YOU WANT IT? YOU HELP ME FIND IT.

HOW COULD YOU PUT IT IN MY BAG? HOW COULD YOU JUST ASSUME THAT I WOULD DO THIS?

I WANT MY HONEYMOON, ALEX.

OH, THIS IS YOUR PROBLEM!

THIS IS OUR PROBLEM.

TAKE A LOOK AT THESE.

VERY NICE.

TAKE A GOODLOOK. CAN YOU TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

NO, I CAN'T.

THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT! NO ONE CAN.

LAZOS HAS FINALLY MADE

THE SET OF PERFECT COUNTERFEIT PLATES.

HOW PERFECT?

PERFECT PERFECT.

"RUIN THE ECONOMY" PERFECT.

ALL I HAVETO DO IS GET SEAN AND GO HOME.

DO THAT AND TWO THINGS WILL HAPPEN...

ONE, I TELL STATE THAT YOU STOLETHE MONEY.

AND TWO, SEAN FINDS OUT ABOUT YOUR SECRET PAST.

OH!

WHOA!

I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THAT PERSONALLY.

PLEASE DO.

OH! SEAN!

[ chuckling ]

OH, HONEY...

SO... DID, UM... DID HE FIND YOUR BAGS?

WHO?

THAT HOTEL GUY WITH THE BELA LUGOSI HAIR.

YOU KNOW, THE, UH...

THE ONE WITH HIS TONGUE IN YOUR EAR?

[ chuckling ]

THAT WAS NO HOTEL GUY, THAT WAS...

ALEX.

OH... GOOD.

ALEX.

YOU KNOW, HONEY, ALEX DESBAINS...

WE USED TO WORK TOGETHER, AND WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACH OTHER FOR AWHILE,

AND WE WERE JUST CATCHING UP TO SEE HOW WE WERE.

AND HOW WERE WE?

ONE OF US WAS HANGING NAKED FROM A STAIRWAY.

YOU THINK HE WAS IMPRESSED?

OH, I THINK EVERYONE IN THE LOBBY WAS IMPRESSED.

BUT ESPECIALLY ME.

♪ [ Flamenco music playing ]

♪ PASA DICIENDO AQUI DEJO TU ALMA♪

♪ PASA DICIENDO AQUI DEJO TU ALMA...♪

EXCUSE ME, BUT, UH,

YOU'RE REALLY STARTING TO IRRITATE ME.

SACK, OPEN THIS.

GUESS WHO? AH!

SEAN, MEET ALEX DESBAINS.

AH, YES. SEAN... DRESSED.

VERY NICE.

I'M SURE CHRIS HAS TOLD YOU ALLABOUT ME.

ENOUGH.

CHRIS, THAT FAVOR I ASKED YOU FOR

SIMPLY MUST BE TAKEN CARE OF TOMORROW, DARLING.

FAVOR? JUST A TOUR MIX-UP,

THE KIND OF THING CHRIS IS SO GOOD AT STRAIGHTENING OUT.

CHRIS IS ON HER HONEYMOON. CHRIS IS RETIRED.

SURELY YOU CAN SPARE HER FOR A FEW HOURS TO HELP US OUT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BAD GUY.

IF IT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO DO, IT'S OKAY WITH ME.

THEN IT'S SETTLED.

PARA FINALIZAR,

Y PARA QUE TODOS USTEDES PUEDAN BAILAR,

VAMOS A INTERPRETAR UN TANGO.

GOD, HOW I LOVE THE TANGO.

IT'S SUCH A PROVOCATIVE, SEXUALLY STIMULATING DANCE.

VIRTUALLY PULSATING WITH PASSION.

DO YOU MIND IF I DANCE WITH YOUR WIFE?

WOULD YOU RELAX?

OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE THIS DISCUSSION IN FRONT OF SEAN?

♪ VENTE CORMINGO Y SERAS♪

♪ CAPITANA DE MI BARCO♪

♪ YO ME IRE SIN RUMBO FIJO...♪

TOMORROW WE'LL GO TO THE FIESTA,

AND WE'LL FIND LAZOS THERE.

[ air dryer hums ]

WAIT A MINUTE...

I'M A CABALLERO, RIGHT?

SO...

I'M SORRY, YOU GUYS ARE IN THE WRONG ROOM.

ESPERE UN MOMENTO.

YO SOY UN CABALLERO, VERDAD?

CREO QUE SE HA EQUIVOCADO DE BAÑO.

HA HA!

DEJA DE HACER EL IDIOTA,

TENEMOS MUCHO DE QUE HABLAR.

DON'T PLAY IDIOT. WE HAVE MUCHTO DISCUSS.

UH... UH...

I'M NOT PLAYIN'.

NO ESTOY JUGANDO.

ERES MUY ATRACTIVO, MEJOR,

ESTO NO TIENE POR QUE SER UNA RELACION

EXCLUSIVAMENTE DE NEGOCIOS.

I FIND YOU VERY ATTRACTIVE.

MM, BETTER...

IT NEED NOT TO BE JUST A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP.

WELL, UH, I THINK IT SHOULD BECAUSE...

BECAUSE MY WIFE FINDS ME ATTRACTIVE, TOO.

CREO QUE SI, PORQUE MI MUJER TAMBIEN ME ENCUENTRA MUY ATTRACTIVO.

BONITO, DEJA DE DECIR TONTERIAS, MM?

SWEETHEART, STOP THE CHARADE.

TU Y YO SOMOS PROFESIONALES Y LOS DOS QUEREMOS

ESAS PLANCHAS.

WE ARE BOTH PROFESSIONAL, AND WE BOTH WANT THE PLATES.

PLATES...

OH, THE PLATES!

OH...

UH... I TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP 'EM?

NICE TALKIN' WITH YOU, BUT I GOTTA GO NOW.

TE VAMOS A DEJAR SIN NADA, DESGRACIADO!

WE WILL LEAVE YOU NOTHING, YOU WRETCHED... PIG!

CERDO!

CAREFUL IN THERE, PAL, IT'S DANGEROUS.

[ door closes ]

[ gunshot ]

[ screams ]

SORRY. MMM.

[ mumbling ]

WHAT?

HE SAID TO HURRY BECAUSE HE'S IN GREAT PAIN.

BECAUSE I'M A FAT, BRAINLESS PUTZ.

PLEASE, LANCE...

PLEASE HURRY...

PLEASE?

[ door slams ]

AH...

DO I STAND AROUND GAPING AT YOU?

I DON'T THINK SO.

[ scoffs ]

SEAN, WHAT IS IT?

WHAT'S WHAT?

DO YOU HATE YOUR TIE?

ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOUR TIE?

I'M DISCIPLINING IT.

IT'S ALEX, RIGHT?

MAYBE IT'S ANOTHER CULTURE I HAVE TO GET USED TO.

TWO WOMEN DO A WRESTLEMANIA NUMBER ON ME

IN THE MEN'S ROOM,

AND SOME CLOWN WITH A CASE OF 10-40 OIL IN HIS HAIR

TRIES TO SEDUCE MY WIFE.

ALEX SEDUCE ME?

COME ON, SEAN, YOU ACTUALLY SOUND JEALOUS.

MAYBE IT'S 'CAUSE I...

ACTUALLY AM JEALOUS.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE JEALOUS OF ANYONE,

ESPECIALLY NOT ALEX.

YEAH, WELL...

HOW ABOUT THE WAY HE WAS DANCING WITH YOU?

HE'S NOT A VERY GOOD DANCER.

WHAT ABOUT THAT FAVOR TOMORROW?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID, "GO AHEAD, DO THE FAVOR."

IT WAS JET LAG TALKING.

HONEY, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT, ESPECIALLY NOT ABOUT ALEX.

[ Chris giggling ]

[ Chris and Sean kissing ]

[ snoring ]

[ honking ]

[ exhales deeply ]

SORRY. MY HEAD MUST'VE SLIPPED.

YOU KNOW, MY ELBOW STILL HURTS.

YOUR ELBOW HURTS?

YEAH.

HOW DO YOU THINK MY ENTIRE HEAD FEELS, YOU MORON?

HUH?

[ Chris moaning ]

Chris: HELP ME MOVE BACK. YEAH. OH!

[ gasps ]

YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING...

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO WITH YOU THIS MORNING.

HONEY, IT'S BUSINESS AND IT'S BORING.

I-I LEFT A LIST OF SOME MUSEUMS

THAT YOU MIGHT WANNA SEE AROUND HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MUSEUMS ALONE.

HEY, LADY, I'M HERE MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS!

I WON'T KNOW WHEN TO BE IMPRESSED.

JUST OHH! AND AHH! AT EVERY OTHER PAINTING.

WHAT?

WHAT?

[ muffled yelling ]

YOUR SHOE.

AAH!

MY SHOES...

AAH!

HA HA!

CHRIS?

YOUR HAIRDRYER JUST TRIED TO KILL ME.

I'M SORRY.

WHO SENT YOU?

THAT'S A SECRET I'LL TAKE TO MY GRAVE.

MARLIS.

AAH!

WHO'S MARLIS?

YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS THIS MORNING, MY DEAR.

THERE'S A DEFINITE ROBUST, SEXUAL BLUSH TO YOUR CHEEKS.

OH, YES, MARLIS... HE'S A LOW LIFE,

PROBABLY HE WANTS TO GIVE THE PLATES TO A FOREIGN DICTATOR.

LAZOS WILL WANT TO SEE THE MONEY.

NOT TO WORRY.

YOU'LL SHOW HIM THIS.

LAZOS TRUSTS YOU. HE'LL THINK THE MONEY'S IN HERE.

AND WHEN LAZOS FINDS OUT THERE'S NOTHING BUT PAPER IN HERE, THEN WHAT?

THEN WE TRY REASON, AND ASK FOR TIME.

BUT IF WE DON'T MAKE THIS APPOINTMENT, LAZOS MAY TRY TO DO BUSINESS WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

GREAT PLAN.

I NEVER SAID IT WAS A PLAN, DARLING.

[ engine starts ]

[ tires squealing ]

UH, FOLLOW THAT CAR.

THAT CAR... FOLLOW IT?

UH... COMOMIAMI VICE?

AH, Sí!

WHOA!

[ tires squealing ]

[ distant guitar playing ]

[ distant voices murmuring ]

[ people chattering ]

[ guitar playing loudly ]

MUY BUENA ESTA, ESTA P'HACER PATATAS,

PATATAS Y BACALAO, P'A LLEVAR BARATA.

SOLO QUINIENTAS, QUINIENTAS Y VA.

NA' MAS QUE QUINIENTAS.

NO, I DON'T WANNA COOK ANY QUINIENTOS.

QUINIENTOS, NADA MAS.

NO, THANK YOU.

SEAN?

SEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOME OF THOSE MINI-FORK THINGS

YOU HOLD CORN WITH...

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

I DON'T TRUST A GUY WITH A VARNISHED HEAD.

YOU STAY HERE, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,

AND THEN I'M GONNA TELL YOU EVERYTHING.

[ bell tolls ]

[ bell tolling ]

BOO! AH!

OH! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!

BUT YOU ARE YOUNG AND STRONG... YOU CAN TAKE IT!

[ hand buzzer ]

AAH!

YOU NEVER LEARN, DO YOU?

YOU FELL FOR THAT ONE SEVEN YEARS AGO.

I KEEP THINKING THAT YOU'LL GROW UP.

WHATEVER FOR? I CAN'T AVOID GROWING OLD,

BUT I CAN RESIST FEROCIOUSLY GROWING UP.

MY DEAR, LAZOS, YOU...

I SAW YOU WITH A YOUNG MAN OUT THERE JUST NOW.

OH, THAT'S SEAN, HE'S MY HUSBAND.

HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS. I'M RETIRED. IT'S YOU WHO GOT ME INTO THIS!

YES, YOU.

B-B-BUT W-W-WHO COULD I TRUST?

YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I DEALT WITH YOUR GOVERNMENT,

THEY THREW ME INTO JAIL!

OF COURSE, THERE WAS A DELICIOUS IRONY IN ALL THIS,

BECAUSE DURING MY HOLIDAY,

GAVE ME AMPLE TIME TO PERFECT MY MASTERPIECE!

THERE'S A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE CHASING AFTER THESE PLATES.

I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT THEY'LL NEVER FIND THEM.

THEY'RE VERY WELL HIDDEN.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PRINT UP A COUPLE BILLION FOR YOURSELF?

WHERE WOULD BE THE FUN IN THAT?

I WOULD NEVER GET TO SEE YOUR PEOPLE SQUIRM

AT THE THOUGHT THAT I WAS SELLING THEM TO THEIR ENEMIES

FOR 20 TIMES THE PRICE!

AND I COULD HAVE DONE, YOU KNOW, OH, YES, I COULD.

BUT THEN THIS WAS NEVER ABOUT MONEY, WAS IT?

I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT, BECAUSE WE HAVE A SLIGHT PROBLEM.

[ motorcycle approaching ]

LAZOS!

RUN! RUN!

GOT A LIGHT, PAL?

I'D SAY THINGS HAVE GONE A TAD AWRY, YOU AND SEAN...

OUGHT TO GET TO LA PARRA.

WAIT FOR ME THERE, I'LL GET YOU OUT.

IF ANYTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO SEAN...

YOU'LL BE SAFE, OKAY? I'LL CALL MRS. KENT AND TELL HER YOU'RE OUT OF IT.

NO, THANKS, I ALREADY HAVE THE WHOLE SET.

BASILICA... DOCE... TWELVE...

WELL, IS... IS THAT DOLLARS OR PESETAS?

UH...

OKAY, OKAY. FINE. SOLD!

BASILICA...

B-BASILICA...

D-DOCE!

[ hand buzzer ]

[ buzzer fades ]

[ crowd yelling ]

GET ON!

SOMETHING GOING ON I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?

I'M GONNA GET US OUT OF THIS!

OUT OF WHAT? WHAT ARE WE IN?

YOU'RE GONNA HATE ME, AND I WOULDN'T BLAME YOU!

[ tires squealing ]

SLOW DOWN!

WE'RE NOT GONNA FIT... OH, MY GOD!

- BUT IT'S NOT MY FAULT! - WHAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT? LET'S START WITH THAT.

HIM!

HUH? HUH?

DON'T WE KNOW HIM?

HOW'D SHE DO THAT?

OH, SHE'S TERRIFIC!

WHOOOOAAA!

ARE YOU OKAY?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU! MY NUTS ARE CLOGGING MY EARS!

HUH?

Sean: OH, SHIT!

THIS IS A HELL OF A HONEYMOON PACKAGE

YOUR FRIENDS FIXED US UP WITH.

I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO STEAL ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE.

WHEN THEY SAID, "TILL DEATH TO US PART,"

I DIDN'T THINK THEY MEANT THE FIRST WEEK.

SEAN, I'M GONNA EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

BUT RIGHT NOW WE'VE GOTTA KEEP MOVING.

NO! I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I FIND OUT

WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON HERE!

OKAY.

THE TRAVEL AGENCY... IT ISN'T JUST A TRAVEL AGENCY,

AND I WASN'T... JUST A TRAVEL AGENT.

YEAH?

WE'RE RUN BY THE STATE DEPARTMENT.

WE DO DIFFERENT ERRANDS FOR DIFFERENT GOVERNMENT AGENCIES,

SORT OF LIKE A... LIKE A

LIKE A COURIER SERVICE.

A COURIER SERVICE?

YEAH. WE DEAL WITH BLACKMAILERS AND RANSOM DEMANDS.

WE DO TRICKY STUFF THEY DON'T WANT TO BE CAUGHT DOING.

THIS IS A... A LITTLE TIDBIT OF PERSONAL INFO

THAT YOU MIGHT'VE SHARED WITH ME.

SEAN, I WANTED TO TELL YOU.

I COULDN'T.

MY JOB WAS CLASSIFIED, NOBODY KNEW... NOT MY PARENTS,

MY FRIENDS... YOUR HUSBAND.

MY HUSBAND...

WHAT IS THAT?

AAH!

OOH...

[ jacket sleeve rips ]

HEY, SORRY ABOUT THE JACKET.

[ ripping ]

WHOA!

SORRY ABOUT THE SHIRT.

COME ON, GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

[ mumbling ]

WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE SAID TO LEAVE ME, I'M WORTHLESS. C'MON.

AAH!

[ crashes on the ground ]

IS THIS ONE OF THOSE EVIL TWIN DEALS?

HAVE YOU GOT SOME... SOME DUNGEON IN WASHINGTON

WHERE CHRIS IS TIED UP?

THIS IS NO EVIL TWIN DEAL.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE WE'RE HEADING, DO YOU?

YES, I DO, WE'RE GOING TO LA PARRA.

TO A SAFE HOUSE.

DESBAINS WILL MEET US. HE GOT US INTO THIS...

HE'S GONNA GET US OUT OF IT.

WE'RE COUNTING ON HIM?

WE'RE DEAD MEAT!

Sean: I'D LIKE TO SUGGEST WE FIND AN ALTERNATE ROUTE.

OVER THERE.

Lance: I CAN NAIL A BUTTERFLY AT A HUNDRED PACES!

YEAH. I BET HE'D ENJOY IT, TOO.

PLEASE! I WANT NO HOSTILITIES HERE,

AND NO HARM'S GONNA COME TO YOU.

LAZOS GAVE YOU SOMETHING AT THE RASTRO.

I SIMPLY WANT IT.

HE DIDN'T GIVE ME ANYTHING.

I'M NOT TALKIN' TO YOU, LADY, I'M TALKING TO HIM!

THIS? YOU'RE SHOOTING AT US FOR THIS?

I'M SHOOTING AT THEM FOR THAT?

WAIT A MINUTE...

[ panting ]

IT'S A CLUE TO WHERE LAZOS HID A SET OF PERFECT COUNTERFEIT PLATES.

OH, PERFECT COUNTERFEIT PLATES.

EXCUSE ME!

BUT I BELIEVE I'M THE ONE CONDUCTING THIS MEETING HERE!

YOU EITHER GIVE ME THAT THING,

OR I'M GONNA HAVE MY VICE PRESIDENT OF PUBLIC RELATIONS HERE

PLANT SOME LEAD IN YOUR HEAD!

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, PAL. DO YOU WANT IT?

[ creaking and rumbling ]

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M GOIN' BACK TO THE STATES.

SEAN!

Sean: ♪ IF YOU GO DOWN IN THE WOODS TODAY ♪

♪ YOU'D BETTER NOT GO ALONE

♪ IF YOU GO OUT IN THE WOODS TODAY ♪

♪ BE SURE TO GO IN DISGUISE

♪ IF YOU GO OUT IN THE WOODS TODAY ♪

♪ YOU'RE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE

WE'RE TOTALLY FUCKING LOST.

♪ CAUSE EVERY DAY'S THE DAY THE TEDDY BEAR...

AAH!

SEAN?

OH, GOD, SEAN, ARE YOU OKAY?

OH, I'M HAVING A BLAST! NOW, GET ME DOWN.

SEAN, I'M GOING TO LET YOU DOWN,

BUT FIRST OF ALL, I'VE SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.

YOU'VE GOT ABOUT 90 SECONDS TILL MY HEAD EXPLODES.

I DON'T THINK YOU'RE BEING FAIR TO ME...

OR TO US.

WHAT? HOW?

HOW AM I NOT BEING FAIR?

I SUPPOSE... I SUPPOSE YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SECRETS,

ANY SKELETONS IN YOUR CLOSET?

YEAH, BUT THE HENSHAW SISTERS AREN'T GONNA KILL US!

SEAN...

SEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT I WANTED TO LIE TO YOU?

DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HARM YOU?

I QUIT MY JOB SO WE COULD LEAD A NORMAL LIFE.

SO HOW'D WE END UP LIKE THIS?

SHE SAID IF I DIDN'T DO THIS ONE LAST FAVOR,

I COULD END UP A WIDOW.

I RESPECT YOUR DECISION.

SO YOU BELIEVE...

THAT I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU?

THIS IS A LOT TO DIGEST. YES, BUT...

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE HANGING UPSIDE DOWN LIKE THIS.

BUT YOU BELIEVE ME?

YEAH, YEAH, I BELIEVE YOU.

EW!

[ spits ]

[ twig snaps ]

BAMBI? THUMPER, IS THAT YOU?

Marlis: HEY! HEY!

WH-WHICH WAY'S MY MERCEDES?

UH, THAT WAY, I THINK.

I THINK IT'S OVER THERE. [ gunshot ]

THESE THINGS ARE VERY TRICKY.

IT, UH...

YOU INCREDIBLE DICK!

[ cocks gun ]

[ gunshot ] DANCE!

[ gunshot ] DANCE!

SOFT SHOE. [ gunshot ]

DANCE! [ gun clicking ]

[ gunshot ] DANCE!

[ repeated gunshots ]

CALL ME MR. CURIOSITY,

BUT HOW DID YOU EVER WIND UP IN A JOB LIKE THIS?

I WAS RECRUITED.

[ chuckling ] FROM WHAT? YOUR COLLEGE SPY TEAM?

NO, I WAS A TRANSLATOR AT STATE.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN AND...

GENERALLY SAFE.

AND YOU MEET SUCH A HIGH CALIBER OF PEOPLE.

WELL, I MET YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

NOTHING.

OH, NO, YOU MEANT SOMETHING BY THAT.

WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU WERE WORKING THAT DAY AT THE LIBRARY.

YES.

THAT GUY WASN'T TRYING TO STEAL YOUR PURSE!

NO...

OH, MAN!

I FEEL LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT!

YOU WERE PASSING HIM SOMETHING, AND I SCREWED IT UP!

I SCREWED UP SOME DEAL.

SEAN, NO. YOU WEREN'T AN IDIOT,

AND... AND YOU REALLY DIDN'T SCREW ANYTHING UP.

BECAUSE I TACKLED HIS SHOE! I SCREWED UP SCREWING UP.

THE POSSIBILITIES FOR SELF-RECRIMINATION ON THIS ARE ENDLESS.

- I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL GESTURE... - STAY OVER ON YOUR SIDE OF THE FIRE.

THIS IS A LOW SELF-ESTEEM MOMENT.

MAYBE IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA IF WE DIDN'T TALK FOR A WHILE, UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, LIKE,

"LOOK OUT, HE'S GOT A GUN!"

I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY.

SEAN, I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY I GOT YOU INTO ALL OF THIS.

I... I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU OR DECEIVE YOU.

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS...

NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, I LOVE YOU.

HEY. HEY.

FEELING BETTER?

MUCH BETTER.

BUT I THINK MAYBE I'M STILL ASLEEP.

HMM?

I'M HALLUCINATING NORMAN BATES' HOUSE.

[ Chris breathing heavily ]

DO WE... REALLY WANT TO MEET THE PEOPLE WHO LIVE HERE?

AS OPPOSED TO SPENDING THE REST OF OUR LIVES

WITH TARANTULAS AND ORANGUTANS?

I DON'T THINK WE HAVE TO DWELL ON THAT.

DO YOU RECOGNIZE THAT CAR?

BECAUSE I THINK I RECOGNIZE THAT CAR.

I'M SURE I RECOGNIZE THAT CAR.

WELL... THIS IS A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

COVER 'EM.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GONNA ASK YA...

WHAT'S THIS THING MEAN?!

I TOLD YOU WE DON'T KNOW.

ASK LAZOS.

[ mumbles ]

WHAT?

HE SAID, "LAZOS IS DEAD."

[ mumbles ]

AND IN A MINUTE, YOU'LL BE ABLE TO ASK HIM YOURSELF.

MOVE, LANCE.

I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOU A MOMENT AS IF...

WELL...

AS IF YOU WERE MY... RECENTLY DEPARTED WIFE.

YOU BITCH!

HEY! HEY!

Sean: THIS CHARADE HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH!

IF THERE'S ANY BUSINESS THAT'S GONNA BE DONE, IT'LL BE DONE WITH ME.

SEAN...

SORRY, BABE... THE AGENCY DIDN'T WANT ME TO TELL YOU.

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.

WE'VE HAD OUR EYE ON YOU FOR SOME TIME, MARLIS.

WE KNEW WE'D HOOK YOU IF WE PUT OUT THE RIGHT BAIT. OH, FORGET HER. SHE'S A FRONT, A DIVERSION.

WHO DO YOU THINK SET UP THE GUTZMAN HIT IN GENEVA?

OR THE BLOFELD STING IN PRAGUE?

WHO DO YOU THINK PUT WO-FAT TO SLEEP IN HONG KONG?

YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM, PAL. SO LET THE FILLY GO, AND WE'LL TALK DEAL.

- DEAL? - FILLY?

THAT'S RIGHT, DEAL.

THE ANSWER TO THAT PUZZLE IS RIGHT HERE.

IF YOU WANT IT...

YOU'LL HAVE TO GET IT OUTTA ME.

NOW, THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT.

BUT BACK TO BUSINESS, SWEETHEART.

AAH!

BASILICA DOCE...

UH, TWELVE. THAT'S ALL HE SAID. IT WAS JUST, UH, THE GLOBE AND BASILICA DOCE.

THERE WAS NOTHING MORE. THAT'S IT, IT WAS ZILCH.

[ mumbling ]

HE SAID, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THIS TIME HE BELIEVES YOU...

AND TO KILL YOU.

SEAN, I'M SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

AND I LOVE YOU.

COME ON, STOP THAT! COME ON!

ALL RIGHT. RELEASE THE BRAKE.

GUN THE ENGINE.

[ engine revs ]

NOW PUT THE CAR IN DRIVE.

[ tires squealing ]

[ honks ]

ARE THEY DEAD?

YEAH, THEY'RE DEAD, I, UH...

I PUSHED THEM OFF A CLIFF.

Marlis: GOOD.

WHAT... WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

LONG?

I HAD TO WALK BACK.

YOU HAD TO WALK BACK?

I'M ALMOST AFRAID TO ASK YOU THIS...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE, UH...

ALMOST AFRAID TO ASK ME ANYTHING.

W-WHERE'S MY CAR?

YOUR CAR?

MY CAR.

THEY WERE IN IT.

MY MERCEDES?

YEAH... YOUR MERCEDES.

Marlis: MM-HMM.

[ glass shatters ]

WE'RE ALMOST HOME.

AS LONG AS WE MAKE IT BACK FOR THE WORLD SERIES,

NO HARM DONE.

[ chuckling ]

UH, HONEY, WHEN IS THE WORLD SERIES?

NOT UNTIL TOMORROW.

OH, NO PROBLEM.

I NEED A BATH.

[ screams]

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE SHREDDED WHEAT!

YOU CAN CARRY THAT LOOK OFF.

REALLY?

SO NOW WHAT?

WE WAIT FOR DESBAINS TO CONTACT US.

YOU REALLY THINK HE'S GONNA SHOW UP?

OH, HE'LL SHOW UP.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, BUT...

I THINK I'M GONNA BE GLAD TO SEE HIM.

AAH!

HONEY, I TOLD YOU, YOUR HAIR DOESN'T LOOK THAT BAD.

OH, GREAT, HE'S DEAD.

PLEASE TELL ME THE FALL KILLED HIM.

HE'S BEEN SHOT.

[ knocking]

ROOM SERVICE!

I'M REALLY GONNA BE ABLE TO EAT.

IN THE CLOSET. HELP ME!

DIN-DIN.

YOU CAN JUST LEAVE IT AND GO, THANK YOU.

Chris: OH!

WE PROBABLY WON'T EVEN BE USING A FORK.

[ slams chair down ]

SIT. PLEASE...

I'M... I'M REALLY NOT VERY...

THE GUY'S ANGLING FOR A HELL OF A TIP.

ROMANTIC, ISN'T IT?

WHERE IS IT, MR. McDONALD?

I KNOW I'M GONNA REGRET ASKING THIS,

BUT WHERE'S WHAT?

AH...!

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF CRACK IS THAT?

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY HAIR?

NO!

IT'S PERFECT. IT'S GREAT.

LAZOS GAVE YOU SOMETHING, I WANT IT.

THE THING?

OH, HONEY, YOU REMEMBER THE THING

THE GUY GAVE ME IN THE... PLACE.

THE THING! OH, THE THING.

THE THING... I PUT IT IN MY PURSE.

BUT I TOOK IT BACK FROM YOU. I PUT IT IN THE CAR.

UNDER THE SEAT. YOU BETTER SHOW ME WHERE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SIT DOWN NOW!

NOW, ONE OF YOU BETTER SHOW ME, BECAUSE I CAN GET VERY UGLY.

BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE ALREADY THERE.

[ gunshot ]

MAYBE IF I BOUGHT ONE FOR HIM.

[ gunshot ] AH!

THINK WE LOST HIM?

[ gunshot ]

DROP!

HOLY SHIT!

DORIS?

WELL!

EVERYBODY IN ONE PIECE?

I DON'T KNOW.

LET ME CHECK.

WHO WAS THAT MAN?

OUR WAITER.

DORIS...

IF YOU HADN'T JUST SAVED OUR LIVES,

I'D STRANGLE YOU.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL GREAT AFTER A HOT BATH

AND A GOOD SLEEP.

A BATH.

GOOD SLEEP...

IT'S SOME BUSINESS, HUH?

PEOPLE GETTIN' KILLED OVER SOME SHAKY, FLAKY THING

YOU CAN BUY ANYWHERE.

WHAT?

WHAT?

YOU KNOW, THE, UH, THE GLASS GLOBE SNOWY THING THAT... THAT LAZLOS GAVE US.

WE SAW 50 OF THEM IN A STORE WINDOW BACK THERE.

PEDRAZA!

THE BASILICA AT PEDRAZA!

HERE, HONEY.

BLESS YOU.

YOU'RE FEELING BETTER?

TONS. TONS BETTER. WHERE IS THIS BOAT?

ANY SECOND NOW.

A 20-MINUTE RIDE TO IBIZA, YOU'RE ON THE PLANE.

YOU'LL BE HOME IN TIME FOR BRUNCH.

BUT THEN, AGAIN, IBIZA IS SUCH A LOVELY ISLAND.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO STAY THERE AWHILE AND...

I GUESS NOT.

OH, I'M SO SORRY ALL THIS HAPPENED.

HA HA! SO AM I.

CHRIS...

NOW, DON'T GET UPSET BUT...

I WANT YOU TO THINK VERY CAREFULLY...

DO YOU THINK THAT SEAN IS HOLDING ANYTHING BACK FROM US?

MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S ANGRY, OR HURT, OR...

OR WHAT?!

DORIS, JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!

I'M SORRY. I... I JUST KEEP HOPING FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

BASILICA DOCE, TWELVE... IT'S SO VAGUE.

AND THEBASILICA IS SOBIG.

IT'LL TAKE US FOREVER TO FIND THOSE PLATES.

DORIS...

I COULDN'T CARE LESS.

[ boat approaching ]

GOOD NEWS...

YOUR RIDE'S HERE.

THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE BLANKS IN IT.

YOU... YOU AND HIM?

DORIS, YOU... YOU COULDN'T, YOU WOULDN'T!

FUNNY, ALEX THOUGHT THAT, TOO.

IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D ALLOW A QUICK DEATH.

BUT YOU ANGERED MR. PITT,

SO HE HAS A SPECIAL PAIN PLAN FOR YOU.

HE HAS A PAIN PLAN?

WHY?

TEN, TWENTY, THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS!

THE PLATES ARE PERFECT. NO TELLING HOW HIGH THE BIDDING WILL GO.

LOOK, NOW YOU'VE GOT THE PLATES, SO WE'LL JUST WALK HOME.

I'M SORRY, YOU'RE LOOSE ENDS.

I REALLY DIDN'T WANT IT TO END LIKE THIS.

NO HARD FEELINGS, CHRIS.

PLENTY OF THEM.

Sean: SO, I GUESS THIS IS THE END OF YOUR PAIN PLAN.

Pitt: BINGO!

AAAGGH!

I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PISSED ME OFF!

[ gasps for air ]

[ gasping ]

Lance: COME ON, WE'RE NEVER GONNA FIND THE PLATES HERE!

IT'S TOO BIG. IT'S TOO DARK.

IT'S TOO WET!

EXCUSE ME.

WHEN YOU GUYS ARE FINISHED WITH YOUR BITCHIN',

WE'RE GONNA SEARCH EVERY SQUARE INCH

OF THIS BIG, DARK, COLD, WET PLACE

UNTIL WE FIND WHAT 12 THIS KEY OPENS!

I'M GOING THAT WAY. YOU GUYS GO THAT WAY.

EVERYBODY'S HAD THEIR CHANCE TO KILL US.

NOW WHAT?

I GOTTA MAKE SOME CALLS...

STATE DEPARTMENT, LOCAL AUTHORITIES...

TELL THEM WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON.

IT'S NOT OUR PROBLEM ANYMORE.

HA HA! WE CAN GO HOME.

[ sighs in relief ]

I DON'T WANNA GO HOME.

WHAT?

IT MAY SOUND KIND OF SILLY, BUT...

BACK THERE AT THE LIBRARY, I KINDA...

I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR HERO, BUT I WASN'T.

I NEED REDEMPTION.

SEAN!

NO, I... IF YOUR WORK IS IMPORTANT TO YOU,

THEN IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, TOO.

I WANNA DO THIS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DO WHAT?

SOMETHING THAT'S GOOD AND RIGHT,

AND NOT TOO DAMN SELFISH.

HELL, WE'RE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

WHY NOT FINISH THE JOB?

LET'S GET TO THOSE PLATES BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES!

SEAN, THOSE PEOPLE ARE DANGEROUS!

THEY TRIED TO KILL US!

SURE, BUT, HEY, I GOTTA PUNCH SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW!

OH, I'M FEELING TOO GOOD ABOUT YOU.

SEAN...

LISTEN TO ME, YOU CAN'T...

OKAY, SEÑOR.

[ laughing and voices ]

Sack: YOU INCREDIBLE DOG!

DANCE! DANCE!

LANCE, LOOK AT THIS ONE.

THIS IS FUNNY. WAIT, HERE GOES.

THIS YOU'RE GONNA LOVE.

[ mimicking Marlis ]:

WHERE'S MY CAR?

BOY, MY NECK HURTS.

[ laughing ]

YOU'RE A FAT, BRAINLESS PUTZ.

MY MERCEDES! MY NEW MERCEDES!

YOU REMIND ME OF MY NEWLY D-DEARLY DEPARTED WIFE.

AH, AH, I'M GONNA...

UH-OH...

GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND FIND OUT WHAT THIS THING FITS.

[ children's choir singing ]

♪ ALELUYA

♪ ALELUYA

♪ ALELUYA

[ organ music]

[ children singing ]

[ bench creaks ]

[ body thuds ]

[ woman screams ]

WHAT NOW?

WE SPREAD OUT.

LOOK FOR ANYTHING WITH A 12 ON IT.

[ children continue singing ]

OH, GOOD MORNING, MONK.

WHOA, BABY!

HEY!

THAT'S MY RETINAS, YOU MORON!

CAREFUL.

[ more softly ] CAREFUL.

THAT WAS FUN.

THERE'S CERTAIN EDUCATIONAL ADVANTAGES TO GROWING UP IN NEW YORK.

[ chuckling ]

OH, YEAH.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM. THIS IS IT.

THIS IS IT? THIS IS IT.

THIS IS IT.

WHERE'S THE VALISE?

GET THE VALISE.

YEAH... YEAH.

- CLOSE IT. - OKAY.

[ gun cocks ] STOP RIGHT THERE, GENTLEMEN!

GIVE IT TO ME.

EXCUSE ME, MISS, BUT IS THIS THING LOADED?

IT'S A WALTHER PPK. IT'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF.

IN THAT CASE, YOU'RE POINTING IT AT THE WRONG GUY,

'CAUSE IT BELONGS TO HIM.

HAND IT OVER, SLIM.

COME ON!

I THOUGHT YOU KILLED THEM!

I THOUGHT WEKILLED THEM.

HERE! HERE!

HERE! HERE!

HERE! HERE!

HERE!

Chris: HERE!

HERE.

[ whistling ]

I'LL TAKE THAT!

THANK YOU.

GIVE IT UP. YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE.

YEAH, WE ARE... WITH HER.

SEAN...

COME ON!

Chris: SEAN...

GET AWAY FROM ME!

GET AWAY! GET AWAY!

[ bystanders shouting ]

Pitt: SO LONG!

HEY! HEY! HEY! DONDE VAS?!

HURRY!

STOP! STOP! WAIT!

WAIT!

WAIT!

WAIT!

HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON? YOU'RE NOT OUR DRIVER!

[ slams on brakes, woman thrown to the rear ]

DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET AWAY WITH THIS?

HA HA! I'M ALWAYS THE OPTIMIST.

WE'RE RUNNING A LITTLE LATE, FOLKS,

SO IF EVERYBODY'D JUST SIT DOWN AND RELAX.

YOU'LL NOTICE BELOW US

THE BEAUTIFUL SEACOAST OF PEDRAZA.

[ tires squealing ]

[ passengers yelling ]

SORRY.

WOULD YOU SLOW DOWN?

WOULD YOU SHUT UP?

[ passengers screaming ]

HEY!

HEY!

STEP ON IT, SLICK!

I CAN WALK FASTER THAN THIS THING'S MOVIN'!

GO AHEAD!

Marlis: WHOA!

[ ringing bell ]

JUST DROP US OFF ANYWHERE.

[ tires squealing ]

I SURRENDER! I QUIT!

I SURRENDER! TAKE ME!

I'VE PLACED MYSELF IN MY OWN CUSTODY!

OH, GET OUTTA HERE!

A GOVERNMENT SALARY, EXQUISITE TASTE... WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? I WAS RIPE FOR TEMPTATION.

COME ON!

COME ON, MOVE IT!

YOU, MOVE! MOVE IT!

WELL, WE'RE ON OUR WAY!

OH, GOOD!

AAH!

SEAN?

OH! OH!

Hartman: THANKS AGAIN FOR CLEARING UP THIS WHOLE MRS. KENT BUSINESS.

I HOPE IT DIDN'T SPOIL YOUR HONEYMOON TOO MUCH.

NO! IT WAS JUST LIKE THE BROCHURE SAID,

- BOATING... - SWIMMING...

NATURE HIKES, DEEP-SEA DIVING. THE ONLY PART THEY LEFT OUT WAS THE SHOOTING AND KILLING.

WE HATE TO LOSE YOU. SURE YOU WON'T RECONSIDER THAT RESIGNATION?

- POSITIVE. - POSITIVE.

SUCH A PITY, SUCH A FINE CAREER.

OH, WELL, THANKS AGAIN!

W-WAIT!

W-W...! THAT'S IT?

"THANKS AGAIN" IS IT?

THAT'S IT.

LET'S GO.

LOOK, PAL, I HAVEN'T...

NO, NO!

HERE! FOR YOU!

HONEY, COULD YOU ASK THEM TO BRING DOWN THE HOTEL ROOM,

BECAUSE I'M... I'M JUST TOO TIRED TO MOVE.

I JUST HAD A THOUGHT.

WHAT?

IF MRS. KENT DID ALL THIS ON HER OWN, AND THE STATE DEPARTMENT KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THIS,

WHO THE HELL IS GONNA PAY FOR OUR ROOM?

OH...

YOU'RE THE McDONALDS, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

OH, THANK GOODNESS! I'VE BEEN LUGGING THIS THING AROUND, LOOKING FOR YOU.

I WOULDN'T LEAVE IT WITH THE HOTEL... HUH!

THEY HAVEN'T FOUND MY LUGGAGE YET.

OH...

HOLEY MOLEY!

HEY! COME BACK HERE!

COME BACK HERE!

WAIT A MINUTE!

SLOW DOWN!

Captioned by CAPTIONEERING Your Closed Captioning Resource www.captioneering.com...